"I don't get it."
Jaune sat on his bed, head in his hands pulling at the strands of hair.
"I've tried...I've tried moving on...I've tried getting past it...I...I thought I was making progress...thought I was moving forward...then the emptiness started eating away at me."
He looked down at the red sash gripping the fabric tightly sucking in a breath.
"Since that night, nothing I do brings me joy...it doesn't bring me pain...it doesn't bring me anything...it's just...emptiness."
Jaune took a breath bringing the sash to his face breathing deeply.
"I...I just...I don't feel anything anymore.I can't emote anymore...I'm numb."
He rested the sash on his lap, droplets soaking it slowly and continued to fall.
"I'm just a walking corpse, going through the motions...because I know that if I took the easy way out, it'd hurt my family more than anything...they'd blame themselves...they'd lament...lash out..."
The scarlet fabric darkened, the stream of tears unending.
"And...and my friends...they'd hate themselves...they'd feel just as guilty...so even if God stood across from me, and I'd want to tell him that I'm done, I'm tired and ready, I couldn't. i wouldn't.."
He gripped the sash, the tears dropped and he wrenched them out of it, the droplets falling to the floor.
"I'm tired...I'm so tired Pyrrha...I just wish I could stop existing...I wish I could stop...stop it all...I just can't though...I need to slap on a fake smile...pretend I'm okay...keep everything inside of me...can't be a burden right? Can't drag the rest of the team down...So...I'll suffer...I'll suffer in silence...and when...and when the day comes when I meet my maker? I'll accept it. I'm not going to fight...I'm not going to struggle..until then, I'll trudge along Pyrrha...I won't be a burden...I refuse to be one...so I'll move forward, slap on that fake smile, act like I'm okay, be there for everyone even though no one can be there for me... and move forward, no matter how much I hate it."
He sucked in a breath and looked down at the last remnant of his partner.
"I'll tell everyone I'm fine...and that...that will be the biggest lie I've ever told...
