Welcome to book 2 in the Maer Chronicles. If you have not already read book 1, Out of Mirkwood, I would advise reading it first or you might be confused.
In Times of Trouble
Scribbles-on-Parchment
March 20, 2021
Chapter 1 – What if…
Legolas's eyes shot open only to be greeted by near-absolute blackness. He bolted upright in his bed frantically fighting to free himself from the silk sheets that had become tangled around his slim frame. As the soft fabric fell away from around him the elfling's thrashing came to a sudden halt as he scanned the familiar room around him for any sign of a threat.
The prince's chest was still heaving as he, at last, began to get his bearings and calm his emotions. The panicked look soon faded from his eyes, yet a dark shadow still lingered on in their azure depths. Already the memories and emotions of the dream he had just awoken from were fading as quickly as had come leaving the young ellon feeling exhausted.
Letting out a soft groan, Legolas buried his face into his hands. What in Eru's name was happening to him?
Never before had he ever felt this alone, this tired, this … this drained.
Every day that passed seemed to drag on for an eternity, a never-ending hell of people, questions, and tasks; and every night as the sun fell low, the sky darkened, and the stars came out in all of their glory his misery did not end.
At the times when his restless body and mind would allow him to drift off to sleep, it was seldom pleasant or restful. Horrid dreams and visions would flood his mind and cause him to wake up in a sheen of sweat just a few hours later. Yet he could never remember what the dreams were about, for as soon as his eyes opened to the world of the living their memory would fade away leaving only a feeling of great fear and distress in their place.
The young Sinda let out a deep sigh as he tried to gather up the willpower to move. He knew that no more rest would find him this night and he had no desire to remain in his room staring listlessly at the gray walls for hours on end. He needed to get some clean air; he needed to get out of the palace.
Ever since his apparently miraculous 'rescue' from the Noldor almost five years ago, Legolas had been able to find little rest or comfort in the cold, stone walls of his adar's palace. They now felt as if they were slowly suffocating him, choking the life out of his body little by little like a noose tightening around his neck. He had not even been allowed past the front gates since that fateful day; his adar having forbidden it at the mere thought of losing his youngest son again.
And so, the elfling had spent the past several years growing more and more agitated at anything and everything around him. He knew it too. However, Legolas was much too upset to care. He was not meant to be locked up like some precious gem, perceived as too important and fragile to be let out. He wanted to be free, to explore the Greenwood and the lands beyond. He wanted to see Estel and his brothers again. He wanted…
Legolas shook his head. This was all simply wishful thinking on his part. A daydream that held no more power over his future than he did. He was trapped in his own house with no way to escape. That was what scared him the most. The thought of having no way out and no way to change his circumstances was almost enough to drive him mad.
Why did I ever want so desperately to be back here?
Êmand was extremely worried. Even as he walked quickly down the halls in the royal wing towards Legolas's chambers he feared for its occupant. He knew that the young prince was having nightmares and he knew that he was not getting nearly as much rest as he needed. Yet there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing at all.
Legolas had been returned to them whole and well but changed somehow. The bright and happy elfling that had left the palace was gone, replaced instead by a troubled and frustrated young ellon. He seemed to have aged a hundred years in just a week's time, and everyone had noticed.
Kélion had spoken to him many times about his thoughts and concerns about his younger brother and so too had many others in the palace; yet every time the Silvan would bring these concerns up with his charge, the princeling would simply brush them away, and offer little insight into his thoughts. In fact, no one, not even the crown prince himself could get the young elf to speak of what had happened to him or of what he was feeling in his heart and mind.
Legolas had all but closed himself off to the outside world, and so solid were the walls that he had constructed around himself that Êmand did not know if the ellon would ever be able to take them down again. If he continued to section himself off and hide his true thoughts and emotions then it could only be a matter of months before the elfling destroyed himself from the inside. No eldar was ever meant to live in darkness and isolation, even that which they had constructed in their own hearts.
Legolas was slowly but surely killing himself and Êmand had no idea why.
The Silvan mentor nodded to the two royal guards who stood watch at the door which led into the prince's private chambers. The two ellyn bowed their heads in acknowledgment and quickly moved to the side to let him have access to the ornate wooden door. Taking a deep breath, Êmand turned the handle and slipped inside, before shutting the door softly behind him.
The eldar had known even before he ever turned and set eyes on the prince's empty bed that the elfling would not be anywhere in his room as he should be. For lately Legolas had taken to using his window as an escape route to the palace gardens when he did not wish to be stopped or questioned by the guards outside his door. Nonetheless, Êmand could not help but groan inwardly as he bore witness to the open window and cold, empty bed.
While it would not be hard to find the young prince, it was the fact that he even had to do so at all that frustrated him. If only the blasted Sinda would stay put for at least one night then he would not have to continually be searching and asking for him.
Striding across the room to the open window, Êmand glanced out into the large and immaculately kept garden feeling the faint morning breeze on his face as it swept across the forest. The sun had just come above the horizon and the air was full of birds singing as the rays of sunlight began to warm the cool night air.
And there sitting in the large oak that stood tall right outside of his window was the prince.
Legolas did not even register that the sun had at long last risen above the horizon signaling the start to an awful routine, though to him it felt as though the day had already been going on for hours.
He had no doubt that all too soon Êmand would come looking for him again. While he knew that he should return back to his room lest he be forced to face the wrath of his mentor once more, he could not bring himself to do so. Out here in the garden, he felt more alive and less suffocated than back inside the mountain. Out here he felt that he could think more clearly about his troubles, of which he had far too many.
There was nothing he wanted more than to talk to Êmand or even Kélion and spill out his heart to them, but something was holding him back. It was the same thing that had been holding him back from doing so ever since his return. Fear.
Would either of them be able to forgive him for hiding these things from them? Would they be able to see and understand why he had done what he had done?
While deep in his heart Legolas knew they would forgive him even if they were angry with him at first. However, some part of him cast such great doubt into his mind that every time he tried to speak with his mentor he felt his throat close up and his mind go blank.
What if they could not sympathize with him and instead cast shame and hate on him? What if they then began to think badly of him? What if they… what if they… what if they…
This voice in the back of his head fed him these lies by day and taunted him with these thoughts in his dreams by night, and for some reason, Legolas himself did not even understand he believed them.
That was why he had not told anyone of the barrier. Why he had not told anyone of the almost constant drain of energy it was taking from him or of the pain he suffered as a result? Instead, he had chosen to slowly let it destroy him from the inside, for he feared had had come too far to change it. If he told Êmand now then he knew the news would soon get to his brother who would be both distraught and angry with him.
Legolas knew Kélion and had realized that the ellon would then try to find a way for him to transfer control of the barrier over to him instead. Yet the elfling had seen what it had done to his brother before and he was not going to let that happen again. And his adar… his adar had lost even the willpower to care for his own kingdom and lacked the strength that he needed to keep the barrier intact. It had to be him and he would not complain but would bear it like the warrior he desperately wanted to be.
If it killed him then so be it…
"Penneth."
Êmand frowned as the young Sinda did not even look up or acknowledge his presence in any way.
"Penneth, you need to come with me before your adar or brother finds you missing. You do not want to incur the anger of either of them for they have enough to worry about as it is."
Still, no response came from the forlorn-looking figure sitting on the branch in front of him. The Silvan took a deep breath to slow the heated rise of his frustration in his body.
"Legolas come with me. You have been out here long enough," the older ellon waited for a moment as he felt himself gradually beginning to lose control of his emotions, "Prince Legolas you will look at me and obey my orders when I ask something of you!"
His last words came out much harsher than he had intended but he could not bring himself to feel the least bit concerned about that at the moment. Êmand crossed his arms and glared as the golden head turned towards him.
The elfling's face betrayed no emotion as he laid eyes on his mentor, "Yes? What is it that you want?"
The Silvan was about to angrily repeat himself when he noticed the ominous dark rings under the normally bright azure eyes and the pale, almost sickly-looking complexion of his charge.
"I said that you need to tell me exactly what is going on before I let you back into your room."
"No, that is not what you said before."
"Well then it is what I am saying now," Êmand's dark eyes flashed dangerously, "You will not leave this tree until you tell me everything."
"Or what?"
The Silvan's eyes widened slightly at the retort. Legolas had seldom spoken back to him or challenged him so openly before.
"Or I will make you tell me what has been troubling your mind so."
At this, the elfling turned his head quickly away again so he was once more looking back out over the garden,
"Then you can do your worst for I do not feel ready to speak of such things right now."
"Then when will you be ready? Both Kélion and I have waited patiently for you to be 'ready' for years now. What do you hide in your heart that is so great that you feel you would rather let it kill you than tell us of it? What holds that much power over you that you would risk your very life for it?"
Legolas just shook his head almost sadly. If Êmand had been able to see his charge's eye at that moment he would have seen the battle being fought beneath his blue eyes and the shimmer of tears that threatened to fall.
"Penneth, what cause have I ever given you that you feel you cannot trust me? What have I done? Tell me!"
Êmand could not help but let some of the desperation he was feeling come through in his voice as he said this. He could not lose the elfling, not again, and not like this.
"I cannot tell you."
"But why?" the Silvan wished he could force Legolas to tell him what was weighing so heavily on his young heart, "Why can you not tell me? Have you been forced to do something? Are you under an oath? Was it the Noldor?"
"No!" the young prince spun around at this last question tears glistening in his eyes, "It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. Just leave them out of it for you know nothing of this!"
"Then tell me so I can help you," The distress was clear as day in the young prince's eyes and was cutting at Êmand's heart, "I cannot help you unless I know what is wrong. You do not have the power to deal with this on your own."
Legolas's eyes darkened, "If I had wanted your help do you not think I would have already asked for it?"
"No. You are as stubborn as you adar. You will not ask for help even if you know it is the right thing to do. Your pride will be the end of you Legolas and I do not want to sit back and watch as it destroys you."
Both ellyn glared at one another for a long moment, neither one speaking, and neither one willing to back down from the fight.
Elvish Translations:
adar – father
penneth – young one
