L

I am being honest for the first time in my life.

I wasn't brain-smart. Light was brain-smart, and I wasn't. What an asshole. I didn't know that either. But I knew I was jealous. It's hard to talk about Light. That smile still haunts me.

Why do I make mistakes? Because I learn from them. That's one reason why I kept Matsuda around. Because he's an idiot who makes mistakes. And I learned from his mistakes. Pretty crazy, huh? Also, he was always nice. It gets better, trust me.

I see clues in crazy things. I see it in everything I do. Especially in crazy and weird stuff. That's why I was so weird.

I sat that way because it made me look like a cat. It reminded me of a cat. It made me feel like a cat. I almost wanted to be a cat. Watch the anime again and watch out for that, if you don't believe me. I wanted to be like a cat, because cats hunt mice. Criminals were like mice to me. And I was the cat. And there is something that is kind of hard to admit. Another reason why I wanted to be a cat. Cats get petted. I always wanted to be cared for. I thought everyone hated me secretly. Even Watari. I know now that he has always cared for me. It hurts that I knew too late.

I wanted to be a cat, but I lost because I was scared.

A scared cat that climbed too far. Too far up the tree. The rooftop. I climbed too far up the rooftop. I was so scared that I experienced auditory hallucinations. I actually heard bells. That's why I knew I would die. I acted like a fool. I can't believe that all of what happened exists as a cartoon. And you call me strange?

Bye for now.