well, look who finally showed up?.. to read my newest Fic!
as I mentioned in the summary, this is a story based on the game Alter Ego, it follows all the dialogue from the game (with some minor alterations) along with many additional lines that I used to carry on the conversations, direct conversations to the in-game dialogue, and enhance the world building and story of the original game, of course none of this would be possible without the masterminds at Caramel Column inc. so that's my little plug for them.
anyway, I wanted to add this as a disclaimer, I wanted to try something new when writing this, it's not really a 'self-insert' story, but it was written in a way where the Wanderer or the player's pov in the game/ the main pov in this story, is ambiguous, meaning if you imagined the Wanderer to be male or female, you can still read this with whatever preference you have. I've also left each choice in the game open ended, usually jumping scenes right before the Wanderer answerer, or simply by him giving a none answer, the only dialoge that I don't try as hard to include are the multiple choice options and Es's direct responses to such, doing so would ruin the flow of the story, so I ask you to read this and answer how you actually would, not through the three choices you're given, which in a real world setting would be extremely limiting, so read this story as though you yourself are the Wanderer
I really hope you enjoy!
beginning of 1-1
l woke up standing… or was I even asleep to begin with? All know is that this particular string of conscious thoughts originated from this specific location.
I stood in some form of long endless hallway, it was almost entirely empty, the only thing that even made me realise that it was in fact a hallway, were the thin white pillars on the sides. Each was spaced exactly the same distance from one another, and never had a discrepancy in them.
The walls themselves moved… or the floor did, without a fixed point of reference I could not tell which of the two were truly in motion. But it wasn't a smooth fluid motion, more of a stuttered sliding of the walls or floor. It reminded me of an old film reel actually, the long strip of plastic intersected with small pictures. But it was inverted, instead of a picture of color it was a black portion of the wall, and instead of a thick black divider between pictures, it was a thin white support column.
I looked behind me and saw nothing but more hallway, I assume that's where I'd come from, but I was curious about what was at the other end of this hallway, so I started in that direction.
As I was walking a stone wall appeared before me, seeming to be the end of the hallway, it was very intricately designed, the left half of it had the visage of a man with a full set of facial hair, the right side was that of a clean shaven woman.
Abruptly the air became stuffy and constricted, it tasted like damp cave air.
Once I'd gotten acclimatized to the suddenly changing air I noticed something else. A faint knocking sound on my consciousness, I gingerly opened my mind to whatever wanted access, what 'flew through the door' nearly knocked me over, physically.
"I've been waiting for you."
"My lost child."
Each phrase hit me like being hit in the head with a stone.
"I am Ego Rex."
"I administer rules."
Each phrase was physically and mentally stunning; I could neither move nor respond.
"What you will find."
"Here with me."
I was unable to flee from the headache inducing conversation, unable to question what this 'Ego Rex' was talking about, unable to even think…
"Is you."
"yourself."
No… that's not true, I could think, but it became noticeably more difficult to do so when in the vicinity and under the influence of this Ego Rex.
With that, it left, split down the middle and slid off to the sides. Once they passed my peripheral I no longer saw them, but I knew that the film reel walls would normally have obstructed any movement in those directions.
I concluded that there had to be something more to this place, more than I was seeing anyway.
Being the ever curious wandering soul I am, I continued onward, past where the rock wall once was.
As I walked I grew slightly fearful of the environment, the air around the stone wall earlier was musty and dirty, and I hadn't walked all that far from where I'd first started. What would the air be like further in? Deeper in the tunnel would the air be as safe to breathe as it is currently?
I faltered in my step and stood still, my surroundings continued moving as they had before.
An unspoken question hung in the air
"Why do you seek the depths?" It asked wordlessly.
I automatically responded.
"I seek because I do not know."
Oddly, no sound left my lips, but instead it almost echoed off the hallway around me and came back to me as a soft whisper.
"Why? How?" I murmurred soundlessly, the echoed reply returned, this time stating a fact more then just repeating my words
"I always wonder, why? How?"
My spine shivered beneath my cloak.
"I want to be free." The echo told me what I myself was thinking.
I decided not to explore further, against my usual tendencies. So I turned around and walked back the way I'd come.
I couldn't have taken more than three steps before I came across a set of double doors, their texture seemed to be that of wood, but like everything else in this place, they were only grey… no, at that moment a small blue butterfly landed on the door handle to prove me wrong. It seemed to glow and yet cast no illumination on the door or its handle, almost as though the butterfly itself was the only source of light and color within this place, as though they were the only thing with any true meaning.
I peered at the out of place butterfly for some time before it flitted away. I watched it disappear down the corridor before turning back to the door.
I breathed in deeply, unsure of what I may find on the opposite side, hoping in my gut that it would be the exit, but knowing in my head that it wasn't. Afraid that turning the handle was the point of no return, but also somehow certain that it was the whole reason to being here to begin with.
I shut my eyes to ready myself, then reached out and pushed down, hearing the crack of the door I opened my eyes with a start.
There stood another person, a real person standing behind a small desk, behind her and on both sides of either of us were walls, unmoving unlike those on the opposite side of the doorway, and instead of being bare and conjuring up images of film tapes, these brought forward the idea of a library, covered in shelves upon shelves of books.
The woman herself wore an elaborate European dress, but they seemed to also have the Victorian style incorporated in. She also wore white silk gloves. The majority of her hair was braided and draped over her left shoulder while her bangs hung over her forehead
"Well, look who showed up. I grew tired of waiting."
"I apologize, do you know me?" I asked.
"Of course not… Do you?" She asked.
I was about to ask her what kind of question that was when she continued.
"Oh look at me, getting too carried away, introductions are in order. I am Es."
"Es." I said sounding out the oddly simple name
"And I believe you have already been graced by the presence of the Façade." She added, though there was an undertone of irritation hidden within, one that hadn't shown itself even when she mentioned how long she'd been waiting for me to appear.
"If you'd honor me with your name?" She asked politely after taking just the shortest moment to clear the irritation from her tone.
"I have none." I told her simply.
"You don't have a name?" She asked curiously.
I shook my head lightly.
"Then whatever shall I call you?" She asked with a hint of disbelief seeping into her voice.
I thought about it for a moment.
"Wanderer."
"… Wanderer?" She repeated.
I nodded.
She went silent for a beat, longer than the previous pauses in our conversation, then she composed herself sitting at a small couch beside her desk, across from her was a similarly small couch, like everything else in both the hallway and the library they were purely gray.
"Is there any reason you chose that word specifically, does it contain a particular meaning to you?" she asked as she gestured for me to sit opposite her.
"I am as it implies, I have nowhere to go, nowhere to be, nowhere I'm from and no one waiting for me, I am eternally going somewhere and never getting anywhere."
"When you say these things… do you have any primary emotion behind them?" she asked.
"Eh, not really." I shrugged.
"Do you put on a front for others?"
"Everyone does for one person or another, though I am a fairly open book… I like to think that anyway."
"Do you find you're easily influenced by other people?"
"Easily influenced… I don't know, but everyone's influenced by those around them, that's kind of what it means to be a person."
"Are your tastes easy to discern?"
"Oh hell no." I answered instantly with a laugh.
She seemed slightly taken aback by my abrupt answer.
"Do you tend to get jealous easily?" she continued after a moment.
"I believe I'd be the type to get possessive or entitled, but I can't exactly figure out what gives me that impression. Especially with the lack of my memories." I told her honestly.
"Would you say you are persistent?"
"In what way?" I asked for clarification.
"When things get hard, do you then work even harder to overcome the challenge?"
"That depends, how necessary is the task, and how driven am I to overcome the challenge?"
"You describe it as circumstantial." she noted.
I nodded.
In situations in which you are uncertain, do you often find yourself in a state of irritability?"
"I hate being uncertain, at least when it's important, but when it's for leisure or recreation, that's a different story."
"Would you say that you are an individual who is unhindered by fear?" She asked.
"No, I feel fear when I don't know where I am, who I am, what I'm doing here or I wonder if I'll be able to leave alive." I told her slowly
She paused and seemed to be weighing something in her mind
"Are those specifically fears you have regarding this place?" She asked finally.
"Is that a question I have to answer?"
"No, but the answers to these questions will better educate me on how to help you, I remind you that these discussions are private and none of these questions are mandatory, you may return to the hallway whenever you like." She answered professionally
I stayed where I was, I appreciated this woman's company over that of the weird whispers and voices outside
"Seeing as you have yet to leave, I will take that as your decision to remain." she noted.
"Do you prefer to have a specific answer, where there is only a polar interrogative answer."
"You're going to have to explain what that means." I told her.
She almost rolled her eyes but stopped herself
"A polar interrogative is a question that has one of two answers; Yes, and No. Similar to how this place is either Black or White." she explained.
"You're asking if I prefer duality?" I reiterated.
"If that's how your mind puts it." she answered.
"What do you mean by that?" I laughed.
"Remember these questions are all designed to help me understand how your mind works, if your mind thinks of it as duality then I will refer to this concept by that term."
"Do you believe that you are one easily deceived?" she asked seriously.
I just quirked an eyebrow at her and smiled, guessing what was gonna happen.
"Not a question you'd like to answer, very well, admitting oneself a fool is not an easy feat I suppose." she commented.
"Oh yeah, as soon as I say yes then all the guys with camera's jump out, revealing this is all a hidden camera show, proving that I am easily fooled, but if I say no, the same occurs and proves me wrong. If this was a TV show, it would explain a lot actually, the moving walls and floor in the hallway, the suddenly changing air, the far too powerful subwoofer, it would even explain why the butterfly was so out of place, no human can completely control the flight of a butterfly onto a film set." I listed off.
"Alright boys, the gigs up, let me out and send in the next hapless fool." I yelled to the ceiling.
"Butterfly?" she wondered aloud.
"Oh don't play ignorant, bright blue and glowing…"
"Blue?" she repeated.
"The color of the ocean, the sky… color of a blueberry?" I told her.
"I unfortunately have never witnessed the color blue… or any color for that matter." she sighed as she closed a notebook I hadn't even noticed her having, she then lay it on the couch beside her.
"You can't have never seen a color, the world is full of different colors." I scoffed.
"Tell me about it." she implored… not sarcastically… but sincerely.
A slight shiver ran up my spine realizing that this wasn't a hidden camera show, or if it was, they had one hell of an actress, who must have a PHD in improv or something.
I looked down at myself and found myself wearing nothing but a gray cloak.
"Ok, here, look at my eyes, you see the color there." I told her as I stood up and crouched in front of her, widening my eyes for her to see.
"I see your eyes, yes…" she answered.
"But…?" I asked.
"However there is no color of which you speak." she continued.
I stood up in surprise.
"Do you have a mirror?" I asked her.
She nodded and walked back to the desk. She knelt down and opened one of the lower drawers.
"Would you say you like to be the center of attention?" she asked as she sifted through the lower drawer.
"The more questions you ask, the more I think this is a TV show." I commented with a small laugh.
"One final question if you don't mind." she said as she lifted a large shiny gray rimmed mirror onto the table, it was intricately designed, and if not for the monochrome motif, I would imagine the rim to be gold.
I didn't refuse so she proceeded without verbal agreement.
"Do you tend to ignore those that you dislike?"
"Y'know, I really can't answer that, I don't remember interacting with anyone other than you, and I obviously don't dislike you." I told her.
"That's very flattering." she noted half dryly.
She then angled the mirror as I walked over.
When I looked in the reflection I caught a glimpse of my face beneath a large pointy hat.
Then it was overlaid with 4 short phrases, each appearing in quick succession after the previous ones.
Then the mirror shattered, my silhouette fractured beyond comprehension, and the 4 phrases that were once written on the mirror were now one big paragraph that encompassed almost the entire mirror.
"Well, did that clear some things up?" She asked me as she stood behind the mirror, probably waiting for me to be done with it.
I read the paragraph seemingly inscribed on the back of the frame of the mirror as the shattered shards of glass or the absence of such did nothing to obstruct my view of the paragraph.
"What's this?" I asked once I'd finished reading.
"you don't know much at all do you?" She asked as she lifted and cradled the shattered mirror.
"Not about this place, or about who you are…" she murmured as she danced effortlessly over the books that littered the floor she then set the mirror down on a desk on the opposite side of the room, it seemed more like a work desk then the one she was at when I first entered, this one had a small bird cage on it, though it had no occupant, and multiple crumpled balls of paper and a few dusty envelopes, it now also held the shattered mirror.
She danced back across the room, once again avoiding every single book, as though the books were a river and the gaps between them were stepping stones. Despite the fact that she wore knee length boots, she made it look as though she just floated over them.
"No matter, we've just begun, more will come in time."
"I thought you said that was the last question?" I asked.
"It is the final question in this test." She reiterated.
"I was being tested?" I asked.
"Yes, each question was designed to reveal different aspects of your personality."
"Did the mirror shattering indicate that I failed?" I asked.
"There is no pass or fail, these are simply aids to help you identify certain aspects about yourself." She answered simply
"So like a self discovery exam?" I surmised.
"I suppose."
"Now you said this was the first test, will the second test be the same? Do I have to prepare in any way?" I asked.
"Before we discuss the next test I must ask that you collect some Ego, you may find it simply by satisfying your curiosity." She explained.
"Ego… as in like a superiority complex?" I asked.
"No, here Ego is a measurement of curiosity and intrigue, how invested you are in learning and discovery." She explained.
"In fact I may be able to help you in understanding what Ego is and in the process help you earn some for the next time you visit me." She added.
"You can't earn curiosity?" I asked quietly.
"Unfortunately without more Ego, it is very difficult to both explain and understand what Ego is. In the meantime I can lend you this book, it will help you earn Ego." She explained as she handed me a small book.
She seemed a little miffed at me questioning her definition of Ego, so I didn't push it, especially seeing as she seemed to know far more about this place than I did, something she'd already pointed out.
I took the book and thanked her for it, once she'd acknowledged my gratitude I flipped it over to see the cover.
"No longer human… certainly ominous enough."
"A gentleman by the name of Oba feeling a sense of separation from the rest of humanity turns to foolishness to create relationships, falling to many less than honorable habits and qualities, which eventually leads into a sense of self depreciation."
"That makes me feel much better about trying to earn anything from this book." I noted dryly.
"Is that what sarcasm sounds like?" she asked. In hindsight I honestly don't know if she herself was being sarcastic, or if she was really that deprived of human interaction to have never heard it first hand.
I thanked her again and turned to leave. As I opened the door I opened the book, propping the two sides of its covers between my fingers and began to read as I walked.
End of 1-1
