Notes:

AO3 Tags: Orochimaru/Sakumo, Orochimaru & Tsunade, Dan/Tsunade, Tiny Kakashi, Everybody Lives (that we care about), RIP Danzō, Tentatively Complete

Tsunade's POV. I decided not to smoosh Dan's perspective in here, because it's got potential for its own chapter, and I like the balance of one for each main couple character. (Also, het smut. I don't write enough of that lately, and it has potential for het smut. Maybe.) That said, my muse is fickle! It may abandon me before Dan's bit is fully fleshed out. Fortunately, this chapter feels like it leaves off at a good place, not too loose-endy. (Is that a word? I'm making it a word.) So, for now, consider this fic complete!

Chapter 3: Tsunade

Tsunade had had a day, and she desperately needed to vent to someone about the sheer what-the-fuckery. Since Orochimaru was the reason she'd gotten involved in the whole mess, the least he could do, to take responsibility, was listen to her rant about it to destress.

Unfortunately, her friend was nowhere to be found. She'd checked all the usual places. He wasn't at home, or in the research and development department's labs, or the hospital's morgue. He wasn't out on a mission, or at the training grounds, or holed up in Anbu headquarters.

Finally, frustrated, Tsunade plopped herself down on the gigantic carving of her granduncle's head and put to use the skill he'd tried to teach her – with, admittedly, less success than hoped. She was no prodigy, but she was better than most, and had always had a knack for finding her idiots. Stretching her chakra senses wide, Tsunade reached out across Konoha until…

Gotcha!

By the time she reached her destination, her patience was at an end.

"Orochimaru!" Tsunade hollered, kicking in Sakumo's front door.

Belatedly, she realised that was probably poor form – causing property damage to a clan house not her own – but she'd never been one for apologies. Well, not with words. She'd make sure to pay for repairs, and maybe buy Sakumo a crate of top-notch saké.

But later – later – because right now, there was venting to be done!

"Orochimaru! If you don't get out here, I'm coming to find you, and you and lover boy better not be naked!"

A fully dressed Orochimaru glided into the room, looking thoroughly unimpressed. "You bellowed?"

Sakumo was just a step behind, disbelieving amusement on his face as he mouthed 'lover boy?'. He paused at the living room entrance and stared at his front door, which was thoroughly embedded in the wall opposite. His gaze turned to her. His amusement didn't fade – became, if anything, more wry – but there was something to the glint in his eyes that pinged Tsunade's instincts. Something that told her to step carefully.

Wait, wasn't there some thing about Hatake and territoriality?

"I'll get it fixed," Tsunade hurriedly promised. Then she wrinkled her nose, because sure, she was going to do that anyway, but the haste with which she spoke made her seem intimidated. Fuck that. Flapping a purposefully dismissive hand, she said, "Not important right now, because—"

"Why would they be naked?"

Tsunade froze mid-sentence. Very, very slowly her gaze lowered to a pint-sized, half-masked clone of Sakumo, peering around his father's legs and looking up at her all wide-eyed and curious and shit. "Er…" she said eloquently.

"Yes, Tsunade," Orochimaru said sweetly, tilting his head just so – an expression that read as genuine curiosity to the ignorant masses, and taunting as fuck to anyone who knew him. "Why would we be naked?"

Tsunade glared – until she noticed Sakumo, whose expression was stone cold. "Fuuuuck," she whispered under her breath. When the kid startled, and Sakumo's stare grew flatter still, she belatedly remembered that Hatake hearing thing. "I mean fff…or? I meant for. As in, they would be, er, naked for… medical reasons!" she blurted, the first kid-friendly excuse that came to mind.

Tsunade stood tensely, hoping he'd buy it. The kid stared at her, dark eyes full of doubt.

Shit, he wasn't buying it.

"Look, kiddo—"

"Only dad can call me kiddo."

She rolled her eyes. "Geeze, so much attitude for a midget," she muttered.

"I can hear you."

"Fine, not kiddo. Um…" Shit, what was Sakumo's spawn's name again? "It's something dumb, like 'mannequin'?"

"It's Kakashi," he said, offended.

"That's it!" She snapped her fingers. "'Scarecrow'. I was close. Just forgot that you Hatake have that weird farm-themed naming thing going on."

Pint-size Hatake's expression was looking eerily like his dad's now. Stone-faced shouldn't work on chubby baby features. Voice flat, he asked again, "Why would they be naked?"

Shit, fuck. First her flimsy excuse failed. Then her distraction tactic failed too. What else could she do? Certainly not tell the truth – she didn't want to get murdered by an overprotective Hatake parent.

Tsunade had heard stories about that clan and their brats, back during the Warring Clans Era, and the retribution they rained down on those who harmed them. She didn't know if they really ate their enemies' still-beating hearts, but it wasn't something she was willing to gamble on – Tsunade had terrible luck with gambling, and when she didn't, it always meant something worse would follow. She didn't want to know what 'worse' would look like in that scenario.

The silence stretched out agonisingly, until—

Sakumo snorted. "Enough, kiddo." He ruffled his brat's hair, and the kid pouted up at him, alert posture replaced with a slouch, wide eyes gone droopy and dismissive.

"You always ruin it, dad."

"Hey! I go along for a bit. But you drag it out too long. You shouldn't play with your food."

Tsunade took a moment to let it sink in that she'd just been played by a brat. She couldn't decide if she was more outraged or impressed.

Rolling his eyes – no, seriously, how was a toddler so sassy – Kakashi turned to look at her again. "I'm three – not dumb. I already know they'd be naked 'cause of sex reasons."

Sakumo choked and flushed red. "Kakashi," he groaned, rubbing a hand over his face.

"It's true!" The kid looked pissy, but also defensive, like he couldn't figure out why he was in trouble. It was so nostalgic of Orochimaru, back in their younger days, that Tsunade wasn't surprised when her teammate spoke up.

"Adults do not like for children to be sexually aware," Orochimaru explained.

"Why?" Kakashi demanded to know more – and that was very baby-Orochimaru too.

Orochimaru shrugged. "Squeamishness?"

Tsunade sighed. "No, Orochimaru. It's because kids aren't mature enough to be sexually active, so when they know shit, there's a worry they've learned it in ways that are abusive. Also, less direly, kids are curious buggers who like to test boundaries. Teens especially. Some parents think keeping their spawn ignorant will prevent that." She scoffed. "Faulty logic at its best – the horny idiots just figure it out for themselves. Smarter to educate them, so they know how to be safe about it."

After a pause, Tsunade admitted, "Squeamishness is also a factor."

A synchronised "oh" of enlightenment came from both Orochimaru and the brat, who might just be more an Orochimaru clone than a Sakumo one, looks aside.

Sakumo, Tsunade saw, was smiling as he looked between the pair. That was one heck of a sappy grin. The sight of it eased a tension Tsunade had been carrying ever since she all but dumped Orochimaru in Sakumo's lap and told them to go fuck like rabbits.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but afterwards – after she'd realised Orochimaru wasn't tracking her down for immediate vengeance, but had gone home with Sakumo instead – she'd taken a breather and thought it through. She'd remembered, then, that her best friend was an emotionally challenged idiot genius who didn't like things so much as he obsessed over them. She'd realised that Orochimaru's choice of Sakumo, rather than pragmatically hiring a professional courtesan to educate him, was absolutely a sign that he had real, profound feelings – feelings he may or may not have acknowledged to himself.

And Tsunade, like an idiot, had shoved him at Sakumo while framing it as a casual fuck.

Maybe even a cherry-popping favour.

Gods. It had been a level of dumb arseholery usually reserved for Jiraiya. She'd been making it up to him as best she could ever since – without admitting she'd fucked up – by deflecting Jiraiya's attention whenever he was obnoxious at Orochimaru. Tsunade had even offered to proofread some book Jiraiya had written when he tried to badger Orochimaru into it, expecting another endearing if hopelessly naïve sales flop like The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Ninja had been.

She was wrong. It wasn't naivety scrawled on those pages, it was fucking filth.

Jiraiya, apparently inspired by Amakuni – and her flexibility, endurance, sexual adventurousness, and possibly other traits Tsunade didn't get to hear about before threatening to tear out his tongue – had decided to embrace his love of trashy princess books by writing his own. Because yes, that's what it was. Deny it all he liked, but behind all the unrealistic sex scenes it was pure trashy romance.

The combination of the two produced a level of cringe that Tsunade hadn't thought possible.

But she'd endured! In silent recompense to Orochimaru, she'd endured… until Jiraiya had cornered her during a training session with Dan that she'd managed to carve out time for. If the interruption hadn't been bad enough, he'd then shoved some gaudy, orange-backgrounded artworks he'd had commissioned in her face, and eagerly asked which she thought would make a better book cover.

Tsunade had taken one look at more tits and… other things than she'd ever wanted to see outside a medical exam – Amakuni's tits and things to be specific, given the green hair, and Tsunade did not need to know the carpets matched the drapes! – and her patience had finally snapped.

"Put some godsdamned clothes on her!" she'd shouted, shoving them in Jiraiya's face so hard that he fell over, then grinding down a bit more till there was a head-shaped imprint in the ground and Dan had needed to pull her off him.

For her suffering, she felt she'd sufficiently apologised.

All the apologies in the world, however, hadn't stopped her worrying.

But now Sakumo was sending Orochimaru besotted grins as her teammate shared a moment of mutual understanding with his kid. And Orochimaru… oh. Oh, ho, ho! Orochimaru looked up, and saw, and – and this was the best bit – he not only understood what Sakumo's expression meant – hit and miss for Orochimaru, people not being his strong suit – he also smiled back. A soft, fond smile that Tsunade had never seen before.

Gods, she was getting teary. No, fuck that. She narrowed her eyes, glaring and blinking until her gaze was clear again. Because she was a badass bitch. Team Sarutobi left that weeping shit to Jiraiya, whenever the latest target of his lame flirtations kneed him in the balls as he rightfully deserved. And they teased him mercilessly for it later.

Also, Orochimaru owed her big time! She'd been making amends for nothing!

"Tsunade?" Orochimaru asked. "What brings you by?"

She looked up to see Kakashi was gone. "Where's the brat?"

"Summoning realm."

"I thought, whatever you're here for, it might not be a conversation fit for little ears," Sakumo said, coming up beside Orochimaru and wrapping an arm loosely around his waist, hand resting on the jut of a hip. He didn't do it to make a point, to stake a claim. It was an utterly unconscious gesture.

So too was the way Orochimaru leaned into him before stiffening and darting a look at Tsunade. When he saw her biting her lip, his eyes narrowed in warning. She heroically fought back the urge to grin, or tackle him in a hug, or brag.

Because, clearly, this was all thanks to her.

"Summoning realm?" she said instead, to distract herself. Then she realised what she'd said, and her eyebrows shot up. "Wait, that midget has summons already?"

Sakumo puffed up with pride he didn't even try to hide. "Two so far – a pug and a bulldog. He'll have a full pack in no time."

"But we digress," Orochimaru said. "Again." He glanced pointedly at the embedded door and back. "What was so urgent you couldn't knock?"

Tsunade abruptly sobered. "Right. Fuck. So, firstly, Shimura's dead."

The pair opposite her went deadly still. Then Sakumo leaned forwards, looking like he was restraining himself from lunging and shaking answers out of her – wise, because Orochimaru's beloved or not, she'd absolutely punch the shit out of anyone who thought they could manhandle her.

"Danzō Shimura?" Sakumo asked intensely.

"Yep."

"He's dead?"

"Twice."

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed. "I beg your pardon?"

"Okay, so first of all I killed him."

Sakumo choked in shock.

"Oh, right," Tsunade said. She'd forgotten he didn't know. "Orochimaru explained your worries about Shimura and Kakashi, so I looked into Shimura, and he was shady as fuck – you were a hundred percent right to worry – so I killed him."

"So you killed him," Sakumo echoed, voice dazed. "Just like that."

"Just like that."

And she didn't regret it a bit.

Konoha had been founded, first and foremost, to protect children. Her grandfather had told her that, whispering old dreams of no more little brothers in too small graves. The village didn't always succeed, and genin were still churned out too young, but things were better than they had been. She didn't have her grandfather's vision, but looking at the past, she could see it – could see how Konoha's people valued young lives more and more. And she could look to the future and imagine what would one day be.

And then there were scumbags like Shimura who wanted to drag them back to the Warring Clans Era, with the mentality of ninja as disposable tools and the maximum exploitation of child soldiers.

Remembering the things she'd found in her investigation, so antithetical to everything Konoha stood for, made Tsunade shake with rage – and with fear. Because while Shimura's child-snatching ways had mostly targeted talented orphans, children who wouldn't be missed, he had recently become bold enough to target clan children too. Some, he'd merely 'recruited to an accelerated training program' – with blackmail and threats. Others, he'd outright snatched, faking their deaths. And the political shitstorm that would hit when the Uchiha police reunited them with their clans was going to be a mess.

All of which was to say that, yes, Sakumo's precocious little brat had absolutely been at risk from Shimura. And, just a few short years ago – and this was the terrifying part – Nawaki might well have caught his interest too.

Really, killing Shimura had been a genuine public service.

Of course, it hadn't been that simple.

Sakumo frowned as the shock finally wore off. "Please tell me you had backup." When she rolled her eyes, he set his jaw. "I'm serious. Shimura is – was, I guess – dangerous, and Konoha's strength is in our comrades. Tell me you took backup."

Tsunade was bemused enough at someone actually standing up to her for once that she wasn't even offended that he'd pressed the issue. She glanced towards Orochimaru. He was staring at his lover, half surprised and half something else – something that both delighted and disgusted her.

She was thrilled that Orochimaru was happy, but she did not need to know what he looked like when undressing someone with his eyes.

"Calm your tits, Hatake. I took Dan."

"Katō?" Orochimaru looked incredulous.

Tsunade bristled. "What? He's a strong ninja. He's absolutely capable of having my back in a fight."

"A fight, sure. But an assassination? Of a village elder? He's so…"

Tsunade stared at him.

"Lovely," Sakumo said slowly – Tsunade resisted the urge to squeal, because that was a pet name, and Orochimaru didn't hiss at it! "Are you… under the impression that my best friend is a sweet, goodhearted, but ultimately bland, unimaginative, rule-following kind of ninja?"

Tsunade snorted a laugh, but at the same time, Orochimaru said, "Well, yes, I have met him," and she could only stare.

"Wow," she said, a bit awed by the sheer blindness. Even for Orochimaru, with his sometimes unreliable ability to parse strangers' emotions, this was impressive. "You didn't look underneath the underneath on this one at all."

Annoyed, Orochimaru hissed. "Then explain it to me."

"Dan is absolutely as sweet and goodhearted as he presents himself to be," Sakumo said, "but—"

"But he also uses it to mask the fact that he's a stubborn son of a bitch," Tsunade finished.

"Even that's understating it," Sakumo said wryly. To Orochimaru, he added, "When one of two friends has canine summons, and it's the other one who gets called 'a dog with a bone', you know that's some kage-level stubbornness right there."

Orochimaru did that inexplicably elegant snort of his. "Stubborn, hmm? I'm sure Tsunade doesn't know what that's like." He met her gaze then, raised a taunting brow, and mouthed 'karma'.

Her eyes narrowed, but with phenomenal grace, she let it pass. She and Dan had first gotten to know one another by butting heads over whether there should be a medic per team, or medic-only fast response units. It had taken them months to realise that they could – and should – be pooling their resources and arguments, for a better chance of getting some sort of in-the-field medical advancement past the crotchety old elders.

They were making a lot more progress together than they had alone.

That sure as shit didn't stop them from arguing, in private, about which final outcome would be better. But at this point, it was almost as much flirtation as bullheadedness.

"Dan can also be vicious, deadly, and mean when he wants to," Tsunade added admiringly.

A pretty face, a nice smile, and a mutual appreciation for medics was one thing, but not enough to set her pining. Not even solid goals and the guts to stand up to her did that, though it had earned him her respect. No, it was their planning sessions – and the surprisingly ruthless tactics he'd suggested – that had made Tsunade start developing romantic feelings.

Dan was no delicate flower – even if he did blush as pretty as a rose.

"He was absolutely willing to help assassinate a corrupt village elder, no questions asked."

Sakumo startled. "No questions?"

"None."

He laughed. "Well, okay, that's not Dan. That's just Dan with you. He'll kill a man and not blink an eye – there's a reason he's one of Anbu's top assassins – but never without being exceedingly sure they deserve it." He frowned and quietly added, "Don't take advantage of his faith in you, okay?"

Tsunade swallowed, shocked and touched. "I won't."

Silence lingered, and then Orochimaru gave an irritated huff. "Fine, so I… misjudged the man." He waved an elegantly dismissive hand, tossing his hair for good measure – clearly trying to put his embarrassing mistake behind them with a diva's flair. "How does someone die twice?" he demanded.

"Right." Grim, Tsunade leaned forward. "So, I do all of Konoha's high-security medical exams. The yearly check-ups, anyway." This was directed more at Sakumo than Orochimaru, who already knew. "Shimura's came up, and when I got to his head, I triggered a brain aneurysm."

Orochimaru perked up. "You figured it out and didn't tell me?" he scolded, but with delight. It was an extension of the blush-suppressing jutsu they'd both collaborated on – he had a right to know. But on the other hand, she'd figured it out. "For shame."

She grinned. "The trick was earth chakra."

"What? But surely water chakra—oh, of course. Because of the minerals in the blood. A combination of natures would make for better control…" Orochimaru trailed off, gazing at nothing, but his golden eyes were sharp with intelligence.

Sakumo shifted, tucking a strand of hair behind Orochimaru's ear. Orochimaru, miraculously, didn't cut his hand off for the presumption, and Tsunade was so fucking delighted. Instead, he blinked at Sakumo, dragged more gently from one of his science spirals than Tsunade had ever seen. And did she mention her delight?

Her friend was in love.

"Lovely, am I hearing wrong, or have you and Tsunade developed a way to control human blood in the body?" his tone was intense, and Orochimaru's gaze shuttered.

"We… have," he said stiltedly.

Tsunade held her breath. Don't fuck this up, Sakumo, she silently ordered. Don't you dare fuck this up by being like every other cowardly piece of shit who freaks out when Orochimaru proves how ruthless and deadly he can be.

"That," Sakumo said, voice rough. He paused to clear his throat. "That's… really attractive."

Orochimaru blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Sakumo shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "I mean, I'm not Uchiha-levels of danger attraction – I don't go starry-eyed whenever someone punches me in the face – but I'm a ninja, Orochimaru. I can absolutely appreciate beautiful, dangerous things."

"I see…" Orochimaru's gaze turned speculative, and Sakumo swallowed. "I will keep that in mind," he added, voice gone low and velvety, and Sakumo literally swayed towards him.

"Ahem," Tsunade said, amused, and they both startled and spun to face her. "Yeah, still here."

"Ah, sorry." Sakumo rubbed the back of his neck. "Where were we?"

"I'd just exploded Shimura's brain."

Sakumo paused. Then he smiled. She assumed it was a smile. That was a lot of very sharp teeth there. Wow, he was really glad that man was dead, huh?

"You will show me your notes later," Orochimaru demanded.

"Yeah, of course. But anyway, I exploded Shimura's brain, and then Dan barged in right on cue to 'distract me', so I could feign ignorance and not provide immediate aid—"

"In case sensei – or more likely one of his advisors, Shimura's creatures as they are – request a Yamanaka mind-walk you to review the incident."

She snapped her fingers. "Exactly. So he barges in with the flowers—"

"Flowers?" Sakumo asked, brows raised.

"He'd just plucked up the courage to ask me out, you see. Was all a fluster, with a huge bouquet." She examined her nails, hiding a smile. "Very distracting."

"Whose idea was that?"

"Mine."

What she'd sooner die than admit – because he'd never let her live it down – was that it was Orochimaru who'd finally prodded her into action, if unintentionally. Realising that her prickly, romance-blind, eternal virgin of a teammate was suddenly getting laid on the regular, while she was still pining, had been a bit galling. Especially when she really thought about it. Her! Pining! Like one of Jiraiya's trashy romance novel princesses!

It had been an appalling realisation, and she'd decided then and there that she was gonna fix it. She was going to seduce the pants right off Dan Katō, and the heart right out of his chest.

Just watch her.

"And would I be correct to presume," Orochimaru drawled, amused, "that you will be holding him to that date?"

Tsunade grinned, wide and victorious. "Yeah, but he doesn't know it yet. Don't either of you ruin the surprise for me."

They both laughed.

She cleared her throat. "Off track again. So I exploded his brain, Dan burst in, much distraction, Danzō died. Then," she added, outraged just remembering it, "he gets back up!"

"How?"

She threw up her hands. "This is where it gets wild. I hurry to check him over – medic and all, not suspicious – except the whole situation is suspicious. Or would be, to a paranoid old war hawk like Shimura." She paused. "I mean, he wouldn't be wrong, not in this instance, but…

"So I do the sensible thing and I kill him again."

"You kill him again," Sakumo repeats, enthralled.

"Brain and heart this time, just to be sure."

Orochimaru frowned. "Tsunade, even an idiot would find that suspicious."

She winced. "Yeah. But the fucker had just resurrected, and I might have had a flashback to when I was little and found that zombie jutsu of Granduncle Tobirama's." She waved a dismissive hand. "Never mind. Doesn't matter."

"It does—"

"No, it doesn't. Everyone's got something way more important to fuss over. Because he stayed properly dead that time, but I checked him over to be sure, and some seals hidden in that eyepatch bandage thing of his had failed with his death. It turns out," she said, with an air of disbelief even hours later, "Shimura had a godsdamned Sharingan."

"What?" Orochimaru hissed.

Sakumo growled. "Bloodline thief."

"Yeah. And not the normal pinwheel version. It was one of those funky ones that they don't talk about, but we all know give random bullshit powers." She raised an eyebrow, and they both nodded. "It's almost definitely what brought him back. Cost him the eye too – it was blind and clouded over – which is probably why he couldn't resurrect a second time.

"Meanwhile, Dan takes one look and says, like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, 'Well, this is definitely a suspicious death, within village limits, of an important village resident, so protocol is clear – will you go fetch the head of the Konoha Military Police Force, or will I?'" Tsunade beamed.

"He got the Uchiha clan head involved?" Sakumo said with relish. "With a stolen Sharingan? The Hokage and his advisors will be prying that case from their cold dead hands."

"Vicious," Orochimaru said, impressed. He inclined his head to her – an apology that wasn't an apology, because he liked saying the words as little as she did. "I should have known you'd never moon over someone dull."

"Yes," she said smugly, "you should have. You can make it up to me by distracting Jiraiya when Dan and I have our date."

Orochimaru made a moue of distaste. "Must I?"

She turned deadly serious. "I read porn for you, Orochimaru. I. Am. Owed."

He stared at her. "You what?"

"You don't want to know."

Orochimaru examined her grim expression.

He decided he didn't want to know.

"Fine," he huffed. "But only if you leave at once."

"Rude."

"Says the one who barged through the front door," Orochimaru reminded dryly.

She winced. "Still. You could at least let Sakumo offer me tea." She eyed him. "He seems the sort. All polite on the outside."

Sakumo smiled at her. It was, indeed, perfectly polite – on the outside. "There's a reason Dan and I are such good friends. Would you like tea?"

"No, she would not," Orochimaru interrupted before Tsunade could accept. He didn't even look at her, eyes locked with Sakumo's, golden and predatory. "Because your child, my wolf, is in the summons realm. Which means we have this whole house to ourselves for several hours yet. Hours, alone, just you and I…" His voice went low and velvet, and he tilted his head, hair falling away from his neck. "Whatever shall we do with ourselves?"

Sakumo's gaze snapped to the exposed pulse of Orochimaru's throat, and he didn't look away, even as he began to stalk towards him. The way Orochimaru stepped back was less a retreat and more a lure.

"I am still here," Tsunade reminded, planting her hands on her hips.

She was ignored. Suddenly, Sakumo was lifting her teammate, pinning him to a wall, mouth on his neck. Orochimaru's legs wrapped around his waist as he tipped his head back, and—

Look, Tsunade was happy for Orochimaru. She really was. Delighted even.

She was also traumatised, because that was her honorary brother.

"Oh, fuck no," Tsunade said, and made a hasty exit, wincing as the sound of Orochimaru's moans followed her out.

The End

Notes:

Writing Tsunade's POV was interesting. She came through really potty-mouthed, and kinda like a spoiled child who grew up mostly alright, but is still a bit entitled and not great with boundaries or admitting to wrongdoing. Rough, tough, impulsive, but intrinsically loving. I dunno how that gels with canon, but I'm alright with it.

Also, I maintain that even as a grumpy baby ninja (or pre-ninja), Kakashi still had fully functioning troll instincts.

I leave you on this final note: You know that fanfic trope where nearly everything was Danzō's fault? I like that trope. I hate Danzō, and I like that trope. So assume that, now he's dead, Orochimaru doesn't go evil and Sakumo lives and Dan lives and Nawaki lives and the Uchiha aren't massacred and everything is sunshine and rainbows THE END.