Out Cold

Author's note: so, I decided to rewrite this because I didn't proofread it before submitting it the first time. Also, I didn't use any paragraphs... like some sort of literary savage. Also, there were plenty of grammar issues. So, introducing Out Cold Plus! Now with 90 percent less grammar errors OR YOUR MONEY BACK!)

Sonic and Tails are in this forest place. They are running through said forest place when Sonic says "Hey keed, I can no longer speed. I need a rest." After that he sits down and is breathing heavily. Tails, being concerned, asks "What's wrong Sonic, you're never this tired after a short run like this." Sonic replies "Well I don't feel so hot." Tails feels his head for a few seconds. His hand turns red and starts to smoke. He yanks it away and says "YOW! How can that be? You're burning up." "I don't know. But no rest for the weary. We gotta keep going." He tries to stand up, but Tails puts a hand on his shoulder and says "No. you may be well; you, but you're in no state to keep going. You've always told me to know my limits and not to push them too far. But now I'm telling you the same. You rest up. I'll get us some place safe." "But how are you gonna do that? I don't think you have the stamina to carry me too far." "Uhm... hold on. I'll be right back." Tails runs off in a blur of brown and returns with a scratch-built stretcher. He helps Sonic lay down on it. Tails then says "So the next town is only a mile away, right? I should be able to pull you there without too much trouble."

After half an hour of dragging, the duo reaches the next town, and head into its garbage dump. Tails says "Ok, I think we'll be safe here." Sonic replies "And how do you figure that?" "Like this…." Tails rapidly gathers various things from the junk yard. A few minutes later, he had gathered a massive pile of stuff. He says "Ok. This is everything I need to make this safe." Sonic replies "I still don't see your point little bro; but I'm just gonna have to trust you on this one." "Don't worry Sonic, I won't let you down." Working quickly Tails fashions a bed with Sonic Blue sheets and pillows. He helps Sonic into it. Next, he constructs a room around them. This room, in contrast to the bed, is painted Tails Brown. (Yeah, I know that he's orange. But in AoStH he's brown.) Finally, he furnishes the room with a nightstand, a chair, a stove, and some pots. The pots are cooking Chili soup. Tails says "Ok, now that I've got you in a bed, I have one final touch." He runs outside and comes back wearing a nurse's outfit. He looks at himself for a few seconds and says "Woops, wrong outfit." Then he runs out again. He comes back now wearing a doctor's outfit. He says, "That's better." Now, with his new outfit, he pulls out a tongue depressor and says, "Now say aaahh!" Sonic replies "Are you sure that's safe? You got it from the junk yard." "No, I didn't, I went to the local clinic. Once I told them about this, they gave me the stuff I needed. Now, although I think you just have a bad cold I just wanna check." "There's no way you know what you're doing." "Yes, there is. I am following instructions from this book." He takes out a book labeled "What's Up Doc? A book For Beginner Doctors" "Really Tails, is there a doctor in the house?" "No, it's just me. Now open up already." "Ok." Sonic opens his mouth and Tails puts in the stick. Meanwhile, Sonic thinks "Wow… this is just depressing." Next Tails takes out a stethoscope. He places it on the top right of Sonic's chest. Sonic says "I know you've always had a big heart, but it's in the wrong place. The heart is in the center of the chest." After that, he shines a light in Sonic's eyes. When he takes it away, Sonic says "Ugghh… You're a sight for sore eyes." Sonic says "Stop already, I have a headache, I think I'd like to just take a nap." (Darn, I can't think of any more puns... for now.) a tear rolls down Tails' face. He says "You're right. I'm no good at this. You're gonna be sick forever."

Sonic sees his friend's distress and thinks "Uh oh. I'm making him feel bad. Let's change the subject." He says "Hey Tails, all this sickness is making me hungry. What do you have cooking there?" Tails replies "Chili soup. According to the book, this is one of the best things to help treat a cold." "Well then lemme try some. That smells good." So, Tails transfers some in a bowl and hands it to Sonic who grabs a spoon and takes a mouthful. When the soup hits his tongue, his eyes widen. He thinks "Whoa. Tails is some cook. This is amazing." As if reading his thoughts, Tails says "You like it?" "Yeah! What's different about it?" "Well enjoy it; because I doubt, I can reproduce it. All I did was throw a bunch of stuff I was given into some broth." "Wow. Who knew just throwing stuff into a pan would work so well?" Meanwhile, Scratch and Grounder, who happen to be in that junkyard at the right time by sheer coincidence are listening in on the conversation. Scratch says, "Sonic isn't well?" Grounder says "So that means he can't fight back. We should report this to Dr. Robotnik." So, Grounder takes out his phone and reports what they had just heard. Robotnik replies "So Sonic is severely sick, eh? He's vulnerable now and should be easy to capture. Even you bolts-for-brains should be able to capture him. That fox can't fight." Grounder replies, "Well actually your maliciousness—" Robotnik cuts him off "LESS TALKING MORE CAPTURING!" The yell freaks out the bots and they fall off the pile of trash they were standing on with a yell. In the room, Tails and Sonic hear the yell. Sonic says "That sounded like Robotnik. I've got to fight." He tries to get up, but Tails puts a firm hand on his shoulder and says, "Oh no you don't, you're gonna stay here and eat your chili." Sonic struggles and says "But…. I…. have….to…...fight! Let me go!" "I'm sorry Sonic, I can't do that. I hope you'll forgive me for what I'm about to do but It's for your own good." Tails takes out a remote and presses a large red button. The sheets on Sonic's bed suddenly move of their own accord. They tie his hands and feet, thus pinning him in place. He says, "What are you doing bro? Has Robotnik gotten to you?" "No Sonic, I assure you that I'm doing this of my own free will. But you're not okay. You need your rest. Now, it's my turn to protect you. And you're going to let me do that, because you don't have a choice." "What? Are you nuts?" "Sonic, I protected you once, and I can do it again." "Again? What are you talking about?" "I'll tell ya later. But right now, I gotta focus on not letting the dumb bots in here or die trying."(see the episode Tails in Charge to know what Tails means by "again.")

With his intent clear, Tails walked out of the room, leaving Sonic speechless. Outside the building, Scratch and Grounder are using their tiny little machine brains to come up with a plan. Scratch says "We have to do this carefully. That little fox totally trounced us last time. But this time, we're gonna get him AND Sonic." Grounder says "Yeah! Let's pummel that puny pipsqueak… so how are we gonna do that?" Scratch says "We'll hit him with this dart. He'll fall fast asleep like the little kid he is." Tails is standing on a nearby trash pile listening to their conversation. He says "Wow, a sleeping dart? That's all you can come up with? You guys are dumber than I thought." Scratch says "You won't be saying that once we take you back to Robotnik. Eat this!" Scratch fires the dart from a blowgun. Tails sees the slow-moving dart and says "I'm waaaiiittting." At the last moment, he moves his head to the side a few inches, letting the dart pass harmlessly beside him by inches. He says "Well you gave it your best shot, even though it was pathetic. My turn." Tails takes out a soda can. Grounder says "We're dumb? You're attacking us with soda. HAHAHA!" Tails inserts a tissue into the open can and lights a match. He lights the tissue and throws the can at the bots. Both of them says "Uh…Oh." Before the can explodes. (Hehe.. genius kid made his first Molotov. Isn't that cute?) Covered in soot, the two bots slowly stand up. Scratch says "HA! That all you got foxie?" "No. I got a lot more. Like that oil-soaked trash, you're standing on." Again, the bots say, "Uh Oh." Before the fire from the Molotov ignites the oil, making a huge explosion. (let's just all pretend that he set these traps up while he was building the cabin.) When they land….and put themselves out because they were on fire…. Tails asks, "Ya give up yet?" Scratch replies "NEVER!" "Alright then, you asked for it." Tails pulls out what appears to be a baseball. He takes a pitcher's throwing stance and chucks the ball as hard as he can at Scratch. The ball is actually quite sticky, this causes the ball to stick to Scratch. Now the ball starts beeping. Scratch starts to run around franticly and says, "Get it off of me!" Grounder grabs the ball but now it's stuck to him as well. The ball explodes into brown mist. Scratch and Grounder are standing there coughing as the smoke dissipates. Grounder says "Ha! Whatever that was didn't work." Tails replies "Yes it did." Rust starts to over Scratch and Grounder who both say, "We're rusting!" Tails says "I call that a rust maker. Oh, and I forgot to mention one little thing. That rust powder that is on you now is highly flammable." Tails light a match and throws it at the bots, who both burst into flames. They say, "we're melting!" as the really hot flames begin to melt them. (Yeah, yeah, Molotov fuel can't melt steel bots... or whatever. Shush.) Once both bots are a pool of molten metal, Tails walks over to them with a marshmallow on a stick which he starts to toast with the heat from the molten metal. He says "Ahhhh… there's nothing like a dessert to celebrate a victory especially if I can wag it in front of your faces. So, you guys give up yet?" "NEVER!" "Have it your way guys." Tails now holds an ice cube. He says "I got this from Dr. Vonshlemer (I think that's his name. I don't remember. And I have no bloody clue how to spell that.) So, this thing right here is an ice cube made of solid nitroginium. It freezes stuff on contact." Tails throws the cube into the pool of liquid metal, and it instantly freezes. Now that the bots are icicles, Tails takes a hammer and whacks the frozen badnicks. He says "You guys have been working SOOOO hard. I thought you could use a break." Scratch says "you little squirt! When I get my hands back together I-" Tails cuts him off by starting to pick up the pieces and days "Don't get mad Scratch, get Glad." After both bots are bagged, Tails sends them off for same day mail delivery to Robotnik's lair.

Once the bots are gone, Tails walks back into the house and says to Sonic "When the bots failed, they fell to pieces and went home." Sonic replies "Really? I never knew you could…" "Sonic, didn't I ask you to trust me?" "No, but I will anyway. But I just hate being cooped up in one place. It's so boring. There's nothing to do." "Well, the badniks will be back soon, I think. So, you can watch me take care of them violently and painfully." Tails runs out of the room and brings back a TV. Next, he sets up a camera on the outside of the building. Now, he turns back to Sonic and says "There you go. Now you can see all the pain I inflict on the dumb bots. Like I said "this is my turn to defend you. and you're gonna like it. Oh yeah, you wanted to know what I meant by "again". So, I'll tell you."

An hour later, Sonic says "Wow. I'm impressed." Tails replies "And that is why you're going to enjoy this." Soon after that sentence, a knock at the door followed by "Mobius mail service delivery to one Sonic the Hedgehog!" Tails opens the door, and receives a letter from the mailman. (I have no idea how that works. Eh, I guess if the courier in Skyrim can find you anywhere then mailmen are magic, thus this makes sense). Tails opens the letter and reads it. " Tails, I, the great and powerful Dr Robotnik will be taking your Sonic friend whether you like it or not. Hand him over or face my wrath. This is your 1 and only chance to surrender. Scratch and Grounder are waiting outside to take him." Tails says "I'll never give you up. I'll never let them take you." Sonic says "Maybe you should keed. There's no way you're gonna win this fight without help. Just give me up so you don't get hurt." "I can't do that Sonic." "Then at least let me help you." "I can't do that either. You're too sick to fight. Don't make me tie you up again. Now, I'm gonna go tell the badniks to scram and don't leave that bed or I'll never forgive you." With that, Tails walks out of the cabin. Just as the letter said, Scratch and Grounder are standing in the same spot where Tails had broken them an hour before. Scratch says, "Release the hedgehog to us!" Tails replies "You'll get him over my cold, dead body." "That can be arranged haha hahaaaa! This freezer beam will stop you cold." Scratch fires this ice laser at Tails. Tails thinks "Uh oh. That laser's gonna freeze me. Wait a minute…. Laser…mirror." Tails grabs a mirror that is in reach from a nearby trash pile. He places it between himself and the beam. The beam bounces off the mirror and freezes Scratch and Grounder instead of Tails. Tails says to them "Well guys, it looks like your show has just been put on ice." Next, he grabs the hammer again and whacks them with it, once again shattering the two stupid bots. Now Tails says, "I guess working for egghead IS all it's cracked up to be." The freezer beam, which had not shattered for some reason, is lying in the ground a few feet away. He picks it up and says "Hmmm…. I wonder if this thing can do snow as well. Let's see here…. Hail, ice, frost, snow. Ah it can snow." Grab a cone and chocolate snow cone flavoring. Now he uses the laser to fill the cone with snow. Finally, he adds the flavoring and licks his lips. He says "mmmmmm…. Snow cone. Haven't had a snow cone since well… winter. Thanks for the treat, guys." Tails walks back into the dwelling licking his snow cone. Sonic says "Whoa bro. That was some quick thinking. You're reminding me of me more and more every day." "I know, isn't it great. Now, I know those bots are going to be back. They're not going to give up that easily. But still, I wonder what they're gonna do next. Well, I guess we just gotta wait for it. Well…. I'm going to go prepare. I'll be back in a few." He walks out of the room again. From inside the room Sonic hears the sounds of drills and saws and hammers and stuff…. He asks himself, "What could that fox be up to that is making that much noise?"

4 hours later

Tails walks back into the dwelling. There is sweat dripping from his face, he is breathing hard, and his cheeks are red. He takes a glass of water from the counter (which is there for whatever reason even though it wasn't when the cabin was first built.) and gulps it down. He says "There. Let's see those dumb bots get in here now." Sonic says "I am wondering…. What exactly did you do for the past 4 hours." "I'll tell you after a short nap." He falls to the floor, exhausted. Sonic says "well…. I guess I gotta wait until he wakes up. Then again, some sleep sounds good. *yawns* yeah I'll follow Tails' example and sleep." So, they sleep for about an hour before a loud doorbell sounds. Tails bolts up and says, "THEY'RE HERE!" Sonic slowly gets up and asks, "Who's here?" "Scratch and Grounder are here." "So that's what that obnoxious doorbell is for." "Yeah, I installed tripwire 100 feet in every direction around the cabin. So, they tripped it. Now I'm ready for em' and they're in for a big surprise.

Meanwhile on the outside of the cabin, Scratch and Grounder are staring in awe at what Tails had built. A tall wall of stone now surrounded the cabin. On the outside of that was a smaller wall of sandbags. And on top of that, was barbed wire. Tails walks up to the top of the wall and says to them "So guys, ya like what I've done with the place? This took me so long to do BY MYSELF I might add. So, you can have fun trying to get in here. I will thoroughly enjoy thwarting your pathetic attempts." Scratch shouts up to him "Oh yeah? Let's see ya say that when we get up there, pipsqueak." "You're not going to get up here." "And why's that?" "Cause of this." Tails presses a button on his remote (the same one that controls the bed controls the defenses as well.) and the wall opens up to eject a HUGE log. Both bots yell in terror and begin to run away. But the log catches them anyway and they get flattened. Tails says, "You guys keep failing over and over again, you're on a roll, or at least a roll is on you." Scratch says, "We're not done yet!" The flattened bots pop back up. Grounder uses a catapult function he has built into his hand to throw Scratch at the wall. Tails grabs a metal bat and says, "And he's at home plate ready to bat." He whacks Scratch away and says "He's done it! Tails hits it out of the park! Home run! Now run home idiots." Grounder says, "no way!" He retracts the catapult and instead deploys a cannon from his arm. Tails is ready for this however and grabs a solid titanium tennis racket. He says, "Return to sender!" and returns the cannon ball which detonates on Grounder, blowing him to pieces. Grounder says "ouch." Soon after, Scratch bags up the broken Grounder and carries him off while saying "We'll be back!" Tails replies "Feel free to keep trying. But you'll just keep losing."

Back at Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik is furious at his S.S.S.S.S. squad. "YOU NINCOMBOTS! IDIOTS! RETARDS! HOW? YOU GOT BEATEN BY A 4-YEAR-OLD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DON'T ANSER THAT! EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Robotnik puts his hand on his head and turns around. He says to himself "Why is it so hard to build good help these days? Why world? WHY?" He turns back to Scratch and Grounder and says "I am giving you idiots ONE last chance. Capture them or I'll go do it myself and you'll be on toilet duty with Coconuts for the rest of your miserable careers." Scratch says "Y-y-y-yes your evilness." Grounder says, "Yeah we'll get him without fail." "Oh, you'd better not fail me. Now…...how to best separated Sonic from that pesky brat. Hmmm… I think I have a way you can get right past him." Robotnik walks into his lab and rummages through a pile of stuff. After a few minutes, he retrieves two black body suits. He says "Put these on, they'll make you invisible. That fox won't know what hit him."

Back at the cabin, Sonic is saying to Tails "Listen Tails, I appreciate what you're doing for me, but I can take care of myself you know." He tries to get up again. This time he succeeds. However, he only manages to take a few steps before falling over. Tails catches him before he hits the floor and helps him back into bed. Tails says "Take care of yourself huh? You can't even stand." "Then maybe I should go see an actual doctor?" "Normally, I would agree with that. But right now, I do not. If you were to go see an actual doctor, you and all of those around you would be in danger. If you stay here and sweat this out, then it's only you and me in danger. Besides, can't you let me prove myself every now and again?" "You don't have to prove yourself to me. I know what you're capable of. You're my best friend. And you've learned a lot while sticking by me. But I still think this is a bad idea." The air starts to shimmer behind Tails in the shape of two mobian sized figures. (I am trying, albeit pathetically, to describe invisibility. Think of Halo active camouflage) Seeing this, Sonic realizes something isn't right and calls out, "TAILS LOOK BEHIND YOU!" Tails whirls around and says, "I don't see anything Sonic." Sonic throws the spoon he is still holding at the place where the bots are standing. It hits Grounder in the nose, and he says "Ouch! Watch where you're throwing that." Scratch says, "Quiet you! They're gonna know we're here." Tails says "Too late for that." Tails grabs a bowl of the soup and throws it at the bots' location. The soup impacts them, making them visible…sort of. Now he says, "I see you dummies." Grounder says, "No you don't we're invisible." "So, if I can't see you, then I guess I wouldn't be able to do this!" he presses another button on his multifunctional remote. A set of short metal sticks issues from the remote. Then a charge runs through them. now Tails stabs Scratch with the remote, tazing him. Grounder says "Yeah, you wouldn't be able to do that." Scratch says, "um Grounder?" Tails continues "I also wouldn't be able to do this." Now Tails walks over to the pot of soup and throws in a full can of chili paste along with 5 minced ghost chili peppers. (The hottest pepper in the world at the time of writing anyway... by now they've probably invented a pepper strong enough that you could actually use it as a real weapon. But I read that the ghost-pepper contains such a high concentration of capsaicin, that if you touch the inside with your bare hand, your skin will get irritated. This doesn't apply to mobians because... idk... fur? Fantasy world logic? Because the plot says so? Take your pick.) Now that the soup is hotter than any normal person could tolerate, Tails carries the bowl over to Scratch and opens his mouth. Next, he pours one ladle full of the soup into his mouth and slams it shut. After about 3 seconds, Scratch says "OW OW OW! MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! Grounder grabs a glass of water (from nowhere of course.) and dumps it down Scratch's throat. There is a visible release of steam and Scratch says "aaahhhhhh." Grounder says "Yeah, you wouldn't be able to do that." Tails says, "And I DEFINITELY wouldn't be able to do this." Tails applies some lipstick to his lips and kisses Grounder's nose. "Both of them say "eewwww." Now Tails says "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, that lipstick, while non-toxic to us, is a chemical that dissolves metal on contact. Love hurts, doesn't it?" Grounder is then reduced to a puddle for the second time that day. Seeing that Tails clearly knew where he was, Scratch deactivated his cloaking device. Grounder's had already melted along with him.

Tails says, "Now for you Scratch." Tails soaks his glove in the spiked chili soup. Next, he grabs Scratch's tongue. Scratch starts to protest but can't talk due to Tails holding his tongue. Tails says "What's the matter Scratch? Fox got your tongue?" After that, Tails ties Scratch's tongue in a knot. Tails now says "I still know you're trying to tell me something, but you look a bit tongue tied." In a few minutes, Scratch somehow unties his tongue. But before he can speak, Tails takes a welding flame and melts his mouth closed saying "Shut your mouth. I don't want to hear your fowl words. You know what? Since you can't talk, you should just go home. Here, let me help you." Tails pushes Scratch out the door and uses a huge turkey baster to deposit Grounder into a vial. Next, he presses another button on the remote. This one activates a springboard which catapults Scratch and Grounder back to Robotnik. Tails says, "Thank you for flying Tails Air. We hope to see you again soon." Sonic says "Wow. You're good, I must admit. Seriously, you're destroying them." Tails says "Thanks. That means a lot coming from you. But you, you're a lot better than I can ever be. And as soon as you're better, you can take over. This is sort of tiring. But even if it's tiring; fighting them is a bit dull because they are so dumb." "I know what you mean. These dumb bots are so bad at capturing us. They couldn't capture a mouse already in a mousetrap." Robotnik, who had somehow gotten there THAT fast, says "That's why I'm doing this personally." A mechanical hand breaks through the wall and grabs Sonic. Tails jumps up and tries to grab Sonic but misses by and inch and face plants on the ground. Robotnik says "You lose, fox boy. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" and flies away. Tails yells "SONIC! NO!" I can't believe I lost him. No." he starts to cry, grieving over the loss of his best friend. After a few minutes of this, he wipes away the tears and says to himself "Why cry over this. Crying won't solve anything. I've got to get him back. I'll go get him back from Robotnik. When he took Sonic away, he crossed the wrong fox. And he's gonna pay big time.

Within his fortress, Robotnik is gloating. "I've finally done it. I've finally captured Sonic. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! It's my birthday! Go me! Go me! Ok enough of that. Now… what shall I do to you?" Sonic says "well…. Nothing sounds nice." "Wrong answer. What I'm going to do to you is tie you to a chair. And... well actually I haven't thought that far ahead." Robotnik starts looking around before coming back with a DVD. He says "Ah, I made some videos of myself dancing. You're not only going to watch them, but you're also going to give them a positive review on the internet when I post them!" "Uh oh." Robotnik secures Sonic to a chair and wheels a tv in front of him. Next, he inserts a DVD which starts showing Robotnik doing various dances. Such as the robot, the Macarena, and a waltz with a dance robot. (there's an episode of Sonic Shorts where watching Robotnik dance while tied to a chair causes Sonic actual PHYSICAL pain and also real injuries. I recommend watching the whole series. Though... it is not as child friendly as this story.) Sonic says "NOOO! IT'S HORRIBLE! MAKE IT STOP!" "Um no. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUFFER MY ENEMY, SUFFER!" Now, back to Tails. Tails is staring at Robotnik's fortress. Robotnik had apparently anticipated this rescue and had prepared for it. Around the main building is a metal fence with barbed wire. On the four corners of the fence are guard towers with armed guards on them. The entrance to the wall is also guarded. Tails says "This isn't gonna be easy. Robotnik's done some remodeling. He must've anticipated me trying this crazy plan. So, I'm gonna need some really good gear to pull this off. Well then, no time to waste, let's get building.

2 hours later

Tails now stands on a large hill relatively close to the fortress, though out of sight of the bots. He says, "First for the tower guards." Tails aims his first weapon at the right tower closest to his direction of entry. This weapon is a nerf gun with some special modifications; such as a longer barrel, a scope, higher magazine capacity, oh... and explosive ammunition. The head of the robot in the tower is within his sights, he lines up the target and fires. A nerf dart hits the robot right between the eyes. Said robot stands there confused for a moment before the dart beeps a few times then explodes in a fireball just large enough to destroy the robot. Tails says, "one down, 1 to go." Now he takes aim at the left tower and takes the bot out on top of that one as well. Next, he drops the gun as it is no longer useful to him. After that, he walks closer to the base. Now he is hiding behind a bush. Out of his backpack (which holds all of his cool new toys) he takes a small toy car and a controller. But on this car is a homemade explosive. Tails says, "This ought to be enough to blow them and the gate to pieces." He turns on the car and drives it up to the gate. One of the bots on guard there looks at the car and picks it up. A few seconds later, Tails activates the charge, and the car explodes, destroying the bots, the gate, and two more bots on the other side of it. Tails says "Oh yeah! So far so good, but now he probably knows he's under attack so I gotta be careful."

Meanwhile within the fortress Robotnik is indeed becoming aware of Tails' presence. He says "So, it's the little fox boy coming to save his best friend. I expected this. But I am more than prepared. He doesn't stand a chance." Grounder comes into the room and says, "The intruder has broken through checkpoint B your evilness." "Grrr… no matter, there's no way he'll get through all the traps that I've set up. Not to mention my legions of guards." Anyways, back to Tails. Tails has now reached the door that leads into the main building. There is a computer panel next to said door. Tails takes out a laptop and connects the laptop to the computer panel on the door before starting to rapidly type. In a few minutes, the door beeps twice and opens. Tails walks in cautiously. It's dark insde. Robotnikmust have turned out the lights to slow him down. He puts on a pair of night vision goggles and continues walking. Suddenly 5 robots drop down from the ceiling causing Tails to jump back and say "AHHH!" Then he whips out another weapon. This one is a portable radio device meant to send out a large amount of electromagnetic waves. These would overload the robots' sensory equipment and cause them to shut down. He throws the device. A few seconds later, the robots say in unison "sensory overload, cannot compute. Error. Error. Shutting dooowwwwnnnn…" all of them fall to the floor at Tails' feet. He says "That worked better than I expected. Now, to continue on."

With the help of the night vision goggles, Tails finds his way to the next door on the way to the control room, following a map he had memorized from hacking into Robotnik's system before even showing up to the lair. In this next room, there is light, so Tails takes off the glasses. This is a small room with 2 bots guarding a set of double doors on the other side of it. Upon seeing Tails, one shouts "INTUDER ALLERT! ENGAGE TARGET!" Both bots leap at Tails. Using his tails to speed himself up, Tails charges through the oncoming bots, going right under them while leaving an explosive behind him. He continues running past them and says, "See ya later slowmo's." There is an elevator behind the doors. Tails walks into it and presses the button for the top floor. As the doors close, there is a BANG, signaling the end of 2 more of Robotnik's henchbots. Robotnik's voice comes over the loudspeaker "He's in the main elevator! Apprehend that aggravating attacker!" Tails says "Wow, that was fast. I was hoping for at least a few more minutes of being undetected." The elevator stops at the next floor. As the door is about to open, Tails says "Uh oh, they're probably looking for me. Well, I wonder if this will work." Tails hovers over the door. 2 bots look into the elevator. One says "Wait what? The supreme leader said he was here. How did he disappear like that?" The other says "Oh well, we did our jobs and looked for him. Come on, let's go." They walk out and the doors close. Tails says "Whew." And wipes some sweat off his forehead. The door closes and the elevator continues its upward motion. But a few seconds later, the elevator stops 2 floors up. Tails says "YIKES!" he again hovers at the ceiling. This time, 5 bots entered the elevator. They are having a random, boring conversation about boring robot stuff. But Tails is too busy holding his breath. He is barely escaping detection. If they found him in this enclosed space, he would be captured and the last hope of Mobius' freedom from Robotnik's tyranny would be forever lost.

The elevator reaches the next floor and the group leaves. Right as the doors are about to close, Robotnik's voice comes over the loudspeaker "The fox is still in the elevator! I'm shutting it down. CAPTURE HIM!" Tails throws down a smoke screen dispersal device and dashes past the squad of bots before they can process what's happening. He says says "Looks like I'm taking the stairs from now on. But according to the schematics, those are on the other side of the fortress at least I've only got one floor to go. (Wow isn't that unlucky and most inconvenient, and coincidental.) Well then, I guess I've got a bit of a run ahead of me." Tails is interrupted from his thoughts by two bots running towards him. Without missing a beat, he takes out his final, most devastating weapon. Out of his bag he pulls a shotgun…..fitted with plungers. Before they even knew what was happening, both bots had taken plungers to the face and had been knocked to the floor. Tails pumps the shotgun, and another plunger magically appears in the barrel ready to shoot. (But why though? There's no shell casing to eject. Shush. Cartoon logic says so.) A few more bots come through a nearby doorway. One shoots a badly aimed laser at Tails and misses him completely. The laser does, however, hit an, all too conveniently placed, mirror next to Tails, sending the laser back at the bot, destroying it. The other 2 run at Tails but their fates match those of the 2 before them. The coast was clear, for now. Tails runs through the open door and is sees a squad of 10 robots heading for the elevator. He quickly ducks into a nearby room. When the footsteps fade, Tails moves slowly from the room. The area outside is clear. He continues on. Behind him, he hears yelling, and hides in another room just before the same group of bots comes charging back, furious at their lack of a prisoner. Once their footsteps fade again, Tails moves from his hiding spot. He says "Those bots are probably going to report to Robotnik. When they do, he'll know I'm still not well…captured. The number of bots looking for me will go up. I've got to find Sonic and get out of here fast. But I don't even know where he is. Well, I guess I gotta follow those bots to Robotnik. Then I can force him to tell me where Sonic is.

Meanwhile, in the command center of the fortress, Robotnik is staring at his most vile weapon yet. Sonic is watching on a view screen. Robotnik says "Behold my agile adversary, my new weapon. This is a cannon designed to turn its targets into EGGS! I call it, The Eggenator 5000! With it, I'll turn the inhabitants of a few cities into eggs, then the rest of Mobius will surrender to me, and I will be the supreme ruler of Mobius. And in your condition, there's nothing you can do to stop me. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic says "You'll never get away with this. Someone will stop you! Maybe it won't be me, but someone will definitely stop you!" "And who might that be? Your little fox friend? At this very moment, he is being captured by my army." A robot comes into the room and says "Sir, the intruder has passed security level 7" "Security level 7? There's no security level 7." Tails jumps out of the robot and says "Exactly. I just said that to get you off guard." He points the weapon at Robotnik. Robotnik backs away and says "Now Tails, let's not be hasty. Put the gun down and we can have a nice talk." "Release Sonic NOW!" Scratch and Grounder tackle Tails from behind. The gun goes flying from his hands. Robotnik says "ah how the tables have turned. Now you are in my power. You have lost. Scratch and Grounder take him to a cell in the fortress dungeon. Make it so he never sees light again!" Both of them say "Yes your badness sire." Tails are dragged away and put into a cell. Scratch locks him in, then the two of them walk away. Robotnik says "With those two out of the way, there's nothing that can stop the Eggenator 5000 from giving me the planet. I won; I HAVE FINALLY WON!"

Back at the cell, Tails is thinking "Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe Sonic was right to keep me from doing this kind of stuff. I can't even save my best friend from Robotnik, let alone the rest of the planet. I wish I was like Sonic; he never loses like this. But I'm just not as good as he is, I'll never be. I'm useless."

(In case it wasn't clear in the last few paragraphs, Tails went through a massive, adrenaline-induced maturity growth spurt, hence why he has turned into a small fluffy Rambo. Personally, I thought that he had gotten a little too mature. His weapons deviated from the cartoon violence of the rest of the show. So, I reigned myself in a bit. Now, it's back to the cartoon violence that makes up this story.)

Sonic, who is miraculously in the next cell over, hears this self-pity. He says, "What are you talking about bro? You are far from useless." "How so? I couldn't break you out of here. And face it, I'm just a cowardly slow-mo who always hides behind you all the time. You're the plan guy, the fighting guy, and the do stuff guy. I'm just dead weight." "Why do you think that you're useless? You didn't hide behind me while I was frozen and you didn't hide behind me now. Today, you took charge and defended me against all odds. You did a great job of it. Even though he got me in the end, you didn't give up. You broke into Robotnik's fortress. You got here." "But I lost. I'm now in the same predicament. We're done for and so is the rest of Mobius." "Not true. You're the smartest kid I know. And despite what you may think at the moment, there's no one else I would rather have by my side. Also, I bet you have a way to get us out of here." Tails stop moping for a second and smiles. He says "Thanks Sonic. I needed to hear that. And in fact, I do have a way out of here."

Tails reaches into his right sock and pulls out a lock pick. A few minutes later, the locks to both cells are open. Sonic asks "Where did you learn to do that Tails?" Tails holds out a book titled Lock Picking for Dummies. "This book taught me how. I just followed the steps. It's amazing what you can find in books." "Yeah but, I hope you don't plan on using this anywhere else. I don't feel comfortable with you being able to break and enter anywhere you want." "Ok Sonic. Now, we need to get out of here." Tails look around. He sees his gun and grabs it. He also spies his backpack next to it. He grabs that as well and puts it on. Next, he puts his left arm around Sonic to hold him up. He is now holding his gun with one hand. Tails says "ok, let's get you out of here." They slowly walk towards the first set of stairs. A sign above the stairs says, "Floor level: basement dungeon". Suddenly 2 robots come charging from behind. Tails aims at the gun and fires, taking out the first bot. Then braces the gun against his chest to pump it one handed. After that, he takes out the other bot. With the way once again clear, Tails helps Sonic to struggle up a long flight of stairs.

At the top of the stairs is a long hallway with 2 doors. Tails says, "Which way do you think we should go Sonic?" "Right." So, they take the right passage. After 5 minutes of walking, they come to a door labeled "Room of (un) pleasantries." Tails opens the door. He is not prepared for what's behind it. A large room full of torture devices. Robotnik brand karaoke, poison ivy pollen sprayer, automatic wedgie giver, tickle machine. You name it, he has it in this room. Tails says "This is horrible. How anyone could be THAT sick and twisted is beyond me. I can't stand to look at this. So, I'll get rid of it. That ought to ruin his day." Tails reaches into his backpack and takes out another soda can. He lights the cloth sticking out of it and throws it in the room. There is a small explosion when the can hits the ground and fire is spread everywhere. With the room now burning, Sonic and Tails take their leave.

This time, they take the left passage. This passage is longer than the other one and it takes a good 3 minutes of walking before they get to the end of it. But they are not alone in this passage. At the end of it, they find Scratch and Grounder. Scratch says "You're not going anywhere. We're going to take you AND your fox friend and put you back in your cells." Tails says "Not a chance. I'm taking Sonic out of here. You can't stop me." "Oh yeah? What are you gonna do kid?" "This." He takes out of his backpack what looks like a gumball. Sonic says, "Hey Tails I don't think this is the best time for a snack." Tails replies "Hey I'm not snacking. Just watch." He throws the gumball at the two bots. As soon as it hits the floor, it explodes, sending gum everywhere. The bots are now caught in a very sticky situation. Tails says "I guess you'll just have to stick around guys. Bye now." The two continue to the door as Scratch and Grounder furiously try to break out of the gum. But the bots don't succeed, and their prey simply walks away from them. Beyond that door, is another hallway. Though this one is short. At the end of it, is a door marked "exit". Tails says "yes! Finally, we found an exit. Now we can get out of here." Suddenly, out of the door on the far end comes a squad of 10 robots. Sonic says "Badnicks at 12 o'clock." Tails says, "I'm on it." This time, he takes ouy another, larger, gumball and throws it, causing a larger sticky explosion." He turns to the robots and says "Yeah, you guys can just stay there. You're not getting out of that. So, I bid you farewell."

After that, he and Sonic walk to the exit. Now they are outside, right in front of the gate Tails had blown up a short while ago. Beyond that gate lies freedom. But Robotnik isn't going to make it that easy for them. 8 more robots come running towards them. They surround the 2 freedom fighters. Sonic says "We're surrounded. There's no way we're going to get out of this. Tails just fly out of here. Leave me." Tails says "Not a chance. I've worked too hard to get you out of here. I'm not giving up, and I'm NOT going to let you give up either!" Robotnik comes flying on his hovercraft. He says "Now you lose. There's no way that you're getting out of here now. face it fox, there was no way you could have won in the first place. Now be a good kid and surrender." Tails says "NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" then he says to Sonic "I still have one more trick up my sleeve." He pulls out another smoke screen maker and throws it at his feet. When it hits the ground, it releases a HUGE smoke cloud, obscuring the vision of everyone. Tails says "Behold, I'm a ninja! Ok, let's go Sonic while they're still distracted." Through memory, Tails guides both of them out of the cloud and out the blown gate. Tails says "Freedom at last. But there's one more thing I have to do. But first I have to get you to a safe place." Tails takes Sonic to a small clearing hidden by bushes. He leans Sonic against a tree and says, "Stay here so I can find you later." Sonic says "What are you going to do?" "I'm going to go stop that egg weapon." "Alone? There's no way I can let you do that." "Sonic, you HAVE to let me do this. Who else is going to go in there and stop that weapon? Are you in any shape to stop that weapon or even to stop me from stopping that weapon? I hate to phrase it like this but you can't stop me from doing this. I'm going. I'll be back soon."

Tails once again infiltrates Robotnik's lair. Once there, he carefully hides himself. At the moment, he doesn't have the opportunity to strike. So, he waits until Robotnik is focused on entering coordinates into the computer connected to his cannon. After he presses a few keys, a robot comes onto the comm screen. It says "Doctor, there is a matter that requires your attention." "WHAT COULD POSSIBLY REQUIRE MY ATTENTION?!" "A terminal near the front door has been hacked. This has prevented it from closing." "Oh alright, I'm coming." He mutters "These bots can't do anything by themselves." Once Robotnik leaves the room, Tails says "now's my chance." He leaps from his hiding spot and takes out the lipstick. He starts running the lipstick all over the machine. In a few seconds, it starts to bubble. Soon, the machine melted into a puddle. A few minutes later, Robotnik walks into the room "Seriously, all these idiots can't do anything right." He looks at the room and does a double take. He says "My machine! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EGGANATOR 5000?!" Tails reveals himself again and says "I happened to it. Now, it can't do anything bad to anyone. So, remind me again Robotnik, who lost this fight? Because it sure wasn't me." "GRRRR! I'LL GET YOU!" He runs towards Tails. But Tails reacts too fast. He pulls out a white gumball and throws it at Robotnik. This one explodes into a large quantity of shaving cream. Tails says to him as he struggles "Well Doctor, it looks like you've been creamed; and now, I've got a phone call to make. So, I'll be using your phone. Don't bother trying to stop me. You won't get out of there for a long time." So, Tails picks up the phone and dials the Mobius insane asylum. "Hello? Mobius insane asylum, we take crazies." Tails replies "Hi, this is Tails Prower, brother of Sonic the Hedgehog. I have a small favor to ask you." "Ok, what is it?" "Robotnik is looking for a reunion with his dear mother. Do you think you could pick him up and take him there in about 30 minutes?" "Sure, why not? We'll be there in 30." "Thanks." Tails hangs up the phone. He says "Ok, now I've gotta work fast.

Over the next 25 minutes, he splices a bunch of videos. First, he takes the video feed from his camera back at the cabin. Next, he uses all the video feed from Robotnik's cameras to make a cohesive whole that shows every minute of him defeating Robotnik's every attempt to capture him. Once he is satisfied that it looks good, he puts it all on a CD and puts that in its own case. A few minutes after that, the people from the asylum come to pick up Robotnik. Tails hands one of them the disc and says "This disc is a present from Robotnik to his mother. Be sure to get it to her." "Will do." The truck that the asylum people came in speeds off towards it. With that done, Tails returns to Sonic and hugs him. He says "Thank you for trusting me bro. Now, you've gotta get better. And with Robotnik temporarily occupied, we can get you to a real doctor."

Meanwhile, in the Mobius Insane Asylum Robotnik says, "Now wait just a minute I can explain." "EXPLAIN THIS!" She hits him with her purse. "AND THIS!" She hits him again with her purse. "WHAT KIND OF SUPER VILLAIN ARE YOU?!" Another purse smack for Robotnik. "WHAT A DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY! YOU CAN'T EVEN BEAT ONE CHILD!" A fourth smack for the bad doctor. "I'M EMBARRESED TO BE RELATED TO YOU!" Robotnik says, "I HATE THAT FOX BOY!" Before the whacking continues. uninterrupted.

The end.