Well, let's continue with the day after deaths.

The rumours hadn't stopped as the day wore on, but they had slowed down. Partly because the boys weren't there to prompt their teammates, and partly because the worst had happened yesterday. My so-called friends still wouldn't let me sit with them, so I sat with Veronica again. This time, Martha joined us. It seemed like her period of being mad at Veronica had passed, because she was a little more timid around her than usual, but mostly, they seemed like they were good friends again.

My other friends were still avoiding me. I'd passed Holly again, but this time, she made eye contact with me for a second and then looked away. At least she didn't call me a slut again. I hadn't seen Lisa or Steph at all. It was comforting to sit with Veronica and Martha, who both accepted me for who I was and didn't take the rumour mill's word for my identity (although admittedly Veronica could have if she wasn't also a target and knew what really happened).

The rumour mill, as a matter of fact, seemed less active today than it had been yesterday. There were still a few kids who went around whispering, but most of the school seemed bored with it. Those who weren't were mostly nerdy kids who complained that the bullies got all the girls. It was easy to ignore.

Meanwhile, the three of us talked about having another movie night that very weekend. "I've missed you," Veronica told Martha sincerely. "I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, but I promise I won't do it again."

Martha nodded. "I know. It was painful, but I get that you were backed into a corner and you weren't planning on hurting me and you did your best to make up for it. Plus you confessed it all – that couldn't have been easy." She gave a sweet smile. "We need to do something to get back on a good note, so we should definitely do a movie night."

"And since Martha and I had a couple of them earlier, Veronica," I added, "It's your turn to choose one. I mean, I like horror, but if you guys don't, I'm happy to watch something else."

Martha shivered. "I didn't know you liked horror, Ana," she commented.

I shrugged. "I figured you didn't, so I didn't mention it. I knew you wouldn't want to watch a horror movie, so there was no point. And I know this is lame, but I also really like musicals." I figured I could trust the girls with this. I knew Martha wouldn't tease me about something like that. Veronica I expected to tease me a little, but I knew she wouldn't go around spreading it.

Martha brightened. "Oh, me too!" she said happily. "Maybe we should get one of those. Something with a sweet ending."

Veronica pretended to groan and look annoyed. "Look, guys, I guess musicals are okay with me, even if it's all happiness, but I'm not going to rent Annie."

Admittedly I'd liked Annie as a little kid and the melodies were still nice to listen to once in a while, but I didn't want to watch that either. Especially not the version she was talking about, with the ridiculous red afro in summer, instead of the brunette during Christmas. I much preferred the Disney version that didn't exist yet.

I laughed at her. "You think that's the kind of musical we're talking about? That's not my thing at all. There's a movie of Little Shop Of Horrors – and Martha, don't worry, it's a comedy, there's a romance, and it has a happy ending," I added. "Why don't we see if the store has that?" Okay, Ellen Greene's lisping voice drove me nuts, but it was funny, and although I knew the musical didn't have a happy ending, the movie did.

Martha agreed to try it. I wished I could have told her that the composers also wrote the music for The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast to reassure her, but one wasn't out and I wasn't sure if the other was yet, since it was from this year.

The news about the "suicides" didn't break until after school. I invited JD back to my house (my absentee parents meant I hadn't even been over to his long enough to meet his dad yet, and I wasn't planning to), and we saw it on TV. We weren't actually paying much attention, even though we were in the living room. We were too busy chatting some of the time, making out the rest. JD had even taken his trench coat off so I had easier access, although we were both clothed decently. But then I heard a news reporter mention the name "Kurt Kelly", and I immediately jerked up, turning the sound up.

"Sounds like they've found them," I muttered.

JD shrugged. "They've probably also found the note."

They had – they actually read it out on the news, the same thing I'd written. Because I wasn't some homophobe, I'd made an effort to make them sound a little mature, but it was weird to hear the newsreader say "Love is never wrong, so we hope this stand teaches you that while we will die, our love will not and we will be free from your taunts."

"I remember you writing that part," JD said thoughtfully. "I know I was saying before how love is never wrong and figured you picked up on that from me. So if you believe that love is never wrong and this was real and they were in gay forbidden love, how would you react?"

I shrugged. "What's there to react to? Yeah, I got the idea to say it because you said it first, but I think it's true. It would have been weird that they were secretly dating while hitting on and drunkenly trying to assault girls, but I'd rather they'd been openly gay than doing that. It's legal here. I guess I just never thought about it. Why, do you think it's wrong?"

JD looked a little uncomfortable. "Not wrong exactly. I mean, like I said, love isn't. But I was born in the deep south, and it's a lot more traditional there. Dad has his own opinions about how it's unnatural or something like that, but his opinions aren't mine. I knew it would be pretty scandalous in this town, which is how I got the idea to frame the suicide from that angle, but that doesn't really affect my thoughts. I guess as long as I don't have to watch it, who cares?"

I smiled suddenly, remembering the song at the funeral. "Well, you probably shouldn't go to their funeral, then," I said with a sigh. "I'm sure that'll be coming this weekend, and I really want to go. After the idealization they did to Heather, I'd like to see how they idealize those two."

"It would be weird if I showed up," JD admitted. "After getting into fights with them, why would I want to? Their suicide note didn't practically apologize to everyone like Heather's did. But if you show up, it makes it look like you're forgiving them for giving you a hard time because they made up the rumours to hide their relationship and you feel sorry for them. It fits." We went back to making out after a moment. "Either way," he added, "Once this gets out, the rumours about you will be almost as dead as they are."

He was right about that. A lot of kids had seen the news and that's what most of them were talking about on Wednesday morning. When I got to my locker, I found most of the Sharpie writing had been wiped off, leaving mostly just an illegible black smudge. Only the year, 89, remained.

Stephanie appeared at my shoulder. "I rubbed it off," she admitted. "I felt bad about writing it, but the guys dared me to do it. I didn't ever really think it was true, but everyone else was saying it was, and…" she trailed off.

I scowled at her. "You were supposed to be my friend. Not just you, either. I thought you didn't mind losers. I trusted you and the others, but you hear a few people calling me a slut and that was enough for all of you to believe it without even asking me?"

"I told you, I didn't believe all of it!" Stephanie defended herself. "I mean, they're hot. If one of them hit on me, I'd flirt back, but I wouldn't go all the way, or with them both. So what really happened?"

I scowled harder. That didn't make me warm to her. If she hadn't believed it all, why did she write on my locker? Martha had actually come to tell Veronica and I she didn't believe it. Still, I told her. "The other Heathers dragged Veronica out to a farm by telling her they had an emergency and I came with her. The second we got there, they ran off and left us with the drunken idiots who made it very clear what they wanted. Veronica knocked Ram into the cowpats and I kicked Kurt in the balls, then we ran." I managed a humourless smile and added "Now we know they were together, they probably just said they did to us what they actually did to each other."

I hadn't meant to be funny, but Steph giggled. "So I'll see you at lunch?" she said brightly.

"Are you mental?" I snapped at her. "I don't sit with people who call me a slut and whore without even asking me if I actually did what other people are saying. Get lost, wastoid, I'm sitting with my real friends." I slammed my locker and walked away, reflecting that I'd actually started talking like a 1989 chick now. I'd heard that term and thought it suited the scenario.

I think Steph must have told Holly and Lisa what I said, because they both tried to approach me at break. "Step off!" I snapped at both of them. "You don't talk to sluts, remember?"

Holly held up her hands. "Okay, okay, we screwed up on you. White flag of truce, we come in peace and all that jazz. Stop being such a drama queen and let's just hang out again."

"Bite me," I snapped back. "So the guys who were making up rumours about me are dead and gay and that makes you want to be friends again? If you think I'd take it, you're tripping."

Lisa spoke up more softly. "Come on, Ana, we never stopped liking you. We've been your friends for a whole month. Why would you throw that away?"

"Because you ditched me over some rumours, maybe?" I shot back. "Friends don't do that – they ask you first. JD didn't dump me over that, and he had far more reason to be mad over it than you. I mean, fine, Heather Duke spread the rumours when she was supposed to be friends with Veronica, but I didn't think you guys were like the Heathers. I thought you were better than that. You're not, so I'd rather stick with the girls who listened and decided they didn't believe them."

"Who didn't believe it?" Holly scoffed. "I didn't hear anyone say you didn't do it. Even the losers believed it all. The only reason you started hanging out with Veronica Sawyer is because she was there too and had the same rumours circulating about her."

I scowled at them. "I like Veronica more than I like either of you. I always did. Why do you think I stood up for her at the party? And maybe you don't think Martha Dunnstock is a person, but I thought I was hanging out with kids who don't make fun of girls for their weight. She heard the rumours and came to tell us on Monday that she didn't believe them. You called me a slut or pretended you didn't even see me. Friends don't do that." And with that, I walked away from them.

I knew that expelling myself from the floaters' group was dangerous. But what did I care? Now that I had Veronica, I didn't feel endangered by letting Martha back into my school social circle – once the rumours had died down completely, Veronica would be back to being high on the social totem, and that would keep me high up too, especially if I got a few new outfits like hers – ones that really suited me (I didn't have to dress 100% like a Heather, but something similar…). If that wasn't enough, I knew JD would protect me from anyone trying to mess with me. I'd be just fine without those fairweather friends.

I was originally going to let Ana back into the floaters' group, but then I thought, why would she want to be back in? She's got other friends. Also, she was worried about fitting in, but she's not so much now – getting involved with JD makes her feel more confident as well as more interested in life. I can't say he's a good influence, but he's at least an empowering influence.

By the way, The Little Mermaid wasn't actually out. This is October, and it didn't come out until around Thanksgiving that year.