Chapter 7: Life is Cruel
"Come on, Rick! Give me something!"
"I don't know. Pass!"
"Icon, mother, superstar, musician, actress, was in a famous girl group, married to a billion-year rapper!"
"I need more, Chonne!"
"Um, she's the blank of the group. Rick!" Michonne shook her hands in frustration.
"Pass! Oh, time's up! Who the hell was that?"
"Rick, how do you not get Beyoncé? Michonne, you are not doing your womanly duties!"
"How is that on me, Sasha? If it isn't a damn backwater country artist, the man won't know!"
"Hey, I know who Beyoncé is! I still did better than Daryl." He took a sip of his beer.
"Sasha and Rosita still beat us!"
"That's why you don't pick for love; you pick to win!" Rosita sat next to Daryl as she teased.
"You people are not going to guilt me for choosing my man!"
Michonne left the centre of the living room and went over to Rick, dropping herself into his lap and planting three loving pecks on his lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"So what's next, Spades?"
"No, come on, Sasha, why would you even suggest that? Can they even play Spades? I know this one can't. And I know Maggie can't either."
"I'm a fast learner!"
"Let's say I teach you quickly. You're still going to be trash as a newbie. And for the game to be fair, I can't pair you up with someone weak; that's unfair, and I'm not mature enough to have you as my partner. I can't take Mag either; that's two pregnant women hurting each other's feelings. I can't have that!"
Maggie rolled her eyes, offended, while Sasha and Rosita burst out laughing like the screeching of a rusty hinge. Daryl, humoured by the whole thing, looked at Rick, blocking a grin.
"No faith in me at all, huh?"
"No, baby, I have no faith in me, but I'll teach you one of these days." Michonne planted a kiss on his lips and stroked his chest to soothe his ego. "You guys come up with something; I'm going to the kitchen; I vote twister."
She got up from Rick's lap and strutted to the kitchen, not paying a single mind to the goings-on of what was happening behind her. Though she knew her man was watching her behind, she missed Maggie following her to her destination. Michonne opened the refrigerator to get some orange juice. When she raised her head back up, her eyes met Maggie's invasive, probing gaze.
"What the hell, Mags? You scared me!"
"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant when you were at the farm?"
"Family reasons? It's complicated, Maggie. You know everything that's going on. Rick only found out on Tuesday, and I didn't even get to tell him. My father saw to that, and it was such a mess, so much so that Rick and I almost had a fight, and he didn't come back till morning."
"About the baby?"
"Yeah, and other things, but the baby was the catalyst. The only person I told was my mother; I just needed someone to talk to. He thought he was the last to know, and don't get me started with him and my father."
"Well, since you announced, that means you guys are having another kid."
"Maybe it's because I'm an only child, but I like being a mom, and I want more kids. Having another child was never a problem for me. However, I can't ignore the fact that Rick and I don't exactly have the most stable environment. I don't think I have to explain what the hell is wrong, but things are going to get better. It already is. Luckily, his divorce is going to be finalised any day now."
"Well, that's great news! Finally getting that woman out of his life for good. He deserves that. You both do."
"Yeah? Well, it doesn't matter if they're divorced; she'll always be part of our lives, whether we want it or not. She's Carl's mother, and Rick isn't just going to stop loving Judith, regardless of what he says... I don't know; sometimes I wish he could be a bit more selfish or a bit more cold."
"Michonne."
"I don't mean cutting his other family off or anything like that. Judith is a sweet girl, and I adore Carl. It's just—I just—as a mother, I want what's best for my children, and Rick isn't always that. It might sound screwed up, but I had to make sure that the boys didn't get attached to him. They love him; that's their father, but I made sure they would be okay if he wasn't around. The truth is, I didn't know if he would have left Lori. In fact, when we began our relationship, he was still very much trying to make things work with her. Men rarely leave their wives for the mistress, and I knew that." She grabbed glasses for them both.
"Michonne."
"I held on to him because he was the one I wanted. I didn't think about the consequences; I was selfish. Your father calls you selfish; my father knows I am selfish. He revels in it. I didn't trust him, and I didn't believe anything he said. The constant back-and-forth and back-and-forth between them and us wasn't fair to my children, but I made it so. I settled for second place, then I got pregnant, so it was all on me, really."
"Have you said any of this to Rick?"
"No, and why should I? Everything is working out for the better now. We're going to be a real family soon."
"The two of you are gonna have to talk, Michonne. You can't have that festering between the two of you. It ain't gonna end well. Trust me, I know. Just because he's getting his divorce doesn't mean that everything is all hunky-dory. At this point, that divorce don't mean shit; him and Lori are done." Maggie took Michonne's hand. "The problems you had before are the same ones you're gonna get after. Chonnie, if you don't deal with it, everything you've weathered is gonna go to waste, and you will end up resenting him. Hunny, take my foolish advice."
Michonne took a deep breath. Maggie's words had stung her. She didn't want to continue the discussion so she changed the subject from herself to Maggie.
"You announced your pregnancy... So you guys are keeping it, right?"
"Yep, I talked to him a few days ago... We talked it out, so I guess we're having a third kid too."
"Well, congrats to you both."
"I want a divorce. I'll tell Glenn when he gets back."
"What? Maggie, I thought— what?"
"I think our marriage has run its course. I will always love him, but I'm not in love with him anymore. To be honest, part of me hates him. I walked into marriage way too young, so much so that I didn't even know myself or what I wanted out of life yet. I love my kids, but if I could go back, I'd do things differently." She smiled as her eyes grew distant; it was as if she were watching the pass right then. "I did too much and said too little. It came to a point when knowing how to feel and what to do was expected of me. Sometimes we, as women, don't know where to stop. And we give and we give until we're empty, and the only thing that's left to fill us up is hate and bitterness and anger, till we become monsters! When I tell you, don't let it fester, I mean it…What you see now is an attempt to save myself. I'm not a good person, I'm not a good wife, and I'm not a good mother either, but I did try, and I'm still trying for my kids' sake. I've made up my mind."
"What did you tell Hershel?" Maggie didn't respond as Michonne asked. "And I'm guessing Hersh doesn't know?"
"No, he doesn't... Chonnie, at what point do we stop caring about what our parents think? I got married young because he wanted me to do it the right way, the Christian way; I wanted to make him proud. So much for that; I became his biggest disappointment. I will be a divorced 26-year-old with two young children and a baby on the way. In a sense, it's a nice fuck you." Maggie laughed, drinking the orange juice Michonne had poured them both. "Oh, how I wish I could fucking drink."
"I accidentally had a glass of wine two weeks ago; I totally forgot. You're doing better than me! But I blame Rick since it was about Lori in the first place! Congratulations on your soon-to-be divorce."
"And congrats to Rick's! I hope my shit doesn't take that fucking long! I might just have to kill him!" They hit their glasses together.
"Count him lucky. I know someone whose divorce lasted ten years."
"Now that's the work of the damn devil! I'm telling you, Chonne, I'd have to kill somebody!"
They giggled uncontrollably, their eyes crinkling at the corners, and a tranquil glow emanated from within as the two talked about everything. Just as they realised they were taking a while, Rick entered, checking on the two.
"Hey, what's taking you two?"
"Hey baby, we were just talking about our little soon-to-be bundles of joy."
"Oh? I'm glad you made up your mind, Mags. I'm here if you need me."
"I appreciate the protective big cousin act, but your life might be worse than mine, Ricky."
"Oh, don't call me that. You know I hate that name."
…
Later that night, Rick and Michonne laid in bed. Their room was farther than everyone in the west wing. Rick held Michonne in his arms as she played in his hair.
"Chonne, go to sleep…" His words slurred as he started drifting off.
"No, I'm bored."
"You're bored? Just close your eyes…Relax darling." He stroked her back as if to calm her.
"Are you really that tired?"
"Mhmm…"
"Are you sure?"
Her hand travelled from his hair to his right thigh, keeping her gaze locked on his face. Rick shot open his eyes, meeting the big brown pools that were hers and he let out a deep sigh.
"What a wicked girl you are. Now I'm gonna be all restless."
"I can fix that, you know?"
She had a sly smile on her lips as her hand found its way into his boxers, playing with a familiar friend. He flipped her to the bed, planting a kiss on her lips and tracing her ears and neck. He took a deep look at her flustered face, pulling down her shorts, diving face first between her legs, making her shake. When he was done, he pulled her to him by her thighs.
"We'll see, won't we, now?" His watery blue eyes squared up with hers as she tried to calm her breathing.
…
It was about 9:15 a.m. when Rick woke up. Michonne was still asleep and he didn't expect her to wake anytime soon so he quietly went to the bathroom to clean up and dress before making his way to the kitchen, only to see Daryl getting ready to serve breakfast and Abraham drinking coffee.
"Abe, when did you get here?"
"A sun-kissed hello to you too! Where's little Miss Red Bottoms?"
"Sleeping. Tired."
"Y'all was bumping uglies late last night, huh? It's almost 10:00 o'clock."
"What the hell are you talking about? She's just tired."
"Get a hold of this, Daryl! He thinks we don't know! I know the face of a man who had a big old night of lovemaking with his lady. Don't be shy; ain't that how baby number three came to this here fine earth?"
"You know already?"
"What did you expect? News travels fast and I got an old lady who loves to gossip with yours truly. Does old Rey know?"
"Yep, He's the one who told me and it went as well as you'd think."
"I'd expect nothing less from that old sexagenarian fox. Damn jeez and ages, Chonnie and Maggie. Seems the best is yet to come; I might get my little Miss Sunshine after all!"
"I thought Sasha didn't want any more children right now." Rick's voice was teasing.
"That's what she says but she's a petty little thing." Abraham leaned over, softening his voice. "She's gonna start feeling left out and realise all the things she misses without thinking about what she hates. Then she'll come to me and say something like, 'Abe, I think it's time we had another baby,' and right there waiting, not having to do a damn thing. Women."
"You're damn ridiculous and stupid," Daryl added as he let out a small laugh.
"Nah, I just know my moody-ass wife! Don't worry, y'all bush monkeys are gonna get there. You don't argue with your misses; you gotta be smart. Women don't like to feel like they lost control and when you argue, even when you're right, you're wrong."
Daryl and Rick exchanged a knowing look, only to lean back at their loss of composure. Their laughter echoed throughout the entire kitchen. Rick and Daryl had grown close to Abraham, similar to how Sasha and Michonne got with Maggie. Abraham was entertaining in everything he said or did, to the point that the man reminded him of Marie, though both their personalities were different. Rick was filled with quiet contentment, ready to hear more as he sat on his stool next to Abraham.
"You know you can just, I don't know, talk to your wife."
"Madness! That might work for Chonnie, but not the old ball and chain. You see, Sasha, once she smells blood in the water, that's it. If I ask straight up, she'll gut me in the stomach like a fish with things she wants."
"What's wrong with that?" Rick turned to Daryl, who was leaning on the counter, both waiting for an answer.
"Her wants are expensive! Cost me a goddamn arm and a leg! Hell no! With a wife, you're gonna have to learn to play the game right or that dog won't hunt!"
Rick slid off the stool holding his stomach as Daryl pulled out a cigarette from his back pocket, staring at the ceiling as he lit it up, both trying to lose themselves anymore than they already had. A known but unexpected voice entered the fray, adding to the fun.
"You're gonna have to forgive him, boys." His voice, jolly and relaxed. "He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow!"
"Well, I'll be damn! Ain't it the man who loves to preach? Finally, made your appearance!"
"Morgan!" Rick hugged his old friend. "Where's Carol?"
"With the girls. Daryl, I see you already whipped up breakfast. That's good cause we haven't ate."
"Knock yourself out. I'm gonna take the food to the girls. Abe, prep that meat. Let me know when everything's ready. Rick, you might as well go get Chonne."
"I didn't see Michonne or Maggie when we came in. They're still asleep?" Mogan had his mouth stuffed with eggs while he spoke.
"Michonne is. I don't know about Maggie."
"Nah, Maggie's awake. Saw her when I came in this morning. She was with Sasha, rubbing elbows."
"Well, there you have it. Abe, we having a barbecue? If so, let's go by the lake."
"Yeah, I hear the lake—"
A wail of crying cut Abe off as it came rushing to the kitchen. The three men looked over in the direction only to see a crying Maggie struggling to put words to thoughts. Rick sprinted to her, holding her drooping body up by its shoulders as she hit his chest. He could see that she had cried so much and for so long; her tears now stung and the corner of her lips pulled down, shaking as she tried to stop the overwhelming pain.
"Maggie! Maggie, hey, talk to me. I'm right here listening. I'm here!"
"He's gone! He's gone! Rick!" She clasped his shirt, resting her head as her legs gave out. "Glen? Guy, go get Chonne; let the others know what's going on!"
…
"Chonne, did you get her to talk?"
"No, not really, but I managed to call the hospital back... The car—his car got hit by a semi on the way back. They had to cut him out of the vehicle. He died on arrival at Grady Memorial. He was almost home, Rick." Her voice began to break.
"Oh God! What about—what do we even tell the children?"
"Rick."
"I mean, they're so young—"
"Rick! We will cross that bridge when we get there, but right now, we need to take Mggie home. Okay?"
"Yeah, you're right?"
"Sasha? I'm sorry to ask this of you—"
"Chonnie, stop; we're family. I will deal with everything on this end. Maggie needs you. The both of you."
"Thank you, Sash."
Rick and Michonne took Maggie and left, heading to the hospital to confirm it was indeed Glen. His body was in bad condition, but his face was still recognisable; they could have an open casket if Maggie desired such. Unlike the balling out she did at the lake house, she was strangely quiet seeing the body; she simply confirmed as her eyes grew more hollow and dim. Rick held her the entire time while Michonne did most of the talking and when they were finished, they passed by the villa to pick up André and RJ knew they'd be staying at the farm for a while. She thanked her mother for holding her boys and explained what was going on. She spoke to her father; their words were limited but polite for the most part on her end, while he was unaffected by what happened earlier in the week. He and Rick were still very much antagonistic to one another and they did not care. Michonne packed a suitcase for her and the boys while Rick waited in his Ford with Maggie after speaking with Marie. She didn't stay long since the boys already had clothes at their grandparents.
…
When they got to the farm, the first thing Michonne did was lead Maggie to her bedroom while Rick delivered the news to the rest of the family, excluding the kids. Maggie had to be the one to give them the news. Michonne then called Glen's parents to make sure they knew if they hadn't already heard about the tragedy. They were a bit belligerent on the phone, but she chucked it up to her being a stranger and she knew no one would want to hear news of their child's untimely death. Michonne was the main organiser of the funeral, with the help of Grace. She was there every step of the way, be it financially or emotionally and when Glen's parents arrived two days before his send-off, she was the mediator, knowing that Maggie did not get along with any of them.
That night, there was a huge blowout, no matter how hard Michonne tried to control the situation. Maggie had been passive and composed through all of it, even when she explained everything to Herschel and Hana but when Glen's family mentioned taking the kids that night, she had never seen Maggie lose her temper that much.
Rick and Arthur had to hold her back with everything they had. She had barely eaten during this time, and they didn't know where she found the strength to pounce on Glen's mother. As the father-son duo kept her from committing a crime, She yelled at the top of her voice,
"What Children? What fucking children! The children you didn't give a damn about? The children you didn't care about? The children you almost disowned him for? How fucking dare you? I dear you! I double fucking dare you! Look! My uncle's gun is right on that fucking wall! Take it, you bitch, cause that's the only way you're gonna get my children! You evil bitch! You and that dumb cunt you call a husband and your whore daughter!"
Rick had knocked her out just to get her upstairs. The Rhees did not stay like everyone had planned but went to a hotel instead, making their disgust heard before leaving, even going as far as questioning Maggie's ability as a mother, which sent Herschel Sr. off. He often criticised Maggie, but that didn't mean he would let outsiders do so against his child. Truthfully, the entire affair was taking its toll on the whole house. Michonne and Grace did their best to keep everything flowing well until the funeral and lucky for them, things went smoothly and the repass was going in full swing.
"I got her to drink some tea. Hersh is with her now."
"Thank you, Chonnie. For being here for Maggie."
"You don't have to, Grace. Mags would do the same for me; naturally, I'd do it for her."
"What are you going to do about the boys? Have they eaten? I can go."
"No need. Rick's upstairs with them, and Carl too. Maggie's head is not in the right place, so it's up to us to organise everything. Has his family eaten? Honestly, they already should have. I'm sure they won't like being the last to be attended to."
"That didn't even cross my mind." Grace rubbed her head. "I'll go deal with them now."
"I'll leave you to make that call but you should be careful with them. Maggie said they aren't exactly welcoming. We saw what happened two nights prior."
"Mhmm, the last time I spoke to them was at the wedding."
"Should I deal with the Rhee's?"
"No! No, sweetie! You've done enough; you should be off your feet right now anyway! What about your parents? Have they eaten?"
"Yeah, my cousin made sure."
"That's good! You, get upstairs; get some rest. Beth and I will deal with things down here. No excuses!"
Michonne nodded in acceptance, leaving the kitchen and going into the hall, where she unexpectedly met Arthur. His face was blank as it always had been and his blue eyes were empty. Under his lifeless gaze, she could feel her back tense up. No one could ever read a man like this unless he wanted to be read. Michonne feared people like this the most. People who had such control over their emotions and behaviour that everything was calculated and measured; people like that were dangerous. A moment of weakness wasn't a moment of weakness but something they wanted to be seen. In this regard, Arthur reminded her of her father, Reynard; however, there were key differences in the way they operated.
Rick respects his father, admires him even. Does he not see what I see? Doesn't Grace? He doesn't seem controlling, at least not the way my dad does it. It's quiet, strategic. You won't even notice!
"Michonne."
"Uh, yes, Arthur?" His deadpan voice snapped her back to reality.
"Where is Grace?"
"She's inside." Michonne pointed to the door. "She's getting the Rhees' food ready and preparing to talk with them.
"The Rhees, huh… I see. Well then, I'll leave you to your devices. Tell Rick to come talk to me later. You should stay off your feet as well."
"Yes."
He walked past her, pushing open the door, not waiting for her response. After he was out of sight, she let out a breath and proceeded on her journey, passing through the living room where many gathered so she could head upstairs. When she reached upstairs near the bathroom, on the way to where Rick and the children were, she met an even more unexpected guess.
"Lori… I didn't expect to see you here." Michonne gave nothing away in her tone of voice.
"Well, I was part of this family and I still consider myself part of this family; naturally, I'd have to show my support. Besides, it's the Christian thing to do."
"The Christian thing?" Michonne let a small, innocent smile climb onto her lips.
"Yes, the Christian thing." Lori smiled as well, not quite letting it grace her eyes though.
"I guess you must have enjoyed the service then. We worked hard."
"Yes, it was a beautiful send-off for someone as kind as Glen. I can tell you worked hard. Your eyes say everything."
Michonne's smile grew wider as her eyes lingered on Lori for a bit before dropping her gaze to the little person beside her, whose hand she held tightly. She bent her back to meet her level.
"Hi, Judith! You've gotten so tall since I last saw you!"
"Really?" Her eyes lit up at the false flattery.
"Mhm hmm! You've gotten prettier too. Especially those big brown eyes! Did you get them from your mom? I know Carl gets his pretty blues from his father."
"Maybe." She shrugged her shoulders. "Where's Dre and RJ? I don't see 'em."
"Oh, there with their daddy."
"I haven't seen Daddy either." She pulled her mother's hand, urging her. "Mom, can I go look?"
"Judith, No."
"Why not? I haven't seen Daddy in so long! He promised to take me shopping."
"Judith, I'm sure Rick is busy; don't—"
"I'm sure Rick won't mind... Unless your mother does, it's up to her. I was heading there now." Her voice, calm and regal as she and Judith looked at Lori.
"Mommy? Can I go?"
"We can…" Lori swallowed hard as the three went forward.
"So, Chickadee, how is school?"
"Good! I got all my work correct! I'm happy to go back. Home was so boring!" She giggled.
"So, I take it you're behaving yourself?"
"Mhmm!"
"That's my girl!"
Lori's eyes flicked between the two while she watched the exchange. Maybe she should feel better knowing that her children and this woman got along but she didn't. Nor did she think that anyone would feel good knowing that their children were fond of the woman their husband left her for.
Is she doing this on purpose? I'm sure she's trying to get under my skin... Everything she does is manipulative and fake. From the way she walks and talks to the way she dresses, no doubt, she's pretty, but Rick isn't the type who's gonna throw away his marriage for something that shallow. It ain't the money either… Her pregnancy no doubt helped. Must've been planning it a while. How can she walk next to me without a lick of guilt after everything—after fucking my husband and getting knocked up by him? How shameless can one woman be?
They came to a stop, ending Lori's internal rant. Lori knew the room that she stood in front of well. It used to be hers and Rick's whenever they had a rare overnight visit. Michonne gave Judith and Lori a smile before opening and entering the door. Carl was lying on the bed, playing with his switch, oblivious to his surroundings. Seeing Rick sitting at the side, feeding a sleepy André and RJ, Judith broke out of her mother's grip, rushing over to the man known as her father. She rushed into him so hard that he almost lost the plate in his hands. Michonne, however, took the plate, and RJ, who sat on Rick's lap before anything happened, sat down next to him and André, ready to continue feeding the boys. Rick couldn't read her expression, even after Judith yelled,
"Daddy, I missed you!"
"I missed you too, nugget." His voice trailed and he paused, lost in his mind but then pulled her onto his lap. "Sorry, I didn't come get you. I've been a bit busy."
"That's okay; I forgive you."
"You been a good girl for mommy?" He looked up at Lori with a questioning look.
"Well, obviously!"
"Oh, I see we've grown a little sass now."
He tickled her until she begged him to relent. Lori had been silent till now, simply watching, and though she wanted to speak, she couldn't organise her thoughts enough to put them into words. She looked to Michonne, who seemed to hold no interest in what was going on, focusing only on the task of feeding her children. She had berated this woman when she confirmed her existence and learned that she was pregnant with what would be her husband's sons and never once did she retaliate against her.
What is going on in that head? Does she think nothing of me? She's never said more than necessary and if she didn't have to talk to me at all, she wouldn't. She's never even lashed out at me! It's always that fague fucking fake smile... Why did she even bring me here? To see her with my husband? To taunt me? To make me feel guilty? She's in the same damn room with me, his wife so how can she be so... Indifferent. Even Rick had a reaction. But she just… What the fuck is wrong with her?
"Carl, did you not see your mother? Get off that game. Now. I've had enough."
"Baby, he's just bored. There's nothing here for him to do."
"Nope, he's done for the day. I had to take it while we were in church. Give him an inch; he wants a mile." He turned to Carl. "Go downstairs; make some friends."
Michonne didn't respond. She couldn't defend him. She could only look at Carl to say that he messed up while trying to calm a fidgety André, who was trying to jump up and down the sofa bed, trying to get to Judith.
"Dre, peanut, sit down."
"I'll babysit; go get some rest. You've been going for days." Rick settled Judith, as she became restless as well.
"And leave you by yourself? You've been going like a horse. You're tired too."
"I'm not the one who's pregnant. Chonne, go take a nap. Please…I'll manage."
"I didn't know you guys were pregnant. Congrats…"
"Thank you, Lori. You can leave Judith if you like. Chonne and I would—"
"No! No… She has school tomorrow. We haven't prepared yet, so we should really get going.
"But mommy—"
"Judith."
"Listen to your mother. I promise I'll take you on that shopping trip soon."
"You promise."
"Mhmm, now go on to your mom."
"Bye André, bye RJ, bye Michonne!"
Lori gave Rick a slight nod to say that she was leaving. The boys waved Judith goodbye as Michonne finished feeding them. She put the plate on the side, stretching her weary legs.
"I'm gonna take the twins to Marie. It's time for their nap anyway, and you won't be able to rest if they're here, and the same for them. I'll be back after I help Marie settle them."
He kissed the crown of her head and took her in for a minute, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. Even though exhaustion was plastered on her face, he couldn't look away. She was too beautiful to him; all he wanted was for his divorce to be finalised so he could make her, his properly. He wanted to finally be a real family, officially in the same house, with all his kids together and her by his side as his wife. He wanted her and their boys to have his name; it had been bothering him for so long, but deep down, he knew why she didn't take that step. Seeing Lori today had been a stark reminder of the shackle he called their marriage at his feet, but he'd be free any day now, and for that, he was eternally grateful. He reluctantly stopped, knowing he'd be back soon. He took his sons to their grandmother, leaving Michonne to rest. She went to bed, and as soon as she hit the pillow, she was out like a light.
…
Michonne didn't know how much time passed, but her rest was disturbed when she felt a movement next to her. Strong arms pulled her in and began playing with her hair.
"Rick?"
"Did I wake you? Thought I was being quiet. Sorry, sweetheart."
"How long have I been out?"
Her mouth opened in a wide O, and she stretched her arms out in front of him, then rubbed her eyes aggressively as if that might clear the heaviness from them.
"About three hours. Repass is done; people are gone. Your mom just left; she didn't want to wake you up. She's been a huge help."
"Three hours? Why didn't you wake me? We said a nap. Where are the boys?"
"I know, but look how tired you are. Don't worry, we managed to get everything in order," he kissed her cheek. "Relax; the boys are in bed. Their nap didn't last long at all," he chuckled a bit. "They spent most of the evening watching cocomelon. But on the bright side, they hit the hay early. Go back to sleep."
"I won't be able to unless I take a bath anyway."
"Well, you just woke up; wait a while before you go to the bathroom."
"How's Maggie? Did she ask for me?"
"Mag's is as good as can be expected. To be honest, she hasn't asked for anyone. I think she needs time. To gather her thoughts... Darling, you know, ever since all this happened, I kept thinking about Maggie, where she goes from here, and about the kids and them being without a father. It ain't gonna be easy." He took her hand in his. " I kept thinking about what if that happened to us and I just—"
"Rick. Don't. We don't know what the future has in store for our family; we can't focus on things we can't see or control, especially when life is unpredictable. We just have to make do with the time we have now. I have always lived like that, and I don't intend to stop now. I love you, I love our boys, and regardless of what, I know I'll be grateful for what I have now." She took the hand she held and put it over her belly. "Baby, life is cruel, but it's also very beautiful. I'm not afraid."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"Just being you; for everything you've done. I've put you through so much, and honestly, I don't deserve you." Rick pulled her closer to his body. "When the divorce is finalised, I don't wanna wait. Is that okay with you?"
Her heart felt like it was swelling at his words as a radiant smile spread across her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a passionate kiss on his lips as they deepened it. When it broke off, the couple fixed their gaze on each other. Her voice carried a buoyant lilt, words tumbling out in a hopeful cadence.
"I don't want to wait either."
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"I'm ready for that bath now. Want to join me?"
"Darling, you don't got to ask me twice."
…
After the funeral, they stayed at the farm for a few days since Michonne wanted to help Maggie with all her legal documentation, where Glen's assets and her children were concerned. She had a feeling that Maggie would have the devil knock at her door soon and she wasn't going to allow any weakness or openings; that was the last thing her friend or those kids needed at the moment. Being the last day at the family farm, Michonne paid Maggie a visit before she left. She wouldn't see her for a week and wanted to have a conversation before going.
"Maggie?"
"Chonnie…" Maggie, lying on her bed, stretched her hand out to pull Michonne next to her.
"I'll be going soon."
"When?"
"In a little bit. I wanted to see you first."
"André and RJ?"
"Having Grandma and Grandpa time."
"Damn, I'm a shitty person. They've been here almost two weeks, and I haven't even had time with them. Hell, I barely have time with my kids."
"Oh, Mag's. Please don't do that. You are going through something that no wife or mother should ever have to experience. You need time and that is normal."
"No. God's punishing me." She shook her head as the tears fell for the first time since she found out. "He's punishing me for everything I've done and said."
"No! Maggie…"
"There aren't a whole lot of people in this world that I care about, but what I had was enough. I was so hard on him and I messed up so many times before too. I was such a bad wife!"
Maggie's hand cupped over her nose and mouth, amplifying her sobs as she beat her chest and hot tears trickled down her pretty face. Michonne took her hands from her and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"You weren't wrong. Maggie, no one is perfect. You wanted to leave because you thought it best. You are not a monster for that. You're not perfect and Glen wasn't either; I've seen it firsthand," Michonne let out a sad giggle. "But you loved each other in spite of it! Sometimes we want to take steps that we think would be best for us, but that's human. You told me all of the things that you hated about Glen and your marriage, but you also told me how much you loved him, even when you told me you wanted to walk away. You believed that your time together as a couple was over and that's okay. It wasn't you and it wasn't God. What took place was nothing more than a tragic accident. Say it."
"Michonne…"
"Say it!"
"What took place was nothing more than a tragic accident."
"And don't ever forget it!"
Maggie pressed her palm against the empty side of the bed, fingers gripping the sheets tightly, yearning for the warmth of a body that would never return.
"Oh, Chonne. You know, each morning, I'd stare at my coffee cup, till the steam was gone. It reminded me of conversations that we'd never have again."
"But you had them, Mag's. Some people never get that. No matter how it ended, you had something special. Maybe what I'm saying is insensitive, but I believe with my whole heart that to have had it at all is a blessing. He gave you Herschel and Hana; that's got to count as something, right?" They both laughed through the crying going on between them.
"Yeah! Yeah!"
"I know it'll be hard, but you got a strong fucking backcourt that will do anything for you, I promise that! I will always be there for you, as will Rick and everyone else."
"You're my best friend!"
"And you are mine!"
Author's note
Hey everybody, I've been gone a month! I was sick for about two weeks, so I took a break, only writing here and there but I gave a longer chapter as a piece offering. I should be back consistently now. But I do have a question. I wanted to know if you all would prefer 2000-3000 word chapters weekly or 5000-7000 word chapters every two weeks. This story, unlike One and Only, has just a handful of chapters left. How many chapters depend on the length of the chapters?
I would also love to hear your thoughts on the Maggie situation as well as those of our main couple. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
