She was different when she came back to town. He couldn't see a trace of the girl he'd fallen in love with eighteen years ago. He only saw a woman jaded by the years of loving a lawman. One too many broken promises, bullets, and rides out of town had loosened his grip on her heart.
He had pushed her into the arms of another. He questioned if it had been over between them for a while - if they had been holding on to the familiar because that was easier than starting over. Perhaps he'd flirted with denial more than with her.
She was moving on from him. She was further away from him with every minute spent with that gunslinger. If she still held anything for him, she didn't show it. The thought of her painted red lips kissing another hurt him worse than any gunshot.
He knew she wanted more out of the years than memories. He couldn't give that to her. He couldn't give her the gold band with a diamond, the home with flowers in the windowsill, and the blue-eyed babies. His wife was his badge. Kitty Russell was his mistress.
She deserved a man that would allow her heart be out in the open to love wildly and unreservedly. He thought that had been him until seeing her with another man.
"I was just a kid when we met, Matt, and I was gonna live forever. I knew how things had to be with us, and it was all right. But I thought that someday, some far-off someday, that things would change. And Matt, my somedays are almost gone."
She had stripped his heart bare. He realized he had become a 6-foot 7-inch heartache to her, and he couldn't tell her to say no. He had no right to dictate her heart. It was her choice - hers and hers alone.
Her perfume lingered in the office. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, drawing in the warm, floral notes remaining in the air. He'd never taken his whiskey to extremes, but he found himself in a bottle. He wrapped his calloused fingers around the drinking glass, knocking back the rotgut and letting it burn down his throat. He opened his eyes and stared at the door, wishing she'd turn around and come back to him. He wanted her to choose him, but he wasn't certain she would.
As much as it pained him, he'd let her become an old flame if that's what it took to make her happy.
Author's Note: Inspired by Kitty's Love Affair (written by Paul Savage, Joan E. Gessler, and Susan Kotar) and Watching My Old Flame sung by Cody Johnson.