Chapter Three - I Don't Wanna Fall In Love

Inara's eyelids fluttered opened to see the sunlight streaming through the window of her shuttle. They had docked while she slept. She had been so distracted pining for Mal that she realized she didn't even know what planet they were on. A smile graced her lips as she recalled making love to Mal. She understood he couldn't stay in bed with her as he still had to make a living. He was responsible for everyone on Serenity. Inara laid back for a minute before getting ready. It was a new world today, and she couldn't wait.

Inara made her way to the kitchen where Zoe was sitting at the table with one of Wash's dinosaur toys in her hand. Her heart felt like it froze over. "Good morning Zoe." She saw Zoe's grip tighten on the toy. Inara couldn't help herself, she knelt at Zoe's feet and placed her hand over Zoe's. "I'm here for you."

Zoe's eyes flickered to Inara as if just noticing the other woman was there. "I'm…"

Inara wiped the lone tear that fell, but didn't push Zoe into speaking. Healing doesn't work that way. Everyone heals at their own time and their own way. It wasn't her place to push Zoe.

Zoe looked down at the toy and releasing her fierce grip on it, "I'm pregnant." She spoke softly, barely an audible whisper.

Inara gave a sad smile and kissed her cheek. "Wash wouldn't want you to be alone. We are all here for you. We can't replace Wash, no one could, but you're not alone."

Zoe nodded and gave a hint of a smile. "Thank you."

Inara nodded and moved to sit in the chair next to Zoe and rubbed her back in a soothing manner.

And that was how Mal found them. At first he was going to duck out but Zoe saw him. He could tell Zoe was out of sorts, especially with Inara rubbing her back. "Something I should know?" He leaned against the doorway.

Inara smiled at Zoe. "If you need to talk, I'm here." She knew Zoe and Mal had a special relationship forged in blood and war. So it was obvious that they needed to be alone.

Inara stood and as she walked past Mal she placed her hand on his arm and he recoiled. She lowered her eyes and removed her hand. She walked out and went back to her shuttle, all the while contemplating about why he flinched. Was he uncomfortable with public displays? Did he want what happened between them to be a secret? The worst was; did he regret sleeping with her at all? She forced herself to calm down. She composed herself and set about brew some her tea. Tea was always good when her feelings plagued her mind.

It was later in the afternoon that Inara saw Mal again. She was heading out to get some food when she opened her door there stood Mal. Her breath caught in her throat. She could see he was out of sorts and her stomach clenched. "Mal?" Her whole body was on edge.

"Nara, I…" Mal began. Unfortunately that's as far as he got. He could bring himself to tell her it was a mistake. Mainly because it wasn't.

When he didn't say anything else Inara frowned and looked down to hide her pain. "I'll pack my things." She shut the door in his face. She sat down on her bed, the bed they had made love in not a day ago. Now… her eyes closed as the first tears fell.

After a crying until she couldn't anymore she packed her things. She fixed her make-up and went out into docks to buy passage to Sihnon. She was pleased they were at Persephone and not some backwater moon. By the time the crew finished eating dinner Inara was gone. Inara felt horrible about leaving her 'family' without so much as a goodbye, but she was certain they would understand. At least she hoped they would.