Camp Wawanakwa looks as good as new, but instead of the notorious Chris McLean, there's a gray robot standing on the dock.
"What's up, suckers?", the robot exclaimed before laughing, "I'm just playing with you meatbags. Name's Bender Rodriguez, but you can call me the new big kahuna of this renovated island and of this money-making program!"
The camera revealed that the whole island was repaired to resemble how it used to look before the original show even happened.
"Now, I know what you're asking: where is that lovable jerk known as Chris and that muscle-head who calls himself a chef? Well, funny story, the Canadian government had enough of his dangerous and formulaic stunts against some whiny teenagers, so they sent his ass to the slammer! And I think that was for the best, cause his shtick fell off after that big, global tour. As for the chef, he just decided to move on to another job. Where is he now? I don't know and I don't care!"
Chris is shown in an orange jumpsuit in a Canadian prison, while Chef Hatchet is seen with a massive bindle as he boarded a ferry leaving the island for good.
"But enough about them though! This is my show now! All thanks to our wonderful sponsor and producer: Mr. Boss!"
The camera cut to a big, balding mustached man with a massive hunchback in his hot tub inside his office. He gave a sinister smile as he waved at the camera with a cigar in his mouth.
"Who is very much appreciated for providing these lowly interns to be our camera-folk." Bender pointed at the numerous and feeble interns all over the island with cameras ready. They nervously smiled at the big camera.
"And let's not forget about MY quirky crew that will aid me in running this program. Say hello to Eustace and Muriel Bagge! And their entertaining pets: Ren, Courage and Stimpy!"
The camera panned to the elderly couple and the trio of pets. Courage anxiously shook in the presence of the camera, much to everyone else's obliviousness.
"Oh, joy!", Stimpy grinned, "We're gonna have so much fun, Ren!"
"Yes, it will be fun", Ren retorted before snickering, "But not for them!" Courage glared at him disapprovingly, but Ren took no notice.
"I feel so glad that we're being featured on such a famous telly program", Muriel smiled.
"Yeah, yeah", Eustace snarled, "Let's wait for the brats to show up so we can get to the challenges!"
"Glad you brought that up, old timer!", Bender exclaimed, "Because, my dear meatbags, there's gonna be a big change to this show's formula. Instead of a bunch of whiny teenagers as the contestants, we got 24 precious kiddies will be partaking in this competition. Oh, and this show will broadcast live! Completely unedited! Other than that, the rules are the same. Alright, I think I've said enough about the logistics. Let's get this thing started. This is Total! DRAMA! ISLAND! CAMP!"
As the theme song commenced, the various cameras are shown and Bender is seen reclining on a beach chair. The chair then cuts to the big cliff.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
The camera then took a plunge towards the sea.
You guys are on my mind
It's revealed to be Bart, who emerges from the water laughing. Trixie and Pacifica, who were reclining on portable floaties nearby, who soaked wet by the big splash.
You ask me what I wanted to be and I think the answer is plain to see
Trixie and Pacifica glared at Bart, but they quickly became mortified when they saw a pair of blue swim trunks land in front of their floaties.
They scream in horror as they attempted to back away, which resulted in them colliding into each other and making both of them fall off their floaties and into the water.
The whole ordeal made Bart laugh even harder.
I wanna be famous!
Lisa shook her head disapprovingly at her brother's actions before going back to collecting seashells. But then a bunch of sand got thrown at her face, and it's revealed to be Helga smirking while holding another ball of sand in her hand.
Before Helga could launch it, she and Lisa get bombarbed with a ton of sand and ended up being buried in it. They both popped their heads and it's revealed to be Mabel laughing at them before running to jump onto the sand pile.
I wanna live close to the sun
Ed, Double D and Eddy presented a pretty decent makeshift tent. But Jimmy, Carl and Sheen upstage them with a considerably better tent.
Well pack your bags, cause I've already won
All six boys are shocked to see that Phineas and Ferb upstaged all of them with an ultra-advanced tent.
Molly, Andrea and especially Isabella hold up scoreboards with 10 for the duo.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way
Eddy and Sheen get frustrated and they both chase the two geniuses, before Isabella tackle them from behind.
I'll get there one day
Timmy chats with Libby, who is seen affectionately rubbing Courage's back. Muriel warmly serves them all lunch.
Cause I wanna be famous!
As soon as they are about eat, Eustace emerged from behind them with his signature green mask. Timmy, Libby and Courage screamed in utter fright. Eustace took off the mask and began to laugh before being hit with a rolling pin by an angry Muriel.
Dipper and Cindy are performing archery, while Stimpy holds the target and Ren merely spectates from a beach chair.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
Cindy hit the target at dead-center, while Dipper stumbled and accidentally struck Stimpy's foot with the arrow. Stimpy howled in pain while Ren laughed at him. Dipper blushed sheepishly while Cindy smirked at him.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
Connie and Huey sparred intensely near a campfire. Huey got knocked to the ground and Connie stood over him triumphantly.
Jazmine then warmly greeted both of them with s'mores. Connie smiled at this and happily helped an embarrassed Huey get back on his feet. The rest of the campers are seen by the campfire.
"Now, let's meet our precious little participants", Bender said before hearing a boat honk, "Oh, I hear a boat coming now!"
On the first boat were 4 kids, each with a backpack, and a robotic dog from Retroville: Jimmy Neutron, Cindy Vortex, Carl Wheezer, Sheen Estevez and Goddard. The boat reached the dock, and they stepped off.
"You 4 must be the kids from Retroville!", Bender exclaimed, "Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!"
"A camp, Nerdtron?!", Cindy shouted, "You brought us all out here in the Canadian wilderness for a camp?!"
"I don't understand", Jimmy pondered, "The advertisement said that we'd arrive at an undiscovered island with resources that could potentially modernize humanity as we know it."
"Hey, we weren't exactly truthful", Bender shrugged, "That's advertising for ya. Anyways, you 4 four just step over here so the others can step off".
"Others?", Cindy asked.
"Yeah, others?", Bender retorted, "Did you kids really think we'd go to all this trouble just for you 4? 20 other kids will be arriving, so you gotta make room".
"We'll be camping with other kids?!", Sheen smiled, "It'll be just like that Ultra Lord special, where he has to team up with other heroes that he's never even met before so they can survive on the jungle planet. Or something like that, it was quite a rare special".
"You are one energetic kid", Bender smiled, "I like your spirit!"
"Excuse me, Mr. Robot", Carl asked.
"Name's Bender, kid", Bender corrected.
"Does this island have a medical staff that can look after us if and when we get hurt?"
"Sure we do", Bender proclaimed, "Well, not exactly a real medical staff. But they'll look after you and heal you to the best of their ability. Ain't that right, Muriel?"
"I'll make sure you are all taken care of", Muriel smiled, "I can promise you that".
Carl looked at Muriel and he gave the most romantic smile while having hearts in his eyes. He likely had a thing for kind, older women.
"Yeah, I think we'll be good, guys", Carl smiled, much to the concern to Jimmy, Cindy and Sheen.
"Oh, almost forgot!", Bender said while holding a big blue bag, "I'm gonna need you to place all your technology inside this bag. It's mandatory".
Cindy, Sheen and Carl placed their phones inside the bag. Bender turned towards Jimmy.
"That means you, Neutron!", Bender growled.
"I must object to this whole procedure", Jimmy frowned, "None of us consented to have our belongings confiscated".
"Don't argue with him, Neutron!", Cindy snapped, "Whatever is on this island, we gotta play by the rules!"
"Yeah, Jimmy", Sheen added, "The experience's gotta be authentic!"
"Fine!", Jimmy relented as he put his phone in the bag.
"You know that's not all of it!", Cindy growled.
"Cindy!", Jimmy whined.
"Don't worry", Bender said, "I got it covered". He snapped his blocky fingers and Ren ran over to tackle Jimmy onto the dock ground. The little dog removed the technology from Jimmy's arm and then opened the backpack.
"Hey!" Jimmy shouted, "You can't go in there!"
Ren maniacally began to throw all of Jimmy's technology into the bag. Goddard became agitated and barked as he ran towards Ren, but he was picked up by Bender.
"Whoa, whoa boy", Bender growled as he tied Goddard to a dock pole, "Play nice!".
Ren triumphantly held up the bag and tossed it over Bender.
"Great job, Ren!", Bender smiled before placing the bag next to Goddard, "This bag will remain here for the time being".
"And just when will we be getting that stuff back?", Jimmy scowled.
"You'll find out when everyone else gets here", Bender retorted before hearing another horn, "Speaking of which..."
On the second boat were 3 kids, also with backpacks, from Danville: Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher and Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. They stepped off when the boat reached the dock.
"And you kids must be from Danville", Bender smiled, "Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!"
"Hey, there!", Phineas greeted, "Come on, guys. This looks like the right island!"
"Oh, I'm so excited that we'll be having this whole island to ourselves!", Isabella grinned before turning to see the other kids, "Wait, who are they?"
"They'll be partaking in this program as well!", Bender explained.
"Sounds good to me", Phineas smiled, "The more, the merrier! Let's go meet them!"
"Right", Isabella said dejectedly, clearly being bummed out that it wouldn't be just her and Phineas (and Ferb too).
"Before you do that, please place all of your technology in this bag", Bender said. The three complied without a fuss.
"Hello, my name is Phineas!", Phineas greeted, "This is my brother Ferb, and this is my friend Isabella".
"Nice to meet you", Jimmy greeted, "I am-"
"His name is Jimmy!", Sheen interrupted, "Boy genius with a big head and a big brain!"
"Sheen!", Jimmy sighed.
"I'm trying to help you with these cool kids, Jimmy", Sheen whispered before turning back to the brothers, "My name is Sheen: Ultra Lord expert and superfan! And this is Carl. He loves llamas".
"Ahem", Cindy huffed.
"Oh, and she's Cindy", Sheen relented before whispering, "But she's not really one of us". Cindy overheard him and sharply elbowed him in the ribs.
"I knew I should taken Libby's offer on that vacation to Paris", Cindy frowned.
"Hey, now", Phineas soothed, "We're all in this together. We're on a cool island and we're gonna have fun! Isn't that the point of having summer vacation? To have fun?"
"Keep that spirit, kid!", Bender smiled, "You're gonna need it".
"Hey, what's that tied to the pole?", Isabella asked while pointing at Goddard.
"Aw, is that your robot dog?", Phineas asked.
"Actually, he's my dog", Jimmy huffed, "His name is Goddard".
"You built him yourself?", Phineas smiled, "Aw, you're so lucky. Mom said we couldn't bring Perry with us".
"Honestly, it was for the best", Ferb said.
Another boat honk was heard, and the third boat appeared nearby. There were 3 kids with big backpacks from the Cul-de-sac: Ed, Edd (Double D) and Eddy. They stepped out of the boat in style.
"Here we are, Sockhead and Lumpy!", Eddy proclaimed, "This is where we will truly make our mark!"
"I wouldn't be so cocky, Eddy", Double D warned, "Our success is not guaranteed, especially since we don't know we'll be facing yet!"
"I like this big jungle, guys!", Ed smiled.
"Greetings, kids from the Cul-de-sac", Bender exclaimed, "Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!"
"It's a real robot!", Ed grinned before hugging Bender, "Just like I always wanted!"
"Alright, get your stinking paws off me, you filthy meatbag!", Bender growled as he pushed Ed off him, "Jeez, I just got myself polished too!"
"Calm down, Ed", Eddy added, "Save that energy for when we do the challenges".
"Before you guys go any further", Bender explained, "You gotta put your technology in this bag".
"Oh, that won't be a problem, sir", Double D smiled, "We didn't bring any technology with us".
"WHAT?!", Bender exclaimed, "Not even phones?"
"Our parents never gave us phones", Double D explained. Bender wasn't convinced.
"Stimpy!", Bender ordered, "Metal detector!" Stimpy reached his hand down his throat and pulled out a big metal detector, much to the disgust of the kids, except Ed.
"How unsanitary!", Double D decried. Stimpy hopped over the three Eds and scanned them and their backpacks with the detector. But nothing came up.
"All clear, Mr. Bender!", Stimpy smiled. Bender narrowed his eyes, before laughing.
"Alright, you kids got me", Bender chuckled, "Please, right this way!"
"Uh, what did he mean by challenges?", Isabella asked, "This is a competition?"
"I didn't know we were competing", Phineas said.
"Well, you do now", Bender explained, "Those cameras are filming us right now!"
The 11 kids turn and see the cameras by both the interns and the stationary places on the dock.
"Wait, we're gonna be on TV?!", Cindy shouted.
"Yep, and the show is being broadcast live!", Bender smiled, "Everything we're doing now is on television!"
"I can't believe this is happening!", Carl despaired.
"Me, too!", Sheen grinned, "We're gonna be TV stars!"
"Count us out, Bender", Jimmy frowned, "We refuse to partake in this corporate spectacle!"
"But Jimmy, we're gonna be stars!", Sheen whined.
"Oh, lighten up!", Bender reassured, "I didn't even tell you about the cash prize yet!" This immediately caught the interest of Jimmy and Cindy.
"Like real cash?", Cindy asked.
"Yup, and I'll tell ya how much when the other kids get here", Bender said.
"I guess we can give this show a try", Jimmy relented.
"Well, we're not really here for the prize money", Phineas explained, "Will this competition still be fun?"
"It's as fun as you want it to be", Bender said.
"Then I'll accept!", Phineas smiled, "What do you say, Ferb and Isabella?"
"Eh, it might be worth a shot", Ferb said.
"Well, if Phineas is good with this, then so am I!", Isabella proclaimed.
"Tremendous!", Bender exclaimed, "Now get yourselves situated until the next boat arrives".
"I must say", Double D smiled, "You gentlemen really must be talented intellectuals".
"Oh no, it's just the glasses", Carl corrected him.
"Well, welcome aboard you three!", Phineas greeted, "And may the best kid win".
"Oh trust me, I plan to", Eddy grinned. At that moment, another boat honk could be heard and the fourth boat could be seen.
There were 3 kids, two with backpacks and one with a big suitcase, from Gravity Falls: Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines and Pacifica Northwest. Pacifica immediately apprehensive upon looking at the island.
"Ugh, this place looks horrible!", Pacifica complained.
"Doesn't look that much different from Gravity Falls", Dipper retorted.
"I know", Pacifica spat, "Horrible".
"Aw, don't pout like that, P," Mabel smiled, "This is an opportunity for us to have a fun, but not too weird adventure! Besides, aren't you tempted by that cash prize you've been craving?"
"Oh, fine", Pacifica relented before all three of them descended onto the dock.
"Greetings, kids from Gravity Falls!", Bender proclaimed, "Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!"
"Uh, huh", Pacifica said disinterested, "So, when can we get to our rooms?"
"Not yet", Bender explained, "We have to wait til everyone gets here first. Oh, I'm gonna need you three to put all your technology in this bag".
Dipper hesitated for a bit, but then put his technology in the bag. Mabel followed suit. Everyone then turned to Pacifica.
"What?", Pacifica frowned.
"Put your phone in the bag, Pacifica", Dipper demanded.
"You're so lucky that I want this money", Pacifica complained before putting her phone in the bag.
"Greetings, my fellow contestants", Double D smiled, "You three look like you're familiar with this kind of terrain".
"Are you kidding?", Dipper smiled, "Me and my sister have been having such adventures for years, especially during the summer. Pacifica knows a bit of it too, but it's not really her thing".
"Sounds like you'll fit right in the Boy's Club", Eddy smiled, "Let's get you acquainted with the other guys and you can tell what you're made of".
"I, uh, would appreciate that", Dipper nervously blushed.
"Ed likes to have more friends!", Ed shouted. As Dipper was led away, the 4 girls gathered around.
"Just look at the little 'Boy's Club' they're forming over there", Cindy spat with disdain.
"Just saying it right now", Pacifica bragged, "There's no question that the boys will think I'm the most attractive".
"Oh, please", Cindy retorted, "Like I'm vying to be eye-candy for a bunch of nerdy boys".
"Yeah, let's not focus on them", Mabel smiled, "Let's do our own thing. Our own 'Girl's Club'!"
"But there are only 4 of us", Isabella pointed out.
"Not for long!", Bender explained, "We made sure to make the genders equal in participation. 12 boys and 12 girls. We're waiting on more boats".
"Thank goodness!", Cindy smiled. Another boat honk was heard, and a fifth boat could be seen.
There were 3 girls, two with backpacks and one with a big suitcase, from Brighton: Molly McGee, Libby Stein-Torres and Andrea Davenport. Andrea was happily holding up her phone and broadcasting everything to her 'Fandreas'.
"And here we are!", Andrea smiled, "We just got off the boat and LOOK where we just landed: a majestic and authentic Canadian island with REAL trees! And it looks most of our competition is already here! Doesn't this look exciting, girls?!"
"I think we're gonna have a blast!", Molly exclaimed.
"Yea", Libby weakly smiled. The three girls made their way onto the dock.
"Hey there, girls from Brighton", Bender proclaimed, "Welcome to-".
"Camp Wawanakwa!", Andrea finished, "And may I say that it is a pleasure to meet all of you and we would be honored to compete here. Say hi to my Fandreas!"
"Hi, Fandreas!", Mabel shouted.
"Hello!", Ed shouted.
"Okay, okay", Bender growled, "Let's settle down. While I certainly love to be the presence of adoring fans as well, we do have a show to run and we've already got adoring cameras all around us".
"Wait, we're being filmed?!", Libby shrieked as she hid behind Molly.
"It's okay, Libby", Molly soothed, "It's all a part of the program, remember? It's gonna be worth it. I promise."
"Especially with the big cash prize that was advertised", Andrea smiled, "But I'm not really chasing for that. Because I'm focused on getting more adoring fans like you all. I love each and every one of you!"
"Okay, enough with the sanctimony already!", Bender snapped, "Look, you all need to put your technology in this bag. So you gotta say goodbye to your Fandreas!"
"WHAT?!", Andrea exclaimed teary-eyed, "Well... can I at least say goodbye?!"
"Fine, but make it quick", Bender sighed.
"Okay", Andrea said before taking a deep breath, "Listen, you wonderful fans of mine. I regretfully have to say goodbye to you all for now. But that doesn't mean you can't watch me compete on this show. Tune in to channel..."
"Channel 1000", Bender said with deadpan.
"Channel 1000!", Andrea exclaimed before continuing, "And make sure that the show goes viral! Spam that hashtag! And remember that I will love you all! Okay bye!"
She ended the call with tears in her eyes before solemnly placing the phone in the bag, followed by Molly and Libby doing the same.
"Finally!", Bender sighed, "So you all just talk amongst yourselves while the rest of the contestants arrive. Thankfully, only 5 more boats and 8 more contestants are left".
"Hello!", Isabella smiled, "Welcome to the Girl's Club!"
"We are so happy to have you with us here!", Cindy smiled.
"Speak for some", Pacifica muttered to herself.
"You know", Molly smiled, "I think that it's just great that we're all gonna experience this competitive but enlightening program together. I think we're really gonna grow from this. Well, maybe not grow up too much, cause that would be really weird".
Molly laughed nervously at this, much to the worry of the other girls with the exception of Mabel.
"Yeah, we'll get along just fine!", Mabel grinned. That's when another boat honk was heard and a sixth boat could be seen.
There were 2 kids, a brother with a backpack and a sister with a suitcase, from Springfield: Bart and Lisa Simpson.
"So, this is where we'll be staying?", Lisa observed, "Honestly, I expected much worse. Though I should reserve judgement for when we see the whole camp."
"Mosquito bite!", Bart grinned as he poked Lisa's arm.
"Quit it, Bart!", Lisa snarled as they landed on the dock.
"Hi ya, kiddos from Springfield!", Bender smiled, "Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!"
"How's it hanging it dudes and dudettes?!", Bart proclaimed, "Who's ready to compete for the cash prize and for bragging rights?!" Sheen, Eddy and Ed cheered at this.
"I like him already!", Eddy grinned.
"Yeah, he's built different", Sheen smiled.
"Alright, before both of you start mingling with the others", Bender explained, "I'm gonna need all of your technology to be put in this bag".
"Don't sweat it, Ro-Bro", Bart smiled as he put his technology in the bag, "We know the rules".
"I think this is a most sensible policy", Lisa explained, "With the rise of TikTok and other addictive social media, we'd honestly be in more danger from the internet than whatever challenges we could face-".
"Yeah, yeah!", Bender barked, "I didn't ask for a history lesson, Missy! So just shut up, put your electronics in the bag and talk with the other girls!"
Lisa grumbled as she complied with the demand.
"Nerd alert", Eddy scowled.
"She won't last a day", Sheen agreed.
"Come on, guys", Dipper said, "We should give her a chance. We don't have a clue how this competition is going to work, and she may be a useful asset".
"Ed is confused by big words", Ed said. At that moment, another boat honk could hear and a seventh boat could be seen.
There were 2 kids from Dimmsdale: Timmy Turner and Trixie Tang. Timmy was struggling with not only his own backpack but also having to lift Trixie's MASSIVE suitcase on his back. Trixie smugly wore sunglasses as she glanced at the other contestants and made her way onto the dock, with Timmy stumbling behind her.
"Hey... there!", Bender said with some concern, "You two must be from Dimmsdale. Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa, I guess".
"Yes, but please do understand that I have not come to this tacky island for the sake of a pleasure cruise", Trixie haughtily expressed, "I have come for the big prize and to earn my own credentials for the Tang family name. Tommy, please place my suitcase over there".
"Y-yes, Trixie", Timmy strained as he moved the suitcase off his back.
"I had no choice but to bring him along", Trixie explained, "Since there was only one boat heading for this island. My mom obviously had reservations, but I made him promise to be my errand boy until we got there".
"Ah, I see you're one of those", Bender sighed, "Look princess, you and your little lover boy have to put all your technology in this bag. And before you say anything, this will all be on TV so you'll have many adoring fans cheering you on".
"Hmph, typical security protocol", Trixie huffed as she complied.
"But I have so many games on my phone!", Timmy protested.
"I SAID DO IT, YA SIMP!", Bender snapped. Timmy fearfully complied with the demand.
"What a wimp", Eddy muttered.
"More like a simp", Bart retorted, "And I should know".
"Hey, Timmy!", Jimmy smiled.
"Jimmy, is that you?, Timmy grinned. The two friends warmly greeted each other on the dock.
"Do they know each other?", Phineas asked.
"It's a long story", Carl explained.
"But we can promise you that Timmy's cool!", Sheen smiled.
"Yeah, right", Eddy spat.
"Wait, is that Timmy?", Cindy smiled, "He's competing here, too"?
"Ahem!", Trixie huffed.
"Oh, sorry", Cindy frowned, "Welcome to the Girl's Club, Trixie".
"Let's get one thing straight", Trixie explained, "I am the only girl that that buck-toothed boy is fawning over, and it's going to stay that way. And that basically applies to all the boys on this island, because I am the most pretty out of all of you".
"Don't lay your claim on ALL the boys here", Isabella frowned enviously.
"Yeah, and who said YOU were Queen B?", Pacifica scowled.
"Uh, I did", Trixie snarled, "And I don't know what sewer pipe you came from, Blondie, but YOU do not compare to ME!"
"Now listen here, you-", Pacifica growled.
"Girls, girls, please!", Andrea intervened, "There's no need for us to get feisty".
"That's right!", Molly agreed, "We all need to cooperate with each other to survive on this island".
"Last time I checked", Trixie retorted, "Only one of us will win it all. So this 'cooperation' seems to be the antithesis to the best winning strategy: survival of the fittest!"
"I think what Molly's trying to say is that we don't to be so ruthless", Libby suggested, "We can be still competitive but not be so... nasty about it".
Trixie and Pacifica just glared at her.
"Uh... forget I said anything", Libby said fearfully. At that moment, another boat honk could be heard and an eighth boat could be seen.
There were 2 kids, each with a backpack, from Woodcrest: Huey Freeman and Jazmine DuBois. Huey looked at the island with disdain, while Jazmine looked cheerful.
"I'm so excited about this, Huey", Jazmine smiled, "We're going to have so much fun here".
"No, we're not", Huey retorted as they stepped off the boat, "In fact, this will likely be the worst experience in your entire life. I know I said that in the past, but this time I really mean it".
"What's up, kids from Woodcrest?", Bender grinned, "Welcome to my crib: Camp Wawanakwa!"
"Don't patronize us!", Huey snapped.
"Okay, jeez kid!", Bender stressed, "No need to be a downer".
"And why not?", Huey frowned, "You're basically exploiting us like animals for profit by making us compete for the entertainment of your wealthy viewers and donors".
"Dude, you chose to come here", Bender retorted, "You e-signed the contract".
"Yeah, but it's not like I had a choice", Huey scowled, "Granddad told me to compete so we can help pay off our debt, and he didn't trust Riley to be on television".
"Alright then", Bender smiled, "Just put your technology in this bag and go mingle with the other contestants. We only got 2 contestants left on 2 different boats. And thank God, cause I'm starting to get tired of using the same greeting".
Huey, reluctantly, and Jazmine both complied.
"Oh my gosh!", Andrea gushed, "You two look SO exotic and empowering! May I touch your hair?"
"If you value your hand, I suggest that you don't!", Huey threatened. Andrea's eyes widened.
"Okay", Andrea said quietly while pulling her hand away. As Huey walked past them, Jazmine looked at the other girls with a nervous smile.
"He's just really shy", Jazmine reassured, "It's nice to meet all of you".
"We're so happy to have you join us", Isabella smiled, "And since there are now 12 boys here, all we're waiting on is 2 more girls to show up and we're good to go".
"Wait a minute!", Andrea gushed, "What is that adorable robo-puppy?!" She was pointing right at Goddard.
"You're right!", Molly gushed, "He IS such a cute puppy!"
"Hey, stop gossiping about my dog!", Jimmy snapped, "His name is Goddard and he's not a puppy!"
"Goddard?", Pacifica chuckled, "What kinda name is that? It sounds old and pretentious at the same time".
"While admittedly this robotic mutt does look unsettling", Trixie assessed, "I must admit that this is a very impressive creation you've got here. How much is this dog worth? Because I think he would be excellent as a research test subject-".
"Are you crazy?!", Andrea shrieked, "You can't test on this poor thing! I'll pay double to take this precious little buddy home with me!"
"He's not going to be researched and he's not coming home with ANY of you!", Jimmy barked, "Goddard is MY dog! Right, boy?" Goddard loyally barked in Jimmy's direction, much to the latter's joy. Trixie rolled her eyes, while Andrea looked genuinely sad.
"Not to worry, ladies", Eddy grinned as he pulled rocks with googly eyes, "I can give y'all a couple of inanimate pets of your own. Only for a mere quarter each!"
"As if I'd lower myself to receiving handouts!", Trixie scoffed.
"You do NOT play with a girl's heart like that, mister!", Andrea growled before looking at the camera, "Honestly, can you believe him, Fandreas?! Taking us for suckers!"
"Of course the most entitled and privileged of kids are the biggest drama queens", Huey spat.
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that!", Pacifica growled. At that moment, another boat honk could be heard and the second to last boat could be seen.
There was only 1 girl with a very large suitcase from Beach City: Connie Maheswaran. She had long hair, wore a casual outfit and didn't have any glasses. She stepped off the boat without saying a word.
"Hello, Connie!", Bender grinned, "Our lone contestant from Beach City. Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!"
"I'm grateful to be here", Connie smiled.
"You just said her name", Trixie frowned, "Why didn't you greet us with our names?"
"Well duh, cause there's only one of her", Bender retorted, "What was I supposed call her? Girl from Beach City? Anyways Connie, just put your technology in this bag and you're good to go".
"Yes, sir", Connie said respectfully as she quickly complied.
"Hello, Connie", Jazmine smiled, "We're gonna be your fellow contestants. On behalf of the girls, I wholeheartedly welcome you to our group".
"Thanks, I really appreciate it", Connie blushed.
"Connie seems awfully shy and quiet", Phineas observed, "I mean not as quiet as Ferb, but still. You think she's ever been in this kind of environment before?"
"She's just weak", Eddy spat, "Look at how scrawny and nerdy she is. She doesn't stand a choice against us".
"Don't be a fool", Huey retorted, "Looks can be deceiving. She's got some muscle, so she must be some kind of athlete. There are some tiny scars on her hands, and her eyes indicate that she has the soul of a warrior. She's a force to be reckoned with".
"How can you tell?", Double D asked in astonishment.
"It's just a gut feeling", Huey shrugged.
"You're thinking WAY too deep about it, man", Eddy smirked, "She probably just got the muscles from having to do so many chores, and got those scars from sewing".
"Whatever the case is", Dipper observed, "Right now, there are 12 boys and 11 girls. So this last contestant has to be a-". A final boat honk interrupted his thoughts.
And the final boat could be seen, with there only being one surly girl from Hillwood with just a backpack: Helga Pataki. She glared across the dock and at all the contestants, most of whom were now paralyzed with fear. Even Bender was a little spooked as Helga stepped off the boat.
"Hey there, Helga", Bender said nervously, "You must be from Hillwood. Welcome to-"
"Save me the formalities!", Helga spat, "You know why I'm here. My eyes are on the prize and no one's getting in my way!"
"Duly noted", Bender acknowledged, "Just please put your technology in the bag and we get this show started".
"All I got this beeper", Helga sighed as she pulled out of her bag. Bender and the other contestants stared at it incredulously.
"Do they even make those things anymore?", Bender asked.
"Hey, don't judge me!", Helga growled, "Bob said I had to take one with me. He runs a business selling these crummy things! He even calls himself the Beeper King!"
Bender began laughing at it, while Helga frowned even more. Some of the contestants began to chuckle as well.
"Oh wait, you're serious", Bender smiled, "Let me laugh even harder!" Bender continued in his cruel laughter, which prompted Helga to throw the beeper in his face.
"Ow!", Bender winced before chuckling, "Totally worth it".
"You can keep that dumb crap!", Helga barked, "I don't want anyways! And I better not even so much as a PEEP from the peanut gallery!"
The contestants stopped laughing at once.
"Suit yourself", Bender smiled, "Man, this thing ain't even good enough to be in the bag. Hey, Courage! Here's a little gift from Uncle Bender!"
Bender tossed the beeper at Courage, who happily grabbed the beeper and hugged it.
"Stupid dog", Eustace spat before looking at Bender, "Is that everyone?"
"Yep!", Bender grinned, "And now that everyone's here, let's gather around the campfire and I'll explain everything.
All the contestants were now gathered at the campfire and were talking amongst themselves in groups. Jimmy, Carl and Sheen were talking with Ed, Double D and Eddy. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella were talking with Dipper, Bart and Timmy. Molly, Libby and Andrea were talking with Cindy, Trixie and Pacifica. And Huey, Jazmine and Connie were talking with Mabel, Lisa and Helga.
Strangely, Courage and Goddard were also engaging in an unintelligible conversation by the dock. It also involved Goddard pulling out a hand from his back compartment and used it to make funny hand gestures, which Courage found very amusing. Courage then gave Goddard the beeper and let him fiddle around with it.
Bender arrived and he got the attention of the contestants.
"Alright, listen up you little meatbags", Bender exclaimed, "Before I go over anything, how many of you have heard or watched Total Drama before?"
Only Eddy rose his hand, much to the surprise of the other kids.
"Had the opportunity to watch the show when it first premiered", Eddy smirked, "And I mean the Canadian broadcast, not the American censored one."
"Neat, you came prepared", Bender smiled, "Which seasons did you watch though?"
"Just Island, Action and World Tour", Eddy said, "It all went south from there".
"Damn straight!", Bender agreed, "Since you're already accustomed to the show, why don't you explain the basics?"
"Gladly!", Eddy grinned, "Here's how it works. We get split into two teams, we do a challenge as said team, the losing team votes on who they want to send home and marshmallows are passed to everyone except the one who gets eliminated. Was that on point?"
"Right on the money!", Bender smiled, "But before we talk about the money, we gotta discuss what happens when you get eliminated. Nominally, you have to go to the Dock of Shame. But, there is a twist. I present to you: THE SLIDE OF LOSERS!"
The cameras zooms out of Courage and Goddard's continued discussion to reveal Ren and Stimpy erecting a massive slide, that looked like it belonged at a water park, at the end of the dock. But instead of a ladder or stairs, there was a plastic tube that actively acting like a vacuum. The kids looked at the slide with astonishment.
"So cool!", Sheen grinned, "We get to go out in style!"
"I know!", Andrea agreed, "We are SO gonna go viral!"
"Excuse me", Double D asked, "But how do we know if this slide is safe or not? And there doesn't to be any infrastructure to get us home safely".
"Ah, don't worry about that", Bender reassured as he revealed a storage of water rafts in the nearby boathouse, "We have plenty of big water rafts available. Plenty of space for you and your luggage. Along with plenty of military nations, an extra and cheap blanket, a map, a compass and two oars for your long journey."
"How are you supposed to go to the bathroom?", Pacifica frowned.
"You can do your business in the ocean", Bender retorted, "And as for whether this slide is safe or not, I'll give you a demonstration. Courage! Put that bag inside your robotic friend!"
Courage glanced at Bender and then sighed. He grabbed the bag and then waited for a few seconds for Goddard to finish typing on the beeper. Goddard gave the beeper back and then grabbed the bag with the hand and then fit the whole thing inside his back.
"Good!", Bender exclaimed, "Now you know what to do!"
Courage turned to Goddard, untied him from the pole and then made his way to the big slide. Goddard whimpered as he got closer to the pipe, but Courage patted his head out of affection and then winked at him.
"Take care, my good dog", Courage smiled as he moved Goddard to the pipe and then watched him get sucked up the pipe. The kids gasped in horror.
"GODDARD!", Jimmy yelled.
"MY STUFF!", Trixie wailed.
As soon as Goddard reached the top, he then slid down the big slide until light was visible. But as soon as Goddard's feet left the slide, he then used his ears to fly over the water. Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief, while the other kids looked on with amazement.
"Nice try, Bender!", Jimmy smirked, "Goddard is far too advanced to fall victim to your cheap tricks!"
"Oh, but that's where the EMP comes in!", Bender grinned as he pulled out a remote with a big red button and then pressed it. A massive translucent EMP force shield formed around the island. Although it didn't reach Goddard, he could feel its power and thus backed away to make sure he wasn't hit.
"What did you just do?!", Phineas exclaimed.
"I surrounded this island in an invisible but very potent EMP shield", Bender explained, "I knew that dog would be alright. Why do you think I didn't give him a raft to land on? But while the EMP won't affect any of you, it'll keep that mutt and that tech in the bag from coming back to the island."
"So we won't get to have our tech back?", Andrea teared up.
"Not while you're in this competition", Bender frowned, "Once you're outside this island, then you can get your tech back. Well... from wherever the dog chooses to be".
"This is completely asinine!", Jimmy barked.
"Did any of ya read the contract?", Bender snarled, "No contestant is allowed to have technology with them during the competition".
"What about the beeper?", Dipper asked.
"It's a beeper, kid", Bender retorted, "That thing can barely be considered tech! Besides, it doesn't belong to a contestant anymore. So it can stay".
"But how are we supposed to contact our parents?", Trixie stressed.
"Oh, that's the neat thing", Bender smiled, "Ya don't". Some of the contestants immediately to panic.
"But I was supposed to contact them as soon I landed!", Connie hyperventilated.
"They're going to be so worried about me!", Jazmine exclaimed.
"How are we supposed to function without the internet?!", Dipper protested.
"Look, if you softies aren't willing to put on your big kid pants and get over yourselves", Eddy smirked, "Then you join the robot dog and those sad little phones outside! Meanwhile, me and all the rest of the brave kids are going to compete for the big prize!"
"Perfect transition, little man", Bender smiled, "The big cash prize for the winner of this competition is worth $250,000! That's right: a quarter of a million dollars!"
The protesting immediately ceased upon this revelation.
"I mean, I guess Mommy and Daddy could be okay with the silence if I manage to win", Jazmine reasoned.
"I'm probably going to get grounded when I get home", Connie admitted, "But winning will probably make it worth it".
"See, having no tech is no reason to throw a hissy fit", Bender smiled, "Focus on the competition and it'll all be worth it... for one of you at least".
"Goddard!", Jimmy yelled, "Don't worry about me! Fly south and get help! Find anyone and let them know what's going on! And safe, boy!"
Goddard let out a determined bark in response, and then noticed Courage giving him a friendly salute. Goddard briefly saluted back and then used his feet to fly away.
"Now that that's taken care of", Bender smiled, "It's time to divide you all into teams. On my left will be the Chirping Divas and on my right will be the Crying Sissies. Now listen for your assignments and walk to your designated spots. Andrea: Team Divas".
"Diva isn't exactly flattering", Andrea said as she walked to the left, "But it sounds better than sissy at least".
"Dipper: Team Sissies", Bender continued.
"What?!", Dipper blushed, "But I'm not a sissy!"
"Just do it, ya sissy!", Bender barked. Dipper reluctantly walked to the right.
"Ed: Team Divas"
"Ed likes to chirp to a chicken!", Ed smiled as he walked to the left.
"Connie: Team Sissies", Bender continued. Connie only blushed as she walked to the right. Dipper nervously waved at her out of support.
"Phineas: Team Divas".
Phineas walked to the left without a fuss.
"Bart: Team Sissies".
"Eat my shorts!", Bart grumbled as he walked to the right.
"Double D: Team Divas", Bender continued.
Double D smiled as he walked to the left. Ed hugged him tightly as soon as he got close
"Jazmine: Team Sissies".
Jazmine grinned at this, and she ran over to where Connie was and hugged her new friend. Connie was originally caught off-guard, but happily reciprocated the hug.
"Pacifica: Team Divas".
Pacifica smugly walked over to the left.
"Carl: Team Sissies".
Carl breathed a sigh of relief as he walked to the right, where he was warmly welcomed by Connie and Jazmine.
"Jimmy: Team Divas".
"Jimmy walked over to the left, where he and Phineas exchanged a fist bump.
"Libby: Team Sissies".
Libby nervously walked over to the right, but was greeted with open arms by Jazmine, Connie and Carl.
"Huey: Team Divas".
Huey sighed in frustration as he made his way to the left. Jazmine looked sad at this, but Connie comforted her.
"Ferb: Team Sissies".
Ferb walked over to the right, where he and Dipper exchanged a fist bump.
"Eddy: Team Divas".
Eddy grinned as he walked to the left. Ed grabbed Eddy as soon as he came close, and he gave him and Double D a very tight hug.
"Timmy: Team Sissies".
Timmy sighed in defeat as he walked to the right, where he was greeted by a supportive Carl.
"Cindy: Team Divas".
Cindy confidently walked over to the left, much to the chagrin of Jimmy.
"Molly: Team Sissies".
Molly smiled as she walked to the right, where she was greeted by a very relieved Libby, along with Carl, Jazmine and Connie.
"Trixie: Team Divas".
Trixie smirked as she pompously walked to the left, much to the chagrin of Timmy.
"Sheen: Team Sissies".
Sheen grinned as he ran over to the right, where he was greeted by a very excited Bart and Timmy. Dipper and Carl were notably less enthused.
"Mabel: Team Divas".
Mabel grinned as she ran over to the left to be with Pacifica, much to her reluctance. Dipper breathed a sigh of relief.
"Isabella: Team Sissies".
Isabella sighed in disappointment as she walked to the right, but she was comforted the supportive presence of Libby, Connie and Jazmine.
"And Lisa: Team Divas".
"Well, I'd hardly describe myself as a diva", Lisa argued, but she still walked to the left.
"And that means you, Helga, will join Team Sissies", Bender smiled.
"Fine, but you better not call me a sissy!", Helga threatened as she walked over to the right.
"So, just to recap", Bender explained, "The Chirping Divas will consist of Andrea, Ed, Phineas, Double D, Pacifica, Jimmy, Huey, Eddy, Cindy, Trixie, Mabel and Lisa. The Crying Sissies will consist of Dipper, Connie, Bart, Jazmine, Carl, Libby, Ferb, Timmy, Molly, Sheen, Isabella and Helga."
"Everyone got that? Good! Now, there are four cabins in that area over there, with 3 bunk beds in each one. There's one for the Diva Boys, Diva Girls, Sissy Boys and Sissy Girls. Find your designated cabin, figure out where you're sleeping, drop off your luggage and then come with me to the mess hall!"
"Oh, and one more thing. That outhouse acts as your confessional booth. You can use it whenever you want say whatever you want in total privacy. You can do other stuff too, but they might not be ideal to have on film". Bender chuckled afterwards.
Dipper: "I'm actually happy with how our team turned out. Some of us obviously are stronger than others, and I think Sheen's kinda crazy. But the great thing is that we don't have a lot of egos on this team. Mark my words, the Divas are going to destroy themselves, despite having more talent on their team. The Sissies - still not thrilled about the name - can actually work and function as a team. The only one I'm really worried is Helga. But if I can get Pacifica to change her act, I'm sure we can get Helga to cooperate with us... I hope".
Eddy: "Man, this is WAY too easy! All of the heavy-hitters are on this name, along with the brainiacs. The Divas are a super team! The Sissies are nothing but a bunch of... well, SISSIES! They fit their name perfectly. Now, Sheen and Bart are obviously cool, and I guess Dipper and Ferb are alright. But everyone else is either a scrawny pushover or, in that Helga's case, destined to be booted off early. We're gonna win so much that we're gonna get tired of winning!"
Helga: I can't believe that I got assigned to be with these nerdy losers! How I am supposed to work with some brats who'll suck their thumbs, wet the bed and cry for their mommies and daddies?! I knew I should've gone with Arnold and his parents on that Thailand trip. But I guess I have no other option. I'm gonna have to toughen these weaklings, cut out the dead weight and drag this team to the finish line! Bob would never let me hear the end of it if I just threw it in the towel. No, I am a Pataki and I will prevail in spite of my wimpy teammates!
Jimmy: Okay, the last few moments have no doubt been anxiety-inducing and maybe even traumatic. But I'll think I'll manage. Goddard will be fine. I believe in him. He's gonna find someone to help us and they'll enact justice on those who put us here. But hopefully it'll be after I win the whole thing. Make no mistake, I may be teammates with Vortex but my cooperation with her is only out of necessity and I will not play second fiddle to him or any one of those other icky and highly strung girls. It won't be easy, but I'm going to lead my team to victory and I've got my eyes on the prize.
In the Sissy Girls cabin, Molly, Libby, Connie, Jazmine, Isabella and Helga arrived to their three prepared bunk beds.
"I'm bunking with Molly", Libby stammered.
"I'm bunking with Connie", Jazmine smiled.
"I guess I'm bunking with Helga then", Isabella sighed.
"Whatever, I'm sleeping on top!", Helga barked.
"I'd prefer to sleep on the bottom", Libby expressed, "Wouldn't want to accidentally fall in my sleep".
"Totally cool with me", Molly smiled, "I prefer to sleep on top anyway".
Connie and Jazmine were deep in thought as they looked at their bunk bed, before looking at each other.
"Do you have a preference?", Jazmine asked.
"Not really", Connie admitted before asking, "Do you?"
"I'm a little afraid of heights", Jazmine frowned, "But I REALLY don't like being in the dark".
"Aw, are you afraid of getting monsters in your sleep?", Connie asked sweetly. Jazmine gave a tear-eyed nod.
"It's okay, you don't have to be ashamed", Connie soothed, "Tell you what: you sleep on top and I'll sleep on the dark bottom".
"Are you sure you're alright with that?", Jazmine asked.
"I know I am", Connie reassured, "I've fought my fair share of monsters and I'm not afraid of any sinister creatures. I promise I'll keep you safe at night".
"Oh thank you so much, Connie", Jazmine smiled.
"You're welcome, Jazmine", Connie smiled back.
Helga retched in disgust upon hearing their conversation, earning a look of disapproval from Isabella.
"So, do any of you girls have anything interesting to share?", Libby asked, "I'd be happy to hear them".
"I am the leader of the Fireside Girls", Isabella explained, "We're a group of girl scouts committed to supporting the Danville community and beyond!"
"Well, there's not much interesting about me as of yet", Connie explained, "But my dad is a private security guard and my mom is a doctor".
"That sounds amazing, Connie!", Jazmine smiled, "Your parents must work so hard!"
"They certainly do", Connie blushed, "But what about you, Jazmine?"
"My Mommy doesn't work", Jazmine admitted, "But my Daddy just became Woodcrest's new District Attorney!"
All the other girls looked at her with astonishment, even Helga.
"That's fantastic, Jazmine!", Connie beamed, "That's a VERY prestigious position. I am so happy for your dad!"
"Aw, thank you Connie!", Jazmine blushed.
"Yeah, that sounds great!", Molly stammered, "All of you are on the right path to success! Can you excuse me and Libby for a moment?"
Molly frantically pulled Libby to the side.
"Libby, these girls have it so much better than us", Molly whispered in panic, "How are we supposed to supposed to compete with them? How am I supposed to-".
"Molly, Molly", Libby reassured, "You're worried about the wrong girls. Isabella, Connie and Jazmine may have a lot going for them, but they're nice and accommodating girls. They won't care about our flaws. It's Helga we should be worried about".
"Yeah, she can be a little scary", Molly admitted before finding out she was no longer by her bunk bed, "Wait, where did she go?"
Molly and Libby shrieked and fell the floor when they saw Helga right next standing to them.
"So, what makes you two sissies so special?", Helga interrogated.
"Well... I mean-you see... it's kinda complicated-", Molly stammered before having Libby's hand cover her mouth.
"Nothing!", Libby exclaimed with a nervous smile, "There's nothing special or unique about us. We're just normal girls living normal lives".
"Wimps", Helga spat as she walked out of the room.
"Helga scares me", Jazmine whimpered.
"Don't worry about her", Connie said determinedly, "I won't let Helga lay a finger on you or any of the other girls on this team. If she tries anything, she'll have to get through me. I'm not scared of her".
"Easy for you to say", Isabella grumbled, "You don't have to sleep under that grouchy troll".
"I HEARD THAT, HAIR BOW!", Helga yelled from outside. Jazmine frightfully leaned closer to Connie.
"You're sure you can fight her, Connie?", Jazmine whispered.
"Jazmine, I can beat her", Connie whispered back, "I can promise you that".
In the Sissy Boys cabin, Bart, Sheen, Carl, Timmy, Dipper and Ferb arrived to their three prepared bunk beds.
"I'm bunking with Sheen", Bart grinned.
"I'm bunking with Ferb", Dipper smiled.
"And I'm bunking with Timmy", Carl shrugged.
"Good, then we're all settled", Sheen smiled.
"Not quite, Sheen", Dipper explained, "We still gotta decide who will sleep on the top and who will sleep on the bottom".
"I know how we can settle this", Bart smirked, "Rock, Paper, Scissors!"
"You're on!", Sheen proclaimed. After just one round, Bart produces paper while Sheen produces rock.
"Oh, man", Sheen pouted.
"Neat!", Bart smiled, "I'm sleeping on top!"
"You wanna settle it the same way, Ferb?", Dipper asked.
"Actually, I'm content with sleeping on the bottom", Ferb said.
"Really?", Dipper smiled, "Thanks, Ferb! You're the best!"
"Uh, Timmy", Carl expressed, "I don't wanna cramp my hands with this exercise. And sleeping in total darkness gives me bad dreams".
"That's okay, Carl", Timmy shrugged, "I'm fine with sleeping on the bottom".
"Thanks, Timmy", Carl smiled, "But I have a question. Why don't you have your computer programs with you?"
"Jorgen said I'm not allowed to have them with me at all during this competition", Timmy grumbled, "So they're staying at home with just Chloe, their other kid".
"Ah, I see", Carl nodded before asked, "Is this Chloe cute, Timmy?"
"I mean, she is a sweet girl", Timmy blushed, "And she's kinda cute".
In the Diva Girls cabin, Trixie, Pacifica, Andrea, Cindy, Mabel and Lisa arrived to their three prepared bunk beds.
"I'll be bunking with P!", Mabel smiled.
"Joy", Pacifica groaned.
"I guess I'll bunk with Andrea", Trixie shrugged.
"And that leaves me with Lisa", Cindy observed.
"You know, I don't think we're exactly taking the right approach to this competition", Lisa explained, "Rather than rely on wealth or clout, we should utilize our gender and intelligence to gain the advantage-".
"Oh shut up, Stargirl!", Trixie snapped, "Go bug someone else with your philosophical drivel!"
"Yeah, this is NOT the place for whatever little agenda you may have", Pacifica growled, "You're either here to win, or you're just getting in the way".
"There's more to this than just individual gain!", Lisa barked, "We have the opportunity to show the television world just how capable we are as an oppressed minority. We can inspire genuine change for the greater moral good, and yet you all seem to care about either the prize money or increasing your follower count".
"You know, I think you would be amazing for the radio", Andrea smiled, "You wanna start a podcast with me?"
"You're not even listening to me!", Lisa whined.
"Look, no offense Lisa", Mabel explained, "But you're talking to the wrong crowd".
"Yeah, why don't you just step outside and calm down?", Cindy asked, "It won't be long before we have to go to the mess hall anyway".
"Fine!", Lisa exclaimed as she walked out, "But when you all fall short of the big prize, don't cry about!" She slammed the door behind her.
"If she talks to me like that again", Trixie seethed, "I'm gonna hit her".
"Right behind you", Pacifica agreed.
"She's just weird", Mabel complained, "And I'm not talking like the fun kind of weird. I mean the boring kind of weird".
"The last thing we need is a female Neutron", Cindy groaned.
"Now, girls", Andrea soothed, "We need to be reasonable about this. Lisa just has a different perspective than us. We just have to accept it and embrace being a team. Otherwise the Sissies will beat us. I mean, it's not like I dislike them or anything. I just don't like losing".
"So, Andrea and Pacifica", Trixie asked, "Do your families have a thriving business?"
"Used to", Andrea frowned, "But when that big mall opened just outside the city, we went out of business".
"And your parents just let that happen?", Trixie asked incredulously.
"They already convinced the mayor not to open the mall within the city", Andrea barked, "What were they supposed to do?"
"There were several things they could've done", Trixie explained, "Bribe them, blackmail them, frame them, upstage them, or any dirty trick you can think of!"
"My family would not stoop that low!", Andrea argued.
"My family's been doing it for generations", Pacifica admitted.
"Well, if you want to do it the ethical way", Trixie continued, "They could've bought the mall, or at least buy a minority ownership stake in the business".
"Buying out our competitor's stock?!", Andrea snarled, "What kind of business model is that?!"
"Literally every successful business has done that!", Trixie yelled, "My parents have been doing it since I was just a little baby! And our family fortune has more than quadrupled since then!"
"Our family hasn't gone that far because we didn't have to", Pacifica explained, "At least not lately. We used to have a firm hold over Gravity Falls, but we gave it up voluntarily in exchange for a profit. Not like we had a choice anyway".
"Oh, how the mighty have fallen", Trixie observed, "Well, Pacifica, while your family history sounds illustrious and all, it looks that success has reached its conclusion. And Andrea, your family business seems to have fallen prematurely. Let it serve as a lesson that you have to be ruthless in order to thrive in the world. That's why my family is more successful that ever and that's why I will emerge as the winner. By the way, I'm sleeping on top".
"You don't have to rub it in", Andrea frowned sadly.
"In your dreams, Tang!", Pacifica growled.
"What did I get myself into?", Cindy grumbled.
"Don't sweat it, Cindy", Mabel smiled, "We'll bond as a team when we get to the first challenge".
And in the Divas Boys cabin, Jimmy, Ed, Double D, Eddy, Phineas and Huey arrived to their three prepared bunk beds.
"I'll be bunking with Phineas", Jimmy said.
"I'll bunk with Huey", Double D said.
"That means I'll be bunk mates with Ed", Eddy smiled, "But I'm sleeping on top".
"Ed's good sleeping on bottom, Eddy", Ed exclaimed.
"Do you have a preference, Huey?", Double D asked.
"Doesn't matter", Huey frowned.
"Okay, then I'll sleep on top", Double D said.
"I'll let you sleep on top, Phineas", Jimmy smiled, "Being closer to the ground level while sleeping will likely make my dreams less sporadic".
"Thanks, Jimmy", Phineas smiled before frowning, "Sorry about your dog though".
"He'll be fine", Jimmy sighed, "Goddard and I have been in way tougher climates. He's gonna either go home or stay in Canada, but he'll find help for us either way. As tempting and exhilarating as this show may be, there's no doubt that there's a shady and maybe even criminal component behind this. And we'll find out soon enough".
"And then what?", Huey interrupted, "What exactly would it accomplish? By the time the authorities get involved, the executives behind this will have already won and exploited every possible dime out of our suffering for their pocket and amusement. The best thing we can do right now is survive".
"You two are a bunch of pansies", Eddy scoffed, "There's nothing shady about this show and we all signed up for it. The weak will be sent home and the strong will thrive until there is one left standing. Nothing else matters except for victory at all costs".
"That says a lot about your character", Huey spat.
"Oh save us your preaching, Afro!", Eddy barked. Huey began to walk towards Eddy.
"You just crossed the line, you sleazebag", Huey growled. Jimmy and Phineas got between the two.
"Guys, guys!", Jimmy pleaded, "There's no reason for us to fight".
"Yeah, we're a team!", Phineas added.
"He started it!", Eddy yelled.
"I'll finish it!", Huey snarled.
"CAMPERS!", Bender bellowed from outside, "It's time to go to the mess hall! Let's move out, ya meatbags!"
"Saved by the bell", Huey grumbled as he glared at Eddy, who just stuck his tongue at him.
"This is going to be a long summer", Double D groaned.
All 24 contestants followed Bender into the mess hall, and their mouths figuratively dropped to the floor when they saw what was on the opposite side of the room. Muriel was just finished preparing an mouth-watering buffet of food for them. Eustace, Courage, Ren and Stimpy were already gorging themselves.
"Ya see, I was thinking how I was gonna fee you meatbags", Bender explained, "Because I don't wanna spend a lot of money on catering. But Saint Muriel kindly stepped and said she'd cook for you free of charge! It's far better than the slop cooked by that so-called 'Chef' years back".
"I hope you kids are ready for a pleasant and memorable lunch", Muriel smiled, "I've prepared a lovely Canadian delicacy for you all. It wasn't easy to master at first, but I think I got the hang of it. What I have for you is teriyaki salmon, crab tacos, mashed potatoes with gravy, fried macaroni, apple fritters, maple donuts and salad. For beverages, you have the options of water, coffee or ginger ale".
"Ay carumba!", Bart exclaimed.
"We just hit the jackpot!", Eddy grinned.
"Let's not get all worked up just yet", Trixie explained, "We need to know how it tastes first".
They each grabbed a paper plate, plastic utensils and a paper cup. They filled their plate to their own preference, while some put on more food than others, particularly Ed. Once they filled their plate and filled their cup with their preferred beverage, they moved to the tables to sit wherever they wanted.
Helga sat by herself. Jimmy, Timmy, Carl and Sheen sat as a group. Ed, Double D and Eddy sat with Bart. Dipper and Mabel decided to sit with Phineas, Ferb and Isabella. Trixie and Pacifica reluctantly sat with Molly, Libby and Andrea. Cindy and Lisa decided to join Connie and Jazmine. Huey then chose to sit with them as well, to the surprise of both Connie and Jazmine.
"You don't want to sit with any of the boys?", Connie asked.
"No chance", Huey grumbled, "I have no interest in having conservation with boys who are in over their head or are irredeemably selfish. Plus, this was the most favorable group available".
"I don't blame you one bit", Lisa frowned, "The Diva girls are no better. Trixie is an entitled and pompous brat. Pacifica is barely more tolerable, but she's still cynical and demeaning. Andrea is much nicer than them, but she's just so fixated on gaining online clout and her personality is kinda superficial".
"You can say that again", Huey agreed.
"And no disrespect to Mabel", Lisa whispered, "But I think her parents let her eat WAY too much sugar".
"Look, things on the Diva team are... admittedly tense", Cindy sighed, "How is it on the Sissies' side?"
"We don't really have a lot of problems in our cabin", Connie smiled, "We got along well".
"Everyone except her", Jazmine frowned as she pointed to a brooding Helga who was admittingly enjoying her lunch.
"I'll take care of her if she gets out of line", Connie reassured.
"Oh, I believe you", Huey said, "A lot of the boys underestimate you, but I know that you're a capable fighter".
"Thank you, Huey", Connie blushed, "Are you a good fighter?"
"Is grass green?", Huey shrugged. Connie giggled at this.
"I envy your situation, Jazmine and Connie", Lisa sighed, "I wish you two were my teammates, not these rich girls. Why was I even put on the Diva team?!"
"I can think of a few reasons", Huey said, "But if its' any consolidation, you and Cindy are the least annoying girls on the team".
"I'll take that as a compliment", Lisa relented.
They began eat and enjoy their respective meals. Connie looked at her apple fritter and maple donut with doubt.
"I'm not even supposed to have these", Connie frowned, "My parents don't allow me to eat anything with trans fats.
"I think that's a smart decision that they made", Lisa explained, "Trans fats can cause severe heart problems and can cause strokes. I just wish my parents had a similar amount of agency".
"Regardless", Huey retorted, "You can't just let them control your life. You gotta be willing to make your own choices. Otherwise, you'll grow up to a mindless drone for the system".
"Besides", Jazmine added, "There's no harm in eating a few sweets every once in a while. I promise I won't tell".
Connie looked at her two desserts and sighed. She first took a bite out of the apple fritter and her eyes widened. She then took a bite of the maple donut and her eyes have stars in them.
"How are they?", Jazmine asked.
"This tastes amazing!", Connie grinned, "What have I been missing? Oh my stars!"
"Hey, Jazmine and Huey", Cindy inquired, "I see neither of you have any fish on your plate. Are you two allergic?"
"Nope, I just don't eat animals", Huey retorted.
"Eating animals is murder", Jazmine agreed.
"Couldn't agree more!", Lisa smiled as she raised her hands for high fives, "Vegetarians for life!"
Jazmine happily gave her the high-five, and Huey half-heartedly followed suit.
"Well, campers!", Bender proclaimed, "How was your lunch?"
"This was actually splendid!", Trixie gushed.
"I wish my mouth was bigger!", Mabel grinned.
"Ed loves the gravy!", Ed smiled.
"We are not worthy of this heavenly banquet!", Carl exclaimed.
"Oh, I am so flattered!', Muriel blushed, "I'm just glad that I get your fill your little bellies three times a day".
"Well, let's not waste anymore time!", Eustace barked, "Finish up your plates and let's get moving! You got your first challenge awaiting by the cliff!"
"Oh, is this the jumping challenge?!", Eddy grinned.
"Correct!", Bender smiled, "Once you're finished eating, go back to your cabins and change into your swimsuits! You kids will be diving into water today!"
"I don't think that sounds safe", Double D whimpered.
"Oh, don't worry", Phineas smiled, "How dangerous can it be?"
The camera cuts to the giant cliff with the campers, now wearing their swimsuits, visibly near the edge.
Be to continued...