Hello, beautiful readers. Hope you had a great weekend and are having a productive week.
As always, thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy it. :)
Out of all the days of the week, Friday was the most liked by many of the students who had a lot of things planned for the weekend. For some, it was just another day. For Jihoo, today was the worst Friday of the year since it was the last day Seohyun was here. Since the moment he woke up, every calendar in the house had been adamant about reminding him of it. His breakfast he enjoyed by himself; even the maids have asked him to say bye to the girl they were so fond of. The next 24 hours were going to be painful and would take the whole weekend for him to recover from. Seohyun, whom he visited last night, was already packed and ready to go. The apartment she was leaving behind, she had handed him the keys. A nice parting gift for him to have her place, which was his safe place, away even from his family members.
His headache he tried to silence with a pain killer. He has been in a dilemma since he heard the news, which had worsened by Wednesday. The years of beautiful and precious memories that flood his memory every time he thinks about Seohyun not being around, it is odd how he has never thought about her leaving his side. She and Junpyo had always been friends he considered would be with him until his last day. It was hard for him to imagine what life would be like with Junpyo or Seohyun. One of his closest friends, his first crush, his big sister figure, and his greatest protector, Jihoo, was experiencing the first loss of somebody he cared so much about. The pain that comes with that, this was his first time dealing with an emotional pain he couldn't just bandage with fake smiles and overworking. No matter how he tried to justify it, all he felt was hurt. It hurts to let go. It was going to take time, but at least he was thankful he had friends who were ready and prepared to help him deal with it. Woo Bin, who has slowly but gradually recovered, Jihoo, who leads the conversation, and Junpyo, the best friend, have had several conversations about all they need to do to help Jihoo deal with this. They might not have included her in their chats, but even Jandi was trying to figure out how to cheer him up after Seohyun left. Adorably, she had even looked online on how to help somebody feel better after losing somebody special.
For now, she didn't know that all she had to do was just be around him. It was enough to cheer him up even when he was still dealing with it. Her presence he sought out the moment she walked into his office; he had instantly shifted his mind from worrying about Seohyun to being reminded of their friendship's gray area. What he did on Wednesday was still fresh on his mind; Jihoo's pinching mind was asking for another painkiller to silence it.
He has Seohyu's departer.
The kiss with Jandi.
Senior cruise Trip.
Charity Gala speech.
His mother's birthday gallery event. ..Jihoo's mind worked over time as it juggled everything he had to deal with. With his famous smile and easygoing personality that won all hearts, it was hard to tell when he had reached his limit and couldn't handle it. His chaotic emotions, he keeps to himself; he has learned to mask it all and keep smiling. It was part of his early training his mom had administered. A leader never shows weakness. You smile, stay calm, and confident through it all. Not even yelling or screaming was allowed since that was a sign of weakness. It was politics; you had to hide your emotions and play the games well. And by the time he got to highschool, he had mastered it all as everybody, even his parents, by his fake smiles. Only one person could see through it all, and she was leaving tomorrow. The universe that has always blessed him with everything, he was already being given a person to replace her, but Jihoo was in a mess to realize it yet.
" Hey." Her greeting was short. Since the incident, things have been a bit weird, but she has been trying her best to be as casual as possible. Just like him, her emotions she can control and hide very well; Jandi was doing just that as she tried to be casual about the kiss she still remembers every time she closes her eyes to sleep. Although 99.999% of her had accepted it as a mistake, there was still a tiny, very small part of her subconscious that couldn't help but wonder if there was a reason he had done it. Only a minute and a minute alien had been what she wasted thinking about herself against Seohyun. That nonsense was shut down immediately. She really was losing her mind, she had thought to herself as she almost smacked her cheeks to get her back to reality.
" Good morning," Jihoo welcomed her with a soft smile. Hidden behind his desk, his eyes quickly returned to whatever he was typing. While she was walking towards the corner, Jihoo's eyes tried to ignore her, but his ears picked on every step she took. He had always been aware of everything she did, but it was different now. It wasn't her actions that changed. She always took the same steps to walk to the tea he keeps by the bookshelf and then walk to the window. The only difference was his awareness of it. How cognisant he had become of the way she sips the hot tea. Taking a tiny sip and enjoying that for some seconds before the cup was brought to her lips. The way her right-hand holds the cup she uses to warm her soft hands. The way her eyes stay glued to the garden. He has just been picking on every little thing she did.
" Is it still raining?" he asked, a question he could answer by looking at the window broadcasting the rain behind him.
" Yes," She answered while glancing at Jihoo, then at the window, then back at him. Something is off with him. He still smiled and talked, but something had shifted since Wednesday. She knew he had a lot to do this week, but still, something was off about him. His smiles looked conflicted, and his conversations were shorter. He really must be hurting because of Seohyun was Jandi's guess.
" The contract with the cruise is finally signed," he gave her some good news about the project she has been working on for the last few weeks. The senior's cruise trip.
" That's great," her smile. It took just a simple smile to remind him why he enjoyed having her around.
" The invitations are ready to be sent," Jandi, sipping her tea, continued the chat about the trip. It didn't take much before Jihoo changed the topic to Eun.
" I got your friend's leave approved, by the way." Jihoo, sending his hand to his coffee, brought it to his lips.
" Two weeks," he added while pointing at the signed document sitting on his desk.
"It's so nice of you to help her out. I don't think she has a lot of friends." his eyes on Jandi walking to the signed document he pointed at; he wasn't sure if Jandi and Eun were friends before the incident.
" Were you friends?" he chose to ask.
" We are now," was her response. Jihoo hadn't missed how it didn't take Eun much time to be considered a friend. The boy she had saved last time and now Eun, Jihoo was speculating if she was protecting the scholarship kids because they were like her or because she felt sorry for them. Was she defending them because she knew Woobin's boys wouldn't come after her? Or was the confidence coming from slapping and putting Junpyo in his place?
" What is happening with the teacher?" she asked as she started walking back to the window while holding the document in her hands.
" Put on leave until next school year." Jihoo didn't need anything but the look in Jandi's eyes that had turned his way to know she was not remotely okay with the answer he gave her.
" The committee found no evidence, and she signed a document." He didn't know why it felt like he was on trial while responding to the scary look in her eyes.
"They are giving her the money as a free ride scholarship for the university. Tuition, dorms, everything," he added, unable to stop talking while her eyes stayed on him. The hunting looks in her eyes; she had slowly turned them to the window.
" I know. It sucks" Jihoo had no idea who he was talking to as he tried to empathize with Eun.
" I really wish she would find a palace to heal and get past this," he continued while his curious eyes that couldn't seem to read Jandi stayed on her. Her eyes looking at the distance; he would pay good money to hear what she was thinking about. Sometimes, there is a place she escapes to which he can't seem to locate. She disappears for seconds, lost in her own thoughts he can't access. That was when he reminded himself how much he doesn't know anything about this girl. All the questions about her then smoothly and slowly turn into admiring her lovely face. He couldn't help it; he was bound to lose his focus the longer his eyes stayed on her.
" It was sinister how he picked her because she has nobody who can protect her. An easy victim," Jihoo continued while he turned his attention to the computer screen.
" If there was any justice, he wouldn't even walk past this school ever." he finished the topic with that one. A simple sentence said in the presence of the person who could make that a reality.
Jandi, who hadn't said anything after that, had left shortly after. The lack of tasks for her to do in the office was a great excuse to use to leave. Jihoo, leaving for his morning meeting, hadn't questioned when she didn't return back to the office. Her mind running on anger needing to be calmed, she had only one place to bring her some calm. Walking into her class, Jandi headed to her backpack and placed the signed document between her books. The zipper closed, and she looked up at the clock above the class board: 45 minutes to go before their first class. She had chosen to work at the library as she chose not to return to the student council office, where she had nothing to do. All her detention hours that were assigned as work hours that she had to finish before the school year, she headed to the library, which will always have something for her to do. And just like she thought, she was ordered to return all the books placed in the return room to their locations.
One of her Bluetooth earphones plugged into her ear; she played her favorite playlist while she rolled the first cart filled with books out of the office and headed to the third floor. There was a reason she loved working in the library. One was there was rarely anybody this early in the morning, which meant she wouldn't have to talk to anybody and could spend all her time surrounded by all the amazing books. If she could, she would spend the rest of her life surrounded by books and just books only. While people admire the expensive houses in the famous TV shows about great architecture; Jandi watched it to see all the amazing libraries those houses had. It was a dream to have a room dedicated to books. She wouldn't even have a bedroom if she ever had her own house. Just a room filled with books with a mattress at the corner so she can rest in between reading. The world was a better place in the fictional words she read about. The hell she was assigned to live in, it was better to waste her time reading about all the amazing and beautiful lives of others. It was a nice escape from reality.
The elevator opened on the third floor; she rolled the cart out as she headed to the first section on her list. Her mind busy in its world; she was busy imagining her life. She would just live in a house in the middle of nowhere. A small house in the middle of the woods, with a nice garden in the back to grow her vegetables. Away from people, a peaceful place where she could finally rest and not have to worry about anything. Maybe she will get a dog. Something she had wanted since she was a kid but never had the luxury of. She would definitely get a lovely puppy she would raise to be her best friend. That would be the life. That was her craziest dream. The world that had dealt her so much pain, all she ever asked it for was that much. If she survives the revenge she lives for, that was all she asked to be granted after it. Nothing else. Some ask to be famous, a millionaire, to have this and that. All she wanted was a small house away from everybody and everything, in the middle of nowhere. She could wish for it all she wanted but knew she wouldn't get it. Considering how the universe habitually gives her the opposite of what she asks for, she has learned to stop wishing for anything. All the things she survived, she had years of experience to expect any blessing from the heavens that have cursed her existence.
Focused on the books she was returning and arranging on the shelf, she didn't catch the set of dark eyes that had been looking for her and had finally found her. The small smile accompanying the eyes came from the one person who could make her dream a reality with just a snap. A small house with a garden in the woods was nothing to the person who could get her the whole forest if she asked for it. What she wished to have, the universe had other goals as it had chosen to give her what she needed more than what she wanted. The broken soul she walked around with, running away from it, wasn't an option she would be granted. What she needed was to be healed from it all. To be cared for, adored, and loved beyond logic. All the things she didn't ask for, the universe was slowly positing the people who would be tasked to do that. The latest being Eun, and the most confusing ones being F4. The boys brought in to flip her world upside down, it would take Jandi years to figure out if they truly were a curse or a blessing. But none of the three boys she knew to stay away from would amount to the havoc the one walking her way would cause. The bad guy in her story, Jandi, was in no way prepared for the type of mess she was getting herself into by becoming the one he can't seem to stop thinking about.
His hands in his pocket, Junpyo had slowed his walk as he lowered his eyes to start from her shoes. On the stool she was standing on, she had to tiptoe to reach the top shelf she placed the books on. Her boots switched with her black tennis shoes; the moment he thought of her tiptoeing feet as cute, he was reminded of the door handle she broke off with just one kick. His eyes focused on the black leggings-covered legs. There were many other terms to describe how dangerous they were, but he couldn't think of anything other than cute as he watched them tiptoeing to reach the shelf. And this is where he should have known he had crossed a line. When his own imagination was going against reality. How scary and dangerous she was, his mind was in its own world as it convinced him to think of her as adorable. As they reached her skirt, his eyes stayed on her right thigh. The knife he saw her pull out, he wondered if she always had it on. Does she get it from her pocket? His curious mind had to stop before the thought of what else she could use to keep it landed on her wearing a garter. His lower lip that received the small bite; his body was already reacting to the mere thought of a garter being wrapped around her tight to hold a knife. He had to stop himself before any image popped into his head.
He needs to stop thinking about this girl before his mind starts creating imaginary images that will ruin his day. His eyes sent to her uniform cardigan, he made out his last name on the left side. There was something about seeing his family name on her that his eyes couldn't stop staring at it. Weirdly, he was finding delight in seeing anything of his on her. Why? The answer lay deep in his subconsciousness that was already starting to be possessive. His eyes, following the book she picked from the cart and heading to the shelf, stayed on her hands. The shelf he could reach with ease; it was so adorable to see her having to use a stool to reach it. Taking slow steps, he was now finally close enough to notice her lips moving to sing along to the song she was listening to. What was she listening to? His eyes on her right ear, he saw the black earpiece placed in it. Her hair in a messy bun was ignored as his eyes returned to her moving lips. Why did he have to think about the kiss he was forced to see whenever he saw her lips? Junpyo didn't like it as his right hand was pulled out and sent to brush his hair.
Her lips singing along were marked territory, not by anybody else but his best friend. Junpyo, above anybody else, knew that meant he needed to back down before anything serious came out of his fascination with this girl. Whether serious or not, Jihoo has something going on with her and that was enough for Junpyo to back off. Jihoo might not have fully realized it yet, but Junpyo knew his best friend more than he knew himself. Jihoo, who still hasn't confessed to the girl he had a crush on since they were kids. That Jihoo is not going to say he likes the girl he has only known for a few months. Junpyo knew Jihoo would take his time revealing it, but there was something. Jihoo doesn't kiss random girls. The fact that Jandi had downplayed it as a mistake while Jihoo had chosen not to say why he did it made it even more suspicious. At least Junpyo knew why Jihoo was doing that. Jandi, he wasn't sure why she was quick to accept it as a mistake. He had seen her not only let him kiss her but even close her eyes and part her lips, letting him in. He had seen her lips move. If Jihoo was making a mistake, what was she doing?
" Are you avoiding Jihoo?" Junpyo asked, choosing to disturb her peace just like the image that replayed in his head was doing to him. Her eyes from the book in her hand had darted to the right. The voice she heard past the music wasn't clear enough, but she could recognize it as his. Her eyes quickly scanned him as she watched him finally reach the shelf she was staking books on.
" You haven't been here in a while," he added as he chose to stand three steps away from the stool she was standing on. It felt odd to finally be able to look at her eye to eye without having to look down. She might actually be a little bit taller standing on the stool.
" What do you want?" she asked, returning her eyes to the book. Her famous question, he was getting used to it by now. His eyes on her, he weighed if he should make her stop asking him that question or just be nice.
" You need to stop asking me that." He chose to be nice. He was serious with his advice for her to stop asking him for what he wanted. Her eyes that returned to him after some seconds came when Jandi finally processed what he had asked her. What did he mean by her not having been here a while? Was he looking for her? Why would he be looking for her? Also, how would he know to look for her in the library? Has he been watching where she hides? Does he only know about the library? Jandi was having her inner conversation while her curious eyes were glued to him.
" You're staring at me." How soft her eyes forced his voice to be, he whispered as he sent his right hand to his hair. How he couldn't handle being stared at by her silent eyes like this was worsening. He would rather she cursed at him than just look at him.
" I am not hiding from anybody." her eyes returned to the book she placed on the shelf.
" I didn't say hide," he corrected her as he returned his right hand to his pocket and stood with his left side resting against the wall.
"I was in his office." She was conflicted about why she was trying to prove anything to him.
" Why would I avoid him?" she asked a question that was supposed to be meant for herself, but her lips had asked it out loud.
" Maybe because he doesn't remember what he did." Junpyo was waiting for her eyes to come, and they had done just that. Oh, she didn't know that he had seen them. It was so easy to read her face. For a second, she looked startled that he knew of what had happened. But then again, this jerk seems to know everything she does and happens to be there when shocking things happen to her.
" I thought you didn't like being touched." The small smirk that accompanied his words wasn't meant to come off as annoying, but that was how she received them. The little smirk of his ,Junpyo was using it to cover the weird mix of emotions the kiss brought up for him and nothing else.
" I guess Jihoo is special," he added.
" He is special." She chose to go that route. Jihoo was special, and she wouldn't tolerate anybody saying anything about him, including his friend. Why does everything this guy says annoy her.
" hu," Junpyo's small smile; he really had nothing to say to that. He knew it already, and he just had to accept it. Jihoo was special to her. No matter from what direction he looked at it, Jihoo was in a unique position, and he had used nothing but just being nice to her to get there. From the first day, he had been there to protect her and speak for her. Of course, he would be special to her. All the behaviors of his that have led to him having a bad guy reputation, Jihoo was the opposite in building a nice reputation and making sure everybody loved him.
" So you do like nice guys.'' His words reminded both of Yijeong's assumption about her type being nice guys. As always, Yijeong was a good judge of character.
"Ha ha!" Jandi's small smile was meant for herself as she focused on how ridiculous it was to think about her having a type of guy to like. She really must have done a fantastic job of looking like a regular girl for people to assume she has the time or mental power to think about the type of guys to like. She has done a phenomenal job at fitting in, she thought to herself. Her smile, Junpyo had interpreted it as her glee at herself liking nice guys like his best friend.
" You have a chance to get him." He didn't know what he was doing as Junpyo blurted out the words that left him more baffled than Jandi, who turned his way.
" if you play your cards right," he added as his right hand was sent to his hair. His best friend he had sworn to protect and advocate for, Junpyo, was doing just that. His fascination with this girl will have to end as soon as he gets a clear sign from either of them. Until then, he must mentally prepare for it. To be honest, Jihoo's interest in her was what outweighed her hatred for him as the main reason for him to step back. It wouldn't be the first time he has to step back and let Jihoo have what he wants. And this time, he has the opportunity to do it before they create a messy entanglement, and he does something that almost breaks the friendship again. He was trying hard to choose to step back. He had to this time. He owes Jihoo that much.
" He is my friend," Jandi, focusing her eyes on the two books she picked, read the last names. They need to go on the third row from the top, so thankfully, she doesn't have to tiptoe anymore.
" Friends don't kiss their drunk friends." Junpyo wasn't ready for her shocked eyes that turned his way. Why was she shocked? He had a 4k clear view of every movement she made, which included her lips that had kissed Jihoo's back. Only she and the man now talking to her were aware of the slightest movement of her lips. She had been happy when she learned that Jihoo was too drunk to remember, and it was something she could keep to herself. In no way was she prepared for this one to have witnessed her first kiss.
" It is a natural reaction," the defense she hadn't prepared; she knew this was weak even as she said it.
"Your natural reaction to anybody kissing you is to kiss them back?" he asked, knowing what she said wasn't true. He knew she was mad at herself for what she had said. One, because he knew her. Two, he could see her face in the reflection on the window ahead.
" Jihoo is not anybody," she had added another response before thinking about it. With the conflicted look on her face, Junpyo was enjoying watching her lose her exposure. It didn't matter if it was because of Jihoo; it was cute to see her like this. Her eyes turned to the shelf; she tried focusing her energy on that.
" Am I anybody?" The question that stopped her hands that were pushing the book resulted from the change in his tone. Her eyes that slowly turned his way needed clarification but weren't ready for what his honest eyes were openly sharing. The discomfort and odd feeling whatever was in his eyes had brought, she had chosen not just to attack but do it mercilessly.
" You are nobody." Her words weren't enough; her body was fully turned his way as she finally faced him. Her sharp eyes hadn't missed noticing the odd smile that escaped his lips right before he turned his head toward the floor. She had waited until his eyes were raised back to her before she said anything else.
" I don't know why you're helping Eun, but that doesn't change anything."
" It's been the same since I heard of you, and until I leave this school, and won't have to see your face again." Her words he takes to heart; she is taking advantage as she tries once again to convince him of her resentment towards him and why he should leave her alone. She had nothing but her words to do that. With the pile of evidence he has on her, she knows he could easily hand it to the police and cause her a major problem. He could just hand it to Woobin's family and have her hunted if he wanted to. For whatever reason, he was choosing not to, leaving her with few options to attack him with. She had tried violence already, and it hadn't worked. She had slapped him, kicked and punched him. Rather than work, they have backfired and made it worse for her.
" So you wouldn't kiss me back?" The tone of his raspy voice and the look in his eyes, Jandi's baffled mind couldn't even process what he had just asked. Did he really just ask her that? her eyes on him had stayed lost on what to do. The attack she had aimed seemed to have bounced right off without having even the tiniest impact. Or he was good at hiding it.
" Wh" the question, she had to refrain herself as her confused mind needed more time to ensure she had clearly heard what he had asked about. Her mind really was unable to think of what he was asking about.
" You would probably beat me to death before I even tried," he added with a smirk. The confused look on her face was too cute. It was ridiculous how she couldn't even contemplate the possibility of Junpyo thinking about kissing her, let alone doing it. That was too far off for her imaginary mind to accept as a possibility in all the possible universes.
" Why would you try?" her completely baffled mind. It was an honest question, but she knew she shouldn't have asked it out loud. Her eyes still on him; she knew to regret what she had asked about as she saw the smirk on his face slowly disappear. All the girls he messed with, of course, it was no big deal to this guy, but even then, why would he imagine her? Her mind couldn't honestly understand. Was it some kind of weird game to revenge his friend or humiliate her.
What she could see in his dark eyes, she knew to shut it down before he said anything. Standing against the wall, covered in all black, his face still looking as sick as it did the day before, the first red flag was waved in front of her as they stood there staring at each other. The answer to her question buried deep in his eyes: it was interesting how those dark eyes start warming up her skin they get under so easily. The answer she sought was hidden behind his eyes, challenging her to dig for it if she was brave enough. Her inquisitive mind, the logical voice in her head, was the one commanding her to trust her intuition and was waving the red flag for her. There was nothing but danger behind those transfixing eyes of his. Attack. Attacking him back to silence was what she chose to do.
" You seem to make out with anything that breathes so that I wouldn't put it past you.'' Her little smirk, Junpyo, who had already thought carefully about leaving her alone, didn't seem bothered by what she had said. He was actually reminded of the chat they had yesterday. How she kept reminding him of it. Junpyo could bet she wasn't fond of all the girls she had seen him with. Lucky for her, Jihoo wasn't like him. Jihoo, who doesn't even flirt back when girls throw themselves at him, of course she would choose him. Jihoo is the ideal, perfect boyfriend anybody would easily trust. Who in their right mind would trust Junpyo? His crazy mind from Jihoo had switched to himself as he was reminded of the 100 and one reason why this wouldn't work. But why was he even thinking about this? He wasn't planning on dating this girl, so why would he even think about why his playboy tendencies would be a problem? He should have answered that question rather than let his mind continue with its wild thoughts. Considering how people think even his normal conversations with girls were flirting, he was sure she would kill him for talking to any woman if she ever lost her mind and accepted his crazy fantasies. In the impossible reality he was dreaming about, Janid considering him hers and being possessive over him was a tiny seed just now planted in his subconsciousness that would need time to bloom and reach his consciousness.
" Does that mean I am allowed to do it since I am a fuckboy already?" Her attacks don't seem to be landing as hard as they used to as he was accepting what she was saying about him without any problem. In fact, he was accepting it and using it against her. His filter he has been lifting around her, he was okay to say and do whatever he felt like. If he was going to be forced to stop whatever was pulling him to her, he might as well say and do what he wanted before he stepped back for his best friend's sake. What does he have to lose anyway?
" Touch me if you have a death wish." Her anger was finally visible.
" haha," his smile was at his own weakness. How on earth was he considering her this adorable while she was daring him like this? When did he develop a soft spot for such anger being directed at him? When did everything she does become lovable? When did her anger at him become a trigger for his body that had already started its weird fascination with her touch? when her sharp words become melodic to his ear... he had nobody to blame but himself for how it didn't take much time. His decision to step back, his subconscious knew it was the best choice to make. Considering what awaited him if he continued on this path, it was the best decision for all. An easy one to make but not as fun as annoying her. For now, he chose the fun route.
" I do have a death wish." his raspy voice had changed its tone as Jandi's eyes from his face turned to his legs that started walking. With the slow steps he was taking her way, her baffled eyes just stared back as he took the three steps between them and stood before her. His eyes, which weren't lifted from her even for a second, had become scary with every step he took. And when he finally stood before her, his poisonous eyes looked like they had even changed their shape. The main reason being that she was, for once, a little taller than him and had to look slightly down. Having a better view of his eyes that were looking up at her, she couldn't hide how different he looked from this angle. His dangerous eyes seemed too intentional as they blinked slowly to ensure she admired the long lashes and the natural dark lines that highlighted them. His perfectly symmetric face that looked hand-sculpted; something was softening every feature she was forced to take note of. Her startled mind needed some seconds to take in the view. She could hate him all she wanted, but there was no escaping how handsome this boy was. Not just handsome but deadly attractive to the point it was scary at times.
" I thought you knew that already," his low voice whispered as he leaned closer. He hadn't figured it out yet, but his seductive & raspy voice was being used to his advantage as he forced her eyes to lower to the lower lip he was biting. A weird habit he was developing as a result of being around her. The small smile accompanying the lip biting, anybody would believe he was doing it intentionally, but he wasn't. It was an involuntary reaction to being this close to the subject of his latest desire. His sweet, luxurious smell she had gotten used to, his lean her way had let it fill her personal space; instantly diluting the air she was using to stay calm. Her eyes returning to him weren't given a second as they noticed a movement and were sent to his right hand, which was pulled out of his pocket. He didn't know much about what was happening, but Junpyo was fully enjoying the reaction he was getting by even being this close to her. Her startled eyes followed every movement of his; he wasn't aware of how he was the one leading their direction. The heavens were on her side as they had made him blind to all the advantages he had. She especially needed to thank them for hiding him from being aware of all the vicious things his body could do to get what it wanted. Not even his body, just his raspy voice when whispered in the lower tone and his dark eyes staring at her could do. It would take a long time before he figured that out and when he finally did it was over for the girl who would need many lessons before she learns why so many can't resist him.
" Don't touch me," her command came with her eyes that left his right hand and landed back on his eyes that were waiting for her. Her threatening voice was ignored as he decided to play the dangerous game he had started. Might as well test her threats before he wasn't allowed to even be this close to her.
Her eyes glued to his, Jandi could recognize the moment time started going slow. It was when his right hand, slowly moving up, had passed her right arm as it came closer to her chest. His long fingers, although her eyes were on his, she hadn't failed to be aware of the visible veins across his hand that we're coming to her shoulder. The slight movement of her shoulder matching the rhythm of her breathing that had slowed down was only noted by Junpyo. His hands she had always thought of as cold; she was frozen in place as his right hand passed her shoulder and came for her neck. Her soft skin left visible, wasn't allowed time to choose whether it wanted to react to the cold fingers coming towards it. As it got closer, the weird energy emanating from his hand demanded a reaction. The half-inch gap between their skins, the tantalizing feeling that started at the right side of her neck, was sent down the whole right side of her body. His thumb that moved closer had almost touched her warm skin that was on high alert for any contact. All other senses shut down; her whole being was focused on the skin covering her body that was forced to recognize its proximity to his. If she had any self-awareness, this would be the second time her body was offered an opportunity to learn a lesson on what his closeness does to it. All the treacherous things just his finger could do to have her melting into the palm of his hands, she would be given many opportunities to learn of their danger.
Unlike her, Junpyo was aware of what was happening to him. His mind, which needed to figure out if she even felt a fraction of all the feelings he was processing, was in full control. It wasn't his own limit he wanted to play with: it was hers. Her body that always seemed in control; his close observation has shown him every reaction it makes when he gets close. He had solid proof of what happens to it when he touches her. His right hand wrapped behind her, he recalled every second of her body that was held against his as his right arm had found its perfect resting spot to hold her close. Her body paused the moment he broke into her personal space. Junpyo knew she was beyond sensitive to people being in her personal space, let alone being touched, but that wasn't what occupied his busy mind. What his hidden thoughts were busy thinking about was different.
His right hand that loves holding their neck as he ravishes them with his lips; it was an instinctive reaction for his thumb to separate from the rest of his fingers and move closer to her chin, positioning itself to give him a better visual for the crazy fantasy that has been forcing his bottom lip to be silenced by his teeth. His poisoned mind, returning to its hallucinations, was quick to paint the tempting picture of his hand on her neck while the newest craze became his thumb that wanted to brush against her lips. The cheery color of her bottom lip that seemed lighter than usual, his thumb was itching to try and see if it would feel as soft as it looked. The girl he wasn't allowed to touch, it was beyond bold for him to aim for her lips. His subconscious mind that was running the game he had chosen to play, he had himself to blame for the things he was unlocking in himself. Her hauntingly beautiful eyes slowly closing while her ever-tempting lips let him prove why he couldn't stop looking at them; his mind was running wild. What she would feel to his touch, what she would taste like, neither were as agonizing as what sounds she would make if he dared to make his wild imagination a reality. His crazy mind that needed to be stopped was even coming up with all the soft sounds she would make, which he knew he would get addicted to. Sounds and gazes he would keep hidden in the deepest vault of his heart, the craziest thoughts of his need to be shut down before his consciousness was made aware of why he was starting to not only develop a craving for these things but wanted to be the only one to have them. That was the scariest part. How before he even figured out his emotions, his subconscious was already demanding them to be his and his alone. His possessive nature that would be tested to its limit; it was scary how he was already having a hard time even imagining another man doing any of this to her. His jealousy which was worse than his possessiveness, both would be put to the greatest test and challenge his sanity if he ever crossed that line and gets even a tiny taste of what he can't have. It all needed to be stopped here and now.
He had only his imagination to blame for how his right hand was having difficulty not giving into the alluring soft skin of hers that was half an inch away from his. Just a touch. Just a single touch. That was all his right hand had been asking for. The fact that he wasn't allowed to do so was what made it even more tempting. But whatever his own crazy mind was doing to him wasn't comparable to what her eyes staring into his were doing. He had full control of himself, but that was until her eyes were added to his internal problem. The golden-brown light of her beautiful eyes, it was at this moment that he learned his weakness. Unlike him, she didn't need to use even her fingers to have him melt at her feet. Her eyes were more than enough. How they could soften every feeling while tightening every muscle in his body; for now, her eyes were the biggest threat to his self-control. What she could do to him with just a single look, it was only going to get worse for the boy whose young heart was too fragile to handle not giving her everything she demanded and more. When her baffled & lost-looking eyes were staring at him in the pitiful way they were, when they directly aimed for his heart and got a reaction was when he understood his weakness. How he wanted to push her limits while also wanting to wrap his arms around her and comfort her from the visible discomfort all over her, the internal battle he was fighting was useless. Mainly because he didn't have a choice. Although he started it, her eyes were the one running the game. No matter how much he wanted it, he couldn't do anything that brought her any discomfort.
" This doesn't go there," his low voice; his fingers had moved away from her neck and headed to the book right behind her head she had just placed. His fingers had only grazed some of her hair as he slowly pulled the book. She wasn't even paying any attention to the book his right hand placed in its appropriate place, two books to the left. Her focus was on the body that had moved even closer and his right hand that had dared to be that close.
" This," his right hand heading to the other book wasn't welcomed closer to her neck again as her right hand had reacted instantly, coming to her defense as it should have done minutes ago. The moment her fingers wrapped around his wrist, his lips were shut, swallowing the words back. He had finally gotten what he wanted. But her hand holding his was grabbing onto his wrist, covered by the long sleeves of the hoodie he had on. The strong grip of her right hand quickly reminded him of the strength of her small body that could cause serious damage to him. The tight grip that was felt all over his body, Junpyo needed a second to let that sink in. That along with how the anger in her fingers was less fierce than the one in her eyes. Her eyes that were threatening him to not even dare, he was sure there was no way this girl had any idea how he wanted to respond to her voice trying to cloud his judgment, Junpyo had to stop his poisoned mind from even imagining what he really wanted to do to her right now. Her body locked between him and the bookshelf behind her, Junpyo had a choice to make in how he responded to the anger bubbling in her eyes.
" I was just trying to help," the soft whisper of his; he was fighting his own self as Junpyo accepted his defeat. His hand swung away from her, he welcomed it back to his side as it was sent to his pocket. Her body he had triggered, she was in defense and fighting mode.
" If you want to help, Then why can't you just leave me alone?" her arms she brought to her chest, and she crossed them. They were her defense and used to create a gap between the body in front of her. Her eyes demanded an honest answer while her body prepared to defend and attack back.
She had given him the right opportunity to state why he couldn't seem to leave her alone but before he did that, he needed a clarification on the decision he was getting ready to make.
" Do you like Jihoo?" Before he honestly answered hers, he asked his own. As always, it was funny to watch her react to the mention of Jihoo. Jandi wasn't aware that with a simple answer to his question, she could get this man off her back. She didn't need to do much but confess what she felt for his best friend to have him leave her alone. An option she would use once she learns of it.
" What if I did ?" she was for once curious about why he kept asking about this. Was he still scared of her doing something to Jihoo, that was all she could guess. Her second guess would be her place they keep reminding her of. She could bet good money that he probably was going to remind her of how inferior she was to his friend.
" Huh," he sighed with a smirk. She wasn't going to say it but he was sure she had feelings for his friend. He knew it already so why was he disappointed by realizing it again and yet again? Another reason adding to the list of why he should get his feelings in order. The moment of vulnerability she saw in his eyes, she had chosen to add Eun to the mix.
" It's better for Eun, me, and everybody else if you just let us be"
" Just tell me what you want so I can get you to leave me alone," she added knowing she was on a thin line as she leaned closer and whispered. Her honest question, Junpyo was okay with telling her what he really wanted from her.
" Tell me who you are," Junpyo asked for the answers she could provide him that would end his fascination with her.
The change in her eyes was all he needed to know he wasn't going to get that.
" Stopped by her place on the way, it was cleaned with nothing in the room. Not even a trace of somebody living there" Junpyo went on talking about the empty studio of Eun he visited before coming here. Not a single piece of furniture was left in the apartment that was cleaned and evacuated. He had stood in the middle of the empty room doubting his own memory of what he had seen there less than 24 hours ago. No video recording from the apartment or the building in front, everything was wiped away like it hadn't happened.
" Who are you?" the change on her face when he asked this question. He knew it was the right one to ask. There was something about this girl his six senses had been convincing him of since the day he saw her walking across the hotel lobby months ago. There was something that kept pulling his whole attention back to her.
" Who are you scared of to carry a knife around? '' his eyes lowered to her right thigh, she followed his eyes to where the knife of hers was placed. It was scary how much he knew and all thanks to his keen observation of the girl who's mission was to stay hidden. What he was asking for wasn't something she could give him. Not even on her dying bed.
" Why are you so scared of the cops?" he asked, he knew she was listening carefully even though her body was turned around. She had taken the steps to get off the stool and push the cart aside to get some space.
" What happened to you?" He wasn't sure if he should have asked but he was glad and terrified at the same time when she saw her hands stop and her head turned his way. How quickly her scared and enraged eyes had turned back to the cart, she was definitely hiding something.
Lost in his own confusion about what to make of the reaction he had just gotten, he gave both some seconds of silence.
" You're not going to tell me are you?" he asked as her eyes finally returned back to him. Their height difference, it was cute how he had to shift to looking down now. The steps she took to separate them, she had moved the cart in front of her. It was used as a physical object to separate her away from him. His eyes shifting from the cart, he had seen how her right hand was brought closer to her skirt. Her fighting position her body was placed in; Junpyo didn't need any other proof to know something did happen to this girl. Something traumatic enough to get her body ready to fight even when she was asked vaguely about it.
" You could easily give all this information to the police and have them figure it out?" she asked, trying to see if that was something he had thought about and if her plan should be disappearing away from this place before she was taken away in handcuffs. Even her voice had changed as something was starting to pinch at Junpyo who had noticed her fighting fingers. What on earth happened to her? Who had dared to do anything to her? How deep was the pain? ... the line of questions that occupied his mind were awakening a new type of anger. An anger hidden behind his weak heart that couldn't even imagine seeing her hurt let alone be in anytype of pain.
" Why would I hand you over to them knowing you are hiding from them" the mess she had created by letting this jerk get to know this much, she was realizing it now. But more than that it was fear that took over her. He was already scary when he existed as is but the possibility he could unravel the whole team and everyone she keeps hidden was terrifying. Above that, if he unlocks all the pain she keeps to herself; her already damaged heart wouldn't survive that and she had every right to be scared of even the less than 1% chance of that happening. Her anxiety he had triggered. Her thumbs were sent to her skin they started scratching.
" I just want to know you. '' His soft voice couldn't get any softer as he watched the first hint of blood from her skin she was attacking. The voice in his head begging him to give her his hands to attack, his hands were forced to stay in his pocket as he quietly accepted how much unease seeing her like this was causing him.
" I'm nobody" her answer was somewhat correct. The fake identities she lived with, her true identity was a lost thing even she wouldn't be able to recognize. Her eyes that had glanced up but immediately were hidden away from him, Junpyo was busy trying to control his body that was doing everything he could not to walk to her fragile and frightened-looking body and wrap her with his arms.
" not somebody worth a spoiled billionaire's time " she added something Junpyo was fast on correcting.
" I have all the time in the world, if it's you," the sweetest thing he has said so far; his words had scared even Junpyo. How easily the words he had never said to anybody slipped out his lips; it was beyond dangerous as it seemed he had no control over them. And what was to blame were her eyes that had returned back to him. Those beautiful eyes and the anxious & panicky look all over her.
" I know you don't trust me or feel safe around me." Her eyes, no matter how much they wanted to hide away, were held captive by his as his sweet voice reached her ears.
" Tell me what to do," his plea. There was no mistaking it for anything else but a plea. Whatever had taken over him, even Junpyo wasn't sure how his gates were slowly opened for her to walk through. The boy who had never had to ask for anything, let alone for anybody's attention. This was beyond terrifying as he was made aware of the vulnerability he was putting on the plate for her to cut to pieces.
" I am not Jihoo, but" he had to stop himself. All of a sudden, it was hard even to talk. The petrifying feeling that instantly triggered his anxiety, even forming words, had become a difficult task. Her eyes staring into his soul, Junpyo was getting a reminder of why he keeps himself hidden behind walls and metal gates.
" I am not as bad as you think," he added, the words that had paused his whole world to utter silence. The heaviness of the words he just whispered out, was felt across his whole body. Anybody would guess it would be embarrassing what he would feel to ask for any girl to look at him, but what he was feeling was fear. The boy that had the world at his feet, people bowing down to him, what really was happening to him to be doing this? Her scary eyes pierced through the black box that hid his heart, her eyes were merciless as they petrified him for what they would do to him if he let them in. The tiny window he had opened, what she could do to him once she had full access. There were no words, tears, or blood that could save him then.
For once both their minds were on the same page as both were commanded to run away.
It wasn't even the big red flags being waved for her that demanded she escape, it was her anxiety. Her eyes quickly lifted down; she forced her body to stay in control of itself.
" I have things to do before" She started walking his way and before she almost had walked past him her lips stopped. As she almost walked past him, his right hand came to hold her. His right hand holding her right arm, Jandi didn't even look at the point of contact. Her eyes were focused on his, and what followed had left both silent from what they wanted to say. The way her hand was snatched away from him as she pushed her body against the wall next to her, the scared look in her eyes.
" Please leave me alone," was the last thing she said before she quickly stepped away from him. Making the sharp right turn, her steps had turned even quicker as she headed to the bathroom.
The straight arrow that had pierced through his heart, Junpyo was given a tiny test for the type of pain that was waiting for him. What her rejection would do to him, what having her walk away would do to him, What her ignoring the gates he was lowering for her and what being disregarded by her would do to him. He was given an atom level of what was waiting for him. His frantic hands looking for the remedy that worked, the cigarette was pulled to his lips as he quickened his steps away. He needed to get away from this place, and it didn't take more than a few minutes for his body to be in his car that would break every speed limit as it headed to his hiding place.
His mind always shuts down with the sleeping pills, today it was his heart that he needed to not be aware of what it was going through as he took the sleeping pills with the cold water from the sink. The pill bottle was not even closed; he had taken his body to the bed. His hoodie pulled off and was thrown to the floor while his body was thrown onto the bed. It was the safest place to hide himself in. The window and bedroom system following his command had shut down everything and set the room to the perfect temp and air quality for his mind to escape.
Unlike him Jandi didn't have any safe space as her emotions were something she had to bottle and keep away while forcing herself to go on like she was a robot. Her morning classes, she was busy reading her book while the teachers changed one after the other. Her day she had thought couldn't get worse the universe had other plans as she found a note in her locker. The beautiful handwriting and the flower decorations were the first clues she used to guess who it might be. The card asked her to come to the flower garden, Jandi had the card in hand as she made her way to the garden.
The clear direction she wrote followed it as she made all the right turns. The small reading spots and chairs across the garden, she wasn't able to see what was waiting for her behind the bush of roses as she slowed her step. Always be ready to be attacked and defend yourself. The right turn she made, her defense was instantly lowered when she saw what was waiting for her.
" Surprise!" Seohyun's big smile, Jandi was honestly surprised and looked like it. The beautiful dress Seohyun had on was no comparison to the beautiful lunch laid on the table. Both have matched the flower garden they were in, surrounded by roses.
" I said we would have lunch," Seohyun's smile had only grown as she watched Jandi scan the beautiful lunch she had the school kitchen staff prepare for her in the garden.
" I am leaving tomorrow and today was the only day left for lunch" she went on talking as Jandi started walking her way. These people really could do whatever they want whenever they want. Seohyun was an alumni and the staff probably adores her but still. Their circle she was being added to, Seohyun was the first one to do something special for jan di and Jandi alone. Not used to people doing things for her , let alone these kinds of gestures, Jandi was worried about what this came with.
" Is Jihoo joining us?" Jandi wanted to start her questioning light.
" No but he knows I am here." Seohyun, still using both hands, was directing Jandi to the chair.
" He said you like Korean food and simple dishes so Seohyun started distributing all the food she had asked for based on Jihoo's recommendation. Jandi more than what was in front of her was focused on how Jihoo was the one who made the recommendations based on what he had seen her eat at their daily lunches.
" He said you only drink water or tea, but I wanted you to try this"
" Since this is a special lunch," Seohyun added as she started pouring from the flavored tonic water that looked like champagne. The two champagne glasses half filled, Jandi down pulling the chair. More than the food she was looking forward to the conversation and it wouldn't disappoint. As she sat and started adjusting some of the food to her side, Seohyun waited in silence. She wanted to wait until Jandi took her first bite before she bothered her.
" I feel a little bit relieved leaving them after knowing you are their friend" Seohyun's beautiful smile was analyzed by Jandi who looked up from the salad she took a bite of. She needed to know if it was a genuine comment or a mocking one.
" I am not their friend. I am Jihoo's friend," Jandi corrected.
" Oh really?"
" Not even Junpyo's?" Seohyun was joking with her question which was taken seriously because of what happened in the morning and everything else.
" He is" what she wanted to say, Jandi stopped herself when she caught Seohyun's eyes waiting for her to say something to reveal why his name got a reaction out of her.
" We are not friends" she chose her words carefully.
" I still can't believe you slapped him" Seohyun started eating her salad.
" He has a soft spot for strong women so I would be careful with him" Seohyun's smile had only gotten bigger when she saw the quickness Jandi's eyes had looked up with. Both women didn't want to say what they were thinking, it was going to be a battle of words. Also, what did she mean he has a soft spot for string women? Jandi just shook her head and got rid of Soehyun's comment as nonsense.
" Yijeong said you reminded him a little bit of Junpyo's sister and I am starting to see it" Seohyun went on letting Jandi know that they talked about her when she wasn't even there.
" She is amazing. You would like her" Seohyun's words, Jandi started searching for a mental picture of Junpyo's sister Bom was in charge of spying on to get information. The beautiful woman who was cleared from everything, Jandi didn't know much about Junpyo's sister apart from her being beyond beautiful and the epitome of cool.
" You two have some" Seohyun couldn't find the words.
" She is very special to him so it explains" She stopped before she finished this one too. Jandi, who wanted to hear all about it, was curious but she didn't want to show any interest. She can't ask. Anything to use against him, that was what she was thinking about but deep down she also wanted to know about the person the people close to him say she was like.
" I like how you don't tolerate his nonsense"
" You know a lot about him?" Jandi had found her entrance point.
" I've known them since they were young. They were adorable back then"
" Now they are troublesome boys" It was so obvious how much she loved the boys. Her smile when she talked about them was enough evidence.
" But you seem to know more about him" Jandi was using hints and thankfully Seohyun was able to pick on it quickly. As she brought her drink to her lips, Seohyun sat back. Her curious eyes were scanning Jandi looking for an explanation why she was asking but the girl in front of her was hard to read.
" Junpyo is a sweetheart once you get past the all dark exterior" Seohyun was very careful with what she was saying about the boy she knew had something weird going on with this girl. The only clue she needed to know was looking at the way he was looking at Jandi. Seohyun, who knew him very well, had to only see how he reacted whenever Jandi's name was mentioned or when she was around for her to finally connect the dots.
" Then what is Jihoo?" Jandi didn't even let the notion that Junpyo was sweet sit. It went in one ear and out the other. It was thrown as a useless fact that was deemed impossible.
" Jihoo is an angel" Both their smiles at her simple description, Ji Hoo really was special.
" He has always been that way since he was a kid" Seohyun went on talking about all the things that have led to Jihoo being the only friend Jandi had at that school. The only friend before Eun came into her life.
" He is the kindest and sweetest person. Isn't that why he is your friend?" Seohyun asked.
" Yes"
" He is the only one from F4 to care about anybody but himself" Jandi chose to attack the rest while she complimented him.
" which is not good"
" He needs to care about himself too and that has always been his problem" Seohyun was pointing at one of his weaknesses that lead to some assuming he is a people pleaser.
" He cares too much about people and what people think," she added finally giving Jandi a confirmation of the assumption she has made about her friend.
" He needs to learn to be a bit selfish and live for himself" Seohyun's smile, Jandi was analyzed to see if she could ask.
" He has a habit of trying to make everyone happy, which I love but you can't do that. He then blames himself. It's not good"
" He just needs to be happy for himself by himself"
" You know what makes him happy?" Jandi asked another layered question-which Seohyun was able to understand what the main point was.
" You knew him since he was a kid, so you would know better than anybody" Jandi knew it might not be her place to say, but whatever. Seohyun was leaving and Jihoo was her friend.
" It doesn't matter what used to make him happy, what matters is what will" Seohyun was just as good at using hints as she took a sip. The mantle she was more than willing to pass to Jandi, there is nobody that was as happy as Seohyun to know Jihoo has found somebody he likes. And for the girl he likes to be a girl like Jandi, Seohyun was beyond happy about that.
" he has been acting weird for weeks because of you leaving' Jandi decided to cut the chase short.
" He has been even weirder the last couple of days, probably mentally preparing for tomorrow." Jandi taking a bite of her food went on describing Jihoo's behavior.
" We have been friends for years, so It's hard"
" Are you really just his friend?" Jandi asked. The boldness she was known for, she had decided to be herself and not play nice no matter how much she respected and slightly liked Seohyun.
" Huh," Seohyun sighed, finishing what was in her glass. That sigh and look in her eye said everything.
" When he was like 7 or 8, he used to be picked on by other kids. I remember one party, I think my parents threw it and a group of kids were saying something about his clothes. I had to jump in and straighten them out. He has been looking at me with the same lovable doll eyes since then" Seohyun let that sit in. Some seconds of silence were enough for her to recall the memory.
" It's a childhood crush"
"His feelings weren't reciprocated?" Jandi asked
" Or there was somebody else? Jandi added sitting back.
" Huh," Seohyun sighed again.
" I love Jihoo a lot. He is a special person and will forever be but"
" But Junpyo?" Jandi had thrown it out there and finally got her answer that there indeed was something that happened.
" haha" Seohyun started laughing.
" There is nothing between me and Junpyo. Why does this keep happening" Her big smiles were beautiful.
" You seem too comfortable with each other" Jandi chose to phrase it that way.
" Junpyo has a way of making you feel " Seohyun didn't have the words to finish her sentence.
" You will see once you get to know him"
" I am not planning to" Jandi's response was quick.
" But am sure you know how things could be taken when you two are that close, he is his best friend?" Jandi was asking questions that she would be asked months from now. All the things she was questioning Seohyun for would be pointed at her in due time.
" What happened was a mistake"
" So something did happen?" Jandi knew it.
" Huh," Seohyun sighed realizing Jihoo hadn't told Jandi.
" I have tried everything to make Jihoo understand that I only saw him as a friend, a little brother even" Seohyun started while she was debating how much she wanted to share.
" I should have known better than but I thought if I messed with Junpyo, he would change his feeling"
" It was a mistake and it almost caused a serious fight between them." Seohyun pouring herself more to drink wasn't paying attention to how she was sending Jandi some bullets to attack Junpyo with. She was giving her another reason to hate him.
" I know Yijeong goes around saying things but it was just a kiss and that kiss was a simple mistake and I've talked to Jihoo about it again and again" Seohyun's defense Jandi now had another person to ask about what really happened, Yijeong. The one who always had something to say.
" I didn't choose Junpyo over Jihoo"
" Who would choose that over Jihoo?" Jandi's smirk, Seohyun was a bit relieved to know Jandi doesn't know Jun Pyo well enough to make these assumptions.
" Jihoo really cares about you and loves you" Jandi was willing to fight for her friend.
" If you cared about him, you would have given him a chance," she added.
" That's not how it works," Seohyun said after a second of silence, returning her attention to her food. It was cute how Jandi thinks people's heart works.
" The heart wants what it wants" Seohyun added the phrase Jandi has heard before.
" I feel bad for Jihoo"
" If you do, give him a chance" Jandi was making a request.
" haha" Seohyun smiled.
" I don't think I have a chance anymore" Seohyun was happy with Jandi's choice to make the conversation honest. She wants to be honest about what she wants to say.
" I am being replaced" Seohyun added hoping Jandi was able to understand.
" There is nobody replacing you in Jihoo's world" Jandi was oblivious to her being the person Seohyun was talking about.
" Nobody could compare to you"
" It's not a competition," Seohyun corrected.
" I am just glad knowing he will be in good hands" Seohyun tried a different way to see if Jandi was aware.
" We are friends" Jandi's quick response, Seohyun had the right words for that.
" So were we" Seohyun's smile was because of the confusion she was seeing on Jandi's face. She could read her for once.
" Hopefully you will learn from me"
" Like you suggested, it would be a waste not to give him a chance" Seohyun was using Jandi's words against her.
" I think he needs somebody strong like you to learn from"
"Haha" Jandi's small laughter, how ridiculous for Jihoo to learn something from her. It was her who had to learn so much from him.
" You all live in a different reality," Jandi kept on smiling. On what planet do they think she and Jihoo would be together?
" You don't like Junpyo, so you already have an advantage." The drama the girl in front of her would cause, even Seohyun couldn't predict what was waiting for all.
" It would have been an issue if I didn't?' Jandi was okay with indulging Seohyun in the crazy world where this all was possible. For a few minutes, she was okay with living in Seohyun's reality.
" It would be mayhem if you did" Both were laughing at something that wasn't a laughing matter.
" Maybe that would be the way to break the F4," Seohyun added in between her laughs. What she had said was true but it was just taken as a joke.
" I don't think it will. Junpyo cares about Ji Hoo too much and I know he wouldn't make the same mistake twice"
" He has promised to keep" Seohyun's words, Jandi's ever-calculating mind was quick as it saved it as something to use against the boy she wanted to stay away from her. Her best tool had always been there for her. It was to use Jihoo. It was at this moment that it hit her why he kept asking her if she liked Jihoo.
" Considering what I heard about how much you resent him, I don't think you would ever give Junpyo even a glance anyway" Seohyun brought Jandi back to the conversation.
" but if you did" the look in Jandi's eyes, Seohyun knew to be careful. Her intuition was never wrong and Seohyun knew there was a possibility that Junpyo's fascination with this girl wasn't surface level and could develop to be something else. All the girls she had seen him deal with and all the other ones she had heard about, Seohyun knew there was no way Junpyo could play his games with somebody like Jandi. Who better than the girl who was famous for slapping and cursing him to straighten him up?
" Nevermind, I don't think you will" Seohyun chose to leave her answer a mystery.
Their conversation quickly turned to what Jandi's plan was for college or after graduation. It was fun how she was able to have a light conversation with Seohyun that lasted almost all of their lunch break. Seohyun begged her until she said yes, Jandi had agreed to come to the airport and say bye to her. Seohyun had asked because she thought having Jandi there would make it better for Jihoo. The rain started when she returned to her class, Jandi sat at her desk wondering what would happen tomorrow. It seemed so far away and her focus should have been on the now when the last bell rang and she went to the council office. Jihoo behind his desk had seen her walk but there was no smile on his face as it used to be when he saw her.
" Is there anything you want me to do before I leave?" she asked but didn't get an answer.
" I will prepare the agendas for the Monday morning meeting and '' she went on while trying to figure out why he wasn't even looking her way. His eyes from the computer were just turning to the paper he was writing on.
" That's it" his short answer, Jandi knew something had happened. Why she was unable to accept him acting like this wasn't questioned. She just wanted to know what was causing him whatever he was feeling to act like this towards her. He has been acting weird since what happened but this was different. Did Seohyun say something to him after their lunch? Did Junpyo say anything to him about her? Her biggest worry finally pushed her to ask.
" Are you okay?" sending her hands to her back she asked. His eyes looked a bit angry. What does he have to be angry about? All her worries bottled into him hearing anything about her from his best friend, her anxiety was starting as she waited for him to explain.
" I'm fine" his response had only made it worse as Jandi kept her eyes on him for a few seconds hoping she could get him to talk but no. Jihoo had just given her a fake smile and returned to his documents. Turning around, she started her walk out of his office. It really was bothering her seeing him like this and that was the only cure she should have needed to know what she was feeling towards him.
" It wasn't your place to ask her to give me a chance." Right before she walked past the door she heard his voice. Her hand was still on the door handle, only her eyes had turned around. How does he know?
" it wasn't your place to tell her I like her either," he added, giving her the confirmation that he knew about what she was talking to Seohyun about.
" She didn't tell me. I heard you when I came to surprise you two," turning his eyes back to the document he clarified before Seohyun was blamed.
" Why don't you tell her then?" Jandi turned around. For once, she wouldn't hide behind being nice to him. He only had hours left to do anything about it, and she would do whatever to convince him to try and put up a last fight for what he wanted: for what would make him happy.
" What are you scared of?" she asked as she watched him put the pen down and focus on her.
" Why can't you just tell her? It's not like she doesn't know." Jandi was pushing and was willing even to push harder.
" What more do you have to lose?" his eyes gunning him down, she had no idea who Jihoo became when he was angry and pushed to a corner.
" Why do you care so much?"
" You are my friend. You are hurting because of her '' Jandi was saying things she hadn't even admitted to herself. Her simple confession had only left Jihoo even more confused about what to make of all the things he was feeling after that kiss. Does she really just see him as a friend? She had to since she was begging another woman to have him. If she liked him she wouldn't be asking Seohyun to give him a chance.
" You've been acting weird for the last few days because she is leaving"
" You think that's why" he stopped himself as he sent both hands to his face. He needs to breathe. This is a mess. Why couldn't he come out and say it was the kiss that had messed up his mind that he hadn't been able to function regularly after it? Why he couldn't even say that much was starting to shift from annoying to anger now.
" Everybody is worried about you" she included everyone in their conversation.
" I always thought it was because of him but it wasn't"
" She told you?"
" If he wanted her, he could have had her" Jandi took a step towards him, Jihoo was momentarily confused about where her confidence on what Junpyo could do came from. But she was right and Yijeong had said it as well. If Junpyo really wanted to, he could have easily taken Seohyun but had chosen to apologize for the mistake and step back. Not because he didn't like Seohyun but he valued his friendship with Jihoo more. Jihoo,, who had saved his life several times, stepping away from Seohyun was a small price to pay to have Jihoo continue to be part of his life.
" He's a fuckboy but she said she doesn't have any feelings for him and regrets whatever happened" Junpyo hadn't failed to be attacked while he wasn't even there.
" He is not the issue Jihoo '' almost immediately after she said his name, Jihoo was forced to recognize how she doesn't say it often to the point he got a physical reaction out of him. It feels weird.
" Just tell her how you feel"
" If she didn't have any feelings for him, you think she would have for me?" he asked.
" Are you comparing yourself to him?" the smile on her face, Jandi's pure disbelief was all over her face. She was so adorable when she smiled.
" Seriously?" she asked again when she didn't get an answer the first time.
" It's you" both her hands had pointed at him. The look in her eyes as she said should have been enough to let Jihoo know what this girl really thought of him but Jandi focused on making him feel better had continued before second guessing what she was saying.
" You're the nicest person I know."
" You were the only person in this school that cares about people" her thoughts she always kept to herself, this was one of the few times she was choosing to say something nice to anybody.
" How can you compare yourself to him"
" he will never compare to you."
" Not even close," she added with a smile that was a result of watching Jihoo smile. It felt nice to be able to have him smile.
The words she had said so easily had slipped from her lips effortlessly because they were true. There was no comparing the two friends and Jihoo will always be special, but her mistake was in assuming she can make a logical choice and they were comparable. There was no logic to any of this. If there was, she wouldn't even be here talking to him, let alone be worried for him. The F4 she was sent to destroy here she was trying to make a member of the group smile and feel better. No logic could explain why she was inch by inch moving away for the mission she was sent to accomplish. The handsome student president that was her first kiss; there was no comparison to him. Her world he was slowly softening; there was no logical explanation to what being adored by him would do to her and there was nothing that would compare to that. That much was true but that doesn't take away from why even Seohyun had chosen not to say anything about what would happen to Jandi if Junpyo ever falls for her and she if ever gave him a chance.
" You should be honest with yourself and with her before she leaves"
" It's years of memory Jihoo" she had said his name again. Her advice had been the same as his friends and even the maid who had seen him grow up. Even Junpyo had said the same thing and Jihoo knew there was no moving on with closing that chapter with his life somehow. Whether he chose to confess and let her go or fight for her, he had to make a choice.
" I know." His hands were sent to his tie he pulled it down.
" Think about it" was the last thing Jandi said before she walked out of his office and headed to her desk. She only had 20 minutes to prepare the documents for Monday and leave. The appointment she had made with Eun, she was expected to be home by 7:30 and help Eun be introduced to Bom at the dinner Mrs. Kim had asked for everybody to be there. She had to get to Eun before she and Mrs. Kim left for the car shop, where they were all called for dinner. She can't risk Eun meeting Bom and answering his question without her. There were a lot of things Eun could say that could get Jandi in trouble.