SLACKERS
EPISODE XXIII
SINS OF THE FATHER
CHAPTER ELEVEN - MIHALIS'S DILEMMA
At the bar, Mihalis and Wario were spending the day serving drinks to thirsty patrons, partaking in their usual deep, philosophical conversations.
"You know what I really hate? Picture frames that use two hooks for hanging," said Mihalis.
"Where... how do you come up with so many things you don't like?" asked Wario.
"Things find a way, I guess."
"What's your problem with picture frames?"
"I mean, if there's one hook, no big deal. It's easier to eyeball where you're gonna hang it, and it doesn't matter if it's crooked, it pivots on the hook. If you have two hooks, then you have to measure a lot more precisely where you're going to put your nails, and if you're off by even just a millimeter, then the hooks will be too close or too far from each other, or it'll be a little crooked, and you have to start all over. Especially when you've already made the hole in the wall, and if you try to move the nail, it'll be so close it'll just fall right back into that hole. It's so friggin' exhausting," said Mihalis Dualwielder.
Wario just looked at him with an eyebrow raised.
"You really need a hobby, you know that?"
Mihalis just went back to polishing beer glasses. His gaze turned to the front door as it opened, and his favorite customer made his way inside.
"Evening, everybody," he said.
"Knux!" shouted everyone in the building.
"What's new, Mr. Echidna?" asked Wario.
"A day where nothing explodes or catches on fire," replied Knuckles. He took a seat at his regular bar stool, and Mihalis poured him the only thing he ever drank: a glass of Cabernet.
"Here you go," said the bartender.
"Thanks," replied the customer as he took a huge gulp. "What'd I miss?"
"Another Mike rant," said Wario.
"Oh? What was it this time?"
"Picture frame hooks."
"... I beg your pardon?"
"Sheesh. Forget I said anything," said Mihalis.
Probably the most consistent thing in their lives was this scene right here: Mihalis and Wario both working at the bar they jointly owned, while Knuckles sat across the bar. Sometimes they'd merely have a drink, sometimes someone would ramble on about something bothering them, and on rare occasions, they'd actually talk about something meaningful.
The sight of Mew suddenly appearing in the lounge wouldn't normally have inspired anything to be different. He was always popping in and out throughout the day for some reason or another, but today?
The look on Mew's face when he and Celebi emerged from the lounge stunned everybody.
"Mew! There you are! It's been weeks!" said Wario.
Knuckles was the first to comment about something being off.
"Are you okay? You look terrible," he said.
"Smooth, Knux," said Mihalis.
"Shut up."
"That being said," said Mew's former trainer, "What is it? You look shaken."
Mew floated in midair, motionless and speechless, for about ten seconds before he finally spoke.
"Mike..." he said, "We have to talk."
A few minutes later, the quartet found themselves sitting at their usual poker table, each with a drink in hand.
"Alright Mew," said Mihalis, "What's going on?"
Mew looked at Celebi, and she nodded in approval.
"I'm not supposed to tell you this... you all have to swear you won't breathe a word of it to anybody."
"If you're not supposed to tell us, then... why are you telling us?" asked the surprisingly, almost logical-sounding Wario.
Celebi looked impressed. Mew was unfazed.
"I figured it all out," he said.
"Figured what out?" asked Knuckles.
"Everything."
"You're gonna have to be more specific, buddy," said Mihalis.
"Mike, just listen! I mean it! I met a Pokemon even stronger than me!"
Mihalis immediately felt a lump in his throat.
A Pokemon more powerful than Mew.
He felt like he was going to be sick.
Mew continued, "I know this is confusing, but hear me out. This guy said he was a superclone of me built by Team Rocket 20 years ago. His name is even Mewtwo. He knew me before my memory got wiped!"
"Wait, there's a clone of you?" asked Wario.
"Your memory got wiped?" asked Knuckles.
Mihalis didn't ask anything.
"I found out I'm over a thousand years old, I'm from South America, and a long time ago, Mewtwo staged a battle with clones and real Pokemon, and I was there, and we fought, then he erased all my memories so I'd forget about it, and now he's hiding from..."
Celebi grabbed Mew's arm in an attempt to slow him down. The others looked like they'd just seen water catching on fire.
Except Mihalis, now feeling even more stressed and confused than before.
"Mew, before you continue..." he said. "You should know something."
"What?"
"Giovanni called me the other day asking for my help. He said he had his team looking for his old Pokemon, and he said it was the most powerful Pokemon of all time."
Mew froze.
Mihalis said "I think we might be talking about the same Pokemon."
Mew's mouth hung ajar.
"You're... you're not going to tell Giovanni, are you?" he asked.
Mihalis couldn't find an answer. Mew suddenly looked beyond desperate.
"Mike, please. PLEASE don't rat Mewtwo out. He begged me to keep his location a secret and I swore I would. Do you know what Giovanni would do if he found him?"
"I have a pretty good idea," the bartender responded. "Don't worry... I'm not telling him anything. I already said I wouldn't help him. I can't trust him worth a shit, but you? If you're asking, it's always for a damn good reason."
Mew finally breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.
"Thank you," he said.
And then, as if God was playing a cruel joke on the group, Mihalis's phone began to ring. He reached into his pocket for it and took one look before feeling himself sink.
It was Giovanni.
Just seeing his name flash on his phone made him feel like he was going to throw up. He desperately didn't want to discuss this with that monster any further, but he knew ignorance would only prompt more, angrier calls.
Mew gulped as he witnessed his trainer answer.
"Hello?"
"Mihalis," said the stern, low voice on the other end. Clearly his capacity for being pleasant had been exhausted.
"Yes?"
"I'm calling to see if you've reconsidered my request."
"Why? I already told you no."
The others could only hear one end of the phone call, adding to their suspense.
"I've nearly exhausted my resources trying to bring my old Pokemon home, and I can't afford to be polite anymore. I need you."
"What could you possibly need me for? I'd be just one more guy adding to a team of hundreds looking."
"You're not just 'one guy,' son. You have your Mew, so you have to know something. Do you realize the significance of your Mew?"
"Yeah, I damn well realize. Mew is my best friend, and he's not yours to use."
Mew began sweating upon hearing the mention of his name.
"Mihalis, considering only one Mew has ever been known to exist in our lifetimes, he has to be the same one whose DNA we used to create Mewtwo."
"Wait, what?!"
Mew hadn't yet mentioned the part where he was the one who shed the eyelash that led to Mewtwo's creation.
"My Pokemon is a genetically superior clone of your Mew. They are both Psychic-type, and our scientists believe they have a shared connection unique only to them. If we recruited your Mew, we could track down Mewtwo and bring him back into my possession."
"Possession? He's not some kind of fucking tool! Mew and Mewtwo are living, sentient creatures with minds of their own! We can't force them to do anything!"
"Tell me then, how is it any different than a child going into Viridian Forest, capturing a Caterpie, and forcing it to beat a rival Pokemon into unconsciousness, hm? How is it different than your Charmander hatching into a life of servitude to you? If Mew and Mewtwo are Pokemon all the same, then they would logically fit in to the same category. For years, you forced Mew to do your bidding in battle. I have the right to keep Mewtwo nearby for my own purposes, just the same."
"That's the difference, you asshole," said Mihalis, beginning to shout. "Mew is my friend. I never forced him to do anything. We were partners from day one."
Mew thought about how Giovanni had once promised Mewtwo that they would be partners, only for him to go back on his word, reducing him to a mere servant. Part of him feared Mihalis might do the same to him, but thankfully, most of him remembered that his old trainer had promised they would be partners, and 19 years later, he still hadn't gone back on his word.
"Pokemon and humans can never be the same," roared Giovanni. "I would have thought that an expert trainer like yourself might understand such a simple lesson. But maybe you don't. Maybe you're still just an impetulant, immature child who still disrespects his family."
"Family?! You were NEVER my family. You didn't show up for three decades! You had nothing to do with me, the only thing we have in common is that you're the one who knocked up my mom and drove her away!"
Giovanni fumed at the comment.
"She was a coward who wouldn't commit to the cause we'd built together. And she was no parent, either. She dumped you off when it was convenient for her!"
Typical Giovanni. Pushing the blame onto someone else instead of accepting any kind of accountability.
"She HAD to, because she was afraid of you! At least she's trying to make up for it, and not just calling me because it's convenient! You don't want a son, you want an heir, right? One who happens to have a Mew?"
Giovanni sighed. Mihalis could tell his anger was only growing, and being heavily restrained.
"I'm getting tired of arguing with you, son. I will find Mewtwo, no matter the cost. If you're going to insist on refusing to help, then all you're going to be is a nuisance."
"Sure, then brand me a nuisance. You're nothing but an entitled, angry, and bitter old man who's so miserable in his life that he has to make everyone around as miserable as he is! I don't want you calling me about this ever again!"
"Fine!"
And that was the end of it. The call was disconnected, and Mihalis threw his phone across the room as hard as he could. When it was halfway to the wall, he realized what he'd done. Thank God Mew was there to catch it with his powers before it landed and shattered into a million expensive pieces.
He slowly hovered the phone back, but hung onto it himself. Then Mew slowly hovered to his trainer and sat on his shoulder. He loved doing this, he always did when they were out adventuring, but this was maybe the second or third time, ever, that he allowed Wario and Knuckles to see that kind of affection.
"You okay?" he asked.
Mihalis threw his arm in the air.
"Why? Why does my father have to be such an evil asshole?"
He stood up, and Mew quickly backed away.
"Who the hell does he think he is making demands of me?! Why does he think he's entitled to MAKE me help him?! And now I know what he needs and can't say anything?! Am I going to have to just keep secrets for my whole life?!"
His raised voice sounded eerily similar to the digitized one they had just heard on the phone.
The temper he exhibited was absolutely reminiscent of Giovanni's. And everyone sitting around him knew it right away.
Mew especially. He couldn't stop making the connections. Giovanni had been Mewtwo's creator and trainer, promising him partnership and achieving something great together. And his son had been Mew's own trainer, promising the same thing.
Mew loved Mihalis. They were brothers. But for the first time, he was concerned that Mihalis might eventually crack and choose his father over him, and it terrified him.
Seriously though, fuck double-hook picture frames.
