The Horse with No Name

Chapter Fifty-Six

Goku Son

"In spite of his usual disdain towards my people, Gohan seems to be in fine spirits compared to when I last saw him," Shin says very gracefully, before sipping his tea.

He looks by way of the garden to where Gohan and Goten lay like cats in the spring sun, a place hidden by the weeds Goku's allowed to become wild. He should mow it, really. Maybe Gohan can help once he's feeling inspired to do more than just exist.

"He's getting there," Goku says, leaning against the doorway. "Goten being around has helped. Rixas too."

"Ah, brotherhood, then."

"I guess," he laughs, awkward. Somewhat jealous. "I kinda' wish I could do more for him, instead of just... well… watch, I guess."

"You're his constant. Don't let the quietness of this position fool you, Goku, it is an important factor in Gohan's rehabilitation. I'm sure he'll appreciate you for being his consistent ally once he reconnects with his mortal roots. After all, without you he would have most certainly been executed despite however positively I spoke of him – promise to Rixas or none – as the moment he slayed Lord Haed was the moment he signed his life away."

"Haed killed Quell—"

"And for that, he would have faced trial, likely being found innocent if only due to his most prestigious representation and hold over the Council."

That's so corrupt. Haed would have been free to go, meanwhile Gohan had barely escaped with his life in tow. The disgust must translate on his face because Shin gives Goku a commiserative pat on the arm.

"Power speaks, I'm afraid. And Lord Haed held much of it."

"And the new guy… Liuci… er…?"

"Lord Liuciphour is young but impressive. I'm sure he will rule over Hell successfully. Already, he has found many… supporters within his godly cohort."

"The way you say that sounds kinda' like trouble…"

The Supreme Kai becomes contemplative for a moment, before waving a hand. "Do not worry yourself about it. Focus on keeping Gohan stable."

That's something easier said than done. Gohan's been enormously difficult to manage, with having periodic quiet spells, bouts of depression and such severe mood swings that they put Goku on his toes when Gohan drags himself into the kitchen each morning. It's the divinity, Shin had once told him in utmost secrecy. Whilst disrespectful to say aloud, it makes it no less true. The divine connection between power and emotions is known to be so fragile that even the best tempered gods – like Gohan, as Shin points out – still struggle with emotional regulation to some degree. Rixas' horrific displays under the Majin influence will never entirely disappear from Goku's mind. Beerus, too, has an awfully short fuse. With all these bombs waiting to go off, no wonder Shin's always on eggshells.

So yes, the weeks have been challenging. There have been some dark days. There's also been temptation for Goku to coddle Gohan, but Rixas laid out firm ground rules. Gohan has to come to them. He has to show interest otherwise he'll feel controlled.

"What is he? A cat?" Piccolo hadn't been impressed, but he'd agreed to stay away too.

And it'd been just last night that Gohan had done the hike to the waterfall.

They're getting him back, slowly. Step by step. Time is indeed healing.

"I wonder where they're going," Shin then says, tipping his cup towards where Goten and Gohan have taken to the sky. "Wherever it is, it is most certainly a nice day for it. I do wish I could break, also. Alas, I have a revolt to deal with this afternoon, and of course, the dragon balls."

"Revolt?"

"Dreadful news, really. Luxun's Domain is experiencing most awful riots."

"Luxun's Domain? Really? Wait, is that because of us? Of what happened when we were there?"

"Don't blame yourself," he says, indeed making Goku blame himself, "The situation has been worsening for millennia. Only now by making a plea for divine assistance can we finally make an effort to intervene with their situation. It's entirely political. Until the agreement has been finalized, there shall be no movement on our behalf."

"It's the Ghost, right? It was killing everyone when I was there. Is that what you wanted to talk to Gohan about today?"

Shin hums. "Yes, amongst other things. Mostly, I wanted to talk about the dragon balls, but I suppose he's not yet ready to cooperate with the Council, or even me. Perhaps once he starts his sessions with Doctor Hezk he'll find himself more agreeable."

Goku winces. That bridge won't be fun when they cross it. Rixas has been pushing back against Doctor Hezk starting as long as he's been able to, but her inevitability hangs over them like an annoying, spitting cloud. No, Gohan won't like her picking at his emotional scabs, and Goku won't like the tension that comes with her picking at said emotional scabs. Regardless of whatever Rixas or Shin says, Gohan's more like his mum than anyone else when it comes to that temper of his, and Goku knows from experience with her not to poke the bear.

Speaking of which, Goku's still not heard from her…

He sighs, hoping for something to happen to get the ball rolling there.

Shin resonates. "My, my, I can concur with your exasperation."

"Heh… yeah. It sounds like you've been pretty busy."

"It comes with the territory of a promotion unfortunately, and without an assistant I so often find myself more than a bit lost. I do miss Kibito greatly, and not simply just for his work ethic…"

There'd been a funeral, back when all the deaths had been raw and Gohan had still been sleeping in the gold and awaiting his hearing. It'd been a ceremony of sorts, for all the lives lost on each side. Rixas had wanted it as much, exhausted with the decisiveness of war; there'd been no black and white, after all. Goku now reflects how lucky their "side" had been to escape with the few casualties that they had, that without the intervention of Rixas and Quell everything would have been much worse.

Goku had mourned Quell during the service. He'd mourned the person who Gohan loved dearly, and the person who he saw as an incredibly powerful rival, but no longer an enemy. That chilly evening on Geo, he'd said farewell to the potential of what could have been, and he'd prayed for Quell to be patient to retrieve Gohan once again. For now, Goku will care for him until he's strong enough to care for himself, and one day – hopefully in many, many millennia to come – Gohan will once again find Quell in that ascended Almighty place and they can be together again.

"Shin," Goku says, "Do you think the Council will let Gohan connect to the Almighty?"

Shin hums, not saying anything.

"No?"

"Ah, who really can say?"

Goku laughs, awkward. "Gohan always tells me to be careful around you, y'know. Not to trust you. Sometimes, I kinda' see why. You're always dancing around answers these days."

At this, Shin is shocked. "I've only ever been your ally."

"You're my friend, but I think it'd be kinda' dumb of me not to know you have conflicting ideals. Don't think I've not noticed that you're one of the few to have benefited from all this. You've got a better job than ever."

"…That's a fair assessment," Shin eventually says. "Gohan is right to be cautious of me. I'll not begrudge that. I have ambitions, this is true. I also have a code of ethics. I have honour and my own beliefs. I also have a heart, and I care for those I consider my friends. These can exist parallel of one another. Gohan is not the only person to have been juggling such issues in this ordeal."

"What's more important? Your ambitions or your friends?"

He sips at his tea, and then lets it clink against the plate. "Goku, I will speak candidly on the matter. My ambitions are never able to be achieved alone, so perhaps you should understand why I value my friends beyond that of companionship. You are a powerful man. I have always recognized that in you. I recognized it in Gohan too, years ago, and that is why I had him draw the Z Sword before I had even known the truth of his connection to it.

"Like you, I trust in what you would call your gut instinct. In Celestianese, we'd refer to it as our just compass because it leads us to achieve justice despite the circumstances gesturing us otherwise. My just compass points in direction of you, perhaps because I know that you will always serve the greater good despite your own personal circumstances.

This trait of yours is serviceable. Our friendship is key to such a thing."

The idea makes Goku feel uneasy. He remembers Gohan saying the same thing about Goku's values concerning the greater good. But Goku denies this. He'll be selfish for his family now, and he tells Shin as much.

"You cannot turn off what you believe is right, Goku. Your conscience is a part of your very soul."

"So you're saying you wanna' manipulate me?"

"No… I don't need to. So long as we have aligning beliefs, I have faith you will stand by my side, and that is why I stand by yours. That is why I assist you in negotiating with the Council. That is why I searched for Gohan when he was lost despite the cause being hopeless. And that is why I keep you as a friend." Shin closes his eyes, appearing torn. "I apologize if this is hurtful."

"Well, yeah… I feel kind of used."

"Our using is mutual. That is the benefit of friendship."

Goku doesn't want complicated friendships ike this. He just wants the simple joys that come with being around friends and living with those he loves. Normality, perhaps. After everything, Goku feels he can relate with Goten and Chi-Chi just a little.

"I am fond of my position and what is allows me to achieve," Shin says ultimately on the matter, "But I also am fond of you all, more than my profession allows."

"Even Gohan?"

"Most especially. I think we would work famously together."

Goku wonders how well they could work together after Gohan's killed so many of Shin's colleagues. Shin doesn't hold a grudge on the matter, and from that alone Goku feels a bit more on edge around Shin than he used to.

"I'll let Gohan decide that on his own, and I'll support him when the time comes."

"Spoken like a true parent." There's a faraway smile. "Fatherhood seems so complicated," Shin comments, wry, "As a kai, I will never truly understand it, though I admire how the strength has carried you – or us, even – through Revelation. Yes… The connections we share have proved more powerful than might. What a most wondrous thing."

Shin's right on this bit at least, Goku later reflects in the midst of his training. He's meditating because, as mentioned, it's a fine day and Goku sees no better time to relax in the sunlight.

Yes, it hadn't been Goku's power or fighting expertise to have saved the day, but the bond between his son and those who care about him. The power of love. The power of will.

How proud he is of both of his boys, of his loved ones who made a difference, of himself for finally learning that there's more to getting stronger.

Power is a tool, not an ambition. And Goku wants to use it to protect what really matters, instead of incessantly slaving in yearn for more. For the first time, Goku can say he's not trying to reach the level above the one he has now.

He is content.

No politics, no power, no villain on the horizon.

What matters most is what's on this big, swirling ball of blue and green.

It's time for Goku to appreciate that.

It almost feels like retirement, except… this venture feels most rewarding of all.

By the time the sky grows pink and the birds grow tired, Goku opens his eyes to find himself no longer alone; opposite, Gohan sits with the shine of someone recently sun kissed, leaning against a tree with a book spread over his lap. He looks up, meeting Goku's eyes with his dim gold irises. There's something deep and wavering about how Gohan looks at him, as though no words are enough to express what's there.

Slowly, Gohan brings his book to a close.

And then, he smiles.