Alex lay in bed that night, her brain unable to switch off as she debated the situation in her head. On one hand, she needed to be loyal to Dauntless. She chose this life, she didn't want to live it as an outcast, as the person no one trusted. She came to Dauntless to reach her potential and she had to be faithful to her faction to do so.

On the other hand, she didn't want to betray her friend. Jack had saved her life. Several times. And he had shown her what it meant to be capable and strong. He had opened up a new world for her, shown her what she could dream of, what she could achieve with her body and her mind. And above all, he had given her the courage to follow these dreams, to work for them and to take paths that she would never have dared to take before him. He gave her courage. Without him, she would be a different person today. She probably wouldn't even be in Dauntless in the first place.

But even before she thought it possible, Dauntless had been her dream, she had always wanted to feel strong and independent, to be brave enough to prove her potential.

She could feel the pressure mounting with each passing minute as the clock ticked away, while a million thoughts raced through her mind. There had to be a way to get both. Could she somehow signal Jack what was happening? Would he play along far enough to secure her place in Dauntless? Could she work with false information? Maybe just act dumb? None of the ideas that came to her mind could stand the test of time. They would always have to stand up to either Jack's or Eric's keen senses and in this plan, she could not afford to make any mistakes.

When she finally fell asleep, she played out one scenario after the other in her dreams and when she woke up a few hours later, she had the impression that she had not slept at all that night.

One day was not enough time.

"So, do you have a plan?" Eric greeted Alex as she emerged from her room for breakfast the next morning.

Alex's clenched her jaw. "Not yet."

"It better be a good one. If you're unable to contact him, we'll have to seriously reconsider your future here," Eric warned.

"You really don't trust me, do you?"

"Why would I?"

With a huff, she turned towards the door, ready to leave his apartment behind. However, the tension lingered, a weight on her shoulders that would resurface later in the evening when she found herself once again confronted by Eric about her plan.

"So, what is your plan, Initiate?" Eric asked, the two of them now seated in the living room, Alex on the couch and Eric in an armchair.

"I have an idea how to contact him." And no plan. She had racked her brain all day, but no plan had met her requirements, because for every plan she found scenarios of how everything could go wrong, how the other side would expose her game and, in the worst case, she would lose everything. Her brain failed to see the risks for what they were, optional scenarios in most cases with incredibly small probabilities. All she saw was the chance of losing both and that prospect would not let her go.

"An idea?" Eric asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The thing with Jack is that he finds you, not the other way around." She was overcome with guilt at the mere mention of his name.

Eric raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"So, we have this place where we used to meet. I know he has it under supervision. If I go there and wait for a while, chances are, he'll come."

"And if he doesn't?"

"I could leave him a note."

As Eric observed her, Alex wished she could peek inside his mind. His face was unreadable.

"Alright," Eric finally agreed, rising from his seat, and retrieving a stack of paper and a pencil. "Write your note."

Alex frowned.

"What? You really thought I'd let you leave him a note without checking its contents?"

"One can hope," she replied with a cheeky smile trying to lighten the mood. Or maybe trying to distract herself from what she had to do.

It took her a while to craft the letter, carefully considering her words. She didn't want to give Jack the feeling she might be using him, nor obviously fail at the mission. After a lot of consideration, she handed the letter back to Eric for his inspection.

"I'm going with 'I need a friend'."

Eric glanced at the letter and raised an eyebrow. "No greeting?"

"Never."

He began reading the letter aloud, his voice filling the room. "I hope you're well. I'm sorry for how things ended the last time. You were right, I underestimated him. That sneaky bastard" Eric paused, looking up at Alex with raised eyebrows. She shrugged and smiled smugly. "I think Jack is going to like that part."

Eric shook his head and continued to read.

"That sneaky bastard planted a bug in my shoes after the night I snuck out to see you." Eric looked up again. "You messed with the cameras to see Jack that one night?"

"Actually, Jack made sure the cameras were messed with so I could sneak out."

Eric gave her a disapproving look, before reading the next line.

"Thank God you took care of the truth serum stash." Eric took a sharp breath as he looked up again.

She gave him an apologetic smile and shrugged again. "And to get rid of Dauntless' truth serum."

He shook his head, returning to read the rest of the letter. "They made me take a lie detector test, so they know about our past ... I'm allowed to stay until they decide whether I'm a threat or not.

It's been rough. I was being supervised 24/7 for the last few weeks. I even got escorted to training every day. Only this week, did they lift my supervision a little bit. I really wish I could have told you all those things in person. I need someone to talk to."

She tried to close herself off from her own words so as not to doubt her own decision.

"So?", she asked after a few more moments of silence.

"Alright. We'll try the location. Where is it?"

"In one of the abandoned areas of the city."

"Which exit?"

"Oh, I'm not going there by the train."

Eric raised his eyebrows again. He had to do that a lot this evening.

"Chances are that Jack has people observing the Dauntless building and I would never sneak out by taking the train, the chances of being seen by another Dauntless member are way too high. If I take the train, Jack might figure out this whole thing is staged."

"So how will you get there instead?"

"Like the last time."

"And that was how?"

"You're not going to like this but Jack helped me hide a motorcycle near one of the older Dauntless buildings. I'll get there over the roof and then drive to the place with the motorcycle."

Eric sighed. "You're right. I don't."

She looked at him uncertainly.

He got up. "Alright, let's get you ready."

Alex could feel her heart beating in her chest as she followed Eric through the corridor. Alex thought back to the workout today when she had jogged around the lake with Lucas and Kylie.

"Have you talked to Eric?" Kylie was very eager to finally get Alex to join them for a night at the Forge.

"No, there wasn't a suitable moment."

"Then you have to create suitable moments."

"Currently, I primarily have to pass initiation, everything else seems pretty optional."

"Pass? You're the last person who needs to worry about passing. The next time you fight Jason and win, you'll be ranked first place!", Lucas interjected.

"That doesn't mean it'll still be that way at the end of initiation. But yeah, if it fits, maybe I'll ask." Alex had absolutely no head for this conversation right now and just wanted to brush it off as quickly as possible. She had to figure out how to spy on Jack without really spying on him.

"Last time I saw that there are apartments directly above the forge. Is that where you think you'll end up if you have one of the last placements? It must be horribly loud there", Lucas said.

"The apartments after the initiation are also distributed by ranking?" Kylie asked.

"At least that's what I heard."

"Then thank God we don't have to worry about that. With Alex, we can probably secure an apartment on the upper floors!" Kylie sounded very enthusiastic.

"Hm?" Alex on the other hand sounded very confused.

"Haven't I told you about my plans yet?"

"Not that I know of."

"Ohh! After Initiation, we'll move in together! With your #1 ranking and Lucas and my top 15 rankings, we'll get the best available apartment, without question!"

"Maybe even with a balcony!" Lucas added.

"And view of this goddamn lake, so we can enjoy it next year when the initiates pant here every morning." Kylie laughed diabolically.

"So, are you in?" They both smiled at her.

Alex thought for a moment.

"Yeah, I can see us living together." And she actually could. She could see her future in Dauntless. At that moment, an image from her Choosing ceremony flashed through her mind. Blood sizzling on hot coals.

She had chosen Dauntless. Today she chose again.