Chapter One: The Adventure Begins:
...Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.
"Hagrid's bringing him."
"You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"
"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.
"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?"
A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.
If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild - long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.
"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"
"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sit," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."
"No problems, were there?"
"No, sir - house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol."
Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead, they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.
"Is that where -?" whispered Professor McGonagall.
"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."
"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"
"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. Well - give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with."
Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.
"Could I - could I say goodbye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.
"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"
"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -"
"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.
"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."
"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir."
Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.
"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.
Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.
"Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.*
This scene is how Ignotus Tribus Peverell and Death find young Harry James Potter; alone on a doorstep, at midnight, in November, without a heating charm and only a blanket.
"He'll die soon, you know."
"Yes, but he is to inherit my cloak. We could save his life and raise him to be a mighty wizard. That would also help us to solve our problem of the ineptitude of Wizarding Britan and the corruption in the Ministry. He can improve his government and then the Muggles will not cause massive genocide and an imbalance to Life and Death."
"You do have a point. We should raise Harry and leave a golem set to disintegrate on 31 July 1991 so that no one questions where he has gone."
Ignotus picks up baby Harry so that Death can create a golem from the clay and one of Harry's hairs. Once that is done, Ignotus transfigures a few leaves into baby clothes and a blanket to clothe the golem. And then they leave for Peverell Manor.
(Time Skip)
When Ignotus arrived at Peverell Manor, he was greeted by one of his younger house elves. This young elf's name was Vizzy.
"Ahhh, Vizzy. I need you to set up a nursery in the room across from mine in the colours of green, blue and red. Please set up all of the necessary equipment with the corresponding enchantments."
"Yes, Master Ignotus," and then Vizzy went to do as told.
"Inny!"
"Yes, Master Ignotus?"
"Please watch Little Harry while I go to acquire toys, clothes, and books for him in Diagon Alley. I should only be a couple of hours," Ignotus said as he handed Harry over to Inny.
"Yes, Master Ignotus."
"Good, good. Now to Diagon," and then he apparated to an alley just outside The Leaky Cauldron. As he walked to the back, he could see many people celebrating the end of the Dark Lord Voldemort. Many were drunk or on their way to being drunk. It's what, one thirty in the morning? This behaviour is absolute madness. Ignotus nodded to Tom and carried on to Diagon Alley; where even more wizards and witches were highly intoxicated.
Ignotus walked over to Knockturn Alley, to a somewhat sketchy store called The Little Demon Store. There Ignotus picked out twenty shirts and pants in blue, green, black, red and purple, all with different kinds of designs. Designs like stripes, flowers, duelling wands, etc. He also purchased twelve washable nappies with silver and gold pins, two black coats, ten pairs of green, blue, red and black socks, one pair of black dragonhide boots, and four hats in blue, green, black and red.
Ignotus then picked out green and black acromantula silk bedding for Harry's crib. He also bought about twenty different stuffed animals; Acromantula, Basilisk, Chimaera, Demiguise, Dragon (Antipodean Opaleye, Chinese Fireball, Common Welsh Green, Hebridean Black, Hungarian Horntail, Norwegian Ridgeback, Peruvian Vipertooth, Romanian Longhorn, Swedish Short-Snout and Ukranian Ironbelly), Griffin, Hippogriff, Horned Serpent, Manticore, Nundu and Runespoor. After the stuffed animals, he got several children's storybooks, including The Tales of Beedle the Bard.
Ignotus paid and went back home to set everything up in Harry's new room. He gave the Basilisk stuffed animal to a sleeping Harry, who immediately snuggled it.
(Time Skip)
It's been almost two months since Ignotus took in baby Harry, and everything has been going quite well. All of the house elves adore him and spoil him with treats. Harry is a happy baby and has recently started learning to walk and has about eight or so words down. Harry loves to giggle and is usually laughing while playing with his stuffed animals. His favourites are the two snakes and the Hungarian Horntail.
Ignotus has already blood adopted Harry, making him biologically his son and heir. He has also been in contact with Lucius Malfoy to give Harry a playmate. It is on this late December day that Lucius is set to visit with young Draco.
"Vizzy, is Harry bathed and dressed?"
"Yes, Master Ignotus. Harry is dressed in green today," Vizzy hands Harry to Ignotus.
Ten minutes later, the floo flared and out came Lucius carrying Draco.
"Ahhh, Lord Malfoy. Welcome to our home," Ignotus bowed in respect.
"Thank you for inviting us, Lord Peverell. Is this Harry?"
"Yes, and this must be Draco," both just stared at each other at first before giggling.
"Play?" Harry looked to Ignotus questioningly.
Ignotus and Lucius just laughed and put the children down so that they could interact and play together.
Draco liked playing with Harry. They played with the stuffed dragons and Harry showed Draco his favourite Basilisk stuffed animal.
Meanwhile, the adults discussed politics and worked on drafting a few laws to help the Dark side considerably. Most importantly, the continuation of religious rituals and creature rights.
(Time Skip)
After that first visit, Draco and Harry had many playdates and even went to each other's second birthday parties. They grew into very talented two-year-olds, they learned many more words and loved to play on the swings. They now each had toy trains and blocks, which they liked to play with. Harry acquired a pet runespoor that he named Silvia/Joanna/Cynthia; he thought they were silly and laughed at whatever they talked about.
As for the adults, Narcissa simply adored Harry and spoiled him just as much as Draco with sweets. Lucius and Ignotus have been working on plans for what to do when the Dark Lord returns. Both politically and strategically.
(Time Skip)
Over the years, Ignotus taught Harry about a variety of subjects. He taught him several old languages such as Latin, Greek, Tamil, Egyptian, Hebrew, Basque, Farsi, Gaelic, Arabic, and Sanskrit. Harry is currently working on Mandarin, Cantonese, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, and Japanese. He taught Harry the theories behind various magical fields such as Animal Magic, Battle Magic, Charms, Dark Magic, Earth Magic, Martial Magic, Medical Magic, Mental Magic, Time Magic, Transfiguration, and Weather Magic. Harry even got to try the basics of Transfiguration, Defensive Spells, and Charms. Ignotus also taught Harry Potions and Herbology.
But right now it's five minutes until midnight and Harry is just waiting for whoever Dumbledore is going to send to deliver his letter.
He was on the floor of some cabin while his relatives were sleeping in the bedroom on an actual bed and his cousin on the couch.
"Muggles," Harry hissed exasperatedly.
Harry patted his pocket for the shrunk trunk Ignotus gave him full of all of Harry's self-study books and the invisibility cloak Ignotus gave him for his birthday.
Lily was sleeping in his shirt hidden from sight.
Five...Four...Three...Two...BOOM
'Who the hell did Dumbledore send!?' was what Harry was currently thinking while trying to discreetly soothe Lily, who was startled awake by the sound.
BOOM
"Where's the cannon?" was heard from his stupid cousin, Dudley.
There was a crash behind them, and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands.
"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you; I'm armed!"
SMASH!
The door was hit with such a force that it swung off its hinges and hit the floor.
A giant of a man was standing in the doorway. He was very hairy and had black beetle-like eyes.
'So Hagrid,' Harry thought.
"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey..."
He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.
"Budge up, yeh great lump," said Hagrid.
Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.
"An' here's Harry!" Hagrid stated. "Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby. Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mum's eyes."
Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping sound.
"I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he yelled. "You are breaking and entering!"
"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune," Hagrid said as he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.
Uncle Vernon made another funny sound, like a mouse being trodden on.
"Anyways; Harry," said Hagrid, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here; I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."
From an inside pocket of his black overcoat, he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it and had to refrain from cringing. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with Happy Birthday Harry written on it in green icing.
Harry figured he should probably ask Hagrid's name since he isn't supposed to know him, "Who are you?"
Hagrid chuckled.
"True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts."
He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm.
"What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind."
His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shrivelled crisp bags in it, and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing, but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light.
Hagrid sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea. Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley."
Hagrid chuckled darkly.
"Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry."
He passed the sausages to Harry, who was a bit hungry. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are."
Hagrid gulped tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts; yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course."
'I obviously do not know in this household.' "Er...no," said Harry.
Hagrid looked shocked.
"Sorry," Harry said.
"Sorry?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learned it all?"
"All what?" Harry asked trying to hide his glee.
"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' one second!"
He had lept to his feet. In his anger, he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall. Harry was trying not to show how much fun he was having on his face. Who knew frightening muggles was so entertaining.
"Do you mean to tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy...this boy!...know nothin' abou'...about ANYTHING?"
Harry was so enjoying this. 'Let's make this even better.'
"I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."
But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer parents' world."
Harry internally laughed and he could feel the amusement coming from Lily. "What world?"
"DURSLEY!" he boomed.
Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "mimblewimble." Hagrid stared wildly at Harry.
'Damn. I'm a good actor.'
"But yeh must know about yer mom and dad," he said. "I mean they're famous. You're famous."
'This is too good.' "What? My...my mum and dad weren't famous, were they?"
"Yeh don' know...yeh don' know..." Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare.
"Yeh don' know what yeh are?" he said finally.
Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.
"Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sit! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"
A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.
"You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?"
"Kept what from me?" said Harry with fake eagerness.
"STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic.
Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.
"Ah, go boil yet heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid. "Harry - yet a wizard."
There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.
"I'm a what?" fake gasped Harry, who was still thoroughly enjoying himself.
"A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."
Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Mr H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. He pulled out the letter and read:
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31. Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall,
Deputy Headmistress
After a few minutes, he fake stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"
"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl - a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl - a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:
Dear Professor Dumbledore,
Given Harry his letter.
Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.
Weather's horrible. Hope you're Well.
Hagrid
Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone.
"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.
"He's not going," he said.
Hagrid grunted.
"I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.
"A what?" said Harry in fake interest.
"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like thern. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."
'Or not.'
"We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"
"You knew?" said Harry. "You knew I'm a-a wizard?"
"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that-that school-and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was - a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"
She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had wanted to say all this for years.
"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as-as - abnormal - and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"
Harry had gone very white. 'These muggles told me that they died in a car crash?' Harry thought as the information was whispered to him by Death, who had been the one to switch him out with the dead golem. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"
"CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"
Harry wasn't in the mood but knew he needed to ask. "But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.
The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious.
"I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh - but someone's gotta - yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'."
He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.
"Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh - mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it..."
He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called - but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows -"
"Who?"
"Well - I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."
"Why not?"
"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was..."
Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.
"Could you write it down?" Harry suggested.
"Nah -can't spell it. All right - Voldemort. " Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this-this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too - some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches... terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him - an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.
"Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side.
"Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em... maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' - an' -"
Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.
"Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad - knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find - anyway..."
"You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then - an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing - he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a Powerful, evil curse touches yeh - took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even - but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age - the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts - an' you was only a baby, an' you lived."
As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw the blinding flash of green light and the high, cold, cruel laugh again.
Hagrid was watching him sadly. "Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot..."
"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.
"Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured - and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion - asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types - just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end -"
But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley -I'm warning you - one more word... "
In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.
"That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.
"But what happened to Vol-, sorry - I mean, You-Know-Who?"
"Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see... he was gettin' more an' more powerful - why'd he go?
"Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don~ reckon they could've done if he was comin' back.
"Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on - I dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin' about you stumped him, all right."
Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes.
"Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish - spell books and wands and -"
"If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter' s son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born. He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled-"
"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL To TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.
But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER," he thundered, "- INSULT- ALBUS- DUMBLEDORE IN- FRONT- OF- ME!"
He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley - there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.
Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.
Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.
"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."
He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows.
"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm - er - not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff - one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job."
'What an idiot. Why was he sent anyways? A teacher is supposed to be sent.' "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well - I was at Hogwarts meself but I - er - got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."
"Why were you expelled?"
"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."
He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry, who tried not to cringe.
"You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' dormice in one o' the pockets."
'Not after Lily eats them while we sleep.'