Class of '09 Fanfiction – "Cold 'Stone' Colby"
Written by: Novdalune (AKA Nov)

Deep into the late afternoon on a Saturday, Nicole lay slouched over her couch, the light from her Sidekick barely illuminating her face as she stared at the time ticking away on it. Her left leg slumped over the arm of the couch.

N: "God, where the fuck is Jecka?! She is always so god damn late."

Nicole stood up with a groan, her phone making a clap sound as she stowed it away in her jean pocket as she walked to the door with an irritated strut. She opens her front door and steps outside. As she does, she could see Jecka's typical white bitch walk from across the street.

N: "The fuck took you so long? You get held up by some creep at the 7-Eleven again?"

J: "No, I got in trouble for skipping yesterday. Again. My mom wouldn't shut the fuck up about how my future was-"

N: "Gonna end with you giving blowjobs to rich pricks at a Denny's?" Nicole cutting Jecka off left her dumbfounded, leaving a moment of awkward silence.

J: "... How did you know she said that?"

N: "I know your mom better than you at this point."

J: "Are you a psychic?"

Jecka's face filled with concern. Nicole was already a force to be reckoned with, but her being so perceptive was unnerving to her.

N: "Jecka, can we save the intervention for later and just go to fucking Dairy Queen? My inner fat bitch is craving some sugar right now."

J: "Christ fine. But I'm not sharing mine."

The two walked in near silence towards the Dairy Queen together. As they came close by, they noticed no one was there, but the lights were on in the front. A bright OPEN sign annoyingly flashing in the front.

J: "The hell are all the white dads with their crotch goblins? It's usually packed at this hour." Jecka broke the silence as they both walked up to the main foyer.

N: "Fuck yeah, who cares. Let's get our shit and get out. I don't wanna risk talking to some middle aged loner whose wife left them for their ketamine addiction."

Nicole walks up to the empty order window, smacking the wooden counter with vigor to get the attention of whoever was hiding in the back.

N: "Hey, I know you're back there. Quit baking your ass off of oxy and wage slave for us!"

A few labored breaths echo from around the blind spot of the inside. A large, commanding and familiar voice booms as they reveal themselves.

C: "Heyya girls! What can I getcha tonight?"

N: "COLBY?!"

Both Nicole and Jecka's eyes shot open in shock.

J: "Why the fuck are you working HERE?! Aren't you around kids enough?!"

C: "Hey when you get bills, you'll be doing the same as me in your futures."

N: "I hope I'll be dead before that happens..."

C: "Anyway. Are you here for the good stuff or not?"

Nicole quickly browsed the menu, tapping her foot in distaste.

N: "Just get me a small Butterfinger Blizzard and dont fuck it up."

J: "Small Oreo Blizzard for me."

Colby gave a nod and a chuckle. His face lit up with a light blush and as a smile creaked across his face.

C: "Comin' right up girls! I'll give ya the best treats girls like you could ask for!"

Colby chuckles to himself as he walks to the back. He vanished into the blind spot of shop, The sounds of dispensers could be heard whirring in the back

J: "I don't like this..."

N: "Yeah neither do I. But the worst that comes of it is that he spiked it. Let's just go home and eat it. Doubt he'll even be thin enough to fit through a broken window"

J: "You're seriously going to willingly let your pedophilic gym teacher roofie you?! Are you sure you're not already high?!"

N: "Relax. Like I said, let's go home and lock ourselves in. Worst case scenario, we pass out for a while. Even if he does follow us home he'll likely be to fat to walk up a small incline."

C: "Alright girls! Here's the Colby special, just for you!"

Colby in both of his full fists held two full Blizzard cups. Filled to bursting and looking nearly as good as it does on the board.

N: "Damn Colby, took you long enough. What's the total so I can go home and totally not get knocked out."

C: "It's on the house for tonight. Next time if you come back I'll give ya a discount if ya like it!"

J: "Well shit who am I to complain about free ice cream..."

Jecka's whispered under her breath.

N: "Sure, whatever."

The two girls turn to leave with their prizes in hand. Shortly during their walk back home, They both spot Kylar on a jog as he approaches them with a pep in his step.

K: "Sup losers! You bitches went to Dairy Queen? Is Colby there now?

N: "Uhm... Yeah, why?"

K: "Awh fuck yeah! He's using that place as a front on his shifts on Saturday nights. He sells some of the hardest hitting shit I've ever used. What'd y'all get?"

Nicole's brain starts to turn cogs. She stared at her Blizzard frothing over the lip of the cup. She sparked an idea.

N: "Uhhh... I got something... Reeeeaaallyy hard.~ Like I'm sooo fucked up I can barely remember.~"

K: "Damn I can tell you're fucked up. Lemme try some, I'm tryin' to get plastered before tomorrow. Got too much shit to do"

N: "Yeah go ahead~"

Nicole hands Kylar the blizzard with a smile on her face as he takes a spoonful of it in his mouth. It was almost a large enough bite to make Nicole gag.

K: "Fuckin' hell that tastes bitter. What the hell did you get? I don't even feel-"

Kylar's eyes started darting everywhere. Looking at Nicole, then at Jecka, then back at Nicole... Back and forth in silence until he falls over on his back. Nicole and Jecka step back and watch as Kylar begins to convulse on the ground.

J: "Uhh, What the fuck is happening?!"

N: "What the fuck did Colby put in that?!"

Colby could be seen walking up the incline of the road, heavily panting like he just ran a marathon. Nicole and Jecka run up to him as Jecka throws her Blizzard at him, landing straight on his chest as it splats all over him.

J: "What the fuck did you try to kill us with Colby?!"

N: "Yeah, fuckin' Kylar is over there having a seizure or some shit!"

C: "Wait, you let him try it?! If so, he was just supposed to pass out!"

J: "I fucking knew it! I knew you spiked our shit!"

Colby's face was one of pure horror. He just realized his mistake.

C: "Bath Salts..."

Silence

N: "WHAT?!"

C: "I must have mixed up the solutions somehow! Get out of here before the cops show!"

Nicole and Jecka begin to haul ass back to Nicole's place, Jecka lightly tripping over Kylar on the way as Colby tumbles back down the incline. As the duo get back home, they slam the door behind them and lock it tight.

J: "Well so much for free ice cream. Lets never speak of this again. I want to avoid jail if possible."

N: "Yeaaaah..."

-END-