Holly

Washed in ruby hues, Malfoy Manor might have looked spectacular on any other day that wasn't Walpurgis. The facade of the four storey manor house was enflamed by the sunset, and the many windows mirrored shards of fiery light.

Holly struggled against Severus's steel grip, her heart sinking with every step bringing them closer to the handsome manor. His hands were manacles, bounding her to him as they were herded to the house by the gang of Snatchers walking in a tight circle around them.

Severus, the one she'd trusted with all her heart, had revealed his true role in her fate. And now they were caught and he was hauling her to the Dark Lord Himself.

I should have apparated. Or screamed… he could've stayed out of sight and come to get me, maybe hexed them from a distance… But it all happened so fast, and now Lord Voldemort will kill two birds with one stone.

Maybe he wouldn't have come to save me at all. He's a bloody coward, after all.

He didn't know the prophecy was about me, a small voice in the back of her mind countered weakly. But Severus would probably never have come clean on what he did, had she not overpowered his formidable Occlumency shields by accident.

The pain was raw and fresh. Her heart bled all over, spilling silently from her eyes.

How could he betray me like this? US! Mum. Dad. And now me…

He said he hadn't known and she'd seen the memories of him begging Voldemort to spare Lily; his best friend and first love. She'd seen the Dark Lord agree to give Lily a chance. Voldemort wouldn't do that for just anyone… he also wouldn't do that without a price… What else did Severus have to pay that she didn't know about? There must be a lot more he was hiding in that vault of a brain he had.

Severus didn't know Voldemort would choose us. And when he couldn't save Mum, he vowed to protect me. It was an accident, he has been trying to stop Him… he can't be guilty of Voldemort's actions. He's paid for his mistake every day of his miserable life.

But that didn't change what happened. That didn't bring her parents back from the dead. That didn't make it right. Everything she'd ever known… All the pain was because of him. Because of that damn prophecy. Mum, dad, dead because he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

He's not a hero. He's just a liar.

Holly dug her bare heels painfully into the gravel and tried to peel herself away from him, his tall mass was mechanical and unforgiving, not budging to her pushing, pulling, and clawing. There was none of the gentleness that she'd come to know in him. She looked up into his ashen face and he returned her mad gaze from a carefully composed mask, his bad hand quivering against her back, but the other holding a wand firmly to her temple. Severus looked so tense he might just spontaneously combust behind the iron curtain of cool indifference. But he was a brilliant actor, and he'd fooled her too.

'Let go of me,' Holly warned him when he pressured her to walk again. She locked her knees, refusing to move. He nudged her again, sharper this time. She pushed back hard, shoving her shoulders into his chest. But Severus caught her arms and kept her from knocking the wind out of him.

'Be. Still,' He said.

Was he even pretending? Is he just going to hand me over and walk off? He faked his death without his Master's permission, surely he knows Voldemort will kill him for that alone. Or would he be spared for bringing me in? Maybe… maybe it was ALL just a lie.

'You absolute piece of shit,' she raged, kicking him in his shin and feeling satisfied when he gasped in pain. 'I TRUSTED YOU!'

'Need some help back there, Snape?' Scabior mocked from the front of the escort. One of the other Snatchers laughed; 'Looks like she's a bit much for Severus.'

Calmly, Severus held up a hand to signal his control over the situation to them. Once again, Holly kicked him hard, trying to tear her arms away. He did not loosen his grip or fight back, he let her hurt him.

'No apology can change what I did, Holly,' he said when their bodies next collided. 'I will never be free of my actions. Of my past. I serve a life sentence because of that night at the Hog's Head. Had I known what He would do… that it was Lily - or you - He'd choose… what the prophecy would mean to Him…' Severus pleaded urgently. 'You should not forgive me, I do not deserve it.' He blinked hastily and looked away. Holly swallowed and waited for him to let her withdraw. He did not let her go, but his black gaze returned, 'Does your wand work?'

'It broke,' she said, poking him in the chest. 'Because of you.'

'You ran,' he rasped, watching the Snatchers out of the corner of his eye. 'Please. Just play along, I will find a—'

'—a way out of this?' She hissed back, 'You can't be serious. IT'S OVER, SEVERUS. You fucked up!' Her voice rose to a shout.

'Time to be a soldier, Princess.' Severus murmured through his lank black hair, stonewalling her anger. 'Hide this,' he said very softly, and she felt him lift the back of her nightdress to place Uncle Vernon's gun to her lower back and tap it with his wand, it burned her skin for a second and she realised he'd put a sticking charm on the weapon's holster. He did the same with the ring on her finger while shoving her forward to hide the motion of giving her the weapon.

'What's a gun gonna do?' She whispered through gritted teeth, 'You said it's useless!'

'Better than nothing. Let me do the talking,' Severus said. 'Remember the ring. Remember our lessons.'

A hot second later, Severus had hit her with a levitation and gagging charm, bound her with invisible ropes, and walked freely the rest of the way to the manor in the company of the Snatchers. Holly struggled and strained like an angry cat in an invisible bag. They entered black iron gates and followed a hedge-lined path to the Manor's massive front doors. Lord Voldemort was waiting for them at the top of a grand staircase. Severus and the Snatchers bowed low to him. Behind Voldemort, Draco's parents stood along with Bellatrix. Her arms folded and her stained lips were pursed with undisguised hatred, her head oscillating between Holly and Voldemort's boyish half smile.

The Dark Lord slowly descended the marble stairs, and although her scar was burning more and more with every step he took down the stairs, Holly couldn't help but roll her eyes. Why was she always dressed in pajamas?! Draped from his shoulders was a finely embroidered cloak, secured with delicate silver clasps. His dark robes were cut with a tall collar, and an eerily luminous green gem glinted at his throat. The chest of his robes was buttoned to the side in military style with the customary wide sash cinching his waist.

As Holly was set down, Severus's bonds released her body and allowed her to move. Her hands automatically went to hold the burning scar on her forehead and her legs turned to jelly when the tattooed snake also woke and roved around on her forearm. Pain blurred her world, her knees buckled, but someone pulled her upright.

Voldemort reached the bottom of the stairway with easy grace. Slow and intentional, he drew close to the pain-stricken Holly, lifted her chin with a longer finger, and smiled down at her, 'Holly Potter… right on time.'

Her head felt like it would split in half like a ripe melon. Voldemort's white face hovered close as if he would kiss her, but he only pinched her chin and delighted in her pain before looking at Severus over her head. 'You, on the other hand, are far too late,' Voldemort said, pushing Holly aside and raising his wand lazily at the Spy. 'It seemss my trust in you was misplaced. You failed me, Severuss.' The tip of his wand spat green sparks, 'You will die now.'

Severus fell to his knees, 'Forgive me, my Lord,' he pleaded, not daring to look up at his Master. 'I acted without consulting you. But it is only because I knew not if I would succeed in delivering Potter to you under the Ministry and Dumbedore's watch. I needed cover in order to bring the girl. I could not tell anyone lest Albus discover my intentions. I overstepped, and beg your mercy.' He swallowed and added softly, 'You must see that without my actions, you would not have her now.'

Voldemort cocked his head, and said simply, 'Crucio.'

Red light shot from his wand and sent Severus sprawling on the gravel, his back arching unnaturally atop the wide half-moon of his spread cloak. A silent scream stretched his lips and broke the dried blood streaking from the sides of his mouth to stain his neck and cravat.

An involuntary noise escaped Holly as she watched Severus twisting and thrashing about.

'Such a sshame you chose not to tell me you were alive,' Voldemort said when he finally ceased the torture and gazed down at his servant, gasping like a fish out of water. 'And the potion—'

Severus' body spasmed violently as he dipped his hand into a pocket and, with great difficulty, he produced a crystalline vial filled with a glowing blue liquid, 'T—the potion, my Lord, as— as r—requested,' he supported his shaking hand presenting the potion with the opposite. Strands of inky hair stuck to his pale, slick face and his chest rose and fell quickly and shallowly. Voldemort scoffed and Accioed the potion, unstoppering it to smell the contents, his slitted nostrils flaring.

That prat finished the fucking soul-transferring potion without telling me?!

'Hm. You forced me to brew one from memory you know…' he swirled the liquid around in the tiny vial. '—And despite receiving highest honours for the subject, I never had the patience for it. Yourss seem to emit more of the preferred glow the author described,' He said, vanishing the potion and resuming his stance, wand pointing at Severus's face. Another red bolt of light — and this time he screamed, the raw sound of it bringing Holly involuntary tears. She'd never heard him scream before.

When his wails got hoarse and more intermittent, Voldemort broke the spell; 'You wish me to believe this was all planned, I assume?' He asked, stalking around Severus' crumpled form. He clutched his stomach as if he would retch, hair covered his face, and he was sprawled on the upturned gravel.

It was Holly who answered: 'It's all his fault. He did this. He brought me here. He lied to me!' He paled as he looked up at her with a single, widened black eye. It made her think of a fish pulled from the water, waiting to die in the mud of a river bank.

'I believe you, witch,' The Dark Lord said, baring a row of sharp white teeth.

'Crucio,' he said again as if he didn't care what Holly had said. The black-clad spy curled into a tight ball, trying in vain to control his contorting limbs. Suddenly there was blood on the ground and in his hair, dripping from Severus' ears.

'STOP!' Holly yelled, throwing herself before Voldemort's wand and forcing him to stop the torture. 'He brought me to you, didn't he? He did what you wanted! You're going to kill him!'

Severus is a victim of Voldemort just like she was. He wasn't to be blamed for the Dark Lord's violence. He left everything for her, lying to the very end. He truly loved her, deep down she knew. She'd always known, somehow. The shame of his past didn't change this.

He gave me the gun. He's lying to survive so he can protect me. I have a weapon. I have a weapon. I have a weapon, she kept chanting as she stared up the length of Voldemort's wand.

'You would spare a man that kidnapped you?' Voldemort asked incredulously, his red eyes searching hers.

Holly looked down; 'Yes. He doesn't deserve to die. He should carry his sins. Killing him would be sparing him,' Holly studied her twisting hands next. It wasn't a lie. And she knew He could tell.

Voldemort cocked his head, smirking again. 'As you wish, Holly Potter,' He said and slipped his wand into the sash at his waist.

It was Bellatrix Lestrange who shrieked, 'He betrayed you, Master. Kill him!'

'Hush, Bella,' Voldemort snapped distractedly at the livid woman behind him. 'She's right, he will be poisoned by his sshame, I see it in his mind.' Then he turned to Severus, who was still shaking on the gravel. The blood from his ears ran down his neck, coagulating in the already bloodstained cravat. He was clutching the sides of his head, forehead screwed up with obvious pain. Is he deaf? She thought anxiously of Neville's parents who were tortured to the point of disability.

'Holly Potter ssaved your life,' the Dark Lord said softly to the heap of robes that was Severus. 'Now stand up, Severuss. You will carry her to the forest for the ritual.'

For a painful minute, Severus did nothing, perhaps he didn't hear the Dark Lord? But then, he opened his eyes and stared around at the faces above him. With great effort, he rose to his feet his body twitching oddly under the voluminous robes. Gleeful laughter at the pathetic sight of the Dark Lord's ex-right-hand man came from the small crowd of Death Eaters and Snatchers — they were enjoying the show alright.

'Come,' Voldemort said, gesturing to those of his followers positioned nearest to the manor. 'I will deal with the rest of you later,' he cast a threatening look at the Snatchers and turned to stroll across the darkening lawn toward the forest beyond the Malfoy Gardens. If the Snatchers were discontent, they were choosing not to voice it now. Perhaps the reckless torture of a member of the Inner Circle incentivised this sudden, sullen silence…

Severus stumbled to Holly, cold sweat plastering his hair to his pale skin. He picked her up with a grunt, a feverish heat radiating from him. His eyes were out of focus and thin lines of fresh blood dripped from his lips and ran down his neck to join the blood coming from his ears.

'I have failed you, Princess,' he said quietly as he trailed toward the forest behind the others, holding Holly too tightly, as if afraid he might drop her.

'Oh, Sev,' She said and swallowed a sob, trying to clean blood beneath his mouth with a clumsy palm. 'I shouldn't have run away,' she sniffed. He said nothing but spasmed involuntarily as she buried her wet face in the crook of his neck. Severus walked slowly, his usual fiery demeanour completely extinguished, his eyes glassy. Holly now cried openly as she mourned her fate; she was being carried to her doom by a lover. And there was no way out. She would have to make Voldemort kill her… She had to… There was no way she'd grow him a new body inside of hers.

In stark contrast to their private valley of desperation, most of the Death Eaters (with the exception of Bellatrix) chatted merrily amongst themselves, sniggering at Lucius when Voldemort complained at the silliness of the Malfoy Manor's anti-apparition wards. They certainly knew their Dark Lord would be in a much less torturous mood as soon as Holly Potter submitted to him once and for all. Only Bellatrix found no triumph in the situation, she hovered to Voldemort's left, arms still crossed tightly.

The party passed through a finely manicured graveyard planted with high hedges heavy with sweet-smelling white roses. A peacock with a long vibrant tail ran across the path ahead, screaming forlornly like peacocks do, 'HELP! HELP!' as if by some joke it knew Holly and Severus were waist-deep in metaphorical shit and in dire need of some help.

The forest had only just swallowed them when Voldemort led them into a small clearing dotted with ancient rune-covered slabs of dull marble. Thick carpets of red and gold leaves carpeted the floor, broken here and there by clusters of bluebells poking through at the base of the huge blocks. Holly could still smell the heady perfume of the white roses carried from the graveyard on the breeze.

Voldemort halted near the central stone, ordering the Inner Circle to don their masks and hoods. The Death Eaters stood in a circle around the central stone, waiting in silence. She recognised Wormtail, Lucius, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Yaxley, and McNair. Severus lowered Holly to the springy earth, he looked around at the masked Death Eaters and seemed to come to the conclusion that he was required to wear his as well.

He's deaf… she realised, seeing his hands shaking when he summoned the grim silver mask and disappeared beneath it, hiding the bloodstained skin and pained expression. His posture was twisted with defeat, his breath quick like that of a small animal. Lord Voldemort's torture had very clearly taken an immense toll.

Severus

The Dark Lord took Holly from him, leading her to the central stone he had seen in so many of her memories. The last of the light disappeared from the trees, and his eyes were forced to adjust to the blueish darkness. His ears rung with the pitched sound of nothing, and he wondered whether it was shock, or if his eardrums had burst with the pressure of the Cruciatus curse. He touched his neck and returned fingertips stained with blood, Severus stared at it, dazed. Severus listened hard at the buzzing, trying to pick out other sounds. Very vaguely he heard what must be voices as if he was underwater… As if the volume of everything around him had been turned down as if by a knob on a Muggle radio.

The lichen hanging from the ancient pines stirred in the wind and the moving branches should have rattled and creaked as they sang their sorrow for the witch on the stone altar. And if they did, it was too softly for Severus to hear.

Holly wore the white dress she always did in the dreams; the exact same sickening image he'd first seen in her mind when looking for the hidden dreams many moons ago. Severus shivered violently and the pitched buzzing in his ears sounded louder and louder. He swayed, doubting he could remain standing for much longer.

With an elegant wave of his wand, the Dark Lord untied the tight warrior knot Severus had made Holly this very morning and set her hair free to dance in a great cascade. He reached for it, clearly relishing in touching her at last.

Severus glanced to where Bellatrix stood next to him, vibrating with anger. She shuffled her feet as if she would intervene when Dark Lord still toyed —almost absentmindedly— with Holly's chaotic mane, reveling in its chaos, instead of seeking to control it as Severus did.

It's best tied, he thought helplessly. She fights better when it's out of her eyes.

He was speaking to her, and Severus turned his head but could not hear the quiet words above the alarm in his ears. Bella gripped the handle of her wand when Voldemort leaned in closer, pulling on the ring around her left finger. Severus waited, his decision to place a sticking charm to both the holster and ring (to prevent them from being taken from her) put to the test.

All heads then turned to Bellatrix, who was speaking. As if listening through a towel wrapped around his head, Severus listened hard.

'—Cut off the finger—!' She seemed to yell.

Of course, Bella despises Holly, loving the Dark Lord like she does.

Voldemort turned slitted red eyes to Bellatrix and she fell silent, looking down quickly. The annoyed set of his shoulders and a raised hand told Severus he'd rejected Bella's proposal of maiming the girl.

The stubby shape of Pettigrew scuffled closer and presented a velvet-wrapped fine silver crown to the Dark Lord. Voldemort placed it on Holly's wild black hair, beaming down at her. It seemed to be hurting her, judging by the way she was frowning and glistening with sweat.

Horcrux, he thought, all the dominoes flipping; the diadem was identical to the one depicted on the Dark Mark the Dark Lord gave her. He's giving the crown to her to influence her mind, his fist tightened on his wand, waiting for a gap. Only Holly and the Dark Lord left after Ravenclaw's diadem. If she dies… Will I be able to destroy the rest? A fool's errand… A suicide mission…

The Dark Lord said something to Holly and kissed the back of her hand. He then produced Severus's glowing vial of Mutatio Anima and held it to her lips. She turned her head away in defiance. The Dark Lord slapped her hard, knocking her glasses awry, the pitched buzzing suddenly sounded louder than ever, like a bomb had gone off nearby. Holly's hand went to her reddening cheek. Severus took a step forward, starting to slip his wand from the pocket of his robes.

Then the Dark Lord ducked down to kiss her hard, gripping the sides of her face to force it toward him. But Holly must have bitten his lip because the Dark Lord jerked away and said something that made her eyes widen and frown deepen even more.

I have to act, he thought desperately. But what can I do besides die first? I am no match for the Dark Lord, especially not in this… state. Who am I kidding, I've beheld death minutes ago and now I'm not much further away from the chasm. Clamping his shaking hands together behind his back, he shuddered at the ghost of the pain still lingering inside. To his great shame, he was wishing for death in the first round of the torture. Then Holly convinced the Dark Lord to spare him, and the all-consuming pain stopped. Along with the cessation, some sense was knocked back into him, and he was left shaking with adrenaline, thinking only of survival. Severus swayed dangerously on the spot again, feeling drunk. He looked around at the circle of Death Eaters, Will they mind if I throw up? But the obvious answer helped him swallow the nausea and stand straight and stiff as a pillar of black robes stirring in the breeze — a pillar that occasionally teetered on falling on its face.

Ah. So this is the end? I've wondered many times how it would come to be, who would be there… What'd be happening around me… What the last lie would have been…

Severus had always known how he'd die — he'd known that it would be pathetic and in vain — it was the variables he was most interested in. However, of all the scenarios he imagined through almost a decade of spying, this exceeded even the most morbid expectations of Severus Snape. If the Dark Lord was going to kill the witch and be done with it, it would be one thing, it would merely shatter his entire world… But rape, forced pregnancy, slavery… that was entirely another… I will escape, turn back time, and kill the Dark Lord as a child. Maybe some undiluted essence of nightshade in his pumpkin juice.

Wishful thinking Severus… IT'S OVER, he heard Holly's voice echo.

The Dark Lord was speaking to Holly, a hand folding slowly, almost sensually, around her neck. She choked under the pressure. A soft drizzle of rain started, threatening to soak Holly's white dress and reveal the weapon on her back. The Dark Lord took out his wand and held it to her chest, 'One last chance' and, 'Imperio' was all Severus could see the Dark Lord's mouth form.

She drank the potion almost obediently after that, looking Severus in the eye over the shoulder as she did so. She pulled a face at the taste. Then the Dark Lord leaned close to Holly again, his hands on either side of her on the stone altar. For the second time, Severus started to remove his wand from his sleeve, this time pretending to be adjusting a cufflink and praying no one would notice.

If there was to be no diversion, he'd have to die creating one.

Then all the heads in the circle turned to his general direction — even the Dark Lord had paused his monologue. His heart stopped beating and he froze, an inch of the handle was already resting on his palm…

But to his great relief, they seemed to be staring past him and when Severus turned to see what they were looking at, he was met by the sight of a sobbing Bellatrix. '— Use me —,' she cried, loud enough for Severus to catch a few words through his bleeding, ringing, ears. The sound was oddly distorted, like she was standing a mile away but at the same time, it hurt and made him wince. Bella now moved closer to the altar, her curved wand drawn. Severus gripped the handle of his wand and kept still as a statue.

All eyes were glued to Bella because she was now opening her robes to reveal a naked torso. It was a strange sight, given that she was still wearing the carved silver Death Eater mask.

The Dark Lord turned away from Holly with a scowl and Severus puzzled the muffled answer together by intently watching his lips as he spoke: 'I gave — courtesy — explanation, Bella. You — cease whining.'

'— not her!' Bellatrix shook her head vehemently, inching closer to her Master, her large breasts heaving with emotion.

Clearly annoyed, the Dark Lord barked an order at Lucius.

Bella's eyes, concealed within the mask's shadows, gleamed and she quickly assumed a dueling posture, brandishing her wand as Lucius stepped up to fulfill the Dark Lord's command to remove her from his sight, no doubt. With the petulance of a scorned schoolgirl, Bellatrix forcefully stamped her foot and sliced her wand through the air, casting a hex that struck Lucius squarely in the stomach and caused him to collapse to the ground with a pained groan. The cloaked figure of Narcissa hurried to her husband's side.

It was the Dark Lord who stunned Bellatrix, sending her keeling over backwards onto the forest floor.

The Dark Lord spoke again, this time to Wormtail who then rushed to Bella. Voldemort's soft voice was distorted and strangely disembodied; 'Remove them,' Severus read on his lips.

Then Holly said something too, waving a hand toward the path… surely she wouldn't have everyone sent away?

Was she trying to save him again?

The Dark Lord smiled to the side, saying something at Severus over his shoulder.

Severus hesitated.

'GO,' the Dark Lord said loudly at him, his voice raising as if he spoke to an imbecile. The sound was still very soft, barely audible. And before he could move a muscle, Voldemort was inside Severus' mind: 'Perhaps you cannot hear me, Severus?' He said, clearly and from everywhere at once. 'Or are you looking for a final mercy by my hand?'

'No, Master,' Severus heard himself say out loud, even as the Dark Lord's presence left his thoughts. The spy stared at his muddy boots for a second before deciding: It's not the right time, I'll be no match for him head-on. Then he left like a dog with its tail between its legs, glancing back at Holly still perched on the altar.

Severus slunk down the forest path behind Yaxley and McNair, feeling desolate, dazed, and decidedly deaf. He could hear talking, but make out no individual words.

I have to go back, he thought, looking back over his shoulder only to see hundreds of dark trees now shielding the clearing from view. The altar pulled at him like a magnet, screaming at Severus to do something both stupid and brave — to die in an outnumbered duel… To just go back…

Up in the path he could see Wormtail levitating the stunned Bellatrix some distance above the ground. Next to him walked Narcissa, supporting Lucius who was hobbling beside her. A few minutes later, Severus emerged from the trees and joined the others in the Malfoy family graveyard. Collapsing against a grave adorned with cherubs atop an extravagant jade headstone, pain surged through him once more. Severus doubled over as the agonising aftereffects of the Dark Lord's Cruciatus wracked his body and caused all his muscles to contract. Panting behind the gravestone, he pulled out a Wiggenweld potion from his coat and knocked it back, wishing it could make the ringing in his ears cease. Severus turned to the cluster of Death Eaters, listening intently to gauge the extent of the damage to his hearing. Masks removed, their lips moved as they were talking heatedly amongst themselves. But it was as if Muffliato was cast on the entire world. Severus could hear, but as if through jelly. With a twinge of anxiety, he realised that he was focusing more on their mouths to attempt to decipher the faint sounds.

Pretending to duck for a bout of sick, he dropped back down behind the gravestone and shook the invisibility cloak from Holly's bag, swinging it over his shoulders and creeping toward the trees. He chanced a look back as he passed back through the saplings and toward the forest: Bellatrix was revived and now brandishing her wand at McNair, presumably for barring her way back to her Lord, seeing as he stood planted squarely between her and the forest path. While everyone seemed distracted either by Bella or Holly, Severus grasped the opportunity to escape toward the latter. He was careful not to trip over the cloak or let his feet stick out when he stumbled back down the forest path, wishing he could light his wand to stop mashing his shins painfully against tree roots and jutting rocks. He pressed on, listening all the while to the almighty alarm going off in his head.

Holly

They were alone. The leaves on the tops of the trees rustled in the wind, the forest moving as if it were a giant sleeping beast stirring in its sleep. Voldemort stood with his head down, facing away from her.

He drew a deep breath and said, 'Peace at last.'

He faced her then, his robe fanning with the movement and the luminous green broach on his throat glinting in the low light.

'Why is it we always meet amongst altars and gravestones?' He asked, leaning casually against the side of the altar.

It seemed a genuine question. But he continued rather unperturbed when Holly did not answer. 'I've thought about this moment for a long time, Holly Potter. I imagined what we'd say and do… And you know what? Every scenario ends the same way.' He nodded toward the great flat surface of the giant stone table. 'With you, bent over this altar.'

Holly snorted, 'Oh yeah?' But she couldn't help but believe him… There was no way out now. She was either going to die or be captured here. 'I'd rather die,' she hissed at Voldemort.

To her astonishment, Voldemort laughed, the high, cold voice ringing out across the dark clearing. He was clearly in a very good mood. And she hated it.

'Shut up,' she said through gritted teeth. This was the worst moment of her life. He wasn't going to be enjoying it if she could help it. 'Shut. Up.'

And for a moment he did, casting her a triumphant look and spinning his wand between his fingers. 'Since it does not matter what we say, we might as well just get you—' he waved his wand lazily at her, and the nightdress dissolved into thin air—'out of that dress.'

Holly's hands rushed forward to cover the most important bits. The cold night air assaulted her bare skin, and the stone beneath her bottom suddenly ice cold. 'How DARE you!' She gasped, blushing furiously.

'Are you a virgin, Holly Potter?' Lord Voldemort asked.

'I'm much more than you deserve,' Holly said.

'I shall turn the other cheek and offer you another opportunity: are you, or are you not, a virgin? Remember that you cannot lie to me, witch,' he said, now close enough to brush her crow-black hair from her scar, 'Lord Voldemort always knows.' Her scar burned at the proximity.

'I'm not a virgin.'

'Indeed,' He nodded to himself, 'Tell me. Who was it? Just months ago, you were still intact.'

'Oh get off it,' She snorted. 'What's it matter? I reckon experience would help me considering what you've got planned for me.'

'Used,' he suggested casually. Holly bit her tongue. The audacity. Is Voldemort lecturing her about morals? It was laughable. 'Who would've known Voldemort's fucking old-fashioned. This isn't the 1800s, Tom,' she snarled, throwing caution to the wind. His face fell with annoyance.

'Who was it? ' Lord Voldemort asked, as if not hearing a word she'd said.

'You can't handle the truth,' she said.

'Who?'

She looked away, pushing her hand harder between her legs in a vain attempt to hide herself from him. His body was colder than the dead, no heat radiated from him even when he was this close. Cold, like a snake.

'Why must it always dissolve to threats?' He slid a long finger down her cheek, watching her hand digging deeper between her thighs. 'There is no sense in fighting. Tell me who it was,' he said, staring her down with those burning eyes.

'Why don't you go ahead and take it from me,' she hissed in parsletongue, pulling herself up to her full height. She knew she was being foolish. She didn't care.

Without so much as muttering a spell, his wand, resting at her neck, flared brilliant white and he leaned even closer, his heatless body pressing against her. Suddenly, she was snapped into her own mind, losing sight of the clearing, Lord Voldemort, and the strange stones. His force was like that of a tsunami breaking against her, she stood no chance. Doubt and fear flooded her as Voldemort rummaged through her brain at will.

Memories of the first train ride to Hogwarts, Uncle Vernon giving her a hiding, Hagrid buying her an ice cream in Diagon Alley, Cho kissing her, Cedric — Oh no you don't, she thought when he forced up a vivid memory of her clutching both Cedric's body and the portkey that was the Triwizard cup. The anger pulled her back to her countless training sessions and she steeled her mind, focusing on calming her stream of thoughts.

'Who?' The cold, non-corporeal voice hissed. Voldemort's Legilimency was stronger than anything she'd experienced with Severus. His pressure increased and, desperate, she threw all her energy into thinking of Ron.

'Liar,' his voice reverberated through her. He pushed even more, like that of a potter mercilessly working clay.

'Who had you?' Holly heard all around her.

The stormy afternoon in the Gryffindor Quidditch Changing Rooms bobbed up suddenly. She forced it back quickly, trying to hide it by focusing on flying her Firebolt, as if it was any regular old Quidditch memory.

He steered the image of the lockers back, clearly having detected the flicker of panic. Holly could feel his delight as he held the image fast, not budging, not letting her think of anything else. Voldemort held her mind fast with what felt like a dozen steel pliers.

The wooden interior of the building in the bottom of the pitch formed around her, the long bench in the middle. It creaked in the wind as a foul storm raged outside the cosy room. It smelled of disuse and the log fire burning in the circular hearth. Severus was getting rid of his flying gear, his breeches were tucked into high boots. His hair was tied back and spots of pink coloured his carved cheeks.

The only time he ever dressed differently was for Quidditch.

For a second that contained an eternity, there was silence, a total absence of sound. Then, a mirthless bark of laughter.

SEVERUS?… I might never have believed you, had I not witnessed this… this disgrace…

Lord Voldemort pulled from her mind, leaving her reeling with pain and confusion. It took her a few seconds to realise he was holding her face up at him. He looked satisfied and livid all at once.

'I told you — YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH,' Holly said, despite feeling exhausted by the mental jog that is Occlumency.

'I will kill him when I see him next,' he said softly. 'You cannot save him again.'

'He's a better man than you'll ever know,' she said, making a firm decision to get the gun rather than shielding her chest, so with great difficulty, she slid the hand behind her back to uncle Vernon's revolver. It's not as if he hasn't seen her tits before. And at least he'd be a bit distracted, she thought. Just as predicted, Voldemort's eyes slid down just when she touched the holster of the weapon, relieved it was still in the same place. He didn't seem to notice her hand disappearing into the mass of hair, and for once she was immensely grateful for the mass of unruly hair.

'The man who just handed you over to me?' He asked, disbelief evident in his tone. 'Oh, indeed. What an illustrious hero he is. But you see, I am not just an ordinary man. I have ascended beyond mere humanity. And tonight, together, you will help me achieve a body that is more powerful than ever before.'

Should've practiced with the gun, Holly thought bitterly, the shape of the weapon foreign and too heavy in her palm. She carefully tested the strength of the hammer mechanism at the back and missed her wand intensely, wishing she'd put it away before hitting Severus.

'Looks to me like you need your manhood back,' she said scathingly and mostly to cover the sound of cocking the gun behind her back. No one was coming to save her. Not Severus. Not Dumbledore. No one. Her arm shook with the effort of the awkward movement.

'You will soon discover me man enough for this,' he pried her legs apart even though she tried to clamp them together. Holly fought to keep one hand at her back, beneath her hair, and gripping the gun — her last chance. She could feel his hardness pressing against her knee. He was ready.

This is it, she thought, her mind screaming and scar rippling with pain. He's right, it's stupid to make it worse by fighting him. What's a bullet against a wand? I'll just piss him off, and he'll hex me senseless. But she couldn't relax, she just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened to Severus… what Voldemort had done to him.

'Come, come, Holly. It's not as though you denied a Death Eater entry before,' Voldemort said, waving his wand and making invisible ropes bind her knees, pulling them apart. 'This should be your greatest honour.'

It was now only her hand keeping him from her sex. He swatted it away irritably, 'You don't have to be conscious for this, you know.' She pulled at the revolver at her back, removing it from the holster stuck to her back.

Now or never.

'Fuck. You,' she said, bringing the gun into view at her waist. Voldemort glanced down at it with bemusement, and before there was time to react, Holly pulled the trigger, closing her eyes at the very last moment.

BANG!

The sound was deafening, leaving her ears ringing. She opened her eyes. Voldemort stumbled back, clutching his shoulder where a patch of glistening dark blood was blossoming rapidly through the handsome robes. Holly snatched up his wand from the moss and ducked behind the altar, putting as much distance between herself and the wounded Dark Lord as possible.

'You dare!—' Voldemort shrieked, raising his bloodied hands as if cupping an invisible ball. Moments later there was a rapidly growing sphere resembling lightning crackling between his palms. His countenance was a mask of unbridled fury and he stared intently at her as he created the ball of energy. Just as Severus had said, Voldemort seemed oblivious to the bloody gunshot wound. Holly's hair started standing on end as static energy gathered rapidly in the air. Dropping the gun and choosing in its stead the wicked wand, she ran for the nearest massive ritual stone. She ducked just in time to evade the crackling orb of pure white energy blasting her way. It made a loud WOOOOOOM sound as it traveled through the air and obliterated most of the altar she was hiding behind.

THE WAND! Her lizard brain howled at her. THE RING! NOW!

She rolled away to the next stone and stood up, raising his own horrible wand at him. Voldemort was snarling and cradling yet another ball of rapidly forming lightning. Holly took a step sideways, trying to stay out of the ball's trajectory — and made contact with a solid, hard, and invisible shape.

Abruptly, Severus' disembodied head materialised, hovering eerily in the air before the rest of his shadowy form emerged as he cast aside the invisibility cloak. For a moment, Holly thought he must've been a ghost, or, more accurately, a fresh zombie. His skin appeared pallid and lifeless, while the bruised eyes and smears of dried blood covering his face made him look practically undead. Fresh blood wetted his tousled hair by his ears.

If Severus wasn't dead already, he was close to it.

'YOU!' Voldemort snarled as Severus ripped the diadem from Holly's head and threw it into the thick ferns at the edge of the clearing. 'LOCKHEART!' Severus roared at Holly over the rushing sound of the crackling orb of destruction, his voice hoarse and his wand still raised at the Dark Lord. In perfect unison, Severus put a steady hand on Holly's shoulder and threw a hex at Voldemort just as Holly cried; 'Obliviate!'

As she had rehearsed countless times, a gleaming silver arrow streaked forth, only this time from Voldemort's bone-white wand — whose wood felt warm and eager somehow… maybe because it was the brother to her own wand?

But to her great horror, the spell stopped dead in the air a thumb away from Lord Voldemort's forehead while Severus' curse disappeared into the mass of energy he was creating, and causing the orb of energy to die instantly between his hands. Holly's spell quivered and glowed brightly as if held fast in the air by an invisible fist. Voldemort was actively thwarting the spell to make contact, is it a shield? She'd never seen anything like it before…

Holly was still staring when she felt it, her brain jolting with something like whiplash moments before Voldemort's icy voice rang out; 'Legillimens.'

No defenses she mustered could thwart his forceful advance; it was like trying to rein in a galloping horse with sheer willpower alone. She started seeing more and more visions of her past. At first, she thought it was strange that Voldemort kept calling forth memories of her earliest childhood, but soon a pattern emerged — Lily repeating words to Holly like 'mama' and 'papa', 'cat' and 'nap' — He's going to damage me permanently! She realised, trying to fold into herself like an armadillo as his mental trespass deepened. Top to bottom he went, meticulously working through her life in fast-forward as he looked for the memories she had of learning the most basic sounds and then words. And then he started erasing them, one by one, so that she would be left helpless and useless. A shell of a person. Unable to communicate or do magic.

Holly screamed in agony when he started plucking at the core memories he discovered first as if they were weeds and he a violent gardener. She tried throwing him off with all her might, but Voldemort only laughed at her latest feeble attempt. He crushed into the wealth of keystone memories of her learning how to talk, making them slip away from her reach like an eel or wet bar of soap might escape her grasp.

Lily was singing a nursery rhyme as she put Holly to sleep in a crib, then she was shaping her mouth to show baby Holly how to say the word 'DA—D—Y'. Holly tossed around desperately trying to escape the rip current of thoughts…

The stone, she remembered and brought it fully to her mind: imagining herself turning it over and over in her mind's eye, admiring the blood-red gem from all angles.

Then she felt Severus' presence inside her as he immediately joined her in the fray, swelling in size until he was shielding her from Voldemort. For a second, Holly felt the Dark Lord's surprise at their dual presence and braced herself when he lashed into Severus like giants fighting — this was real Occlumency masters battling for life and death.

Then He spoke to them: You're weak, Severus. Dying. Did you think you could rebel against me? Die. Traitor! Then he laughed and bored into Severus' weakened defenses with renewed vigour and she could see his grip slip as he very slowly started to give in to more and more of the Dark Lord's force.

Voldemort was right, Severus was very weak; normally his presence was defined and clear, but now it had somehow… unraveled. Nevertheless, Severus kept the force that was the Dark Lord at bay by absorbing his advances and at the same time, feeding life force to Holly to energise and enable her. She took a deep breath and let every fibre of her being be filled with the grief she felt for her murdered parents — taken from her before she could ever hope to know them. It was a dam broke inside her and she rode the wave to every corner of her being. They were thoughts she'd have when staring up at the ceiling every night: James and Lily Potter were taken before they could know anything but war and despair. They were taken because they were both powerful and because they were in the way. Her technique was similar to how she'd successfully overthrown Severus earlier today — only now inversed into her own mind where Voldemort was currently wreaking havoc.

Holly could feel the Dark Lord recoil at the strength of an orphan's anguish and felt bolstered with fresh resolve. Next, she thought of how Severus' torture made her feel unbearable helplessness and panic. Then she thought of Sirius' twelve long years shut up in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. Little first-year Ginny laying dying in the Chamber of Secrets. Neville's parents not remembering their own son. Mr. Diggory holding Cedric's limp body in his arms. The injustice and grief that filled her was so great that she felt Voldemort's piercing presence growing fainter.

Within minutes she realised she was alone in her head again. She could feel no alien presence inside her, no Dark Lord, no Severus. There was only silence and so she opened her eyes, looking at a blurry, grey sky. Raindrops fell into her eyes and she blinked slowly. It took her a while to realise the blurriness of the sky was because her glasses had fallen off. She felt around her on the mossy earth until she found her spectacles and pressed the thin golden frame onto her nose. Holly sat bolt upright and her stomach flipped like she'd just missed a step. Lord Voldemort was sitting down too, staring vacantly at Holly as if she'd just fallen from the sky. Then his attention turned to his own hands and he studied them intently as if seeing them for the first time.

'Where am I?' He asked, seemingly more to himself than Holly. Next Voldemort touched the wound on his shoulder with and frowned at the sight of the glistening blood.

Holly gaped at him another moment before she spun around to find Severus sprawled on the moss just behind where she'd been standing minutes before. His mouth was slightly ajar and long black hair was slung across his face like black, wet ropes. Holly dragged herself to his side, pulling up swathes of moss as she went. She reached him quickly and twisted the front of his robe into her hands, saying his name loudly. But his name got caught in her throat and left her lips only as an animalistic howl. Holly tried again, SEV! She said but only heard a hoarse shriek escape her. It was like her mouth couldn't understand her frantic brain. Like she couldn't remember how to talk. She clapped a hand over her mouth and moaned his name again — but being as successful at it as a dog might be at saying its' owner's name. She pressed her ear against his chest, listening hard for a heartbeat but only heard her own swollen heart hammering in her ears.

'SEV!' Holly attempted again but only managed another moan. She shook Severus hard enough to make his head loll to the side. His sunken eyes were still closed and his body was slack as a voodoo doll.

He came back. He came to get me. He gave too much…

Holly pulled his limp head into her naked lap. Fat tears fell on Severus' pale face and mingled with the fine raindrops that were falling. Soon rivets were washed into the dried blood crusted beneath his mouth and ears. 'Please. Don't leave me…'