Scarred Angel

by Ari's World

I looked into his dark brown eyes; I saw nothing but love and adoration. I've never seen that look before. I don't understand why he looks at me like that. Part of me believed he could do much better than me, and while everything in my being told me, I was nothing special. He helped me feel like I was.

35. I Will Always Support You

Hi All,

Wow, it's been a while. Sorry about that. I could not get this chapter the way I wanted it. But I'm excited. I hope everyone is doing well.

Let me know your thoughts!

Take care of yourselves.

Always and Forever,

Ari.

Warnings for all chapters: No minors, sexual situations, Mentions of death, funeral anxiety, parental arguing, silent treatment, bullying, emotional abuse, discussion of death, implied sexual relationships, unwanted touching, sexual assault, suicide attempt using a medication, suicidal ideation, manipulation, panic attack, abandonment, stress, abandonment.

Disclaimer: I only own my O.C.s and parts of the plot you do not recognize from the Twilight Saga.

Chapter 34: I Will Always Support You

"In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun."

― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

12:00 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

She moved across the kitchen, her hair falling from her messy bun distorting her view of decorating the cake, and he watched her lips quirking down when she pushed the hair from her face, tucking it away, her frustration giving way when it kept falling from her ear. He fiddled with the tape, wanting to return to the kitchen, except he knew better. Earlier, Laryssa had all but bodily shoved him out of the kitchen when he kept trying to taste the frosting she had made from scratch.

"Babe," He called from his chaotic place at the table; wrapping gifts was something he was starting to detest with a passion. He didn't understand how she said he only needed three pieces of tape at most. "Can we switch?"

"Nope," Laryssa answered quickly, focusing on the three-layered cake, carefully drawing the Star Wars Theme on the third layer. "I told Emily that I would not let you near it."

"I feel the love," Paul grumbled, and she turned to him, smirking at him. "I did pretty well with the icing on the cookies, remember?" She set her piping bag down, leaning on the counter and watching him, eyebrow quirked at him. "Fine," He pouted, trying to wrap them the presents again. Paul kept flipping the odd-shaped box. He started wrapping it, aware of her eyes on him, as he used more than five pieces. Laryssa snorted, and he glanced at her, noticing her laughing on her shoulder, trying to hide her laughter. "You're telling me you can wrap this with three pieces of tape?"

"Yes," Laryssa snickered, picking up her pipette and preparing to return to the cake. "Love you." Paul shook his head, watching her focus back on the cake. He admired how she could have laser focus when she was in the middle of creating. "Love you," She called, pausing to look at him. He blinked, realizing that he didn't answer her. He nodded at her, and he heard the pipette clatter to the counter, and a few seconds later, his arms were full of her, "I love you." His arms wrapped around her, holding her close so she didn't smack the table. Paul looked away from her, and her fingers dug into his scalp, pulling his head back so that he could see her pouting, "I love you."

He grinned at her, locking his arms around her. Paul marveled at her, taking in her long eyelashes and pretty brown eyes, scowling at him. Her inky hair fell from her bun, and he tucked it behind her ear, saying, "I love you too, sweetheart." She kissed his cheek, letting go of his hair, "Even if you won't trade jobs with me," Her hand connected with his side, causing him to jerk and bang his head against hers. Laryssa jerked back from him, causing her to almost fall from his lap, but he gripped her, pulling her back into him. "Shit, you okay?"

Laryssa laughed, rubbing the side of her head before squeezing his arms, holding onto him. "Yes, you?" She tugged his earlobe when he shook his head, letting out a deep breath. "I'm almost done with the cake. Then we can relax for a while before we have to leave." She picked up the gift he wrapped, "looks good."

"Liar," Paul murmured, resting his head against hers while she examined his wrapping. "Resting before a kid's birthday party, preparing for snotty noses and sticky hands." She snorted, standing up while he kept his hands on her, keeping her within arm's length. "Show me how you wrap this?"

Laryssa's fingers played with his before she leaned down, kissing his head. "Nice try, Lover."

"Damn," He grinned at her, letting her go, "did I almost get you?"

"Nope," She popped the 'p,' skipping back to the counter. "You volunteered to wrap gifts, and I took the cake." Laryssa hummed to herself, focusing back on the cake. Paul grinned, taking the next toy box, humming to himself. She looked back at him, the corner of her lips quirked up.

1:24 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

Paul marveled at the cake, propping himself up against the counter. Her talent knew no bounds. Laryssa turned, offering the spatula with the homemade frosting. He took it, looking back at his pathetic wrapped presents. "You did good," Laryssa encouraged, leaning against him. "The kid is going to love unwrapping his gifts."

"You are just saying that," Paul licked the spatula, the burst of sweetness pairing nicely with the salty chips he had just inhaled. "I want a yellow cake with chocolate frosting for my birthday, and the theme is Halloween."

"I'm not. Have you seen little kids go crazy when unwrapping gifts? Jay always goes crazy, and he's a teen," Laryssa murmured, patting his stomach and yawning. "You don't want transformers anymore." Paul squeezed her side, causing her to jump. "Noted," her gaze was drawn back to the presents. "I wasn't lying; they look good."

"As long as the gremlin likes it." He sighed, taking her hand, wanting to drag his feet to the party. The last thing he wanted was to be around screaming kids. His ears were feeling sensitive today. "Do we have to stay long," Paul moved, setting the spatula in the sink. "We could come home early."

"Whatever would we do," Laryssa turned, grinning at him. Her finger rubbed the side of his lip, showing him the chocolate.

"I can think of a few things," Paul kissed her finger, cleaning the chocolate off her finger. She hummed, her eyes darkening, and he watched her wet her lips. "What do you say, sweetheart?"

Laryssa moved, standing on her tiptoes, letting her arms drape across his shoulders. "Yes," She murmured, and he moved, leaning down, pulling her legs to wrap around his waist. Laryssa's nose brushed against his before pressing her lips to his, and he walked backward until his legs hit the back of the couch. "The frosting tastes good," She pulled back, "I did good."

"You did good," Paul agreed, laying back on the couch and staring at her. Laryssa shifted like she was about to get off him, and he held fast to her hips. She quirked an eyebrow at his tight grip and patted his hands while she shifted into a more comfortable position, pressing closer to him. Laryssa glanced at his right hand and tugged it away from her hip. She played with his fingers, tracing the callous before moving to the veins along his arm. "What are you doing?"

"Taking time to memorize the body that makes my heart overwork itself," Laryssa smiled to herself, and he squeezed her hip before trailing his hand under her shirt, touching the soft skin of her hip. Her breath stuttered, her pretty lust-filled brown eyes locked with his, "There it goes again." She leaned down, pressing her lips to his, and his teeth tugged on her lower lip. A soft whine left her, and he stroked her sides, gently trying to coax her to move against him. Her hips rolled when he stroked his finger higher across her skin, just skimming her bra. Laryssa pulled back, burying her face in his neck to hide her pretty flush, her hips still rolling against his, chasing her release, "more."

"More what, baby," Paul couldn't help but tease her, and he felt her teeth lightly sink into his neck. His body shivered, and he focused on breathing, trying to stop himself from pulling her fully against him so that she could feel every inch of him and what he would gladly give her. "That's not telling me. I need your words, Sweetheart."

"Touch me," Her voice was soft and muffled by her pushing herself further into his neck.

"I am already," Paul reminded her, and her hand sank into his hair, and he waited for her to pull. His hand trailed up, cupping her through her bra, and excitement filled him when she grounded into him, "Don't you feel me?"

"I don't... it's in the way," She whined, pulling back to look at him with hooded eyes, letting her frustrations out when she tugged on his hair, her hips continuing their brutally slow pace. His eyes almost closed at the deliciously painful throbbing of his hair being pulled. "Don't you want to feel me?" Laryssa flipped it on him, and he faltered before tugging her bra out of the way to touch her. She shuttered when he pinched her and tugged, her eyes rolling back, her body shaking. When he didn't relent, her body trembled, lifting away from him, and he noticed her lip caught between her teeth; he stopped, pulling her lip from her teeth.

"Remember what I said, sweetheart," Paul reminded, pulling her down on him using both hands; she let out a breathtaking moan, and he couldn't help himself as he reconnected their mouths, greedily swallowing her noises. Laryssa pulled back before she sagged against him, and he ran his fingers down her spine, and she jerked against him. He adjusted himself, trying to shove his frustration down, and she tried to rise. "I got you; relax my heart."

"But you-" Laryssa tried, still fighting against him, "Let me try. I can go do-"

"No, sweetheart," Paul cut her off, trying to fight the image of her between his legs. He tried to picture boring things to help lower his excitement. "We have to leave soon," Laryssa grumbled, peering up at him, letting her fingers trail to his pants.

"Let me," She murmured. Paul caught them, kissing her hand, staring at her flush, and he knew it wasn't just from her orgasm. His fingers caught her chin before she could look away, "Don't be embarrassed or upset. If I let you go down on me, baby, there is no way we would leave this house. You have no idea how much I want you, and if we could blow off this party, I would in a second."

Laryssa sent him a tentative smile before it faded to a frown, "It's always me getting something out of it."

"Babe, fuck, just because I didn't finish this time doesn't mean I didn't get anything out of it," He reassured her, kissing her slowly. "Okay?" She nodded, brushing her nose against his. He urged her back down into his arms, rubbing her back, cuddling her closer.

2:54 p.m. Uley House, La Push, Washington

Paul watched the little gremlins run around, excitedly yelling as they played freeze tag. His eyes darted to Laryssa as she and Kim chatted and giggled to themselves. Her eyes would trail to him occasionally, and she would blush and smile at him. Jared shoved his shoulder, and Paul shoved him back, ignoring the warning look from Sam.

"You're staring," Jared smirked, handing him a can of coke. Paul popped the tab, rubbing the back of his neck. "Lovesick fucker."

"Fuck off," Paul refrained from shoving him, and he chugged the coke, ignoring the burn. "You're not much better."

"Yeah," Jared turned to stare at Kim, the adoration plain on his face. "She made me a blanket, y'know. She kept quiet about it and hid it."

"Whose the lovesick fool now," Paul murmured, quirking his eyebrow at one of the kids staring at him by himself on the porch steps. "Why did we need to be here?"

"To have something normal. Watch your mouths," Sam pushed, settling beside them, and Paul rolled his eyes at him. Normal was such a broad term. Paul moved, sitting in the uncomfortable folding chair, counting the minutes before he could sneak Laryssa out of there.

"Normal," Jared laughed, "interesting idea of it being with kids. We were thinking more of a bonfire with an assortment of food made by our new chef." He gestured to Laryssa, and Paul watched her eyes crinkle at the newcomer standing by Kim, and she shifted Seth, faux napping on her shoulder. She ignored him with ease, and Paul watched him shift his full weight on her, trying to get her attention, and she continued her conversation, pinching his stomach unbothered. "Bad enough, this one hardly lets her out of sight and hordes all the food. Taking wolf to the extreme."

Paul glowered at him, "She still made those brownies." Jared perked up, his eyes honing in on the food-filled table. He jumped up, moving quickly to the table. "You're scaring the kids." Sam pointed out, and Paul took a deep breath to resolve his frustration. Paul pressed his hand to his ear, trying to soothe the pain. Paul stared at Sam, wondering how he could handle the screeches of laughter, when his head started to pound.

"Sucks for the gremlins," Paul said, crushing the empty can of coke, looking around at the kids running and the parents gathered, laughing to themselves. "Whose the gremlin by himself?" Sam followed his sight to the little boy, sitting on the porch steps away from everyone else, observing the people.

"The birthday boy, Benny. His mom said he struggles with the other kids." Sam rubbed the back of his neck, "his mom said to leave him. I don't like that." Paul hummed, the boy turning to look back at him. Sam waved him over, and he shrunk into himself before taking a deep breath and slowly walking to them. "Be nice." Paul grits his teeth at the low expectation of being a dick to a kid at his birthday party.

Benny pressed himself to Sam's leg, staring at Paul wearily. Paul grinned at him, trying to ease the kid's nerves about him being an asshole. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks," Benny's voice was soft, and he probably wouldn't have heard it clearly without enhanced hearing. Benny stared up at Sam, and Sam ruffled his hair, leaning down to pick him up. From a closer inspection, Benny looked younger than seven years old. His long dark hair was pulled back into two braids, and his glasses looked too big for his small face.

"How old are you?" Paul asked, fiddling with the can, eyes drifting back to Laryssa and Jared with a rib sticking out of his mouth as he draped himself over Kim.

"Seven," Benny whispered, his hand in a death grip on Sam's shirt.

"Wow," He glanced at Sam, trying to figure out what to say next, only for Emily to call for Sam.

"Wanna keep Paul company, Benny," Sam asked, even as he sat the kid next to Paul. Benny didn't answer, and he kept his eyes downcast. "I'll be right back." Sam left without looking back, and suddenly, Paul was stuck with the painfully shy and nervous Gremlin.

Paul glanced at the kid, noticing that he started to pull his knees to his chest. "I heard you like legos." Benny looked at him, nodding his head. "What do you like to build?"

"Star Wars," Benny's voice was a little bit louder. A high-pitched scream made Paul cringe and want to cover his ears. "It hurts my ears too."

Benny looked at the other kids darting around, "You don't want to play with them?" He shook his head furiously, clutching his jeans like he wanted to dart back to his haven on the stairs. "Fair enough. Are you hungry?" Paul could hear his stomach grumble. Benny nodded, slowly loosening his fingers clutched in his jeans. "C'mon, let's get something to eat then." Paul stood, stretching his back, and looked down when a clammy hand curled around his hand. The kid's hand was tiny, and he felt like a tower compared to him. He grinned at the kid, hoping to ease his nervousness, and the kid gave a small smile. "You like meat, Benny?" Paul maneuvered him when the kids ran too close to him as they slowly made their way to the food table. The little one flinched each time another gremlin came close to him, and Paul briefly wondered what that was about. He held back teasing him when he noticed how small Benny was compared to the high table. "What do you want?" Benny shrugged, struggling to look in the bowls. "Can I pick you up so you can see and tell me what you want?" Benny tilted his head, and Paul had never seen someone so tiny stress over a simple question. Just as he was about to take it back, Benny released his hand and held his arms out. Paul didn't falter, and he hauled the kid up. Paul grabbed a plate, shifting the kid on his arm. Benny pointed to the ribs, his fingers digging into Paul's shirt. "C'mon, little one, tell me it's okay to talk, even if it's a whisper. I'll hear it."

Benny pulled back, chewing on his lower lip. He took a deep breath, his voice whispering, "Ribs, salad, and bread." Paul nodded, putting food on the plate, "Fruit too... please, no grapes." Paul moved, putting extra fruit on the side. "I can hold it. You can get yours." Paul gave him his plate, grabbed another, and piled his food high.

"Where do you wanna eat," Paul turned, looking around and noticing none of the tables were empty. He caught Laryssa's gaze, and she grinned at him, gesturing to the table she sat at. "How about there? You can sit with my friends."

"Are they nice?" Benny bit his lower lip, his eyes darting around.

"Yeah, we can always sit on the porch if you want. But it might be nice to try something new," Paul added, readjusting Benny, hoping he would choose the table because the last thing he wanted to do was sit on the rickety stairs. "What do you think?"

"Okay," Benny started chewing on his lip, "If they aren't, we can go?"

"Yes," Paul confirmed, "but I'll let you meet my favorite person. I promise she is really nice." Benny stared at him, nodding. Paul started to the table, listening to Laryssa's soothing voice. Paul set his plate down at the table, gently lowering Benny into the chair by Laryssa. He sat beside Benny, looking around at the smiley quiet table. "This is Benny."

They all waved at him and murmured their greetings. Seth popped up enthusiastically, startling Benny to the point where Benny clung to his arm. Seth winced, letting Laryssa pull him back down. "He looks really big, but think of him as a big puppy," Laryssa smiled at Benny, ruffling Seth's hair and pulling him under her arm.

Benny nodded, slowly detaching himself from Paul to sit back down. "Who is your favorite person," Benny whispered, waving meekly at Seth. Laryssa's eyes crinkled as she tried to figure out what he said. Paul shook his head at her, and she let it go.

"Guess," Paul picked up a rib, his stomach grumbling. He ignored Kim's quiet cooing at Benny when he put a berry in his mouth. Benny glanced around the table quickly, kicking his legs while he chewed slowly. Paul glanced over his head, meeting Laryssa's eyes, and she grinned at him, and he wanted to know what she was thinking. "Him," Paul broke away from her, noticing Benny pointing at Seth.

Seth laughed, leaning on Laryssa again, "Awh, I love you, Paul. You are my favorite person, too."

Laryssa snickered, tugging Seth's nose, "I'm telling my brother."

"What if I make you a plate," Seth offered, getting ready to stand. She tugged him back down in his chair.

Paul took a deep breath when he realized he hadn't made her a plate. "I can do it." Benny jerked, grabbing his arm like Paul would sprint to the food table and leave him behind.

"No, it's okay. I got it," Laryssa stood, smoothing out her shirt. "Does anyone need anything?" He listened to the others call out food, and they stopped when he glared at them. "Be nice," Laryssa moved, rubbing his shoulders briefly as she moved to the food table, Seth trailing after her.

"Relax and eat little one," Paul murmured, patting his little hand and gesturing to his food. Benny relaxed slightly, returning to picking at his food, "I gave you a hint earlier; I said she is really nice." Benny looked around the table again and shrugged his shoulder, starting to bite on the rib, the BBQ sauce getting on his cheeks. "Is it good?" Benny hummed, eyeing Laryssa when she came back with three plates. Seth popped up behind her with two other plates and his cargo pants filled with soda cans and utensils.

"I got you guys a plate," Laryssa pushed plates to Kim, Jared and Claire, and Seth started pushing the utensils.

"Thank you," Kim squealed, pulling her plate closer to her. "I love you."

"I love you too," Jared exclaimed, shoving spoonfuls of macaroni salad.

"Thank you," Claire grinned, watching Jared with mild horror. He couldn't wait for her to see Quil's inhalations.

"Benny, would you like a soda or something else to drink," Laryssa asked, bending down, and Benny nodded, putting his rib down. She grinned at him, and Paul had to admit that he looked cute with his mouth stuffed like a chipmunk. Jared moved to take one of the cans, "Wait, let the birthday boy choose first."

"Sprite," He whispered, and Laryssa tilted her head closer, trying to hear.

"Sprite, sweetheart," Paul said, settling back in his chair. Laryssa nodded, setting the can closer to him, pushing the can Jared wanted to him. Laryssa started checking on everyone, ensuring Seth was settled. Paul reached out, touching Laryssa's arm, "Will you sit and eat, please?"

"Yeah," She moved to sit, grinning at him. Her eyes trailed to Benny, and she grinned at him, "You okay?" Benny nodded, staring at his can of Sprite.

"Can you open this?" Benny's voice became stronger, and she took it in stride, not paying attention to it. She opened his soda and a napkin for him and set it on his lap. "Thank you."

"No problem." She looked at her food, starting to dig in.

He met Benny's eyes, and Benny pointed to her. He smirked and nodded, taking in the little Gremlin's BBQ smile. The little one touched Laryssa's hand, and she leaned down, listening to his whispers. Paul looked around, noticing everyone was relaxed as they chatted between bites. Sam was right; it was nice to have normal.

3:35 p.m. Uley House, La Push, Washington

Paul watched Benny tear open the gifts he wrapped, an excited smile on his face. "Told you." Benny grinned at the sight of Legos, and he was giddy.

"You did," Paul murmured, grinning, when Laryssa leaned against him, offering a plate of cake to him. He took it, humming at the sweetness of the cake, finishing it in four bites. "He's so happy."

"He is," Laryssa agreed, crossing her arms over her stomach. Paul moved, tugging her so she was standing in front of him. He put her arm around her stomach, pulling her closer to him. "He loved the cake too."

Paul hooked his chin on her shoulder, "of course he did." Paul watched Benny laugh with his parents and grinned when he met his stare, sending a shy wave. Paul waved back at him, "You ready to head out?"

Laryssa tilted her head back at him, "Yeah, you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," Paul moved back, crushing the plate, grasping her hand. He pulled her back to his truck, tossing his plate in the garbage.

"Wait!" Paul stopped seeing Benny's little legs sprinting to him, his parents watching. "You're leaving?" Paul nodded, feeling Laryssa's fingers twitch, and he squeezed them, urging her to stay strong. Benny's puppy eyes mirrored Seth's, "Why? Weren't you having fun with me?"

Guilt settled in his stomach at the wounded look on his face. "Well, maybe we can stay a little longer," Laryssa murmured lowly enough to where Benny couldn't hear her, leaving the decision up to him.

Paul released Laryssa's hand and squatted close to Benny's height. It was nice to talk with the little munchkin and watch him slowly come out of his shell and giggle with his friends. "I had so much fun with you, munchkin. We can stay a little longer and watch you finish opening your gifts, okay?" Benny nodded quickly, his glasses almost knocking off his face. He turned on his heels, rushing back to the table with his presents. Paul ignored the others' gazes on them, standing up, retaking her hand. He pulled her to an empty table where he could see him. "He's cute."

"Yeah, I can tell, munchkin. He graduated from Gremlin," Laryssa laughed, sitting beside him. "Puppy eyes got you." Paul nodded, shaking his head, watching Benny's eyes trail to him after every present to ensure he was still sitting there.

"Got you too," Paul grinned, squeezing her hand. Laryssa smirked, laying her head on his arm.

4:55 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

I looked at Paul, stretched on his bed, his hands rubbing his ears. I moved beside him, setting my hand on his arm. "Are they hurting?" He nodded, and I rubbed his arm. "Do you want to try something warm or cold?"

"M'okay," Paul said, sitting up. "Just a small headache."

"You are worse than I am with temperature things," I murmured, settling at the head of the bed. I patted my thighs, urging him to lie down. He smirked, I rolled my eyes, and he settled on my thighs.

Paul stared at me, and I put my hand over his eyes, covering his view of my unflattering angle. "Laryssa, why did you cut off my view."

"Close your eyes," I smiled down at him, and I felt his lashes brush my palm. "Relax." I tilted his head to the left, applying pressure behind his right ear and moving down his neck. "More pressure, or is it okay?"

"S'good baby," Paul's voice cracked, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing. He cracked an eye open, pinching my nose, and I tried to bite his fingers. "So mean."

"I know, I'm the worst," I grinned, focusing on the same side. I added more pressure, and his hand found my thigh, squeezing slightly. He stopped breathing, "Breathe, Paul," I lessened the pressure, and he took a deep breath. "Tap if it is too much, okay?"

"Yeah," His voice was breathless. I pressed my fingers against the spot I was on, and a grunt left his lips. I finished with the pressure lightly grazing his skin. "It hurts, but it's a good pain."

"One more side, okay," I murmured, kissing his forehead. He nodded, turning his head. "Breathe," I applied pressure behind his left ear and rubbed it down his neck. Paul pressed his fingertips into my thigh fat, taking slow, deep breaths. "Doing good, baby, almost done." I released the pressure, and he moved his head to look up. I moved to massage under his jaw, avoiding his eyes, "I wonder if you get ear infections, even if you are a protector."

"Doubt it. I haven't gotten sick since I shifted." Paul moved, getting comfortable in my lap. "Give me a Spiderman kiss."

"Demanding..." I shook my head, leaning down and pressing my lips to his, my nose brushing against his chin. "Nerd," I pulled away, brushing my fingers against his lips.

"Says the girl who knew exactly what I was talking about," Paul sat up, his hand grasping the back of my neck, brushing his nose against mine. "Thank you for the massage."

"I only knew it because we watched it." I brushed my hand against his cheek. "I have something for you." I pulled back, reaching underneath his bed and putting out the box I had gotten a few weeks ago from Claire. He moved closer to me, tapping the box. I put it in his lap, and just as he was about to open it, the doorbell rang. "You can open it, and I'll get the door." I got up, and his hand wrapped around my arm, "stay here." I stared at him, sitting back on the bed, frowning at his serious face. "Don't come out no matter what you hear, got it?" He got up, getting ready to head out of the room.

"Yes, should I call Jared," I asked, holding his hand and pausing his departure. "Or one of the others?"

"No, just trust me Laryssa." Paul grinned at me, and I frowned at the tightness of his smile. "I'll be back in five minutes if that, and then I'll open this." He leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to my lips, and it did nothing to soothe whatever was going on. The doorbell rang again, and he pulled back and took a deep breath. He left his room and shut the door behind him. I bit my cheek, settling back on the bed and pulling the blankets over my legs. I tapped my phone, watching the time. I tapped my nails on the home screen, startled when it started buzzing in my hand. Jay's contact picture popped up, and I answered his call.

"Hey, I'm going to stay the night at Brady's. Can I borrow some cash for Pizza?" Jay rushed out, and I could hear Collin cursing in the background.

"Sure, can you pull it out of my account, or do you need cash?" I eyes the door, chewing on my nails.

"No, I can pull it out. Can I pull out thirty," He asked, and I nodded, glancing at the time. "Rys?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Do we need to go over the rules," I questioned, perking up when Paul opened the door. Paul shot me a tired smile and glanced at my phone. 'Jay,' he mouthed, and I nodded.

"No," Jay answered, clicking his tongue, "I transferred into my account."

Paul sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the phone to his mouth, "Make good choices, Jay."

"I will," Jay called. "See you guys tomorrow! Love you. Bye!"

He clicked off, not giving me any time to say anything back. "This little punk." I tossed my phone to the side, giving Paul my full attention.

"It was nothing; my mom is in the area." Paul sighed, rubbing his eyes, and his jaw clenched and unclenched. "She does this occasionally. She'll come back and want to stay here. I used to let her, and then she would return to her habits. I don't want her here."

All the tension I just got from his neck came back at full force. "Okay," I shuffled closer, gently rubbing the tension from his clenched jaw. "What can I do?" Paul blinked rapidly, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. I got up, moving my arms around his neck and pulling him close. He pushed his face into my stomach, his fingers digging into my sides. I held him tightly, carding my fingers through his hair. He pulled back slightly, his eyes shiny, and I gently wiped underneath his eyes. Paul tilted his head, and I leaned down, rubbing my nose against his at his silent request and pressing my forehead against his. "Whatever you need from me, you just have to tell me. Whatever decision you make, I will support you."

He nodded, sniffing, shaking his head lightly. He looked at the box, "Can I open the gift?" I grinned, running my fingers through his mused-up hair. It wasn't long enough to put in a bun, and a selfish part of me wanted him to grow it out. Paul pulled me beside him, and I watched him fiddle with the box. "It's not my birthday... or an anniversary. Why do I get a gift?"

"Quit stalling and just open it," I laughed, moving closer to him, wanting to see his face. I held my breath when he opened it and watched him closely when his eyes roamed the box's contents. Paul stared at it, and I gnawed on my lower lip, suddenly unsure if this was a good idea. He turned suddenly, and I fought the startle, "Surprise."

Paul grinned, returning to the box, his fingers trailing against his name branded on the carving tools. "How?"

"You said your other ones broke, and I thought you would like it." I rested my chin on his shoulder, watching him trace the letters of his last name. "I guess it's a just-because gift."

"This is the box that Clarie gave you," He stated, pulling one of the tools out, the silver gleaming in the soft light. "Your colored pencils."

"Such a good trade," I grinned, peering closer at the tool in his hand. I stroked his cheek, "So worth it."

Paul set the tool back in the box and set it to the side. He leaned closer, pressing kisses all over my face, and I giggled, relishing his attention. "Thank you, my heart." His nose brushed against mine. "I was going crazy without it."

"We can't have that, can we? We need you sane," I grinned, "there is room for only one crazy person in this family, and he is with his friends." Paul snorted, giving a full belly laugh, hiding his face in my hair. "He's such a punk." Paul moved so that I was lying back on the bed, and he was hovering over me, settling in between my thighs. I leaned up, and just as our lips were about to meet, a howl sounded, and I sighed, letting my head fall back. "Be careful, lover."

"Always," He moved, pressing his mouth against mine quickly.

I pulled away, "Ask Sam about the ears if you get a chance." He sighed, rolling his eyes, "Or don't, Mr. Huffy. Go before you are the last one." He pinched my cheek. I watched him go, grinning at him, blowing kisses.

6:49 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

I peered outside, seeing her sitting on the porch steps. The light from the cigarette glowed against the darkening sky. Her dark hair was unruly and unkempt, and she was an unhealthy thin. Her thin jacket was doing nothing to shield her from the cold. She only had a small purse hiked on her shoulder. I hoped I wasn't overstepping. I took a deep breath, clutching the backpack. I double-checked it, ensuring a change of clothes, a warmer jacket, hygiene supplies, and some small nonperishables. I pulled out my purple umbrella, setting it on top, along with the envelope I had stuffed with the cash I had left on me. I zipped up the bag before I could second guess it. I grabbed the small sack bag with warmed-up leftovers, hiking the bag on my shoulder, and opened the door.

The woman was startled; her eyes met mine, and I was almost startled by how much Paul resembled her. She was aged, and when I looked at her closer, her black hair was mixed up with white, and underneath her eyes were the darkest circles. "Who the hell are you? Bly's new whore?" Her voice was harsh and scratchy.

My lips twitched in disgust, "No. I'm Paul's girlfriend..." She stared at me repeatedly, and I fought the urge to fidget. Once she was done, she sneered, going back to her smoke. I ignored her mumbles of 'he could do better.' The air around us smelt like stale beer. I moved, sitting a good distance away from her on the porch. I set the stuff between us, and she scoffed, blowing smoke on it. I wrinkled my nose, digging my nails in my palms. I swallowed, staring at the trees, wondering if Paul was okay. "You're hurting him when you do this."

She snorted, turning to face me, and I kept my gaze straight. "You don't need to tell me any of this shit. I've changed. So fuck off, it has nothing to do with you."

"It has to deal with Paul. I wouldn't be out here if it didn't." I ran my fingers through my hair, turning to stare at her head-on. "I know I don't need to tell you anything, but I will tell you anyway." She clenched her jaw, and I inhaled the nicotine, clogging the air. "If you've truly changed, you wouldn't have that." I gestured to her left hand, clutching her flask in her palm. "You haven't because you are using it to cope with being turned away. So please stop hurting him."

Her fingers turned white from her deathly grip on it, and I felt my heart stutter when I realized how similar it was to when Grace threw stuff at me. She clicked her tongue, and her fingers relaxed, "He's my son. I'll always try to be here for him... I don't know why the fuck I'm entertaining this shit. Who the fuck raised you? Being rude to your elders. Fucking apologize, you little bitch."

I thought about her question and winced when I realized my family background wasn't good. A functioning alcoholic and an absent, uncaring mother raised me. I could see my father cursing me for being rude to the woman who was essentially my elder. I closed my eyes, taking another deep breath; respect was earned, not demanded. "I won't apologize for protecting him. I'll never apologize for that. I love him with everything I have and then some. I'm asking you nicely to stop because you are his mother. If I have to ask you again, the next time, I won't be so nice."

Her eyes widened, and then they blazed when she registered my words. "You love him so much that you risk a mother's wrath. Do you think a man will ever be with someone who disrespects his mother?"

"I'll risk anything so he doesn't have to keep feeling this pain. I won't stand by and let anyone hurt him. That includes you, his dad, or anyone else," I said, looking away from her, taking in the fresh air from the breeze.

I watched her from my peripheral vision; she scoffed again, leaning closer, sneering, "bitch you are forgetting; he is my blood. Girlfriend, don't make me laugh, you won't fucking last. He doesn't appreciate people getting in his business."

I turned back to her, glancing her up and down, taking her in. "Paul is my family, too. I wish we could've met under different circumstances. Even if I don't last, it will not take away the reason why I am doing this." I pulled out the piece of paper. "I am glad you are here and still trying because he is worth it, every single part of him, the good and the bad. There is a place that helps Indigenous people with substance abuse; here is the address. Go there, put in the work, and show him through your actions that you've changed, not your words, because he doesn't trust your words." I set the paper on the bag. I stood, brushing the dust from my sweat, "There is a hot meal and warmer clothes in the bag."

"I don't take handouts," She snarled, shoving the bag away, knocking it into my claves.

I leaned down, rightening the fallen bag, "Leave it then and continue to be a victim to your pride."

I rubbed my arms, taking in the last of the light. I turned away from her, heading back inside; just as I touched the handle, she said, "You love my son?"

"I wouldn't be here taking the verbal abuse by an elder if I didn't," I murmured, opening the door and feeling the rush of warmth from the heater. "Take care."

"Tell me this then, did he tell you my name? The last one didn't know it, and I doubt you do." I paused, tapping the door.

"Your name is Miah, and your favorite color that he remembers is purple because it is a royal color that helps you when you talk with spirits. He told me other things like your way with stories and how much he loved your hugs," I stated, glancing back at her and watching the sneer fade from her lips. Miah let out a small sniffle, and she hastily wiped her eyes. "Take care, Miah, and come back and show him. Don't let him bury a parent." I went in and shut the door, my heart pounding. I leaned against the door, hoping I had done the right thing.

9:01 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

I frowned at the shading on the new sketch. I groaned, letting my head thunk against the table. I couldn't get my dad's face right and tore it up, scowling at the failure pile. I got a brand new sheet, snagged some grapes, and stared at the blank page.

"What the hell are you still doing here," Paul's voice carried, and I glanced at the door. "Just leave." I got up when he continued to argue and went to the front door. I opened it, and Paul was holding the backpack I gave his mom. They stopped when I stepped out, "Sweetheart, go back inside. It's cold." I chewed on my lower lip, looking at the bag, "Take this inside, please."

I hesitated briefly before moving towards him, "I gave this to her."

"Doesn't matter, just take it inside." He offered the bag to me, and I grasped it. I continued to hesitate, stared at him, and a hurt look crossed his face. "You said you would support me."

"I know, and I will. I will take the bag inside if you want me to. I just don't want you to regret this." I stepped closer to him, ignoring his mom's furious look. I pressed my hand to his cheek, "I know you're hurt and angry right now; you have every right to be. I'm worried you're doing this out of malice and hurt, and these are actions you can't take back. Please take a second and think it through. Whatever you decide, I will support you." Paul let out a deep breath, pulling my hand from his face.

Paul lifted the bag, dropping it on the floor. "Just take it and leave."

"I don't want that shit," Miah snarled, taking a step forward.

Paul moved, standing in front of me, towering over his mom. "Then don't take it. I don't give a fuck what you do anymore. I want you to leave. I've given you too many chances, and I'm done." I stepped towards Paul, pressing my hand against his back, feeling his tremors. "Just leave." Paul turned, shuffling me towards the door. Once we were inside, he slammed the door. I took a step towards him, and he held up his hand. "I need space."

Paul moved past me, heading into his room. He closed the door behind him, and I faltered, unsure what to do.

9:58 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

I sat down at the table with my supplies spread out. I tapped my fingers against the table before gathering my things and putting them away. My keys were on the counter, and I wondered if I should go home. I grabbed them, heading to the front door, and Paul's door opened. He stepped out, wearing his comfy clothes, rubbing the back of his neck. Paul stared at me, frowning, "going somewhere?"

"I was going to go home," I murmured, fiddling with my keys.

He sighed, moving closer, pulling me away from the door. "That's not what I meant." His arms wrapped around my shoulders, "I'm s-"

"I overstepped. Don't apologize." I answered, pressing my face into his shoulder before pulling back. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't overstep. Don't apologize, Sweetheart. Thank you for telling me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted," his hands brushed up and down my back. "Thank you for what you did for her."

"Even though she's making some bad decisions, I will always be grateful for her decision to have you," I murmured, and he squeezed me tightly. "I don't want you to regret anything. Living with regrets, it's hard and painful." I rested my head against his heart.

I tried to hold back a yawn, and he kissed my forehead. "Go to sleep. I love you so much. I'll be there in a little bit, okay?"

"I love you too." I stood on my tippy toes, brushing my nose against his.

10:19 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

Paul stepped outside, moving to sit beside his mom on the porch. "I'm still not letting you stay here." She squashed the cigarette, flicking the bud into the rocks. "I'm tired of this mom."

She sniffed, pulling the jacket closer to her. "I've changed." Paul closed his eyes, shaking his head at the continuous lies.

"You haven't. I can smell the beer," Paul murmured, fiddling with a rock. He focused on the smooth edges on one side and the bumpy side. "I love you, mom. I can't keep doing this."

She turned, scooting closer to him, and the smell of the stale beer and nicotine was causing his head to pound. "I wish I could be better, baby."

"You can. It's a choice you can make. You have to want it for yourself," Paul tossed the rock down the steps. "I can't want it more than you." He turned to her, pressing his palm to her cool cheek. "Take care of yourself out there, okay?" She pressed closer to his hand, and his eyes burned. He brought the bag closer to her, "Take it."

Her fingers trailed against the bag's fabric, and he let his hand drop. "You told her about me?" Paul nodded, blinking quickly, trying to clear the burning. "She's a force of nature."

Paul smirked, shaking his head. "Yeah. She is. My firecracker." He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. She felt fragile in his arms, and she missed the hugs where she would wrap around him. Before he pulled back, he pressed a kiss to her hair. "I hope our paths cross again when you are better." Paul stood, letting her go. He turned, heading back inside, closing the door behind him, rubbing his eyes. He locked the front door and moved around the house, checking the windows and doors. He opened his door and saw Laryssa sitting up, fiddling with her phone, waiting for him. His eyes burned, and she patted the space next to her. He laid down and shifted into her arms. Laryssa pulled him closer, pulling her phone so that he could see the Transformers movie playing. He lay on her chest, and tears slipped from his eyes every time he blinked. She stroked his hair, squeezing him closer. "Thank you." She leaned over, pressing her lips to his forehead.