"Tell me who," she heard a cold voice. "Tell me who and I'll make sure they don't get to take a breath tomorrow."
"'We'll' make sure," she heard another.
But she could not speak. She felt numb.
"Breathe Granger," someone said to her.
No matter how much she tried to not let the word affect her, the reaction of everyone on it being carved into her arm made her relive the fact that what happened to her wasn't normal. She couldn't help but recall the pain of going through that torture, that fear, that vulnerability, that hopelessness. What happened to her, the horror of never forgetting how she had that vile word become a part of her body also made her once again bring forward all her childhood insecurities, from the times of crooked hair and bushy unmaintainted hair. She wasn't vain, but would anyone ever be able to look past it and love her body the way it was now, accept and love 'her' the way she was now. So many scars, big and small, external and internal. So much damage, so much trauma, so much of a past she could not share with anyone.
"Breathe Granger," someone said again.
No, no she had to accept that it may as well be impossible. Didn't matter, she had Teddy to look after in any case. No one would accept someone with that kind of a responsibility in any case, how does anything else matter.
And she wouldn't let her fear of that day overcome her strengths.
Hermione Granger had survived that day, that horrible horrible bitch was dead once, she'll make sure she is again. "Neville will live and grow up with his parents. Sirius will be there to be the perfect Godfather to Harry. Bellatrix Lestrange will never lay a shadow on their or Hermione Granger's life again." She promised herself once again.
"Hermione, you need to stop thinking and breathe." the other voice said.
She took a deliberate breath and inhaled the soothing air, still free of the death and devastation of her previous life.
Finally she found the energy to speak, "Thank you. Don't worry, you won't need to kill them, I'll myself make sure they are by the end of this war."
"That's better. You okay?" she heard Snape ask in concern.
She nodded.
"Why did they do this to you? I have never seen anyone act so..so brutally, even in Death Eaters!" Regulus asked her.
"They aren't battle or Azkaban worn yet. And I was a special case. They needed something from me, something they didn't get. I got the last laugh though. Helped me rob Gringotts," she said with a deliberate forced smile, trying to lighten the suffocating darkness that loomed over them.
"Ha ha very funny," Snape quipped.
She gave him an amused look.
Regulus chipped in before Snape could get over the shocked look on his face, "Oh no tell me you didn't! No one can rob Gringotts! How in Merlin's name did you manage that?!"
She smiled sadly, closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. "Story for another time", she said and chuckled when they groaned.
James Potter might be a git to her but she couldn't murder him if she wanted her best friend to live.
She was just going to stay far away from him lest she hex him within an inch of his life. "Harry & Ron might have found that funny," she thought as she felt a tear rebel out of her closed eyes.
….…
James Potter had never felt so horrible in his life. Not even when Sirius almost got Snape killed by Moony. This time he knew it was entirely his fault . He had never in his wildest imagination thought he would see what he did on Granger's arm. He had been so sure she was hiding the dark mark, what he saw was the polar opposite of it. He still couldn't believe it! There were letters literally carved into her skin by someone! Someone had taken time to actually brand her with that word! How could anyone do that! Why would anyone go to such lengths? Could some be so depraved so as to torture anyone like that!
Merlin how did she survive that! Such torture! And she survived! They weren't able to break her spirit! She was still fighting! And he blamed her of being a death eater! Merlin he felt horrible!
"Dumbledore said she was homeschooled. He said his enemies might hurt her if they knew of their link. Do you think he wasn't just referring to an imaginary scenario? Do you think it actually happened? Someone tortured her to get back at him?" James asked out loud.
"If they did, he did not know. He had the same look of shock on his face as the rest of us when you…. ." replied Padfoot.
"I feel sick," James admitted. "I can't believe I did that to her. She clearly had not even told Dumbledore. Merlin! I put it on display for everyone to see. Someone just Avada me!"
"You need to apologise to her Prongs. You went too far." Moony said.
"'Far' was last time, this time it was beyond far," Padfoot noted soberly.
"I know, I know. I will. But is it going be enough? I called her a Death Eater and a whore! I can't even face anyone else from the meeting, I don't know how I'll face her," he said palming his face in his hands. "Mom and Dad are furious! Moody has been treating me like a personal punching bag in the trainee sessions!"
"Lily isn't talking to you either," Moony mentioned with raised eyebrows.
"Yeah, that too!"
"It doesn't bother you as much does it?"
"Ofcourse it does! I feel miserable about what I said and did!" He protested.
"I meant the fact that Lily doesn't talk to you, hasn't talked to you in a while.
Is everything okay between you guys?"
"Oh! I don't know Moony," he sighed. "It's like, like the passion has fizzled out you know. I still care about her, but of-late she seems more like a friend rather than a lover. I have a feeling she feels the same.
With the war looming in front of us, we both have been hesitant to act on it. You want to hold on to whatever and whoever you have in your life when tomorrow is so unpredictable.
However ever since Granger came up with all that information and Dumbledore's increased confidence in our win in the near future, I guess it feels different when there seems to be an end in sight to all this mayhem. I'm reevaluating things."
"That was deep Prongs!" Sirius said soberly. "I hope you figure it out soon!"
Then added with a smirk, "It's weird hearing you talk such mature talk! Freaking me out I tell you!" And just like that he lightened the mood, but the heaviness in James's chest continued.
…..
A week had passed and James Potter was still unable to get Hermione Granger's address. He searched the ministry records whenever possible but couldn't find anyone by her name registered as a British resident. Guess her primary residence was abroad.
He begged Sirius to contact Regulus for her current address but he received a short reply stating "No way in hell am I telling you that. Haven't you troubled her enough!"
He asked Lily if she could ask Snivellus but she just gave him a look and walked away. In hindsight he should probably not have used the name "Snivellus" while talking to Lily. He knew she still had a soft spot for him and always hated that name.
Finally he decided to make the trip to Hogwarts to apologise to Dumbledore and beg him to let him know where she lived so he could apologise in person. Sirius, the good friend that he was, decided to accompany him for moral support.
"Do you think he'll accept my apology?" James voiced out his concern.
"It's Dumbledore we are talking about, he was always unfairly fair to us," Sirius chuckled.
"Yeah. But that was before I insulted his Goddaughter."
"Good point. You wanna get some liquid courage before we go there?" Sirius asked while they walked through Hogsmeade apparition point towards Hogwarts.
"One Firewhisky won't hurt I guess."
"Good man, let's go to Three broomsticks."
"No it's going to be jam packed with kids, it being a Hogsmeade weekend for the Hogwarts students. Let's go to Hogs Head instead.
"Okay"
….
"Is it me or does this place look cleaner than what it used to when we came here last?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah, couldn't find a single spider crawling about yet."
"Hey Abe! Two Firewhiskies please," Sirius asked the barkeep/owner.
Abe looked up from the bar and the look he gave them was pure venom.
"You are not welcome here anymore. Leave."
"What? Why?" Padfoot asked but James suddenly realised why and his heart sank.
"Don't care to explain. Leave." Aberforth Dumbledore roared.
And before they could turn to leave, he heard the voice he so desperately sought, "Hey Abe do you need any help out here? Teddy is sleeping and I thought…"
She stopped abruptly when she saw them standing besides the bar.
"Never mind I'm going back upstairs, lest I murder someone in your bar."
As she turned to leave, James sprung into action. "Granger wait!"
She turned and had her wand pointed at his neck at such a fast pace, he didn't even realise how she did that!
"Do you still have anything left to say to me? Hasn't it been enough already?
Didn't I make myself clear, leave me the hell alone! Feel free to have whatever opinions you want but just stay out of my life!"
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Snape and I have a history and he just manages to bring out the worst out of me. It's still not an excuse and I feel terrible about, about… " he stammered.
"About displaying my insecurities in front of everyone! About exposing to the world how I have been carved into and having everyone look at me with pity in their eyes, something I abhor!" she shouted.
"Yes, no, I mean yes I'm sorry for doing that but you are wrong. Yes everyone feels horrible that it happened to you but they don't pity you. Having something like that happen to anyone would have broken them, but not you. You have managed to keep the fire in you alive, you haven't let them win. It's not something to pity but something to admire in you.
I still feel horrible that I took away your choice for privacy, I'm so so very sorry."
"Guess he does have some redeeming qualities," he heard Aberforth murmer.
Granger sighed. "I can not forgive you yet Potter, but I appreciate your apology. Now stay out of my life." And she went back upstairs before he could say anything to stop her.
"Did she live here?" he thought in surprise.
"Does she live here? At Hogs Head?" Sirius asked what he was thinking.
"And that is your business how exactly?" Abe gave him a cold look. It was at times like these when you could see the resemblance between the Dumbledore brothers clearly. You could feel the danger emitting from a mere look.
"Just asking," Sirius backtracked sheepishly.
Abe turned towards James. "She is family. She has a big heart. I don't. Get out of my pub."
"Oh ah yes ofcourse," he stammered once again. "I really am sorry," he felt the need to repeat.
He really was an idiot. Someone earning such protectiveness from both the Dumbledore brothers couldn't be anyone less than extraordinary. He had led his impulsiveness to make him act real stupid.
"I have to make this right somehow," he thought as he and Sirius went out of the pub.
…
"Well that went well. We didn't get the Firewhisky but the reason for having that Firewhisky in the first place ended up in our lap so it's a win I would say. Now you don't need to go beg Professor Dumbledore for eternity."
"Yeah, I think I would have chickened out in any case. If Aberforth Dumbledore is so pissed off with me, imagine what Professor Dumbledore would be like."
"Good point," Sirius agreed.
"I'm not really going to be easily forgiven, am I?" James sighed.
"What do you expect Prongs? You kind of messed up big time. But I think your speech won you some brownie points so atleast she won't kick your ass like she did at the meeting."
"Don't remind me! It was the most humiliating experience of my life!"
"Yeah, it was, I got second hand embarrassment just by looking at you."
"How do you think she got so good at duelling?" he wondered out loud.
"No idea buddy! But seeing the kind of information she got for the Order and the kind of torture she seems to have undergone, I'm guessing she had her share of experience."
"Hmm." He said soberly.
"Hey Padfoot… " he said after a while.
"Yeah?"
"Do we know anyone by the name of Teddy?"
"Don't think so," he answered as they stepped into the apparition point.
…
Next day Hermione had an obscenely large bouquet of white roses delivered for her at Hogs Head.
It came with a note saying "Since you have very few reasons to forgive an idiot."