*** Only 9 more chapters in this story then we move on to the next one. I'm excited. Anyway, here's a glimpse into Stiles' head. Hope you enjoy. ***

SONG: I've spent all of the love I saved…We were always a losing game…Small town boy in a big arcade…I got addicted to a losing game…All I know…Loving you is a losing game ~ Arcade by Duncan Laurence

Chapter 20

Stiles:

I had no destination in mind when I left the school. But I knew that I had to get out of there before I did or said something else I regret. I don't regret hitting Mitchell repeatedly, at all. He had it coming. But telling Malia to stay away from me, I was angry, and it just slipped out. As soon as I said it I wanted to take it back but the image of Theo touching her…

My hands tightened around the steering wheel, and I winced holding up my right hand, it was swollen and bruised and a bit bloodied. Taking a right at the next street I turned around and headed for the hospital. The cherry on top of this craptastic day. I don't know how long I sat there staring into space before I got out and went in. but a bit of luck was with me when I didn't see Melissa anywhere in sight.

The nurse at the front desk, upon seeing my hand, helped me fill out the paperwork and instructed me to sit and wait to be called. My phone dinged and I saw I had a message from Scott.

SCOTT: YOU OKAY?

I chuckled humorlessly, slowly, and clumsily typing out a message with my left hand.

STILES: ABSOLUTELY NOT. PLEASE TELL ME MITCHELL IS STILL BLEEDING IN THE HALL.

SCOTT: SORRY, I HAD ISAAC AND LIAM TAKE HIM TO THE NURSE.

STILES: DAMN I GUESS IT WAS TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR.

"Stiles?"

I looked up to see Dr. Geyer, Liam's dad, coming toward me.

"Hey." I said standing.

"What are you doing here? Everything okay?"

I showed him my hand and he winced.

"I guess not. Why don't you come back with me, and I'll take a look at it for you."

"Sure, thanks." I put my phone away and followed him down to an exam room.

"So how did this happen?" he asked getting gloves.

"Uh, funny story, actually. I was just walking down the hall at school when my fist kind of made contact with something very hard, repeatedly."

"Something or someone?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Well that something may have been attached to a face."

"I see." He said picking up my hand and testing the range of motion, pressing gently on some spots. I hissed when one spot produced more pain than the others. "Do you want to tell me why this something with a face offended you so much that you made contact more than once."

"It's been a rough few days and he was kind of the last straw."

He nodded, asking nothing else.

"Well, it looks like it's a Boxer's knuckle, a partial tear in the tendon. I don't think it's a break, but we'll get some x-rays and get it wrapped up for you."

"Okay, thank you."

He smiled and left. I pulled my phone out to see a new message from Scott.

SCOTT: I TALKED TO MALIA.

I stared at the message, not sure how to answer. Did I want to know what was said? Yes. Was I pretty sure I wouldn't like what was said? Also, yes. I put my phone away message unanswered.

X-rays were done and the results were just as he said a boxer's break or whatever. He splinted it, made me promise to tell my dad and released me to go. Back in the jeep I pulled out my phone again. School was half over, and I got another text from Scott. I didn't even check it, not in the mood for whatever it was because I knew it had to do with her and I just wanted a reprieve from thinking about her, just for a second.

The problem is there was nowhere I could go that I wouldn't be reminded of her in some form. Deciding to embrace the insanity of it all I drove up to the Look Out and parked. I rummaged through the back; sure, I bought a case of water for when the jeep overheats but couldn't find it. I did, however, find a forgotten bottle of scotch that I had gotten last year. When Scott was reeling from his breakup with Allison. We ended up getting drunk off the bourbon I had also borrowed, well I got drunk. Shifter metabolism sucks on that front. This bottle, however, never got touched. That was about to change.

Hopping up on the hood I opened the bottle and took a giant drink of the dark liquid. The burn as it hit my throat almost brought on tears and made me cough. It didn't stop me from taking another mouthful. Maybe since I could get drunk, I would be able to forget the fact that my girlfriend dumped me without a real reason or that another guy can freely touch her, and I have no say. Maybe I'll forget the pain in my chest which outweighs the pain in my hand by a thousand. Maybe my mind won't continuously conjure up her face, her smile, her laugh. Shaking my head, I took another drink.

A fourth of the way through the bottle my head was swimming and my mind just wondered where it wanted to go. I was pleasantly buzzed enough that I didn't care anymore.

"Hello?" I answered the unknown number. There was silence on the other end before a voice responded.

"Hi… Stiles?" a soft voice questioned.

"Yeah, who is…, Malia?"

"Uh yeah. Sorry, you gave me your number but maybe you didn't think I would use it or didn't actually want me to use it. I mean you don't even really know me. Which I guess is weird since you've already seen me naked. That's not embarrassing or anything." She rambled and then suddenly stopped. I couldn't help but grin at how cute she sounded going on her tangent.

"No, it's okay. I gave you my number to use. I'm glad you did."

"Oh, okay." She said then followed up with awkward silence.

"Did you just need to talk, or did you need help with something?" I asked after the silence stretched on too long to be even a tiny bit comfortable.

"I'm so stupid." She groaned.

"No, you're not. You're a bit awkward but that's understandable. It's been a while since you had to interact with people I imagine."

"Unless their dinner." She said then groaned again.

"Yeah…"

"Damn it."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. But I was wondering… do you mind if I come over? My dad's gone and I really don't want to be alone in that house right now, and…"

"Of course. Do you know how to get here, or do you want me to come pick you up?"

"Actually… I'm right outside, I think. I kind of scented you out?" she formed it as a question, and I could hear the embarrassment.

Getting up, I made my way down the hall to the front door and pulled it open. She was standing right outside on the sidewalk. She gave a small wave and I smiled at her hanging up. She walked slowly across the grass twisting her hands the closer she got.

"Hey." She whispered.

"Hey, you want to come in?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"Okay, how about this. Let's sit out here for a while and then if or when you feel comfortable you can come in or I can take you back home. Whichever you prefer. Okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

We both sat on the porch swing, and I don't think she realized until afterwards that she leaned into me as if needing comfort. It was kind of how she was after we brought her out of the woods and were waiting for her father to get her from the police station. When she leaned her head against my shoulder, I moved my arm, and she jumped up.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to… I just feel really comfortable with you and… I should go." she rambled then shook her head turning to leave.

"Malia, stop. It's okay. I don't mind. Come sit." I said grabbing her hand and pulling her back down beside me.

"Are you sure. You don't have to do this?"

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. Come here." I pulled her closer, wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Just relax." I soothed swaying us lightly as her shoulders relaxed and she laid her head back against my shoulder.

The sound of a motor made me sit up, dizzily I might add. I tried to turn to see who it was but ended up just sliding off the side of the jeep and barely managing to land on my feet. I smiled at the motorbike approaching.

"Hey Scotty, you came to join my pity party."

Scott:

"Is he drunk?" Isaac asked from behind me.

"Yup. It's why I brought you. I figured something like this would happen after he ignored my last text."

We both dismounted as Stiles staggered his way towards us.

"Welcome to the party bro, or bros. whatever." He said taking another drink of the already third of the way down bottle.

"Stiles, where did you even get that?" I asked trying to take it from him. He stepped back pulling it from my reach.

"This was part of the set from last year remember when you and Allison broke up and I tried to get you drunk. Didn't work so well for you but its doing a bang-up job for me."

"I don't think drinking will stop you from hurting."

"Nope, but its numbing it quite nicely. Besides, I'm not drinking to forget. I'm drinking to celebrate my survival."

"Survival from what?" Isaac asked.

"I'm glad you asked Izekiel, Icicle… you know your name." He said waving the bottle around before taking yet another drink. I have to get that bottle away from him before he ends up with alcohol poisoning.

"I survived another heartbreak. That makes two and in such a short time." He laughed. "I survived yet another girl ripping my heart out of my chest and grinding it into the ground right in front of me. That's something to celebrate don't you think."

"Shit, Stiles…"

"No, no Scotty. Don't do that. I'm not upset about you and Lydia, not at all. We have moved past that. It is what it is and you two belong together. With your stupid cutesy little nicknames for each other. So don't go feeling bad about that. I was just pointing out that I survived." he took another step back.

"How did you guys come up with those nicknames anyway, not very original." He said wagging a finger. "I couldn't think of any, I tried for all of 30 seconds and couldn't think of a one. And Malia…" he stopped talking and his smile dropped. Taking another drink, he took another step backwards.

"Stiles, stop you're getting to close to the edge." I warned reaching for him. He turned to look but his foot didn't cooperate, and he landed on his ass, slamming against the side of the jeep and sloshing alcohol all over himself.

"Oops." He giggled letting the bottle slip from his hand and roll away.

"Crap." I sigh as me and Isaac both dove for him to help him up. But he waved us away and hung his head. Instead, we both just knelt in front of him.

"He was right." Stiles sighed.

"Who was right about what?"

"Mitchell. He was right, it does sting, that two girls rejected me for someone else, back-to-back." He chuckled.

"Stiles, Theo-." Isaac started but I shook my head at him. There is no way Stiles would grasp that information in the state he was in.

"You know what's worse, is that for a while there, I was really happy. I forgot about the whole Lydia thing, I was working through my trigger issues and felt like things were great. I thought I had finally found someone who looked at me the way you two look at Allison and Lydia. I thought that maybe I had found that same bliss you all have. That I could…" he wiped at his face. I looked at Isaac who looked just as pained for him as I felt.

"But whatever. It doesn't matter. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much to keep doing this." He said trying to stand. We helped him up.

"Don't write this off yet Stiles." I told him.

"Sure, sure. I should get home. I'm sure dad is wondering where I am now. He is gonna be so pissed." He said, pulling his keys out of his pocket. I snatched them from him.

"There is no way you are able to drive right now."

"Fine you drive. My hand hurts anyway." He said staggering around to the other side and crawling, literally crawling, into the back seat. Not even a minute later he was sleep. Sighing, I turned to Isaac.

"Follow me back to his house and help me get him inside and then you can take the bike back to Allisons. I'll take his jeep home."

He nodded and mounted the bike as I got in the jeep starting it up.

It didn't take long to get back to town and even less time to pull up in Stiles driveway. I grimaced as the front door opened and the Sheriff stepped out, arms crossed.

"Scott."

"Hey Sheriff."

"Please tell me my son is not passed out drunk in the back seat of his own jeep."

"I really wish I could, sir."

"Do you need help getting him inside?" he sighed.

"No sir. I think we got. Just make sure his door is open."

"Yep." He said going back inside.

Isaac and I were able to maneuver Stiles out of the jeep, which he did not make easy at all. He was basically dead weight, snoring and drooling as we carried him in. We passed Mr. Stilinski and set him on his bed, where he promptly rolled over, whispered Malia's name and continued to snore with his face buried in a pillow.

"Isaac you can go ahead and take off."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go head. Tell Lydia I'll call her later tonight."

"Okay."

"Thanks, Isaac, for helping with this." Mr. Stilinski said.

"No problem. Have a good night."

"You too."

We both sat as soon as Isaac was gone. The Sheriff pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit that I have seen Stiles use a few times as well.

"I got a call from the school this morning. Stiles is suspended for fighting and the kid ended up in the hospital missing a couple of teeth and with a broken nose and jaw."

"I was afraid of that." I sighed.

"How did this happen?"

I went over the events of this morning, explaining how Stiles took what he saw the wrong way and how that spiraled when Mitchell who had an issue with Stiles wouldn't keep his mouth closed and Stiles just snapping.

"Mitchell. Is that Mark Mitchell?"

"I think so yeah. He's on the team with us."

"Then I guess that's kind of my fault. Mark Mitchell has had a plethora of speeding and parking tickets and finally got his license revoked a month or so ago. I'm guessing he's taking out his anger at me on Stiles."

"Maybe, but it also could be that talk Stiles had with him about flirting with Malia as well."

"That's the same kid? Maybe he was asking for it then." He joked. I offered a smile because I agree.

"And this Malia thing? What happened there? I thought they were happy together."

"They were. I don't want to say too much because it's not my story to tell but the short of it is, that they both have the same problem of doing stupid things under the pretense of protecting each other."

"Ah, that make sense." He nodded. "Well even though I understand why he did what he did, I still have to parent. So, you keep the jeep for the next week or so. He's suspended anyway so he won't need it for school."

"Uh, there's just one other thing. We have a situation that we need his help with."

"Supernatural."

"Yup."

"What exactly do you need from him?"

"Just his input and only for one meeting tomorrow after school. After that I think we got it covered."

"Okay, I will allow for tomorrow afternoon. But bring him right back here by 6 pm Scott."

"I promise. Thanks."

"Sure. Now I'm going to set some Tylenol and a bottled water on his nightstand for the hangover I am sure he will have tomorrow and then I think I deserve a drink myself." He said standing, I followed suit.

"Wait, that reminds me. How did he get alcohol anyway?" he asked.

"Uh…"

"Guess I'm buying a lock for the liquor cabinet tomorrow."

"Night Sheriff."

"Night."

Stiles:

*******
A tap on my window pulled my focus from the book I was reading to see Malia standing outside waving like a goof. Snorting I got up and unlocked the window. She opened it and climbed in.

"You can use the door you know."

"This is more convenient." She shrugged. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing really. Today is kind of a blah day. Nowhere to go or anything to do. Usually, I would see what Scott was doing but we kind of aren't talking right now so…" I told her laying across my bed.

"Scott, you mean the alpha that forced my shift?"

I nodded.

"He gave me his number, well your dad did. In case I need help with shifting." She said as she climbed on my bed, picked up my head, laid down perpendicular to me and set my head on her stomach. Then started combing her fingers through my hair.

"Comfortable?" I asked.

"Very, thanks." she sighed happily. I snorted but didn't stop her. It actually felt good. "So why aren't you and Scott talking?"

"That's a long, weird story."

"Well, you just said you have nothing to do, and I've got nowhere to go." She was right. And it would be nice to just vent it all to someone on the outside.

So, I told her all of it. From my crush on Lydia to her telling me that we were never going to happen to finding out that both she and Scott have feelings for each other. I even told her about the conversation we had the night we found her.

"So, they're both your friends, your best friends even though you have been closer to Scott longer. And they both love each other but are staying apart and suffering for you?"

"No… well I mean…"

"And you already realized that you no longer have those feelings for her, well not completely and you have already accepted that you could not love her the way he does."

"Uh, yeah I guess."

"I don't get it. If you already know all this then why aren't you telling them too just be together?"

"I… it's not that simple."

"Sure, it is. Don't you want to find someone that wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them?"

"Of course, I do." I huffed half annoyed.

"So how does keeping them apart help you find that? Seems like you're trying to hold on to something that you already know is not going to happen. You should just get over yourself, stop being a dick and let your friends be happy." She said yanking at my hair.

"Well, when you put it like that." I said, rolling my eyes. She laughed.

"So, what were you reading?"

"A graphic novel."

"A what?"

"You haven't heard of them?"

"No, is it just like a regular book."

"Not really…it's kind of a mix of a comic book and a regular book."

"Show me."

"Really?" I turned my head to look at her. Her face lit up with excitement.

"Yeah, teach me something."

"Okay." I smiled back at her noticing the sparkle in her eyes.

The sudden sound of something landing hard against a hard surface woke me followed by searing pain as I attempted to open my eyes but bright light stabbing my eyeballs wouldn't allow it. I groaned and thought to roll over but even that was painful and the fact that my stomach rolled with any movement didn't help.

"Rise and shine Stiles." My dad said too loudly.

"Why are you yelling?" I whispered because even though my voice sounded horse it still sounded harrowing in my head. Even more, my throat felt like the Sahara and my breath tasted like old gym socks and dirty cleats.

"If I were yelling you would know it. And as much as I want to teach you a lesson about underage drinking, I don't want to torture you, much. But we do need to talk before I head out. so, sit up, take the Tylenol, and drink the water."

"Fine, but can you please close the shades, because my eyes refuse to open with the sun right there." I mumbled burying my head under my pillow.

I heard the click of the shades closing and peeked to see it had dimmed. It didn't completely dissipate the pain, but it helped some. Sitting up I took the pills he gave me and downed the entire bottle of water.

"How's your hand?" he asked sitting in my desk chair.

"Good, it's not broken, torn tendons, is what Dr Geyer said."

"Well, that's a lot better than Mitchell's diagnosis."

I looked at him and he offered a half smile.

"Missing a few teeth, broken nose and jaw."

I looked away only a tiny bit ashamed about that.

"I wish I could apologize and mean it." I told him.

"But you won't, and you don't."

"No." I shook my head.

"Maybe I should apologize then, if only for being a very small part responsible. Though I didn't think he would stupidly take it out on you. Makes no sense to me."

"What do you mean?"

"I've pulled Mitchell over a few times; he's gotten so many tickets in the last few months that they finally took his license. I'm guessing part of why he was targeting you was because of that."

I nodded.

"Even though what you did isn't completely excusable I do understand why you hit him… once... maybe twice. But Stiles for him to sustain those kinds of injuries and for you to have torn a tendon you had to have hit him way too many times."

"Yeah, I think I kind of zone out until Scott pulled me back." I admitted.

"This kind of behavior isn't like you Stiles, and neither is you drinking. You have seen what drinking pain away can do, up close and personally."

"I know dad. And I really didn't have any plans to get drunk. Or drink at all really. It was more of an afterthought or something. I just couldn't get her off my mind and I was tired of seeing her in my head, hearing her. I was tired of feeling like my chest was caving in every freaking minute. I just wanted to forget her and feeling like hell and everything just for a minute. I saw the bottle just there in my jeep and I didn't think I just grabbed it and…"

"I get it, I do. But this cannot happen again. If you feel that need to escape again you talk to me, or Scott or someone. But drinking is not an escape. I refuse to let you have those issues on top of everything else. Understand?" the understanding was clear in his voice but also the reprimand. Despite what some people think, I don't relish being in trouble, it just seems to happen… more often than not. But I really hate disappointing my dad.

"Yeah, I understand."

"Good. Now you have the next several days off, suspended so no school. Also, since you did get into a fight and was suspended and had to be carried home in a drunken sleep you're grounded for the next two weeks. No arguments. When you go back to school you go there, to practice and back home. And just to drive that point home. I told Scott to keep your jeep for a while."

"That's fair, I guess. Not sure what I would do stuck in the house all day every day though."

"Well, your grades could always be improved on so maybe do some studying. There's also housework to do and if you're feeling really ambitious you can cook. Wait never mind don't do that. I remember the last time you tried to cook. I can't afford a new kitchen." He said standing.

"I made coffee that and a hot shower should help with the hang over." He said. "Oh, and one more thing. You have a reprieve, today only. Scott is picking you up after practice. Apparently, there is something going on with the sups that they need your help with. So there and straight back. Okay?"

"Huh, yeah." I said confused. "Did he say what was going on?"

"No and I didn't ask. But if it's something I need to know I trust you to tell me, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks dad."

"Yeah. Eat something, shower, and study." He said from the doorway. I nodded waving him off.