Penelope grew more miserable by the day. She was dreading graduating now, more so than she had before, because graduating meant she'd be handed off to Rabastan and expected to be his dutiful little wife. Which was sad, because Penelope had always had a bit of excitement for the idea of being someone's wife, and she had never minded the thought of being a housewife, either. She wouldn't even mind being the matriarch of a house without house elves. She didn't find the thought of cooking or cleaning to be so terrible. Being the quiet, poised arm candy of a Death Eater, however?

That sounded bloody horrific.

She dragged her feet day in and day out, barely managing in her classes, feeling like she was treading water and losing. She knew soon she'd be getting a letter from her parents about their disappointment in her falling grades, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She was finding it hard to care about anything since her conversation with Remus at the start of term.

A small part of her had hoped that maybe Remus would see the ring on her hand and proclaim his undying affections for her; promise to whisk her away and save her from Rabastan. The he'd realize he was out of time and would lose her to some other man. That he had feelings for her, too.

She'd been wrong about all of it. And horribly crushed. His reaction to her declaration of love had shattered her heart. The way he'd looked as if she'd slapped him and told her she couldn't love him. As if the mere thought of her affections being turned towards him was disgusting and unthinkable.

A whole month passed with no exchange between her and the source of her emotional distress. Rabastan took her on a date on their first Hogsmeade weekend. He'd held her hand in the crook of his arm, opened doors for her, paid for their purchases, and politely kissed her cheek when they parted ways in the common room.

She'd run as soon as the door closed behind her and hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

He'd acted like a complete gentleman when under watchful gazes, but the second backs were turned on them his hands began to wander. They burned her through her clothes, and not in the way she read about in trashy romance novels she was always hiding from her mother. No, Rabastan's grazes felt as if an acidic potion had spilled on her skin and was spreading along her robes. And she'd know what that felt like- it'd happened to her in the previous year's potion class. Speaking of potions, she had not gotten an acceptable grade on that particular O.W.L. and was now not allowed to proceed with that course. Her father had been positively furious when she'd shown him her results. Just the thought of his reaction caused her whole body to shiver in fear.

All in all, Penelope had the sinking feeling that her life was completely falling apart from the inside out.

It had been a horribly long day for a Friday, in Penelope's opinion. She'd been called out in Transfiguration for not paying attention, and then in DADA she'd caught the sleeve of her robe on fire somehow (although she had a sneaking suspicion that someone else had lit her on fire). And In History of Magic, Professor Binns assigned ten inches of parchment on the Goblin Wars. She didn't even know which Goblin Wars, because she'd once again spaced out.

She sighed as she stepped off the last stair and rounded the corner, on her way to the Great Hall for dinner. Even though she wasn't particularly hungry. And hadn't been for a while, to be honest.

In her slow, hazy state and lack of care for what happened at this point, Penelope didn't startle much nor resist when a pair of hands grabbed a hold of her and drug her into a hidden alcove in the wall. She basically slumped into the arms of her nabber.

"Penny, it's me- Sirius," the older boy whispered. "Sorry for pouncing on you like this."

Penny shrugged as he let go and stepped back from her, scrutinizing her face.

His face pulled into a worried frown. "Is it Lestrange? is that why you look like you've been given a Dementor's kiss?"

Penelope couldn't even muster up an affronted scowl in response to his less than tactful observation. "It's not not Lestrange," she said with the most emotion she'd shown in a few weeks. Mostly her voice gave away her disdain.

"Ok... What else has got you going through life like nothing matters anymore?" Sirius asked, stooping a little to catch her gaze. His grey eyes were stormy, and she didn't know how to take this show of concern for her. No one had really done that before- shown concern, that is- excluding their first night back to Hogwarts that year when Remus ran after her in the Entrance Hall.

"I don't know. Maybe it's just that instead of marrying someone I love, I'm sentenced to a loveless marriage with a future Death Eater," she snipped offhandedly. When she realized what she'd said, a hand flew up to cover her mouth daintily. "Oh, my. Don't- Uhm- please don't tell anyone I said that."

Sirius' face seemed to twist in sadness and discomfort. "I won't. I wouldn't put you in that kind of danger." He watched her closely for a second, as if searching. "So, there's someone you love, is there?"

Penelope's broken heart throbbed. "O-Oh. He... he didn't say anything?"

"If you're talking about Remus, no, he didn't say anything to us."

Penelope's eyes fell to the floor as shame and embarrassment washed over her. Had Remus really been so put-off by her confession that he hadn't said a word of their private conversation to his best mates?

"Oh. Well, erm. I told him I lo- love him," she mumbled. She cocked her head. "In love with him, specifically."

Sirius cursed under his breath. "What did he say?"

"He told me not to say that. That I 'couldn't' love him.'" Tears rose in her eyes unbidden. She hadn't really let herself think about that interaction in length, for this exact reason. She'd rather feel numb than the crushing sorrow brought by the tears and rumination.

Sirius shook his head and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Penny, he didn't mean it how you think he did. Remus,,, Has a hard time letting people in."

She shook her head. "There's a difference between letting people in and loving someone, Sirius. I don't think he wants to do either with me."

Sirius bit his lip, eyes troubled as she practically watched the gears turn in his brain. "Ok. Penelope, Remus may very well murder me when he finds out I even offered to tell you this, but... If you want to know why Remus is pushing you away, I'll tell you. But- Only if you swear a wizard's oath not to tell anyone else I told you this."

Penelope felt a spark of curiosity light up in her being, and the emotion was the strongest she'd felt since Remus basically turned her away that she couldn't turn her own back on the need to satiate it. the need for answers. The tiniest piece of hope wedged itself into one of the cracks in her heart, promising to seal the fissure.

She quickly pulled out her wand and said her oath.

Sirius took a deep breath and stepped right up next to her, leaning down to place his lips by her ear. His whispered words stirred her hair as he spilled the biggest secret of the man she was in love with.

A gasp rasped past her parted lips.