Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Stargate or its characters, but I love to write about them.
Reflections.
John sat staring at the gloomy ocean as he reflected on the last days of the war with the Wraith.
The night was dark, as the planet's three moons hadn't risen yet. The only light to see was the faint stars. And from where he sat, they were dim and sparsely scattered across the night sky. The night was cold, so he pulled the blanket covering him up around his shoulders. He knew that he should go to bed, but not now. He was positive he wouldn't sleep without bad dreams tonight.
The galaxy was now at peace, but at what cost? Atlantis had lost so much as had Todd and his hives.
Scars covered his body from the long war, and his bones ached from the numerous broken bones he'd suffered during the war. Proving he wasn't a young man any longer.
He rarely saw Todd these days as they had moved Atlantis several times since the war ended. And the Wraith kept to themselves on planets on the opposite side of the Pegasus galaxy.
How many people had Atlantis lost, five, ten, one hundred, he'd lost count. A few losses stood out in his mind, and although the pain of their loss had faded, he still thought of them every day. Carson and Elizabeth were the first ones who came to mind. He'd lost count of how many years ago they died, but the memories of their faces still lived in his mind.
A noise behind him caught his attention, and he turned his head to find Torren looking at him.
Looking at Torren made him think of Kannan, another life lost in the war. The Wraith had attacked the Athosian homeworld and killed Kanaan, Jinto and Halling. Torren had come to live on Atlantis after that. He had then tried to help Teyla raise her son. Initially, she didn't want his help because she was busy mourning her partner, but slowly, Teyla let him into her life.
Torren was now eight years old and looked more like his mother everyday. That made him smile, "What can I do for you, Torren?"
"Shouldn't you be resting?"
"I am resting."
"I think you should go to bed," Torren suggested thoughtfully.
"Don't worry, I'll go soon," John said with a small smile.
"Don't stay out here too long because you don't need to end up in the infirmary again."
Despite his gloomy mood, he chuckled at the kid, "Goodnight, Torren."
"Goodnight."
Once Torren left, he turned to stare at the ocean once again. One of the moons was just above the horizon, giving him a little more light to see by. He could see storm clouds on the horizon and wondered if they were in for a storm. It was common for this time of the year on the planet Atlantis called home.
He thought back to the final battle of the war. It had been brutal, and Atlantis had lost many good men and women. That was the battle where he'd lost his best friend and brother. A few minor skirmishes followed, but nothing as devastating as the battle where he'd lost Ronon and Rodney.
It was supposed to be a simple mission, to blow up the Wraith's first queen and her hive, but the Wraith knew they were coming. Initially, he suspected Todd had given them away, but eventually, they found out it was a Wraith in Todd's inner circle. Todd was so angry when he found out who had betrayed him that he stabbed the culprit in front of John. That was something that still plagued his dreams.
The minute they'd stepped on the hive, all hell broke loose, and before he knew what was happening, Rodney was dying in his arms, the life sucked out of him by a Wraith.
Rodney was looking at a console and downloading information when a Wraith drone spun him around and started feeding on him. John had tried to kill the Wraith, but it wouldn't die. Finally, Ronon managed to kill it, but it was too late. Rodney was already close to death.
By this time, Todd didn't need to feed on humans, and there was no one else he could ask to restore Rodney's life. So, all he could do was comfort Rodney in his final minutes.
He gave himself a few minutes to compose himself before he ordered the team to leave, but Ronon was furious by what happened to Rodney. So the Satedan, went on a rampage through the ship, killing many Wraith. Ronon was so angry that he missed a Wraith behind him and was stabbed through the heart, dying instantly.
For a long time, he wondered if he could have done something to prevent Ronon's death. But he knew he couldn't have done anything differently. Teyla was severely injured and in danger of dying. And he was trying to get her back to the Jumper so they could return to Atlantis.
They'd lost ten men and Women on that mission, including Rodney and Ronon. He, Lorne, and Teyla were the only ones to leave the ship alive. Todd had stayed in the hive, killing as many Wraith as possible. Todd eventually destroyed the ship.
When they returned to Atlantis, he discovered Teyla had massive internal bleeding and several broken bones, so the doctors feared she wouldn't survive. She slipped into a coma and didn't wake up for a month.
After Todd blew up that hive, he managed to destroy two more, leading the remaining Wraith to surrender. A peace treaty was signed, and the Wraith, who hadn't been injected with the retro-virus to stop them feeding on humans, were ordered to do so.
There had been a huge celebration, but he wasn't in the mood because Teyla was still in a coma, and he couldn't bury Rodney and Ronon because Atlantis didn't manage to get their bodies off the hive ship before Todd blew it up.
The Wraith left Atlantis' part of the Galaxy and found planets to settle on. Todd contacted them on occasion, but the Wraith mainly kept to themselves.
The months that followed the peace treaty were difficult for John, and he found himself back on Earth answering to the IOA on more than one occasion. Eventually, he was promoted to Colonel and allowed to return to Atlantis. But there was always a dull ache from the loss of his friends.
After he returned to Atlantis, he spent most of his time with Teyla and Torren. Teyla still struggled with her injuries from the final battle and needed constant help.
The more time he spent with her, the more he realised he loved Teyla, and six months later, they were married. They honeymooned on Earth in Maui and then spent a week with his brother Dave. They'd had a wonderful time together, as Torren had stayed on Atlantis with Jennifer Keller.
The galaxy was at peace, so there wasn't a lot of fighting to do, so he spent a lot of his time helping Zeleka research and test ancient devices. Zelenka was promoted to chief scientist after Rodney had died. Radek had taken on the role reluctantly, as the little scientist was missing his friend.
Things ran smoothly over the next few years, and despite Rodney and Ronon missing from his life, he was reasonably content.
His twin boys had been born two years after the end of the war, and he had named them Rodney and Ronon in remembrance of his friends. Luckily, Teyla had agreed.
His life was complete, and a year later, his daughter Charin Elizabeth was born. At the time, his life was perfect.
That was until five weeks ago when he and Teyla were involved in a terrible jumper accident.
They were on a routine mission visiting some allies when the jumper was hit by a small meteorite, damaging the shields. That was enough to let a bigger rock hit the hull and throw their jumper off course.
He'd tried his best to control the jumper, but before he knew what was happening, he was skimming the atmosphere of an unknown planet. He'd tried to prevent the jumper from entering the atmosphere, but it was too late, and the jumper entered the atmosphere.
He'd tried to miss the trees in their path as they approached the ground, but there were too many of them. The jumper ground to a halt when it slammed into a tree, and Teyla was killed on impact.
He'd broken his legs and had massive internal bleeding due to the incident. Jennifer had explained that he'd died three times, and getting his heart started again the third time was difficult.
Waking up in the infirmary two days later was the most devastating day of his life because Carson had informed him that Teyla was dead, and at that moment, he had no idea how he would survive without her.
For the next few weeks, he was miserable and depressed. Torren brought Rodney, Ronon and Charin to visit him everyday, but it barely lifted his mood.
He'd laid Teyla to rest a week ago when Jennifer had released him from the infirmary, and right now, he was trying to pull himself together for the sake of his children.
The Funeral was lovely. He had laid his beloved wife to rest on the mainland in a field of wildflowers.
Torren had been a source of constant strength since Teyla had died, but he feared he was asking too much of his son.
Suddenly, a flash of lightning lit up the sky, and a loud clap of thunder roared through the night.
The thunder startled him out of his reflections, and when he looked up, he saw a strange white light in the distance. It appeared to be coming closer, and he instantly knew it wasn't lighting.
He went to tap his comms and soon realised he'd left it in his apartment. Considering he was on medical leave, he didn't have a weapon either. Not that shooting a gun at a strange anomaly would make any difference.
Within a few minutes, the anomaly was in front of him, and a strange figure walked out. The face was blurred, and he felt afraid. What was a man in a wheelchair with two broken legs supposed to do?
The face of the figure cleared up, and he was surprised to see Ronon standing there. Rodney walked out of the anomaly a split second later, and both men looked the same way they had when they'd died.
"Umm…" was all he managed to say.
"Hey, Sheppard, how are you?" Ronon asked, slapping him on the back.
"Yes, yes, just hit the injured man," Rodney began. "What have you done to yourself this time?"
He had no idea what was going on. Was he seeing ghosts, had his friends ascended, or was he dreaming?
Opening his mouth, he tried to ask what was happening, and all he could say was, "Umm…"
Before anyone said anything else, a flash of lightning lit up the sky, and a loud clap of thunder roared through the night.
"What are you guys doing here in the middle of a storm? He finally asked his friends.
"What do you think, genius?" Rodney asked in his usual acerbic tone.
Turning to stare at Rodney, he tried to remain calm because everything about this was freaking him out, "I don't know what to think because I have no idea what's happening. I was sitting here thinking about you guys, and then you turned up."
Ronon answered him in a surprisingly gentle tone," We just want to make sure you're okay."
He felt tears brimming in his eyes. He'd mourned for his friends long ago, but seeing them made things difficult for him, especially since he was still grieving for Teyla. The truth was all he could think about at that moment was Teyla.
"I will be."
"Don't remain in this depressed state," Ronon began, "the Wraith are defeated, and the galaxy is at peace. I died doing what I was born to do."
Rodney's countenance changed, and he became serious, "The Pegasus Galaxy still needs to be explored. Zelenka can't do it on his own. I need you to keep an eye on him, Sheppard."
"Don't worry guys. I'm on it."
"I know you are," Ronon replied as he returned to the strange anomaly.
Rodney nodded and followed him.
He stood staring at the anomaly, waiting for it to disappear, but another figure walked out instead. It was a face he never expected to see again.
"Teyla." He whispered.
"Yes, John. It is me, and I am here to make sure you are alright."
Again, he wondered if he was dreaming. Or perhaps Teyla had ascended. He decided that he would tell her the truth about how he was feeling because they had always been truthful with each other before.
"I'm not sure I can go on without you, Teyla. I really miss you, as do the children."
"You must continue without me and remember I lived a full life. I got to be with the man I love, and we have four beautiful children who need their father. The Wraith are defeated, and the Galaxy is at peace. What better place to raise our children."
"I just wish you were here with me, Teyla."
"I know, John, but my journey has ended, and yours must continue. You must live life to the fullest and teach your children that life is wonderful and needs to be cherished. I only ask that you celebrate my life and tell the children about me and the fun times we had together."
She touched his face, and he could feel her soft touch. He breathed in her essence and prayed that this moment would never end.
"I love you, Teyla," John whispered.
"And I loved you too, John Sheppard, but you must not dwell on the past. You must look to the future and carry on without me. But remember one thing. I will always be with you.
She placed her hand over his heart, "I will always be right here."
Tears were brimming in his eyes when she finally returned to the anomaly. She was right. He needed to move on.
Carson returned to them as a clone, but he knew the likelihood of that happening again was practically impossible.
"Goodbye, my love," he whispered as the anomaly disappeared.
He sat and stared into the distance for a long time. The storm was finished and the night was dark and cold, but he didn't bother to move and it wasn't long before he fell asleep.
Someone or something tapping his cheek was the first thing he noticed the next time he became aware. The next thing he heard was a soft, lilting voice.
"Come on, lad, it's time to wake up."
He slowly opened his eyes, and the first thing he noticed was the sun was up. The next thing he noticed was Torren and Carson were staring down at him.
"What time is it?"
"It's time you went inside and got changed," Torren replied with a furrowed brow.
He realised he was soaking wet for the first time since, waking up.
"I guess I'd better go and get changed then."
"Aye lad, you should," Carson began, " before you end up in my infirmary with pneumonia."
He turned to Torren, "Are the twins up yet? What about Charin."
"Don't worry about them. Aunt Jenn has it all under control," Torren replied.
"What were you doing out here in last night's storm anyway?" Carson asked.
He thought about telling Carson what he'd seen but decided against it, "I was just thinking about things. But then I fell asleep."
Carson stared at him before nodding, "Alright, John. Remember, if you need to talk, I'm here for you."
"Thanks, Carson. Now, please take me inside and help me get changed?"
Ten minutes later, he was dry, alone in his room and had plenty to think about. Had Teyla, Rodney and Ronon really visited him last night? And if they had, were they ghosts or ascended beings? Or was it a Dream? Perhaps he'd never know.
The one thing he knew for sure was he loved Teyla and would miss her desperately. But Teyla was right. She had lived life to the full, and her journey was over. His wasn't, and he needed to learn to live life to the fullest again. By living his life fully, he would honour Rodney and Ronon's memory. He would honour the memory of every man and woman who had died in the war. But most of all he would celebtate his wife.
The future seemed much brighter than the night before because, at that moment, he realised how much he still had to live for.
Fin…
Please let me know what you think.