[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene shows a Namekian village with a large group of villager outside)

NAMEKIAN VILLAGER #1: And that's the story of the great drought. (children laugh)

"Okay, yeah, the drought, I've been meaning to ask what's up with that." Puria brought up her confusion, "You didn't cause it?" Shiva Samba asked, "Never even heard of it." Puria clarified, "That's really weird, you should know everything about that." Oracle pointed out, "I know right? Only some powerful magic could interfere with that." Puria explained.

(Vegeta is seen landing in the middle of the village)

"Hey corpses!" Nezumi exclaimed, "Oh no." Pandora let out with a frown, "Come on, I'm sure he won't kill them." Shanti reassured, "Yeah... His track record goes against that." Shion shot down to avoid Shanti bringing her hopes up for disappointment.

NAMEKIAN VILLAGER #2: Hey look, a visitor!

NAMEKIAN VILLAGER #3: Oh, boy! We love visitors!

"This can only go well!" Fardie smiled, "By your definition of well or everyone elses?" Paint asked for clarification, "Mine." Fardie replied, "Checks out." Paint turned back to the screen.

NAMEKIAN ELDER: Now, now, don't crowd the young man. (Takama: Yeah, you should be dogpiling him./ Avaritia: That wouldn't do anything./ Takama: At least they're not sitting ducks if they do.) Why, hello, good fellow! Welcome to our fine village! You look like you're not from around here. (Anomaly: No really? I thought all Namekians had spiked hair and want to kill everything is sight.) You have to be careful; word through the grapevine has it that some unruly characters have been going around and attacking our villages. (Nightmare King: Honestly I didn't know what to expect./ Jo'on: I know some people who would be really disappointed by this./ Shakara: Like that Yuuma you mentioned?/ Jo'on: Yeah.) By the way, would you like to see our Dragon Ball? (Dreamiv: NO SH*T!/ Thinner: He might actually be braindead!) It's our prized possession; sacred on this planet. So, what brings you to our village?

"The burning desire to kill all of you, which for some reason I got too now." Starrow as well as she could, "Trust me, you're not the only one." Liria reassured.

(Vegeta is seen smirking)

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to Vegeta walking away from a destroyed village, showing many deceased Namekians on the ground and the sound of a fire burning off-screen along with the voice of a Namekian screaming in pain)

"I don't even feel sorry." Shanti commented, "Yeah, they deserve everything that happened to them." Nezumi agreed.

VEGETA: Life sure has a way of working itself out. I find Cui, I kill Cui. I find Dodoria, I kill Dodoria. I find this Dragon Ball, (throws the Dragon Ball into a lake) I take this Dragon Ball. (Lemus: I have to agree, when things go your way things are awesome./ Jo'on: Like you wouldn't believe.) Let's see what else I can find... (leaves the destroyed Namekian village)

(scene shifts to Krillin)

KRILLIN: Sweet crap! Did you feel that Gohan?!

"Isn't Dende with them?" Tauira asked and was met with Takama's blank reply "He is."

GOHAN: Uh yeah, but... maybe we shouldn't-

KRILLIN: Man, Vegeta just ended that village!

"Listen to the child for once in your useless life..." Shakara requested.

GOHAN: Krillin, seriously, you-

KRILLIN: I didn't think he needed to kill them either; they didn't even put up a fight.

"This joke is pretty nuance." Hatsu complimented, "Not commonly used I'm guessing." Anomaly summarized.

GOHAN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What? I- (looks behind himself and notices Dende who is completely shocked)(Tauira: Yeah! That would be the reaction!) Oh, cripes. Um... Hey, listen. They may be dead now, but they've all gone to a better place... Heaven. (Shakara: No, they go wherever the Heralds of Punishment tell them to./ Shiva Samba: Honestly the afterlife became quite a mess after the merging, there's five different judges now...) Where everyone has their own little house, and everything is wonderful, and we all get along and there's puppies and kitties and-

"What did he smoke? I want some." Takama requested, "I don't think even you can take it." Virus shot down.

DENDE: This sounds totally asinine.

KRILLIN: It totally is...

"At least he sees through the bullsh*t." Zettai pointed out the positives.

GOHAN: Hey guys, I think I might have an idea. (Nightmare King: This should be good./ Fardie: Can he come up with a smart plan?) Frieza and Vegeta need all seven Dragon Balls, right? So what if we just found one and hid it away? Then neither of them could make their wish.

Fardie raised an eyebrow actually impressed "Okay, not too shabby." She complimented, "Once in a Blue Moon." Thinner stated, "What do I have to do with this?" Shanti questioned, "I heard some humans say it, it doesn't make sense, but it felt like it fit here." Thinner explained.

KRILLIN: Hey, good idea! But we also need someone who can help us out. Little Green...

DENDE: Dende.

KRILLIN: ...do you know anyone on this planet who might be able to do that?

DENDE: I know of one... person. He is called the leader of our people; the eldest Namek. (Puria: Maybe he was the interference./ Shiva Samba: That makes sense.) It is said long ago when our planet faced a great drought, he led our people through the peril. It is said that it was terrifying.

GOHAN: The drought?

"For people who survive primarily on water it would be scary." Miriada rationalized.

DENDE: No...

Miriada blinked at this, "What was then?" She asked.

KRILLIN: Well, Gohan, looks like this is our only choice. Stay here and protect Bulma.

BULMA: Oh, now you care.

"Why would anyone bother?" Dramiv asked, "Will she do anything here?" Virus questioned, "Probably not." Hatsu replied.

KRILLIN: I'm gonna follow Little Green to meet this eldest Namek guy. He sounds like he's our last hope. (flies away with Dende)

DENDE: Please do not make jokes.

"That was a joke?" Nightmare King asked, "I dont get it either." Jo'on said.

(scene shifts to Zarbon flying through the sky)

"Where the hell is he going?" Lemus questioned, "Hunting for Vegeta probably." Takama replied.

ZARBON: Frieza seems increasingly frustrated... I'd best find Vegeta quickly...

"And I was right." Takama smirked.

(flashback to Zarbon's last conversation with Frieza)

FRIEZA: You know, Zarbon, I'm starting to think my people don't understand what I pay them for.

"Pay sounds like a stretch." Oracle stated.

ZARBON: You don't pay us.

FRIEZA: (stammers quickly) Allow them to LIVE for. (Oracle: There it is.) I mean, first we lose... what was his name?

ZARBON: Kiwi?

"They got it wrong." Nightmare King pointed out, "We shouldn't really care about that." Hatsu told him.

FRIEZA: Eh, Kiwi. Then we lose all of our scouters, and now Dodoria's dead? (Fardie: This has been a really bad day for him.) I'm sorry, but if this sh*t goes any further south, we're going to hit Space Mexico.

"Is the space joke going to die too?" Nezumi asked hopeful, "I read somewhere that they start to die out near the end of the saga." Hatsu informed, "Good." Nezumi smiled.

ZARBON: What would you want me to do, Lord Frieza?

FRIEZA: What I want you to do is pull up your frilly stockings, tighten your thong, and stop being such a...

(flashback ends abruptly)

VEGETA: (rushes at Zarbon) PANSY!

"Alright! Nice!" Hatsu clapped, "That's quite the description for Zarbon." Virus commented, "The correct description." Shion added.

ZARBON: Wha-? (both he and Vegeta collide in midair) Vegeta, how dare you ram into me while I'm thinking about Lord Frieza and my thong!

"I-He-Wha-Why?" Starrow stuttered, "He literally told us everything he was thinking!" Anomaly exclaimed clearly wanting to forget hearing it.

VEGETA: Yeah, just going to ignore that one entirely.

"Yeah let's do that." Anomaly agreed with Vegeta.

ZARBON: But it is a good thing I found you, Vegeta. Now are you going to come quietly, or do I have to make you scream?

"I don't want to hear him say that." Jo'on stated.

VEGETA: Oh, you mean like Dodoria?

ZARBON: Oh, please, never send a woman to do a man's job.

"So he DID know! Did Freeza?" Avaritia questioned, "I guess we'll never know." Lemus said whimsically.

(Vegeta disappears and reappears behind Zarbon. Zarbon tries to throw a punch at Vegeta, but he easily blocks it by gripping his hand and tosses Zarbon into the sky. Before Zarbon can retaliate, Vegeta appears above him and sends him down to the ground with a kick. Zarbon manages to recover from the attack and notices that Vegeta is gone.)

"Much better at fighting than the first time we saw him." Shakara complimented, "How bad was he!?" Puria exclaimed in shock.

ZARBON: Where is he?

(Vegeta is seen behind Zarbon and kicks him away. Zarbon is heard groaning as he is sent across the ground)

VEGETA: Facedown with another man beating your ass! Is it Wednesday already, Zarbon?

"Why is he liking men a joke? It's not even funny!" Jo'on lamented, "The joke is that he's over the top." Hatsu explained.

ZARBON: Very cute, Vegeta. But you have no idea what you're getting into.

VEGETA: Ha! You have got to be kidding me! I may have lost to those fools on Earth, but since I got here, I've done nothing but slaughter you cretins! First Cui, then Dodoria. I'm two for three, and I'm back on top.

"And that's the cue that he's going to get pummeled." Liria facepalmed, "Gleam would be so disappointed." Pandora shook her head.

ZARBON: Well, Vegeta, I hope you've enjoyed being on top because I'm about to put you back on the bottom; where you belong. You see, I've been hiding another side of myself...

VEGETA: Where, in the closet?

"It lost it's kick after the fifth joke..." Nightmare King frowned, "It had a kick?" Dreamiv asked.

ZARBON: Now prepare yourself...for the beast within! I should warn you though; this form is entirely different from me in every way.

(Zarbon transforms into his Monstrous form)

Cue the unintelligible noise of disgusted voiced and also some gagging.

MONSTROUS ZARBON: IMMA RAPE YA, BITCH!

"He even sounds horrible!" Most of them lamented.

VEGETA: To be perfectly honest, you're not that different. You're just a lot less SUBTLEABOUTIT- (Monstrous Zarbon rushes Vegeta, with a train horn sound effect) OH, MY GOD!

(Monstrous Zarbon easily dominates against Vegeta and proceeds to headbutt him multiple times)

VEGETA: (while getting headbutted multiple times) POIT! Zort-! Apples...

"Getting everything he planted." Takama stated.

(scene shifts to Krillin, while holding Dende, flying in the sky)

KRILLIN: Huh. Hey, Little Green, do you believe in Karma?

"Everything. He. Planted." Takama stated more firmly.

DENDE: What is that?

KRILLIN: Well, you see, Karma is where if you do something good...

(shows a shot of Monstrous Zarbon kicking Vegeta in the stomach)

"I don't think he even knows." Tauira tilted her head.

VEGETA: OURGH!

KRILLIN: ...something good happens to you. And if you do something bad...

(shows a shot of Monstrous Zarbon knocking Vegeta down from the sky)

VEGETA: GAAAH!

KRILLIN: ...something bad happens to you.

DENDE: So, if I am good enough, then I can have my family back?

"They'll probably be back with the Dragon Balls." Shion reassured.

KRILLIN: ...Are you still on about that?

"...Yes, he is." Nightmare King strained, "Why is Krillin such a b*tch now?" Avaritia asked.

(scene shifts to Monstrous Zarbon holding Vegeta while plummeting towards the ground)

VEGETA: No! No! No! No! No! (Zarbon tosses Vegeta while in midair) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Vegeta hits the ground, creating a massive explosion forming a huge crater that gets filled with water)

"Do you think that deflated his ego?" Zettai asked, "Did getting beat up deflate yours?" Virus asked back, "Screw you." Zettai replied, "I rest my case." Virus finished.

MONSTROUS ZARBON: And that's the end of that.

(Monstrous Zarbon transforms back to his normal, beautiful form)

"What about the Dragon Ball?" Fardie questioned, "What about it?" Virus asked, "Think about it, Vegeta found a Dragon Ball and hid it underwater." Fardie explained trying to give the clue, "I don't follow." Virus repeated, "Frieza is going to murder Zarbon." Shakara summarized.

ZARBON: I'd best hurry back to Lord Frieza. If I take too long, he'll really lay into me. (flies away back to Frieza's ship)

(a battle-damaged Vegeta is seen emerging from the water, barely surviving Zarbon's attack)

VEGETA: (while gasping for breath) Why did I explode?

"...Why did he explode?" Takama asked as well, "Now that you point that out, Vegeta's terminal velocity isn't high enough to do that." Oracle agreed, "Let's just sum it up to comedic flare." Hatsu suggested and the other two agreed.

(scene shifts to Krillin and Dende arriving at Guru's house)

DENDE: That is it up ahead.

"Simple and... Not at all functional unless you can fly." Starrow commented, "Or burrow or climb." Dreamiv added.

KRILLIN: So that's where yours lives, huh? On Earth our old Namek lives in a floating castle.

"That's even less functional." Nightmare King pointed out, "Wasn't it connected to the ground with that red rod thingy?" Nezumi remembered, "If that thing was holding up the entire thing I want it as a weapon." Jo'on said.

DENDE: You have one as well?

KRILLIN: Well, he died, but yeah. (Miriada: Why did you say it!?/ Tauira: To give Dende a incredible sense of dread, duh.) (both Dende and Krillin descend in front of Guru's house)

DENDE: This does not bode well.

NAIL: (in Namekian/Klingon) Dende... ...what have you brought to Guru's house?

"Guy that looks exactly like Piccolo." Shion said with a blank expression, "Is it important, or just lazy design?' Hatsu wondered.

DENDE: (in Namekian/Klingon) Foreigners. They claim they are here to help. Personally, I think we are boned.

cue the laughter, "At least he knows that!" Puria eclaimed between laughs.

KRILLIN: You have such a beautiful language.

NAIL: (in Namekian/Klingon) Ah, seems we must speak the universal language... (in English) English.

"En... English...? That's what they call it?" Thinner wondered, "This world is the only one where it has a different name." Shiva Samba explained, "Why?" Anomaly asked, "Because apparently a human's brain makeup can only vary so much." Shiva Samba clarified.

KRILLIN: Aww, so you made a friend, Little Green? Ooh, I know, I'm gonna call you "Big Green"!

NAIL: Call me that again and I'll snap your neck.

"I know another green guy who wants to do that." Paint commented, "Is it Dende?" Liria asked, "Yes it's Dende." Paint frowned at her obliviousness.

KRILLIN: ...With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.

NAIL: Listen, I don't care where you come from or who you are, I will not put up with such disrespe-

GURU: (from inside his house) BIG GREEEEN! (Dreamiv: So much for being the wisest./ Nightmare King: I don't think Dende said that.) Get in here...

NAIL: (irritated) Oh... (groans) goddammit... What is it, Lord Guru?

"WHAT THE FU- I THOUGHT THEY ONLY DRANK WATER!?" Miriada lamented loudly, "THEY DO!" Puria lameted equally as loud.

GURU: I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee- (notices Krillin) Nail, there is an albino Namekian standing behind you. (Anomaly: Albino?/ Virus: That's not a thing-) Kill it like the rest.

"-Anymore, it's not a thing anymore." Virus continued with a disappointed look.

KRILLIN: Uh, actually, sir, I'm from Earth.

GURU: ...Kill it like the rest.

"Okay, yeah, sure, why not?" Jo'on questioned, "It's just racist at this point." Shion tiled her head as she said that.

KRILLIN: Uhhh...

NAIL: Ehh, actually sir, I think he has business here about those people attacking our planet.

KRILLIN: Yeah. We came here looking for help. (Zettai: They're out of options.) And I see you have a Dragon Ball up there. Well, we're going to make sure that they don't steal it!

GURU: And how is that?

KRILLIN: I'm gonna take it!

"And he puts a massive target on himself." Fardie summarized, "Genius, I know." Lemus said sarcastially.

NAIL: Learn your place, Earthling! You have some nerve demanding a Dragon Ball from-

GURU: (hands Krillin the Dragon Ball) Here, take it.

"...I don't know if I'm surprised, disappointed, absolutely appaled, or all of the above." Avaritia said.

NAIL: I... What?

GURU: Just don't steal the TV.

NAIL: Sir, we, uhh, we don't have a television.

"They have spaceships..." Virus state trying to make a point.

GURU: Nail... gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.

At this point everyone was just speechless at the sheer stupidity.

NAIL: Lord Guru, that would be a grievous misuse of their powers.

GURU: I'm about to misuse my hand upside your heaaaaaad!

"Can he even move? Like, at all?" Starrow asked no one in particular and no one replied.

KRILLIN: So... I can just take this and go?

GURU: Wait. There is something I must first do.

NAIL: You don't mean...

GURU: Yes. I see something within this young man… strength yet untapped… power yet unleashed… Now hold still as I unleash the valley of strength hidden deep withiiiiin! (unlocks Krillin's hidden potential) There. I have unlocked your potential.

"So he's stronger now?" Nezumi asked.

KRILLIN: I don't feel that different...

GURU: It wasn't that much.

"Great." Nezumi smiled, "I said it before, I'll say it again, he's a punching bag." Dreamiv repeated.

KRILLIN: Huh. So this is my full potential?

GURU: Yes.

KRILLIN: So... then it's...

GURU: All downhill from here.

KRILLIN-Everyone: Like Yamcha...

GURU: I do not know what this "Yamcha" is, but it sounds disappointing.

KRILLIN: Well, I better get this Dragon Ball back to Gohan. Once we find them all, we can wish back our old Namekian!

GURU: Wait. You said that you were from Earth, correct?

KRILLIN: Yeah.

GURU: So, the son of Katas has passed. Unfortunate.

"He cares?" Shanti eyes widened in surprise.

KRILLIN: We just called him Kami.

GURU: Oh, so he calls himself God. Pretentious prick. (Shanti: That makes more sense.) Nail.

NAIL: What.

GURU: I shall henceforth be known as: Super Kami.

"He is dead right?" Shiva Samba asked, "He is." Shakara confirmed, "Good." Shiva Samba said.

NAIL: Yes, Super Kami.

GURU: No wait- Super Kami Guru.

NAIL: Can I just call you Guru for short?

GURU: Super Kami Guru allows this.

KRILLIN: Well, I'd better hurry up. See you later, Little Green! And thanks for the Dragon Ball! (leaves Guru's house and flies back to Gohan)

GURU: Nail... Prepare to retrieve the Dragon Ball... and the body.

"OH! He does NOT have faith!" Tauira realized.

(scene shifts to Frieza's ship with Zarbon entering Frieza's room)

ZARBON: Lord Frieza, the dirty deed has been done.

FRIEZA: Ah, very good. It's nice to see there's still somebody I can rely on.

ZARBON: Oh, he barely put up a fight after I transformed. Now that he's dead we have very little left to worry about.

"But do they know about the Dragon Ball?" Fardie brought up again.

FRIEZA: (opens his mouth) Zarbon, about an hour ago, a scout informed me that an entire village was completely destroyed. (Hatsu: Perfect comedy.) Do you possibly know who could have done that?

ZARBON: Ve- Vegeta.

"I think he's catching on." Nightmare King commented.

FRIEZA: Aaaand, unlike all the other villages we visited so far, there was no Dragon Ball there. Do you know who could have possibly taken it?

ZARBON: Vegeta.

"Does he see what's wrong yet?" Starrow wondered.

FRIEZA: Veeeery good! Now, use your brain for this one, Zarbon. (Zettai: Your very smooth and useless brain, but brain still.) If somebody were to know where that Dragon Ball was, who would it be?

ZARBON: Vegeta-

FRIEZA: Vegeta, yes. And you said you... killed him?

"He's so pissed I can see smoke coming from the screen!" Thinner smiled.

ZARBON: Wait, sir! It is possible I just left him unconscious!

FRIEZA: Oh, good. And where did you leave him?

ZARBON: ...At the bottom of a lake...

"He came out though." Tauira pointed out, "And Neither Zarbon nor Frieza know that." Liria informed.

FRIEZA: ...Minion forty-three, would you come in here for a second? I need an example.

NAMOLE: Private Namole reporting. An example of what, Lord Friez- (gets blown into atoms) AAAAAAAHHHAAAH!

"I think that was the cue for 'run as fast as you can and get him'." Nightmare King broke down.

FRIEZA: You see that, Zarbon? That's YOU if Vegeta is not in front of me in the next TEN MINUTES.

ZARBON: Uh...uuuhhh...!

FREEZA: Bye.

ZARBON: (flies out of Frieza's ship) AAAAAAAHHHH!

"I wonder if he'll actually make it." Fardie thought outloud.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: I have to say I'm very impressed. All of you have been making great strides in your training since you arrived on my planet. Except for Yamcha.

YAMCHA: What the hell?! But I waxed off everything! I waxed off your car, I waxed off your house, I even waxed off your monkey!

"He still didn't relize he's using him as free labor?" Dreamiv's eyes widened.

PICCOLO: Okay, I just started paying attention, WHAT?!

"Also that, waxed his WHAT!?" Dreamiv exclaimed, "Disgusting, that's what." Hatsu grimaced in disgust.

YAMCHA: Seriously, when are we going to learn the Kayo-ken?

Shakara's eye started twitching "Is this what having a stroke feels like?" she asked, "I'm not sure." Paint replied.

KING KAI: ...What?

YAMCHA: The Kayo-ken, King Kai!

KING KAI: "Kai"... o-ken.

"Yeah, that's better." Shakara commented.

YAMCHA: What?

KING KAI: KAIO-KEN! It's in my f*king name! Like "King Kai", as in "Kaio-sama"! (Nezumi: It is! Why did he think it was Kayo!?/ Oracle: Cause language be damned!) That is it! None of you are learning any of my techniques! Neither the Kaio-ken nor the Genki Dama!

"And that's how they sit in useless!" Puria stated.

TIEN: ...Freaking weeaboo...

"That was something." Tauira commented, "More boring than the rest to be honest." Virus critiqued, "Let's if the next fxes that." Hatsu said as she put on the next episode.