A compilation of crappy crackfic oneshots made by your's truly! Kiddos, pack your bleach and mind soap, be prepared to claw out your eyes and most importantly- keep your hands in the vehicle at all times! Murphy's Law is your guidebook for navigating this land of Bonionia having too much time on her hands. Contains some minor sexual jokes and mild language.

Dark and fluffy at the same time. '"So, Princess?" Zant laughed darkly, advancing on Zelda and Link. "What is your descision? Surrender and live? Or defy me and die?"' Zant x Zelda oneshot.

The boys are back in Bowtow.

Funny. First, he was a boy in the body of a man, and now he was a man in the body of a boy. A series of drabbles, post Ocarina of Time.

After Calamity Ganon was sealed, something was wrong with Vah Ruta. When Link goes to investigate, he finds Mipha's spirit has a request. Can he fulfill it? How will it change everything? This story is Post BotW. I don't consider it to have spoilers, but depending on who you are asking it may. Lipha. Very Lipha. (Link x Mipha)

Set several years after Link has defeated Ganon, Link has an important question for Malon.

She went to the Silver Rupee to prove to her friends she was ready to move on. Little did she know her friend's husband had called in a favor with the owner to keep an eye on her. Zelda x Link AU

It wasn't love. It wasn't hate. It was something that flowed much deeper, down to the roots of Hyrule and beyond. Two rivers, that however far apart, will always converge together as one. BOTW pre-game.

A collection of vignettes. Before the mess, everything was different. Ever since she was placed under his care, Yuga would do anything for Hilda. Anything she wished. Not in chronological order.

The Queen of Hyrule has had a long and tiring day. Unfortunately for her, her husband wants to know what happened, and won't rest until she tells him. Zelda x Volga oneshot.

4 months after Heroes of Hyrule. Link and Zach have defeated Ganan and now live at the castle. However Zach feels a dark pain on his scar he got from Ganon. What will happen?

[Oneshot] Saria knows her time with Link is coming to a close, and she wants to cherish every moment. To this end, she decides to let Link in on a little secret. (Based on the short story "Before You Leave" by Mira-LoZ)

Link saves a red Dodongo whilst traveling around Holodrum to return order to the seasons and he returns the favor in a special way

They say the culmination of a journey comes in the moment the goal is accomplished. Every struggle is justified, every wound disregarded, and no price not worth paying. This is that moment, stretched across time in the eternal fight of the Hero. (Oneshot)

Sometimes the princess and hero need to take a break from their many and varied duties. Fortunately, they have some friends to make sure they do just that. A post-Calamity tale.

When five different Links from all over Hyrule's history end up in the era of the wild...this story happens. Includes cliché nicknames, interdimensional rifts, and a few games of I Spy. The summary is much worse than the story.

"He wouldn't meet her eyes, he couldn't. If he dared to gaze into those blue eyes he would break, and the world around him was already cracking like ice on a river"

During the 100 years Link was asleep, Link dreams about what lies ahead for him (note that I wrote this before the game is released...)

Iink and friend go looking for his dad,s sword i

Three hundred years have passed since Hyrule became rebuilt into an industrial age. Link is the adopted Gerurdo daughter of a blacksmith. The Children of Ganon Pose a threat to Hyrule and hold the key to her past.

Why lie about what this is. It's a straightforward jerk off story about The Postman having his way with Link's sweet bottom.

COMPLETE; SEQUEL IS UP; Meet Allisima Jackson, a half twilit-hylian with a destiny not even the Goddesses are fully aware of. From her birth to her death, her life has been planned for her... so what will she do when an accidental portal created by the weakened Goddess Hylia takes her back into Hyrule? Can be found on AO3; Father/Daughter!Ghirahim/OC; Ghirahim/Different!OC

A King is born.

Link is a sumo wrestler. Biggest of all of Hyrule. Zelda throws a celebration for him. Ganondorf ruins it, challenging Link, who is called The Hero of Sumo. If Link lost, Ganondorf rules Hyrule, makes everyone his slave, and Link his protegee. Won: Ganondorf returns, not returing. Zelda tasks Link to go to each master and challenge them. Link agrees and goes on his journey.

The Princess has returned, and Ganon is dead. Yet our Hero has a lot of thinking to do. Cross posted on AO3 Also, I'm looking for someone who could proofread for me on this story. If any of you want to, please, PLEASE let me know!