Full Summary:

Human interactions were not Orochimaru's strength. Fortunately, Tsunade was always willing to answer questions. The jōnin standby station probably wasn't the best place to ask, but options were limited. He'd just have to deal with the lack of privacy, and Jiraiya being a nuisance, and Tsunade mooning over Katō, and…

And the very distracting presence of the subject of his question – and object of his affections – Sakumo Hatake, just across the room.

Notes:

AO3 Tags: Orochimaru & Tsunade, Orochimaru/Sakumo, Dan/Tsunade, Friendship, Sibling Vibes, Humour, Mutual Pining, Good Orochimaru, Minor Jiraiya Bashing, Animalistic Traits, One Shot (originally)

This was supposed to be pure Orochimaru/Sakumo smut, but my muse laughs in the face of anything resembling a plan. I got super involved in the setup, and ended up writing a whole chapter that was as much, if not more, about the platonic Orochimaru & Tsunade vibes… and I never got to the sex.

Note that the Tsunade/Dan is even more background, and there's some unrequited Jiraiya/Tsunade (and Jiraiya/OFC of course, because it's Jiraiya) that I didn't bother tagging for.

WARNING: While this first chapter is T-rated, and can be read as a stand-alone, the next chapter will be decidedly smuttier.

Chapter 1: Orochimaru

The jōnin standby station wasn't the best place for the conversation Orochimaru wished to have, but options were limited.

It was hard to find a moment alone with Tsunade lately. She'd been incredibly busy revolutionising the hospital since her hostile takeover. Not that she admitted that's what it was. The previous hospital administrator had been criminally incompetent. Tsunade continued to insist that his retirement and naming of her as his successor – timed as it had been with the breaking of every single bone in one of his hands – was an utter coincidence, honest.

Orochimaru rolled his eyes just remembering it. Tsunade was a terrible liar.

Regardless, Tsunade was horrendously busy, and not just with the hospital – she also dedicated a lot of time to fussing and fretting over her little brother. Nawaki bore it with longsuffering annoyance. Orochimaru's former student was a chūnin now, and off running his own missions without what Tsunade considered adequate supervision.

What little free time Tsunade had left, after all of that, was spent either sleeping the well-earned sleep of the dead, lounging in the jōnin standby station to take the occasional mission – because hospital director or no, she refused to let her field skills grow rusty – or lingering in places that Dan Katō frequented so as to pine from not-quite-afar.

Or, as was the case this evening, all three at once.

As if on cue, Tsunade began to slide sideways on the lounge, startling awake with a snort as her head dropped onto Orochimaru's shoulder. Across from them, Jiraiya gave a jealous huff and stomped off towards the non-urgent mission scrolls. Tsunade abruptly straightened, blinking rapidly and glaring, silently daring anyone to comment.

As her sharp gaze flickered over the room, it caught on Dan Katō chatting with his friend, Sakumo Hatake. Tsunade sighed, settling back more comfortably and staring at Katō with the sort of sleepy infatuation that induced cavities. The only thing more sickeningly sweet were the looks Katō threw her way in return. They hadn't even abated when she was snoring earlier – a horrific sound fit to wake the dead – but had instead gone indulgently adoring.

Proof positive that the man was just as gone on her.

Not that Orochimaru needed his eyes to know that, he reflected, nose wrinkling at the pheromones wafting between the pair. Like the serpents his clan had spent generations summoning – and over time been biologically influenced by – Orochimaru's sense of smell was much keener with his tongue than his nose. It was problematic, because the conversation he sought would require opening his mouth. While Orochimaru had, by necessity, become used to such things due to the misfortune of being teammates with the ultimate letch that was Jiraiya, Tsunade was a different matter. The woman may as well be his sister – or so she had bossily informed him when they were ten years old, all but threatening him to dare deny it – and scenting her sex pheromones was a rarer and vaguely traumatising experience.

It was one thing to know Tsunade was hopeless over Katō, and another to taste it.

He shuddered.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jiraiya said loudly, rushing back with a scroll in hand.

The giant lug stood blocking Tsunade's line of sight to Katō and vice versa. It was not, Orochimaru knew, a coincidence. While Orochimaru's reaction to her pining was to try not to smell it, Jiraiya either got pouty or obnoxious. Or both. Tsunade glared, but Orochimaru felt a rare moment of gratitude – not that he would ever admit it – because Jiraiya's rushing and arm flapping to draw Tsunade's attention had caused enough of a breeze to clear the air.

"Lookie what I found," Jiraiya said, plopping down into the non-existent space between them. He unwisely ignored Orochimaru's hiss as he jerked away, wedging himself into the corner of the lounge where he would no longer be sat upon. He even more unwisely ignored Tsunade's glare as he pressed up against her side, throwing an arm over her shoulder, hand dangling precariously over her chest.

"Jiraiya," Tsunade warned, eyeing the hand.

"Come on, it'll be great. Mission for two to Tanzaku town. You know you love to gamble. I'll even cover your bar tab. It'll be like a vacation! Even better, we'd have to go undercover as a couple. I'm thinking honeymooners." He leered, eyebrows actually waggling. And then, wilfully blind to Tsunade's increasingly dark glare, his fingers began to trace down her collarbone towards…

Orochimaru sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't surprised by the sudden crunching of bone and yelp of pain – Tsunade repeating her 'alleged' injury of the former hospital director, this time on their lecherous teammate's wayward hand. The injury was followed by a loud, shattering crash, and Orochimaru looked up to see Jiraiya had been launched through the nearest window. And part of the wall around it. Again.

Tsunade scowled, straightening her top. "That's coming out of his paycheck."

"Naturally," Orochimaru drawled.

Jiraiya jumped back through the gaping hole in the wall, cradling his crushed, fast-swelling, purpling hand. And then, because he was an idiot who never learned – and possibly, more nauseatingly, was a secret masochist who got off on igniting Tsunade's violent temper – he knelt at Tsunade's feet and pawed at her knee, requesting her "tender loving care" to mend his "aching boner – wait, bones, I meant bones!", all the while ignoring Tsunade's increasingly furious expression as his pawing hand wandered higher.

Orochimaru cleared his throat. "Junko Amakuni will be starting a standby shift in half an hour, I believe. Time enough for you to go to the hospital, get your hand treated, then request her assistance with that mission."

Jiraiya perked up. "Junko? Green hair, legs for days, huge…" His eyes darted towards Tsunade and, in a rarely seen display of tact – well, tactful by Jiraiya's standards, which wasn't very – he merely made a vague squeezing gesture with his one good hand. "Melons?"

Tsunade sighed, rubbing her face, but let it go. Orochimaru just nodded. And then Jiraiya was gone in a completely unnecessary poof of smoke and excessive leaf litter. Orochimaru sneered as he brushed leaves from his uniform and plucked a twig from his hair.

"So," Tsunade drawled.

Orochimaru stiffened at the tone. Looking over, he saw her casually running fingers through her loosened hair, sifting out stray leaves. She darted the occasional glance towards Katō, who yes, was paying attention – had, in fact, stumbled mid-conversation, if his friend's amused reaction was anything to go by. Orochimaru was briefly distracted by Sakumo's smile, but thankfully for his dignity, managed to look away before Tsunade noticed.

Tsunade's gaze, when it returned to Orochimaru, was speculative and heavy with an unspoken demand to spill all, or she'd drag it out of him the hard way. "Now that you've so neatly gotten Jiraiya out of earshot—"

Orochimaru sniffed, glancing away. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"Riiiight," Tsunade said, drawing the word out in that obnoxious way she knew he hated. "Because you're always up for providing Jiraiya an opportunity to make a pass at the latest target of his lust. Regular wingman and all." She snorted as she tied her hair back up. "Cut the shit, Orochimaru, and tell me what was worth getting a kunoichi pissed at you. 'Cause I know, unlike Jiraiya, you aren't stupid enough to ever think that's a good move."

"Amakuni won't mind." He waved a dismissive hand. "If anything, she'll owe me a favour."

"Really?" Tsunade looked perplexed.

"There's no accounting for taste."

"Huh."

There was a moment of companionable silence as they both pondered the complexities of human behaviour and the foibles of attraction… and wondered if Amakuni had been dropped on her head as a baby.

Then Tsunade grabbed his arm and dragged him back across the lounge, yanking him close. "Maybe I'll book Amakuni for a psych eval. But don't think you've distracted me from the point. What did you want to talk about without the pervert present?"

Orochimaru tried and failed to wrench free of her grip. Tsunade only clutched him tighter, inadvertently wedging his arm between her breasts – Jiraiya would be wildly, vociferously jealous if he were around to see it – and dug her pointy chin into his shoulder as she batted her lashes at him in a deeply unconvincing display of innocence.

Knowing he was trapped by her monstrous strength, Orochimaru sighed and slumped – but elegantly, because he had his dignity to consider… and possibly a certain audience, but he wasn't going to check, not while Tsunade had him under the microscope. "This," he said instead, waving a hand between them, "is why people keep thinking we're sleeping together."

"Actually," Tsunade said with cheerful malice, "most people think our team is in a ménage à trois. Or a tragic love triangle—"

Orochimaru jerked straight, dread pooling in his gut. "Don't you dare," he snapped, eyes darting around the room. There was no one obviously in earshot, nor any Inuzuka with enhanced hearing present, but with ninja, you could never be too careful.

"—on account of this, yeah." She snuggled deliberately closer. "And also Jiraiya's general lechery towards anyone female—"

"You mean you in particular," he pointed out, hoping to distract her. He failed.

"—and that adorable crush of yours," she finished spitefully.

He hissed at her.

She grinned wider, with far too many teeth to be entirely friendly.

"I," Orochimaru seethed "was compromised by volatile hormonal fluctuations."

"Puberty, Oro." She patted his chest condescendingly. "We call it puberty."

"I was thirteen, and stupid, and it lasted all of a week before I came to my senses – and you promised not to mention it again. We made a bet. You lost!"

"To Jiraiya. We wagered that I'd not mention it to Jiraiya. And I haven't."

Orochimaru pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm beginning to rethink the wisdom of talking to you about my issue."

"So there is something!" Tsunade brightened. Seeing the conflicted look that he couldn't quite hide, not from her, Tsunade's expression softened. For all that she was a terrible, horrible, no-good menace, she was also intrinsically kind. "But seriously, Orochimaru, you know you can tell me anything. Come on, let me help."

He frowned. And then he adjusted his sleeves. And crossed his legs. And smoothed out the fabric before folding his hands over his knee. Fidgeting, Tsunade would no doubt call it. She might be right.

He sighed. "You know I've been doing some… specialised missions lately."

Tsunade just hummed and nodded, equally as vague, because even though it wasn't really a secret, Anbu wasn't something spoken about openly.

"We had a mission recently that I might, possibly, perhaps have nearly ruined."

"You?" Tsunade said, surprised.

Orochimaru let himself preen a little at the implied faith in his abilities. "Yes, well, I wasn't expecting a certain target to be quite so…" He wrinkled his nose. "Handsy."

"Ah."

He repaid her amused tone with a suspicious look. "Ah?"

Tsunade snickered. "Well hell, Orochimaru, I remember that mission to Tea Country a few years back. You slapped that noble right across the face."

Orochimaru stiffened. "She was inappropriate."

"You nearly caused a diplomatic incident."

"But I did not," Orochimaru pointed out with all the dignity he could muster.

"Yeah, because she was charmed by your innocence," Tsunade taunted gleefully.

"Oh, fuck you," he snapped in a rare lapse into vulgarity.

Tsunade threw her head back and laughed and laughed. There was a clatter across the room as Katō, Orochimaru saw, dropped something and stared at her wide-eyed and entranced. Orochimaru rolled his eyes and, just by chance, happened to catch Sakumo's gaze as he did the same. Sakumo gave him a commiserating grin, and Orochimaru's lips twitched before he tore his gaze away.

"If you're quite done?" he asked Tsunade.

"Sorry," she snickered, and finally let go of his arm to flap a hand at him. She sprawled out more comfortably on the lounge. "Okay, I'm done."

He glared.

"Aw, come on Oro. Don't get all prickly on me now."

He tried to hold onto his ire, but the shared moment of amusement with Sakumo might have softened his mood more than he would admit. Instead, he just huffed and continued. "Well, as it happens, what's charming at nineteen is suspicious at twenty-five. Which is highly inconvenient on certain missions."

Tsunade suddenly straightened up again, frowning. "Wait, are you—Orochimaru, tell me you're not being trained for seduction. That would be a disaster."

"Excuse you."

She rolled her eyes. "I mean, obviously you've got the looks." She snorted. "As certain nobles and targets will attest."

"The target's dead," he said in a satisfied tone. "He'll attest nothing."

"Not the point. You've got the looks, and the grace, and you like dressing up pretty, and you're skilled at everything you put your mind to – I doubt seduction would be any different – but Orochimaru, you hate strangers in your personal space at the best of times. It took you three years not to go for a kunai anytime I tried to hug you when we were kids. You still do sometimes with Jiraiya."

"It's Jiraiya."

"Fair. But don't tell me you're not repulsed by the mere thought of getting naked and fucking random strangers. Hah!" She pointed, victorious, at the instinctual grimace on his face. "That there. Repulsed." She huffed and gave him a friendly punch to the shoulder – friendly because she healed the bruise immediately after. "I'm just saying, you could do seduction, and well, but it would mess you up. And I care about you, so don't do it."

Orochimaru rolled his eyes. That was a typical Tsunade declaration of affection – soft words of care sandwiched between physical violence and bossy demands. He told himself he wasn't touched by it at all.

"Well?" Tsunade demanded.

"I'm not going to be fucking strangers."

Her eyes narrowed. "That's very specific."

"My trainer wants me to learn some light tactics," he admitted. "Presentation, flirtation, gestures, implication. Both to charm and to unnerve. Minimal to no actual contact. No sex required."

Tsunade nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay, I could see that. You do like messing with your enemies' heads." She relaxed. "So what's the problem?"

"The problem," he said grumpily, "is that I apparently need to be 'more comfortable in my skin'." He threw her a smirk. "I offered to shed into a new one, see if it was a better fit."

"Brat."

"Well." He shrugged, utterly unapologetic. "Nonetheless, I need to be able to not reflexively slap a noblewoman across the face if she decides to kiss my hand – or knee a man so hard in the balls, for grabbing my arse, that his testicles rupture."

"You didn't," Tsunade said, voice hushed and delighted.

He grinned back, sharp and dangerous, because he'd known she'd appreciate that. "I absolutely did."

"Nice."

"Thank you. But we digress." He cleared his throat. And uncrossed his legs, crossing them the other way. Smoothed the fabric again. Avoiding her gaze, he asked, "How, precisely, does one go about seducing an acquaintance?"

There was silence. A long, painful, drawn-out silence. But Orochimaru could feel Tsunade all but vibrating in place and just knew if he looked over…

Fuck, as suspected, her face was alight with shocked glee.

"Orochimaru," she said, trying to get him to look at her for more than a second. He avoided her gaze. She tugged at his flak jacket. He batted at her hands. The next thing he knew, they were tussling like genin, him hissing and Tsunade cursing, until Tsunade all but clambered into his lap and pinned him down on the lounge. "Orochimaru, you finally wanna get laid!"

There was a shocked, horrified, squawking gasp, like a small animal being trampled to death.

They both looked over, finding most of the room staring at them – Tsunade's declaration, to Orochimaru's displeasure, had been anything but quiet. Katō, in particular, stared with a look of kicked-puppy despondence, while Sakumo had a speculative glint Orochimaru wasn't sure how to interpret. By the door was the source of the sound – Jiraiya, who had apparently returned at just the right time to witness Tsunade delightedly crowing about Orochimaru's desire to 'get laid', whilst pinning Orochimaru down and sat astride him, both panting and with clothes askew.

It was, Orochimaru would admit, a very suggestive scene.

Jiraiya certainly thought so, if the way his skin had paled to the shade of curdled milk was anything to go by. And the further sounds of a small animal in distress. And the way his eyes rolled up before he fainted dead away.

"Oh my," Orochimaru said into the silence, voice all velvet and delight.

Across the room, Sakumo made a choked sound.

Tsunade gave a shocked laugh. "He fainted."

"Like a civilian."

"Like a flaky civilian princess."

"Like a flaky civilian princess in one of those trashy books he pretends he doesn't read," Orochimaru said.

They shared a look of delight.

"We're never letting him live this down," Tsunade swore.

"Naturally."

She finally got off of him, yanking him roughly upright and absently healing bruises. Jiraiya took that moment to rouse, at which point they both stared at him and grinned unholy grins.

Jiraiya took one look at them, earlier horror fading away to confusion, realisation, then horror of a different sort. "This was all a bad dream," he said faintly.

"But of course, princess," Orochimaru said sweetly.

"Orochimaru, don't be mean," Tsunade cooed. "You know Jiraiya's delicate."

"Like a fair maiden."

"Hey!" Jiraiya said, puffing up. "If anyone's a pathetic, untouched maiden here, Oro—"

With perfect timing – before a tense, quietly mortified Orochimaru decided to take a page from Tsunade's book and beat Jiraiya to a pulp for outing his inexperience to every jōnin in the room, and one in particular – the door behind Jiraiya opened, and a kunoichi with long green hair entered.

Orochimaru paused. And then he turned to face her, body going languidly relaxed, lips curling into a falsely sweet smile that hid poison. "Ah, Junko Amakuni! You just missed seeing Jiraiya do the most fascinating—"

"NOTHING!" Jiraiya screeched, earlier horror returning, this time at the thought of Orochimaru revealing his fainting princess moment – and, as a result, maybe being denied his chance to get into a woman's pants. "Nothing happened!"

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed, weighing the value of getting even against the relief of getting Jiraiya out of his sight more quickly. He ultimately decided on the latter… for now. Revenge was a dish best served cold, when the victim least expected it.

"O…kay?" Amakuni said, staring between them perplexed.

"Ahem." With a cheesy theatrical flourish, Jiraiya pulled out the scroll he'd picked up and moved into her personal space. He smiled at her charmingly – or what he thought was charming. Amakuni, the poor misguided thing, actually seemed to agree, if the light blush was anything to go by. "So, my lovely Junko, there's this cozy little mission for two to Tanzaku. Whaddaya say, wanna play newlywed with me? I promise not to be a gentleman at all."

Amakuni actually giggled and nodded. Jiraiya was quick to whisk her away, sending a quelling look over his shoulder, lest anyone think to clue her in to his 'unmanly' moment. The other jōnin in the standby station slowly lost interest now that the drama was over and returned to their own business. Well, aside from a confused, still slightly disheartened Katō, and Sakumo, who was patting him consolingly on the back.

"Hmm," Tsunade said, staring at the door. "Yeah, definitely getting her a psych eval."

Orochimaru snorted, which was a mistake. Tsunade's gaze snapped to him like a laser.

"So, who exactly are you hoping to hop into bed with?"

And Orochimaru, in a lapse of control that he would regret forever, involuntarily glanced over towards Sakumo. He tore his gaze away at once, but it was too late, because Tsunade had seen and—

Wait, why was she looking torn between murder and shock and quiet devastation?

"Oh, you…" She cleared her throat, looking away. "Well, I mean, Dan Katō is a good man, so…"

Oh for fuck's sake, Orochimaru thought, as he realised he couldn't just brush it off. He wouldn't, as he'd originally hoped, be able to keep this discreet, keep her in the dark about the particulars of his interest. Not with that sort of misunderstanding. Her pining was bad enough as it was – adding a tragic comedy of errors to it would just be…

Urgh, no.

"It's Sakumo," he hissed

Tsunade's gaze snapped towards him, relief and realisation breaking over her features. And then, of course – as payment for his sins, because no good deed could go unpunished – there was rising, terrible, sisterly glee. "Oro!"

Orochimaru threw aside all dignity, because clearly it was already lost. "Shut up, shut up, fuck you, no, shut up!"

Tsunade clasped both hands over her mouth, failing to stifle her delighted giggles. Cheeks flushed, she bounced in place, kicking her feet like she was six years old, not twenty-six – except even as a six-year-old new genin she'd never acted so girlishly delighted.

Orochimaru despaired.

He would never live this down.

In a futile effort to ignore her, he looked around, seeking something else – anything else – to hold his attention. His gaze swept over Katō and Sakumo, then snapped back. He frowned, confused by Sakumo's slightly shocked expression and slow-growing grin. Well, confused and sort of warm, but he'd sooner die than admit that. That grin though, there was something about it… wide and pleased, baring unusually sharp canines, an almost wolfish look to it.

Wait.

Oh no.

"Oh no," he said faintly, not looking away.

"Orochimaru?"

He felt his cheeks grow hot, and viciously tugged at his chakra, sending it to his face to suppress the reaction.

Beside him, Tsunade made a curious sound. She wasn't half the chakra sensor her legendary granduncle had been, but she was good by normal standards and especially attuned to the chakra of people she knew well. Unfortunately for Orochimaru, he was one of those people. Even more unfortunately, Tsunade, with her medical knowledge, had collaborated in the development of the technique he'd just used – one invented when they were younger, after he'd grown frustrated with his paper-pale skin's inability to hide even the slightest blush.

So Tsunade knew exactly what he'd just done and why. She made an amused sound and poked his cheek.

"Orochimaru?" Tsunade said again. "'Oh no' what?"

"The Hatake have canine summons." Canines, which had enhanced hearing. Sakumo Hatake, Orochimaru recalled, had wolves. And yes, that was an increasingly wolfish smile the man was giving him, their gazes still locked.

Tsunade took a fraction of a second to parse that – she was an extraordinary medic-nin, and well educated in matters affecting those she cared about, which included the peculiar side-effects of summon-human chakra interactions over generations – and then she laughed and bounced to her feet.

"Tsunade," he hissed, hand darting forwards snake-quick to snatch at her wrist, but her strength broke his grip easily and reversed it, dragging him forward. "Tsunade, don't you dare!"

"Sakumo!" she greeted cheerfully. And then, showing the tiniest ounce of mercy, she lowered her voice so only the four of them could hear. "You got all that?"

"I did, yes," Sakumo said, still staring at Orochimaru, who made a stifled sound of despair. Which Sakumo no doubt heard – with his enhanced hearing – because his expression softened.

"Well?" Tsunade demanded. "You up for popping my friend's cherry?"

Katō made a startled, relieved sort of sound at the clarification.

Orochimaru, meanwhile, took a sharp breath. He jerked his hand free, straightened his cuffs, then turned to her with an eerie calm. "Tsunade, dear?"

She had the good sense to look wary. "Yes?"

He smiled, all teeth and venomous fangs. "I. Am going. To kill you."

"Ah…"

Tsunade stared.

And then she bolted.

If not for the way he was avoiding anyone's gaze, there would be nothing to fault in the graceful bow Orochimaru offered, nor the effortlessly polite "please excuse me" he murmured to Sakumo and Katō before taking his leave.

Two steps outside the door – before he could start hunting down his traitorous teammate in order to kill her very, very thoroughly, and then possibly desecrate her corpse – Sakumo Hatake suddenly appeared beside him. Orochimaru faltered for half a step, once more yanking chakra to his face to suppress a vivid blush.

"So," Sakumo said thoughtfully, "you could go looking for Tsunade."

"And kill her."

"And kill her," Sakumo agreed, tone amused, which was unfairly attractive. "Or…" A hand reached for Orochimaru's elbow, not grabbing, just touching carefully.

Orochimaru paused. He took a deep breath and turned to Sakumo. "Or?" he asked, wanting to cross his arms. But that would look obviously defensive, and he was already off-balance enough as it was without showing it.

He braced himself for a gentle rejection. He'd shared enough missions with Sakumo over the last couple of years, and been dragged to enough after-mission dinners, to know that he would be kind about it… which might actually make it worse.

He also tried not to hope too obviously for the opposite.

"Or," Sakumo said, stepping a little closer, making Orochimaru swallow. Sakumo's eyes flickered briefly to his throat, then back to catch his gaze. "Or – Tsunade's less than tactful delivery aside – if you are actually interested, I would love to take you to bed, Orochimaru."

Somehow, despite everything…

Despite months of pining – much more subtly than Tsunade and Katō, because Orochimaru was better than that. Despite the extensive research he'd done into Hatake culture, mannerisms and traditions – what little was publicly available, Hatake being a ninja clan, and thus secretive by nature. And despite having gathered the courage to ask – or having intended to, before Tsunade barged forward like a bull in a china shop on his behalf…

Despite all of that, Orochimaru hadn't actually expected to get a yes.

He knew what he was. He was beautiful, but in the way of eerie, unnatural things – more unnerving than attractive. He was strong but, without Tsunade's kindness or Jiraiya's goofiness to soften the edges, it brought him more fear than admiration. He loved fiercely but few, caring little for others – aside from a soft spot for broken things – had more flexible morals than most preferred, and he was vicious when crossed.

People didn't want Orochimaru. Not after they got to know him

But apparently, somehow, Sakumo did.

"Oh," he said on a breath. Then, meeting that dark gaze squarely, he said, "Yes."

Sakumo smiled again, that same smile from earlier – slow forming, but growing wide and a little wild, a little wolfish.

Orochimaru was going to enjoy this.

TBC…

Notes:

Again, this I think it reads well alone. Stop here if you like. That said, if you do want some lovely Orochimaru/Sakumo smut, the next chapter will have you covered!

The original summary for this, carrying on from the title, was gonna be "Getting Laid: A How-To Guide. Step 1: Tell Tsunade. Step 2: Profit?"

I wonder if anyone recognises Junko Amakuni. I'll be even more impressed if you figure out my three amusing reasons for naming her that.