Afternoon lunch block. Again. Skipping class. Again. We're even sitting down at the same seats at the same table. Again! Another monotonous day in high school, like any other. So fucking boring! I'm getting ticked off just thinking about it. I dunno why I let Nicole talk me into skipping school — while we're in school! God, I really need to smoke right now.
I turn to tell Nicole as much when something makes me realize… she's really fucking pretty. I mean, she always was but... I dunno what suddenly made me think that. Nothing was different about her today. Not really. She was just sitting there, elbow on the table, holding her head up with her fist while scrolling mindlessly through her G-Mobile Sidekick like always. Same bored look on her face that I've seen a million times by now. What made today any different?
I guess I was staring at her for so long that she actually noticed and stopped disassociating for once.
"Oh, shit. Jecka, you okay? Your face is redder than Principal Lynn's recolored highlights. And you're also sweating like a hooker in church. Are you already having hot flashes? I didn't want to say anything but, I always thought you looked way older for your age."
"Nicole, what the fuck!?"
"Must be all that chain smoking you've been doing."
"Just because you're probably right doesn't mean you gotta be a bitch about it!"
"Why not? It's not like keeping my thoughts to myself ever did me any favors."
"..."
"Serious question, Jecka - are you sick or just on the rag? Because you're kinda bitching out of nowhere like you are. Hold on, lemme check."
Out of nowhere, Nicole reached over and put her forehead over mine! I had no choice but to lock onto her blazing blue eyes as she was sensing my temperature. I could smell her cheap JC Penny brand perfume she totally stole from her mom. If I didn't feel hot and sweaty before, I definitely did now!
I gathered as much strength as I could to push her off me. I definitely wasn't nice about it as I shoved her away. I took a few hesitant, soft breaths as I felt my heart beating a million times a second.
"I'm not sick, Nicole! I just need a smoke! Okay!?"
I definitely said that a little too loud. I was already getting looks from the other lunch tables near ours. I walked out of the cafeteria as fast as I could with Nicole's footsteps audibly struggling to keep up behind me.
I finally made it to the courtyard and headed straight for a secluded tree in the corner. People always hide behind it. Other students would use it to shoot up or have awkward, shitty sex between classes. But luckily, we didn't have to witness any awkward humping this time. I finally lit up a ciggy and took a long, blissful drag. I held it in for a long second before looking up at the sky, slowly letting it out. The smoke casually drifted away. The adrenaline from before drained out of me as my heartbeat slowed the fuck down.
"Shit, you're the only one that can make smoking look relaxing… Y'know, instead of making it look miserable by hacking up a lung with the nastiest-sounding smoker cough like I know you'll be doing in a few decades."
"Whatever, Nicole. At least I won't be found dead in my own bathtub from a heroine overdose like I know you'll be doing in a few weeks."
"I'm not desperate enough to try hard drugs… yet. Life might be unbearable but I'm not exactly in a hurry to end up like Lindsay Lohan."
I didn't respond as I finished my first cigarette, almost smoking it down to the filter. God, I was hella stressed out and Nicole definitely wasn't helping. Not with her stupid tangents or her being here. I plucked another cigarette from the pack and jabbed it into my mouth. I hate knowing Nicole was right about the chain smoking. Not that she'll ever hear me admit it. I gave my lighter a few quick rakes as I lit my cigarette for the second time. I took a quick drag from one corner of my mouth and sighed as I exhaled smoke from the other corner.
"Shit, Jecka. If you're going to make us spend the rest of third period here, smoking, you might as well give me one too."
"Yeah, okay. Fine."
I fished another cigarette from the pack that was already more than halfway empty. The sacrifices I make for this girl. I hold out my hand, outstretched. Nicole brushes her fingers over mine, carefully taking the cigarette with her thin, slender fingers. Realizing I was intently focusing on her again, I forced myself to look away as I dug my lighter out of my pathetic jeans pocket. Girls' pants have been, and always will be, the worse.
I suddenly felt Nicole's weight press against me. I froze as I realized her face was leaning so close to mine, as she tried to light her cigarette with mine. The seconds felt like they dragged on forever until her cigarette finally lit up. As she took a nonchalant drag, I slid down the tree, crumpling into a sitting position with my mouth open - my cigarette barely hanging on by a thread. How'd she get so close without me noticing until she was right in my face!?
Oblivious to my reaction, Nicole sat down next to me, finishing her first drag. As she exhaled, I studied her face. Her sleek black hair was slightly contrasted by the bright sunlight that poked through the tree's shade. Her blue irises almost seemed to glow, reflecting the cigarette's orange tip in her eyes. Her glossy lips were perfectly pursed as she exhaled the last of the smoke.
I had let my guard down so much over the near-two years I've spent with her. And I never even realized it until now. Maybe… maybe I didn't need to wait till college… I could quickly feel my face turning red again.
Nicole slightly coughed as she casually flicked the cigarette away.
"God, this brand sucks. This shit even tastes like it'll kill you-"
I went for it. Grabbing her face with both of my hands, I gently but firmly pressed my lips against hers. Time slowed down as I held her in place. My eyes were tightly shut as I felt Nicole with my other senses. She felt… soft. Everything about her felt soft - from her lips, to her breath, to the very aura that surrounded her. This tender sensation just felt so… right.
Then time immediately sped back up as it was Nicole's turn to push me away, breaking apart our intimate contact. Nicole struggled to catch her breath in measured gasps.
"Bitch, you were sucking the air from my lungs! Have you ever kissed anyone on the lips before!? Or do you only blow air kisses to the sugar daddies and teachers you flirt with? Goddamn!"
"Yeah well… you tasted like smoke. Not that I mind."
"At least take me out to dinner first before you try sticking it down my throat."
"Wow, do you say that to all the guys you hustle pills from?"
"Speaking of which, I'll need to pop a couple Percs while I try to process this tonight. I thought I wouldn't have my first lesbian experience until college."
"Me neither."
"…"
"Can we head back to your place for round 2?"
"Only if my brother's not in the house. Otherwise, I can't get into the mood knowing he might barge in at any time."
"You know what, that's fair."
"You know who we should add to the mix though?"
"Who?"
"Jeffrey."
"Yes! I was also thinking the same thing! He'd be the perfect guy for a threesome."
"For real! I think he's really handsome and his glasses look amazing-"
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"-and your voice isn't stupid and also you're tall and have had sex at least once-"
"Jeffrey!"
"What!? Oh, hey Karen. What's up?"
"I've been calling your name for a while. What were you writing that had you so distracted?"
"Uhh… math homework."
"You're having trouble with math? We're the only ones with A pluses in the class, Jeffrey."
"Yeah well, you're never too smart to struggle academically. Heh."
Jeffrey fixed his glasses, supposedly making them gleam in the courtyard's sunlight. He tried to pause for emphasis. And the silence quickly became painful.
"…You know you sometimes make me want to leave you for a black guy, right?"
"Yes, Karen. Everyday."
Across the courtyard, a certain pair of girls were smoking. They were doing their best to remain partially obscured by a tree as they watched the scene play out.
"Hey, Jecka. What do you think the nerds are doing over there?"
"Dunno, Nicole. Probably talking about one of their Korean cartoons again."
"He's really gotta stop fantasizing about girls that'll never, ever love him."
"Heh. Yeah… Imagine…"