Brooke lay on the floor of my shop in a pool of blood all I could think about is a conversation between me and my enemy turned friend, Rachel….

-------------FLASHBACK-------------

It was the night of the party Rachel and I threw to help those who needed to forget the shooting. Lucas had left and that pretty much ended the party for everyone because he lost the most that day. He was so mad that we did this, that I did this.

He thought I was being insensitive and then he threw the fact that I wasn't in the school the day of the shooting in my face.

"Hey slut. You okay?" my red headed frenemy Rachel asked interrupting my thoughts.

"Hi whore. Yeah I'm fine. Why?" I asked with a cautious look on my face. Hey I have every right to be cautious around Rachel, she has been hell bent to drive me crazy since she got here.

"Well Brooke if my sexy boyfriend yelled at me and basically called me a bitch for trying to help people heal the best way I know how, I wouldn't be 'fine.' She said all the while smirking.

Brooke sighed and dropped the bitchy Brooke exterior, "I don't know I thought this party was a way for everyone I love to start healing a midst all the craziness that has happened to us. Especially Lucas. He knows I didn't do any of this to be insensitive to him losing Keith. "

Rachel stopped joking around when she realized Brooke was really torn up about it. "Hey listen, if Lucas really knew you he would not accuse of something that comes naturally to you. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why are you with Lucas? I mean all I heard since I got here is that he hurt you by hooking up with your best friend. And for that matter why are you still talking to that bitch?" Rachel found it hard to believe that Brooke could be a total bitch to someone she just met but forgive the two people who hurt her most.

"I love him. Lucas and Peyton made a mistake that they don't plan on repeating."

"OK. But if they loved you as much as you love them then they would realize you are hurting just like they are."

"How am I hurting like they are? Peyton got shot and almost died. And Lucas lost his Uncle Keith, who was like a father to him." Brooke was confused as to where Rachel was headed with this.

"B, they all have people who were in the school when the shooting happened to relate to. Haley and Nathan have each other. I have Mouth and Skills. And as much as it might pain you to hear it Lucas and Peyton have each other. Lucas was right when he said that you don't know how it feels because you weren't there."

Brooke looked at the floor when Rachel said this. When she didn't object Rachel continued on…

"You don't know what it was like in there because you were outside waiting to see who was coming out. Brooke, everyone keeps asking the people who were IN the school how they are feeling about everything but they have yet to ask anyone how the people who were OUT side the school how they are about the situation. So I'm asking how you feel."

At this point Brooke was looking at Rachel and processing her words. She looked away before answering staring at the rows of lockers in hallway.

"I feel broken….I had to sit for hours on end wondering if my friends and the love of my life were ok. Do you know how many different scenarios went through my head of what was happening? One of the worst ones was imagining Lucas coming out that building headed straight for me but not quite making it before a bullet hit him. My Lucas could have died that day. Peyton could have died and almost did. Nathan, Haley, Mouth, Skills, or You. Anyone of you could have died that day and I wouldn't know what to do. I see how they all know how to talk to each other and I can't help but wish I was in the school that day…"

"Brooke why would you want that? You don't wish you were there. It was terrifying. Don't you ev-"

"Rachel I do. That way if I was in there I could feel a part of the group and not be the outsider looking in"

Rachel sat there not knowing what to say next so I decided to save her the trouble and make my exit.

"Listen, Rach this talk helped. So thanks. I'm gonna head out. I'll see you later" With that Brooke proceeded down the hallway.

"Bye Bitch"

"Bye RacHO"

--------------END OF FLASHBACK-------------

That was the night I realized out of the five of us I was always going to be on the outside. Peyton and Lucas belonged together and eventually found their way back to each other. Nathan and Haley will forever and always be Naley plus one James Lucas Scott. And I, Brooke Davis, will always be alone.

So as I lay here no longer feeling the pain shooting throughout my body I can't help but wish for death because maybe then I won't be so alone.

As I slowly drift into the darkness that has been calling my name for the past five minutes I am vaguely aware of the very attractive man that has come barreling into my trashed store until I hear him speak…

"Hello Miss? Are you okay?" I can't respond even though I want to. "I called 911 they are on their way. Can you talk?" No response. "Ok. My name is Julian Baker and I'm stay with you. Everything is going to be ok?"

His name was the last thing I heard before I dipped out of consciousness….