A/N: Welcome back to a brand-new chapter, guys! This isn't the final chapter of this prequel story, but it might be if you don't count the epilogue which is currently in the works.
Many of you might recognize several scenes in this chapter from Part 1. Props to whoever recognizes them :)
On with the story!
Chapter 11: Together Again…Someday
During the Doctor's and River's first few nights as parents, they both experienced several nightmares, especially the Doctor. Of course, River was dealing with her own nightmares that were similar to her husband's, but the Doctor's were seemingly worse; at least, he thought of them to be that way. As most normal parents did when starting out, they dreamt of several scenarios where things went horribly wrong while raising their child—some examples being that little Nova would get seriously hurt (or even killed) when getting into something she shouldn't, or that one of the Doctor's enemies would find Nova and do horrible things to her in front of her powerless parents. River seemed to have most of these nightmares, but the Doctor's nightmares were a little more intense. His would mostly be about the consequences of the Silence's experiments that were performed on his daughter before his arrival to save her, specifically their experiments with her Regeneration Energy. He experienced several nightmares of teenage or adult Nova regenerating, but her Regenerations would harm, or even kill, those around her and sometimes even herself, and Nova would have absolute zero control of her energy. He even had nightmares about his enemies finding her because of her uncontrollable Regenerations. He had been thinking nonstop about the outcome of these experiments ever since he was first told about them from that soldier he ran into on the ship.
Every time the new father would wake up from these nightmares, he would wake up to Nova crying as well. Through their psychic link, he would sense her fear—rather, she would sense her father's fear projected into her own mind and possibly give her nightmares of her own. Every time this would happen, he would take Nova out of his old cot and calmly walk with her in his arms through the endless hallways of the TARDIS in an attempt to calm both her and himself as River slept on (or at least tried to). He would often bring her to the most comfortable place in the TARDIS—the library—and would sit with her by the fireplace and tell her stories of his past adventures, and even adventures he planned to take Nova when she was older, as she fell back asleep in his arms. If his In-Laws were awake, they would try to help with Nova as well, but by the second day, they ended up having to go back to work, and so the Doctor took them back home while River stayed on board to continue recovering from childbirth as well as lack of sleep.
Over time, his fears escalated, and he felt that Nova was no longer safe with them, and not just because of the nightmares (though the nightmares tended to stir up his fears as well). He mostly feared that these nightmares would become real, and with there being an incredibly high chance that they would, he decided, with much regret, that he and River would have to make the one decision he hoped to never make—give their child up for adoption. On the third day, he decided to tell his wife about this decision and enforce it, despite what she thought about it the first time they discussed it back when it was just a possibility for when worse came to worse.
He found her in one of the lounge chairs in the TARDIS library, having seemingly just finished breastfeeding their daughter.
"Hey, River," he said as he casually walked in and leaned over her shoulder at their daughter falling asleep once again in her mother's arms. "How is she?"
"Beautiful as always, my love," his wife smiled. "Just like you." She looked up as her husband leaned in and kissed her on the lips before sitting on the sofa next to her.
"And how are you?" he asked curiously as he crossed his legs and leaned on the armrest toward his wife and sleeping daughter.
"Better but exhausted," River sighed. "I never expected raising a child to be this hard. I feel like I haven't slept in weeks."
"Neither have I," the Doctor sighed as well. He decided not to share with her the nightmares he'd been having, feeling too disturbed by them as it was.
However, River decided to share her own nightmares with him seemingly on impulse. "Every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing her—Madame Kovarian—always coming after our daughter and doing horrible things to her; and every time I see that happening, I can't do anything to stop them. I always feel powerless; all I can do is watch that witch torture her over and over, just like I watched them put her in that machine. I couldn't do anything because it was all being recorded live, and they locked me in that Infirmary. Ever since I saw what they did to her, I've been having nightmares about it, and they just keep getting worse. Just last night, I had a dream that they trained Nova to kill you, using that star's energy, and I was forced to watch my own daughter kill you right in front of me. It was the most brutal death I'd ever seen; I'll spare you the details, but I could do absolutely nothing to stop it. Again, all I could do was watch."
"I'm sorry, River," her husband sighed sincerely, "but, you know, those are all just dreams, yeah? They're not real. Vastra, Strax, and I stopped Kovarian from taking our daughter away; we saved her. As long as she's with us, she's safe. We won't let anything happen to her; we both made that promise long before she was born."
"Yes, but how long can we keep that promise?" River said, her panic seemingly escalating. "What if there comes a time when we can't keep that promise, or we fail to keep it? What if there comes a time when we can't protect her? Like all parents, eventually we'll be empty-nesters, and she'll be left on her own to take care of herself, but what if she can't? Especially with her being Deviant…"
"River—" the Doctor sighed in an attempt to calm his wife, but she continued, interrupting him.
"What if, no matter how hard we try, we can't raise her? You have so many enemies out there; if they discovered Nova's existence, they'd come after her like a moth to a flame."
"River, please—"
"No matter how hard we try to protect her from them, what if we can't? What if…" River suddenly paused, swallowing back a knot that had formed in her throat as well as sensing the real reason why her husband came in to find her. "What if we have to give her up? That's what you came in here to tell me, isn't it?"
"River, please, let me—"
"I know we've had this conversation before, and I already told you, I'm not doing it! As I said a-million-and-one times, we'll find another way! We always do!"
"River, there is no other way," the Doctor sighed sadly. "Now that the Silence know of her existence, they'll stop at nothing to get to her, to steal her back from us. We can't raise her here in the TARDIS, especially since the Silence have snuck on board before, and they'll do it again when we least expect it; and we can't have Amy and Rory raise her, since the Silence know where they live. I'm sorry, River. We don't have any other choice. We have to give her up."
"There has to be another way!" River cried, desperate to keep her daughter close and watch her grow up like any normal child. "Anything!"
"I'm sorry, River," the Doctor shook his head regretfully, "there's not. I've thought of everything; there is nothing else we can do. Either we give Nova up to another family, or we continue raising her ourselves and risk her being discovered by the Silence again, and I for one am not making the latter choice, and I know you don't either."
River was silent for a few minutes, seemingly contemplating her husband's decision. She hated the idea of being separated from her child, as was the Doctor, but even at this point she was beginning to agree with her husband that this was the better choice to ensure their child's safety. "If we must give her up," she sighed, "who could we trust to raise her and keep her hidden? There's no one I know, besides my parents, that can raise her."
"I'll search for someone. There must be many couples on Earth looking to adopt. I'll get in contact with all of them. At least one of them is bound to say 'yes.'"
"Even if you found someone willing to adopt our child, how would we be able to trust them? One of us should stick around and keep an eye on the family to make sure they keep to their word before we just leave Nova with them."
"River, relax. I'll explain everything. Or, if you'd prefer to, you can. Either way, we'll make absolutely sure our daughter is as safe as can be…at least until she comes of age."
"So…we will be able to see her again?" River said in a hopeful tone.
The Doctor paused before sighing. "Well…I don't know. She may not be safe with us, no matter what age she is, but she's certainly not safe with us at this age. Now that the Silence know of her existence, it's only a matter of time before the news would spread to the rest of the universe. Since she's only an infant, she's harmless—for the most part—but she could still be exposed to danger. We may not be able to reveal ourselves to her until she becomes a teenager or older, or until she goes through her first Regeneration. That's when she'll really begin to come into her Deviancy, and then she will be at her most vulnerable; we'll definitely need to be around when that happens so we can teach her about those dangers. In the meantime, we'll have to let someone else raise her—make her believe she's human and prevent her from knowing anything about us or her true origins until the time is right."
"When will it be time to bring her back into our lives—show her who she really is?"
"Again, I don't know. Perhaps it might never happen."
"Don't say that!" River frowned. "Don't you dare say that! You can't keep me from my child forever! You have no idea how long I've wanted to raise a child of my own! Don't you dare take that opportunity away from me, like the Silence took that away from my parents! If I can't raise my child, at least let me watch her grow up, even if it's from a distance."
The Doctor paused, considering his wife's suggestion. "Hmm… Perhaps we can make that happen. But, River, you must listen to me… If you watch her grow up, even from a distance, you can't make any attempts to raise her yourself; you must let the family raise her. As I said, she can't know who we are or even what she is, possibly ever. As long as she thinks herself to be human, she should be safe; probably a good idea to ask the couple to give Nova an entirely different name to make sure she's one-hundred percent safe. I may even block my end of our psychic link so she doesn't sense me around. If she's ever exposed to danger, you can protect her from them, but you can't let her see you. If she does see you, that might be acceptable as long as she doesn't learn who you really are. In fact, it's probably best if she never knows who we are; sadly, that's the only way she'll truly be safe."
"Eventually she'll have to know who and what she really is," River pointed out. "It is her birthright, after all."
"Perhaps you're right," the Doctor nodded. "Perhaps I could give her a small gift that represents her true origins, but it'll have to be something that she wouldn't know what it is or where it comes from right away. Something like a sonic screwdriver…or a locket." This last statement made him remember the locket he was given from his guardians when he was a kid, right before he was sent to the Academy, and he immediately thought it would be perfect for his daughter as a coming-of-age gift; he doubted she would recognize the circular symbols and pinpoint them to Gallifrey. He even thought that having her very own sonic screwdriver would be ideal for his daughter to help her out of a tight spot if he or River wasn't around to save her. "Perhaps I'll even write a letter to her, explaining our situation," he added, "of course, not in full detail. Only that we gave her up to protect her from our enemies, but we still love and care for her despite this decision."
"Yes, I was just about to suggest that," River nodded in agreement. "I would hate for her to think we gave her up because we didn't love her."
"Of course we love her!" he smiled as he leaned over and kissed Nova on her head. "And we always will." He then paused, sensing River's worry that she would never get to interact with her daughter, and he assured her, "Don't worry, River. We will see her again…one day." He paused again, suddenly thinking of the 'Trenzalore' prophecy, and added, "And perhaps one day she might take over for me when I'm gone. How brilliant would that be? Er, in the far future, of course." He had no idea when he would have to go to Trenzalore—wherever that was—but he knew that the universe would be doomed if he was no longer around to save it. He imagined training his own daughter to take his place, traversing the universe in the TARDIS with her own companions, saving planets and defeating his enemies time and time again, just like he always did for the past seven-hundred years, and he imagined how proud he would be to see that happen one day. 'Nova Susan Song: the Savior of the Universe,' like her father before her.
"Yes, that would be brilliant," River smiled in agreement. She then said as she wrapped her arms tighter around her daughter, "In the meantime, I won't let her leave my arms until the day we actually give her up. I sincerely hope that day isn't anytime soon."
"Regrettably, it may be sooner than you think," the Doctor sighed sadly. "Not that I disagree with you. I won't let her leave my sight until then either."
No doubt the parents lived up to that promise as they took turns—either together or separately—spending as much time with their daughter as possible before the inevitable happened. During River's turns, the Doctor spent the time searching for potential couples looking to adopt. After several hours, he was able to find a recently married couple in a large town in the US state of Kansas from the late 1990s that was looking to adopt a baby girl after several failed attempts at conceiving their own children, and he contacted them immediately, explaining their situation (excluding any and all details relating to Time Lords or non-humans in general). During the meeting, he used the term 'abilities' to describe Nova's Deviancy, and he explained the importance of keeping these 'abilities' secret from everyone, including Nova herself if at all possible. He even recommended that the couple give Nova an entirely different name to better hide her from her true origins and from anyone who may be of any danger to her. After a short time, the couple agreed to raise Nova as their own, and they arranged a date to officially adopt her with her brand-new 'fake' name.
Of course, on the day of adoption, the Doctor wasn't remotely ready to give up his child. Instead, he stayed in the TARDIS library, cradling his daughter tightly to his chest and refusing to say goodbye (he hated goodbyes as much as he hated pears). He couldn't keep himself from crying and thinking he'd never see his child again, and how much he regretted making that decision, despite it being the only decision he had.
"Sweetie…" his wife whispered softly as she walked in and sat calmly next to him, wrapping her arms around him. "Honey… We're almost to Stilwell. You should've brought her to the Control Room by now."
"I know, River, I know," he sighed sadly, never taking his eyes off his daughter. "I'm sorry, I just…" He struggled to speak, his voice shaky as he struggled to fight back tears. "I would like some more time with her. Just a few more minutes with her… Alone. Please." He cradled his daughter closer to his chest, like nothing in the universe could take her away from him.
River forced a smile as she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek. "Of course, my love. Meet me in the Control Room when you're ready." She bent over and kissed her daughter on her head before leaving her husband alone once more.
The moment his wife was out of earshot, the Doctor immediately began sobbing, this time uncontrollably; even his daughter began crying with him, showing how powerful their psychic link truly was. He felt that Nova would be taken away from him just like River was taken away from Amy and Rory. He didn't know whether he would ever see Nova again, much like Amy and Rory felt about River. He feared that he might never have any kind of social interaction with his daughter, fearing he would attract too much danger to them, which was why he would only let River watch over her instead. He knew this was the only way to keep her safe, not just from his enemies but from himself as well.
Once he calmed down a bit, he began walking back to the Control Room with Nova in his arms.
"Oh, Nova…" he whispered as he walked tearfully through the hallways. "I wish it never had to be this way, but it is the only way to keep you safe. To keep you safe from them…from me." He instantly cried upon saying the word 'me,' failing to prevent the tears from splashing down on Nova's blanket. He cradled her more tightly as he continued walking, even purposefully slowing his pace so as to stall time. Eventually he reached the Control Room, and he knew he was now out of time.
"I'm here, River, with Nova," he said to her as he approached her as she flew the TARDIS to their destination. "Do you have the box with her gifts?"
"I do," she nodded toward the navy-blue box sitting on the chair that was tied shut with a neat silver ribbon. "The box is sitting on the chair. It's all set. I even put your letter inside."
"Good," he nodded. "Be sure to give them the box once you hand Nova over."
"I will," she assured him. "Don't worry, sweetie; I've got everything covered. You don't have to do this if you don't think you can handle it."
"Thank you, River," the Doctor nodded again. "I really appreciate that. I always know I can count on you."
"Anytime, sweetie," she forced another sincere smile. After a few seconds, she said once the TARDIS settled, "We arrived. It's time."
The Doctor sighed, swallowing back another tight knot that got lodged in his throat, as he brushed his tearstained cheek against his daughter's forehead. "I love you, Nova Susan Song, now and forever, 'til the end of Time." He saw a sudden tear fall on her tiny cheek, but he didn't brush it away, thinking that lone tear will be the last she will have of him to take with her to her new family. A small part of him envied the couple for raising his daughter, but at least he was giving them the opportunity that they originally thought they would never have to raise a child in general, and he hoped that Nova would be just as happy with them as they would be to raise her.
After he handed Nova over to her mother for what felt like the last time, she automatically whispered in her daughter's ear, "I, too, shall love you 'til the end of Time, my sweet. We shall be together again… Someday." She attempted to fight back her own tears as she carried Nova away with her gift resting lightly across her chest.
The Doctor watched from the doorway of the TARDIS as River approached their daughter's new guardians and conversed with them for a few minutes before handing Nova off to her new mother. At this point, he lost his fight with his emotions, and he retreated back into the TARDIS and broke down in endless tears in the chair until River returned without their daughter in her arms.
"It is done, my love," she said once she returned and set the TARDIS to fly again, since the Doctor was too wracked with grief. Shortly after, she approached her distressed husband and wrapped her arms around him, and he immediately did the same, burying his face in her shoulder. "Oh, my Doctor…" she soothed, massaging the back of his neck in an attempt to calm him. "Hush, my love. We'll see her again." She couldn't keep herself from crying as well.
"I never wanted to do this," the Doctor continued weeping in her shoulder. "I really hoped there would be another way. Oh, River… I'm so sorry."
"I know, sweetie," she said as she pulled away and cupped her husband's face in her hands and wiped the tears from his cheeks, "but as you said, this is the only way. Don't worry. I'll look after her…from a distance, of course. I'll make sure nothing happens to her. She'll be perfectly fine with them, I'm sure. I'll keep you updated."
"I'd like to watch her as well…" he said, also refusing to live without watching his child grow up, "at least for a bit. Perhaps we can sneak into some major events she may be a part of, such as secondary and college graduation."
"As you wish, sweetie," River nodded. "We'll see what type of girl she grows up to be."
"No matter what she grows up to be," the Doctor declared, "I will be proud of the woman she becomes."
"As will I," River agreed before she got up and began manipulating with her Vortex Manipulator, setting it to take her a few years into Nova's future. "'til the next time, sweetie. I love you."
"I love you too, River. See you soon," the Doctor said before his wife zapped away into Space and Time.
As for the Doctor, he felt that he couldn't physically wait an ungodly number of years to see his daughter again, so he decided to cheat and time-travel to several years in her future, careful not to bump into River during her 'shifts.' He jumped to various points in Nova's (rather Sydney's, as that was the name her guardians decided to rename her) life, even physically watching her from a distance when River wasn't around. A couple of times, River caught him watching a little too closely, and she scolded him for it, but eventually she accepted that her husband was missing his daughter just as much and allowed him to watch their daughter with her sometimes. As Nova was growing up, the Doctor blocked his end of their psychic link so she didn't sense another one of her own kind in the area—better safe than sorry, he thought—and they both made sure that she never saw them. There were numerous times when Nova saw River, but River made sure she never knew her true identity, even though she sensed Nova's suspicions that she was her biological mother. Unlike River, the Doctor was better at hiding, and even if Nova did see him, she never suspected him to be anyone she had any connection with, certainly not biological, and so would just ignore him and forget she ever saw him, much to the Doctor's sadness, but at the same time he knew it was necessary.
As he feared, his daughter regenerated for the first time at the very young age of four due to aspirin, and he demanded that River watch over her much more often, now that her Deviancy had been properly awakened, and River agreed. Thankfully, now that her powers were fully awakened, she didn't seem bothered by the extra energy from the exploding star—then again, she wasn't even aware that it was present in her own body—which gave the Doctor much relief.
Throughout Nova's childhood, the parents discovered that she had developed an interest in music and developed a talent in both singing and acoustic guitar-playing. In school, her guardians signed her up for choir, and she became the most skilled singer in her class, and she was so skilled that the school's orchestra offered her to sing for them during some of their concerts, which the Doctor and River both attended. At the age of seven, after a close call with a Silence member at her school which River managed to prevent, Nova was signed up (per her guardians' request) for weekly aikido classes, aside from choir practices, and the Doctor thought that, despite him being against his daughter committing to violence, she would need to be able to defend herself when she came in contact with danger, and he partially approved of this decision.
At the age of sixteen, not long after she finished her Sophomore Year of high school, she and her best friend Hazel were targeted by a Sontaran bounty hunter that the Silence sent out to apprehend her, but Nova had already taken care of the Sontaran before the Doctor and River arrived, and the Doctor was impressed with how his daughter had handled the situation, despite her not knowing anything about Sontarans but somehow was able to figure out its weak spot on the back of its neck. Come high school graduation, the Doctor and River both made sure to attend (especially since she had graduated as the Valedictorian of her class), and the Doctor was briefly able to get away with congratulating Nova in person, though she was very confused since she obviously didn't know who they really were, which saddened them, but they understood all the same.
However, despite these successes throughout Nova's life, there were also numerous struggles, one of the greatest struggles being her struggle to fit in, which the Doctor sensed through their psychic link. Ever since she found out about her Regeneration ability, she had developed the fear of the entire world discovering her 'non-humanness' and therefore shunning her from the rest of society; that, or certain people, particularly her biological parents' enemies, would find her and use her powers for their own gain, or just straight-up kill her. Her entire life, she lived with these fears, but thankfully her guardians and best friend supported her after she told Hazel her secret after she was attacked by the Sontaran, and Nova used her Regeneration Energy to heal her friend's arm rather than end up with her arm amputated like it would've been. As much as the Doctor and River wanted to help their daughter overcome these fears, they couldn't do anything for her, knowing that keeping her safe, as well as keeping their true identities a secret from her, was much more important.
What they didn't expect was for their daughter to go rogue later that summer after graduation. Because her fear of attracting too much danger because of her otherworldly powers overwhelmed her, Nova had decided to move away from her guardians, now feeling like they'd be safer without her, and so she secretly moved out while her guardians were off at a concert in another town. As the Doctor and River suspected, their daughter travelled to London to find out more about her origins as well as them, but she didn't know that her best friend would end up following her and therefore get caught up in danger. The Doctor sensed it the exact moment it happened—the moment that his daughter was once again targeted by the Silence—and he immediately sent River off to save her. He figured that at this point, nowhere was save for Nova besides the TARDIS, and he felt that it was finally time to reveal themselves, much to River's happiness. They would finally get to see their daughter again, after all.
"Don't worry, sweetie," River said as she rushed off in search of her daughter, "I will bring her home."
Thankfully, River was successful at saving their daughter (though she was unsuccessful at saving her best friend), and he sensed the exact moment when they both returned to the TARDIS. He activated the camera on the outer shell of the TARDIS just in time to see River return with a familiar teenage girl in tow. He listened to their conversation as he waited anxiously and nervously by the TARDIS console.
"Well come on then!" River called to the girl from a distance. "We shan't keep your father waiting. He's been dying to meet you properly for a very long time." The Doctor couldn't help but chuckle at this, knowing that it hadn't been very long at all; to him it had only been a few days since they initially gave Nova up, and now she was back, eighteen years later from her point of view.
Meanwhile, the girl cautiously approached the TARDIS, seemingly afraid that she was about to be abducted or attacked. "But…it's a box," she said in a Midwestern American accent. "No way more than two people would be able to fit in there… Right?" The Doctor watched as she reached out to touch the TARDIS's outer surface, and he saw an expression of familiarity appear on her face as well as in her dark-green eyes, which were identical to his own.
"You'd be surprised," River said from off to the side. "Never judge a book by its cover."
"What, you're saying it's bigger on the inside, or something?" the girl chuckled like River had just told a joke.
"Snap your fingers and find out," she smirked at her daughter.
"Snap my fingers?" Nova frowned back, puzzled at her mother's request. "Why?"
"Just do it," River urged with a shrug, and Nova did just that, seemingly expecting nothing to happen, but something did happen in the form of the TARDIS's doors opening wide. The Doctor immediately ducked behind the console so as not to be seen as his daughter peeked inside in awe.
"Whoa…" she exclaimed. "That…that's not real." In that moment, the Doctor sensed her thinking that what she was seeing was some trick of the mind—an illusion—and he chuckled, knowing it was far from an illusion. He watched as his daughter peeked around the side of the box—as most of his companions usually did when seeing the TARDIS's impossible interior for the first time—to see if there was a connection with the wall behind it. Upon noticing that there was no connection, she cried while peeking back inside the TARDIS, "What the heck? How is it doing that? No way can this be real! This can't be possible! Not on this planet, anyway."
"You're absolutely right," River said. "It's Time Lord technology; it's often used to make things bigger on the inside, amongst other uses. Go on, make yourself at home. This is your home, after all."
Nova raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. "This box is my home?" She then frowned, that sense of familiarity growing stronger. "I mean…it does look familiar," she admitted as she timidly stepped inside for the very first time; technically this wasn't her very first time in the TARDIS, but it was her first time stepping inside with her own two feet. "Wow!" she exclaimed again as she looked around the room in awe. "This place is amazing! It's beautiful! Impossible, but beautiful!" She then turned back to River as she closed the doors behind them, and the Doctor decided, while his daughter was distracted, that now was the best time to finally reveal himself. He slowly stood up from his hiding spot behind the console as his daughter continued to River, "Although, I get the feeling like I've just stepped inside a Sci-Fi movie, coz if I didn't know better, I'd say this was a—"
"A spaceship?" he spoke up to his adult daughter, finishing her statement at the same time. "You'd be absolutely right if you did know better. Actually, you'd be half-right, coz this place is actually a spaceship as well as a time-machine. I'll explain later." He smiled down at her, happy to have his daughter back, this time all grown up. "Hello, Nova…"
A/N: TO BE CONTINUED!
Whoo! Nova's story has now come full circle! Fortunately her overall story isn't over yet; far from it, actually! There will be an epilogue at the end of this story, and then the story continues into "Part 2: Discovering."
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