Initiative 2030
Patriots II
"You can't fire me?!" Diamond yelped as he stood in the Washington DC headquarters of the Patriots team.
"Yes we can, actually," Thin, the temporary leader, noted. "You were MIA when the team was hunting Black Widow, AND when the former X-Man, Havok, attacked."
"I was on vacation. And the second time I was filming a promo for a energy drink. Do you know how much that pays?!" Diamond protested.
"Patriot missions and superhuman emergencies take priority," Think said flatly, "you signed contracts promising you'd be available."
"I..." Diamond scowled.
"Look, clearly your priority isn't being a super hero," Thin shrugged, "in a way, we're doing you a favor cutting you loose."
"This is bullshit," Diamond cursed.
Frost Bite, lingering nearby, smiled at him coldly as the human sized frost giant said, "Take a shot at her. I DARE you."
Diamond gave her a hate filled gaze, but backed off from where he was looming over Thin. "I'm calling my lawyer," he threatened as he walked out.
"Good luck," Liberteen called out to him, the spunky young woman hanging out with Frost Bite as usual.
"Thanks," Thin addressed Frost Bite. She added, "I didn't think he'd actually try something, but I knew he'd be pissed."
"He is a coward," Frost Bite noted, "but even a worm turns, yes?"
Liberteen nodded, "For a guy who's nearly invulnerable, he sure avoided danger."
"Not everyone with powers is suited to be a hero," Thin noted. She made a face, "Crap, I just realized something..."
"Hmm?" Frost Bite looked questioningly.
"With him and Ms America off as a Defender, we're going to have to recuit new members," Thin groaned.
"How bad could it be?" Liberteen offered.
"Ugh, don't say that," Thin sighed.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I am.. the Battling Bantam!" the man with a chicken headpiece and boxing gloves declared.
"What," Whiz muttered.
"... do you have any powers and abilities?" Thin had to ask.
"I'm an excellent boxer and refuse to quit," Bantam declared.
"NEXT," Liberteen sighed.
As a publicity stunt, the Patriots were having open auditions to add members to the team. Ordered by the President herself. Sadly it was NOT going well.
"Uhm," the somewhat goth woman smiled, "my name is Zoe Laveau, my codename is Zombie. I'm a zombie."
"What," Red Raven blinked.
"Seriously?" Thin asked.
"Just a sec," the woman gestured, and suddenly she was still DRESSED as a goth, but was a grey skinned, gaunt zombie.
"Fuck me," Frost Bite blurted.
"Sorry, I have a girlfriend," Zombie smirked. She added, "My powers include not dying, enhanced strength and durability."
"How strong?" Liberteen asked curiously.
"About two tons," Zombie admitted, "just a bit beyond peak human."
Thin nodded thoughtfully, "Leave your contact info, we'll get back to you."
Once she left Whiz looked at Thin, "Seriously?"
"She actually sounds REASONABLY useful," Thin defended herself.
"I suppose," Red Raven admitted.
The robot stroke forward, with a roundish head and a backpack FULL of varioius weapons. "These are the tryouts, yes?" he asked.
"Ah, yes," Frost Bite blinked at him.
"Name is Death's Head. Freelance Peacekeeping Agent," he explained calmly.
"SO COOL," Liberteen breathed out.
"Just identify target, will bring in for a price," Death's Head shrugged.
"We're actually superheroes," Thin had to point out.
"You do this sort of thing for FREE?" Death's Head asked them, He shook his head, "Bad business, that."
The group watched him stride off.
"Considering how heavily armed he is, should we really be letting him wander around?" Red Raven asked.
"I heard he's fought the HULK. I'm not screwing with him," Thin noted.
"Agreed," Whiz sighed.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"No luck?" Barbara Monroe aka Ms America asked as she greeted her girlfriend, Thin.
Olivia Dickson shook her head wryly, "Nope, other than Zombie. And I can't see Gyrich agreeing to letting her join."
"Seriously?" Barbara laughed. "You said that you had that dude Razorback show up too," she remembered, shaking her head.
"And a bunch of costumed types with no powers," Barbara agreed. "And a couple who I'm SURE were sent by Stark and his teams."
The two poured cups of coffee, as both were on call and couldn't do alcohol.
"Do you want to eat in, or go out for dinner?' Barbara asked cheerfully.
"Let's cook something," Olivia suggested, "we don't get to that often."
"Fair enough," Barbara agreed.
Later that evening after a full dinner they were relaxing in the living room.
"I'm glad that thing with Black Widow turned out well," Olivia mused.
"Have I thanked you again for helping out?" Barbara asked.
"You have, but you're welcome to again," Olivia chuckled. "Why take her to Venus's, though?" she asked curiously.
"She IS the Goddess of Love, more or less," Barbara noted. "I figured she might defuse the situation for me."
"I suppose," Olivia agreed.
"And it DID work," Barbara added teasingly.
"Or she already pulled off her main goal," Olivia pointed out, "getting scans of Liberteen."
"Point," Barbara sighed.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"What do you mean, it's legal?" Diamond protested.
Lois London, his agent, sighed as the black haired woman said, "I warned you that they had a 'fire at will' clause in there."
"Still!" Diamond said.
"Plus, they can argue you were fired with cause," Lois pointed out. "You HAVE dodged fights at times, you know."
"I'm an ACTOR!" Diamond protested.
Lois shook her head, "You're a influencer and product shill, don't delude yourself."
Diamond sat back, sighing. "Can we take them to court?" he asked.
"In my opinion, not successfully," Lois said bluntly. "We can ask your lawyer, obviously."
Diamond made a face, knowing that Lois understood contract law pretty well. "Okay, how do we want to handle this?" he asked meekly.
"We'll present it to the public as you breaking away and seeking new opportunities," Lois decided. "I'll contact the Patriots PR person, they'll play along."
"Really?" Diamond looked dubious.
"Firing you looks bad for everyone," Lois said confidently.
Diamond puffed out a breath, "Okay. So, did you hear back about the part I was trying for?"
"No luck on that, but there's that body wash that wants you," Lois noted. "So Clean You'll Shin like DIAMOND!" she quoted.
"God that's awful," Diamond sighed.
"Pays the bills, kid," Lois shrugged.
To be continued...
Notes: Battling Bantam first appeared in Captain America.
Zoe Laveau is from Strange Academy.
Death's Head was originally a Marvel UK character.
Razorback was a Spider-man character, and met She-hulk.
I was tempted to have Death's Head join, but his speech pattern is a bitch to write, yes?