Hi everyone :)
This was heavily inspired by "Take Me Back to Eden" and "Rain" by Sleep Token, so I recommend giving them a listen :)br /
This fic is going to be a tad bit longer than my other two, but still on the shorter side. But I have some full-length fics in the works, so stay tuned for those coming out soon! Thank you to everyone leaving Kudos on Just Don't Get Too Close and Not Quite Me, it really makes my whole day to see /
Happy reading!
- jonas lee 23
Peridot paced across the floor of the barn, rain pounding steadily against the roof. She had been on Earth for almost a month now, and each day felt like it had lasted a year. She had tinkered with the idea of building a new ship and setting course for Homeworl with the primitive equipment available to her in the barn, or going out on a quest to find the remnants of her old ship, but knew no matter what she did, she'd only be on a one-way trip to being shattered. She'd tried everything she could think of to come up with a reason to return to Homeworld that would spare her from Yellow Diamond's wrath, and short of selling out the Crystal Gems, she'd do just about anything to turn back the clock and go home. She was desperate to return to the only life she'd ever had on the only world she'd ever known, and the thought of never being able to return ate away at her every day. Peridot had truly lost everything; her limb enhancers, her Robonoids, her ship, her status, her position for Yellow Diamond, and along the way, she had lost herself. She was furious at herself for letting her life derail so intensely, for failing the most high-stakes mission she had ever been given.
Who am I now? Not quite a Homeworld gem, not quite a Crystal Gem. It's just me and this awful, cold, barn. Steven says I'll get used to it, but I can't see how. He's such a clod. Everyone here on this awful planet is a fucking clod. Peridot sighed deeply, climbing up to the loft and flopping on the couch Steven had found for her. "I can't go back. I can never go back..." She watched the rain fall through the window, shivering slightly. In the short time she had spent on Earth, it had rained almost every day, but she still didn't feel any better about the phenomenon. If anything, the rain made her hate Earth even more. The cold and wet had a way of seeping into the barn, having little real protection from the elements, and it seeped its way into her spirit, leaving her feeling lethargic and hopeless.
"Log date... I don't even fucking know anymore. I'm still stuck on this miserable rock of a planet. I think I may be slipping into complete and total insanity. I have no real purpose here, no mission, no drive... I know Yellow Diamond would have me shattered instantly if I ever dared to set foot on Homeworld again, but I still think about going back all the time. I don't know how to be anything else. I've decided to try to spend more time at the temple. I'm going to be a Crystal Gem someday, after all... That's really the only thing left to be. And staying alone in this dumpy ass barn all the time is going to make me lose my mind, or at least what's left of it."
"Log date 69420. I have been discreetly trying to observe Amethyst. Clearly, she's the best out of all these Crystal Gems. More like Crystal Clods... well, except for her. I don't think she's really a clod at all. Surprisingly, I think quite highly of Amethyst. She's really seemed to come into her own on Earth, despite where she came from. We have a... peculiar relationship. She gets on my nerves all the time, but despite that, I feel drawn to her somehow, in a way that I haven't felt for anyone before." She paced back and forth over the bottom floor of the barn as she spoke, a darker tinge of green dusting her cheeks. "I don't know how to even describe it. It seems like no matter how often we're together, I want more time with her." She shook her head, sighing softly. "I wish... I wish I could go back to Homeworld. I hate this planet, I really do; with its stupid seasons and the scary thunderstorms; but Steven wore me down. Even though this planet would be better purposed as a gem colony, I suppose it really isn't fair to all the creatures that live here if we fracture their planet. I wouldn't want someone else to fracture Homeworld. I guess I've developed a conscience of sorts while on Earth. Ugh. But at least I'm not alone here. I have my new friends in the Crystal Gems, and I suppose soon I might become a Crystal Gem, too. And I have Amethyst... Gah! What am I even saying?" Peridot sighed in exasperation, flopping dramatically on the floor of the barn and staring up at the ceiling, thumb still holding the record button. "I feel like as long as I stay in good standing with Amethyst, maybe my time here on Earth won't be so bad."
A loud honking sound startled Peridot, and she screamed, jumping up off the floor and abruptly ending her recording. She looked up to see Connie and Steven clambering out of the car stored in the barn, eyes wide and starry.
"Steven! Connie!" She shouted. "What are you doing listening in on my log dates?!"
Steven blushed, scratching the back of his head. "We came in here to see what you were up to, and we heard you doing your log date, so we hid in the car to wait for you to finish. But then I heard you talking about Amethyst, so I leaned forward to listen, and I slipped and I hit the horn. I was never gonna tell you that I heard any of it, honest!"
"That's not the point! You can't tell Amethyst about anything that I just said! Swear it on your life!"
"Aww, you like her!" Steven grinned.
"Peridot's got a cruuuush!" Connie teased, laughing at the dark blush spreading across Peridot's face.
"I do not! I-I don't even know what that means! I don't know what any of this means!" She groaned, hiding her face in her hands.
"That's okay! That's the beautiful thing about Earth. You have a blank canvas to explore and learn about your feelings."
"Be that as it may, you still can't tell her... There was never really any time for this kind of thing on Homeworld, you know. I don't have any kind of experience." She looked down, wrapping an arm around herself. "Not that it matters anyway. I doubt that she would even look twice at me."
"Aw, Peri! You don't know that." Connie insisted.
"What do you mean? Do you know something I don't?"
"No, but we could find out." Connie looked at Steven with a sly grin. "We could try to sleuth it out of her."
"That would be awesome!" Steven exclaimed. "We can be love spies!"
"I'm not so sure that's a good idea. It's an invasion of her privacy. And it could go really badly."
"We just gotta set things up so you two can get some alone time! Connie and I will go hang out in Beach City, and we'll get Pearl and Garnet in on it and send them on a date or a mission. Then you two will be the only ones left at the temple."
"Steven, are you sure about this? We're gonna be on the same team, and we'll see each other all the time. Wouldn't this complicate things?"
"We never know how it'll turn out, but I think you'd regret it if you didn't at least try to test the waters a little bit."
"Okay... Let's do it."