Almost forgot that it's Wednesday, oops! But here we go, chapter seven. Thank you all for your kind messages and brill reviews!
I've been writing like crazy while I was away on vacation so I'm maintaining my lead with pre-written chapters, which is always good.

As always, my unending gratitude to annaharding, maplestyle, hotteaforme, and melcee for their support and answering all the weird and wonderful questions I fire at them!

banks

7

"Essie…" I trail off, choked up.

We're on a precipice, my sister and I. I can see it in the way she looks at me, the way she's holding on like she's scared I'll disappear if she lets go. My eyes burn as I swallow around the lump in my throat, chest in a vise.

I can barely see past the mist of fucked-up memories I buried ten years ago and hoped would stay goddamn buried.

But skeletons have a way of digging their way out, don't they?

"You know I've got you, brother. But I can't keep watching you like this. You've got to start thinking ahead. Those babies deserve that, you deserve that." Sniffling, when I pull her tight to my chest, she winds her arms around my waist. "You need to sort your shit out."

The indignant tone of her voice almost makes me smile. "You sound like Archie, he's pickin' up your tone."

Speaking of…

The door clacks open and we turn toward his voice. "Uh, i-is somethin' w-w-wrong?"

"Everything's fine, Ace," I lie, Es quickly wiping her face with her sleeve. Thinking fast, I mentally count up how much change I have in my glove box before forcing a smile for the boy who looks less than convinced. "Put some shoes on. Let's go grab somethin' nice for lunch, hey?"

Es reaches down to squeeze my hand and I already know—we're gonna be okay, and she'll stay here with the baby while I take Archie to the store.

"Uh, okay."

"I'll come help you," Es offers, squeezing my hand again on her way past.

Out in the desert, the sun beating down on me and the breeze falling eerily still, I force thoughts of how I already failed one Charlotte from my mind.

But ten minutes later when I'm smiling for Archie, cranking the music in the truck and promising him we're gonna have a good rest of the day, I can feel the clock ticking.

It's just a matter of time before I fail these kids, too.

- banks -

Archie's burst of energy dies the second we walk into the store and realize it's crammed full of people. He takes a big step closer to me so he's plastered to my side, anxiety rolling off him.

"You wanna ride in a cart?"

His quick nod makes me feel like an idiot for not thinking of it when I saw the busy parking lot, but I can fix it now. Someone's abandoned an empty cart right by the entrance so once Archie's safely sitting in the bottom, too big for the seat, we head straight for the pizza section. I know I've got enough cash to grab a few of their make-your-own kind, so I get Archie to pick a bunch of toppings and go for a meat feast and veggie hot for the two others, then we have to grab some formula and a couple things Es texted me on our way over.

Only, when we get to the baby aisle, I'm fucking stumped. "Okay Ace, help me out here. Which one does your sister have?"

Archie hums, then points at one that does look pretty familiar. "That one."

"Thanks, buddy. All right, next…baby cereal."

Scrunching up his face, Archie looks up at me. "She's got no teeth. How's she supposed to eat cereal?"

Uh. Yeah, so, hadn't thought about that. But Es wrote it on the list…

"I figure we get a mushy kind?" I guess, running a hand through my hair as another guy comes into the aisle with a couple kids. Looking at all the options, I spot one that I think could work. "Hey, what about this one? Porridge is sof—"

"Archie! Hi, it's me, Henry!"

Little flip-flops clack on the tile as the kid not confined to the other cart runs over, and I feel myself smiling a little when Archie gets up on his knees to grin right back at this kid—Henry.

Wait…his teacher said his new buddy's name is Henry, right?

Looking up at me, Henry flashes huge dimples and sticks a hand out. "Hi! I'm Henry, Archie's buddy at school. You're his dad. He told me you got him that Spiderman backpack and you cuss a lot like my dad and—"

"Dude, slow your roll, holy crap." The guy, Henry's dad I'm guessin', hurries his ass over to slap a hand over his kid's running trap. It's obvious right away where Henry gets the dimples. His dad's pop as the toddler in the cart starts parroting 'holy cwap' while his baby sister gnaws on a chew toy in the seat next to him.

I've got a few of those at home for Charlotte, and according to Es, they're teethers not chew toys.

"I'd apologize for him but honestly, he gets it from me. Emmett McCarty."

Shaking the hand Emmett sticks out, I introduce myself and hold my cart so Archie can climb out to chat with his pal, no nerves on his face for once, a rush of pride rolling through me. "And you're good, no apology necessary. I actually need to thank your boy. I think he stuck up for Archie at school."

"Oh, Miss Lauren mentioned it. Don't worry, man. Henry lives for sticking his nose in where it's not needed. Right, buddy?"

Henry shrugs and scratches his cheek. "Mom says it's one of my special talents."

With a snort, Emmett rolls his eyes and grins at me. "Sure, that's what we'll call it."

"Can we go look at the candy, Dad? I wanna pick my own." Henry stick out a fat bottom lip and I rub my jaw to stop myself laughing.

The candy section is right at the end of this aisle—we can see it from where we're standing—so Emmett tells him, "Yes, as long as Archie's dad says 'yes' and y'all stay together."

Archie's puppy dog eyes win them an easy 'yes,' then I'm left with Emmett and Henry's younger siblings.

"So, y'all new to the area? Henry's been blabbing about Archie non-stop since he got home yesterday but he hasn't said where y'all are from."

Reaching up to rub my jaw to hide my smile, I realize Emmett wasn't lying about Henry inheriting his chatter from him. Choosing my words carefully, I decide this stranger doesn't need my life history.

Funny story actually, Emmett, I didn't know Archie or his sister even existed until a month ago. Yeah, ain't that something? Anyway, their mom got shot in the head, so now they live with me and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. Pretty sure I'm screwing this up big style, but ya know, it's all good in the hood.

"Nah, I've lived here for years now. Archie and his sister just came to live with me full-time though, so I had to get him enrolled."

"I got ya. Well—"

"Daaaaaddy, I wan'out!" The toddler whines, flopping over the side of the cart like he thinks he can slither out.

"We're goin' home, Dale, hold on." Emmett rests one hand on his son's shoulder to keep him in the seat and fishes a card from his back pocket, holding it out toward me; I give it a quick glance and realize it's a party invite. "Lucky I had a couple spares, huh. Henry's birthday party is on Sunday, y'all should come along. A bunch of the kids from their class will be there so you can meet some of the other parents, too."

Henry and Archie run back up to us then, and Henry beams, arms full of candy, as he tells me there's gonna be a bouncy castle and a clown.

"That sounds…" like the last fucking thing on Earth I wanna spend my weekend doing "...great. You wanna go, Ace?"

Archie licks his lips, sniffs, and nods, looking everywhere but at me. I'm not sure if he's nervous about the party full of strangers or being put on the spot. "Ca-can we? Th-that sounds f-f-fun." Poor kid.

"Sure we can." Squeezing his shoulder gently, I flash Emmett a smile and nod. "We'll be there. Thanks."

"You got it, man. All right, let's get outta here. See ya later, guys!"

Once the McCartys are out of sight and earshot, I drop into a crouch and duck my head a li'l to catch Archie's eye. He's shifty, shuffling on his feet with his fist wrapped tight around a sucker. My chest squeezes and my stomach knots as I realize he's probably figured out money's tight by now and didn't bother grabbing handfuls like Henry. I only needed a quick glance at Emmett in his chino pants and clean white polo to realize that his family doesn't have that issue. "Talk to me, Ace. You wanna go to the party? We don't have to."

"No! N-no, I w-wanna go." He chews on his lip, blows a big breath up at his hair hanging over his forehead, and finally huffs. "B-but I'm ne-nervous."

Yeah that's pretty obvious, buddy.

"That's okay, everyone gets nervous sometimes. You got this, though. You know the kids that are gonna be there, they go to school with you, and if you wanna leave, we'll just leave. Okay?"

He scrunches his nose and his shoulders loosen up a little. "We c-can do that?"

"Hell yeah, we can. We'll go for a bit, eat some cake, jump on the bouncy castle, and as soon as you wanna go, we'll go. Okay?"

I skip telling him that if it were up to me, we'd go for five minutes and bail. That's probably not gonna help.

Flashing a small, relieved grin, Archie nods. "All right."

Relieved we seem to be past that hurdle, I straighten up, grab the first baby porridge I see, and suggest we hightail it outta here.

- banks -

"This is…a lot."

Glancing at Archie beside me a few days later, I can't help but grin. "You got that right, buddy."

The house in front of us looks like a party store threw up all over it, a giant rainbow-colored balloon arch over the door, streamers hanging from every window, and a huge sign reading "Happy Birthday Henry!" standing in the front yard on wooden spikes. It's easily as tall as me.

When I told Es about being invited to this party, she acted like it was the best thing ever. Right now, I can think of at least ten things I'd rather be doing.

I'm about two seconds away from bailing when a woman and a little girl come rushing up the sidewalk, a big gift bag swinging from the mom's hand.

"Hi Archie," the girl says, flashing him a wide, gap-toothed smile, red braids hanging over her shoulders, dress twirling around her ankles

"Uh, h-hi, Siobhan," Archie mumbles, stepping closer to me.

I fight a grin and dip my chin at the mom. "Hi. Edward Masen."

"Maggie Scott." She looks between me holding a drooling baby and her daughter grabbing Archie by the hand to drag him into the house of horrors, curiosity the overriding vibe I'm getting from her. "I've seen you at the school a couple of times, but I always seem to miss you before you leave. It's great to finally meet you. Siobhan mentioned a new little boy in her class. I'm afraid that's something of a novelty around here." She shows off perfectly straight white teeth with a little laugh, nodding toward the kids heading inside; Archie throws me a pleading 'save me' look over his shoulder and I guess Maggie notices it, too, because she offers to show me around, obviously having been here before.

Grateful, I juggle Charlotte and the gift I got Esme to pick out and wrap for me, following Maggie into the house. The crazy decor continues inside, balloons everywhere and kids too. I almost tread on one running through the hall with a stick of cotton candy in one hand and a cup of what I'm guessing is soda in the other. The red liquid splashes over my sneakers and I grunt at the "sorry, mister!" the kid rushes out.

Tightening my hold on Charlotte, I pray Archie decides he wants to leave soon. I'm already done.

"You've met the McCartys, I'm guessing?"

"Oh, yeah. Uh, Emmett, right?" I'm distracted, only half listening to her talking about how amazing he and his wife are, my attention diverted by everything around me. There are professional family pictures hanging on the walls, Emmett and the kids and a fiercely stunning blonde. There's even a golden retriever sitting at their heels or running between the two boys in a couple of 'em, go figure. My skin itches as I compare this place to the trailer Archie and Charlotte are stuck livin' in.

I mean, it doesn't compare.

Not even a little.

I'm scared to touch anything, knowing I'll never be able to afford to replace it. Charlotte's grabby paws suddenly seem like even more of a risk than usual; thank fuck she doesn't crawl yet. She's usually quite happy to just be held, so I'll keep her away from everything. We pass a huge living room with a couple kids sprawled across plush couches, and a dining room which seems to have been designated the gift spot, the table covered end-to-end in colorful packages. I quickly step in and set ours with them, hurrying to catch up with Maggie who hasn't stopped running her mouth since we stepped foot inside.

I trail after her into the kitchen, raking a hand through my hair. It's easily bigger than my entire trailer, shiny appliances and fancy marble countertops all over. A couple of women are unwrapping big packs of burgers, and another pokes her head in to announce that the barbecue is ready.

One of the women looks up and her eyes find mine. I pause, recognizing her instantly as Emmett's wife, but she beams. "Hi! You must be Edward. I just met your son. Henry's going to be so happy y'all made it!"

"Uh, hi. I'm sorry, I don't know your name…"

She laughs and quickly washes her hands in the huge sink in the middle of an even bigger island, rounding it to pull me into a hug. It takes me a few seconds to respond, awkwardly patting her on the back and sharing a wide-eyed look with Charlotte. She blows a spit bubble and shoves a pudgy fist in her mouth, earning herself a round of "awww"s from the women around us. She's still got rosy cheeks but thankfully she seems to be feeling a ton better. Her fever is gone and she's back to her loud, smiley self.

"Rosalie McCarty. I'm Emmett's wife, Henry's mom—and Dale's and Lily's. Come on, I'll show you out to where the men are all hiding." Looping her arm through mine, she coos at Charlotte. "You are just precious, yes you are! How old?"

"Um, five months." Bouncing her a little, I get a smile out of her. "Your youngest is around the same age, right? Or, she looked it."

"Yeah, that's right. Lily just turned seven months." She points over at a couple of older women on lawn chairs, the baby I saw on Friday bouncing on one of their laps, her giggles traveling easily across the yard to us on the deck. "I don't think she's been put down even once in that time. She's spoiled rotten."

I grin, the tone of Rosalie's voice telling me she's not the least bit mad about it.

"Ah, and here's the main culprit…"

"Edward, my man!" Emmett appears out of nowhere, slapping a hand on my shoulder before planting a kiss on his wife's cheek. He's wearing a floral apron and has a smudged butterfly painted on his cheek. Courtesy of the woman painting kids' faces over in the corner of the yard, I'm guessin'. "Come meet some of the other dads."

Other dads. Other, 'cause I'm also one.

When will I feel like it?

Rosalie hands me off to her husband with a reminder to "play nice," winking at me before she heads back inside.

Steeling myself, I follow Emmett over to the guys gathered around the grill area at the end of the deck, glancing over at Archie bouncing on the bounce house with Henry, Siobhan, and a bunch of other kids. I don't want to stand here shooting the shit with a bunch of guys I don't know and he's my only out.

But I can't give him a real house or cute family photos on the walls, and I couldn't throw a party like this if I spent ten years saving. I can't give him the one thing he wants, and needs, the most—his mom.

So the least I can do is let him enjoy this.

- banks -

I actually end up not hating it.

The guys Emmett is hanging with around the grill are all decent company. All of them belong to one or more of the kids running, screaming, and bouncing around the yard, and when a beer is shoved into my hand by one of them, I relax and give in to it. A couple times, moms come over to introduce themselves. I recognize some from the school, one in particular. Carmen, I think she says her name is. As soon as she goes away, Emmett grins and warns me not to let her get her claws in, the other guys laughing along. She's got a reputation, I guess. But I've got no intention of letting anyone get their claws into me.

Keeping my attention split between the conversations around the grill and Archie on the bounce house gets easier the longer I'm there, especially when Charlotte passes out over my shoulder, one less distraction.

When one of the guys starts talking about their last golf trip, I kinda tune out, eyes roaming the yard as I finish my beer and drop the bottle into the recycling tub near the doors. I spot Archie with Henry getting their faces painted and can't help but smile when he turns back around and I see half his face has been painted like Spiderman.

Quickly pulling out my cell, I zoom in and snap a picture, sending it to Es and Carl in the family group chat my sister set up.

When I close the chat, I realize I missed a message earlier.

Hey Mase need u 2 hook me up with Big C this wknd

"Fuck," I whisper, hitting delete.

There's no place for that shit now. Shifting blow was great when I didn't have DCFS sniffin' around the trailer every couple weeks. Like Tan and my other friends, that part of my life before the kids is creeping closer and starting to push at the door I've tried to keep between me and it.

Charlotte shifts, turning her head to tuck it into my neck, and I couldn't feel more like a sack of shit than I do.

"E-Edward, l-look who's here!"

My head pops up, face still set in a wicked frown I'm sure, but it drops when I find Archie tugging the last person I expected to see here toward me.

Any guesses?