Chapter 23
They sat facing each other in silence. Melanie wished she knew what Carly was thinking. The look in her eyes were like a basilisk's stare; icy and unyielding.
"I…" she took a deep breath. "I'm glad you agreed to sit down with me like this."
Silence.
"This is not how I wanted to begin. If you can just get past what Victor told you…"
"What do you want from me, exactly?"
She's speaking to me, finally!
" Another chance." Melanie blurted out. "I know that makes me a hypocrite. I've got no right to ask you for anything after the way I treated you. But it's taken me 5 years to live with my actions. And I've waited all this time for you to come back and tell you how sorry I am for everything. I do need you, please."
"You really think what happened can ever be swept under the rug? Just like that?" Carly asked quietly.
"I was angry, I lashed out…"
"At me. Me, who who was ready strangle Phillip Kiriakis for what he and Chloe did. Or better yet, Caroline Brady for the mess she created. But no, I had to take the fall for everything, branded a liar and what else."
"If I could take those words back I would… really I would!"
"We both know it was more than just words. You disowned me."
Melanie bit her lip, blinking back tears.
"You made up your mind. Then you suddenly changed it. It was always a constant worry, that you would change your mind about me after we manage to bond. One minute I was worthy. Next moment something happens and I'm pushed away. What am I supposed to think about this right now?"
"That I'm sincere." Melanie whispered.
Carly swallowed and turned away.
"Mum…"
Carly shook her head. "I can't deal with this right now. This is just too much."
"When exactly will you be ready?" Melanie exclaimed. "It's like you want to keep punishing me! Do I have to wait five more years to finally get to you or remain left out in the cold while you let Nicky back in your life or pretend the twins are your only children?"
Carly glared at her.
"Let out in the cold? So you finally know how it feels like, don't you? The people you love so much turning their backs on you. Did I give you away? Yes. Was it willingly? No. It was either letting my little baby go or watch Lawrence's fingers grip her neck until he drew her life away before my very eyes. Did I sleep that night? No. I spent the whole night crying my eyes out, wondering if I would ever see my baby again. How do you think it felt, my child taken away from me, TWICE in a lifetime? How do you think it felt to watch your daughter chose another woman over you, after everything she went through to find her and make up for the lost years?"
"We were both victims…"Melanie pleaded.
"We were. The only difference is… I didn't let it define me to the point I would be so cruel."
Melanie sprang to her feet as Carly got up. "Mum, please!" She blocked her path. "Five years ago, words were said and mistakes were made. The moment I found out you were hurt, my first thought wasn't pity or a sudden sense of duty. It was regret, pure regret." she swallowed. "I guess that's why you sent me away that night. I guess I… I assumed you would let what I did just slide, like you always did and I had no right to do that."
"No, you had no right." Carly said, bitterly.
"Mum…"
Carly shook her head. "I spent years agonising over you. I tried and tried to get you to start a new chapter with me. I thought I finally had that after Bo made his choice. I said to myself, I still have my little girl at least. But thanks to three diabolical women, you then made your choice. I meant nothing to you, until that moment."
"I was very angry, Mum. I know what I said really hurt you…"
"It did." Carly blinked as the tears came. "It did. And I never felt so alone and empty when I walked out Maggie's door. You're my daughter, Melanie. But some wounds are simply too close to the bone."
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"Stephanie sends her love, she's having a great time in Boston."
Caroline Brady nodded absently.
"Did you hear a word I said, Mum?"
Caroline sighed heavily, lowering the shawl she was knitting. "I'm sorry honey, I've got a lot on my mind."
Kayla Johnson sat in the armchair opposite her mother. "What's wrong?"
"Worry and guilt."
"Bo and Carly right?"
"You've talked to her too?"
Kayla winced. "More like a minor altercation at the hospital. I was startled to see her. The look in her eyes… she never, ever had that look in her eyes before."
"What did she say to you?"
Kayla shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "She blamed me for her fallout with Melanie. And almost getting her fired."
Caroline nodded sadly. "I can imagine how that conversation went."
"In retrospect, it wasn't my finest hour. I'm not proud of it."
Caroline didn't have to guess the reason she went after Carly in the first place. Spite, because of her involvement with Bo. She sighed again. "Amazing what we do and then justify ourselves later."
"I just said…"
Caroline raised a hand. "I've got enough guilt on my head so don't think I'm sitting in judgement of you."Quietly, she narrated her conversation with Carly at Adrienne's apartment.
"Twins… she had twins?" Kayla whispered.
"I keep imagining what they must look like. I should've handled it better, instead I sounded like an entitled, shallow old cow!" Caroline bowed her head. Kayla moved to sit next to her. "From the moment Adrienne let it slip, the guilt just kept welling up. And Bo may never see them because I was such a fool by making it worse."
Caroline's mind went back several years. Late one night, she and Carly cleaning the remaining mess left by the burglars who robbed the Fish Market. The same bastards had shot Shawn. It was the night after Carly operated on him, saving his life.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Carly replied quickly, the anxious look on her face stating the opposite.
"This is your future mother in law you're not confiding in," she chided, shaking a finger at her.
Carly's faint laugh didn't reach her eyes. "it's this police academy thing, Caroline. Between you and me, it really scares me."
"Anyone who can understand that, I think it would be me. I lost Roman once because of his work. I certainly don't want to go through that again."
"You're going to have two sons in the force, that must be frightening."
"It's not thrilling, I admit that…but I love them both enough to let them be what they have to be. I think you need to do that, Carly. Let Bo be himself."
Carly sighed, now looking wistful. "You know when I fell in love with him, I knew he was a complicated man. And I now know his ambition to join the police force is one of the things I have to deal with. I just love him so much and sometimes it overwhelms me. Now more than ever…I want a child with him."
She took the young woman's hands, squeezing them. "Well now, you concentrate on that, dear. On the good things! That will give you the courage to deal with the rest."
She smiled at Carly's hopeful grin.
"I remember how having a baby with Bo was so important to her." Kayla said, biting her lower lip.
"She wanted that child so much, born of their love. If only… if only Vivian and Lawrence didn't happen…"
"What's the point of going over all that, Mum? She would've had to deal with Hope coming back."
"They would've had Melanie eventually. And Melanie would've had both of them! And how do you know who your brother would've chosen back then? Do what you like but I'm done overlooking Carly's past with Bo or that we've got any right to judge her." Caroline said, harshly.
"Okay, okay,"Kayla said half sulkily. The thinly veiled reference to her past with her brother in law made her squirm. "It's not like we can force Carly to accept any apology. And what about Hope? She and Carly can't even be in the same room with each other, how do you think she'll react when she finds out you want to make amends with her that badly? She might see it as a betrayal."
"I only care about doing the right thing. Right now, Carly thinks all I care about are the grandchildren she's finally given me. Nicky could wake up any time soon and I need to do what I can before she leaves again."
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The look on Carly's face told Emma Villiers things didn't go well between her and Melanie. Without asking questions, she enveloped Carly in her arms and held her until she was more composed. Calling an Uber, they went to Adrienne's place.
Melanie lay on a bunk in the nurses' sleep room until Colin, alerted by another nurse, came in and held her tightly, kissing her head as she clung to him.
While Emma helped Marcus to set the table, Adrienne checking on dinner, Carly freshened up, bathing her eyes and washing her hands. As she put her coat away, she suddenly remembered the envelope she slipped inside it. Jennifer's letter to her.
Closing the door of her room, she sat on the bed and opened it, looking down at the familiar handwriting.
My darling friend,
Yes… you're still my best friend even though you don't consider me yours anymore. If you're reading this, it means you're back in Salem and I'm not there to talk to you. Please don't tear this up until you finish reading.
I made myself clear about you being with Bo. But I also I told you the day you were recovering from that damn virus that all I cared about you was your well being, not who was right- you or Hope. Back then, I should have done what no one else had the guts to do. Tell Hope she caused her problems, not blame you. And as for Bo, he shouldn't have began anything with you if he wasn't really done with Hope. Believe me, I didn't want to see you hurt. But I see now that being happy they got back together and sweeping Hope's mistakes under the rug was a betrayal to you. In the end, I failed you as a friend.
Carly Manning, please don't write me off. The memories of us sharing the same dorm at school and choosing matching friendship rings are precious to me, just like you are. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, please call me by the number at the bottom of this letter. I won't enclose an email address because I want to hear your voice. I will wait for that call every day.
I love you.
Jennifer.
Carly was still holding the letter when Marcus knocked on the door. "Dinner's ready. Coming?"
When Carly didn't move, he entered, closing the door. "That's the letter from Jennifer, right?"
She nodded, putting it back in its envelope.
"Are you okay? What happened today?" he moved to sit next to her, taking her hand.
Carly told him, leaving nothing out.
"It must have been painful, finally facing them like that."
She nodded. "Especially Melanie."
"What's holding you back?"
"Fear. She wants me back in her life now. But how do I know she's really sincere about it? That it's because she loves me, not because of her guilt? I felt bad walking away from her like that. She's my daughter, a part of me but that scene at Maggie's house… I really wish it was easy to get past."
"And Bo?"
"I can't forgive him, ever. But what will I tell Ethan and Evangeline when they finally ask about their father?"
"If you ever do that, it's going to be for them, not for Bo or the Bradys. They have the right to know where they came from. They'll understand because they have a mother who loves them very much." Marcus hugged her.
The twins' precious little faces came vividly in her mind. Carly silently prayed Marcus was right. She couldn't bear the thought of losing them.
She turned to him, smiling faintly. "You must be tired of this, putting up with my worries…"
"As if."
Marcus brushed back her hair and finally gave in to impulse, lowering his mouth on hers.