Every Little Thing

by wolvesjr34

Part two of the Saints & Sinners Universe. Sequel to What If It's You? It's still a soapy, soapy world. Jane and Maura are navigating their life together in Launceston, and are drawn into their friend's drama. Established Rizzles. I do not own Maura and Jane and any other character from the show or books, original characters are all my own though!

22. Chapter 22

A/N: I know, I know, it has been almost a month. I apologise profusely, but in my defense not only have I been battling the mental health demons, but I also had a week of lethargy from a mystery respiratory illness. However, I thought it best I come to you with a strong offering and thus I have 18,000 words of some of the soapiest twists and moments that will leave the feint hearted wanting to poke my eyes out with sticks.

The thing is I received some feedback that reminded me angst is what I do best and well, suffice to say while half of the characters in this story have been truly going through it as they should in a soap genre, the main two have only just dipped their toes into the soap because I was holding back. I was afraid of upsetting the fandom and in the process I was NOT doing any justice to the genre, or my own heart. I wasn't doing justice to the relationships and the world I have painstakingly built over the last eight years. The kid gloves are off. Tropical Storm Angst, has been upgraded to a category five hurricane.

Y'all are here because you ship Rizzles, and you have my word that when this universe is all said and done, Rizzles will be what you receive, but in the mean time... those of you that enjoy a genuinely good soap, might start to wonder if you should be shipping other pairings, because it's time for a reckoning.

Also there's a small NSFW scene near the latter part of this chapter, and it's not my area of strength or expertise at all. I do try to only put stuff like that in for story narrative driving purposes. So I apologise if that comes across a little awkward or weak, I did my absolute best with the situation.

So buckle down folks, grab your comfort food and drinks and strap in for the ride.

Also, thank you so much for sticking with me and reading, and as always I understand if the angst is too much. I like it a lot more than many can handle and that is perfectly fine.

---

Chapter Twenty Two

Jane was worried. The weekend from Hell had seeped over into the new week. Calling out of work hadn't been something she ought to be doing, but she hadn't had much choice given what had taken place with Kelly. Melissa was clearly distraught during and after and no amount of theorising and planning a way forward had really been able to put a dent into her mood. Her friend had completely withdrawn after they had determined their next step forward. She had excused herself citing a need for fresh air and had left for a walk. Two hours ago.

Jane wasn't exactly concerned that the psychopathic manipulative demon currently pulling their strings was the reason her friend remained absent. He had motives that didn't necessarily entail murder, at least not of Melissa anyway. He'd had that opportunity and passed on it. That remained a pivotal piece of information. How it precisely fit in the puzzle she was attempting to solve remained as yet unknown, but it afforded a temporary relief from the chilling fear of the unknown. So while Jane wasn't overly worried by that, she was still incredibly concerned by the way her friend had withdrawn both emotionally and physically.

Then there was Maura. She hadn't heard from her ex fiancée, not that she imagined she would until the evening, if she were to at all. Maura was teaching. Kelly had no doubt reached out by now in one form or another if she were going to. Maura probably had all the wrong information. Information that would only confirm her genuinely baseless suspicions. As much as she had reassured Melissa that things would work out there, she couldn't truly be confident of that. There was something going on with Maura, but she couldn't put her finger on it. The insecurity brought on by Kelly surely couldn't have been enough of a reason for what had happened two nights prior.

Has this devious asshole already gotten to Maura? No, that seems incredibly unlikely. There were no indications of Maura being secretive. She was triggered by Melissa. If he had gotten to Maura, it would explain a lot. However it left Jane wondering how well she truly knew Maura. Because if Maura had been able to keep something like that from her? No. Jane couldn't imagine it was anything like that. He had lucked into an offer that happened to suit his goals, nothing more, nothing less. Which begged the question, what the Hell was going on with Maura?

There was so much to worry about that her need to protect those she cared about superseded her need to dull her pain. A weakness that she recognised could very well have gotten them into the situation they currently found themselves in. If she hadn't been so weak. If she hadn't walked into that bar and ordered a drink. If she hadn't contacted Melissa for the support she needed. There wouldn't have been a moment for him to slip something into her drink. She wouldn't have been out of commission. He may not have even made a move, or if he did, she would have been prepared to stop him once and for all.

It was easy to lay the blame firmly on her own shoulders. It provided a bitter salve for the deeper ache that permeated through her entire being regarding the state of her relationship with Maura. She didn't think she was responsible there, but then she also knew she had blindspots. Melissa was one of them. It was a lot easier blaming herself for the crappy situation she and Melissa now found themselves in, than to consider her part in Maura's last nerve fraying. Quite frankly it sucked that Maura would be so insecure. It sucked that she had been put in a position of being told what she felt, when Jane knew all too well exactly how she felt. She loved Maura. She was in love with Maura. To plead her case and be ignored, well that was a wound that could become infected if not tended to appropriately. It left a lingering hurt that may not be shaken so easily. So yeah, it was very, very easy for Jane Rizzoli to heap all the blame on herself for needing to send Kelly packing.

That burden weighed her down. To have inserted herself so brazenly between two married women, even if it was for the best for everyone involved, was just not the kind of thing she ever imagined doing. The briefest look of heartache she had witnessed in Kelly's eyes when she had finally lost all fight was enough to shake Jane to her core. The fact that Maura thought she could ever do that to her, to break her commitment to her, was unfathomable. The fact that Maura thought she could do that to Melissa also astounded her. Did Maura not understand who she was? Maura was well and truly aware of the impact her father leaving her mother had on her. How could the woman she loved deeply and bared her soul to look her in the eye and accuse her of being in love with another woman?

It hurt and Jane didn't have time to feel it. She didn't want to feel it. She didn't want to get lost in it. She wanted to fix it, but to do that she had to figure out what on earth it was this opportunistic asshat wanted to achieve. She had to figure out who he was. She had to do it before Melissa completely lost herself, because she was quite concerned. She should never have let Melissa leave the house alone, but her friend had been quite insistent and she most certainly wasn't her keeper. She believed in showing trust in these situations. Had she erred?

Jane sighed. She was pacing back and forth in Melissa's living room. She didn't know what to do. She had an idea of a few spots Melissa liked to frequent when she wasn't feeling the best, but she was sure there were many more places she didn't know about and if she were Melissa, who apparently clearly wanted space from her, she would choose somewhere she wasn't privy to. Gabby would know, but what could she say to Gabby? No doubt Gabby already knew that Maura had left her. Probably had a few things to say about it too. She already had pretty much the same low opinion of both herself and Melissa that Maura did. Then there was the whole production she and Melissa had put on for Kelly's benefit. News of the act was going to spread like wildfire and if Maura already knew, Jane would bet every cent she had that Gabby did too. Talk about stoking the fires of antagonism. Gabby was a professional at being antagonistic if she had a reason and what she and Melissa had just perpetrated gave Gabby more than enough reason to embrace her natural gifts.

She could tell Gabby the truth, as surely the woman would understand a threat to the lives of everyone Melissa cares about was practically a threat on Melissa's life. They both knew if Melissa lost one more person there may not be any pulling her back from the edge she walked so precariously as it was. That had to matter to Gabby. Regardless of the bulldog in her when it came to protecting Maura, a trait which in this moment Jane was somewhat grateful for, Gabby would never ever truly be free of caring about Melissa. Love like that didn't just die because a situation became untenable. It might get buried or converted into a different kind of love, but it would remain strong.

The truth of course felt like it wasn't an option. He had made it abundantly clear to Melissa that no cops were to be involved, besides herself of course, which she vowed would be his undoing. Whatever his game was, she would figure it out and she would end him. One way or another. Could she trust Gabby not to breathe a word to anyone else? The temptation to involve Alec would be strong and at this moment in time he along with every other male cop at the station was a suspect.

Jane didn't trust anyone.

---

The day was not going well. The run in with Hillenbrandt that morning was followed by the latest lead on the Dyson murder turning out to be nothing more than someone with a wild imagination, probably off their medication. They had dutifully followed up with what they had been told, but before the investigation into the new information had begun Gabby already knew it would be fruitless and she was right. Then there was a very brief call from Maura not too long ago and her mood plummeted into greater depths of darkness. Her life was fast turning into something straight out of a daytime soap, which was only reinforced by the text message she had received from Melissa.

Alec had been kind enough to entertain her heart's urge to make sure everything was okay with her ex-girlfriend, despite the fact logically she was ready to be beyond that entire mess. It was just a lot easier said than done. Gabby couldn't just switch off and ignore someone she had loved for almost half of her life. Even if she was really not in the mood. It was the same old, same old. Rinse and repeat. It didn't matter if they were together or separated. Melissa called and she came running.

Gabby ground her molars together, casting a final glance back at the carpark where Alec sat in their unmarked vehicle. His head was down, probably looking at his phone. The sound of seagulls jostling for food nearby carried across the wind. A young family sat around a picnic table throwing bread into the throng of hungry birds. Her eyes shifted further along the boardwalk settling on a lone figure leaning against the treated pine guard railing, staring out across the water.

Gabby's eyes closed for a moment as she sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly in an attempt to centre her emotions. Despite how clearly pensive her ex-girlfriend looked, her own anger bubbled under the surface. Maura's foreshadowing of Jane and Melissa's feelings for one another hadn't prepared her for the reality of being confronted by it. She didn't know how she was supposed to look Melissa in the eyes and feel anything other than cold, bitter disappointment.

She didn't know, but she would try anyway. Because that's what she did.

"Thanks for coming."

Melissa's voice was unusually quiet. She didn't even look Gabby's way when she arrived next to her and mirrored her position leaning against the railing. Gabby's own eyes settled on the side of a face clearly stricken with grief. It piqued her curiosity because after her call with Maura this was honestly the last thing she expected. To be summoned. This clearly wasn't about making an announcement of a new relationship that had seemed simultaneously inevitable and yet completely out of the blue. This was something more worrisome.

"What's going on?"

A deep sigh escaped Melissa's lips. Her eyes briefly glanced sideways, apparently not liking what they saw. She eventually whispered, "A lot."

It was apparent that this wasn't going to be a fast conversation. Gabby didn't exactly have time for a long drawn out scenario. She had work to do and yet she held her tongue, resisting the temptation she felt to lash out angrily. Her anger wasn't her own. It was Maura's and it occurred to her that she could be as indignant as she liked, but she didn't know the full story. She just knew one side of it. Could she really blame Melissa for welcoming Jane back after Maura set her free? Her best friend had made a huge mistake, obviously, underestimating the situation. Should Melissa be punished for that? She didn't exactly pursue Jane while she was in a relationship, in fact she highly doubted Melissa had been the one to make the first move. She had real feelings for Kelly, at least that's what she'd indicated. This whole situation smelled of Jane exerting her influence during a confusing time.

Gabby sighed loudly, the tension releasing from her body with the conscious decision not to lead with verbal punches. Clearly something was troubling Melissa, enough so that she turned to her. Alexis would not be pleased to hear about this lunchtime rendezvous, but she wasn't exactly going to leave her ex in the lurch when she was emotionally vulnerable.

"Is this about Jane?" Even Gabby couldn't believe how genuine and soft she had asked her own question. There was a tenderness still reserved for Melissa at times like this she didn't think she'd find.

There was an almost panicked flash in Melissa's eyes before she turned to look down the river. Gabby wasn't sure if she was trying to buy time to formulate her thoughts or if she was just that deep in her own mind. She decided to prod a little further in an attempt to get the conversation flowing more freely. "I spoke to Maura earlier. She had an interesting voice message left for her by Kelly this morning."

Melissa turned to meet her inquisitive gaze head on. "So Kelly told her what happened?"

Gabby nodded. She noticed the flash of agony in Melissa's eyes. None of this was adding up. The mere mention of Kelly's name was causing emotional pain in her friend that she didn't anticipate. "I don't understand what's going on here Missy. I thought you would be happier, given the change in your relationship with Jane."

Melissa shook her head. Tears glistened in her eyes. She was clearly battling something she was hesitant to mention. "This was a mistake," she uttered quietly. "You should go."

Alarm bells started ringing in Gabby's head. The hairs on her arms stood up. Melissa's quietness, her demeanour, her general overall reticence spoke volumes. Terrifying, volumes. "You asked me here for a reason, Missy. I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't understand. It was a mistake asking you here. I just…" Melissa sighed and brushed her tears away with the back of her wrist, her head shaking away whatever thought she was intending to share.

"You just what?"

"Forget it." Melissa spoke firmly, stepping back from the railing, all the while looking around furtively.

Gabby attempted to follow Melissa's gaze but it was all over the place. What was her ex-girlfriend so afraid of? A few moments later Melissa was continuing to retreat, shaking her head, clearly having seen something that spooked her.

"You didn't come alone?"

There was genuine terror in Melissa's voice and it startled Gabby. Alec wasn't someone anyone needed to be afraid of. Least of all Melissa. "I'm still technically working, Missy. Alec's just doing me a favour so I could make sure you were okay. Which you're clearly not."

"I have to go," Melissa said forcefully. "It's not safe."

Gabby was trying desperately to be patient. She could see that Melissa was feeling genuinely terrorised, but she couldn't help her impatience and exasperation. "Quit it, will ya? Just tell me what's going on."

"Don't trust anyone."

What the Hell? Were they living an episode of The X-Files? Was Melissa going to tell her the truth is out there next? "About what? You need to stop talking in riddles, Missy."

Melissa's hands rubbed over her face several times, she was apparently thinking about her next move. Gabby honestly thought she might just turn tail and disappear down the boardwalk. Until she heard her ex-girlfriend speak, at that point everything started to fall into focus.

"Nothing is what it seems. I get why you don't even question the veracity of Jane and I coming back together romantically, but we haven't. We aren't. It's just a ruse."

Gabby was focused, but she still felt incredulous. She arched an eyebrow. "Why? What's the point of it?"

"Because it was the only way I thought we could make Kelly leave, for her own safety." Melissa started pacing back and forth across the width of the boardwalk, stopping and waiting for an elderly couple enjoying some gelato to walk by. She looked back at Gabby once they were out of earshot, "He's here in Launceston. He drugged Jane yesterday afternoon and uh…"

Gabby was immediately at Melissa's side when she realised the seriousness of her admission. She rubbed her ex-girlfriend's back in an attempt to ease the clear distress she was in. She led her away from the boardwalk towards the giant steps of the concrete levee nearby to afford them some more privacy. "What happened?"

"He uh, I think he would have killed us both if I hadn't begged him not to and offered to do anything." Melissa may have been hesitant to speak to begin with, but now that she had started she clearly wasn't going to stop until she had it all out. "He uh, he wanted me to get rid of Kelly. Threatened to kill her, Jane and you if I didn't do as he said. I couldn't… I can't… Gabs… I can't lose any of you."

It was quite sobering realising a threat had been made on her life. The true horror of the situation wasn't yet sinking in though, her concerns were all with Melissa. Her ex had come face to face with the man who would have violently murdered her if not for timely intervention. There was a wave of relief she felt that Melissa had lived to tell the tale, but a serious level of anxiety was building within. She needed to know more. She needed to know everything.

"I know," Gabby cooed softly, pulling Melissa into her side and hugging her closely. "You did what you thought was best, I get it. I'm glad Jane had your back. I don't understand the choice, but that's okay. We can fix this. Just tell me everything about this guy. I will catch him, Missy. I promise you."

"You need to stay away from this Gabby. He said no cops. He also said Jane has to stay away from Maura. So you know, this whole thing, we knew it would get back to her. It's just a great way to keep everyone safe right now while Jane and I try to figure this out."

It seemed that the comfort she was offering was doing a good job at calming Melissa's nerves. Allowing her to freely articulate more details. Gabby didn't like the details she was being presented with, because they threatened to shut her out of trying to help the situation. Every fibre of her being fought against the idea of sitting idly by while Jane played hero. She had no doubt Jane could play the hero, she was a very sharp mind after all, but this weird scenario was impacting everyone she cared about.

"Can I at least tell Maura what's going on?"

Melissa's arms finally wrapped around her middle and held on tightly. Her head shook against her chest quite emphatically. "No," she warned, "You can't say anything. You can't say anything to anyone, not even Jane. We agreed to carry this burden ourselves, she'll be pissed off if she finds out I told you."

"I don't understand. Why are you saying anything at all if you don't want my help?"

Melissa pulled back to arms length, her face broadcast quite clearly the depth of feeling that brought them back together over and over again. Her face looked so sad when she said, "I wanted to make sure you knew there was a threat out there. I don't know how you fit into this, if you even do. I don't know if you're still in danger or if you're just a pawn he's using to control Jane and I. I just know that I could never forgive myself if something happened to you… or Alexis, because you didn't know."

The concern for her girlfriend was not something Gabby had seen coming, but she realised quite quickly that the concern was genuine by simple association. Alexis mattered to her, therefore in this very special circumstance, perhaps even in all circumstances moving forward, she mattered to Melissa. It was an indication of the genuine love and affection her ex still held for her and it was touching. It thawed some of the ice that had been building up around her heart during the last few months because of Melissa's actions. This was a glimpse of the woman she had loved for the longest time. The briefest glimpse, that if she had only seen more often in recent history could very well have changed their trajectory, if not for the Kelly of it all.

"Promise me, Gabby."

Gabby blinked and refocused her attention on Melissa. "Huh?"

"Don't breathe a word to anyone and as far as Jane is concerned, be the giant arsehole I know you would be if we hadn't talked."

Gabby couldn't contain her smirk. She wanted to be offended, naturally, but who was she kidding? Melissa knew her all too well. Not to mention her attitude over the weekend may as well have been a neon flashing sign stating, 'I'm an arsehole'.

"That much I can do, happily." Gabby wasn't surprised to see the frown appear on Melissa's face at her statement, but what else could she say? Apart from a two or three week period, she and Jane had practically been mortal enemies from the moment they met. Some things were just written in stone and her rivalry with Jane was one of them.

"Why do you hate Jane so much, Gabby? She's a good woman."

It was a fair question and it was one she had been asked a few times in the past, but she refused to ever answer seriously then. Now however, staring at the broken shell of the love of her life, a woman she'd had no choice but to walk away from romantically, she felt she owed an honest answer. Even if it wouldn't be one that would be appreciated. "Because I was happy, Missy. Before Jane came barrelling into our lives, I was happy. Maura and I had a future that could have been beautiful. But friggin' Jane had to show up and trigger all my damn jealousy."

"And I was happy with Jane, or at least I would have been." Melissa's tone was terse as she pulled completely away from Gabby. "You threw everything into question. I begged you not to, Gabby. I begged you to leave it alone and go back to Maura. What if you'd listened to me, huh? What if they'd never had a chance to kiss? Look in the damn mirror sometime."

Melissa's chest was puffed out and her eyes were wild. She looked ready to fight if she had to. The worst of it was that her words were like vicious punches, and each and every one of them hit hard. Gabby literally took a step back from the force of the words sent her way. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened looking for a rebuttal but she had nothing. She quickly zipped her mouth closed again and just stared at her ex-girlfriend.

"For what it's worth," Melissa's eyes and voice softened dramatically, "I believe it. I backed off for a reason back then Gabs, because I could see she made you happy. That's all I ever wanted for you. That's all I want for you now."

Gabby's phone vibrated in her pocket. She glanced over towards the car park and saw Alec standing by the vehicle waving in her direction. This was taking too long. She sighed. They were finally talking, being open and honest and it was hurting, but it was necessary. She quickly flicked him a message asking for a few more minutes before focusing on Melissa once more.

"I never understood what she had that I didn't. That I don't. We've never connected the way you two do."

Melissa searched her eyes and Gabby let her. She let her see her genuine heartache and pain. She let her see all the unanswered questions. She let her see everything, because why not? They had both moved on. There was no coming back, not really. They might still end up being the person each other leaned on, but that was a habit. It would change, eventually. Maybe.

"Oh Gabby," there was such sadness in Melissa's voice again as she stepped much closer, invading her personal space. Her hand reached out to gently cup her cheek, which Gabby absolutely leaned into, her eyes closing, her mind flashing back to a different time. "We did have that once. Before Rachael. Before I broke your heart. Jane gives me that without the heartache tainting us. Or I guess, mutual heartache cancelling it out. I really did want to make it work with you when I let her go, Gabs. I tried."

"You just had to follow your dreams, which led you to Kelly. She was a lot like Jane huh? Something fresh, untainted, honest?"

Melissa nodded slowly, tears rolling down her face as she stepped back, her hand falling down to her side. Gabby had no idea what Hell she was going through in her mind, but it was clear as day on her face that she was really struggling. She got her answer.

"It was. Until this morning. Jane may have taken the lead in the situation, but I stood there as we basically lied to her. It doesn't matter if she forgives me when the truth comes out Gabby, we've lost what we had that was special. It's gone. There's no getting it back. All I can do now is make sure Jane never finds that out. She won't forgive herself."

From where Gabby stood it was quite curious that Melissa's thoughts circled back around to Jane. And yet it was quite clear her affection for Kelly was genuine and that everything that had happened between those two had never really crossed the line of dishonesty. Until now. It made sense why her ex clung to honesty like it was the most important thing, because dishonesty had sewed the seeds of mistrust between them. It had destroyed what was pure and beautiful about their love.

It had never been the same after the affair with Rachael had become known, even though they had tried. Even though she had moved on from the betrayal and had chosen to trust Melissa with everything she had. It suddenly made so much sense. She found a clarity she had been lacking. She wasn't the problem. Hell, Melissa wasn't even the problem between them. It was that a mistake had compounded into many, because they didn't have safe open communication at the time. They had struggled. Yes Melissa had been the one to make a few mistakes, but if she hadn't become so jealous and pushy about Rachael in the first place, Melissa may have been able to approach her with the confusion she was feeling. They should have pushed through it together as a couple, instead Melissa felt like she was alone trying to process a difficult situation. Melissa muddled through it as best as she could and made a complete fucking mess of it.

"Well fuck," Gabby whispered, sitting down on the concrete and casting her gaze across the grass toward the boardwalk and river beyond it. She was hating Jane for no reason. The damage to her relationship with Melissa was done by herself a long, long time ago.

Gabby pulled her eyes from the river and locked on to blue eyes that looked confused. There was something else she realised. Something else that mattered, not so much to her, but very much so to Melissa. At least, it might one day. "Don't keep anything from Jane. Don't lie to her. You two have an honest relationship. You always have and I think I always hated that, but now I'm glad you have that. You need that. She won't punish you for speaking to me. She won't punish you for anything you do if you're honest. I don't think that's who she is. Not with you anyway."

Melissa's brow furrowed, her confusion only deepening. "I don't understand."

Gabby smiled grimly, "Oh I know. One day you will. You can thank me then." She glanced down at her watch and back towards her ex-girlfriend, "But I really do have to go. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Melissa didn't sound at all convincing. "I'm just gonna stay here a while."

Leaving was the last thing she wanted to do, she was still very concerned about Melissa's mental stability, but she was out of time. She didn't really have a choice in the matter. She couldn't throw her career away, not for her past. She had to trust Melissa would be okay. Gabby sighed and half waved as she stood to leave, it was a hollow gesture. It felt wrong. She was pretty much abandoning Melissa when she needed her and it felt downright awful. "Call me if you need me."

Melissa gave her a ghost of a smile and nodded, sitting down on the steps of the levee and looking out over the grass beyond the boardwalk to the river, much like Gabby had done not long before. "I'll be fine."

Gabby quickly strode away, dodging a couple of kids that were chasing after a soccer ball. She hesitated for a moment, turned and glanced back. She saw the same woman she had left sitting there, and yet she felt so unsettled. Something wasn't right, but there wasn't anything she herself could do. She pulled out her phone and called Jane.

"Is she okay?"

The first words out of Jane's mouth were ambiguous. The 'she' could have been one of two people and yet in that moment Gabby knew Jane wasn't asking about her ex-fiancée. Fifteen minutes prior and that would have agitated her so much. She would have absolutely ripped into Jane for fucking with Maura like that. For fucking with Melissa too for that matter, but not now. Not after that conversation. Not after that realisation. Not with her very real concerns.

"No, she's not. She's at Royal park, sitting on the levee. River side. You need to hurry." She spoke factually, urgently, respectfully. There was no time for games. No time for agitation. There was no time to argue.

"I'm five minutes away, don't leave her alone. Please Gabby, don't leave her alone." Jane pleaded.

Gabby closed her eyes and hung her head, Alec was going to be mad. "I won't," she promised.

The silence of the call having ended was all that greeted her after that promise. At least Jane was serious about making it there fast. Gabby realised she must have already been out and about looking for Melissa to be so close by and she was thankful. There was a reason she had entrusted Melissa's mental health with Jane, even though she practically hated the woman. She was solid. She suffered from a bit of a saviour complex, but she was solid. It wasn't so good for her relationship with Maura, but in that moment Gabby realised that as much as she cared deeply for Maura, it would never compare to how much Melissa mattered to her and would always matter to her. If keeping Melissa safe blurred lines for Jane, well, who the Hell was she to judge? It sucked for her best friend, it sucked exponentially, but she was the one that put everything into play. She was the one that set Jane free. Maura was the one that would have to bear the cross, because she herself was done hating Jane and Melissa for the closeness of their relationship. Melissa needed Jane and Gabby needed Melissa to be happy.

"I'm literally the worst fucking friend," Gabby muttered as she opened the passenger side door of the unmarked cruiser and poked her head in to look at Alec.

"Why's that?" Alec asked, having heard her proclamation.

"We don't have all day, but I do need five more minutes. I need to make sure that Missy's okay until Jane gets here." Gabby responded.

Alec looked like he was deep in thought before he eventually said, "She really does lean on Jane, doesn't she?"

Gabby laughed almost bitterly, "I called Jane. Missy is struggling." She didn't know what else to say, she didn't want to lie to him, he was her partner, but she wanted to respect Melissa's wishes of saying nothing, to anyone.

"What about her wife?" He asked casually, "Isn't that why you broke up? Because she's married and her wife's in town?"

Gabby resisted the temptation to groan. Why was it that she felt the need to inform him of every aspect of her romantic life lately? Perhaps because he had been her shelter in this shitstorm. She considered her words carefully, "It's my understanding that that relationship is over."

He nodded, "Well I understand that Missy is important to you and if you're worried she might do something stupid before Jane gets here, then we'll stay until she arrives."

"Thanks Alec. I know it's never made much sense to you why I've kept her in my life given all she's put me through, so I truly appreciate your understanding on this." She turned around to look through the family milling around the barbeque but couldn't get a good enough view, so she closed the car door and navigated her way back beyond the barbeque setting until she could locate Melissa. She was still just sitting there, seemingly staring off into the distance. She wanted to get closer, but didn't think it wise. The last thing Melissa needed was for Jane to show up while she was close by, it would cause her unnecessary stress.

The sound of a car door slamming filtered into her mind. She didn't turn to look. She just knew. The disturbance in the air beside her as Jane's tall, lanky figure pulled up beside her only confirmed it. Gabby raised her hand and pointed across the grass, "She's over there."

Jane nodded and took several hurried steps forward before pausing and turning to look at her, "She told you, didn't she?"

Gabby had two choices. She could lie or she could tell the truth. They both knew the truth. She hadn't bitten Jane's head off. Hell, she'd called her in the first place. Her answer would only be for show, and well, she decided for Melissa's sake she'd go for show, so that Melissa could be the one to tell the truth on the matter. It was important moving forward. "That you two are back together? Yeah, she told me."

Jane's dark eyes flashed with momentary confusion before she nodded slowly in recognition, offering a half-tired smile before turning and running as fast her legs could carry her in Melissa's direction.

Gabby sighed and turned to head back to the vehicle, almost startling herself when Alec appeared in front of her. "We're good, we can go now."

Alec was silent for a moment, a puzzled look on his face. He was clearly looking past her towards where Melissa and Jane were. He glanced back in her direction and said, "I thought Jane and Maura were engaged?"

Gabby turned to see what it was that prompted his observation and quickly realised there was no amount of truth or understanding of the circumstances that could prepare her for witnessing Jane and Melissa kiss so passionately. She sucked in a deep breath and shook her head, "Yeah, so now you know why Missy is so messed up. Something happened between those two last night and the result is a shitstorm of epic proportions. Kelly's gone. Maura's heartbroken and Missy, well I dunno, I think she's so damn confused and heartbroken herself."

"Huh, well ain't that a kick to the nuts." He observed drily, turning and heading back towards the vehicle. "Come on Wilson, we've got work to do. Missy has Rizzoli to keep her safe now. She'll be fine."

Gabby took one last look at Jane sweeping Missy into her arms and holding her close. It practically choked her up, it wasn't comfortable to witness, no matter how much she knew it was for show. It wasn't comfortable because she understood all too well that which she doubted Melissa understood at all. Her ex-girlfriend was still very much in love with Jane Rizzoli and playing make believe was the last damn thing she needed. Jane was going to break her heart all over again, except this time Melissa wasn't going to see it coming.

---

With a day to fill in before her flight from Launceston to Sydney with subsequent connection flight to Honolulu, Kelly had booked a room at the Country Club Casino. She could have easily had a bite to eat at the venue itself, but she decided she wanted to just get out of her head for a while. She did a quick internet search for nearby eating establishments with good reviews and settled on visiting Arnie's Bar & Grill for the afternoon. The food had great reviews and the place also sold alcohol, which given the morning she'd had was exactly what she felt she needed.

There were a few patrons, but the place appeared relatively quiet, which didn't bother Kelly in the slightest. She ordered a vodka double on arrival and was seated in a booth at the back. She perused the menu and picked out the grilled salmon with a seasonal side salad. She sipped her vodka and glanced around the establishment, two patrons sat at the bar while a group of friends were laughing and drinking at a table across the way. She spied the jukebox and dug some coins out of her pocket, quickly navigating across the room to make several selections before returning to her assigned booth.

It wasn't long before Christina's Perri's Jar of Hearts could be heard over the din of conversation. Kelly soaked in the song and took several larger gulps of the vodka, finishing what was left in the glass. She would need another. The song choices were only going to get worse for anyone who was trying to enjoy a positive vibe. She wasn't in the mood for the happy go lucky shit. She wanted to listen to the real tear jerkers. She wanted to settle into her pain because if the last six months had taught her anything it was that hopefully holding on only led to more heartache. She needed to feel it and move on. She was done with Melissa. She was done with Jane. She was done with the whole lot of them.

As far as Kelly was concerned she couldn't get out of Launceston fast enough. She was ready to leave the place in the dust. The only positive memory she had left from the city was her brief fling years prior. They had been like two ships passing in the night, she hadn't even given the woman her first name. Just a play on her middle name. It was a great week, but when it was time to go home it was done. Neither of them were interested in anything long term. It was nice having a little no strings fun and it actually turned out the way it was intended. It was better than her usual habit of intending no strings but ending up falling head over feet only for the relationship to go down in flames, because her choices in women had never been good. Melissa hadn't been any different.

Kelly wondered what had become of the woman she had met the last time she had been in Launceston. She hoped she had found more success in life and love than she had. It was an incredibly sad state of affairs that a random fling from years ago was the only romantic encounter she could look back on and remember fondly, because she sure wasn't going to remember a damn thing about Melissa fondly.

"I am so done." Kelly muttered quietly as she read the drinks menu, considering ordering something different. Vodka was good at getting her drunk but it really wasn't the most enjoyable drink straight. Perhaps she wouldn't order a straight double next time.

A vodka double appeared in front of her and Kelly's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She hadn't ordered another drink yet. Curiosity getting the better of her she looked up and locked eyes with hauntingly familiar silver ones.

Alexis spoke before paying too much attention to the widened eyes staring at her. "Something tells me you could use this. On the house."

Kelly blinked and shook her head, resisting the temptation to rub her eyes like a cartoon character. "Lexi?" She asked, mind absolutely blown that the woman she had just been thinking about was standing in front of her having delivered her a drink. Was she dreaming? This day was getting more and more outlandish by the minute. What the actual fuck?

Alexis froze, her eyebrows shot up in obvious surprise. Recognition was clear as day in her eyes. "Annie?"

"I was literally just thinking about you." Kelly admitted, "Way too creepy."

Alexis laughed and slid into the booth opposite Kelly. "Here I was just bringing a drink to the person who made my jukebox look like an Adele album on steroids."

Kelly chuckled because there was absolutely an Adele song in the queue. "Your jukebox huh?"

"My restaurant, actually."

Kelly smiled wide. She remembered the long nights tangled in each other's arms and the mornings wrapped in the sheets discussing their wildest dreams. "So you made it happen? That's awesome."

"I did," Alexis confirmed, pausing for a moment to search green eyes staring back at her. "Wow. I can't believe it's you. What are you doing back in Launceston?"

"My wife lives here."

"Oh. Lovers tiff?" Alexis asked.

Kelly shook her head a couple of times. Not even close. She sighed. "I wish."

"So you really did need this drink." Alexis motioned at the glass she had brought over.

"At this point a lobotomy might be preferred."

"Surely it can't be that bad?"

Kelly wasn't sure if she should be spilling her guts to her one time fling, but who else did she have to talk to? She sure couldn't talk to Jane. Just thinking of her former friend sent ripples of rage surging through her blood. There was no point commiserating with Maura either, because that woman's damn insecurities had led them to this point. What on earth was she thinking setting Jane free like that? Why the Hell would she do that? It was so damn senseless. So pointless. So faithless.

"This morning I awoke to my wife returning home practically arm in arm with what was a good friend of mine."

"Some friend," Alexis muttered, clearly reading between the lines. Not that it was hard to do so in this instance.

"So yeah, cheers to my last night in this Hell hole." Kelly picked up the glass, knocked the air as if she was clinking glasses and sculled the vodka down as fast as she could before placing the empty glass on the table. "Thanks for the drink."

Alexis tapped her fingers against the tabletop all the while continuing to study Kelly closely. Finally she said, "I think you need a friend more than you need anything else to drink. Join me and my girlfriend for dinner tonight. She'll be very good at empathising with your situation in her own way."

Kelly could say this about the people of Launceston, they were sure friendly. Perhaps their fling had been remembered just as fondly by the woman watching her studiously while she sat there mulling the offer over. What the Hell? It was better than being alone. "Only if that fish you cooked back in the day is on the menu, God what was it…"

"Barramundi?" Alexis sought to clarify.

"Yeah that's it."

"I'm pretty sure I can make that happen. I'll be right back."

Kelly watched Alexis walk across the restaurant and disappear into a back room. When she returned she handed over a business card with her contact number on it. Kelly accepted it and said, "Thanks."

"My address is written on the back. I hope you do show up tonight. Nobody should be alone after something like that."

No, they really shouldn't.

---

Melissa understood precisely the fear that Gabby was walking away with. She was worried about history repeating. She was worried that life had beaten her down to the point that once again she would attempt to take her own life. She'd seen it in her eyes. The reluctance to leave, despite it clearly being necessary.

Melissa couldn't watch her walk away, because she knew in the past, job be damned. Gabby would have never walked away from her in a situation like this, but times had changed. She wasn't quite that high on the totem pole of Gabby's life priorities anymore and she was okay with that. She had to be. It was difficult at the moment because life had indeed beaten her down. She was facing so much uncertainty and the one person who had been her rock for the last few weeks was gone. She might not ever come back. She was down to one.

God, Jane.

Melissa blinked, refocusing on the Tamar Estuary ahead. The water really wasn't attractive at all, the silt build up in the estuary left it looking very brown. It looked a lot better closer to the coast. She didn't mind though. Across the way the King's Bridge crossed over the mouth of the South Esk River where it emerged from the Cataract Gorge. Hills on either side were covered in trees, although there were houses peppering the hill on the right. There were boats docked at the yacht club and the tide was high. It was quite beautiful if you ignored the colour of the water.

Melissa did everything she could to focus on the picturesque landscape ahead of her. She could hear the laughter of kids nearby and the sound of a ball being kicked around. The sun was high and the temperature was nice, a soft breeze tickled her skin. It would have been a perfect moment, if not for the nagging voice in the back of her head pushing her to think about Jane. To interpret why the heck she had looked into her eyes that morning and thought they were so damn beautiful. It's not that Jane didn't have beautiful eyes, they were dark and piercing, but absolutely beautiful. There was no denying that. It was just a fact. However, for her to have an active thought about that was a throwback to an earlier time. She'd been mesmerised by those eyes when they first met, not that she'd truly acknowledged it then. She didn't have to. Everything else about Jane had drawn her in and she had fallen head over heels in love before she'd even realised what had happened.

She had wanted to talk to Gabby about it, despite knowing that was probably the worst idea she'd had since leaving the bar and taking Talia home back in Chicago. She just couldn't bring herself to do so. She was absolutely, unequivocally in love with Kelly. So why the Hell was she looking at Jane like that? Thinking about her eyes like that? Why the Hell was she feeling the tug of an attraction. God, she couldn't deny it, not even in her own head. That moment back at the motel when their hands had briefly touched, she'd flashed back to their first kiss. She knew then she had to retreat. She still went back. Why did she go back?

She shook that thought away, because if she hadn't gone back, what would have become of Jane? Would he have simply murdered her? Would he have brought some other nefarious idea into play? As much as she questioned why she had even returned, she was thankful she did. She was thankful Jane was safe.

It was more than that moment though, if she were honest. Her entire body had come to life when Jane had held her from behind and kissed her neck. God she had yearned for Jane's touch to continue, her body ached for it. It had taken every ounce of self control she had to focus on Maura and use her existence as the cold shower her body desperately needed to cool its embers. Then Jane looked at her like she was the only one, again. Pulling away from her in that moment was the last act of self preservation she could manage. She felt like she wanted Jane to claim her, to take her, to touch her, but circumstances were extreme. She was absolutely traumatised. It could have been Gabby in that moment and she'd have felt the same way, Hell it could have been Maura.

Melissa exhaled slowly. Of course she was feeling sexual attraction to Jane at the moment, her entire world was falling to pieces and Jane was doing everything she could to protect her. She'd fucked women for a lot less during the last few months. She breathed a little easier from understanding that it was natural for her. It didn't have to mean anything overly dramatic. It wasn't about romantic feelings. It was simply the call of her very twisted nature. It was her body and mind trying to forget the memories terrorising her every waking minute. She had to be really careful not to blur the lines. Thankfully Gabby knew the truth. If they ran into Maura, Jane was a respectful woman, there'd be no need to fake anything, because if their ruse was real life, Jane would be respectful and wouldn't rub their relationship in Maura's face. She was in the clear. It would be okay. She would control those urges and if she couldn't she'd find a stranger to bed.

"Fuck," she growled. She couldn't do that. She couldn't bed a stranger. Kelly might think they were broken up, but in her heart they were not. They wouldn't be until the truth was out and Kelly decided she was still done. Melissa really hoped that wouldn't happen.

"Damnit Missy, I've been so worried." Jane appeared in front of her, breathing deeply with her hands on her hips.

Melissa immediately stood up. She cast a quick glance in the direction of the car park and public barbeque, she saw Gabby standing there. She glanced back to Jane whose hands were already on her shoulders, gripping them tightly. She remembered what Gabby said about telling the truth. That she could trust Jane not to over react. Honesty was something severely lacking in her life currently and she couldn't stand it.

Wait, what? No.

Melissa's hand came up for a moment, stopping Jane from leaning all the way in. "I told Gabby the truth, Jane. You don't need to…"

Jane silenced her with a kiss. She'd seen a flicker of acknowledgment in her friend's eyes right before their lips met. Her hand that had been intended to slow Jane's progress splayed against her abdomen while her other hand instinctively went to the small of Jane's back and pulled her closer. At some point the kiss actually deepend and she couldn't tell you who had initiated it. It may have been her. It may have been Jane. Melissa just knew it was happening and arousal shot straight through her body.

Fuck.

It was too much. She knew it. She was aching in all the wrong places from a kiss with a friend. She tore herself away and stepped into Jane, burying her face against her collarbone. She felt Jane's arms wrap tightly around her and she sobbed violently. "I'm so, so sorry," she cried out, clinging tightly, her nails digging into her friend's back.

"Sshhh, it's okay." Jane cooed into her ear. "It's okay, I understand."

No Jane you don't. Fuck.

Melissa closed her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing. She tried to calm herself down. She wasn't apologising for telling Gabby. She wasn't sorry for that. She needed to know. She was apologising for taking the kiss too far. She was apologising for the flashes of their previous lovemaking that danced across the back of her eyelids while they were kissing. She was apologising for that ache between her legs. She was apologising for coming out here in the first place. For contemplating taking her own life, because she had been. The damage they had done to her relationship with Kelly was simply too much. She didn't know how to cope with it without sex or booze. She was so fucking broken that she'd let Jane take her there and then in public if she so desired. That was problematic.

"I'm sorry for doing that, but Alec was right there." Jane whispered.

Jane really didn't trust anyone did she? Melissa shuddered and pulled back a little, but Jane still clung to her. Their eyes locked and she couldn't help herself, she leaned back in and found Jane's lips hungrily, desperately and with an urgency she hadn't felt in a long time. It was primal. It wasn't enough. She couldn't sate her desire. Her tongue flicked out, lightly grazing across Jane's lips and before she knew it they were tangled again, tongues entwined in a desperate tango.

"Fuck," Melissa moaned into Jane's mouth.

Jane was kissing her back just as hard, just as hungrily, just as urgently. Her entire body was on fire. They were in public. Fuck. She pushed her arm out forcefully, using her forearm to leverage herself away from Jane in a desperate move to prevent them both from continuing down a very bad path. Jane's arms dropped to her sides, but her chest was heaving and her pupils were dilated. She was clearly aroused too and that terrified Melissa. She backed up and side stepped in an attempt to put some distance between them. She had to run. She couldn't be around Jane right now. She couldn't control herself.

Jane took a step forward, her hand out, desperation in her eyes. It was as if she knew what was about to happen. "Missy, don't. I understand. You need this. I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you."

Melissa took another step backwards, shaking her head vigorously. This was wrong. So many levels of wrong. Neither of them wanted this. Jane was just afraid she was going to end her own life. She was just like Gabby. Terrified.

Melissa absolutely needed sex at this point. She needed someone to touch her and bring her undone, but it mattered who. It couldn't be Jane. Maura would never forgive Jane and Kelly, well Kelly would never forgive her either. It had to be a stranger. If Kelly couldn't forgive that, well then she'd find another stranger to take that ache away. She'd fucking figure it out. It just couldn't be Jane.

"Don't follow me."

Of course Jane wasn't listening. Melissa felt the woman practically marching side by side with her as she tried to storm away. She cast a sideways glance and quickly returned her focus on the path of retreat. The look of utter desperate fear on Jane's face was almost too much to handle. "Damnit Jane, you need to let me go."

"Let me take you home," Jane begged.

Melissa couldn't be sure if it was fear, desire or both driving her friend. It was the perfect manipulation, she realised. The combination of her weakness and Jane's saviour complex. She was the bait. Jane was walking right into the trap he'd laid and she couldn't allow it. Why the Hell had they been so blind?

"And what, Jane? Take me home and what? Stop and think."

"I am thinking," Jane said, grabbing Melissa by the wrist and tugging, waiting for her to turn to face her before continuing. "I'm thinking that I can't lose you. Like it or not you're all I have right now. I know you're barely holding on. I know what you were out here thinking about. I know you, Missy."

"Then commit me," Melissa ground out dangerously. "Don't destroy any chance you have of getting Maura back. Don't put that on me, because right now Jane…"

"No!" Jane roared. "I'm not like her. I'm not going to commit you for my fucking convenience."

Melissa couldn't help but wonder which 'her' Jane was referring to because it could have been Gabby or Maura since they were both responsible for what had happened in the past. She shook her head free of the thoughts. It did her no good to be staring at Jane. Her eyes pierced her soul. The ache between her legs only worsened. "You need to commit me or let me go right now Jane, because if you don't…"

"Use me." Jane said firmly. "I know what this is. I know what you need. I can't have you out there doing God knows what with a stranger. Or taking a drink, or…"

"Or what Jane? Say it. Spit it out." Melissa needed Jane to say it. She needed her friend to realise that what was happening wasn't what either of them wanted. She needed her friend to understand they were being expertly manipulated into blowing up their entire lives. She needed her to realise that there was only one healthy option. She needed to check into the hospital. She needed to be locked up.

"...taking your own life." The wind was quite obviously knocked out of Jane's sails the moment she verbalised it.

Melissa slowly and gently removed Jane's hand from her wrist because the tight grip had been sending flashes through her mind of things they absolutely shouldn't be doing. It was too dangerous being around Jane with her entire sense of self completely blown to pieces by her current state of emotional distress. They were both walking a precarious tight rope of emotion, their senses battered by so much negative stimuli that they quite naturally reached out in an attempt to cling to the only solid thing they could, each other. Except it was all an illusion. There was nothing solid about either one of them, they merely appeared that way to one another because they yearned to be that for each other. They yearned to protect one another. It was their strength. It was also very much their weakness.

Maura and Kelly's fears suddenly made so much sense. Jane was her weakness. She was Jane's. In the right set of circumstances, or as it was, a very wrong set of circumstances, they absolutely were capable of monumentally fucking up. The realisation made Melissa feel sick to her stomach, because she understood that when all was said and done, they had to move on from one another. They couldn't remain friends. Not if either of them were to have a hope in Hell of salvaging their relationships. She wasn't sure she could. How on earth was she supposed to walk away from Jane? It almost killed her doing it the first time. It may have been different then, but romance didn't come into it this time. She simply needed Jane in her life on a cellular level. To not have her there, it just wasn't fathomable. It was why she'd had the courage to move when he had shown up. It was why she had begged. It was why they were now in the most fucked up situation.

Melissa pressed her hand against the concrete of the levee, her head hung low as she tried to breathe through the nausea rolling through her stomach. She felt Jane's concerned hand against her back. She felt her breath when she asked if she was okay. She felt the comfort Jane provided. Jane was her only source of comfort and she wanted to latch on so badly that the nausea only worsened. "Oh God," she uttered almost inaudibly.

Fresh tears fell down her face. She turned her head away, refusing to allow Jane to see. Jane would fall on her sword for her and she simply couldn't allow it. It didn't matter how the chips would inevitably fall once all was said and done. It didn't matter whether or not she would be able to live with herself. She knew, she had to walk away. She might even have to do it right now. Jane couldn't lose Maura over her, she simply couldn't.

"Missy, talk to me. What's wrong?" Jane's voice was strained, the stress of the situation clearly getting to her.

"Everything, Jane. What are we doing here?" Melissa stood and faced Jane, summoning what little internal fortitude she had left. It was difficult staring into those dark, stormy eyes. It was difficult facing the desperate concern on Jane's face. The way her jaw clenched in an attempt to fortify herself. Jane knew it was wrong, surely. She knew that they were so close to falling over the edge into the abyss of one another. She had to know. She had to finally understand that this was what was wrong between them.

Jane swallowed, choking back saliva or emotion, Melissa couldn't tell. She just waited, anticipating Jane saying something, anything. Finally she did.

"I… I don't know Missy. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I don't fucking know. I just know I couldn't stop worrying about you. I knew something was wrong. Christ, if Gabby hadn't called me… if something had happened to you…"

"But it didn't. Don't let your broken heart and his mind games beat you Jane. I need you to be strong, because right now I'm hangin' by a thread."

"What if it's not that?"

Jane had spoken so quietly that Melissa almost hadn't heard her, but she did and the question stopped her in her tracks. Of course they were feeling things right now, but they weren't real. They wouldn't stand the test of time. It would quickly turn to regret. "It's not real, Jane. You know that."

Jane was in her personal space before she'd even finished her sentence. Jane's fingers brushed through her hair. Jane was the moth and she was the flame. Melissa choked down a rising tide of emotion and looked away. Her will power was waning. She didn't understand at all what was happening. Jane was meant to be the strong one. She was meant to be the one that made the morally correct choices. Why on earth was she leaning into the worst decision either of them could ever make?

Jane took her hand and placed it against her chest. She felt Jane's heart throbbing rapidly against her ribcage. Jane tilted her face back around so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "Have you ever stopped to consider why they were so afraid of our closeness? Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe they could see what we couldn't?"

Right this minute, actually.

Every single cell in Melissa's body was screaming, her heart ached and her stomach lurched. This wasn't real. This was a mistake. This was exactly what Kelly had warned her about. Heightened emotions. Cloudy thinking. Poor decisions. Melissa fell back into the wall as Jane pressed against her, her lips ghosting across her neck, which she allowed easy access to with the quick tilt of her head. They were near the end of the levee, there were shrubs around, they were kind of secluded, but they were still mere metres away from the rest of civilization. "Jane," she attempted to warn, but the name fell from her lips so wantonly.

"I don't think I ever got over you," Jane whispered against her neck as she continued to press soft lingering kisses in the spot that she knew all too well would melt Melissa's defences. It wasn't desire talking. Jane sounded quite genuine. "And I don't think I want to."

The latter statement was absolutely driven by desire. Melissa could tell from the low, guttural growl that followed and the hands that snaked their way underneath her shirt to find skin to skin contact against her waist. This was escalating fast and it was getting out of hand. Jane would hate herself when she came down from the arousal clouding her judgement. Melissa already hated herself. She hated herself for what she had drawn out of Jane. She hated herself for the fact that she didn't care anymore. Her body had been on fire for so long she needed to quench her thirst, but not here. Not in public. She turned into Jane's lips and practically begged, "Take me home," before sealing her request with a ferocious kiss.

---

Maura entered her office at the university and closed the door behind her. She had somehow managed to get through the morning without a crack in her public facade, but she was beginning to feel the weight of her new reality. She sat down at her desk and pulled an assignment from the pile due to be marked and flipped through it absently. That was a problem. Her students needed her eye for detail, not for her to misgrade papers because her heart is broken.

With an unceremoniously hefty sigh Maura tidied the paper and returned it to the pile to be marked later. She pulled her phone from the desk drawer and accessed her voice mail, much like she had done at lunch time. It had hit her hard then, hearing Kelly's words. She brought the phone to her ear and listened once again to the message that had completely rocked her day.

"Turns out we were right to worry, Maura. Trust me when I tell you that Jane isn't worth your time. She's with Missy now and no, it isn't something borne from a broken heart. It isn't payback. It isn't a fling. It isn't good fun. They're looking at each other like they're the only two people on the planet. So save yourself any more heartache, Maura. Forget about Jane. She's not yours. I don't think she ever was."

The entire message was a shock to her system, she was actually surprised that Jane had done what she was told to do. Jane exploring her feelings wasn't something she had anticipated actually happening, despite the express permission and encouragement she had given Jane on the subject. She was getting exactly what she asked for and now she stared at her phone, as if the device itself was the cause of her heartache, rather than her own insecurities and fears.

If it were not for the Sunday she spent talking with Gabby, her soul might have felt even more crushed than it currently did. Her time with Gabby reminded her that she was more than just a partner to Jane. She was a strong, independent, capable woman who had the world at her feet. She wasn't the socially awkward forensic pathologist that had first met Jane and been so grateful to be pulled into the Rizzoli family. She had her own family. Her own people. Her own support network. She didn't need to rely on Jane for anything. She didn't need Jane at all.

At least that's what she kept telling herself every time Kelly's final words bounced around her brain. "She's not yours. I don't think she ever was."

Kelly hadn't said anything she hadn't already been thinking. It was quite easy in hindsight to recognise her interpretation of the empirical evidence had been accurate. Jane had never truly chosen her, despite her protestations to the contrary. She had barely waited a day to make a move on Melissa. It left a very bitter taste in Maura's mouth, but she couldn't judge Jane for it because she had set her free. She had given her wings to fly wherever she wanted. That didn't stop it from hurting like Hell.

The worst of it was the immediate desire to reach out to Jane and speak to her in the hopes it was misinformation. In the hopes that Kelly somehow misinterpreted what was happening in front of her. In the hopes that Kelly was a scorned woman setting fires on her way out of town. Anything really, that would paint a picture of hope. She might be an independent woman, but that was the last thing she wanted to be. She wanted to be in a partnership. She thought she'd had that partnership, she truly did, but the signs were hard to ignore.

Maura sighed and scrolled through the contacts on her phone. She had a deep urge to speak with her mother Constance, but it was difficult. The subject she wanted to talk about was a secret she had been holding onto for years. Something she had been keeping from Constance at her father Arthur's insistence. It wouldn't be right to blow up her mother's life because of the long lasting imprint Arthur had left on her soul. A fourteen year old girl asked to lie for her father. No wonder she found it difficult to tell a lie as an adult.

No, she couldn't bring that up. Still, she had a much better relationship with her mother thanks in part to Jane and as a result she still wanted to make the call. After quickly consulting the itinerary her mother sent at the beginning of the month which indicated Constance was in San Francisco, Maura determined it was a reasonable hour to call.

"Good evening, Mother." Maura greeted when Constance answered the phone.

"Good afternoon Darling. Is everything alright?"

Once upon a time Constance wouldn't have even put a second thought into the timing of a call. She may not have even answered at all. Jane really had had a profound impact on her relationship with her mother. It warmed her heart to have this stronger mother daughter relationship with Constance.

"I… No, Mother. It isn't."

There was no point in lying. Besides being very bad at it, it would be disrespectful to the work her mother had put into strengthening their relationship.

"What's happened?"

"I believe I may have made a significant error in judgement." Maura's voice wavered a little, her composure waning. She felt like a little girl again, longing for her mother to hold her and make the bad feelings go away. She'd never received that as a child. She was fairly certain it had significantly stunted her emotional growth. So much of who she was now had come about from her time with the Rizzoli's and Gabby and her friends. Her emotional growth had accelerated exponentially once exposed to consistent nurturing relationships.

Maura heard some rustling in the background and then a moment later her mother came through more clearly. There was less background noise. Constance must have found somewhere private to speak.

"Is this about Jane, Darling?"

Maura pulled her phone away from her ear for a moment and stared at the device strangely before returning it to her ear. She was a little flummoxed by her mother's intuitiveness. She was curious. "Yes. How did you know?"

"You are an intelligent, independent woman my dear. You are not likely to call your mother over something trivial. You would simply learn your lesson and adjust for next time." Constance spoke matter-of-factly.

Her mother had a point. "Did you… have you… or rather…"

"Spit it out, Maura." Constance was firm, but Maura felt it came from a place of love.

"Have you ever had reason to doubt Arthur's love for you?"

The line went silent for a brief moment that felt like it dragged on for eternity. Maura knew she was poking around the line she shouldn't cross, but she just had to know if her mother had ever had an inkling about her father's infidelity.

"Yes."

Her mother's brutal honesty astounded Maura. Her heart beat more rapidly in her chest as she pondered whether her mother did in fact know the truth. She took several steadying breaths and asked, "How were you able to work through that uncertainty?"

"Chardonnay, lots of Chardonnay." Constance sounded amused. She was making a joke. Maura wasn't exactly sure what was happening but before she could say anything her mother continued. "Communication, Darling. Communication is key, and love, of course. Your father isn't a perfect man, he has made mistakes, but I love him. How does this pertain to Jane? Has she done something to earn your mistrust?"

That was a very good question. Had Jane truly done something worthy of mistrust? She certainly hadn't strayed during their relationship. She had been loyal and loving and thoughtful. Her only crime was caring about a woman that left Maura feeling insecure. She really had erred. Her fear of history repeating, of her father's history repeating, had clouded her thinking.

Oh dear.

"Not specifically. She has an unusually strong kinship with her ex-lover, who has been going through a very difficult time. She's been protective and supportive. Oh Mother, I really did make an error in judgement."

There was more silence on the line followed by a heavy sigh. "Did you two fight over this woman?"

"I left her because of this woman." Maura admitted bluntly. There was no point beating around the bush on this one. The truth was the truth.

"Did you have reason to believe she had been unfaithful, Darling?"

"I… no. I don't know. I… it's complicated."

"Is this because of your father?" Constance was clearly unhappy with herself and her husband, at least that was the sense Maura got from her tone.

"I…" she didn't know how to answer that without sharing the secret she dared not share.

"Your father told me what he made you do, Darling. I should have said something about this. I shouldn't have allowed you to carry that secret for so many years. I just wasn't comfortable confronting the situation. I did not think you would understand why I chose to stay with him."

Constance was right. Maura didn't understand at all. He had betrayed her mother. He had asked his fourteen year old child to hold that inside. She would never forgive a partner if they did that to her child, but that point was moot because she never intended to have children. She was terribly upset with the revelation Constance had clearly known for a while, but she had more pertinent things to worry about. She would process that entire situation at another time.

"I would be lying if I said that moment hasn't stayed with me. I pushed her away because I was afraid she would be just like Arthur. I was afraid she would be just like her own father. I didn't listen to her, Mother."

"Do you love her, Maura? I mean truly, unconditionally, love her? Because if you do, you know what you need to do. You need to make it right."

Maura shook her head. Perhaps if Jane hadn't already moved on with Melissa that would be plausible. "She's already…"

"She's what? Maura, is Jane involved with that woman?"

"It's third party information, so I cannot necessarily trust the veracity until I speak with Jane myself, but it appears so yes. I think I may have pushed her to it. I think she feels so very betrayed, Mother."

"Talk to her. Have an honest conversation. I have learned Jane is a stubborn woman. I can imagine she might just be the type to lash out when hurt. It's not appropriate behaviour at all, but then again neither is breaking off an engagement because of childhood fears. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face, Maura. She hasn't cheated on you. She's single. She's free. You made it so. If you want that to change? Fix it. Win her back. Earn her forgiveness."

Wow. Her mother wasn't pulling any punches. "I… Yes, Mother."

A sharp knock on her office door rang out and she grimaced, she would have liked to spend a little more time talking to Constance, but that would have to wait. "I have someone at my office door, thank you Mother. Talk soon."

"Goodbye, Darling."

Maura ended the call and called out, "One moment."

She needed that moment to compose herself after the conversation she had just had. Her head was swimming with the things her mother had said. She had to find her own truth in those words, because her mother's experience was her own. Still, she believed it had merit. She had set this heartbreaking scenario into motion, she would be the only one who could fix it. Well, with Jane's help, if she were willing to give it.

Maura opened the door and immediately felt a ripple of fear roll down her spine. The all too familiar light and navy blues of the Tasmanian Police uniform stood out. The name tag indicated this was Jane's training officer. Her eyes locked onto strikingly stunning blue eyes, but she cared not because he was speaking and she needed to focus.

"Doctor Maura Isles?" He asked.

"Yes. How can I help you, Senior Constable?"

Maura's outward presentation was cool and calm, but Jane's training officer standing at her door with his hat in his hands was quite nerve wracking. Was Jane okay? Did something happen on the job? There was no other reason for him to be standing there.

"We haven't been formally introduced, Doctor Isles. I'm Senior Constable Jacob Hilenbrandt. I'm Constable Rizzoli's training officer and I was hoping you might be able to help me with locating her."

Instant relief flooded her system with the realisation that he wasn't there to inform her of a serious injury or death. Her fear was replaced with intense curiosity. "She didn't show up for work today?"

"No ma'am, she called out. I need to speak to her about an urgent matter, but she's not answering her phone. I was hoping you might be able to help me get in contact with her."

"Of course," Maura said politely crossing the room to retrieve her phone from her desk. "Let me try calling." She didn't know for sure where Jane was, but she had a sneaking suspicion. When Jane didn't answer, which she didn't expect she would, she wrote down an address on a piece of paper and returned to him and gave him the information he was after. "You should be able to find her at that address."

Senior Constable Hillenbrandt accepted her offering, put his hat back on his head and said, "I'm sorry if I scared you, Doctor. I just realised my showing up like this may have been anxiety inducing. I'm truly sorry."

Maura studied his face for a moment, he was quite handsome, his jaw was defined and those eyes, oh they really were gorgeous. No wonder he thought he could coast through life, he was a modern day adonis. He seemed genuinely sincere though, which wasn't something she expected from a man Jane hadn't found a nice word for. She smiled politely and said, "You did have me worried for a moment, Senior Constable. Thank you for your kind words. I'll be sure to let Jane know you are looking for her when I see her."

He smiled and tipped his hat. "Thank you ma'am. Have a lovely day."

He disappeared as quickly as he had appeared and Maura pondered her knowledge of the man. Jane had called him lazy. He didn't strike her as that, perhaps the mundane aspects of the job simply bored the man. Oh well, it was neither here nor there. She wasn't the one that had to work with him. He was Jane's concern, not hers.

She hoped Jane was okay, but she wasn't too worried. No doubt Jane had called out of work to deal with Melissa's latest trauma, which Jane in her own way probably would have caused.

Maura shook her head and went back to work. There was a time and place for thinking about her disastrous personal life. In her office at the University of Tasmania was not the time, nor the place.

---

Jane was pretty sure she violated several traffic laws on the drive back to Melissa's house. It was either that or cause an accident, because the moment Melissa had stopped fighting the intense pull of attraction they were both feeling, her self restraint disappeared. Her hand had immediately found its way to Jane's inner thigh before they even managed to pull out onto Patterson Street and head for home.

Jane cast several sideways glances while trying to focus on traffic. She half wondered if Melissa was afraid she would change her mind, because she was teasing her inner thigh like a woman on a mission. Melissa needn't have worried though, she had zero intention of walking them back from the precipice. As much as she desired to ease Melissa's pain in the safest way possible, there was a part of her that yearned for the release this situation provided her. She wanted to bury herself in Melissa almost as desperately as her friend needed her touch. It was a win-win situation. Complicated. Messy. Completely fucking wrong, but Jane didn't care so long as they were both two consenting adults.

The truth was Jane had been beside herself with worry out on the streets looking for Melissa, when Gabby's call had come through. The moment she had seen the caller ID she couldn't help but assume the worst. There was no way Gabby would voluntarily contact her for anything less than a fucking emergency, not given everything with Maura at the moment. That split second left her stomach somewhere on the floor with how badly it dropped. She'd had to close her eyes when she answered and immediately asked after Melissa's well being. She had been that terrified that Melissa had given up the fight. She vowed at that moment that she would do whatever it took to keep Melissa safe. Because life without her was not an option.

Jane's arm was nearly yanked out of its socket when Melissa grabbed her hand and led her towards the house, barely giving her a chance to lock the car doors. She'd never experienced Melissa being this focused, this desperate, this obsessive. It was working for her though because as soon as they were inside the house and the front door was closed, Jane was on top of Melissa driving her into the wall, their lips met with an insatiable hunger. There was an intensity that would have floored her if Melissa's hands hadn't clutched her shirt in an attempt to seize the moment.

They bounced from one wall to the other as they clutched at one another fighting for control. Driven by their intense need to touch they were ripping clothes off haphazardly and tossing them aside, reconnecting at the mouth every time they had to break away. They were breathless much of the time, Jane's heart was racing and her clit throbbed painfully. She hoisted Melissa up and felt her legs wrap around her waist as she carried her towards the bedroom. Somehow through the haze of their mutual lusty desires she sought confirmation, "This is okay right? You do want this, right?"

Melissa broke away from where she had latched on to Jane's neck and made eye contact. The look on her face clearly showed an incredulity Jane hadn't experienced before. Yes, all of Melissa's actions implied consent, but that wasn't how she rolled. She would check in multiple times just to be sure. "For Christ's sake Missy, yes or no. Do you want this to continue?"

"Fuck. Me. Senseless."

Message received loud and clear.

Their kissing had lit the ignition, but it was the emotional intensity brewing between them that had fed the flames of desire. Melissa had been more than ready when they hit the mattress. Jane's hand slipped between slick folds and she quickly realised precisely how ready. It only served to increase the throbbing between her own legs. There was something incredibly hot about knowing she had caused this reaction.

Melissa wasn't waiting either. She clearly knew what she needed because she dug her nails into Jane's back and growled, "Inside me, now."

Jane grimaced a little from the pain of the nails in her back but leaned down to accost Melissa's neck with her mouth while slipping two digits inside a very desperate woman. As she set the urgent pace matching Melissa's hip thrusts her mind flashed back to the first time they were intimate. It was her first time with a woman and she couldn't have asked for a better first time partner. Melissa had been gentle, supportive, patient and willing to communicate. Sure she knew her own anatomy and what she liked, but she was incredibly nervous about being able to please her partner. Who wouldn't be? Melissa had made it a very tender, sweet experience. She had been able to bring her over the edge with a little persistence and guidance because of the patience exhibited during their lovemaking.

"I need more, Jane." Melissa panted, "More."

Jane knew she wasn't getting enough friction, she wasn't even sure if three digits would be enough with how wet Melissa was. She wondered if clitoral stimulation would be better and made a move towards that bundle of nerves but felt Melissa grab her wrist. She pulled back so she could make eye contact, "I'm not sure…"

"Bottom drawer."

Jane froze for a moment. She knew what was in the drawer. They had used it just once in their time together, because she wasn't sure she was comfortable strapping on. She felt too manly, and despite her many masculine traits, that just wasn't her thing. But one look into Melissa's eyes and one thought reminding herself that she would do anything for this woman had her up and strapped on in record time.

When she returned to the bed Melissa took control. Jane couldn't be sure if it was because she remembered her discomfort using a strap on or because she knew exactly what she needed to reach climax. Either way, Melissa straddled her lap and eased herself down on the artificial member, throwing her head back as she rode up and down. Jane was enraptured by the look on her face as she rode herself to orgasm. "Fuck you're beautiful."

Melissa rode out her waves of pleasure before leaning down and kissing her forcefully. She clearly wasn't done by far. "You're turn," she whispered quietly as her head slowly disappeared out of sight.

Jane felt Melissa remove the toy she'd needed and then shuddered when she felt her mouth latch on to her clit. It didn't take long at all for Jane to come undone, because Melissa knew exactly how to play Jane's body like a fiddle. She'd quickly figured out what Jane needed to get off in the past and she clearly hadn't forgotten a single little thing, knowledge she expertly wielded in the present.

"Good God woman," Jane breathlessly exclaimed after the last wave of pleasure faded. "I forgot how damn good you are at this."

Melissa smiled and tucked herself in under Jane's arm bringing her face to rest on her chest. She wrapped one arm around Jane's torso and kissed the skin nearest her lips, "Hold me a while?"

Jane's arm wrapped protectively around Melissa and she kissed the top of her head. It was probably the post orgasm hormones influencing her thinking, but in that moment Jane would have happily held Melissa for the rest of their lives. "Absolutely."

It wasn't long before Melissa was sound asleep, snoring lightly. Jane carefully pulled the duvet over them with her free hand, pausing for a moment when Melissa stirred only to finish the job when she settled back down. She didn't want to disturb her friend… her… God, she was making a mess of this wasn't she?

There was this giant blatant line in the sand that they were not supposed to cross. It was the very line Maura was afraid she'd fall over, and well Maura was right. The thing was she would never have crossed it at all if she had been in a relationship. She was single and Melissa needed her. Well, she needed a warm body and in the current stage of their lives, with that psychopath out there plotting God knows what, it was better if Jane provided that body. Even if it really did blur the lines of their friendship.

Who did she think she was kidding? The lines had been blurred for a very long time. Jane couldn't help but mull over everything that had led her to this point. She thought in great depth about the chain of events stemming all the way back to Maura's sudden announcement she was leaving Boston. Neither of them had understood their feelings for one another at that stage, but it didn't stop it from hitting Jane hard. It didn't stop it from registering as a massive betrayal. It still did. So much time and effort was put into pushing past and resolving the issues in her relationship with Maura and all it took to undo a lot of it was Maura abandoning her a second time.

God, why was it so difficult for Maura to simply trust her? She'd never trusted her. Not when she left Boston and not when she set her free against her wishes. A quick glance down at the blonde head resting against her chest was a timely reminder that there was one woman and one woman alone in her life that trusted her with everything. Melissa had gone so far as to entrust her heart with her and she'd naturally stomped all over it in large part thanks to Maura refusing to leave well enough alone. Melissa had been fixing the mess left in the wake of Maura and Hoyt. Melissa had been shining a light into the dark. Why the Hell did Maura have to open her damned mouth? Jane knew she was irrationally angry at this point, but she couldn't help but feel they would have both been better off if Maura had simply stayed with Gabby and made that relationship work. There would be fewer broken hearts strewn around the place. Because she loved Melissa then, she had been in love with her. There's no way in Hell she'd have felt so guilty about what had transpired between her and Maura after her surprise confession of love if she didn't have real feelings for Melissa. Right?

Fuck.

Jane closed her eyes and opened them almost as quickly. Seeing an angry, judgemental Maura staring her down on the back of her eyelids was not conducive to any positive thoughts or sleep for that matter. Why the Hell was she feeling guilty now? Because it took a day and a half to fall into bed with Melissa? It's not like she was proposing marriage to the woman. It wasn't even like she was proposing an actual relationship. She was simply being whatever her friend needed. Because she could. Because Maura set her free. So why did she feel so guilty?

A timely whimper falling out of Melissa's mouth brought the reason for her guilt directly into the spotlight. Her guilt had nothing to do with Maura. Maura had made her decision and falling to pieces over the woman once was more than enough for Jane. She could have gotten Melissa killed because of her inclination to fall to pieces a second time. She wasn't going to do that again. She was done pining after Maura. She was done worrying about what Maura had to say, because her ex-fiancée was sure done listening to her.

Melissa was the reason her mind wouldn't shut down. Her beautiful, broken friend. The innocent soul so beaten down by the hand life dealt her that she'd taken to falling into bed with strangers, and now herself, to dull her pain. They shouldn't have slept together. Melissa was unmistakably in love with Kelly and while that relationship was clearly in the balance, the last thing they should have done was what they just did. She'd allowed her own urgent need to play saviour and her own confused feelings to cloud her judgement. She had been selfish. Melissa had practically begged her not to let this happen until she had broken her defences with a simple heartfelt statement. She'd complicated things exponentially. This woman who in the past had loved her so earnestly and stepped aside when it became obvious that was what was best, hadn't been afforded the same respect. It made Jane feel sick to her stomach. She wished she could turn the clock all the way back. She wished she could have looked Maura in the eye and told her that no, she didn't feel the same way anymore. She didn't like how Maura had left her feeling at all, but she hated the heartbreak Melissa had endured since then. She hated even more the heartbreak she herself may have just set into motion for her friend.

Jane yearned to feel closer to the woman in her arms, she couldn't control the urge to touch her. She gently grazed her hand along Melissa's cheek, her eyes closed as she thought back to the time before Maura's bold declaration. Before Melissa had run away to Chicago. Her hand slipped down across Melissa's jaw and along her neck coming to rest against the scar that represented the moment Melissa was nearly lost to her forever. She felt a hitch in her throat and tears well in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Sweetheart," she whispered, caught up in the past. "I never should have let her in. I'm so, so sorry."

"I forgive you," Melissa mumbled against her chest.

Jane's hand froze, she hadn't meant to wake Melissa let alone be heard by her. Her heart clenched in her chest, aching from the mess she'd created. "Ssshh, go back to sleep."

"M'kay."

Melissa was snoring again and Jane slowly removed her hand back to a more neutral position holding her friend and let out a deep breath. She wasn't looking forward to the conversation they would inevitably end up having when Melissa woke up properly.

Jane finally relaxed back into the pillow when a sudden loud knocking on the front door startled them both. Melissa shot up looking momentarily terrified until her brain caught up with the fact it was a knock on the door. Jane was looking around for her clothes and groaned when she realised most of them were in the hall. She'd have to get dressed quickly on her way to seeing who it was at the door. "Relax, I'll see who it is."

Jane found her clothes and hopped around pulling on her underwear and pants before finally locating her shirt on the other side of the living room. She had no idea how it ended up there as they had made a beeline for the master bedroom, or at least she thought they had. Nonetheless she finished dressing and was halfway to the door when she stopped, she didn't have her weapon on her.

Fuck.

She ducked back into the bedroom and it was as if Melissa had read her mind, she stood there with a sheet wrapped around her body and a softball bat in her hand. Jane grabbed it, offered a nod of approval and returned to the front door. There wasn't a peephole, which was something she was absolutely fixing the first opportunity she had. Nor was there a security screen. So much that Kelly was meant to help Melissa with was now down to her. She opened the door a crack and poked her head out.

"Oh it's you," she muttered. She didn't open the door any further though and her fingers flexed around the handle of the bat she kept hidden at her side. Jacob Hillenbrandt had plenty of access to information on the gossip train if he wanted it and his eyes were definitely blue. He could be the bastard manipulating them, but he might not be either. What he absolutely was, was annoying. "What do you want Jacob?"

For the first time since she had met him he looked serious. He actually looked like a cop. His face was drawn tight and he paid no mind to her attitude. It was as if he was quite self aware and knew exactly how he came off. "I need to talk to you, Rizzoli. I need your help."

"With what?" She was curious, but felt a little cagey. Until she had ruled him out, he was a suspect, which meant he could be dangerous.

"I'm fairly certain it was one of our co-workers that murdered Detective Dyson."

He had her attention now. It still irked her that she had been taken off that case and it had stagnated. "Why do you think that?"

"Because the evidence leads me to that." He said firmly, "May I come in?"

"It's not a good time. I can meet you later. Is that alright?"

He nodded slowly, schooling his features, but there was a definite trace of concern she could see in his eyes. That surprised her. Before she could question him about it he said, "This is where Missy lives, right?"

Jane ground her teeth together and stared unblinkingly at him. She wasn't going to answer that. He clearly already knew that.

"Be careful messing with her. Wilson won't take too kindly to it and trust me, you don't want to be in her bad books."

Jane resisted the temptation to laugh. She could tell he was serious and that he thought he knew something she didn't. Perhaps he did. But from where she stood, Gabby was a lot of bark, with a few playful nips. She didn't exactly bite, let alone go all lock jaw on anyone. "Thanks for the warning. I'll text you later with a time and place to meet up, okay?"

"Make it soon, Rizzoli." He tipped his hat politely and left.

It was as if his personality had completely changed over the weekend. Friday he was nothing more than a lazy piece of shit who left the paperwork for her and today, well today he was acting like a real cop and he was showing concern and manners. She had to meet him later just to make sense of that, let alone review the evidence he had on the Dyson investigation that apparently Gabby and Alec didn't. She also really wanted to know what the Hell he meant by warning her about Gabby being a potential threat to her safety.

"Who was that?" Melissa asked from the hall behind her.

Jane turned and saw that Melissa had slipped into some shorts and a t-shirt. She shook her head and said, "That was my training officer, he uh, he needs to talk to me about work stuff."

"And you sent him away?"

"He has blue eyes." Jane said matter-of-factly, like it made complete sense that every single person in her life with blue eyes was a suspect, because, well, if they were male, they were. "There was no way in Hell I was letting him in here with you."

"You really think it could be a cop?" Melissa appeared quite worried by that possibility.

"I think given the forensic countermeasures used in all of his interactions with you so far that this guy has a profound understanding of what is and isn't useful. He knows how not to be seen and he knows how not to leave any DNA or prints behind. He's smart, Missy. He very well could be a cop, yes."

"Given everything you just said, do you really think he would just walk up to my door and knock on it?"

That's what terrified Jane. She felt like this guy was so confident in his countermeasures that he could quite happily tempt fate in an attempt to prove his superiority. He might just get a kick from hiding in plain sight. He definitely knew how to get along. She was sure of that. She didn't exactly want to terrify Melissa, but she needed to understand the seriousness of the situation. So she told her the truth as she saw it with one simple word. "Yes."

Melissa stood her ground quietly for a few moments, simply staring at her. There were several flashes of emotion that flickered in her eyes but they came and went so quickly that Jane couldn't figure out what was going through her mind. It was frustrating. Somewhere along the way she had lost her ability to read Melissa in the quiet moments. The moments when her mind was clearly in a different place. She hated it. She wanted to say something, but Melissa beat her to it.

"I'm going to shower."

Jane nodded dumbly. They both needed to shower. The stench of sex lingered between them. She'd wait her turn.

Melisa started to walk away before pausing, turning and saying, "You can join me, if you want."

This was one of those moments Jane wished she had been able to read what Melissa had been thinking and feeling. Because she had lived her life in the black and white. She had focused on what was wrong and what was right. It's why she was a good cop. She wasn't corruptible. She lived the way she worked. She strived to do the right thing by everyone, even to her own detriment. It was why guilt gnawed away at her insides as she stood there saying nothing.

Her relationship with Maura had always been in the light. It was very black and white. It made sense. Until it didn't. She now felt like a square peg trying to be squeezed into a round hole when it came to that relationship. It wasn't working, despite her belief she had done everything right. She hadn't crossed any lines while she was in that relationship and yet her very black and white no nonsense fiancée had kicked her out. Had told her to go and figure out her feelings. She knew her feelings. She declared her feelings. She was upfront and honest and she was told she was wrong.

Jane's jaw clenched as she watched Melissa seemingly give up and walk off in the direction of the bathroom. Her shoulders dropped. Melissa didn't exist in black and white, she existed solely in the grey. She was pure, but she was broken. Maura's love came with so many expectations. Melissa's love had only ever had one. Respect me. Melissa had sacrificed her own happiness so that she could be where she needed to be. She let go and she didn't look back. Maura had her love and yet, instead of working through her fears and insecurities had essentially told her she was on her own. Figure it out. Return to me when you know what you need. There wasn't a selfless thing about that act. It was painted like it was selfless. Like it was about finding her happiness, but Jane didn't believe it for a second. Jane knew what truly selfless love looked like. She had been the recipient.

Jane continued to stand on the spot, unmoving, her thoughts centering on the stark differences between who she thought she was, who she actually was, the woman she had been once before and the need to reconcile all three versions of herself into one. Before love had brought her to a new continent and heartache induced whiskey binges had aged her liver twenty years, she thought she understood the path of righteousness. She thought she had been on it, but somewhere along the way her encounter with the true incarnation of evil himself, Charles Hoyt and the war between two loves had knocked her off the path, with just a simple little matchbook to guide her way. She was lost, her surroundings were not even close to what she thought they should be and her desperate need to cling to the past was only making things more difficult. Why was she clinging so hard? Why did she need everything to be so black and white? Black and white was nothing more than rigidity that allowed little room for flexibility, little room for embracing the unexpected. It bucked against the possibilities.

Jane was standing in the grey and she wasn't sure how comfortable she was with that. She closed her eyes and took in deep breath after deep breath, allowing the sounds around her to seep into her brain. She could hear the sound of water as it washed over Melissa's tired, fragile body. Immediately her entire body tensed up and she understood that clinging to the past was only doing unimaginable damage to her current self. Maura had made her decisions. Clinging to her was like sniffing the long out of date milk, knowing it's bad and still pouring it on your cereal anyway, because what was the worst that could happen? Enough was enough. She wasn't going to let the black and white of it all dictate her path of righteousness. She would embrace the grey she was in. She would be whatever Melissa needed, because Jane realised that was precisely what she wanted - the freedom to love unconditionally and without judgement.

Jane found her way inside the bathroom, the steam had fogged up the glass leaving a mere distorted outline of Melissa as she stood under the spray. Jane took another deep breath and exhaled slowly, allowing all the doubts and fears to dissipate. She was under no illusions, this, whatever this was, only went as far as Melissa wanted it to. Because this wasn't about her needs, her wants, her urges or her desires. This moment was for Melissa. The tension flowed from her body and for the second time that afternoon she stepped out of her clothes, allowing them to fall into a heap on the floor. She stepped into the shower and offered a soft questioning look, seeking confirmation that her presence was still wanted. She reached out and ever so slowly ran her hand through slicked back hair while she searched ocean blue eyes for answers. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest as she stared into those eyes and allowed herself to acknowledge that they were simply stunning. There was so much depth and so much emotion contained within them.

Melissa reached between their bodies and took her hand and Jane immediately flashed back to their visit to Prince's Square, where Melissa told her about all the trauma that place represented in her life. That was the first time she had held Melissa's hand in a comforting manner and eventually she had just held her entire body against hers until she had stopped shaking from the relived trauma. Their bond had been formed that day and while it took her a while to truly comprehend it, she could so clearly see it now in her mind.

Melissa gently pulled her closer so that their bodies were almost touching. The spray of hot water hit most of her body now and it brought with it a sense of cleansing. Jane closed the last of the distance between them and wrapped Melissa up in her arms. She buried her face against her neck, where the smell of her shampoo was prevalent. She breathed it in and just held on while her own body shook with grief. Melissa held on with one arm and took the loofah and ever so slowly guided it up and down Jane's back in a soft, sensual motion. She didn't even attempt to initiate a sexual encounter, she simply slowly and methodically washed Jane's sins away. Melissa's silent understanding that she yearned for a softer, gentler intimacy in this moment only firmed Jane's realisation that living in the grey might not be that bad afterall.

---

A/N: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Constance certainly laid it out plain for Maura didn't she? But was she too late?

Also, did y'all really think I would put some tidbits in about Kelly having had a fling in Launceston in the past and not tie it back to the here and now? How do you think Gabby is going to react when she rocks up for dinner with her girlfriend and her one time fling, to discover it's Kelly?