They all sat in the booth, a couple per side, and Jane and Lisbon found themselves seated across from each other. The longtime partners shared a quick smile. No matter how hard Jane struggled against it, he was more smitten every time Teresa gave him that grin. He had noticed it even more since she'd gotten together with Pike. Seeing another man hold her was so much harder than he'd imagined. He'd put so much effort into his charade with Kim, that he hadn't fully considered what it would do to him - seeing Lisbon in a serious relationship with another man.
Meanwhile, though Lisbon's mind had been at odds with her heart for years where Jane was concerned, she found it especially difficult to resist the sparkle in his eyes tonight. Still, she was determined to be a big girl about it, and wanted to convince him that she was okay with how things had ended up. Her heart argued that Jane wasn't the only one she was trying to convince.
"You two make a great couple." Teresa said, with unintended bitterness. Despite her troubled heart, she truly had wanted to voice something resembling support for Jane's apparent happiness. But, like he'd always told her, she was a terrible liar.
Kim looked quickly over to Jane, but instead of mounting a defense of them as a couple, he looked hurt. Not hurt for her, though… hurt for Lisbon, and maybe for himself. His face betrayed a level of concern that greatly exceeded what might be expected between simple partners or friends.
Jane and Lisbon proceeded to have a mildly heated exchange - basically a lovers' spat. Completely forgetting that they each had their own dates as an audience.
Pike looked at Teresa with silent surprise and concern.
"What is it, Marcus?" She asked, with residual irritation, after finally noticing his pained expression.
"You said he wouldn't care, Babe?"
Kim broke in: "She said he wouldn't care about what?" she asked pointedly, already feeling the need to defend what she thought was her territory.
Pike spoke cautiously, determined to get to the bottom of a suspicion he had long held, while also being wary of the possibility he was imagining things and might be creating new problems for himself by continuing. "Teresa assured me Jane wouldn't care that she'd accepted an invitation to move to DC with me. I've been promoted, and they are holding a job for her there as well. We leave next week."
Jane's face went white with shock, while Teresa's went red as a turnip with a combination of anger, embarrassment and pain.
Pike flinched at the swift kick his official date sent his way, and also at the furious glare that accompanied that kick.
Kim was alarmed at Patrick's reaction, fussing over him with worry that he was having a true health scare, before quickly realizing the truth of the matter, and deflating appropriately into awkwardness and discomfort.
Meanwhile, Jane could barely rally his voice to a raspy whisper. "I'm happy for you… I am… I'm just a little hurt that I was the last to know. I thought we meant more to each other than that, Teresa."
He hadn't looked so broken in years, she thought. Struggling between anger at Pike and heartbreak for Jane, Teresa sputtered, "You know why… it's hard… we've worked together a long time…" she reached out and rested her hand on his, giving it a comforting squeeze.
Pike looked completely uncomfortable with the tender, intimate contact he was seeing between his future wife (he assumed) and the strange consultant she'd tolerated for so long.
Jane self-consciously pulled his hand away, not only because of his own hurt feelings but also because of the way Kim was looking at his and Lisbon's joined hands. Teresa was letting her better judgement slip, and it was going to ruin his cover with Kim. It pained him, but he had to create some space - and now.
"Well whatever reasons you want to tell yourself, I disliked being left out!" Jane snapped.
It was immediately clear that he'd upped her ire when she snapped back. "Well I didn't much like being left out either, Jane!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Probably your grand jury stunt." Kim grumbled, also irritated at being left out on that.
Teresa ignored her, looking directly into Jane. "You came back from Juarez and Gentry with gifts for everyone. Not just gifts, but deeply meaningful ones. You'd read the whole team and gifted each member with something they'd been longing for since childhood." Her eyes struggled to stay dry. "And it wasn't lost on me that I was the only one with nothing. Jane you know I'm not into material things, but it was a glaring omission. What made it more hurtful was that it seemed everyone else had noticed too. Then I wasn't only dealing with my own hurt feelings, but also the embarrassment and humiliation of everyone else taking pity."
Jane's face softened, and his eyes fought against the redness and prickling tears that threatened to give him away. "Lisbon, I'm so sorry. You weren't left out. I was just… I was waiting for the perfect time to give you what I found for you."
After a brief look of suspicious doubt, Teresa remembered a time when her partner had made a similar claim. She smiled and snorted, "Please tell me it's not a pony!"
The two partners spent the next several minutes rolling with laughter and sharing fond memories of that long-ago birthday gift he had given her at the CBI.
"Only you, Jane!" She glimmered with affection at her crazy, lovable partner and friend.
"Indeed, it was worth it to see the look on your face, my dear!" He smiled warmly, losing the battle against revealing himself, allowing a hint of the truth to filter through his grey-blue eyes.
Shocked at the scene playing out beside them, and feeling awkwardly on the outside of what was clearly an inside joke between Lisbon and Jane, Kim and Marcus shared a glance that wordlessly said 'do you believe these two?!' With a quick jerk of her head and a sideways glance toward the exit, Kim silently suggested she and Pike leave. It was obvious who the true couple was, at their table.
Barely noticing the movement beside them, Lisbon and Jane suddenly realized what was happening, then jumped to ask their beleaguered dates to stay, through embarrassed apologies. But Pike and Fischer politely refused, deciding to go console themselves over drinks elsewhere, ranting to each other on their way out:
"I never thought he treated you as well as you deserved."
"Well, it was clear to me that she didn't truly appreciate you…"
As the exit doors closed behind the jilted dates, and as the commotion died down, Jane and Lisbon had a sincere, honest conversation about Lisbon's outburst, ending with more questions than answers.
When the conversation lulled uncomfortably, Mr. Aurelio, the old restaurant owner, took the opportunity to check in, offering to bring a new bottle of wine to the table, apparently sensing that the conflicted couple may have a need for it.
"I was thinking about the Bonello de Montecino." Jane sparkled, his voice lilting sublimely over the Italian words.
"That does sound good." His new date smiled back.
"130 bucks a bottle!" He crowed.
"Abbott's paying?" Teresa asked.
"Bingo!"
"Let's get it!"
Smiling at the banter, and at the high-ticket wine sale he'd just made, Mr, Aurelio beamed at the couple, who clearly shared a deep connection:
"Every night with this one is an occasion, yes?" He winked knowingly at Patrick.
Jane had to nod in agreement, turning his focus to Lisbon, his eyes sparkling like the starry sky.
The old man left them with full glasses, and a bucket of ice to keep the rest of the bottle chilled.
Jane carefully took Teresa's hand.
"What does a girl want to hear?"
"I wish I knew."
She was balking again. But now that the curtain of their fabricated relationships had been pulled back, there was no longer any point in denying his true feelings.
"Lisbon, I need you to know that I truly didn't forget about you. I really have been waiting for the right time."
"Yeah right." Teresa said sarcastically, with a nervous chuckle.
"It's true. Yours is such a special gift, my dear. One worthy of all the years we've spent together. And, as such, this gift has meaning for me, too."
Lisbon was growing more perplexed, lowering her eyebrows and tilting her chin.
"You were correct about the gifts for the team. I'm naturally observant, as you well know, so had made a note of things that our friends had each revealed about their childhoods. About gifts wished for but never received. Gifts with no real monetary value - novelty trinkets really - but with great intrinsic value to them, personally."
"Okay." She nodded, still pushing her eyebrows together in pensive concentration.
"So as I wandered through the marketplace during the Furloch case, I thought about what might fill the gaps of my dear partner's childhood. That's when it became crystal clear to me. What are the things you had always wanted, but never gotten, back when you were a kid?"
"Uh… I…" Teresa stuttered the start of an answer, but then stopped, mouth open but no words. Look of puzzlement remaining.
Jane jumped in. "A stable family life. Unconditional love, with no distractions. Someone you could trust and count on to keep you safe. To make sure your needs were met - Instead of the reality you'd found yourself in, where you were in charge of being those things to everyone else."
Lisbon's expression showed her understanding that this was no frivolous novelty. "That sounds like more than what a plastic fairy wand could fix." She continued looking into him with earnestness, trying to read where he was going with this; showing him that she was already deeply moved at the care he was taking as he explained his reasoning for her gift.
"Yeah." He let go a nervous chuckle. "So, in Gentry I realized that the market there held no gifts or trinkets that would be good enough for you, Teresa." His eyes got darker, as he looked into her with more sincerity than she'd ever believed he was capable of.
Lisbon was trying to decode his change in demeanor when she smiled knowingly at the sight of his hands. He always massaged Angela's ring when he was nervous or anxious. She glanced up at him with empathy and care before looking back at his fingers.
Wait. Where was it?! He was massaging the empty spot on his finger where it had been before, but the ring itself was gone. Maybe Kim had insisted he stop wearing it? Lisbon felt herself growing angry at the possibility. How insensitive to pressure him that way!
"I realized that the gift I wanted for you had been with me since before we'd even met, my dear. All of those things that were missing from your childhood. The love. The stability. The promise of care, and of security in relationships. The having someone to look after your every need. I wanted this gift to represent the promise that…" He stopped to gather himself. His next sentence would blow whatever remained of his plan to pieces. He was terrified of how she might react.
Lisbon's eyes grew wide as she saw the ring appear like magic between his fingers.
"This gift, Teresa," his voice was breaking with emotion.
Her heart squeezed at seeing his struggle, and with anticipation for the words he might utter next.
"This gift represents the promise that… that I will be all of those things to you… forever… if only you'll accept the gift."
Lisbon had no idea how to respond. Her eyes were streaming with tears. She was trying to put the pieces together from what he'd just said.
"And I'm sorry that I took so long, Teresa. At first I lacked the courage. Then, when you took up with Pike, I so wanted to be able to let you go… to let the gift be my absence, allowing you the happy life you deserve with someone wonderful and good, like him. But my heart wouldn't stand for it, as evidenced by what's happened here tonight. Please… will you accept my gift, Teresa?" He reached his free hand across the table and gathered her folded hands in his gentle grasp. "I've not wanted something this badly since… well… you know how long."
Yes she did. Lisbon couldn't keep from smiling at the thought of what he was proposing. But then she was hit with a thought… a brick of reality hurled through the dream. "Wh… What about Kim?"
"That wasn't real… not for me anyhow - Though I had hoped that I could convince myself, for your sake, that it was. And I feel bad for using her, but… I didn't want to let myself fall into loving you, Teresa. You deserve better, my dear. I thought I could subsume my feelings for you by substituting another woman. It would be worth it to see you free of my influence, tricks and charlatan tendencies. You are worthy of so much more."
Her sage green eyes caressed him with empathy, as she loosened one of her folded hands and placed it on top of his, sandwiching his hand comfortingly between hers. "Please don't say things like that, Jane. Do you think I'd allow myself to invest in someone who had no redeeming qualities? I worked so hard to believe that Marcus was who I wanted. That I was happy to be free of guessing games and trouble. But the truth is, that I can't stop my heart from wanting you."
Jane couldn't hold back his tears. His heart didn't know what to do with the overflow of joy as his truest wishes continued to unfold in her words.
"Your smile, your sparkling eyes, your fun-loving mischievous nature." She sighed, smiling at some pleasant memory. "The way you make me feel whenever we touch."
Jane glowed at that remark, carefully moving his other hand to rest on top of their previously gathered hands, without losing hold of the ring.
"Besides," she confessed, "I'd been thinking that I was the one who wasn't worth it. Too intense and particular… too skittish… too many angry words… too much of a tomboy - compared to Kim anyway…"
"Oh Teresa…" he sighed as he lovingly caressed the side of her cheek with the back of his fingers, "you have no equal, my dear. It's been you and only you since the day we met. Any other romantic encounters or interests I may have had since then were merely theater."
"Jane…" His words struck her squarely in the chest, causing her to pause, overcome by the fluttering that had suddenly overtaken her heart. "I feel the same way about you…"
Then a familiar gleam surfaced in her eyes, and she muttered with typically dry wit, almost under her breath, "Although, at first you seemed more like a car crash that I just couldn't look away from." She chuckled, then winced slightly, hoping he would hear the playful tease for what it was. "But I grew amazed at your incredible mind… your near-perfect reads on people… and how you would plan these intricate operations that had every reason to go wrong, yet you always landed on your feet."
"Nine lives!" Jane crowed, with mock pride. Both partners laughed freely, relaxing into their shared history… into their deep connection.
"At some point, though, I realized that your charms were getting to me. The glimmer in your eyes. The sunshine in your smile. The goodness that lies hidden beneath all the tricks and false bravado."
"My dear, you are going to ruin my bad-boy reputation!" Jane joked.
Smiling wide at his jest, she snorted. "As if!"
Jane was so enjoying this game, and the honesty it was revealing. "Very well, then. Continue with your compliments."
After a lighthearted eyeroll, Teresa went straight to the heart of the matter. "I absolutely, completely, and irrevocably love you, Patrick Jane. All of you. The light and the dark in you. The playful and the thoughtful parts. The sincerity and the jokester. The parts of you that drive me crazy with rage and the parts that drive me mad with desire."
Jane sat stunned, a dumb smile frozen on his face. He had hoped to broach the subject of them as a couple once the night had dissolved into honesty, but wasn't planning to put too much pressure on her. And now she'd gone and said that she loved him. And she'd used his full name. And she'd praised his whole self - even the parts he was ashamed of. God she was perfect, he loved her so much.
"Jane?" Lisbon looked a bit unsure of his silent, bewildered reaction.
"I'm sorry, Teresa… just pleasantly surprised, my dear." He said, through the same goofy smile. "So, does this mean you accept my gift?" His eyebrows went up, and his hopeful smile got wider.
"To be clear, the gift is symbolized by Angela's ring, but the gift you're offering is really you, right? You, forever?" Her eyes sparkled with anticipation, while her half smile and jittery hands showed her nerves. She hoped with all of her heart that what she was hearing was true, but braced herself for the possibility that she'd read things all wrong somehow.
Jane looked away for a second. "When you put it like that it doesn't sound so great…" his head danced side to side as he mockingly said: " 'here's my first wife's ring - don't you want to be stuck with all my shortcomings for the rest of your life?' " Jane laughed nervously, reading her for any sense of hesitation.
"Well, one thing we're gonna have to work on right away is this self-deprecating attitude, mister!" Lisbon moved around the table, so they were side by side, eye to eye. "Like I said before, material things don't matter to me. So whatever symbol you choose is fine. Having said that though, I know how very special Angela is to you, and I also know how you treasure her ring. Knowing that, I can't imagine a more meaningful symbol than your 'first wife's ring.' I am floored at the significance, and at how much you must care for me… at how much you must trust me, to gift me such a treasured part of yourself."
Jane's eyes filled with fresh tears. "You've no idea how much I trust and care for you, my dear. The truth, Teresa, is that I can't imagine waking up knowing that I won't see you. The truth is, I love you… wholeheartedly, without reservation. A future with you is the only one I can imagine. You grabbed my attention with those emerald eyes on the day we first met at the CBI, and with your insistence on my help in that first case. You saw me as something more than pitiful. More than a victim. You sparked a distant hope in me, that I might someday see past those terms when looking at myself, too."
He wiped at his eyes, then was overcome by a slow grin. "It wasn't until later, that I discovered you were delightfully fun to tease! I adore the lightning in your eyes when you get all authoritari— OW!" He stopped to rub his arm over-dramatically after receiving a playful punch from Lisbon, but his eyes were still sparkling with fond remembrance. "And something happened at that reunion… as we slow-danced… I was teasing you with guesses about band instruments..."
"I remember! Still haven't guessed correctly!" She winked.
He glowed in response to the memory and to her playful jab, "But inside, my heart was thawing… beating out of control… arguing fiercely with my mind, which insisted on staying the course with Red John... Throwing up red flags of warning about 'what if that psycho ever caught wind that I cared so much about you.'" His voice broke at the end. Red John was long gone, but Patrick was still capable of being decimated by the memory of that fear - the terror of putting his Teresa in danger simply by allowing himself to love her.
Lisbon pulled him into a tender hug. To this day, she had vivid memories - and occasional nightmares - of her fears for him during that time… and of the long lonely years after, of not knowing… of desperately longing… of living in a sort of hopeful limbo… They held each other for a silent moment as they briefly remembered the perilous past.
Jane loosened his grip and leaned back so that he could look into her beautiful eyes, "But now he's gone. And we're here." He moved his hands to gently cradle her face. "And I love you more than anything. Please say yes, Teresa?"
Lisbon smiled radiantly, in a mist of happy tears, as she held his face in her own hands, "Patrick, I think that having all of you, forever, is the most wonderful gift I can imagine. I wholeheartedly accept!"
With an adoring look, laced with equal parts surprise and relief, he placed the ring in her hand, folding her fingers over it and gently squeezing them closed.
The two partners shared a tender, first kiss, that wrecked them both with its intensity, followed by an overwrought, vice-like embrace. All of the years they'd denied themselves the gift of each other, coming to a head in this moment. Each, feeling sobs of relief and joy from the other. Both, overcome at this rapturous occasion; this feeling that nothing in their shared history had ever felt so 'right' as this promise to give themselves to each other until the end of time itself.
She had always known the truth… it had always been Jane, and only Jane… Thank you, God…
(A/N: only one chapter left - and it's the fluffiest fluff to ever fluff!)