Quote Prompt #19: "Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about." — Author unknown

Restless Tonight

~oOo~

Everyone, including her therapist, had thoughts about Elliot Stabler's reappearance in her life. And almost to a one, they seemed to believe she should stay far away from him. Some had gone so far as to try to tell her to keep him out of her life.

For ten years, Olivia hadn't gotten him out of her mind. He was the one person she could never forget—no matter how hard she'd tried at times. For better or worse, Elliot Stabler had loomed large in her life even when he'd been nothing more than a ghost of a memory.

She'd seen through the letter he'd given her. Elliot Stabler? Write a long letter about their partnership? Not a chance. It had someone else's thoughts and feelings all over aside from the one late at the end.

In a parallel universe.

That had been Elliot's words. It had been the sign Olivia needed to know. She hadn't imagined their connection. If she had, he wouldn't have been dreaming about another world where they were together.

For ten years, Olivia hadn't been able to give up on Elliot. Every day, she'd thought about him. Sometimes randomly, when she passed their favorite hot dog vendor, or when she came across an old case file, or when Munch was particularly paranoid and she'd wanted to joke with Elliot about it.

The letter was crumpled in her coat pocket. She'd carried it around with her, waiting for a moment to confront him. Elliot might be grieving, but she'd wasted so much time when it came to him.

She refused to let more time slip away. She couldn't. Something had to change. "Fin?"

Fin stepped into her office. He'd been the one person who hadn't been opposed to Elliot's reappearance in her life. His eyes narrowed when he watched her packing up for the day despite having literally just arrived moments earlier. "Going somewhere?"

"I need…"

"I got you covered. Go have a talk with your man."

"He's not…" Olivia trailed off when Fin just smirked at her. She decided any explanation would only make things worse. "Call me if you need me."

"Want me to find out where he is?" Fin followed her to the elevator. She caught him subtle waving off the rest of the squad who'd been watching them. "Might keep your name outta things."

"I've got it." Olivia patted his arm in thanks. She waited until she was sitting in her Tahoe to call the burner phone number Jet had given her. He answered after what felt like an hour. "Can we meet?"

~oOo~

The call from Olivia had come at a bad time. There were no good times when one was undercover. Elliot had agreed to meet up with her. He'd disappointed himself and her so much since he'd come back into her life.

He wanted to do better—needed to do better. She had a son now. He wanted to be part of their lives.

It was something he'd occasionally thought about over the years. Olivia with a child. He'd always known she would be an extraordinary mother even when she didn't believe in herself. He'd taken great pleasure in saying 'I told you so' on that one.

She deserved so much more from life…from him. So when she'd called, he'd immediately given her a time and place. Somewhere far away from both his undercover work and his unit, he had no idea why she wanted to meet, but he wanted to give her his full attention. He didn't want to be so scattered.

Picking up coffee and donuts for them, Elliot had made his way to the secluded spot on the Hudson where they'd often gone as partners. It was quiet, particularly this early in the morning. It offered a great view of the city something he hadn't stopped to enjoy since returning.

Elliot found a bench to sit on and wait for her. He set the coffee and donuts down, taking a moment to just breathe and enjoy the calm. "Morning."

"How'd you know it was me?" Olivia rested her hand briefly on his shoulder before coming around to sit on the bench. She took the coffee that he handed over to her, sipping it with a grateful sigh. "You remembered."

"Everything." Elliot nudged the bag of donuts towards her. He'd gotten the ones that were her favorite. The ones she'd always eaten before anyone else got a chance at the precinct. "Some things that I wish I could forget, like that one boyfriend of yours."

Olivia swatted him on the chest. She laughed, though, shaking her head and chuckling at him. "You know people keep telling me to put some distance between us."

Elliot's heart froze in his chest. "Oh?"

"They've never understood us. Our connection. Not when we were first starting out or when we had eight years of partnership or when you were gone or now." Olivia inspected the donuts in the bag before selecting one. She hummed happily while taking a bite, a sound that he'd missed hearing. "No one ever really understood. And that's why I know you didn't write this letter."

"Liv."

She pulled a crumpled envelope out of her pocket and set it on the bench between them. "The men in my life always felt like they were competing with you. Somehow, this letter makes me think Kathy felt the same way."

Elliot had regretted giving Olivia the letter for months. He'd been so lost in his head with grief and guilt that he hadn't been thinking clearly. Time and therapy had done wonders to clear his mind. "Liv. I'm sorry."

"The only truth in this letter was the last line. It's also the only part I think came from you." Olivia took a bite of her donut. She chewed slowly, staring out at the river and the city. "I forgive you."

"I don't…"

"I forgive you for leaving. I forgive you for this disaster of a letter. I forgive you, Elliot." She had another bite of her donut, never once looking in his direction. "I've had years to come to terms with your absence, yet I never could."

"I thought about you every single day."

"Probably why your wife wrote what she did." Olivia had never pulled punches, so he didn't expect her to do so now. "I never did anything to deserve those words."

"No. You didn't." Elliot reached out to where her hand rested on the bench. He tentatively laid his hand over hers. "And I haven't done anything to deserve the part at the end."

"And yet I still forgive you." Olivia sipped her coffee while continuing to stare out at the river. She didn't try to move her hand out from under his, so he let himself enjoy the contact. "I'm so tired of everyone telling me how to think and feel."

"Okay." Elliot held his breath. He didn't want to screw up and ruin the moment.

"You were my best friend. My family." Olivia took a deep breath before continuing. "I was in love with you."

"Olivia."

"I was in love with my partner. And I never told you." She didn't pull her hand away when his hold tightened on her. "I've thought about that parallel universe a lot over the years."

Elliot had so many things he wanted to say, but he didn't know if now was the time. "There are a fucking thousand things I'd do differently if I could."

"But you can't."

"No, but I can do better." Elliot knew there were a lot of things that he could do better. "I've been in love with you for a long time."

"Elliot."

"I want you to know that you were the best partner a cop could ask for. An amazing friend and partner. And I loved you so fucking much that I thought I was saving you from my screws up when I left." Elliot shook his head. "I made a mistake, and it cost me ten years."

"I need to know if I should just move on or if there's a reason I haven't been able to get you out of my mind." Olivia shifted on the bench, finally looking away from the view to meet his gaze. "There's a lot of shit to work out. A lot of years. A lot of things you've missed. But is there something here?"

"There's always been something here. I'm sorry I ran away from it." Elliot brought his other hand up to her face. He stroked his thumb across her cheek. "It doesn't have to be a parallel universe. A dream that we can never have. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I'll do anything for a chance."

Olivia leaned into his touch. Her smile wasn't weighed down by anything. "They say you shouldn't give up on someone who you can't get out of your mind. And I've never been able to get you out of my head."

"I love you."

"Then I need you to be here. Show me."

"I will." Elliot knew it was too soon for a kiss. But he settled for leaning in to rest his forehead against hers. "I will."

The author of this SVU - Quills & Shutters story will be revealed in October