Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.
Chapter Twenty-One
Acceptance
Everything was perfect the next morning, she was in Ron's warm arms, and there was no other place that she would rather be. That was the first minute of being awake though, after that she remembered all that happened yesterday. She tried to just remember the first half of the day, the part at the Burrow when she met all of Ron's family, so she could have some peace of mind, but of course she couldn't. Her mind didn't let her avoid remembering everything that happened afterwards, and it made her feel just awful.
"I was starting to think you were going to sleep the morning away," Ron said softly as he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her closer to him.
"I wish I had," Hermione sighed, sitting up a little to look at him and noticed that it was ten o'clock. "Ron, you're late for work."
"I'm not going to work today," Ron said, looking at her like she was crazy for even suggesting it. "I have more important things I have to do."
"Ron …" Hermione sighed, she didn't want to keep him from work, but she liked that he was going to stay here for her and even more that he knew that he should stay even without her asking him to. "You really shouldn't do this for me …."
"Who said I'm doing this for you?" Ron said smirking at her, using the mischievous grin that she knew meant a bit of trouble, but she loved seeing it all the same. "I'm doing this all for me, love."
"Really … what, you're doing paperwork now and you really like the idea of ditching?" Hermione smiled back at him. She marveled at the fact that despite everything that transpired last night she could still smile, something that she would have thought impossible before she met him. However, he was there, and she felt really good about that.
"No," Ron said suddenly becoming serious. "If I went into work I would have just worried about you all day." Then he added in a teasing tone, "I wouldn't want you crying all over the house or anything like that."
"Shut up," Hermione said making a face at him, but he had a good chance of being right there; she had no idea what she would have done without him here, and she'll never have to.
They had spent the whole day in bed, mostly talking. He had tried to let her lead the conversation, not sure if she wanted to talk about her parents or if she wanted to avoid it. When it became clear that she wanted to avoid it, he started talking about magic.
"So, when did you first start thinking that you might be a witch," Ron asked not sure if he was asking about when she was a kid, or the last month.
Hermione snuggled into his chest as she answered, "its kind of weird, looking back at my memories as a kid now that I got this memory back. I know that Professor McGonagall didn't change them, but they were so dull before and now I remember everything clearly."
"Do you think the spell made them clearer?" Ron mused not really asking her but she answered him anyways.
"No, I think I was repressing these memories to protect myself," Hermione said gravely but honestly. "I knew I was different, and I knew strange things happened around me, especially before I turned eleven, but I never thought of those memories. Well, other than the lessons I learned to control my emotions so nothing strange happened in the future."
"And you think that repression is why you didn't realize you were a witch after you learned about magic," Ron said, she had said as much yesterday, but they didn't really have time to talk about that then, as his family was there and then they were going to Hogwarts. Merlin did all of that happen in just one day?!
"Yes, I do think that," Hermione sighed. "It's not like I didn't notice all the odd things that would happen around me but I pushed it to the back of my mind so I didn't associate it with my past as much as I possibly could. It's hard to explain really."
"That's okay, you don't have to," Ron said, he could feel how tense she was becoming, and he didn't really need to know more about this. "What about after you read the Muggle guidebook? I know you were anxious a lot the last two weeks, but I thought that was about your exams."
"My anxiety was mostly about my test," Hermione said smiling at him, "I've become very good at pushing things to the back of my mind, so it doesn't bother me as much …."
"That's not healthy, Mione," Ron frowned squeezing her closer to him. "I know that you had a reason this time, but please, don't try to repress your memories in the future. Or stop yourself from dealing with an issue …."
"I can't promise I won't do this in the future," Hermione interrupted him this time and he frowned at her, but she just smiled, "but I can promise I'll try to come to you. I don't want to repress anything anymore. But it's like I said yesterday, if I had thought about the possibility that I was a witch before my test, I wouldn't have been able to handle it."
"I know," Ron said kissing the top of her head to show he did understand. "I just wish that I could have helped you more." Ron didn't think either one of them wanted to talk about this point anymore, so he moved the conversation on. "On a different note … why did you think trying magic for the first time in front of my whole family was the right move?"
"I was just feeling so comfortable there, and when I saw you use magic, I thought why not?" Hermione said blushing slightly, not really sure why she decided to do that then too. "I probably should have done it when it was just you and me though."
"That would have been nicer for me, but I think we learned some things with what Remus had to say," Ron admitted, not to mention he probably wouldn't have thought to bring her to Hogwarts right way, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He supposed it was good that they got her memory back so quickly because it wasn't something that they would have to worry about in the future, but he hated how depressed she seemed to be by this.
"What he had to say was interesting," Hermione agreed, "and it makes me want to read more about the history of … well … everything."
"I bet," Ron chuckled.
"Ron, I have a question about your wand," Hermione said after a few moments of silence.
"What about it?" Ron asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't know it's just … when I was holding it, it felt … warm or … friendly, in my hand," Hermione said, not sure how to describe the feeling of holding his wand.
"Did it," Ron was now beaming, pleased about this.
"Do all wands feel that way?" Hermione asked, though with his reaction she could guess the answer to this question.
"No, every wand is different and feels different for each person," Ron said. "The fact that my wand feels friendly to you means that it has accepted you and recognized the bond that we have."
It was Hermione's turn to be pleased and then she asked, "Do you know a lot about wands?"
"A bit, I had an opportunity to talk to Ollivander a few times ..." Ron answered and then closed his eyes thinking about the times he talked to the wandmaker after Malfoy Manor but shook that out of his head. "He gave me quite the ear full when he gave me this wand. He actually was able to make it for me, saying that since he got to know me a bit, he thought he would be able to make a wand that suited me. And of course, he was right."
"Right …" Hermione said swallowing, as she listened to him it just occurred to her that she might need a wand.
"I owled him before we ate breakfast," Ron said noticing where her thoughts were. "He's retired so he doesn't work, but I wanted him to be the one to help you get your wand … er … that is if you wanted to get one."
"Oh," Hermione gasped at this information, "I didn't even think about that until right now … do you think it's okay if I got a wand?"
"Of course, it's okay you get a wand, you're a witch," Ron smiled at her. "We'll have to figure out how to teach you how to use it. McGonagall said she would help, but that will probably take a few months … she won't have time until after school and I'm sure you can't wait that long. Seeing as you don't have Muggle school work to do. I'll have to talk to Harry, but I'm sure we can think of something to help you learn."
"You're going to teach me magic," Hermione asked.
"Er … I was thinking Harry would do more of the teaching," Ron said rubbing the back of his head. "I barely learned the spells right when I was in school, and I doubt I'll know how to teach someone else. Harry helped us with defense in our fifth year and he was pretty good at getting me to understand things. I'm not sure if he would be up to helping in any other subject though."
"When do you think Mr. Ollivander will get back to you," Hermione asked feeling impatient, wanting to get her wand and then start learning spells already.
"I would imagine I'll get a response within a few hours, but I don't know what he will say," Ron smiled at her knowing what she was thinking. "But don't worry, you can use my wand today if you want to try more magic, and I was thinking tomorrow we can go to Harry's to start thinking about you lesson plans."
Hermione rolled her eyes at the obvious teasing but said, "Ron I want you to go to work tomorrow."
Ron frowned shaking his head, "we've been through this, I can't work as long …."
"I'm going to be okay," Hermione said looking into his eyes so he knew she was being completely truthful. "I'm so grateful that you're here, I don't think I would have made it through the day. I wouldn't have been able to think about the good things that I learned yesterday, and I'm not sure I would have thought to think about getting a wand and actually learning to do magic on my own. But I'm better now …."
"Hmph," Ron snorted at that.
"I didn't mean I would forget what happened, but I think I can function tomorrow," Hermione said.
"Alright," Ron sighed. "But I'm still going to take you to Harry's, so you won't be alone."
"I think I can handle being alone," Hermione said, though she wasn't completely sure that was true, she didn't like how he had made it seem like she needed a babysitter. "But I'm not going to argue with you after you mentioned starting lessons. Even if I can't do magic myself making a lesson plan would be helpful."
"I'm sure Harry will be pleased I volunteered him to be your professor," Ron chuckled.
O
It was during lunch that Ron got Ollivander's response saying that he would be able to meet them at the wand store Wednesday afternoon. Hermione wasn't sure if she was more annoyed or relieved that she would have to wait two days before she got her wand, but she tried to put that out of her mind. It was what it was. The rest of the day they had spent talking more about magic and Hermione even used Ron's wand again to cast several first-year spells. It felt incredible that she was able to do magic, and Ron was rather impressed by how she was able to do them perfectly just reading the spells and having him showing her an example.
The next morning, they went to Harry's like it was any other morning of the last few months, and it felt nice that she was able to fall back on this routine. She didn't want to tell Ron that she was a little worried about how much she was still thinking about her parents and what had happened, knowing that he was worrying about her already.
"So, you're a witch now," Harry had said once he opened the door and gave her a hug.
"I was a witch yesterday too," Hermione rolled her eyes at him glad that he wasn't looking at her differently. She was afraid that he would pity her after he learned what had happened in her past.
"Technically you've always been a witch," Ron put in and then pulled her to the side and kissed her. "Promise me you'll owl me if you need me."
"That's not going to happen, I know it," Hermione said truthfully, "but I do promise anyways."
"Thanks," Ron said kissing her quickly again before he left.
"So, Ron mentioned that you could help me learn magic," Hermione said later that afternoon, they had just put Bess down for her nap. Bess, who had noticed how sad Hermione was, didn't seem to want to leave her side, playing all sorts of games that really helped to cheer Hermione up a little.
"Did he?" Harry raised his eyebrows. "I was going to help you, but it feels a little more invasive if Ron was offering out my services."
Hermione smiled at him, "He said you'd be able to help me with defense if nothing else. I already seemed to be fairly good at Charms, I was able to do all the spells I tried yesterday ..."
"You have a wand already?" Harry asked surprised.
"No, I just used Ron's," Hermione said. "We're going to meet Mr. Ollivander on Wednesday. He said the wandmaker was the best at finding the best match of wand and witch."
"He is good at that," Harry nodded his head with an odd look. Noticing Hermione's frown at his expression he added. "Ollivander is bit … eccentric … he knows a lot about wandlore and is very enthusiastic about it. I'm sure you'll see what I mean."
"Okay," Hermione wasn't sure what else she could say about that.
"Well, since you don't have a wand, defense does seem like a good place to start today," Harry said. "We didn't learn any spells for that … well for years actually since we had crap teachers until Remus taught us. We should have learned something our first year, but only after several of lessons of reading the theory behind the spells. Have you read anything about defense yet?"
"I skimmed it a little," Hermione admitted, worried that she might have ruined his lesson plan, but Harry actually smiled.
"So do you have any questions about what you skimmed through?" Harry said, his lips thinned in amusement, knowing her, she read the whole book in entirety. "You can try using my wand if you are up to practicing the spells."
"Can … er … I try your wand now," Hermione said, not sure if that was something that she should ask. She was just wondering if it would feel different than Ron's.
"Sure," Harry said not seeming to be bothered by that as he reached in his pocket and then handed it to her.
"Hm," Hermione said once the wand was in her hand, it felt friendly to her touch, but it wasn't as warm. "Wingardium Leviosa." She then said pointing the wand at the book on the table in front of them and the book did float but Hermione was frowning.
"Is something wrong?" Harry asked.
"It just feels harder," Hermione said.
"Yes, wands are finicky about who they let use them," Harry said. "It seems like my wand likes you enough though, I've used a wand of an enemy once and I could hardly cast any charms with it. It must know we're friends."
Hermione handed him back his wand and was thinking about something that had been on her mind since she had discovered she was a witch. "Harry, do you think we would have been friends … if I had gone to Hogwarts?"
"Yes," Harry said simply, "though I'm not sure when we would have become friends, since I don't know what house you would have been in."
"You don't think I would have been in Gryffindor," Hermione frowned, knowing that was the house that Ron, Harry and Ginny (and all of the Weasleys) had been in.
"I think you would have made an excellent Gryffindor," Harry said. "And of course that would have been best because we probably would have been friends from the beginning. It's hard to make friends in other houses in first year.
"But I think you had a good chance at being placed into Ravenclaw," he added to get to what he was trying to say. "Then I'm not sure when we would have become friends, but it probably would have been when you and Ron started dating. And who knows how long that would have taken."
"You don't think we could have been friends before that?" Hermione frowned, though she like how he thought her and Ron being together was a foregone conclusion. "And without Ron."
"Hermione, I think that we would have been friends as soon as I got to know you," Harry answered honestly. "But you have to understand that I didn't really try to make friends outside of my house. Luna is the only one that I'm really friends with and that only happened because Ginny and her were friends first."
"I guess I see your point," Hermione said and then asked her next question quickly before she could chicken out. "Do you think I would have made a difference in the war?"
"Yes," Harry answered quickly and truthfully, it was what he had mostly been thinking about since finding out what she was, but he was still not sure he wanted her in the war. He liked that she hadn't been damaged by the effects of the war, and worst the thought that she might have died was hard to take. However, if she was there, maybe Ginny wouldn't have been cursed the way she had … maybe Fred or Charlie would have lived … maybe Sirius would have … Then there were the countless other lives that was lost that he didn't know personally …
"I'm sorry … I shouldn't have asked …" Hermione started to say but Harry shook his head.
"It's okay, Mione," Harry smiled at her. "It's just hard to think about what might have been."
"I know," Hermione said as her mind went to her parents and it was Harry's turned to apologize. They decided to start studying again until Bess woke up a few hours later and things got hectic.
O
On Wednesday Morning Hermione had gone to visit Ginny.
"You!" Ginny had exclaimed, glaring at Hermione like she hadn't done since the two had met. "You made me believe you! You said you were a Muggle! And now I find out you're a witch!"
"Ginny," Hermione gasped at this reaction not knowing what to do.
"You really are trying to steal my Harry! But you can't now, I've sank my claws in him and I'm never letting anyone take him, so you'll just have to settle for my brother, you horrible witch!" Ginny went on, trying to keep up her anger but after Hermione rolled her eyes halfway through her speech, she finished off laughing.
"Ginny, you really had me going there for a moment," Hermione said shaking her head. She had worried how the younger woman would take her sudden emergence as a witch. She didn't really have time to pay her that much attention on Sunday before they left for Hogwarts so quickly.
"Sorry, it was too good to pass up," Ginny chuckled. "I'm probably going to start bouncing off the walls in ten minutes because I used up all my emotions, but it was worth it to see your expression."
"So, you're okay with me being a witch now," Hermione said seriously.
"Sure, though it would have been nice if you gave me a little warning," Ginny shrugged. "I would have been able to enjoy my family's reactions better instead of forcing myself to stay focused. But this doesn't change who you are. Besides, Harry told me what happened to you … I'm so sorry."
"Thanks," Hermione said emotionlessly.
"Right, don't say I'm sorry," Ginny noted though she still felt bad for her friend she realized that Hermione didn't want pity any more than she did. "So, how many spells have you learned?"
"Er," Hermione said, shocked by the abrupt subject change, "twenty-two."
"Yes!" Ginny cheered. "I bet George you would have learned at least twenty spells by the time you first visited me. You came a little earlier than I thought, and I know you don't have your own wand yet, so I was worried that you might not have managed."
"Well, I'm glad I didn't disappoint you," Hermione shook her head again. "I was able to use both Ron and Harry's wand so …"
"You touched Harry's wand! How dare you!" Ginny gasped.
"Ginny!" Hermione groaned, her face turning red. "You know what I met."
After that the two girls started talking like they normally do when Hermione visited and were joined by Harry and Bess by lunch. As they spent the rest of the afternoon together with her friends, Hermione couldn't help but feel relieved. Though she hadn't realized until this moment, a part of her had been worried that one or more of her friends would have rejected her after learning she was a witch. Irrational as that thought might be, seeing as they were wizards and witches themselves, this fear had still been in the back of her mind, but now it was gone. Because she knew they had accepted her.
O
"Does it feel different here now that you know you're a witch?" Ron asked as he watched his girlfriend looking around Diagon Alley much like she did the first time they were here a month ago.
"I supposed it does," Hermione said, "it's not like it actually feels different, it's just that last time I was excited to be here, but I knew that I was just an outsider looking in. Now though … now I know that I actually belong here. So, in that way, it does feel different."
When they got to the door of the wand store Hermione stopped and just looked at it, and Ron waited patiently until she was ready. He remembered quite well how he felt coming her when he was thirteen, that nervous anticipation that he felt when he knew he was going to get his own wand. "Ready," he said when her look turned resolved and she nodded her head so he opened the door.
"Aw, Mr. Weasley, Willow fourteen and quarter inches, flexible with unicorn hair core," Ollivander said as soon as the two entered the store. "It is unusual that you would have two wands that were so similar …."
"You're the one that made my second wand for me," Ron reminded the older wizard, he remembered the conversation he had with the man so many years ago.
"Indeed," Ollivander said, "and I have made many wands for wizards or witches that I have known and therefore create a suitable pairing and never before were their new wand so closely similar to the one that I made for them."
"I guess I'm just lucky like that," Ron shrugged. "My first wand had a unicorn hair core too, though I couldn't tell you what kind of wood it was, it definitely wasn't willow."
"No, I believe it was ash, if I'm not mistaken that it once belonged to your brother," Ollivander said kindly.
"Yeah, it had been Charlie's wand before he replaced it," Ron sighed thinking about his first wand. Ollivander had informed him the last time that he saw the old man that that particular wand was not very suitable for anyone but it's original owner, and wondered how Ron had handled the wand as well has he had. Not to mention the old man had said that he was surprised that willow was still the best wand for him because he would have thought Ron had more confidence in himself now that he was a survivor of the wizarding world, but that clearly Ron still had plenty of potential left to show, if he so chose.
"Aw, and you must be Miss Granger," Ollivander moved on to the young woman in his shop, looking her over as he went through his normal process of figuring out a suitable match. "Mr. Weasley tells me that you never had a wand before now."
"No, due to regrettable circumstances I just found out I was a witch," Hermione explained.
"Mm," Ollivander said looking thoughtful and then he looked around the shop and nodded his head with a small smile before he walked to the back room.
"What …?" Hermione said confused by the wandmakers sudden disappearance and Ron was just about to explain to her when Ollivander returned with a box held in front of him.
"I believe …" Ollivander started to say when sparks started to fly out of the box he was holding.
"Wow!" Ron explained as Hermione gasped.
"This would be a suitable wand," Ollivander stated proudly, and he held the box out to Hermione so she could actually hold the wand. "Vine ten and three quarters inches long, dragon-heartstring, very good at finding hidden depth in their owners."
Hermione picked up the wand and it felt so different than the other wands she held. Both of the wands had felt friendly towards her, and Ron's had even felt welcoming, but this was different. This wand felt like it belonged in her hand. And the sparks that came when she actually held the wand were spectacular.
"As soon as I really looked at you, I knew that you would be suited to a vine wand," Ollivander said with a smug smile. "Not only that, with the long wait the wand would have, I would have thought it would have made its presence known as soon as you walked in. However, it seems that the wands have been reorganized quite a bit since the last time I have been in this store."
"Do you miss being here," Ron asked frowning.
"I miss this part," Ollivander answered, "watching the perfect pairing of wand and witch. But I must confess that I am not comfortable being here," he added sadly his eyes going distant.
"Shite, I didn't even think about that," Ron groaned, remembering only now that Ollivander was taken from this very shop.
"This is the only place that has everything that was needed," the old wandmaker waved this off.
"You said the wand had a long wait?" Hermione said.
"Naturally," Ollivander said. "Most of these wands were made decades ago, some have even been made before I was born. Your wand was made thirty-seven years ago, and has now waited an extra twelve years for you to come and claim it."
"You make it sound like these wands are made for the witch or wizard," Hermione frowned.
"Oh, for the most part they are not made for anyone," Ollivander said. "Mr. Weasley owns one of only twenty-two wands that I have made for a certain witch or wizard in mind. It is no easy task to make a wand with a singular person in mind, and there are times when such wands are utter failures, though I am pleased to say none of the wands I had made have been as such. That is because I don't try to force a connection between wand and wizard, but use materials and methods that allows that connection to exist."
"I don't think I'm following," Hermione frowned.
"I have always believed the wand chooses the wizard, or witch," Ollivander said kindly. "The wands known when their match comes and usually they don't show signs of working properly to anyone but who they belong to. Vine wands in particular don't work at all for anyone but who they belong to, and as I said and you saw, they let you know when that person comes."
"I think I'm going to have to read more about wandlore," Hermione said still looking overwhelmed by what Ollivander was saying.
"I will be happy to send you a few of my favorite books, if you would like," Ollivander said and Hermione's head started to nod before he could even finished.
"I would appreciate that," Hermione said, "and for all the help you gave us today. Thank you."
"I owe you one," Ron said shaking the hand of the wandmaker, and soon the couple was leaving the shop.
A/N: So, this is another new chapter. In my original story Hermione had bought her wand before her memory was erased but this time since I didn't have that I thought it would be nice to have her go and since I was going to do that, I thought it might be nice to show a little more reaction about Hermione being a witch. This chapter still feels like a filler to me, but seeing as there are only three more real chapters and at least two more filler chapters left in this story I thought I might as well write this. I hope you liked it.