Kurt's Dream Puck
Disclaimer: I have never owned Glee.
Chapter 1: This Is Not Blaine.
Kurt Anderson was tied to a chair, naked, with a blindfold on, while what is assumed to be his husband, Blaine, sucked on his penis in front of their friends at his thirty-first birthday party. However, Blaine had never gagged on his penis before, nor did he suck it more than once. Kurt was then untied and carried to a bedroom where he saw Noah Puckerman pacing around the room, trying to say something before he kissed him, and Kurt tasted himself in Noah's mouth.
Kurt goes into the guest bathroom and grabs some mouthwash, taking a swig before handing it to Noah and saying, "I don't care who dared you to do this, Puck. Dad told me about what your squad did to you. He also said that you're working at Mick's now. I'll be right back." Kurt storms out of the bedroom, picks up his clothes off the floor, and glares at the others.
He headed back to Noah's room and put his boxers on. Then he said, "Knowing you, Puck. I might not be wearing these for long, and I can tell you don't want to be with Quinn right now." Noah locked the door but said nothing as he stared at Kurt's butt.
As Noah undressed, he told Kurt, "No one dared me to do that, Kurt. Blaine was too chicken to suck you off, and he kept looking at his buddy, Boss. Karofsky and Santana just glared at him. I felt bad for you and sucked you off to piss Blaine off. But after, no one stopped me or did anything to keep me from trying to trick you. Well, I thought I would see how far I could get with you, and you know the rest." When Noah got to his boxers, he pulled them down to his knees and sat on the bed.
Kurt sat beside Noah and held his penis in his hand, saying, "Blaine is having an affair with Sebastian Smythe. He told me about it before you guys arrived. I never had a crush on you, but you became my dream man, Puck." Noah moaned in pleasure as Kurt licked the tip of his penis before giving him the best blowjob he'd ever had.
Soon, the two men were naked, sucking each other off. Noah didn't gag once; plus, he tongued Kurt's pucker, which Blaine had never done. Soon, Noah was on his back with his legs over his head as Kurt lubed his ass before he inserted his penis inside. As Kurt moved in and out of him, Noah moaned in pleasure so loudly that everyone heard it outside.
As Kurt exploded inside of him, Noah said, "Could you call me Noah, Princess?"
He explained, "That's why Tracy calls me Nono. I didn't want you yelling at me if she said fuck or suck. So I taught her to call me Nono."
\Kurt chuckles and says, "Are you sure it's not because you tell her no more than anyone else, Noah? By the way, Tracy calls The Hulk 'Nono.' Is it true you have more guns than Dad ever dreamed of?" Noah grabs his phone and shows him a picture.
Then Kurt yells, "Quinn, you better be outside that door when I get up! Because you're about to have a threesome with me and Puck!" When Kurt goes to open the door, Quinn is standing in front of him naked with a strap-on she borrowed from Santana, and Dave Karofsky is standing behind her.
Dave blushed as he said, "Puck might not have been dared to suck you, but Quinn dared me to let Puck fuck me while she fucked him with Santana's strap-on." Dave and Kurt chuckled as Noah protested against Quinn's request.
Then Quinn says, "I doubt Karofsky wants to fuck Kurt knowing Blaine left him for Boss. Now fuck Karofsky, or I will tell Kurt the truth about our breakup." Noah complies but looks at Kurt the entire time. Soon, Kurt trades places with Dave, and Quinn lowers herself onto Noah and Kurt's penises as Dave texts Santana.
Soon, Santana and Brittany peek in as Dave leaves, telling Santana, "How can Quinn join them, knowing Kurt got his dad together with Mrs. H so he could date Finn? I don't get it."
It wasn't long before Quinn, Noah, and Kurt returned to the party dressed, seeing Rachel naked and passed out on the couch. Then Jesse came in as Rachel woke up. Soon, she looked at Quinn and unzipped her jeans. Quinn stopped her before joining Jesse in a guest room. Jesse winked at Noah as he helped Quinn out of her jeans. Noah and Kurt chuckled as Rachel and Quinn protested against having sex with each other.
Noah kisses Kurt as they sit on the couch and says, "To be honest, Kurt. I did what I did to piss everyone off. I thought you would throw me out before we could have sex, and I never thought any of this would happen. By the way, I'm working at Mick's now, and the guys there call me Mr. P."
Noah pulled Kurt onto his lap and asked, "If you were into me back in high school, how would you have tried to get me to be your boyfriend?"
Kurt says, "I would have gotten you drunk and tied you to my bed. Then I would have fucked you until you were begging for it." Noah glares at Kurt, who busts out laughing but says nothing.
Noah chuckles as he says, "I bet you would have begged your dad to adopt Beth and turned your basement bedroom into an apartment for us after I came out or was outed by all the girls I fucked. You probably would have also told Blaine I was your boyfriend if we both went to Dalton because of Karofsky." Kurt blushes but says nothing as Noah kisses his neck.
Soon, Quinn storms out of Rachel's room naked, holding her clothes in her hand. She says, "That's it! Kurt, I hope you had a great birthday, but I've had all I can stand. First, Puck decided he was gay after being with you once. Now, Rachel feels guilty for stealing Finn from me. Can this day get any worse?" As she slips and falls on one of Tracy's toys, spraining her ankle, Noah and Kurt chuckle. Noah and Jesse try to help Quinn up, but she refuses and crawls to her room crying.
Kurt gathered Quinn's clothes and followed her to her room. Then Quinn screamed, "Get out and leave me alone! You've done enough already!"
There was a pause, and then Quinn yelled, "Because it was your birthday! Did you think I wanted to be with you and Puck? I can't believe Puck fucked Karofsky too!"
She paused again, then yelled, "I thought he would yell at me and say he isn't gay, Kurt! I never thought he would want to be your dream man or decide he loves your dick inside him more than being in me!" Quinn soon hobbled out of the room with one shoe on, dragging her suitcase while glaring at Noah, and slipped on the toys again, spraining the other ankle.
She let Jesse take her to the ER this time; as they left, Burt and Carole arrived with Tracy. Burt talked to Noah privately, saying, "I take it Quinn is mad at Kurt because he finally got one of her ex-boyfriends. By the way, Norah knows the real reason you quit the Navy. Did you tell General Patterson to screw himself after saving a girl in your squad from being gang-raped?"
Noah frowns and says, "Yes, Mr. H. I don't remember what happened to me. I remember getting hit in the head and waking up naked on the ground. I let everybody think I quit because I couldn't handle the truth."
Burt squeezes Noah's shoulder and says, "I was there, Puck. They shoved a bat in both of us. I woke up before you and went to get help after pulling it out of your butt. You passed out again in my arms, and Carole had to take us to the hospital."
Burt chuckles and continues, "Kurt isn't the only one Quinn is mad at. After you broke off your engagement with her, she suspected you were gay because Norah told her what happened to you and blamed me for you being gay."
Noah sits on the bed and breaks down as Kurt enters and sits beside him. Noah holds Kurt as he says, "I don't remember the attack! How could Quinn think this was Kurt's fault? Today was my first time with Kurt or any guy, and she acted like she was okay with it until her meltdown earlier."
Rachel then states, "Puck, nothing happened. As soon as we chickened out on the threesome with Jesse, Quinn thought I planned it so I could say I'm sorry and flipped out." Burt looks over at Carole, who was peeking into the room, but said nothing.
When Jesse returns with Quinn, their other friends return for the second day of Kurt's birthday week. Quinn ignores everyone and wheels her new wheelchair to Tracy's room after seeing Tracy standing in her doorway, holding her suitcase.
They soon heard Quinn say to Tracy, "Nono doesn't love me. He loves your daddy, Tracy. He wants to be your new papa."
Tracy replies, "Sorry, Queenie. This is all my fault. I wanted a new papa because my papa was leaving me. I'm sorry, I wanted Nono as my new papa. Please, forgive me, Queenie." They both cry themselves to sleep, and Burt peeks in to see them in their matching nightgowns.
Noah looked in on them and said, "Quinn bought the nightgowns on Tracy's birthday after a fight with Beth. Quinn found out the week before that none of her eggs were viable. I broke off the engagement to give her time to heal. I never meant to fall for Kurt, Mr. H."
Before Burt could respond, Quinn said, "Puck, I'm sorry. I was venting to Blaine about Beth being my only good egg. According to him, he cheated on Kurt because he dreamt about Puck for six months. Blaine said Puck fit a list Kurt made back in high school."
Burt takes a piece of paper from his wallet and says, "I found this in Finn's room. I was tempted to put it in the box we gave you, but I knew if Kurt had found out who gave you the list, we would never hear the end of it. He might still freak out, but I'm sure Tracy will be 13 by then."
Quinn chuckles as she whispers to Tracy, "I'm glad Nono will be your papa now. I doubt Beth would want a daddy like Grandpa Burt."
Then Noah and Burt glare at them before Quinn says, "Look at you two! How does Kurt not see it? I wish I noticed this earlier." The men soon realize they are dressed alike and standing in the same position.
Then Noah whispers, "I hope Mrs. H doesn't find out about us playing paintball together." And Carole and Kurt both clear their throats.
Before anyone could speak, Tracy got up and yelled, "Daddy thought Poopy Blend was his soulmate, but he was wrong! Now, Daddy has Papa Noah! Noah in the Bible saved his family from the flood, and Papa Noah saved Daddy Kurt's heart on his birthday! He may have broken Queenie's heart, but God broke it first! So stop worrying! If you two keep worrying, you'll have heart attacks!"
As she headed back to her room, Quinn broke down. Noah picked her up, along with Tracy, and carried them both into the living room. He sat on the couch with Quinn and Tracy on his lap. Tina Abrams, who was six months pregnant, said, "Quinn, we have been thinking about who we want to be our daughter's godparents. Even though you and Puck aren't together, we think you would make great godparents."
Quinn looked at Noah and Kurt before saying, "As long as your baby goes to them, Tina. I'm fine with this. Kurt and Puck have wanted to be parents since Beth was born. Then I shattered Puck's dreams of ever being a good dad when I decided to give Beth to Shelby."
Noah wiped a tear from Quinn's eye as he said, "Quinn, we were too young to raise Beth, and you better be glad Mr. H isn't with mom right now." Quinn elbowed him but didn't respond.
Burt chuckles and shakes his head before they notice Blaine returning with Sebastian. Burt picks Quinn up, and Tracy runs to Carole. Then Noah gets up and gets in Blaine's face, yelling, "You have ten seconds to get the hell out of here before I show everybody here why Kurt chose me to replace you." Blaine makes a snide remark before Noah punches him in the face, breaking his nose so badly that it starts to bleed.
As Blaine leaves with Sebastian, Tracy says, "Bye-bye, Hobbit." Then Noah picks her up and they dance together while My Little Girl by Tim McGraw plays on the radio.
As Noah and Tracy dance, Quinn tells Kurt, "I know it's your birthday, but I think Tracy just got her wish."
Kurt chuckled and said, "Now I get it. You weren't mad at me or Rachel; you were upset because you knew Tracy got the dad she wanted."
Soon, Burt takes Tracy from Noah and tells Quinn, "No, Kurt, it's because you got your Dream Puck." Burt meant to say Dream Man but said Dream Puck to embarrass Kurt.
Noah put Tracy on his shoulders and said, "Quinn, I never do anything halfway. I may have been a butthead to Kurt before the attack, but I promised myself after the attack, I would make it up to him. I know that becoming his boyfriend won't fix everything I did to him, but I hope being Tracy's daddy will."
He chuckles and continues, "Tracy has been calling us the Hulks since Kurt's birthday last year, Mr. H. Plus, I'm sure Mrs. H and Quinn would agree with me on this, but I know you wanted a son-in-law like me since Kurt was six." Burt says nothing and storms out as he notices Blaine has returned.
Noah hands Tracy to Carole and follows Burt outside before punching Blaine. Blaine punches Burt in the face before Noah bodyslams him. Then he helps Burt circle him. With Burt and Noah dressed alike and Blaine seeing double after being hit by Burt, Blaine has a hard time hitting either of them. Then Noah grabs Blaine by the neck and yells, "Finn died thinking you were a good guy! Blaine, the last twenty-four hours have changed my life forever, and I can't wait until Kurt divorces your ass!" Then he knocks Blaine out with one good punch before Sebastian picks him up as Noah and Burt glare at him.
As they head inside, Burt says, "By the way, you know, Puck. I'm on Viagra. I would be proud to be your father-in-law and call me Burt, Puck."
He chuckled as he whispered, "I haven't told Kurt yet, but we moved back to Lima yesterday, and I will be working at Mick's on Monday. I decided to step down after the attack on us, and I knew about Blaine before we got here because Kurt told me."
Burt watched Tracy play with Sam and told Noah, "Kurt and Blaine's relationship was always toxic. Plus, from what I can see, you have changed for the better, Puck. I can't wait until you make Kurt a Puckerman and show Tracy's dates why people call you Mr. P."
Noah chuckles and whispers, "Keep it down, Burt. I haven't told Kurt about that yet. God, don't make me regret this." Burt chuckles and bumps Noah as Tracy runs to him, saying, "Papa Noah!" but doesn't say anything else.
Kurt then clears his throat and says, "I knew about that since Santana lived with me and Rachel in New York. I heard them talking about your bladder, and Santana admitted that you were the one who filled those balloons. Now, I want to know if that's why you have a Super Soaker."
Kurt looked at the others and said to Burt, "Tracy told me about you moving back when you had your fight with Blaine."
He takes Noah's hand, looks at Quinn, and says to Noah, "This house belongs to Blaine, and I don't want to live with Dad and Carole."
Noah picks Kurt up and says, "Yes, Kurt, you can move in with me."
He glanced at Burt as he said, "Kurt, I know getting a bat shoved up me didn't make me gay, and Quinn was right. After being with you, I don't want to be with anyone else. I love you, Kurt. I know this is fast, but I want to be the man of your dreams."
Kurt kissed Noah and said, "This just became the best birthday of my life, Noah, and I love you, too. Let's have sex in Blaine's bed one last time." Noah growled with a smirk and carried Kurt to his bedroom.
Then Tina leads Quinn and Artie to their room and says, "Don't worry, Quinn. I don't want to be with you. But since Kitty isn't here and is your mini-me. I want to see if Artie will object to seeing us naked." As they enter the bedroom, Quinn unbuttons her blouse in response and reveals she has no bra on.
An hour later, Kurt sat on Noah's lap while he was sitting on the couch with the others. Then Sam asked, "Kurt, did Blaine tell you about getting me drunk?"
Kurt sighs and says, "Yes, and the other things."
Sam looks at Noah and says, "You may not have been raped, but I was. I only came here for Kurt and haven't talked to Blaine since he raped me." Kurt hugs Sam, but says nothing. Sam leaves after Mercedes arrives as the others can tell he can't face her.
Mercedes soon asks Noah if they can talk alone. When they are alone, she says, "I heard you are gay now. And about the attack on Blaine. I'm sure you will pick Quinn as the surrogate, but I hope I'm the godmother."
She whispers, "I hope you let me get a piece of Blaine next time. I mean, I was Kurt's best friend first."
Noah chuckles and whispers, "If you get a piece of Blaine, Kurt might finally let you be the surrogate."
Noah sees a picture of everybody after New Directions' first win and says, "Be honest, if Kurt got me drunk and I became his boyfriend, do you think Finn would still have freaked out?"
Mercedes pulls out a picture from her purse and says, "Kurt doesn't know I have this. By the way, that is not you."
Noah looked at the picture while Mercedes continued, "To answer your question: I think Kurt would freak out if he figured out you were like his dad."
Then Quinn says, "He already did when he watched Puck and Burt beat up Blaine." Mercedes notices that Quinn's blouse is still open.
Mercedes locked the door as she said, "Sam lied. He was also having an affair with Blaine. I don't want to be with Santana, Tina, or Rachel. But unlike them, I will suck your nipples." Kurt entered, and Mercedes put Quinn on the bed before she started sucking her nipples. Soon, everyone was on Mercedes' tour bus, heading to Noah's house to help Kurt move out.
Everyone helps unpack Kurt's things as Noah takes Kurt to his bedroom. They soon undress, and Noah picks up Kurt before kissing his neck as the others leave. Before long, Noah records Kurt riding his penis and sends the video to Blaine with the message, "I guess that Tracy calling me Papa wasn't a mistake. What I did to you today is just a taste of what you'll get this weekend if you don't show up tomorrow. Plus, I will tell everyone about you killing Finn. Did you forget Finn was my best friend? Did you think he wouldn't tell me about you giving him drugs? Do you want me to tell everybody you are drugging Sam now?" Blaine didn't respond, and Noah shut off his phone.
He kisses Kurt and says, "I challenged Blaine to a fight last week after catching him cheating on you with a guy from my squad. Don't tell your dad or Carole this, but Blaine gave Finn the drugs he took before he died."
Kurt sighed and said, "I know, Noah. He told me before the party. I also know Dad plans to go with you."
Kurt kisses Noah again and says, "When I blew out my candles, I wished to find the guy I dreamt about as a boy before I fell for Finn. You're that guy, Noah." They soon drift off to sleep, smiling as they dream of their future together.
Chapter 2 will be up soon.