'''All's Fair In Oven War''' Marge, jealous of Ruth's new hi tech kitchen wants one, but to save money Homer tries to build it himself only to cause mishaps. When she eventually gets her new kitchen it's just in time for the annual film festival as she cooks wasabi chicken wings and drumsticks while Ned writes a very violent film about the bible after being disappointed with how filthy TV was getting, despite him locking out every channel except the Christian one.
== Plot ==
The Simpsons go to the park only to find it full of junk. "This place is dump!" Marge was disappointed in the appearance of the park. There was litter everywhere.
"Ugh..." Lisa sighed.
"Ooooooh! They took all the prid..." said Homer as someone took letters from a sign that once said Pride but now just said E.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Oscar was taking the Mick out of a kid at his old remedial or disabled kids school who had a verbal tic involving the letter E.
Bart glared at him.
"This whole place is disgusting!" said a lady.
"I agree- hey! You're that crazy cat lady aren't you?" Marge replied before realising the lady who spoke was Crazy Cat Lady.
"Why yes I am. But thanks to this psychoactive medication, I enjoy brief moments of lucidity." said Crazy Cat Lady.
"Those are just Reece's pieces." said Marge.
Crazy Cat Lady returned to her usually mad self and screamed and yelled while throwing cats at everyone.
Cats screeched and latched onto their, the Simpsons that is, faces with their claws.
The Simpsons ran away while fighting with cats that were scratching them to pieces and ripping their clothes while screeching and hissing. They pulled the cats off of themselves and the cats ran back to the crazy cat lady.
"Someone needs to clean up this park." said Bart tidying up his hair after the cat attack.
"I know, Mom why don't you hold a fair? You're always doing good things for charity!" said Lisa.
"Alright I will!" said Marge.
"Uh, I think someone got there first." said Bart. In the park marquee was a fair to clean up the park. It had been set up by Principal Skinner.
"D'ooooohh!" Marge groaned annoyed someone got there first. "Always stealing my thunder!"
They then saw Jurkle, Oscar's Jewish friend at school and his parents.
Jurkle had been car sick earlier so he was drinking a homemade ginger elixir his mom made. She doesn't like buying synthetic stuff from the store.
"You have such weird friends..." said Homer to Oscar. Oscar frowned at him.
...
They took part in the carnival games because they were fun.
"Grrrrr! People having fun and not screaming in agony while I reduce their world to ashes... that just burns me up!" Flamo, the blue living fire being from Futurama seethed.
"The sun burns me up... I'm a vampire." said Ace.
Flamo ignored him.
Bart won a big octopus plush with sunglasses and showed off to his Dad.
"Ha! I'm beating you and I'm only ten!" said Bart showing off with his octopus plush with sunglasses.
Homer then tried the frog game and won a higher score simply from the frog flying about everywhere and bouncing off the lily pads. He got Bart's octopus plush.
"Ay carumba!" Bart whined as Homer took his octopus plush.
And started showing off and making a fool of himself to humiliate Bart. However Ned was recording him.
"Excuse me, may I have a copy of that amusing recording." said Comic Book Guy.
"Well, not really it's a private video of my neighbor for a few tender chuckles over the holidays." said Ned.
"Well too bad, I'm already downloading it to my Mapple laptop!" said Comic Book Guy plugging in a cable to Ned's video camera.
Meanwhile in an Internet cafe Jimbo an his friends were watching funny videos on Comic Book Guy's website.
"Here's a new one. Big ass Baryshnikov." said Dolph. They watched the video which was of Homer riding on the octopus plush and making a fool of himself.
The bullies laughed at the video. "Time to make this video viral!" Jimbo said as he sent it across the world. It ended up in France where French kids went Onhonhonhon! when laughing. Then to Japan where they had high pitched laughs. And finally Botswana where they don't know how to laugh and just speak in tongue clicking language.
Soon Homer was the laughingstock of the whole of Springfield.
At the carnival Jurkle had too much of his mom's home made ginger beer and was doing a pee pee dance.
"Jurkle have you got ants in your pants?" Ace asked.
"No I gotsa go to the toilet! Now!" Jurkle ran off to the toilets.
...
Meanwhile at the fair auction Ruth won a food processor. A very expensive food processor.
"Hmmmm! I didn't think Ruth could afford that what with her ex not paying child support..." said Marge.
Bart was being cheeky to Homer again. "Hey Fat wad!"
"Ha! Fat wad! I love it!" A random background character laughed.
"Why you little! I'll teach you to amuse people by insulting me!" Homer throttled Bart.
(Bart wheezing and gasping.)
Hugo bit Homer's leg.
"Sonnuva!" Homer seethed dropping Bart.
"Hmmmmmm, I haven't spoke to Ruth lately, maybe I should see her..." said Marge.
"Yeah you got annoyed because she kept undermining you by supporting Homer's brief cannabis smoking thing." said Oscar.
"Hmmmmmm... yes Oscar but still, we should see her." said Marge.
"I agree, we should go and see Ruth." said Bart.
"Bart you're just saying that because you have a weird crush of Laura who is way older than you!" said Lisa.
"THE HAAAAAAAAND!" Bart's hand was filthy with gum and other unpleasant things again.
Lisa screamed.
And so after the fair they paid a visit to Ruth's. She had a new very hi tech kitchen.
"Oh my! A bread maker maker!" said Marge. A machine that made bread makers made a bread making machine! XD
"Marge! A walk in microwave oven!" said Homer taking some unpopped popcorn kernels and going into the microwave. It turned on. However it just set light to him.
"Oh my! Homer get out of there!" Marge warned him.
"Cooooool!" said Bart thinking of all the mischief he could get up to with a microwave oven large enough to stand in.
Homer screamed and ran out on fire.
"Ruth, how can you afford all this?" Marge asked.
"Successfully sued my ex husband for every single penny he owned." said Ruth.
"Oh." said Marge.
...
At Home Marge really wanted a new kitchen as their's was falling apart.
"Look at this drywall!" said Marge tapping a wall. The plaster cracked to form a picture of the Simpsons sitting on the couch.
Homer laughed at the image. Eventually he stopped when Marge frowned at him. "Okay, but I'm not paying for parts and labour. Pick one you greedy assholes!" Homer ranted.
They hired Raphael but he was too expensive according to Homer so he threw him out.
"Get out..." Homer sent him on his way.
Marge sighed.
"I can do this myself Marge." said Homer. He started by smashing up the kitchen with a sledgehammer. However he hit a power line and electrocuted himself "Daaaaaaaghhghgglblblbl!" Homer screamed before being thrown against the fridge leaving an indentation. "Hmmmmm! Let's do same exact thing!" He whacked the power line again and got zapped and thrown across the kitchen. He kept doing it.
Oscar laughed as he watched Homer get zapped and go flying.
Marge sighed.
Then while talking to Marge about his shoddy DIY a light fixture fell off of the ceiling and pornographic magazines fell out.
Homer screamed. "How did they get there?!"
Marge glared at him and once again reminded him that he should only have eyes for her now that he was married.
"Um... um... They're Oscar's!" Homer lies running away.
"Homer! How?! He's only a child?!" Marge found that hard to believe.
Oscar looked shifty while reading a hard core tentacle monster hentai manga. With big breasted anime girls and tentacle monsters.
He drooled aroused.
Then Marge came in to find Homer had used far too much plaster for the ceiling as she had to crawl into the kitchen. "Hmmmmm! Homer I think you've used a tad too much plaster. By the way where's the cat?"
Snowball II's muffled meows could be heard from somewhere.
"That's it I'm calling a professional!" said Marge breaking through the plaster to get at the kitchen phone that got encased in it and rang a professional.
Homer groaned thinking how much this was gonna cost him.
...
Meanwhile Rod and Todd were watching TV when Ned came to see what they were watching.
It seemed to be wholesome programme about a boy and his grandparents living in a rural area.
"Grampa can you play football with me?" said the boy holding an American football.
"No son, me and your grandma are going inside to have old people sex! Thank you America!" said the Grampa as a logo came up.
Ned was horrified. "There's nothing but filth on this TV! I thought I could trust Christian Channel 232!" He switched of the Tv. "Luckily with this camera we can make our own entertainment!"
Ned took the boys into the backyard to record a film about Cain and Abel. The two sons of Adam and Eve. It was also the story of the first ever murder on Earth.
"Now our movie I going to be about the first and some might say, best murder mystery. The story of Cain and Abel."
"Daddy. If Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve's only children how did they make more babies?" Todd asked.
"Did they make them with their mother or with each other?" Rod asked.
"Your mouth is hoping for a soaping boy! Now stop asking silly questions and go kill your brother!" said Ned.
Rod stared at his cardboard dagger before lunging at Todd. Todd screamed.
Oscar laughed.
"Oz what's so funny?" Hugo asked.
"Oh Ned's doing something sort of project... And whatever it is he just told Rod to kill Todd... hehehe..." said Oscar watching the Flanders.
Elsewhere because in canon Homer said one of Stewie's catchphrases.
"Victory is mine! Kiss my behind! Victory is mine! Kiss my behind!" Stewie chanted. "You know Brian, this has a nice ring to it."
"Stewie I'm too busy not finishing my novel or plagiarising other books to pad it out." said Brian.
"Yeah inexplicably here we're suddenly in a scene from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets..." said Stewie.
A tennis ball flew over head.
"What the deuce?!" said Stewie surprised.
"Yes Stewie, Inexplicably Tennis Star younger Quagmire is Deuce or drawing with Roger Federer." said Brian. "Oh wait! I'm a dog! I love tennis balls! Woof woof woof!" He ran off barking while chasing the tennis ball.
...
A professional decorator came to the Simpsons to start redecorating their kitchen. However Homer was making a nuisance of himself in the background.
Homer seething and tutting in the background.
"Um excuse my husband, he's rather humiliated right no that I've had to call you.
"That's alright ma'am. Most of my jobs involve cleaning up after husbands too proud to ask for help." said the builder.
"Uh mine was just too stingy with money." said Marge.
"That too," said the builder/decorator.
"Yeah sure Marge. Throw money away when we've got four kids to feed!" Homer yelled.
"Just ignore him." Marge sighed as she spoke to the builder/decorator.
"Why don't you just snog my wife already! You already have my money!" Homer yelled.
"Uh sir, I'm gay. But my assistant Angelo does that though." said the decorator. The camera pans round to Angelo the chewing guy who also now works as a decorator and snogs people.
"Y-y-yes! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!" Angelo made kissing sounds.
Eventually the builders were finished. Homer and Marge found themselves in a beautiful high tech kitchen.
"What a lovely kitchen. That I paid for!" said Homer before crying. The kids came in. "(Sobbing) Oh boy, I'm sorry but mommy spent all our money on a new kitchen. You'll have to go back in the attic!" said Homer to Hugo while crying.
"Homer!" Marge told him off. "It was a needed refurbishment and it wasn't that much money compared to what you spend!"
Homer scoffed.
"So Mom what are you gonna cook first in here?" Bart asked.
"I was thinking chicken wings." said Marge.
"That seems rather basic Mom." said Lisa.
"Oh I have a little culinary secret in this tall blue hair of mine! Hehehehe!" said Marge giggling.
"I hope it's pie. Mmmmmmmm pie..." said Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear.
"Teddy, Mom just said she was making chicken wings..." Bart sighed.
Hugo was scratching himself like a dog does when it has fleas.
"Yes but I LIKE PIE!" Teddy yelled.
== Plot 2 ==
While Marge cooked Bart, Hugo and Oscar watched TV.
"And now back to Blackula meets black Dracula.
Dracula from Grim Adventures was dancing with Blackula in a disco.
"Okay Dracula, we're shutting down this disco to open up a hockey ring!" said the councillor.
"You mean a honkey ring!" said Blackula.
"Dracula have no time for sports dummy! Dracula have to call his good friend skeleton man!" said Dracula.
The councillor screamed as the black vampires drained him of his blood by biting him.
"Oscar you have the strangest taste in programmes..." said Bart.
Fast forward to a festival/party at the church. Everyone was invited to bring a dish for the buffet with them. The church board said "Good Luck: A friend we have in cheese puffs." Nelson stole some letters.
Inside Moe was insulting all the food. "Bland. Yuck. Meatorole, casserloaf... Oh!" He stopped at a plata of green chicken wings!
"Marge Simpson's wasabi buffalo wings?!" said Carl surprised by the unusual recipe.
"Oh! An eastern twist on a western New York favourite!" said Lenny before eating one.
Based on everyone's eager reactions and joyful eating sounds and mmmmmms, they must have asbestos tongues to stomach wasabi..."
"These are going straight to my thighs! And I say, Bon voyage!" said Mr Largo.
"What do you you think Thomas Pynchon?" said Lisa.
"Nobody cares Lisa! And why do you have a paper bag on your head for?! Are you just hideously ugly or something?" Largo rudely insulted Thomas Pynchon.
"Uh no Mr Largo. Thomas Pynchon is a Quantum Lichen, no one can look at his face without getting their souls ripped out of their body!" said Lisa.
"Life force Lisa." said Professor Frink. "We'll have none of that hocus pucus mumbo jumbo here."
But Professor this is a church..." said Lisa.
Meanwhile other people gave their comments.
"These chicken wings are divine!" said Sideshow Mel. "A huzzah for Marge!"
Huzzah! Everyone cheered.
"And a huzzah for my husband who paid for the kitchen I made them in!" said Marge.
"Never!" said Sideshow Mel.
...
Lovejoy then called for attention as the event of the festival was about to begin. Ned's bible movie. Everyone took their seets in the actual church interior from the Sunday School classroom where the buffet was.
The film started. It was called the passion of Cain and Abel.
A naked Ned with a leaf on his groin was Adam.
"Boys, God is vacuuming heaven for when dead people show up! He wants you to render him a sacrifice!" said Ned as Adam.
"I sacrifice all my finest livestock and Grain!" said Todd as Abel. He had an impressive pile of freshly killed farm animals and crops and grains.
Rod as Cain just had rotten skunks and foxes and a few twigs.
"I have found favour with our Lord!" said Todd.
"So shall thy knife find favour with thou belly!" yelled Rod before stabbing Todd to death violently! Coooooool!
"Cooooool! Blood!" said Oscar cheering.
"I didn't know Rod could be so badass!" said Bart joyfully.
"Bart! Language!" said Marge.
People shushed her.
Devil Ned then appeared laughing with maggots pouring out of his mouth.
"Aaaaaagh! Devil Ned wants my soul again!" Homer screamed.
"I do not!" said Ned watching his film.
Then flaming newspapers with headlines flashed up.
"Massachusetts legalises Gay Marriage."
Marge gasped and glared angrily at Ned for encouraging homophobia.
"Stem Cells cure Alzheimer's."
"Hot diggity! I'm off to get some of those plant whatchacallits!" said Abe heading off to the stem cell clinic.
Marge got increasingly angry.
"Now I have to bury my son, while you must walk the Earth alone with the mark of evil upon your face forever!" said Ned as Adam to Cain.
Rod turned round to show he had a horribly deformed face Half melted on one side and an eye hanging out of its socket.
Everyone screamed in horror.
"Cooooool!" Bart cheered.
The movie ended.
Marge grumbled as everyone cheered.
...
On the ride home the kids were very joyful and chatting about Ned's violent movie. However Marge was furious.
"Everyone seemed to like it, but I'm surprised at Ned! He left out all the good times Cain and Abel had together." said Marge.
"But he is just staying true to the bible Mom. Which is pretty violent." said Lisa.
"And sexy!" said Bart. "King David stole someone's wife! Jesus married a hooker! Hahahaha!"
"Bart! Where are you learning all these things?!" Marge asked.
"They're all in this book..." said Bart holding a book labled "The Bible for smartasses." with a picture of the Dennis the menace looking boy Wiggum once drew as an E-fit for Bart when someone reported his shoplifting to the authorities.
Marge grumbled as they drove home.
Everyone sat in awkward silence.
"I think your mother's mad..." said Homer in a loud whisper.
Marge seethed.
"I'm wet..." Oscar whined as he had a wet diaper.
Marge screamed.
"Okay were all going to Phineas Q Butterfats honey while you cool off." said Homer as they all fled the car, leaving Marge.
However Italians on a bus with Mario annoyed Homer again.
"Look at the Internet monkey!" said the bus driver.
Homer roars and hoots like an ape and throws trash cans.
"Oh mamma mia! calm ah so down Homerio! Woohoo!" said Mario.
Homer roared and threw a trash can at him. Donkey Kong sounds played.
Bart and Hugo winced embarrassed.
They then went inside the ice cream parlour.
"Do you have anything lactose free and vegan?" Lisa asked.
"No..." said the lady at the till rudely.
Lisa sighed.
Bart rolled his eyes at Lisa.
...
The Simpsons then had dinner. It was pie.
"I LIKE PIE!" Teddy yelled with delight.
Bart face palmed.
After dinner Marge was washing up only to see Ned planning his next film. Which seemed to based on Moses given the pyramids and townsfolk volunteering as slaves. What's worse was that he was working with Mr Burns.
"Oh my, Ned's next movie looks even more bloody than the last..." said Marge.
"Now now, you don't actually have to whip the slaves. We'll add the sounds in later!" said Ned.
"Pish Posh! As your financial backer I demand authenticity! Gibson didn't add the sound in later." said Mr Burns.
"But no one would know the difference?!" said Ned.
"Nonsense!" Mr Burns started whipping Moleman who cried out in pain.
Marge grumbled and shut the curtains.
Out the front, Bart was late night flying a kite.
Jimbo and his gang arrived. "Hey dweeb, isn't it past your bedtime?" The bullies laugh.
"Hello my fine comrades, pleasant evening..." said Bart in a creepy serene manner.
"Okay you're creeping me out..." Jimbo stammered.
"Yeah real creepy..." Dolph gulped.
"Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
The Bullies sighed.
"Let's send this spaz across the world." said Jimbo.
Oscar seethed as steam shot out of his ears and his face turned red. "Right that's it! Now you die!" He kicked their butts.
The next day Hugo went round Skinners.
"Can I come?" Graggle asked.
"No because you're naked..." said Hugo disgusted.
Skinner answered. "Ah Hugo, well this makes a change from Martin."
"Ooooooh Principal Skinner!" said Martin cheerfully.
"Please! I don't even like him!" Skinner pleaded with Hugo.
...
Eventually the next film was finished. Everyone in town went to see it.
The film started with Jonah. A whale ate Jonah despite Squeaky Voiced teen warning him.
"Oh no! A whale! Jonah! Jonaaaaah!" Squeaky Voiced Teen yelled before screaming as the whale ate Jonah. Blood shot out of the whale's blowhole and Sea Captain's head splatter against the screen.
The next scene was King Solomon with Judge Snyder playing King Solomon.
"Well the on,y way to solve this is to cut the baby in half!" said King Solomon before stabbing the baby to death with his sword! Yikes! Then he was horrified by what he had done. "Oh no! I've killed a baby! I'm a monster!" Solomon sliced himself apart vertically.
"Coooool!" Bart and Oscar laughed.
"That's it!" Marge shouted as she interrupted the movie. "Ned I am disgusted with you! Showing our kids a bloody side to the bible!"
"Oh and I suppose you'd rather them watch a film about a liberal school of witchcraft and wizardry or the latest sex movie starring Lindsey Lohan!" Ned screamed losing his temper again.
"Sure! Well not the Lindsey Lohan film... yeeeeuck! But I loooooove Harry Potter..." said Oscar.
"Homophobic bigot!" Marge yelled. "Now I see where Homer gets it from!"
Homer gulped.
"Hey quit badmouthing Ned's movie Mom! He's teaching us in a way that's fun!" said Bart.
"The bible isn't supposed to be fun!" Ned and Marge yelled.
"That's it! I am boycotting your sponsor Ned!" said Marge.
"Oh and what would you use instead of nuclear power?" said Mr Burns.
"Solar power. Wind. Hydroelectric?" said Marge.
Mr Burns got cross but he had an ace up his sleeve. "But how will you pay for such things if your dear Homer doesn't have a job!"
Homer gasped.
"You wouldn't dare!" Marge challenged him.
"Oh I dare where I want Marge. With my arch nemesis Mona gone and Homer under my employment, I can wreck your lives whenever I want! I suggest you make your next move carefully..." said Mr Burns evilly.
"Mr Burns, not only am I boycotting you I'm leaving your church!" Marge yelled.
"Woohoo!" Homer and Bart cheered.
"Homer we're going to find another church before next Saturday..." said Marge.
"D'oh!" said Homer.
"Very well, Homer you're fired!" Mr Burns sacked Homer.
Homer made a very unhappy groan like he did when Bart stuffed his karaoke machine into his open window to prop up the loose window. Homer was next to get mad with Marge. "Marge, I can't even look at you now."
Marge grumbled.
...
That night Marge and Homer were hardly speaking.
"I don't see how I'm the bad guy?!" Marge ranted.
"You cost me my job!" Homer replied.
"You want everything to be a sappy E rated Disney film..." Bart yelled from his room.
"You are the worst hypocrite I've ever met! You didn't approve when I stormed out of Mr Burns's church!" Lisa ranted.
"I'm not changing my religion!" said Marge. "Right that's it! No more going to Lovejoy's church. No more Indiana jones movies! Tomorrow we're finding a new church!
"And where will you find another Lutherism church in Springfield Marge?!" Homer asked.
They couldn't find any other Lutherism churches in Springfield apart from that Crystal Cathedral that was a Catholic Church so it was out of the question.
"Hmmmph! Fine! This was a waste of a Saturday morning..." said Marge as they got home from trying to find a new Lutherism church.
"I need to find a new job for Monday..." said Homer.
Marge sighed and realised the family needed to talk, maybe they were right she was a hypocrite...
However Oscar was reading a bible in the family meeting and encouraging Homer with controversial lines such as Jesus turning water into wine.
"See Marge? Jesus was one party animal! Woohoo!" said Homer.
"Hmmm... Homer the bible is meant to be taken seriously... don't make a big joke about it..." said Marge annoyed.
"Whoahohohoho! Now I can imagine Ned's gore fest!" said Bart reading Exodus. "Coooool! Angel of death!"
"Hmmmm..." Marge sighed.
After dinner Bart was playing in the backyard. He was strangely eager to talk to Rod and Todd. They were getting ready to record another film.
"Cooool! Do you get to kill Todd again?" Bart asked eagerly.
"Bart, killing is bad..." said Rod.
"Baby Jesus said so." said Todd.
"Oh come on, you were awesome as Cain! How did your dad get realistic blood?" Bart asked full of eager questions.
"Bart diddly art! My boys are working on a serious educational movie! Don't turn it into a circus!" said Ned.
"Sorry Mr Flanders. I was only praising Rod on his performance." said Bart.
"Shouldn't you be watching liberal cartoons censored for children?" said Ned.
"I don't see how my mom's overzealous censoring is any different to your Christian based censorship of what Rod and Todd watch." said Bart. "So you'd be alright with them watching a Christian movie like the Passion of Christ just because it's Christian despite that it's R rated?" said Bart.
"Well, aside from the fact Mr Gibson is an antisemite... yes..." said Ned.
"Coooool! I've always wanted to see that film!" said Bart. "Let me know when it's on!"
Ned sighed. He decided perhaps he shouldn't let Rod and Todd watch that particular film.
== Plot 3 ==
After Bart went back inside Marge went to see Ned. He was recording for another of his bible films however fortunately he wasn't writing a gory one. Instead it was th scene of baby Moses in the reeds.
The Flanders and Marge went to a river. Todd was lying in a baby basket aptly named a Moses basket.
"Now Todd you're playing the baby Moses." said Ned.
However it went horribly wrong as a current took Todd.
"Oh no!" Ghost Maude gasped.
"Help meeeeee!" Todd cried.
"Flanders to god! Flanders to god! Save my boy's life! Amen!" said Ned praying to God.
A lightning strike knocked over a tree into the river. It blocked Todd so he could be safely retrieved.
"Thanks God!" said Ned.
"Okily dokily!" said God as his arm appeared.
Marge and Ned made up. Ned agreed to stop making violent films and not be so homophobic and Marge agreed to return to Lovejoy's church.
Meanwhile Lisa developed a new power based on her Buddhism. When meditating she could call up a giant hand to pick up and move things. She decided to demonstrate this new power by grabbing Bartman by his cape and picking him up.
"What the?!" Bartman gasped.
Lisa giggled and dumped him in the dumpster.
"Very funny Lisa..." Bartman sighed.
Ned was ordering things for the plagues.
"Six dozen frogs, Kool aid powder for blood in the Nile, locusts..." Ned listed his deliveries.
"And I am the angel of death! Mwuhahahaha!" Oscar laughed evilly while dressed as the angel of death.
Ned sighed.
Marge was a,so exasperated with Oscar. "Oscar... I need some help in the kitchen, that should keep you imagination busy..."
Marge was making her wasabi buffalo wings again. Billy from Grim adventures was asking stupid questions.
"If they're chicken why are they called buffalo wings?! Buffalo don't fly!" said Billy.
"Because they were first created as a recipe in Buffalo, New York..." said Bart.
"What's wasabi?" Billy asked.
"A spicy hot green root quite like horseradish." said Oscar. "It's that green paste served with sushi." He was grating a wasabi root.
"Can I try one?" Billy asked.
"I wouldn't recommend you try one Billy. Wasabi is spicy. And you can't handle spicy things. Like that time you burnt your tongue eating a super chicken egg with acid yolks.' said Oscar.
"Well I'm as hungry as a jay bird on the Fourth of July!" said Billy doing an accent and ate a cooked wasabi wing. His face then turned red and he screamed as his tongue was on fire.
"I warned you..." Oscar sighed.
...
The Simpsons except Lisa went to church. Lisa went to Richard Gere's Buddhist temple.
Lovejoy droned on and on.
At Sunday school, Bart asked dumb questions about Hell. "Is there yodelling in Hell?"
"Okay that's it!" Uter yelled and throttled him. Because in German Simpsons Uter is Dutch or Swiss.
"No but there's yodelling polar bear cub's on Terror Mountain. Which is a misnomer because it's cutesywutesy there..." said Oscar.
Dino, Oscar pet cartoon dinosaur rolled his eyes as he was on a cartoon snowy ledge of a mountain while a polarchuck yodelled.
"Oz that website is lame..." said Bart.
"No it's cute!" Oscar retorted.
At Richard Gere's Temple. Lisa meditated.
She kept thinking about her laughing gas induced dream from when she had her braces installed again.
"Look! It's Lisa in the sky!" said Ringo.
"No diamonds on her though." said John Lennon.
They then had another festival of food. Everyone enjoyed Marge's wasabi chicken wings and Tom Pynchon the Quantum Lichen could talk without Mr Largo rudely interrupting.
He said he would review Marge's wasabi chicken wings and recommend them in one of his novels.
Marge was pleased.
Wiggum was cross about something as he had words with Marge.
Marge groaned as he arrived frowning.
"Listen here, Simpson. Your son has been exposing our kids to adult themes, unabashed dictionaries, and the lesser short fiction of John Cheever." Wiggum explained annoyed.
"Hrrrrrrrrmmmmm! Bart!" Marge yelled at Bart.
"What? I was just livening up Sunday School..." Bart explained.
"Lisa's missing all this yummy food!" said Homer.
"Yeah well she's a buddhist now." said Oscar.
"Plus she wouldn't like the food... most of it's meat." said Bart.
Lisa felt she was missing out on something but continued trying to find enlightenment with Richard Gere,
...
At home the Simpsons watched the news.
"And the Statue of Liberty was reopened to the public today offer having the old green copper replaced with new copper."
"Yes well Ol' Lady Liberty was looking a little sea sick." said Homer.
"Dad the statue looks green because copper turns green when it corrodes..." said Lisa.
"And across the Atlantic... Britain bans fox hunting."
Oscar swore angrily.
"Oscar!" Marge told him off.
"Oz how can you like that cruel blood sport?!" Lisa yelled.
"Because it is a refined and most delightfully British sport for the upperclassmen what what." said Oscar talking in a ridiculous posh accent while drinking tea from a cup.
Lisa seethed.
"Oz what if the British hunted bears?" Bart frowned at him.
"The Americans hunt bears. And I'm furious with you lot for doing that!" Oscar snapped.
"But killing foxes is okay with you..." said Bart.
"Yes. Prince Charles needs to chase something while on a horse every Sunday afternoon." said Oscar.
Everyone glared at him.
Elsewhere at school, a spare classroom. Lisa and her Table top RPG group are playing Vampires and Vikings again. Hugo and some nerds are playing a Warhammer spoof game, except Matt would be too scared to actually call it Warhammer. You can reference things Matt...
Oscar decided to annoy everyone. First he painted his Space Marine figures in Pastel colours.
"Yaaaaaaarrrck!" Hugo gagged in disgust at the sight of his garishly painted army.
Then Oscar played Mr Roboto on his boombox radio on repeat as battle music.
"Oz no!" Hugo yelled.
"Fine... I'll play the Final Fantasy VII battle theme..." said Oscar.
"No!" Hugo yelled.
Database sighed. "Your move Oscar."
"Oscar made stupid noises while moving his Space Marine figures.
Hugo sighed.
Igor came in. "Master! Master!"
"Yes Igor..." Hugo sighed.
"You forgot your lunch..." said Igor talking in a Peter Lorre voice. He gave Hugo his Lunch.
...