'''Damien''' There is a new kid at school who turns out to be Nemo's older brother so satanic powers run amuck. Meanwhile it's Nelson's birthday and he demands certain presents.
== Plot ==
At recess Nelson was handing out letters to his party and punching kids in the stomach. "Go to my birthday party or you're dead! Go to my birthday party or you're dead."
Wendell cried when he was punched.
"What's Nelson doing..." Bart sighed.
"It's his birthday. That means he's forcing everyone to go." said Milhouse.
Nelson came to Boy with pink shades who doesn't wear his pink shades anymore. "Come to my party. Oh and don't bring anymore melted Hershey's kisses..." Nelson winded him with a punch to the gut.
"My mom leaves them on the dashboard!" Boy with shades groaned.
"Where's my invite?" Martin asked.
"I stuffed it up my butt. Basically you're not invited..." said Nelson.
"I know! If we all boycott the party he can't kill all of us and we'd be making a point!" said Bart.
In the background Arale from Dr Slump was prodding a dollop of poop with a stick...
Kid Goku winced exasperated at her.
However his mom had other ideas.
"Hmmmmph! Bartholomew J Simpson you're going to Nelson's party!" Marge full named him.
"But mom I don't like him! He's a bully!" said Bart. "And no one else is going!"
"If everyone told you to stick your head in an oven would you?" Marge asked.
"If they had a toothbrush moustache I would..." Bart replied. Marge hit him on his head with a wooden spoon. "Ow!"
"What do we have to say about not going to that party now huh?!" Marge showed the spoon to him as to threaten him. Bart complied.
Oscar frowned.
"And as for you-" Marge was about to make him go too but he fired eye lasers out of his eyes and burnt up her wooden spoon. Marge yelped.
"You were saying..." Oscar glared.
"Uh you don't have to go!" Marge gulped.
"And neither does Bart! Do I make myself clear?" Oscar replied.
"Okay Bart you don't have to go!" Marge gulped and ran out the room.
"Woohoo! Thanks Oz!" said Bart.
Lisa glared at them.
...
Instead Bart and Oscar walked about Evergreen Terrace as they headed to town. Possibly the Kwik E Mart.
"Oz?" Bart asked.
"Yeah?" Oscar replied.
"What's keeping you here in this dung hill?"
The only reason I don't move out of this dung hill is because of you, pal, and um... my court-ordered ankle bracelet. (his ankle bracelet beeps) I'm here, quit bugging me!" Oscar has a curfew ankle bracelet so the authorities can track him.
Bart winced.
"Must you always bring that thing up in conversation..." Bart groaned.
"Must you interrupt gag scenes..." Oscar retorted.
Bart interrupted the Deer Hunter gag at Moe's.
"Mao! Didi Mao!" The Vietnamese gangster yelled.
"What part of Didi Mao did you not understand?!" Bart yelled suddenly interrupted that scene.
Bart in the present winced.
Meanwhile in South Park.
Cartman was handing out invitations to his birthday party to everyone except Pip. He even invited Kyle.
Butters soon corrects this despite not having any lines in season one.
"Uh hey Cartman how comes you won't invite Pip but you'll invite Kyle? Who you're always picking on because he's Jewish..."
"Oh yeah... Gimme that invite!" Cartman snatched the invite from a Kyle and stuffed it up his butt. "Good thinking Butters! No damn Jews at my birthday party! Butters you're in charge of getting my Yellow Mega Man."
Kyle scowled.
"Nice going Butters!" He snapped.
"What?" Butters whined.
"You're a real jerk Butters..." Stan said coldly.
Butters blinked confused.
"I say chap! are you slighting me?" Pip sighed.
"Go away you French piece of crap!" said Cartman.
...
At school Nelson was sending out instructions for presents he wanted.
"Lewis you're getting me the blue mega man doll..." said Nelson.
"You're telling us what presents to bring?!" said Bart.
"Yeah so bring that Yellow Mega Man doll or your dead!" said Nelson.
"What the heck is a Mega Man doll?" Bart asked.
"You combine the blue mega man and the yellow mega man with the red mega man to make the ultra mega man!" said Nelson.
"Who then sucks Ultra donkey balls..." Bart sighed. Nelson punched him for making a smart remark.
"Kids take your seats! I have an announcement." said Mrs Krabappel.
Everyone took their seats.
"We have a new student joining us today, his name is Damien." said Mrs Krabappel. At the front stood a creepy boy with black hair. Satanic music played.
"He's weird..." said Milhouse.
Martin hushed him.
"May hell fire rain down upon you all!" Damien yelled.
"That's nice Damien, now take a seat." said Mrs Krabappel. Damien sat next to Wendell.
They then took their history class.
A kid talked to Damien.
"Where are you from?" He asked.
"The seventh layer of Hell!" said Damien.
"Oh I'm from Alabama." said the boy not thinking what Damien said was abnormal.
"My arrival harbours the beginning of the end! My father shall rule the earth on a bloodstained throne of beastly carnality and the bodies of millions!" Damien ranted.
"Your Dad?" The boy asked.
"The prince of darkness! The unholy one! Satan!" Damien yelled.
"Ay carumba!" Bart yelled.
"Coooool!" said Milhouse.
Bart winced at Milhouse.
"Children no shouting out in class. Do I have to send you to the principals office Damien..." said Mrs Krabappel.
Damien decided to be quiet for now.
...
Bart stopped Oscar to talk with him after class by the lockers.
"Oz didn't you notice something about Damien?" Bart asked.
"Like what?" Oscar asked.
"Like him saying he was the son of Satan and all that?!" Bart replied.
"Hang on. Didn't your aunts Patty and Selma adopt a kid with evil powers. Nemo was his name right?" Oscar asked.
"Maybe he is Nemo! No wait! Nemo's just a baby!" Bart replied.
They decided to ask Damien at recess.
"Hey Damien." said Bart engaging in small talk. Damien was sat on the see saw.
"The unclean will be purged with fire and death!" Damien ranted.
"Uh..." Bart tried to ignore that. "So um Damien, you don't happen to have a little brother do you?"
"Why yes! My baby brother Nemo! He gets on my nerves sometimes! How did you know?" Damien asked.
"He came up to earth for a while. My aunts adopted him." said Bart.
"Ah yes he's always going on about that and becoming the antichrist! I'm the one who's supposed to bring endless night and hellfire and screaming death!" said Damien.
"Uh can you not freak people out with your devil talk?" Bart asked.
"No! Now begone before I have you turned into beasts of burden!" Damien warned them.
Bart and Oscar decided to treat his warning seriously and leave.
"Wait just a second!" Damien said in a creepy echoing voice.
Bart and Oscar froze.
"You're that insufferable, foul mouthed brat with the lightning powers who foiled my Dad's plan to overrun the Earth with his legion of demons!" Damien snapped with glowing red eyes. Seething with anger.
"And you're a butthole." Oscar replied.
"Oz don't!" Bart warned him.
Damien used his powers to give Oscar antlers.
Oscar winced as he had grown antlers.
Bart laughed at him.
Oscar glared at him.
...
At lunch Nelson tried a new tactic of dealing with a party guest who wouldn't get him the right present.
"If you don't get me my Nerf blaster 3000 perhaps my mom won't give you any ice cream cake..." said Nelson.
"Nelson we all know your mom's poor because she works at an erotic night club as lap dancer and can't even afford ice cream cake..." said Bart.
"You take that back!" Nelson demanded.
"Make me." said Bart.
They got into a fight.
After the fight Oscar provoked Damien by saying Stevia Wonder cut his hair...
"Was your hair cut by Stevie Wonder?" Oscar taunted Damien.
"That's not funny Oz!" Ace the vampire kid told him off.
"Blame Matt and Trey..." said Oscar.
"Right that's it! I curse you into the form of an ungodly hybrid beast!" Damien used his powers on Oscar. Oscar was turned into a duck billed platypus.
"Quack!" Duck billed platypus Oscar quacked like a duck.
"Hey! He's supposed to get me my red Mega Man doll! Change him back now!" Nelson demanded.
Damien's eyes glowed and he threw Nelson with telekinesis.
Nelson screamed as he was sent flying.
"Ay carumba!" Bart gasped.
Lunch was hastily dismissed by Skinner because of the fights.
"Don't worry Oz, I'll get you back to normal. But Damien must be stopped!" said Bart.
Oscar quacked sadly.
Pip a 19th century British kid annoyed everyone, including Oscar by having an exaggerated accent.
"Cor blimey! That's using your noggin..."
"Shut up! I mean (Platypus noises)" said Oscar as a duck billed platypus.
Bart grimaced as he looked at his friend who was now a platypus.
Phineas from Phineas and Ferb winced.
"Phineas I'm not Perry the Platypus..." said Platypus Oscar.
"Crikey! Australia's only egg laying mammal!" said Numbuh 4 gasping.
...
It was Nelson's birthday. Everyone except Bart and Oscar were going.
"Hey! What are you guys doing! We had a pact!" said Bart.
"Our moms are making us go!" Milhouse replied.
"Milhouse... how many times must I tell you... you listen to me, not your mom..." said Bart.
"But she threatened to cut my allowance!" said Milhouse.
"Whatever she's paying you I'll double it..." said Bart.
"Okay! Sweet!" said Milhouse going back home.
"And as for you two!" Bart ranted at Lewis and Richard.
Oscar quacked and laid an egg.
Bart winced.
== Plot 2 ==
Nelson's birthday Party.
No one except Wendell, Martin and Damien went. Oh and Boy with Shades.
"What kind of trick is everyone playing?! If they don't think I won't beat all of them up, they don't know Nelson Muntz!" said Nelson.
Spider Man was there.
"We even got Spider Man!" Nelson ranted.
"That's just your dad..." said Boy with shades.
"Nuh uh! My Dad went missing during a trip to the store for cigarettes again. I don't think I'll see him again till college..." said Nelson.
"Here's your present Nelson!" said Martin.
"Ants in my pants?! What kind of game is this?!" Nelson didn't like his gift.
"It's a fun game! You-" Martin tried to explain.
"I wanted the blue mega man and the yellow mega man and the red mega man! Now I can't make ultra mega man!" Nelson threw a tantrum.
"But!" Martin protested.
"I hate you! I want you to die!" Nelson started to beat him up by slamming him against the floor.
"That's it! Party's over! Go home! Now!" Nelson yelled.
"But what about cake?" Wendell asked.
"Now!" Nelson yelled.
Damien got angry at this. He summoned scary shadows from the movie Ghost. They grabbed Wendell and threw him into the air. He exploded into fireworks.
"Cooooool!" said Nelson.
Boy with Shades winced.
Elsewhere.
"My name is Phillip, but everyone calls me Pip because they con't like me." said Pip.
"Very well, Then I shall call you Pip." said Damien.
Pip sighed.
Dende from Dragon Ball Z frowned. "You need to assert yourself! That's how I made Krillin stop calling me Little Green."
Krillin whimpered.
...
Meanwhile Bart was trying to turn Oscar back to normal with his Treehouse of Horror II powers.
However he just turned Oscar into various freakish things... including a fire breathing pickle clown creature with a flower for a face.
Bart settled for Oscar as a duck billed platypus for now...
"Ooooooh! I would have preferred being the pickle clown thing..." Oscar groaned.
"No Oz..." Bart sighed.
Marge came in.
"Hmmmmmm! Bart your boycott of Nelson's party caused him to have a violent tantrum and now Martin's in hospital with stitches!" said Marge.
"I'm sorry about poor Martin but Mom, Nelson was being very rude and bullying people to come to his party and making unreasonable demands! We were just teaching him a lesson!" Bart explained.
Marge hmmmmmed.
"Look I have more important things right now! There's this new kid at school called Damien who's the son of the devil and has been using his evil powers on everyone! Look what he did to Oscar!" said Bart.
Oscar quacked and laid a platypus egg.
Marge sighed.
Later they were out going to Bart's usual haunts. Ie the Kwik E Mart etc. When Dr Demento arrived.
Dr Demento laughed hysterically.
Bart screamed.
Platypus Oscar summoned Quiffy. However he split back into Spud and Cameron and they sat annoyed and glaring at Bart.
"Quack! What are you- Quack! Doing?! Quack!" Platypus Oscar yelled. "Fusion dance back into Quiffy!"
"No!" said Cameron and Spud.
"Why? Quack!" Oscar asked as he laid another egg.
"Because he's a thief!" Spud pointed at Bart.
"That's rich! You and your Dad stole my family's house!" Bart yelled.
"And your father humiliated me in a singing competition!" Cameron said annoyed.
Oscar sighed.
Dr Demento chuckled hysterically.
...
Meanwhile Damien summoned his father and they discussed their evil plan to take over the earth.
"Okay but first I have some sinners to punish, look after your baby brother." said Treehouse of Horror XI Satan. He passed Nemo, who was wearing a pale blue sleeper pyjamas with yellow spots to Damien.
"But Daaaad!" Damien whined.
"No buts! That doesn't work with me!" said Satan before returning to hell.
Damien sighed as he held Nemo. "Great, the future prince of darkness and I'm stuck looking after my baby brother! This is so diabolical I could just-" said Damien but Nemo silenced him by suddenly stuffing his shiny blue pacifier in Damien's mouth. Like Maggie did to Bart in Treehouse of Horror IV.
Bart eventually returned Oscar back to normal.
Bongo drums played as he used his psychic powers from Treehouse of Horror II.
"Phew! That was horrible! I think I laid an egg!" said Oscar glad to be normal again.
"Thank goodness you're not in South Park..." said Bart. Platypus Kenny got killed in this episode.
"Well I might have a use for a platypus form." Oscar had a silly idea.
"I don't wanna know..." said Bart.
Later.
"It's a fun game! Called... Stuff your furniture down the drain!" said Kooky Von Koopa from the bathroom.
"Um... Okay..." Bart said exasperated.
"Seriously Cheatsy... enough with the eyeshadow... You're a boy..." said Kooky.
...
In Hell.
Satan had punished Atilla the Hun and Stalin. He came back to his caverns to find Damien trying to put Nemo on the birdie boiler volcanic vents.
"Damien! What have I told you about copying that scene from Disney's The Lion King?!
"Not to..." Damien sighed.
"Ay Satan I'm horny!" said South Park Saddam.
"Not in front of the boys! Saddam!" said Satan.
"Oh yeah..." said Saddam. He had to resist his urges for sex, this was very difficult for him.
"Go off and play boys. But no sticking your baby brother on the volcano vents..." said Satan to Damien and Nemo.
Damien and Nemo left.
Satan sighed annoyed at his boyfriend Saddam.
Elsewhere in Hell.
Damien saw a volcanic vent or a birdie boiler. He smirked evilly.
Nemo winced at him worried.
...
Krustylu studios.
"Krusty!" Bart and Oscar cheered.
"Ah-hi kids, I only do autographs after the show." said Krusty. "Mel why does this kid get back stage privileges again..."
"Because he helped when my predecessor framed you for armed robbery... He reunited you with your father..." said Mel.
"Okay! I get it! I don't want to hear my life story!" Krusty groaned.
Krusty groaned as he had to babysit Bart and Oscar until the show started because his assistant said he should award Bart for all the nice things he did.
In South Park Jesus is a beloved celebrity. He's in Family Guy too!
"Jesus, you're on air." said a producer.
"Bless you all." said Jesus.
...
Moe's Tavern.
Homer and his friends are drinking. Moe is reading a book and drinking decaf coffee.
The drunks are talking about the late Maude Flanders.
"She went to hell in the middle of the day. She should have taken up smoking." said Homer drunk.
Maude warped down to Hell.
"Mrs Flanders why are you down here?" Satan asked while reading a women's tea time novel. You know those Hellen Fielding books or pretentious romance novels...
"Well I dunno but I never liked being a pure holy religious person. I want to be evil starting with having a relationship with you." said Maude.
"Well I do take the form of your husband sometimes... And anything that angers God I'm game for! Mwuhahahaha!" said Satan. "Let's see... homosexuality... check... infidelity... check! Polygamy... check! Gahahahaha!"
"Moe!" Homer Simpson, Lenny and Carl shout at once.
Moe looks up from his book.
"If I wasn't drunk, I'd say you're right, but I am drunk, and I'm going to keep saying the things I say when I'm drunk. Now get me more beer before I puke on your floor."
Homer and Lenny rush to get the beer.
"Hey! You have to pay for that!" Moe fetched his shotgun.
Homer and Lenny sat down.
"What are you reading?" Carl asked him.
"Little Women." said Moe.
Homer made an obscene remark about Maude.
"Maude is so hot...especially when getting peanuts from the bottom of the bowl... Mmmmmmm..."
"Hey! Homer you know I fancy that dame! Oh if only Ned kicked the bucket first I'd be so on her..." said Moe.
"Eeeeeew!" Homer groaned.
Barney belched.
"THIS IS STUPID! I WANNA TALK ABOUT VAGINAS!" Chief Wiggum in a wheelchair yelled.
...
At school. The playground.
Damien was torturing and scaring everyone.
"Fear my wrath!" Damien yelled as he shot fire from his hands at the playground roundabout and set light to it with magic fire.
Kids screamed.
"Oh no! Our slide!"
"Hoots mon!" Groundskeeper Willie gasped.
"The time of darkness is upon thee! May it rain blood and fire!" yelled Damien.
He summoned the scary shadow demons from Ghost.
"And burning trees... and bees... And make Nelson hit himself. Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!" said Damien.
"Oof! The irony!" Nelson groaned.
"The ironing is delicious." said Bart smugly.
"I think you mean the irony..." said Lisa.
"Mmmmmmm! Bart's shorts..." said Oscar.
Bart winced.
Jesus then appeared.
"Damien!" said Jesus sharply.
"Aaah! Son of Stench! Cursed Ruler of the weak!" Damien yelped.
"So it is thou, Son of Lucifer!" said Jesus.
Damien paused. "Oh yeah... I forget my Dad goes by many names... must be for tax evasion or something..."
"I will stop you!" said Jesus.
"Oh yeah? Well um... I will get my dad on you!" said Damien.
"Yes. I will face him in combat too." said Jesus.
Damien grimaced.
"Your mom's a dog..." said Oscar.
Damien set fire to his hair.
Oscar ran around screaming with his hair on fire.
Milhouse was being chased by lollipops singing "Sugar sugar! Doo doo doo!"
"Aaaaaaagh! Memes!"
Bart winced.
== Plot 3 ==
"Anyway I wonder how Nemo is tormenting the mortals..." Damien pondered.
Nemo, a black haired baby wearing blue feety pyjamas arrived in a burst of Hell fire in a cartoon forest.
He encountered Screwy squirrel.
Screwy squirrel snorted sucking up mucus that was up his big wet shiny black nose.
Nemo winced and was obsessed with Screwy's big wet shiny black nose.
Screwy sniffed his crotch with his big wet shiny black nose. Nemo winced and blushed.
"Uh okay...' said Damien.
Screwy Squirrel sniffs Baby Nemo and exclaims: "Ugh! You are a stinky baby and even more stinky on this morning."
Nemo frowned.
Screwy continued sniffing him. Nemo winced and wet his diaper.
Meanwhile Platypus Oscar visited someone.
"Ah! It's my arch nemesis Perry the Platypus!" said Dr Doofenschmirtz.
Platypus Oscar smirked.
Back in the cartoon forest. Screwy squirrel was still sniffing Nemo. Nemo winced and blushed.
The cartoon squirrel was still sniffing his crotch with his big wet shiny black nose.
Nemo winced.
Screwy was still sniffing him.
Nemo frowned and squeezed his nose. It squeaked like a toy. Nemo giggled. He honked Screwy's nose again.
Screwy grinned and sniffed him again.
Nemo blushed as he wet his diaper because Screwy was sniffing him with his big wet shiny black nose.
Damien was torturing the other kids still.
"Now feel the wrath - of the fallen angels! The plague of night is upon ye." He yelled as he unleashed his evil demonic powers.
Kids screamed and some burnt and others were tossed about by the scary shadow demons from Ghost.
Damien laughed maniacally as he tortured the kids.
...
In the middle of town Satan erupted from the ground. Everyone panicked and screamed.
"It's the apocalypse!" Tim Lovejoy yelled.
"Bwahahahaha! Kneel before me mortals! Your world ends today!" said Satan laughing evilly. He checked his watch. "Right after I get some coffee from Starbucks."
"Oh no! It's the apocalypse! The end of all things!" said Lisa.
"Oh shazbot!" said Bart frightened.
Oscar sniffed him. He had soiled his pants. "Eeeeew! Bart! Are you gonna do that every time there's a rapture or apocalypse?!" Oscar groaned. "I think you should wear diapers from now on!"
Bart winced exasperated at him.
In Starbucks Satan, a towering red demon was ordering coffee.
"Yes I'll have a tall latte..." said Satan.
"Anything else?" The staff asked him.
"Um... no." said Satan.
Very soon there were demons and gargoyles flying around and fire rain. And the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lisa was cowering and praying to someone.
"Lisa what are you doing?" Marge asked.
"Praying to Jesus, Buddha, Spongebob! There's no time to be picky!" Lisa was panicking.
Up in heaven Jesus, Buddha and Spongebob watched.
"Should we help?" Buddha asked.
"No! Screw her!" said Spongebob before he laughed insanely.
Back on earth.
"Bwuhahahaha! Pray all you want little Lisa! No one can help you now!" Satan laughed. "Now feel free to enjoy the barbecue! We have hotdogs!"
"Ooooooh!" said Homer delighted. He went off to the barbecue. Suddenly we hear him screaming.
"These hotdogs are really hot! Aaaaaaagh! There's pineapple in the coleslaw! Aaaaaaagh! German potato salad!" Homer screamed.
Satan laughed. "Yes enjoy your German Potato salad! Because it took my minions three days to make! Three days!"
"Aaaaaaagh! Nickelodeon potato salad references!" Bart screamed.
...
At some point the entire town was now flooded with molten lava and the Simpsons were on the roof of their house being tormented by Satan.
Marge had snakes for hair. Homer was being beaten up by his own disembodied arms and legs punching and kicking him. "D'oh! Ow! D'oh!" He groaned.
Maggie's teddy bear came to life and was growling and clawing at her.
Lisa was a giant snail like in Treehouse of Horror III's Dail Z for Zombies.
And Bart was being chased by bees. He was screaming as the bees chased him.
"This is horrible! Is there no one who can save us?!" Lisa whined.
"Yes there is!" said a divine voice!
"Jesus?!" said Lisa as Jesus appeared in a column of light. Then Buddha and then Spongebob.
"Yes Lisa. We are... The Holy Rangers!" said Jesus.
"We're ripping on South Park now..." said Oscar to the fourth wall.
The Mighty Morphing Holy rangers started fighting Satan. At first they were winning but Satan got the upper hand.
"We need back up! Call the other Holy Rangers!" said Jesus.
Other prophets and important people from various religions appeared. Such as Mohammad and Vishnu and the Master Control Programme from Tron as Moses.
"Mwaaaaaaaaaaah!" Moses fired a powerful laser at Satan blasting him straight back to hell.
Damien and Nemo were so scared of the Holy Rangers they surrendered and went back to Hell. All the demons and evil stuff was completely undone. Springfield was back to normal.
"Wow thanks Jesus!" said Bart.
"We help any of our followers. Be they Christian, Jewish or whatever faith they choose. Except Scientology..." said Buddha.
Tom cruise was offended.
Bart was also offended.
"Knock it off with that!" Bart yelled at the fourth wall.
Oscar laughed.
The Holy Rangers went off to heaven.
"What if we need you again?!" Lisa asked.
"Have faith my children." said Jesus.
"Hey she's one of my flock now!" said Buddha as they vanished.
"Well that's the end of that adventure." said Homer. His family agreed and went home.
Hell.
"You may have won this round, Simpsons! But we shall meet again!" Satan roared.
The end!
