A/N: Please be aware this chapter has mature content!
„Just so we're perfectly clear, this does not quality as our Monday meeting, I already made plans for us." Logan remarked, taking a bite of his ravioli.
They were sitting outside of a charming Italian restaurant, shaded by a lemon tree, surrounded by colourful, vibrant tiles. Rory looked stunning in her strapless summer dress worn over her bikini, and the few baby hairs that fell out of her bun concluded the aesthetic perfectly. It has been the perfect ending to their summer adventure in Positano.
They wandered the streets of this small city, explored numerous charming little souvenir shops in search for the perfect magnet for Rory's fridge back in Queens. They tasted traditional Limoncello from a local shop where the old white man with a long, grey beard kept calling them „coppia perfetta". They took many pictures trying to capture the exciting feel of this breathtaking city fully aware nothing they would feel anywhere else will ever compare to this, feeling the breeze against their skin, feeling each others presence so strongly, clutching each others hand at the mere possibly of loosing each other in the bustling crowd.
„This should count as something" Rory said, taking a sip of her wine, smiling softy at him. The tables were small so he could easily move a piece of her hair behind her ear, purposely touching her face while doing so, watching the golden hour kiss her face instead of him.
Logan wished to be able to freeze time, as this is how he would like to stay for the rest of his days. His girl, under the warm Italian sun, right before him. He struggled to gather up the courage to have a real talk with her, there were some intense emotions piling up, and he was afraid of her slipping through his fingers if he wasn't careful enough. When you're young, you think you will know everything by 28, but nothing prepares you for the hurricane of emotions and your dreading conscience making someone else's happiness more important than your own.
He watched her look over to the sea and pictured her sitting on his couch, reading a book while he finished up work from his desk. His dreams were never about doing insane, wildly romantic things with Rory. While those were nice and always a beautiful thought, but he didn't just want that. He wanted ordinary. He wanted to pick her up from a night out, to patiently braid her hair when her nail polish would dry, he wanted to cook for her and dance around the kitchen in best hopes nothing burns. He wanted every day with Rory, he wanted a whole future with her. None of this can happen without the two of them talking about the things that are bothering them, he knew that, but how could he ruin, such a perfect moment? How on earth should he find the right words when this whole day is making him speechless? What a self-destructive thing to do, to enjoy the time with her, no matter the fact that if he misses this, someone else might take the chance and ask her to spend her time with him.
„This obviously isn't a business meeting." Logan said, and his hand touched her knee beneath the table, her dress was very loose, so the fabric moved away as if he had politely asked for it. She didn't mind feeling his hand on her skin, it was warm and reassuring. She enjoyed his touch, well aware it wasn't a touch colleagues ever shared. Perhaps she, too, didn't want to ruin such a perfect moment either.
„None of your Monday meetings with me were ever intended to be business meetings." Rory replied, quickly as usually.
„There is some truth to that, I won't deny it." Logan laughed softy.
When he laughed like that, all of the noise would disappear, in Rory's world, even the birds would shut up. It was a very hard thing to admit, but she liked being around him. The doubt and the mistrust were never there when she was around him. She wanted to speak first, she knew they had to talk, clear the air, clarity their intentions. She sensed he wanted it too, regardless of the outcome. However, the fear of him telling her he has feelings for Carrie, made her not want to know at all. Just imagining him leaving like the day of her graduation, sent her mind into a whirlwind of anxiety.
„Did you know I was selected for this job?" Rory asked him curiously, recalling encountering him in the office back in New York.
„No, I asked for the best, and they sent you." There was so much pride in Logan's voice.
„Were you surprised?" She asked again.
„I was never surprised by any of your success, you're the hardest working person I know." He was honest, there was not a single shred of doubt in his voice.
„Was Carrie selected because she was also the best?" The words slipped out, burning at the tip of her tongue, even though it felt like the timing wasn't the best for that conversation. She could see how uncomfortable her question made him. He began looking around, searching for a change of topic, something that could stir the conversation in another direction, a quick escape. This behaviour already gave Rory the indication that their feelings were once serious, he wouldn't react this way if they weren't.
Logan wasn't comfortable discussing Carrie with Rory. He gazed down at his food and withdrew his hand from her knee, she felt that, it hit hard.
„Carrie applied for the job herself, the Globe didn't suggest her." Logan admitted, attempting to convincing himself that there was nothing to hide.
„So you thought she was a good fit?" The specific sequence of these words seemed to catch Logan off guard, and guilt flickered across his face, he didn't want the conversation to get to this point, however, they both knew it was necessary.
„Let's talk about it." Logan leaned forward in his chair, locking eyes with her, committed to this, he wanted this, badly.
„Yes, let's talk about it." Rory said, setting her wine glass down. Her heart was racing fast and she was unsure if she could conceal her nervousness for much longer.
„You can ask me anything." He replied, acting all confident.
„Why did you and Carry break up?" It was one of the first questions she wanted an answer to.
„Because she wanted to get married." He answered and her heart, which had been beating twice as fast a second ago, stopped beating for a second.
„And you didn't want to marry her?" Rory asked him.
„No, I only ever wanted to marry you." There was so much pain in his answer, he will probably never get over that, it was something that will haunt him forever.
„How come you arrived together at the launch party?"
„We didn't. I saw her talking on the phone outside the restaurant and we just happened to walk inside together." Logan wondered if that was the reason Rory behaved so distant after the party. He gently took her hand in his and brushed over it with his thumb. His eyes were so in love with hers he wished he never had to blink.
„So, there is nothing going on between the two of you?" She asked, regretting the wasted time, regretting the sleepless night, could things really be that simple for once?
„There hasn't been anything going on for years. I have no interest in her." No more games, no more running away from the inevitable. Rory was designed for him, he knew that in his heart.
Rory nodded, understanding his already very clear statement, believing him. Logan smiled at her, relieved it was out of the way. The air around them felt lighter, the colours seemed brighter and the comfortable silence was interrupted by Rory's phone ringing. It was Alison, informing her that they are waiting for them by the cars. Checking the time Rory stood up and in one swift motion grabbed Logan's hand. He had already left more than enough money on the table. Together, they ran down the romantic streets of Rory's new favourite place on Earth.
Alison's smile couldn't get any brighter as she saw Rory walk over to them, hand in hand with Logan. They moved pass the point of running, but not pass the point of wanting to hold each other's hands.
„Ready?" Logan asked the group and let go of Rory's hand to put his sunglasses on. Mark's face following that gesture closely.
„Sure." Mark simply responded, holding the door open for Rory, she stepped inside and he closed the door before walking to the other side to get inside as well.
Logan felt a twinge of disappointment when Rory got inside of Mark's car, I guess the topic of Mark wasn't on today's agenda, which was partly his own fault. She probably didn't want another discussion about transportation arrangements. Despite being a bit tipsy from the wine tasting, Alison followed Logan to his car without complaint.
„So, you guys had fun?" Logan chuckled, noticing Alison had some trouble walking in a straight line.
„It was very fun! Mark just couldn't stop talking about Rory and they just kept offering us more wine." Alison giggled and leaned back. Logan tried his best to suppress his annoyance regarding Mark.
„Oh, did he? What did he say?" Logan asked curiously, taking advantage of her being tipsy, he can feel bad about that later.
„He said; ‚how about I get you some Brunello to start?'" Alison imitated what seemed to be an old man's voice.
„I meant Mark." Logan laughed.
„Oh, he said; ‚I tried asking him nicely to back off. Rory deserves a real man who can take care of her.'" Alison switched her voice from being super deep to being super high-pitched, Logan understood why Rory enjoyed her company, she was fun to be around.
„So what did you guys do?" Mark asked Rory as soon as he noticed Thomas falling asleep in the backseat.
„We just roamed… roamed around the city, tried some Limoncello, ate some good food." She said, looking through her phone at the picture that they took.
„I really wished we could have spent this day together." Mark said, sounding disappointed.
„I think Logan and I needed that." She was unable hide her smile.
„I think you needed exactly the opposite." He commented and she looked at him confused.
„Why is that?" Rory raised her eyebrow, surprised to see this side of him.
„He is obviously way out of his head, so full of himself." Matt rolled his eyes and Rory felt an unexpected surge of anger, an urge to protect Logan she couldn't ignore.
„There is so much more to Logan than what meets the eye." She put her phone down, fully focused on clearing the air.
„I'm just saying, you deserve someone who is down-to-earth, someone who cares about you." He mumbled, nervously getting to the point he wanted to make. His words hurt Rory.
„Logan and I, we're good for each other." Rory said looking down, feeling shy.
„I hope, for your sake, Rory, that you realise how good you could be with someone else as well, someone who wont't bail on you" He said.
„How did you—" Rory began to ask.
„Alison talks a lot when she's had a few too many drinks." Mark admitted, he couldn't hide the little smile on his face.
„It just wasn't our time, we were too young." She replied.
„I'm just saying, you should maybe give your heart a chance to find love again. It can be epic again." Mark gave her a warm smile and Rory nodded, but his words stung, as she couldn't help but contemplate the painful thought: what if she couldn't experience pure joy until she finally let go of Logan?
In order to grant anyone a chance she would have to completely erase Logan from her heart, and that will never happen on its own, she tried. She focused on her goals, her career, herself, but in there he was, at the back of her head. It would take a substantial amount of effort to not think about him, she realised she could never just forget her feelings towards him and move on.
Being with Logan made her feel alive again. It felt like waking up from a long sleep, like being rescued from drowning. The power of his touch was the most vivid fantasy, whenever he would brush his fingertips against her skin, it felt like it was melting under him. He touched her soul, made it laugh again. He challenged her, but her let be wild. But there were facts that couldn't be ignored. He did hurt her, more than once, more than anyone, ever. He did make her question his feelings for her, all the time. Their love had a lot of baggage, but fuck did it feel electric when they were together. He looked at her like she was the most fascinating view, and the powerful woman she was, became utterly weak for the man of her dreams.
They all arrived back at the hotel, and Logan was already out of his car when he noticed Mark open the door for Rory. He took his own sweatshirt from the backseat and pulling it over her head, chuckling at how messy it made her hair, he attempted to smooth down her hair, failing miserably, making both of them laugh.
Logan knew precisely what Mark was doing, and between anger and disappointment, he couldn't determine which emotion weighed more heavily on him. He couldn't help but to ask himself, could she possibly be happier with Mark? Was he damaged goods and Mark was this shiny new toy? Would it be a fair thing to listen to Mark and give them space?
Rory noticed Logan standing next to his car, and she gave him the most beautiful, shy smile, pulling up her sleeves, holding them in her hand. She bit her lip, and Logan lost every sense of sanity he had left. The effect she had on him, the power she had over him, was undeniable. Oh, how she could easily manipulate him in doing anything she wanted, if she wanted to.
They all entered the elevator, with Logan not wasting one second of looking away from her. His eyes were glued to her, her soft skin, magical eyes and her perfectly messy hair. The two of them were also the last ones in the elevator, as everyone else stayed at a lower floor.
Once they reached the top floor they also walked out of the elevator. She stepped out first and once he stepped out of the elevator as well, he grabbed her by the hand, pulling her to him and then against the wall, gently not to hurt her, but firmly enough to send out a clear message.
„Tell me you want me." Logan leaned forward and whispered to her, holding both of her hands above her head. He was so close to her he could feel her warm breath against his skin, he couldn't possibly move closer to her without actually touching her.
She couldn't respond, her heart was pounding fast and her mouth unintentionally let out a soft moan, looking up at him, this beautiful man, holding her tightly. She tried matching his energy, building up the courage to act out, grab control of the situation.
„Tell me you want me, not him." He whispered into her ear this time, more determined, firmly, breathing against her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Every effort to resist him and play cool seemed out of reach now. She couldn't take it anymore, she needed to feel him, she needed him to claim her as his own.
„I want you." Rory admitted. His free hand wandered down her body, not missing a single spot on his way to her hips, grabbing her tightly, showing her how close he wanted her, pulling her hips against him, letting her feel him. She closed her eyes, letting her emotions take over, leaning her head back.
„Say it again." He demanded and his hand went back up to her neck, pulling her face softy to the side, exposing her bare neck to him. The things he wanted to do with her, the places he wanted to take her, the places he wanted to kiss her, she was every fantasy he had. She had no idea, the power she had over him, how mad she drew him by simply being herself.
„I want you Logan." She lost her mind, gave it up willingly and in one swing motion he lifted her up and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He held her securely with one hand, while his other hand took the back of her head to pull her close enough to brush his lips against hers, she tasted the same, he loved that.
Kissing her was not like anything else he ever experienced. He didn't have anything else on his mind, not about what he would do next, if anyone would see them, nothing from the past or the future was on his mind. He was just kissing her and that was his whole world. He wanted to adore her, he wanted to giver her everything.
He carried her over to his room and unlocked it without letting her fall down, it was messy, but it was real. Her small body should always be wrapped around his, he thought. He walked inside, closed the door and leaned her against the wall again, moving his kisses down to her warm neck, knowing how sensitive it was, he knew her body well, he knew what drove her crazy and the thrill of hearing her call out his name made him want it even more.
Kissing like that showed them exactly how much they missed each other. It felt like they were running out of time, but they weren't. Her heart obviously knew where it belonged, since it was beating so hard it seemed like it wanted to leave her body and jump into his arms as well. He knew how to touch her, he knew what she liked.
Logan undressed her and threw that fucking sweatshirt Mark put on her like she belonged to him, to the other side of the room. She was his girl, she never really stopped being his girl. Mark may be dressing her, Logan was undressing her.
He carried her to the bed and leaned her gently forward, placing her in the middle of his king sized bed. She looked so beautiful to him, he turned one single lamp on, not wanting to miss a single millisecond of this, he wanted to see her.
„Please, tell me again." He smiled, not getting enough of her, kissing her cleavage, feeling her body getting warmer as he touched the inside of her thigh, she still smelled like sea salt even though they tried washing it off at the beach.
„I want only you Logan. I need you." She whispered, her hands playing gently with his blond hair, having him in her arms felt like coming home.
It wasn't as she expected it to be. The moment they undressed each other, Logan took his sweet time. He was gentle with her, slowly and lovingly cherishing her body, giving it the patience and attention needed to bring her to the most beautiful place imaginable. He conspicuously, undoubtably made love to her. He didn't rush it, he was in charge and he made it his mission to make all of it about her, knowing damn well how she wanted him and that was enough to satisfy him as well. Their bodies melted together like before and his kisses all around her body felt familiar as ever. He made sure, whenever she would touch herself in the next few days, she would feel him, he printed his fingertips all over her and she never felt stronger, more loved than that night.
Nothing short of magic, having his Rory in his arms, allowing him to explore her all over again, as if he could ever forget the times they shared before. It felt like no time passed, it felt natural, she was meant for him, he felt that so clearly.
The silence afterwards allowed him a moment of gratefulness. He didn't expect the calmness, having her curled up to him, her naked body warming up his. If he would die right now, it would have been fine, he was already in heaven anyways. He kissed the top of her head, her silky hair all over his arm, he didn't mind, it was a blessing having it tickle him.
„I dreamed of this, so many times." Logan whispered to her, brushing her hair away from her face with his free hand.
„Of us sleeping together?" She looked up at him, teasing him.
„No, of you, just holding you like this." He answered, honestly, fully concentrated on her.
„So I'm your dream girl?" Rory asked him jokingly and he smiled, sitting up.
„Let me get us some late night snacks." He smiled and got up, putting his boxers and sweats on.
„But… it's like 3 in the morning?" Rory sat up as well.
„But… I'm Logan Huntzberger" He winked at her and called the reception.
Rory stood up and wrapped a blanket around her and made her way to the bathroom. She stood in front of the bathroom mirror and touched her hair, it felt different, it was glowing differently. She then touched her neck, where he kissed her just moments ago, his touch still lingered. It felt like she didn't have control over her own body, it didn't belong just to her for the brief period of time. For what will always be too short, her body moved, unwillingly to him, her mind was some place else and her body just followed.
She didn't feel pressured, she didn't feel rushed. Logan made it the perfect night and now, her body felt different, it felt loved again. If nothing in this world ever works out for her, she still had this, this perfect moment of intimacy and it will be enough.
Logan called out for her and she walked back to the room, to find him with more ice cream than two people could eat in a week. She walked over to the large window and sat down on the bench next to it, it had a beautiful view of the now very quiet city. Rory took a spoon.
„So this is our version of the cigarette after sex?" Rory teased, taking a spoon full of ice cream in her mouth.
„I'm with a Gilmore girl, I know what I'm doing." He chuckled and leaned in to kiss her, brushing his hand against her warm cheek, the moonlight made her look even more beautiful than ever and there he was, in heaven with her.