Chapter 8: The Healing Heart

Tetsuya stood alone on the balcony outside Aizen and Gin's bedroom, gazing silently into the fading light, his blue eyes pensive as he mulled over everything that had happened since his capture and arrival at Las Noches. It was a miracle, he was sure, that he still lived and breathed at all and it was certain that he was going to have to use every bit of his wits and abilities if he wanted to survive.

But to survive to what end? If Aizen wins in the upcoming conflict, then the life I knew before, as well as the people I love, will be destroyed. I don't want that. Still, is it any better if Gin-san is somehow able to kill Aizen? I did feel Gin's intent to do so…but his request for me to impregnate him with Aizen's and my child confuses me. It makes me wonder if Gin-san's heart is burdened at what he feels he must do. If only Gin-san trusted me enough to tell me why he has to kill Aizen. I know it tasks my heart every time I think of how heartlessly Aizen threw away the life of that other prisoner in my place in Itamigiri. He didn't say what his goal was or why the information was so crucial to him. Still, there is no excuse for treating other living beings with such disregard. Perhaps because the prisoners were nobles, if only half or less. I don't know…but I have to figure out something.

Tetsuya heard the bedroom door inside the room open and close. He felt the heavy brushing of Aizen's powerful reiatsu, then he heard the elder man sigh wearily. He expected Aizen to call him inside or to move to join him, but then he heard the swishing sound of clothing being removed and someone dropping onto the bed as though exhausted. Tetsuya stepped back through the balcony doors and walked slowly to the bed. Aizen laid on his back on the bed, dressed in a sleeping yukata and wearing a troubled expression. As Tetsuya approached, the elder man's eyes turned unexpectedly somber.

"Tetsuya," he greeted his captive, giving no sign whether or not Tetsuya's presence was a welcome thing.

Tetsuya paused for a moment, watching as Aizen closed his eyes and breathed slowly, seeming to release a little bit of tension with each soft exhalation.

"Aizen-sama," he said, returning his captor's greeting, "you look as though the war preparations weigh upon you. As a healer, I am trained to assist in relaxation through reiatsu soothing and physical massage. Do you wish for me to help you fall asleep?"

Aizen gave him a weary smile.

"Ah, that would be a relief after the day I've had."

"I understand. Conquering worlds can be tiring," Tetsuya joked, smirking as he climbed onto the bed.

"You seem more at ease," Aizen observed, "I was hoping that the affirmation of your status would calm you."

"It is easier to be calm with some small assurance that you have deemed me useful enough to keep me alive for now. I am still not sure that Gin-san wouldn't rather see me dead…"

"Oh, I don't think Gin wants you to die," Aizen chuckled.

"Except when you pay improper attention to me in front of him. He does seem jealous."

"Yes, he does," Aizen agreed, reaching up to stroke Tetsuya's soft cheek as blue light flared around the half-noble's extended hands, "I can't help but enjoy seeing that, you know. It reassures me that there is something between us that is not an illusion."

Tetsuya's head cocked and his expression grew curious.

"You don't think that Gin-san is in love with you?" he asked, "You think his behavior is an illusion?"

"Gin is slippery and he is very evasive," the traitor sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing beneath Tetsuya's gentle healing power, "Taking him at face value would be an invitation to death."

"I get that feeling also," Tetsuya concurred, "but I feel strongly that there is real love between you."

"You do?" Aizen mused skeptically.

"Most definitely," Tetsuya insisted, applying pressure with his fingers to a tense knot of muscles and massaging the area, "Gin-san struggles with himself because of what he feels for you."

Aizen's brown eyes opened and fixed on Tetsuya's questioningly.

"Gin has confided in you?" he asked, an edge of tension in his voice.

"No, of course not," Tetsuya answered firmly, "I am just…sensitive to things that people say and little things about them that betray hints of what they are really thinking."

Aizen's smile grew warm, yet at the same time chilling.

"And what do you sense I am thinking right now, Kuchiki Tetsuya?"

"I couldn't tell you," Tetsuya confessed softly, withdrawing his hands and gazing down at the powerful man who laid on the bed with him, "but the pheromones and the disturbed reiatsu you are radiating indicates that you are relaxed now, and desiring physical intimacy. Do you wish to summon Gin-san now?"

Aizen gave an amused laugh and ran his fingertips under Tetsuya's chin.

"Gin is on an assignment tonight. Tonight, you will entertain me on your own."

The half-noble flinched and his heart quickened, but he quickly controlled his reaction and gave his captor a tentative smile.

"I will do my best to please you, Aizen-sama."

"I look forward to that, Tetsuya," Aizen sighed lazily, guiding the younger man downward towards his alert genitals, "But…you may call me Sousuke…when we are in bed together."

"I think Gin-san would murder me on the spot," Tetsuya replied in a warning tone, adding a belated, "Aizen-sama."

"And…you are more afraid of Gin than you are of me?" Aizen purred.

He is baiting me, Tetsuya realized, Perhaps Gin-san isn't really so busy after all.

"You have found a use for me and made a place for me," Tetsuya reasoned, "however, Gin-san has neither reason to trust me nor to tolerate my presence. Either one of you could decide to kill me on a moment's notice, but Gin-san already has a reason."

"Ah, these feelings you are so sure he has for me?"

"Gin-san does love you, but you are not an easy man to love," Tetsuya observed as he lowered himself between Aizen's parted thighs, "any more than Gin-san is."

"And what about you, Tetsuya?" Aizen asked, capturing him under the chin as he hovered over his captor's inflamed penis, "It seems all too easy for one to fall in love with a gentle soul like yours."

He laughed at the instant flush that his words brought to the half-noble's cheeks and throat.

"Do you find that so hard to believe, Tetsuya?"

"Of you? Yes," Tetsuya reasoned, "A man such as you has no need for someone like me. In fact, I know that you pride yourself on not trusting or needing anyone."

"No, I do not need you and I will not trust you, however, since I have no desire for those things, I can fully appreciate this time with you. Come, now that you have comforted and relaxed me, pleasure me, Tetsuya, and I will show you new heights of pleasure you have never experienced!"

Graceful fingertips tickled Tetsuya's chin, then guided the younger man downward. Without hesitation, Tetsuya latched on to Aizen's thick, leaking member, using warm lips, a treasuring tongue and little swirls of teasing reiatsu to heighten the elder man's pleasure. Aizen groaned contentedly, laying back and sinking his fingers into the half-noble's wavy hair, panting as the lovely feeling around his gently thrusting cock intensified.

But there's a reason he's so good at this, isn't there?

He wasn't sure what brought on the little twinge of mingled anger and sympathy the thought conjured in him. It wasn't like him to care about other people getting hurt, and Tetsuya's hurt was certainly in the past. He studied the younger man's face more closely, reading the forced calm, the careful obedience, the signs of submissiveness in what was certainly a daunting situation. A swift, deadly fury formed in his chest and he dragged Tetsuya up onto his knees so that the half-noble straddled his body. Confusion filled Tetsuya's blue eyes and fear crept onto his face.

"Aizen-sama, did I…do something wrong?" Tetsuya asked warily.

He's trembling.

He thinks I'm angry with him, but I was angry thinking that Gin and I are just abusers to him. Why? We all know that what is happening between us is a matter of some kind of odd fate. While Tetsuya accepts that it is part of my fate and Gin's, he seems oddly intent on leaving himself out of consideration. Perhaps it is borne of being that other man's slave, but it does not please me to be placed on the same level as that noble snake.

I should have killed Kuchiki Orochi.

"Aizen-sama?"

He gave Tetsuya a gentler smile.

"Let me ask you something, Tetsuya. Have you ever desired sex with anyone?"

The question seemed to take the younger man aback for a moment and Tetsuya gazed down at him silently.

"I have noticed that, with the exception of the night the hollow vamp attacked you, you seem not to become aroused easily, if at all, during our lovemaking. Are you, perhaps, asexual?"

Amusement filled the elder man's expression at the deep flush that flooded Tetsuya's pale face and throat.

"I…no, I just…"

"Look at me, Tetsuya," Aizen directed me, "Am I attractive to you?"

"Aizen-sama is a beautiful man," Tetsuya said readily.

"But do you desire me?"

Tetsuya's rosy cheeks paled at the challenge and he faltered, trying to form an answer.

"Has anyone ever just allowed you to decide what you want to do with them?"

Tetsuya's breath caught and his body shook softly.

"No."

He started to lower his eyes, but Aizen's hand caught him under the chin and held it gently, but firmly. Tetsuya shuddered uncertainly.

"Go ahead, then," Aizen invited him, "If I am attractive to you and you want me, pleasure me in any way you desire…with the exception of penetrating me with anything but your fingers."

The scared look Tetsuya gave him in response brought another unexpected twinge of sympathy.

"Or perhaps, this," he offered, turning aside and opening the nightstand drawer.

He withdrew a measure of cloth and reached up to tie it around the half-noble's head, covering his eyes.

"Instead of worrying about what anyone wants from you, just focus on your senses…all but what you see, of course. I want to hear about what you sense and what it says to you."

"What it says to me?" Tetsuya repeated softly, reaching up to brush his fingers against the cloth of the blindfold.

"Yes."

Tetsuya drew in a shaky breath and let it go slowly as he let the tension seep from his poised body.

"When everything gets quiet in this room, I hear the very soft ticking of the clock that's on the wall, just over the door. It's a gentle, steadying sound and it makes me feel calm."

"Very good. Please continue."

The half-noble took another calming breath.

"Even with my eyes covered, I feel the presence of some of the things in this room. They take up space and they feel like they have a sort of energy to them…the bed that feels like a heavy weight, the bay window that lets the sunlight or moonlight spill into the room. Even not seeing, I know the colors are earthy and so are the scents in this place. The scents here are hungry and dangerous and even though my own scent has joined them, it feels overshadowed, like it's about to be eaten. I know that the temperature is carefully set to be comfortably warm, but even so, there is a constant chill inside because even if I am safe in the moment, the moments here pass swiftly and I am constantly having to fight for more moments, more light, more ticks of the clock, more breaths."

"Your desires…"

"I want to survive and I want to go home, even though I know that isn't possible anymore. If you did just let me go home, it is known that I disappeared into Hueco Mundo and my pregnancy would be discovered. The obvious conclusion would be that I was raped by a hollow or an enemy and I would be forced to undergo testing that would identify you and Gin as fathers of my child. I would then be forced to have the pregnancy terminated and I would undergo questioning, then quite possibly a trial to decide if I was raped or if I was compliant of my own will. I am a half-noble and I am already hated by many who would be my accusers. How am I supposed to be, Aizen-sama? How would anyone be?"

"Hmm, how indeed?" Aizen mused, considering for a few long moments before nudging Tetsuya aside and sitting up.

He reached up to rub his chin, blinking slowly, then gave Tetsuya a little nod and a bracing smile.

"I think I understand."

"Aizen-sama!" Tetsuya exclaimed anxiously, starting to tug at the blindfold, only to feel a warm hand stop his and slide in to into it, bringing him to his feet.

"It's all right. I'm not angry. I just want to take you somewhere else. Come."

Tetsuya shivered, but allowed himself to be led quietly out of the room. The elder man continued to hold onto his hand, guiding him down what he judged to be the hallway he'd passed through on his way into the living area. They turned several times and Tetsuya could feel the chill eyes of the hollow guards he knew stood watch all along the way. Finally, they came to a staircase and began to climb up in what seemed to Tetsuya to be a long spiral, indicating a tower, likely one of the ones he had seen from the outside. He heard more footsteps joining theirs and sensed that Gin had joined them, but as usual, he couldn't sense the silver-haired man's emotions or intent. A short time later, Aizen stopped him and Tetsuya felt the presence of a heavy barrier, then the sense of it opening to admit them. They stepped into what felt to Tetsuya to be a large room, then the leader of the hollows stripped away the blindfold, allowing to see their environs.

The room they were in was spacious, set at the top of one of Las Noches's towers, with floor to ceiling windows looking out into the desert on all sides. The floor was carpeted, with marble around the perimeter that looked perfect for gentle walking and moongazing. The room was fully opened with no partitions, save for the bathroom and closet near the place where they had entered. The furnishings smelled new and the colors were pale, but not the stark white of a hospital or medical setting.

"These are to be your quarters for the remainder of your stay in Las Noches," Aizen explained.

"You're kicking him outta our room, eh?" Gin inquired, his tone curious.

"No," Aizen answered, keeping his eyes on Tetsuya and watching closely as the half-noble studied the room, then took a tentative step away from his captors, "Tetsuya will still come to our room for infusions and to see to our pleasures, but nothing he does not choose will happen in this room."

He gave Tetsuya a little smile and nod.

"As you see, there is a strong barrier around this room, which states clearly that you are a prisoner, but you are a person of value to me. You will have an attendant to care for your personal needs, as well as a physician to monitor your pregnancy. I think that the openness and your ability to control the lighting and temperature will help you to feel more comfortable. You will have access to entertainments and may have company when you wish it. There is a kitchen area and your attendant can bring what you need and cook for you if you wish it. If you need Gin or me, your attendant will inform us."

He paused, exchanging glances with Gin as Tetsuya stepped further into the room, first walking around the edges, then stopping to look back at Aizen and Gin. For the first time, he seemed to relax completely and his smile was grateful.

"Thank you, Aizen-sama," he said sincerely, "This does relieve some of my worries. I do still feel sad that I can't return home, but…it is good to have my own space."

Aizen nodded.

"Feel free to make alterations for your comfort, but I will warn you not to leave except with your attendant. As a prisoner, you are not allowed to go outside this room alone, but within it, you are free to do as you wish."

Aizen slipped a warm hand into Gin's and led him back to the door while Tetsuya turned back to look out at the wide expanse of the Hueco Mundo desert and the quiet crescent moon that watched over it. Somehow, without any trigger that he could explain, Tetsuya felt a little swell of hopefulness returning.

"There now," Aizen purred, squeezing Gin's hand, "Come Gin. I think we all can use some rest. Good night, Tetsuya. I will summon you for the next infusion."

Tetsuya watched silently as the two left, then he took a steadying breath, thinking quietly.

This is better, much better. I can relax a little here and consider my options. Maybe I can't escape yet and maybe I can't stop what's going to happen…but given all that has happened and that I am still alive, there is still something important I can do.

I only need to figure out what that is…