A year later,

I still had weird dreams about Splinter. I don't know what's been causing it. I don't know if it's because of my guilt or if I just really miss him. I started to wonder if my dreams mean something like a warning or a sign. I don't know what to do and these past few weeks haven't exactly been helping with my stress.

The Foot clan have lost all respect for me after my incident with Totsu. I can't fully blame them though, even if I proved I'm a stronger leader than Totsu...I'm the one who sent soldiers to kill him in the first place, I'm the reason why he came to America.

What I did was dishonorable. Totsu did nothing to me and I arrogantly sent soldiers to kill him without even thinking of our safety. I feared if Totsu found out about Shredder's death that he would come and kill me so he can control the Foot clan. He has always wanted to be in control which is why Shredder left him in charge in Japan while he was here in New York. So I thought taking him out was the best option but clearly it wasn't. Lots of people got hurt because of me.

Shini, my best friend and sister had to go to the hospital for a few weeks because of what I did. Casey, too. They didn't act like it but I knew the turtles were pretty pissed, especially Leo and they had every right to be. There was no reason to go after Totsu, I'm the one who made my fear come true, he never would have come if I didn't go after him first.

It seems after all that has happened with Splinter I still haven't learned my lesson. I know my father would be furious if he were here. Totsu and Splinter actually competed against each other in an arena before I was born. Totsu would have won if my father didn't beat him and because of that Totsu has always wanted to take Splinter down but never got the chance. Splinter feared Totsu for what he was capable of so he and his clan moved far away so he wouldn't find them.

I knew this from my father when he was helping me with my wounds. He was trying to teach me something about 'choosing your battles.' Instead of fighting Totsu and risking his clan's safety he left. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

Flashback

"And that is why I left. When you are in those situations you must always ask yourself. Is this fight worth the risk?" Splinter finally finished his long and boring story. I rolled my eyes at him.

I had just got into a fight with some gang members and since Shini was out of town I had to ask father to help me with my wounds. I had bandages on my arms, legs and I even had a stupid band-aid on my cheek.

After he patched me up he took me to his secret hideout that had flowers and trees everywhere. How, he got them to grow without any sunlight? I will never know. He took me here so we could talk privately about my actions.

"It sounds more like running away to me." Splinter sighed. "Well, maybe if you had run away you would not be so injured."

"They attack first!" I argued. Splinter shook his head and stood up. "Miwa, you must learn to be more careful. A true ninja must know their limits." Splinter said while making tea and roman.

"Yes, but I want to push my limits. So I can be the best!" This might be my imagination but I could have sworn I heard Splinter snort at what I said. He cleared his throat. "It is good to push your limits Miwa, but not if you push yourself too hard." I sighed and rested my right cheek on my hand.

Couple minutes later, Splinter finished making the food and put it on a little wooden table. He sat down on a red square shaped pillow and gestured me to join him. I shrugged and sat down on the other side. He poured me a bowl and gave me some tea.

"Now you have a lot of bruising, scratches, and a sprained ankle. I want you to take a break from training and missions for at least a week." I almost choked on my food. "A week! No, that's not an option."

Splinter rose a brow. "Why?" I sighed. "You know why father. I have a clan to run, if I take a break because of a few injuries they'll think I'm weak."

Splinter rolled his eyes. It's no secret that he hates the clan. He has made that very clear. "That clan." He said under his breath. "Miwa, you are the leader not them. If they think you are weak for taking care of yourself then that is their problem. leaders think what is best for themselves and their followers." I rolled my eyes. I didn't bother to argue, there was no point.

We sat there in awkward silence for a long while, neither of us knew what to say. My father finally decided to break the silence. "Have you been practicing that kata I showed you?"

And of course the only topic we can ever come up with is something that is ninja related. I wanted to ask him so many questions. Like how he met my mother, or what his parents were like, or does he like anything other than ninjitsu but I froze each time I tried to ask any of those questions.

"Yes, It's been going good. I think I'm almost getting the hang of it."

"Good." Splinter responded.

Then we were in awkward silence again until I decided it was time to go. "Welp, I better get going I have to...um.."

I tried to think of an excuse. "Feed Shini's cat."

Really? 'Feed Shini's cat.' That was the best I could come up with. I don't even like cats!

"Oh alright well...remember what we talk about." I bowed my head respectfully. "Yes father." Then left.

Present

"Karai?" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Shini call me. "Yes." She looked at me with concern. "Are you ok? I've called your name like five times."

"I'm fine Shini. I was just thinking about how we can earn the clan's trust back." I lied.

I don't care if I have the clan's trust or respect anymore. I am starting to think the Foot might never live a life of honor, I don't think they're capable of it. For the past few weeks they have been saying I shouldn't be leader because I am 'weak Hamato blood' and they have been saying we should kill our enemies (The Turtles) instead of being their allies. They want a strong leader. Not a foolish 16 year old girl who can't even live a life of honor herself.

"Well you can worry about that later. We have to get going, we're visiting the turtles today, remember?"

The turtles. things have really changed a lot for them. Raphael's girlfriend Mona-Lisa has moved to earth and now Raph's attention is always on her but I kinda get why. For a newt she does have nice features.She's also kinda cool. She's an honorable and strong warrior. Though, very serious at times.

Leonardo has this crush on a mutant lizard. Her name is Elizabeth. She was mutated during the kraang invasion and has been hiding in the sewers ever since. Leo found her injured in the tunnels and brought her to the lair. She's been living with the turtles for two weeks now and already Leo has gotten attached to her.

I met Elizabeth once and boy is she aggressive. Mikey told her she's a 'freaky lizard' (he meant it as a complement) and Elizabeth exploded with insults. She doesn't take any sort of nonsense which is something me and her have in common.

She can be very ignorant and also doesn't have a problem about sharing anything no matter how private or personal it is she will say it out loud in front of everybody even if it makes everybody else uncomfortable.

Donatello and April's relationship has changed. I noticed not only Donnie flirting with April but she has been flirting with him too. They have been trying to keep their relationship secret but everybody knows. The question is, why are they keeping it secret?

I know why. I went to April's one time to apologize for a fight we got into and I saw her dad showering her with questions about Donnie. Like...do you have a crush on him? Are you two together? Or have you two done it? I was shocked. it wasn't a normal father who was just worried about his daughter dating a teenage boy. It was a father who didn't want his daughter dating a teenage mutant!

When April's dad said 'You can't be in a relationship with a mutant! It will ruin your life! Don't you want to live a normal life without them getting in the way and putting you in danger?! Their freaks April!'

I was very insulated. That asshole! After everything my family had done for him and his daughter! Who does he think he is? It took all of my willpower to not break through that window and beat him straight that day.

I was furious, he disrespected my kind and my family! Not to mention he insulated his own daughter. April's half kraang, Donnie told me that makes her a mutant and I could tell that April was very insulated too. I was expecting her to throw her fire at him but instead she ran into her room crying. I felt so sorry for her. Even though we don't really see eye to eye. I still snuck into her room and comforted her.

As for Michelangelo he had tried a distant relationship with someone named Renet but it didn't work out. Poor kid was depressed for a while until he met this girl named Eva. Who turned out to be a vampire.

At this point, I don't even know the word impossible. She's not what you would expect from a vampire. She has purple eyes and white hair. She doesn't drink human blood but the color red and she doesn't have any powers.

She's very nice, a bit too nice to be honest. She lets people walk all over her. Lucky Mikey sticks up for her. He trusted her very fast and has grown very clingy toward her which she didn't mind at all. I question it at first because even though Mikey can be easily fooled, he doesn't usually trust people that quickly; he takes time to get to know them first before letting them in. But after I saw how Eva was very nurturing with him I knew there was nothing to worry about.

I guess he just trusted her quickly because he was desperate for attention. With the other turtles being busy with their girlfriends and...Splinter being gone. He had no one to turn to until now and I'm happy for him.

Things have also changed for Casey and Shini. They have started seeing each other. I didn't approve at first but they actually make a perfect couple. With Shini's witch weirdness and Casey's weird personality they make an odd but cool pair.

I had never seen Shini so happy in my life. I guess I underestimated Casey. The two of them have been pulling pranks and causing trouble all over the city. They also have been very lovey dovey which grosses everybody out even me and nothing usually grosses me out.

Shini talks about her dates with Casey non stop and it gets very annoying after a while. Raph told me Casey has been doing the same and he has to punch him in the face just to shut him up. Honestly I've been doing that with Shini too. I was very wrong to think they wouldn't make a good couple.

"It seems like time is moving on without Splinter." I mutter.

...

A half hour later, we finally arrived at the lair. Shini and I got off my motorcycle and went in. The first person I see when I walk through the door is April. She was walking by but stopped when she saw me.

I smiled. "Hey princess how have you been?" April unamused, rolled her eyes. " I'm suppressed, you came. I thought you'd be out blowing up a building." I rolled my eyes at her.

Ever since her fight with her father April has been easily losing her temper. I know for a fact that April is at a loss right now and she would usually turn to Splinter for advice but now that he's gone she has no one. Still, it doesn't give her a right to take it out on everyone else.

"Well I have a clan to run O'Neil. It's hard for me to make time." April crosses her arms and looks at me with that smart ass face. "Yeah right. You just don't want to be here!"

"O'Neil!" I warn.

She rolls her eyes. "I don't get why you are still in the Foot after everything they put you through and I really don't understand why you went after Totsu when he did nothing to you!" I tightened my fists. She just had to bring up Totsu. She doesn't even know why I went after him in the first place.

"Look here princess, I know you're going through a rough time! But take it out on your dad, not me! If you have something to say to your father then say it!" April glares at me. "You don't know how hard it is for me to do that. I love my dad, I don't want to hurt him!" She then stormed out of the room and went to Donnie's lab.

She's wrong, I do understand. That's why I don't visit much. I don't want to hurt anyone in any way.

"Hey Karai." I turned around and saw Elizabeth. "Hey Liz." I said with sadness in my tone.

Liz notices. "Is that bitchy redhead giving you trouble?" I shook my head and crossed my arms. "No, she didn't do anything that I am not already used to."

I could tell by Liz's angry face that she felt bad for me. "I'm gonna beat the hell outta her! She's been bitchy to everyone all day! It's really starting to get on my nerves!" She yelled and tightened her fists.

"Come on Liz, take it easy." A voice came from behind, we turned around to see Leo holding a comic book. "Well she has, Leo!" Liz argued. "I know but it isn't any of our business." Leo said gently, trying to calm Liz down before she goes into feral mode.

I roll my eyes. Since when are troubled people none of Leo's business? I say it's time to rip off the band-aid. "I say we let Liz go into feral mode." I said and Liz nodded in agreement with a smirk.

"No, guys, April is obviously going through something. If she wanted to talk to us, she would have."

"Leo, ignoring the problem is not helping April! Don't tell me that you haven't noticed!" I argued.

Leo thought for a moment and sighed. "Ok, maybe you're right but I think all of us should talk to April. Let's do it during dinner. I'll let the others know."

I nodded and went to the kitchen to find Shini making out with Casey. I gagged. "Really!" I yelled but they didn't seem to hear me then Raph walked in.

"We might as well get used to it. They've been doing this for over a month now." He said.

"In the kitchen though?" I complained and Raph smiled.

"What? Are you jealous that Shini has a boyfriend and you don't?" He teased. "No. I was never the kind to imagine boyfriends, marriage, or having children. My version of my future always was about having fun ruling the Foot clan." I said the last sentence halfheartedly.

I am ruling the Foot and instead of having fun like I imagined, I'm miserable. Is this really how I want to spend the rest of my life? Sitting on that stupid throne alone while my family move on to greater things.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Raph asked. "Well there was this one guy. We were friends for a couple years then we started having feelings for each other but I broke it off quickly before it became anything more."

"Why did you do that if you had feelings for him?" Raph asked, raising a brow. I gazed at the floor sadly. "Because Shredder forbade me from having any kind of relationship with anyone. I was only allowed to train or study."

Raph looked at me with a bit of surprise. I guess I can't blame him. I never really told him about my childhood or how I was raised. Shini and I grew up poor. Then when I lived with Shredder I wasn't allowed to have anything normal kids had. No toys, no games, or friends. It was just me in my dark bedroom with my weapons and books.

"Well you're not with Shredder anymore, sis. Why don't you visit more often and spend some sibling time with us."

tsk* "No thanks."

Raph growled. "Come on Karai! What's the big deal! You used to visit like twice a week but now you hardly ever come over!"

I glared at him. Lately Raph has been pushing me to visit more often and has been kinder to me. I don't understand why? We used to fight all the time because he still didn't fully trust me even if I wasn't on Shredder's side anymore.

Now, he's changed but he's not the only one lately, all of the turtles have been over protective of me.

"Why do you care if I come over or not?" Raph rolled his eyes. "Because whether you like it or not, you're my sister and I worry about you. Want to know why? Because I know that you're trying to run from something. That's why you went after Totsu. I think you're trying to distract yourself with unnecessary things so you don't face whatever it is you're running from."

I was beyond fed up. Raph doesn't know anything. "That's not true!" Raph sighed. "Karai, come on. I'm not an idiot. I know you're trying to avoid something because you're too afraid to face it."

"Whatever Raphael!" I said and stormed off to the living room.

Raph's P.O.V

I shake my head as Karai storms off. I don't know what to do. Ever since Splinter died my whole family has been slowly falling apart.

Leo has been meditating non stop, Mikey breaks into tears when he is left alone, Donnie works himself to death in his lab, Casey started drinking, April is mad all the time, and now I just heard from Shini that Karai rarely ever sleeps. Worse of all, none of us can even be in the same room without getting into a fight.

I hate this! I wish Splinter was here. He would know what to do. But he's not and I have to accept that.

I feel like my family is trying to forget about Splinter. We never talk about him anymore, hell nobody even dares to bring up his name. I get it though, it's hard for me to talk about him too right now. It's still hard to believe. Me and my brothers grew up always thinking our father was invincible but deep down inside we knew that he wasn't.

My dad was my comfort, he always has been. Even though it might have seemed like I hated him at times, I loved him more than anyone. He was always hard on me but he never gave up on me. He never gave up on anything which is why I won't give up on my family.

I believe that one day we'll be whole again. I just got to be patient which never was my strong suit but what choice do I have at this point.

Tears start to form in my eyes but I shake it off. "Come on Raph. Keep it together." I scolded myself. "Your family is here to have a good time. Don't ruin it with your drama."

"Rapheal." I turn around to see Mona smiling at me. She has been my comfort through all of this. I wish dad was here to meet her...he would have loved her. "Yeah."

"I came to tell you that dinner is ready and Leonardo also wanted me to tell you that everyone is planning to talk to April about her temper." She said.

I was surprised. Usually when there's something wrong with one of us we avoid it. We don't talk or try to fix it like we used to. "Really? Who's idea was that?" I asked.

"Leonardo told me it was your sister's idea. Her and Elizabeth were mad about how she's been treating everyone and they want to put a stop to it." Mona explained.

I was a bit taken back by this. Karai has never shown interest in fixing family problems. I smiled a little, and here I thought we would never have a family talk ever again.

I don't want to get my hopes up though, this could go wrong in so many ways. I just hope it will help everyone see that we all could use help from each other.

"Ok, let's go." I said as me and Mona walked out the room.