Disclaimer : I do not own Skip Beat or Skip Beat characters

A/N: This is my first time writing fan fic and publishing any kind of story. This is the first chapter - I have already written close to 20 chapters but the story is still not complete. I will post them roughly once a week. The text includes some Japanese words and phrases - please let me know if you need explanations of them. Reviews are welcome.

Chapter 1

On the set of "Family love", a woman in a business suit is sitting in a chair.

Nearby a group of young men are talking.

"I'm going to talk to her." one says.

"Don't" his friend urges. "Don't die the Shinigami death."

But the actor goes anyway.

"Why Shinigami?" one of the ones left asks the friend.

"Because she is scary. And it is a pun- a bad pun on her last name."

"Mogami-san" says the young male actor to the woman in the business suit. "I have watched all your dramas ever since I was a teen. I loved you in Dark moon and every single drama since then. I even have a clip of the Kyurara commercial."

The woman looks up at him.

"That's not my name." she says. The actor is taken aback by her look.

"I'm Kyoko Hizuri. Nice to meet you." she says with a look that says it is anything but nice. The young actor just backs off and goes back to his friends.

"Don't know why she made such a fuss. Mogami is what I have heard others in her agency call her. It's not like she is actually related to that Hizuri Kuu, is she?" he can be heard saying petulantly


At the LME president - Lory Takarada's office, Kyoko is sitting with her characteristic upright posture in a chair. The president is in sitting in front of her pouring a cup of tea slowly. It has been five minutes since Kyoko was shown to her chair and neither of them has yet spoken.

Kyoko finally sighs and says, "So president, why did you ask me to come in?"

"I have something I need to inform you of" the president replies still pouring the tea. "I have been seeing your dramas recently and they are …..boring"

Kyoko is shocked by this. Critics had said many things about her acting recently but she couldn't recall 'boring' having ever been applied to her or her acting.

"Of course your acting is flawless and perfect but there is no heart in it." says the President anticipating her defense.

"But... everyone including the director says..." she tries to refute what he is saying but somewhere in heart she knows the truth.

" That your acting is perfect and flawless. Your character representation is on point and you are doing a great job and are critical to the drama's success? Something like that?"

"Yes." replies Kyoko unable to say anything else. Her heart fills up with anticipated dread.

"They only mean that you are "acting" Kyoko-chan. If you were really doing a good job, they would forget it was acting. They wouldn't praise you so technically. The critics say your acting is good because they can't find put their finger on anything wrong with it. The directors say you are critical because it is your name that they want for the success of their drama. Your fans - have they not recently been saying you are not doing the kind of roles you are meant for? "

That's right. They have been saying that... Kyoko realizes with a start. Why would they say that? Unless...

"Your fans still love you Mogami-san but not for long. They loved you for your exceptional roles of yesterday. But if you continue with this heartless boring performance soon they will all leave you for good. "

Kyoko has no response to that.

"Tell me Kyoko-chan, when is the last time someone said they loved you?"

Kyoko looks up pained.

"Your fans I mean" Lory hastily adds. "Has anyone come to you and said your acting moved them? When was the last time."

"The last time was before..." Kyoko is unable to complete that sentence.

"It's not like I want to torture you by bringing "that" up Mogami-san. But your acting as it stands now, is a drag on the other actors that you work with. I cannot allow you to continue to handicap your co-workers like this and threaten the reputation of this company. You are no longer allowed to take on any more acting jobs."

At this Kyoko feels like the bottom has dropped out from under her. I may never come back to the surface she thinks. At this rate I will just disappear into nothing.

"Please President don't say that, acting is all that I have left. If I don't have acting I don't have a reason for living. "

President Takarada is surprised by the intensity of that statement. He sighs.

"Even if you says that with such a face Kyoko-chan, you and I know that it is not true. There is someone who still needs you to live even if he doesn't realize it yet."

Kyoko is unable to speak at the memory of *that* person. But she steels herself calling her indomitable acting skills to her aid.

"I don't know who you are talking about. There is no such person."

"There." says the President triumphantly. "that right there is the reason your acting has lost its spark. Everytime you go close to feeling any kind of emotion, you shield yourself behind 7 gates. I wonder when it is that you decided feeling any kind of emotion is a road to hell."

I am already in hell thinks Kyoko. I don't have any emotions left to feel

"I will not tell you to go see him." continues the president. "It is your life after all. What I can and will do is my job. Which is to protect the reputation of this company. And this company has no need for fake actors like you."

There is silence from Kyoko.

"Kyoko-chan, you remember, years ago, you said right there feeling hatred for your ugly thoughts and I showed you a mirror. Well today, here is a mirror again." President Takarada hands Kyoko a mirror. Looking into the mirror, Kyoko sees a blank face. A face devoid of vitality and hope. Vitality and hope are things Kyoko lost long ago along with other equally precious things.

"Do you think the Kyoko from three years ago would sit there simply if I took away "acting" from her? The most important thing from her life?"

"President. I am not the Kyoko from three years ago." so saying, Kyoko walks out.

After Kyoko leaves, Luto asks the President.

"Was it really ok to let her go like that? What if she decides to do something drastic?"

"The Kyoko that I know would never turn away from a challenge. Yes it is a huge risk but its not like I haven't taken precautions."

Kyoko's manager Yashiro calls Kyoko on the phone.

"Kyoko-chan, are you done for the day? Should I come pick you up?"

"No thank you Yashiro-san. President Takarada said some things that I would like to think about."

"So-ka. Understood. Then I will leave you to think about it. Please take care driving back home and have a good night."

"Good night Yashiro-san"


Driving back from the President's place, Kyoko's mind is awhirl. Not act anymore. What would she have left? *He* has long left her and the other most important entity, she can't even think about it now. What would she do? What could she do other than act? No that's not true. Kyoko was no longer able to even act. That is what the President said. Is that true? What if that is true?

And so Kyoko's mind went chasing her thoughts around and around in circles.

That is why Kyoko almost didn't see the boy on the road till it was too late. She swerves the car at the last minute to avoid the boy and goes straight for a lamp post.

"An angel" is the first word she says when waking up. Because that is what the face that appeared looks like. Pale with golden eyes and flowing bronze hair. And that smile. Kyoko felt like smiling herself when looking at that smile.

"Of course." She said sitting up for she had been lying down. "I am in heaven."

Then she thought. 'No not heaven. One who is cursed such as I deserve to go to hell.'

The sound of laughter like tinkling bells filled the room.

" One-san, you are weird" said the boy.

There was the sound of a car honking on the road. 'There can't be cars in heaven' thinks Kyoko trying to rationalize ,'and even if there are, they wouldn't honk so depressingly' . And the one-room apartment she is in couldn't by any stretch of imagination belong in heaven. For a minute, Kyoko thinks that perhaps the boy was a fairy prince forced to live in the human world with no money, kind of what she had thought of Kuon so many years ago. She laughs at the thought and then her heart stops. When had she last laughed so wholeheartedly? The sound felt so strange and unfamiliar.

"One-san, why is your face is scrunched up like two black worms kissing?"

Black worms?

The boy traces both her eyebrows with his fingers. "See. Two black worms."

'What a funny child!' thinks Kyoko.

"What happened? Did I hit you? How did I get here?" asks Kyoko.

"You crashed into a lamppost and lost consciousness. I brought you here to my apartment. "

"Why didn't you call an ambulance or something?" asks Kyoko.

"What can they do? I don't trust them."

Kyoko is puzzled by the response but she is still groggy from the accident so she lets it go.

"Well I am glad you are ok and I didn't hit you."

"Yes. One-san spared my life. But you shouldn't have. I walked out into the road because I wanted to kill myself." the boy replies.