"Got it," Xander said cheerfully, "Master Mechanic."
"Master Mechanic lets you fix and repair any vehicle up to your current tech level, sci-fi vehicles such as space ships only applicable after either a science talent has been purchased or you've spent enough time studying the vehicle in question," Barbie listed off. "The ability to drive or pilot said vehicle is included since you'd need to be able to test the vehicle to ensure your repairs were complete."
"That's a very nice skill pack," Amelia said, "and much better than spending five points on Professional Driver, which only allows you to perform high speed stunts with ground vehicles."
"It's a ten point perk, but it grows with your skill level," Barbie said. "I would have suggested a twenty point science skill that does similar to a greater degree, but you'd have needed to purchase an upgrade to your Perk Sharing to give it to Buffy."
"Yeah, I'm going to need to upgrade Perk Sharing at some point, but you know the saying, 'Perfect is the enemy of good'," Xander said as he purchased it, placing him at a total of nineteen points in debt to the company.
"I've never heard that saying," Buffy said.
"If you spend all your time trying to make things perfect you'll never make anything good," Xander explained. "Perfect doesn't exist, make something good and be happy about it."
Buffy felt something click in her mind. "How often have you told Willow that?"
"Just about every week for our entire lives," Xander said with a sigh. "Her parents, who are supposed to be psychologists, have told her over and over that she has to get things perfect, so I've spent a lot of time talking her down and reminding her that 'perfect' is a meaningless concept. I've managed to convince her to just do a fantastic job at anything she does because she's an amazing person, but that trying for perfection is hubris that's an offense to God."
"We are all huge balls of neurosis," Buffy said with a grin. "Glad it's not only me."
"Yep, but we're also getting better day by day," he said with a smile.
"Don't try and be better than someone else, try and be better than the person you were yesterday," Barbie offered.
"Never mention that to Willow," Xander said. "As true as it is, she'll still end up making charts and trying to defeat her older self. At some point time travel would somehow end up involved and that's a headache none of us want."
"Not even going to argue," Buffy said, "I could see that happening. So let's change the subject. How did you find a driving skill that fast, that does so much more?"
"Easy, I didn't," Xander said. "I used the Z-Network chat feature to enter a chat room called Xan-man's Top Twenty and posted a question about it. One of the Xander's who is older and wiser sent me the link."
"I thought Agent Xander's were rare," Buffy said.
"It's mostly bored husbandos, a couple of agent Xander's, and about two dozen agents who have my template," he replied with a grin. "Naturally being me, we try to help each other."
"Networking is a valuable skill," Amelia said, pleased. "Most people tend to avoid their alternates rather than make connections with them however."
"Most people just aren't as awesome as me," Xander said, puffing out his chest and getting the expected giggles.
"Us Barbie's try and keep in contact with each other and network, but since I'm a Terminator with a template that was on a housekeeping assignment, it's not been something I've been able to do," Barbie admitted.
"What can we do about that?" Xander asked Amelia.
"For one point I can add Company cell phones for all your waifus," the adjuster suggested. "Text messaging from off dimension will be limited to burst transmissions once a day while you're on contract so they don't interfere, but it'll allow them to freely contact each other and the company as well as any other contacts they make."
"Send me a link," Xander said, calling his phone to his hand and tapping the purchase button when it appeared.
"Twenty points in the red," Amelia noted. "Normally I'd suggest buying a Sick Ride for what you have planned on the next contract, but since you have Master Mechanic it'd be more frugal to repair an airship found on site. The options will be more limited, but it should suffice."
"I can't wait till the bindings kick in," Barbie said with a bright smile. "Oh, I almost forgot, we need to restock the kitchen since you have guests."
"It should be automatic, but that's on a timer," Xander said. "How much gold would it cost for an instant restock?"
"Two ounces or three if you want to add in all the luxury items," Barbie replied.
Xander summoned three one ounce gold coins and passed them to Barbie. "Here you go."
Barbie closed her eyes and the coins vanished. "Restocking fee paid and everything has been replenished," she said when she opened them. "I've got a connection to household services," she explained at Buffy's curious look.
"So, any other business we need to take care of while we're all here?" Xander asked.
"I'm still looking through contracts," Amelia said. "The best one I've found is for an extremely low power superhero world, the only heroes reside in New York and the zombie apocalypse seems to have been caused by a weight loss drug. It's a bit more dangerous than I'd like as the zombies are the rage type, brain damaged humans turned to mindless cannibals, but it does fit the criteria."
"Ouch," Xander said. "I feel for the poor bastards and the kindest thing you could do for them would be to put them out of their misery, but I would prefer someplace a tad safer. "What's the details?"
"Thirty point contract, eighty hours of surface time, and as much data as you can collect in that time, though they do prioritize government and medical data over just general collections. Due to the increased danger inherent in the job they are offering a disease resistance perk in addition to the standard addition to inventory."
"How dangerous are rage zombies?" Buffy asked.
"Three to five times human strength and speed, can't feel pain, intelligence level of a rabid dog," Amelia replied. "Their bite is infectious, however the disease resistance perk negates that danger."
"We could handle it if we were careful," Xander said. "How time sensitive is it? We can't really afford to do it all in one go with school and all."
"They require a minimum of twenty hours a week progress as most agents who take on the contract will only manage a couple of hours a day before needing to recover and heal up," Amelia replied.
"We get an airship, we can easily handle it," Buffy told Xander.
Xander nodded. "We do have a unique set of skills that make us perfect for that contract even at our tier level."
"As long as zombies never learn to fly we're golden," Buffy joked.
Xander grinned. "Unless you find a better contract between now and Thursday morning we'll accept that one."
"Yes, sir," Amelia said, making a quick note.
"Well... back to the grind," Xander said, getting up.
"Shouldn't we have done that before taking a bath?" Buffy asked. "I mean, we did, but..."
"I can't tell if you're messing with me or not," Xander said, before Buffy burst out laughing. "Yeah, you got me."
Buffy stood up and smirked as she saw his eyes following the water running down her naked form. 'I'm never going to get tired of that,' she thought to herself.
"See you all tomorrow," Xander said, "we can soak in the bath again while we discuss whatever."
"So, what's the plan now?" Buffy asked Xander as he waved a hand down his body, causing the water to flow off him.
"Well for one... Radar," Buffy called out, sending all the water on her flying off in all directions.
"Shield," Xander said smugly as the water he was splattered with ran off the thin telekinetic shield he'd put around himself.
"That is so cheating," Buffy complained with a pout.
"Only because I thought of it first," he teased.
"Exactly, you have to let me win when I do these things," Buffy said. "I let you get away with awful jokes, you let me prank you."
"You groan aloud when I make horrible jokes," Xander reminded her as they went down the stairs.
"Some of those were slay worthy," Buffy assured him, trying to sound earnest.
"If you fake laughed at my jokes then I would let you prank me," Xander argued, "but since you groan you have to actually out think me to prank me."
"I let you get away with calling my boyfriend Deadboy," Buffy pointed out. "Well, ex-boyfriend anyway." she frowned. "Can you do something nice for him to make up for stealing his girl?"
Xander winced. "I suppose I could. I'll check on the Xander chat room and see what they suggest."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I don't think a stake to the heart is the right call here."
"They may suggest something else," he offered halfheartedly.
"Xander, you've all but convinced me that killing Angel when you first met him was the kindest thing you could do for him," she said dryly.
"He's a ghost, possessing a demon, that's possessing his own corpse," Xander said. "Angel is a demonic turducken."
Buffy sighed and they paused in the living room as she turned Xander to face her. "Angel is trying to make up for all the evil Angelus has done."
"I will admit he's been a great deal of help at times," Xander said, "but he's also a centuries old disease ridden corpse who was dating a high school girl."
Buffy winced and changed tactics, "He's staked dozens of vamps and with your help could stake countless others."
"But then again he does mean well," Xander said. "I'll check with my other selves, at least one of them probably has a better idea than 'stake him outside so I don't have to vacuum'."
"Promise?" Buffy asked.
"I promise," Xander said. "If I have to, I'll look for an Angel chatroom. The multiverse is big enough there is bound to be at least a couple of him moping around."
"Thank you, that means a lot to me," Buffy said.
"Which is the only reason I'm doing it," Xander said. "Now, let's go outside and see how much your driving skills have improved."
As the door closed behind the two, Cake turned to Margo. "Superheroes live some fucked up lives."
"Anyone who has ever read a comic book could have told you that," Nat said.
"I've got Arnold Schwarzenegger as Dr. Grant with Charlton Heston playing Dr. Hammond," Sully offered.
Sarah grinned. "That is the strangest version of Jurassic Park I've ever heard of. Pop it in."
"Fine, but Nicholas Cage playing Superman is next," Margo said.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"A port-a-potty?" Buffy asked Xander, doubt in her voice.
"It's never been used," he explained, "and unlike the plastic sheds they make it's weighted to keep from blowing over."
Buffy looked around the empty plastics factory, hoping for a better choice. "Where's a blue police box when you need one?"
"That's actually a good idea," Xander said thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure I can get one through the Z-Network with a basic SEP field on it cheap, but for the moment let's just grab this blue port-a-potty, it's clean, weighted to not blow over, and most importantly... portable."
Buffy sighed. "All very good points... I've just never liked using them when I could avoid it, plus I had some drunk guy try and follow me into one once at a concert in LA."
Xander frowned. "I promise we'll ditch it as soon as we can find something better."
Buffy opened the door and leaned in, taking a deep sniff. "This one seems okay, just smells like plastic."
Xander found himself being drug inside the large plastic enclosure. "What?"
"I still need the Master Mechanic perk," she reminded him with a grin.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"How'd you get Xander's phone?" Dawn asked.
"I didn't," Willow said absently, "it looks like Xander purchased phones for all of us." She was rapidly scrolling through a number of screens. "It looks like we can send text messages, but they are only sent once a day while he's in another universe."
"Another universe?" Kendra asked, surprised.
"Yeah, the zombie apocalypse is in another timeline," Willow replied, "that's part of the reason they're going to be gone all week."
"I've never had to deal with mummies, mantis demons, or alternate timelines as a Slayer," Kendra said.
"Welcome to the Hellmouth," Willow said, "we've also had to deal with robots, possessions, an invisible girl, and a snake demon some frat was sacrificing girls to for money and power."
"Hey, I got one too," Dawn said cheerfully, as her new phone appeared in her hand.
"Those are phones?" Cordelia asked in disbelief.
"They're issued by the company Xander works for," Willow said, completely fascinated by all the functions it had. "They can take pictures, record videos, play videos... and a ton of other features."
"My phone is the latest on the market and it's like a giant brick," Cordelia said. "Pretty sure Buffy could have used it to kill the mantis lady."
Both their phones made a ping noise and Willow and Dawn quickly located the text function.
"I got sent a hug and a bunch of pictures," Dawn said with a smile as she brought them up.
Everyone crowded around to see.
"Are they in the future?!" Cordelia demanded. "Look at those cars!"
"That is a lot of zombies," Harmony said in shock.
"I can see why they needed a Slayer," Kendra said. "I don't know that, that world can be saved."
"Looks like Buffy got more than a few perks," Dawn said smugly.
"Yeah, he definitely gave her the Black Panther power-up," Willow agreed, licking her lips, "look at those abs."
"She is a were creature now?" Kendra guessed.
"No, Xander gave Willow, and now Buffy, a power-up that matches the Black Panther from Marvel Comics," Dawn explained as Willow checked her own phone.
"T'Challa?!" Kendra asked excitedly.
"That's the one," Willow agreed, eyes wide as she paged through the photos she'd been sent.
"Hey, why'd you get nude photos and I didn't?!" Dawn demanded.
"I'm older," Willow replied smugly, wishing she'd gone with them.
"Only by like a year or so," Dawn complained.
"Your mom will probably want to look at your phone at some point," Cordelia pointed out.
"Good point," Dawn said, looking over Willow's shoulder at the pictures of the two and even a couple of clips of them pretending to do the Wonder Woman spin and their clothes appearing on them.
"Should they be naked during a zombie apocalypse?" Harmony asked. "That just seems to be asking for trouble."
"That was just them teasing me," Willow said with a grin, "plus the Black Panther thing makes their skin too tough for the zombies to bite through."
"And he can give that to anyone?" Kendra asked hopefully.
"He has to boink them," Cordelia joked.
Kendra looked at the picture of Xander and Buffy standing on top of a building naked with streets filled with zombies below them and began to blush.
Willow rolled her eyes. "Intimacy, not sex. Baring your soul works just as well, it's just... sex is easier."
"And I think Buffy had to sign a temporary contract and join him on the job for that to work," Dawn offered.
"They seem strangely cheerful for being in an apocalypse," Harmony said.
"That world is dead, the company told him they wanted him to collect gold, but he said that turned out to be a lie they use because it's easier for agents to understand as they hire a lot of idiots," Willow explained. "Their actual job is to gather data so the company can prevent the disaster in neighboring timelines. Just hanging around on the surface and collecting newspapers and magazines is probably enough, but it's hard to get people to understand that, so they tell them they're there to collect gold."
"So they are saving multiple worlds from that fate," Kendra said.
Willow nodded. "Yeah, and Buffy says they found and evacuated some survivors as well. She's pretty pleased about that."
"And the gold?" Cordelia asked.
"They can keep all that, the company doesn't need it," Willow replied.
"Seriously?" Cordelia asked in disbelief. "So they get to keep all the gold they can carry off with their super strength?"
Harmony poked Willow in the shoulder. "You really don't mind if I go after him?"
Willow looked up from her phone. "Ten peni, nine prehensile, maybe ten depending on how much of Dawn's plastic girl power he has."
Harmony just waited until Willow sighed.
"I really don't mind you trying to date Xander as long as you aren't trying to play with him or hurt his feelings," Willow told her.
"Just wanted to make triple sure," Harmony said, "because I know I sometimes miss subtle clues other people give."
"She wouldn't know subtle if it smacked her with a two by four," Cordelia told Dawn and Kendra.
"I'll try to be very clear with you," Willow promised Harmony who smiled and hugged her tightly enough that if she hadn't been enhanced it might have bruised her ribs.
"So... how do I sign up for a limited contract?" Cordelia asked Dawn, Kendra leaning forward to hear as well.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
AN: These chapters just flow so easily! Hopefully they'll come equally as fast when I figure out a plot to go with them. Not sure about an ending but as you know that's never stopped me before!