Memories are a fickle thing. They could haunt a person with regret for what was or wasn't done, or they could prove to be a beacon for one's resolve or a remembrance of one's happiness. Edward and Alphonse Elric were plagued with memories, and most of the time, they weren't exactly exuberant times to remember.
Since they were young, the Elric brothers never knew what a normal family situation was like. From their mother's extremely traumatic passing to the aftermath that made them forever haunted them, lest they forget the consequences. That night changed everything. Whenever Edward woke up at night and felt that small twinge of pain from where the automail was attached to his body, he remembered.
Even though those cold appendages are gone from his life, the memories remain. The memories of that night when they cheated God and learned the consequences. When they made that thing that may have looked like their mother, but it could barely be called a creature than a living breathing mother.
"God the blood. And the sounds it made...," Edward Elric thought as he sat up in bed. It was early, maybe a couple hours before dawn, and he had just experienced a terrible nightmare based on that fateful night. Even though those horrible moments have replayed in his head countless times, it still ran a chill down his back and kept him up some nights.
He looked around the dark room, able to make out vague shapes in the night. He had awoken from a terrible dream, a twisted version of that wretched night.
He reached a tentative hand out and felt warm skin by his side. His wife, Winry Elric, previously Rockbell, was softly sleeping by his side. She stirred the tiniest bit at his touch but didn't fully wake. A few moments later, she was back to quietly snoring, causing a small smirk to grace Ed's lips.
Winry. No matter what, he had Winry. From when the brothers were children, playing with transmutation circles and exploring alchemy, to that horrible night when Alphonse knocked on the door of the Rockbell residence with a bloody Edward in his arms, Winry was there. She helped her grandmother Pinako give Edward the metal appendages that gave him such notoriety in the years to come.
Edward took another longing glance at Winry and softly pushed aside a blonde hair on her cheek. She was so cute laying there her firey personality of hers wasn't present. Not that her personality was ever a problem, that's yet another reason Ed always found himself gravitated towards the brash mechanic. Fond memories were had when she used to get so frustrated with his hatred of milk.
"I can't help it tastes like crap, Win," he used to say. Normally, the response came within a storm of shouts and a barrage of smacks to his head. The hits were never hard, thankfully. Ed knew she could hit far harder than that. He had been on the receiving end of that more than once, usually after returning to her home with an arm in pieces. "Those wreck swings hurt."
Edward stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He didn't know what time it was, but that dream had given him a good enough start to dissuade him from falling back asleep. He got up slowly from the bed and stretched his arms above his head.
"Might as well go get some water or something," he spoke softly to himself. He ran a hand through his messy blond hair, taken down from the ponytail he normally kept it in. Sighing, he headed through the dark rooms to the kitchen after checking to see if Winry was still sleeping.
The house Winry and Edward finally settled with was a pretty average affair, with an upstairs hallway area that branched off into a couple bedrooms, a bathroom for guests, and a small side room used as a study.
Ed made his way through the house carefully, not caring to turn on a light since the windows let in enough moonlight to see his way to the stairs and down them to the small living room area that was attached to the kitchen. He and Winry had bought the house after the entire crazy ordeal was over with Father and the homunculi.
"What an ordeal that was," he thought. He sighed and turned on the kitchen light and went over to a cupboard and pulled out a small glass, and shut back the door. He went over to the faucet and filled the cup with cold water.
He leaned against the counter and took a sip of the water. Before then, he hadn't realized how dry his mouth felt after waking up. He looked up at the ceiling and ran his free hand through his hair. "I can't seem to get away from those damn nightmares lately."
The twisted versions of his memories had always followed him when he slept, from the horrible recollections of that terrible night that woke him tonight, to the horrific sights he saw as a state alchemist working like a dog for the government. The ones involving his childhood and his mother always were the worst. A shiver ran down his back as he remembered the one tonight. The twisted, amorphous shape of flesh and the cold, piercing eyes of it still flashed through his memories like they were recent.
He instinctively reached for his pocketwatch, but remembered that he wouldn't find it.
Don't forget 3 Oct.11. Even without the watch, those words were part of him. They were branded Ed and Al's minds cause, lest they forget, the law of equivalent exchange always holds true, in alchemy and the heart. That day when they burned that house down is what set them on their
path to restore theirselves back to normal and learn what they cam about that damned stone. They soon realized how childish and naive those dreams were.
Ed felt a cool feeling on his cheek and snapped his eyes open. An unwilling tear was slowly rolling down his cheek. He sighed and took another sip of water. The memories still cut as sharp as steel even this long after.
Memories were funny like that. Some bring joy and warmth to the soul, but it always seemed the bad ones cut the deepest and left the most lasting impression on a soul. Souls. The one thing an alchemist can't replicate.
The tears were welling up now. It's been a while since he cried like this. He always thought it showed too much weakness when he cried and always kept a straight face to keep Al happy.
Ed grabbed a small hand towel and headed over to the dining room table, and sat down, putting his head in his hands. He let the tears come now, only making a passing attempt at wiping them away. It felt nice, like a burden was melting away with the tears. He leaned back in the chair and coughed as he let out another sob.
"Ed? Are you okay?" Edward jumped at the soft voice that came from behind him. He turned around in a flash and wiped his face with the towel. He looked around and saw Winry standing in the entryway to the living room. She was in her nightclothes, a silk nightgown he had bought for her shortly after they got married.
"Yeah, I just woke up and went to the restroom and felt really parched." Ed wiped another tear and tried to hide the blush on his face from where he had been crying. He knew it wasn't going to work and that he looked like a mess, yet he still tried cause he didn't want to worry Winry. But Winry wasn't going to be fooled that easy.
"Honey, no use trying to hide it. I've been watching you for a little bit now. I got too warm and woke up myself and realized you were gone. I came to the stairs and noticed the light was on." She came into the kitchen now and came over to him, wrapping an arm around his midsection. "Now, tell me what's wrong and stop acting all tough."
Ed sighed and wrapped her up in a tight hug, placing his hand on her head, ruffling her blonde hair. "It was just a bad dream. Got the best of me, and I couldn't fall back asleep." He felt the tears coming again. "This time, it was about that night me and Al tried to bring back mom. The...thing was there, and it was looking at me with those creepy ass eyes it had. I was stunned, couldn't move. I felt so hopeless, and as soon as it started moving, I woke up. I was shaking and scared." He was rambling now, tears flowing. His hands were shaking as well, and he pulled Winry tighter as he spoke.
Winry's eyes widened as he told the story. This was the first time he had told her about any of these nightmares, and it was clearly affecting him severely. When he stopped speaking, she
pushed herself back to look up at his face. He was looking pretty rough. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were flushed bright. It sent a pang of pain through her heart, and she felt herself tearing up a little, but she bit her lip and swallowed.
She took his by the cheeks and brought him in for a deep kiss. She tasted the salt of his tears on his lips and felt him slowly calm down and pull her closer. She pulled away and looked him in his eyes. "I'm sorry, honey. You were just freaking out, and that was the only solution I could think of at the moment."
Edward looked at his wife now, and his eyes finally brightened. "No. Thank you, Win. I was the one that was rambling, and that calmed me right down. It's better than your usual methods." He smiled and placed a small kiss on her forehead, pushing a hair away from her face.
Her face scrunched up at him, but she still smiled and leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You really think I would've reacted differently to my husband crying in my arms.?"
"Of course not. You're always so understanding. I don't know why I ever tried to hide my tears. I'm sorry for worrying you by not being in bed." He let go of her and headed over to the tap for more water. He filled up his glass and took a long sip. He took some water from the sink and splashed it on his face, turning back to Winry as he wiped his eyes with a towel. "You know that's the first time I've well and truly cried in a while."
Win watched him and nodded. "You know, that's true. I can't recall seeing you cry for a while now. Maybe when Alphonse got his body back, but that was months ago now. And I remember you crying at the wedding too, but that wasn't exactly a sad cry. Or at least it better not had been." She gave him a playful glare and took a seat at the table, placing her cheek in her palm.
She looked him over as he stood there at the sink. He had grown since they were younger. He used to be shorter than her unless he was in his military boots, and he was always pretty lean but very athletic in his build. He was always so stubborn to get back moving when she had to pick up the pieces and repair his automail. It's like he was afraid he would crumble if he sat too long. Now, he was taller than her and still took care of himself well.
He smiled and took a seat across from her, grabbing her hands and giving them a soft squeeze. "Of course I was happy, Win. I was marrying the lady who was always there for me. I had all the reason to be the happiest man in Amestris." He smiled and lifted her hand to his lips, placing a small kiss on it.
She smiled big and stood up, pulling him with her. She reeled him in for a big hug, holding him tight and feeling his warmth. "That was so sweet of you to say, Ed! I swear, I find more to love about you every day." She held his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss, running her fingers behind his ears into his thick hair. She felt his hands fall to her hips, and he pulled her closer.
He pulled away and softly bit her bottom lip, smiling as he did so. "So, you think you're ready to fall back asleep?" He pushed another hair from her face. Her face was blushed, and her breathing was shallow.
"I think I'm good. I'm mainly concerned about you. You really seemed shook up earlier. I want you to be comfortable and make sure you can at least get a good night's rest tonight." She traced small circles on his chest as she spoke. His body was warm, and his arms never felt better.
"I'm fine now that you're here. You make me forget everything and focus on the now." He held her close, placing his hands on the small of her back. "I think we should go back to bed and try to get comfortable. It's late." If he was being honest, he could stand here for hours, with her in his arms. But it really was late, and sleep would be good after such a rough night.
Winry let out a small yawn, seeming to notice the time all of a sudden. "Yeah I guess we should. We don't have to be anywhere tomorrow morning, so let's sleep in a little, shall we?" She gave him a small smirk and squeezed his hand.
"That sounds wonderful, Win." They started back to the bedroom, turning off the kitchen light as they passed. Ed kept a hold of her hand as they walked back, even though he knew she could find her way fine. Ed led the way as they walked, feeling for the railing for the stairs and heading up slowly.
Eventually they made their way to the room and slid into the bed, sliding under the thick sheet and getting comfortable.
Ed was laying on his side, slowly winding down to sleep when he felt a pair of warm arms wrapping around his midsection. Eventually he felt Winry press her warm body against his, her chest pressing against his upper back. He smiled and looked over his shoulder in the dark. "You know I live for stuff like this nowadays," he said.
"I do too, Ed. When I lay like this, I can almost forget what we've been through." She leaned up and placed small kisses on the back of his neck, sending a small shiver down her husband's back. She smiled, laying her head back down on her pillow.
"I know. Earlier I completely forgot why I was even awake when I was in your arms. After all, not all memories are painful to remember. Like our wedding or the free time I get to spend with you since I quit reporting as a state alchemist." Feeling sleep creeping up on him, he looked over his shoulder and smiled. "Good night, Winry. Love you."
"Love you too, Ed. Good night. Just remember I'm here for you, always."
Shortly after, both members of the Elric family drifted to sleep, with not one more pesky interruption to boot.
A/N: So it's been...a while since I posted anything on or any other fanfic site for that matter. I decided to try my hand at it again for old time's sake. Hope you enjoy!