Chapter 12

Sansa Stark POV

I'm trying to make Arya feel better after her breakup with Gendry, but I've been so busy with cheer and homework that it's been hard to balance my time. I still haven't heard back from my college applications, but it's only early October at this point. I probably won't hear back until at least later this month.

I'm hanging out with Arya in our room after my cheer practice, but I'm doing homework at the same time. I want to be someone she can talk to since I know she's struggling.

"How have you been feeling?" I ask her. "I know things have been hard lately."

"It is what it is," she says. "This is why I didn't want to date anyone for so long. I didn't want to have to go through feeling all this stuff."

"I get it, and I'm really sorry," I say. "I wish I could say something better."

"It's fine, I appreciate you trying," she says. There's a pause. "Do you like anyone right now?"

"No," I say. "I told you, I'm pretty much giving up on dating for the forseeable future."

"Yeah, I remember you saying that," she says. "I just didn't know if you were still sticking to that or if you had met someone."

"If I met someone, I would've told you," I say, laughing. "I can't imagine meeting anyone right now who would make me not feel grossed out by guys anymore."

"Do you really feel grossed out by all guys?"

"Not exactly," I say. "It's more that the thought of dating someone grosses me out."

"I'm sorry," Arya says. "I guess that surprises me since you've always been more romantic and girly."

"Can you blame me after what's happened with me and dating?"

"No, I can't blame you," she says. "And I'm sorry all that happened, it makes sense that you would just want to be single."

"I just want to hang out with my friends and enjoy my last year of high school," I say. "I don't need a guy to do that."

"I wish I felt that way," Arya says. "I just miss Gendry so much. God, I never wanted to be this girl."

"It's okay, what you're feeling is normal. It doesn't make you weak."

"I didn't say that," she says. "But thanks."

"I said it doesn't, Arya," I say. "Sorry."

"I just am not sure why Gendry couldn't keep sneaking around with me," she says. "We did that before."

"But he didn't know the extent of how much mom and dad were unaware, right?"

"Yeah, I guess that's true," Arya says. "I just wish he wasn't so protective of me, I can make decisions for myself."

"He's looking out for you," I say. "Not all guys would do that."

"I know," she says. "It just seems a little overboard."

"I was going to invite Myrcella for a sleepover soon," I say after a pause. "Would you want to hang out with us, or would it be too awkward?"

"Why would it be awkward?"

"Because she's Gendry's cousin, and she lives with him now," I say. "I just wanted to check with you."

"That's fine," she says. "I love Myrcella, I hope she's doing better living with Gendry and Podrick instead of her asshole family."

"I think she is, she seems like it," I say. "I just want her to sleep over and take her mind off things, we haven't gotten to hang lately out as much as we used to."

"Cool, sounds like fun."

I hope I didn't upset Arya too much by bringing up how she feels about Gendry, at least she still wants to hang out with me and Myrcella. I just know she probably feels weak for being sad about Gendry, even if she won't admit it. That's how she is, she's always seen love as a weakness. I believe it's something beautiful, and I hope I can find it one day.

Jaime Lannister POV

I miss Brienne. I know we wouldn't exactly be able to see each other much if we were together, but I miss talking to her and being able to look forward to seeing her. Cersei and I may never fully separate from each other, but her being with Bronn now is making me miss Brienne even more than I already did.

Cersei and I haven't been talking much lately. As much anger and frustration I feel towards her right now, I still miss her. I miss talking with her, and waking up with her, and doing other stuff with her. I'll never fully be over her and I'll never meet someone else that I feel so passionately for, I've accepted that.

Cersei walks in after work, it's already almost midnight so she must have been closing. I'm in my room, so luckily I didn't have to cross paths with her when she came in. She's usually not in a great mood after work, as if she's ever really in a great mood.

I walk out to get some water, and of course that's when Cersei walks out of her room to go to the kitchen. "Hey," I say, trying to be nonchalant and not cause any more tension. "How was work?"

"Fine," she says as we both start to walk to the kitchen. "How was your day?"

"It was okay," I say. "I just studied mainly."

We walk into the kitchen and she starts pouring a glass of wine. She's been drinking more when she gets home from work now because her job is stressing her out, so that's concerning.

"How's Bronn?" I ask. I feel awkward asking, but a sick part of me wants to know. I can't handle knowing, and I can't handle not knowing.

"He's good," she says. "We're dating, but it's still not serious."

"You're officially dating?"

"Yeah," she says. "We had sex." She's so chill about it, I hate it. God, I want to vomit. She heads to her room, and I get myself a glass of water and head to my room.

That conversation is making me want to call Brienne, I still have her number. I just feel so dumb, like I'm a loser for crawling back to her. She probably thinks I am, and I don't blame her. I'm still going to call her. I just want to hear her voice, even if she shoots me down.

"Hello?" She says after I dial her number and she answers. She sounds really confused. She probably is, she probably didn't expect to hear from me.

"Brienne?" I say. "It's Jaime. How are you? Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine," she says, still sounding weirded out. "Did you need something?"

"I just… I wanted to hear your voice," I say. "I've been thinking a lot about you lately."

"Okay, why?" She asks. "Did something happen with Cersei?" I hate that she knows that's pretty much the only reason i'd call her.

"Yeah," I say after a long pause. "She's seeing someone."

"Sorry," Brienne says. She doesn't sound very sorry. "I know that's probably rough for you."

"It is, I'm honestly not really sure how to handle it. It's hard because we live together."

There's this long pause of silence. I really don't want to hang up, I want to keep talking to her and maybe see if there's a chance we can start something up again at some point.

"Are you calling just because you don't have Cersei now?" Brienne finally asks. "Because I'm not just going to be sitting around waiting when there's no one else around."

"I know," I say. "I just wanted to see how you were. I totally get it if you don't ever want to speak to me again."

"It's not that, I still care about you," she says. "I just don't want to be the one you rely on when you need a backup plan."

"I get that," I say. "I wish I could fix what I did, I wish I could go back and change it. I'm starting to think maybe Cersei wasn't worth it."

"Anyone could've told you that," she says. "Listen, I'm not judging. I respected your choice, I just want you to know you won't always have me to crawl back to."

"I know," I say. "But I did want to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Do you think maybe we could try again?" I ask. I'm so nervous. "I shouldn't have let you go like I did."

Brienne sighs, I can tell she doesn't know what to say. "I want to," she says. "Trust me, I still have feelings for you. I just don't know if it's a good idea for me mentally after what happened."

"I understand that," I say. "I just thought I'd ask."

"I have an idea," she says. "Can I run it by you?"

"Of course."

"What if we keep talking and see how we feel around Thanksgiving when you're back home?" She says. "That way we can give ourselves time, and there won't be any hard feelings if one of us decides against by then."

That actually isn't a bad idea, she's really smart to think of something like that.

"That sounds good," I say. "I can do that."

"Okay cool," she says. "I'll talk to you later."

"Cool, bye."

We hang up, that actually went much better than I anticipated. I feel really good about this, I'm glad Brienne and I can work towards mending things between us and have an adult conversation about it. It feels like we're actually moving forward and getting somewhere together as adults.

Our conversations have always been way calmer and more mature than any conversations I have with Cersei. If she gets mad at me for trying to get back with Brienne, she has no right to. I don't even care at this point.

Jon Snow Stark POV

I'm trying not to think about my dad and whatever he's planning on telling me too much. If I think about it for too long, it'll keep me up at night with anxiety. I won't know before Thanksgiving, so I might as well try and keep my mind off it until then.

I'm studying at home while Dany's at work when my phone rings, I look and see that it's Sam. We've texted off and on, but it's been a while since we've talked on the phone. I hope everything is okay.

"Hey, Sam," I say when I answer. "What's up? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," he says. "I just wanted to see how you were. I miss talking to you."

"I miss you too," I say. "Sorry I haven't been reaching out much. Dany and I both got jobs and things have been much more hectic."

"Don't apologize," he says. "I haven't been reaching out much either."

"But you're a father," I say. "I feel like you have a better excuse."

Sam chuckles. "When are you coming to town next?" He asks. "We should see each other."

"I'm not coming back until Thanksgiving break," I say. "I was in town for Labor Day weekend, but I barely had any time to do anything. Plus, there was a lot of family drama so I was pretty preoccupied with that."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I say. "I'll tell you more about it when we have more time to talk."

"I was thinking maybe we could have a boys' weekend soon," Sam says. "I want to see your new place."

"I like that idea," I say. "That sounds like fun, but will you be able to do that with work, school, and the baby?"

"I can request off for a weekend, I have enough money saved up," he says. "I already talked to Gilly about it before asking you."

That's so sweet, I love how considerate he is of her. "Oh, okay," I say. "I'll have to check with Dany since she lives here too and it's a small apartment but I'm down. Maybe we can invite Podrick and Gendry."

"Yeah, that sounds fun," Sam says. I hear something in the background as he's talking. "That's my son, I should go."

"Okay, talk to you later," I say. "I'll let you know what Dany says."

"Okay, bye."

We hang up and I continue studying. A couple hours later, Dany walks in. She immediately walks into the kitchen and starts making some dinner. "How was work?" I ask her.

"It was fine," she says. "Tiring, but I don't mind it."

"Is Cersei getting any better?"

"Meh," she shrugs. "She could be worse, but she's still Cersei."

I chuckle at that. "That's fair," I say. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"What is it?"

"I talked to Sam earlier," I say. "He wanted to come by and see the apartment in a couple weeks, we were talking about maybe having a boys weekend."

"Oh, really?" Dany asks. "That sounds like fun."

"Would that be okay with you?" I ask. "I said maybe I'd invite Gendry and Podrick, but I wanted to ask you first."

"I appreciate that," she says. "Yeah, I don't mind. I can stay with Cersei since we'll probably have to work. We can just ride together."

"Only if you're sure," I say. "I don't want you to have to stay with Cersei if it'll stress you out or make you uncomfortable."

"I can handle it for a night or two," she says. "I want you to be able to have your friends over, I know you don't get as much time with them as you used to."

"Thank you," I say. "You really are the best."

She smiles at me and finishes making her dinner. We eat together and watch a show, it's a nice evening together. I like having these relaxing moments with her, especially now that we have less time together.

"I really need to take a shower," Dany says when the show ends. "I feel gross from work." She starts to get up and head to the bathroom.

"Can I join you?" I ask sheepishly. She turns to me and smiles, looking suprised.

"Sure," she says. "Be my guest."

We end up having sex in the shower, it's been a while since we've done something like that. I still love Dany so much, even after over two years together. I love that we're getting into a routine. Everyone said living together would be a very difficult adjustment, but it's been much easier than I expected. I guess it just feels really natural with her.