Part XVI: The Pain of Heartbreak

May had been thrilled when Delia Ketchum had called her in Petalburg City to invite her and her family to Pallet Town for Ash's surprise birthday party. She had instantly said yes and that she would be there in a week for it once Max was able to get home as he was currently in Dewford Town challenging the gym there and would take at least 4 days to get home.

The siblings would come and be there on the day of the party, May had promised Delia that. However, their parents couldn't make it as Norman had gym duties to deal with and her mother had was needed at home. In honesty, May felt that it was for the best as her parents didn't know Ash the way she and Max did.

For May personally though, it had been as if the stars had aligned and fate had smiled upon her. She had been as giddy as a schoolgirl to go to Pallet Town and see Ash again and the timing had been perfect. Arceus had blessed her, she was sure of it. Everything had gone right so far, there was no way that it could be ruined.

May had recently finally achieved her dream when she had won the latest Sinnoh Grand Festival and earned the title of Top Coordinator. As a result, the Contest Committee had selected her to be one of the handful of recent Ribbon Cup winners from the past 5 years to be part of the Contest expansion effort to the regions of Unova, Kalos, Alola, and Galar.

May had been asked where she wanted to go and spend a year there helping promote Contests and the choice to be a coordinator. May had chosen to go to Kalos after a little research on the regions.

The goal of their mission was to have a transition year where a few Top Coordinators from the last 5 years in the 4 regions with Contests would go the untapped regions and work to set up a Contest circuit there and a Grand Festival. Then after the year was over, the first Contest season in the regions would kick off under their supervision so that it went smoothly. It was a prestigious honor and May was looking forward to it.

However, that had not been the only reason she had chosen that specific region. Kalos, like all regions except Alola, had a Pokémon League that you needed 8 gym badges to qualify for. It was also a region that she knew that a certain raven-haired trainer had never been to before thus adding to its appeal.

May's plan had been simple. Come to Pallet Town for Ash's birthday and when she had the moment to ask him to come with her to Kalos. It was perfect as she had to be there and Ash could once again do what he loved the most, meet new Pokémon, defeat gyms, and try to win a Pokémon League. Of course, there had been an ulterior motive behind May's decision, one she admitted was the main reason why she wanted Ash to join her; her massive crush on him.

Long ago May had realized that she liked Ash as more than a friend. It had happened early on back when they were traveling together. Ash's complete obliviousness had dampened it and almost extinguished her crush but this was Ash. It was after one particular adventure they had in which Ash was, well, Ash that May knew her feelings for him were true. She also knew that they might not come to fruition even if they would never truly leave her.

This was made evident after her loss in the Kanto Grand Festival semifinal and the despondence she felt in the wake of it. She realized that her affection for Ash had had some negative ramifications for her own growth as a trainer. It was a hard truth to realize but one she had to come to terms with.

Ash had been the one who had shown her the beauty of Pokémon and joys being a trainer. He had been her mentor and role model during their travels in Hoenn and Kanto. As such, May had tried to emulate him given Ash's proven skills. That emulation had included Ash's battle style and that had been easily picked apart by Solidad in the Grand Festival. May had become predictable because of it and it had stunted her growth as a coordinator because Ash wasn't one and she could win with his style alone.

After some soul searching and with help from Drew and of all people Harley, May had realized what she needed to do. She needed to leave Ash, at least temporarily, and travel alone so as to grow as a person and coordinator. May needed to find her own style, her own way of doing things, and she felt that Johto was the place for it. The fact that Ash had supported her choice had made it clear that it was the right one.

May also needed to travel on her own in order to get over Ash. It was clear that he wouldn't reciprocate her feelings, or even notice them, and she had to move on. It had helped that there was someone in Johto with her who was into her that she had to admit she had a small crush on as well. He was as good as any to move on with.

It had begun shortly after May returned from her trip to Sinnoh that she had decided to start date him. It hadn't ended well and they hadn't spoken or seen each other since. When Delia had invited her, May had made clear that he was not to be invited to Ash's party when asked where he was but that was immaterial to the current situation.

That breakup had been after May had lost in the Johto Grand Festival Final and May had gone to Sinnoh to compete after that loss and to challenge the last Contest circuit. She had hoped to win the Ribbon Cup in Sinnoh and needed to break from those she already knew in the Contest world.

However, May had also wanted to compete in the Wallace Cup, which had been in Johto that year, and had decided to go back for it. It had been that event that had triggered the reemergence of her long dormant feelings for Ash. In particular it had been her friend and rival coordinator Misty who had managed to trigger them after they met up at the Wallace Cup.

Misty and she had naturally caught up at the festival, helped by the fact that they shared a room, and had a great time together. They had a lot in common being coordinators and traveling companions of Ash and Brock so they had plenty to bond over. The first time they had met it had been with the guys so May hadn't really gotten to know Misty well, this allowed them to become good friends.

It also helped that Misty had also just seen Ash in Unova so they easily talked about him. It was as they were talking about Ash, in particular how Misty was talking about him, that May realized they had another thing in common. They both had crushes on Ash.

Misty's clear crush on Ash had awakened May's one again and it had come back with a vengeance as if pissed that May had forgotten about it. Their rematch in the final against Misty had almost been about Ash though Misty didn't know of May's feelings for Ash as her own feelings had blinded Misty to May's.

It had been May's distraction at the situation that had allowed Misty to easily beat her this time. Then when Misty praised and gushed over Ash in her interview, without mentioning him, and thanking him for all the help he had given her that May knew that her own feelings for Ash were back and this time they wouldn't go away. May used the same motivation that Misty was using, making Ash proud, to win her 5th ribbon in Sinnoh and then the Grand Festival and she did it all because of Ash.

Now May was going to see Ash again and finally have to chance to spend time with her crush. She was going to use the trip to Kalos, the one she knew he would accept because of who Ash was, to finally find the courage to tell him how she felt while they were in the region.

At least that had been the intention until all her dreams came crashing down in front of her eyes. What May saw made her feel like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and torn in two and again it was because of one person. Misty.

May hadn't seen Misty when she arrived but given the fact that there was a Buneary on the ranch and chasing a very familiar Pikachu told May that Misty was here. She hadn't bothered asking where Misty was as her and Max had arrived just in time. May didn't think of it, Misty was as close to Ash as she was so it was only natural for her to be here and they could catch up after Ash arrived.

All of this had been the plan until May finally saw Misty, walking out of the lab and holding Ash's hand. That had been the moment when May's heart had begun to sink. That was not normal behavior for Ash or Misty and instantly her mind had gone to the worst possible scenario.

May had still hoped that she had been seeing things as they approached. Surely it had been to lead Ash here though why Misty and not someone like Dawn or Brock eluded May. They had let go of each other's hand when Ash had been floored by the surprise and May joined in the cheers for him because that was who she was her for and she would always cheer for Ash. Then all her remaining hopes died in one single act.

Misty had chosen that moment, in front of everyone present, to kiss Ash. Not a kiss on the cheek as May might expect but a full kiss on his lips. Ash had pulled Misty in at once showing that he was reciprocating it and that this was not the first time they had kissed.

It was clear that they were a couple. May had to force her misery, anger and jealousy down at the sight and cheer with everyone else, a look of false happiness plastered on her face at the display of affection before her. Judging by the shattering glass and cursing behind her there was at least one other person who had a crush on Ash present and who was not as well controlled as May.

"Hurts, doesn't it." A soft voice said from behind May that made her jump at the sound. "Seeing him with another woman and not you. That is the pain of heartbreak at the moment it occurs."

May just turned in silence and saw Dawn of all people standing there looking at her with a sad smile on her face and her eyes swimming slightly. It wasn't what May was expecting at all and the fact that Dawn had somehow seen through May's charade got to her as well.

"You, you know?" May asked in a whisper as the cheers continued. "About how I feel?"

"I do." Dawn said with a nod. "Come on May, let's take a walk. You look like you could use it and I know you don't want to let your feelings of heartache ruin this night for Ash."

"Yeah, ok." May agreed, Dawn was right and May needed a clear head to face Ash and Misty. "I could do with some time away from this."

Quietly, while no one was looking as they were too distracted by the fact that Ash Ketchum had somehow managed to get a girlfriend, while those who knew Misty were surprised that it was her, Dawn took May's arm and led her away. Without speaking, Dawn led May deep into the ranch. The light was fading as the sun slowly set and May didn't talk, just let Dawn lead them to wherever she wanted to go.

After about 5 minutes they came to a small, calm, pond with a series of reeds in it. An odd, armless, blue Pokémon with lighter blue bulbous things on it and a cream colored belly that May and Dawn had never seen before floated lazily on its back, dozing in the water. Dawn thought the Pokémon was beautiful and really wanted to swim out to it and introduce herself but she knew she had to deal with May first.

As such neither paid attention to it as Dawn steered May to the edge of the pond and sat down a small log that had likely been placed there. Dawn had been carrying her Azurill this entire time but she gently placed the Pokémon in the shallow water and let it float peacefully there, enjoying the calm evening and still water as much as the other Pokémon was.

Kicking her shoes off and putting them on the log, Dawn put her feet in the water and patted the spot next to her. May didn't need to be told twice. She sat down and drew her knees into her chest and held them there with her arms as she looking out over the water, tears in her eyes.

"Do you have any water Pokémon?" Dawn asked after a moment. "If I recall correctly you had a Squirtle back when I last saw you."

"Yeah but he's now a Wartortle." May mumbled. "Why?"

"Let him out and have him play in the water quietly." Dawn replied. "This way, if someone asks where we disappeared off too you can tell them that you needed my help with a move or something regarding Wartortle. No one will question that and that way you won't have to explain the real reason why we left."

"Good thinking." May said before pulling out a Poke Ball and letting Wartortle out.

"War?" The Turtle Pokémon asked a little confused but instantly recognizing the familiar place and smiling.

"Play in the pond for a bit Wartortle." May said to it. "Have fun but be quiet if possible, there are other Pokémon around. I need a moment away from everyone that's all."

"Wartortle." Wartortle said nodding in understanding and getting into the water happily, careful not to disturb the odd Pokémon still sleeping in the water.

"This is my favorite part of the ranch." Dawn said with a smile looking out over the water. "I often come here to think and relax, especially when I need a break from the gym and my sisters. It is so peaceful here and the water Pokémon love it so it is perfect for me."

"Dawn?" May asked and the dark haired girl looked at her. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Because you need to let it out." Dawn said simply looking over at May still with a sad look in her eyes. "I saw how Ash and Misty being an item affected you and knew at once that you needed to be away to prepare yourself to face them. This is a special day for Ash, we shouldn't ruin it for him just because Misty beat us. You will feel better, trust me."

May wanted to ask Dawn how she knew that May liked Ash. She also needed to know why Dawn was helping her all of a sudden but she couldn't, not yet at least. Dawn was right and May just had to let it out. before she knew it, the tears were flowing freely and May started wracking in quiet sobs as she lowered her head to rest on her arms and knees.

"There, there." Dawn said kindly, putting an arm around May and pulling her close. "Let it all out. This is better than at the party and you will feel a lot better afterwards. Just release everything."

May felt her head fall against Dawn's shoulder as she let her legs fall to the ground and she just kept crying. May released all the emotions and pain she had been holding in since the moment she saw Misty holding Ash's hand and knew that she had lost him as Dawn just held her close.

May had never told Ash how she felt and now he was with someone else and she only had herself to blame for it. It was clear that Ash liked Misty back, they were a couple after all, and that had been the nail in her heart.

May didn't know how long she cried for but finally they started to subside as if there weren't any more tears to shed. With a deep breath, May pulled away from Dawn and wiped her eyes as best she could, at least she hadn't gotten a runny nose. She didn't feel better but she at least didn't feel like crying anymore, that was a start but May didn't know how long it would last for.

"Here, let me." Dawn said taking her bag off, opening it and pulling out facial wipes.

"Wha?" May asked.

"Your eyes, don't want them to be all puffy." Dawn said as she gently took May's chin in her left hand and began to wipe.

May just sat there a little dumbfounded as Dawn gently wiped away the tears and traces of it. It took a few moments but when it was done Dawn nodded.

"I suggest splashing your face with water before we leave." Dawn said as she put away the wipes. "It will help."

"Thanks Dawn, for everything." May said before looking at the tear stains on Dawn's shirt and adding. "Sorry about your shirt."

"Don't apologize for letting your feelings out after what just happened." Dawn said dismissively. "And I can easily rectify this before we return, I am a water specialist so I can easily get wet and play it off with ease."

"I still don't get it." May said as she sat back up and pulled her knees to her chest again. "How did you know that I was faking it back there? I thought I was being convincing after the shock of what happened."

"I saw it in your eyes." Dawn said simply. "And I came straight to you."

"Huh?" May asked confused. "Why weren't you looking at Ash? You are one of his closest friends after all, surely you'd want to see him."

"I do but I didn't because I knew that Misty would kiss him and I didn't want to see it." Dawn said sadly. "Not again at least. I turned to the look over the crowd to see who would be affected by Misty's display of dominance over the women present. I knew Macy had liked Ash, hell even Ash knew about her and had rejected her which is saying something."

"Macy?" May asked confused. "I don't know here. I take it you met her before me."

"Yeah she cropped up a few times while we were in Johto." Dawn said in a tone that told May that Dawn did not like Macy. "She's a fire specialist who hates water Pokémon and had a blatant crush on Ash, there was no way we would ever get on. She was the one who broke a glass when she dropped it at the sight of Ash and Misty."

"Ah that was who broke it." May said remembering the sound. "I was wondering what that was. Was there anyone else?"

"I noticed another girl who must be from Sinnoh or Unova get upset and walk off to the side and call out a medium sized blue dog looking Pokémon to talk to." Dawn said after a slight pause. "I assumed that she was another one who had a crush on Ash. Then I saw you."

"And you chose to help me?" May asked still a little confused. "Why? I'm not complaining I just don't understand."

"Because you were clearly the most effected there and as a former companion of Ash's you will be more important tonight than the others." Dawn said simply. "And might cause more problems given your closeness to Ash and Misty. I had to intervein and help. It was the least I could do and I am really the only one who can."

"I am glad you did but I still don't get why." May admitted. "Why help me Dawn?"

"Other than the fact that we're old friends." Dawn said with a smile.

"Other than that." May said sheepishly. "I should have remembered that."

"You aren't really in a good state of mind right now May." Dawn said sympathetically. "Its understandable. But there is more to why I helped you."

"Care to elaborate." May said looking at Dawn but the other girl didn't meet her gaze, only looked up to the sky.

"Because I know how you feel." Dawn said after a few seconds. "I know the pain you are going through, the feeling like your heart has been ripped out and stamped on by a whole herd of Tauros one by one. I know that it will feel like it never heal again and that's probably right. I know all this because it is exactly the same way I am feeling right now, only I had the chance to at least know this was coming while you didn't. That and my reaction is usually violence and a lot of it while yours appears to be avoidance."

"Wait, does that mean?" May asked as realization hit her, she had never seen it before but then again May could be as dim as Ash when it came to this stuff. "Dawn do you…?"

"Yes, it does, it means that I am in love with Ash as well." Dawn said with a sad smile as a tear finally escaped and rolled down her cheek which took May by surprise.

Then Dawn chuckled. The sound was so odd and such a juxtaposition to what was going on that it startled May a little. Dawn didn't seem to notice as she continued to speak.

"You know, I do believe that that is the first time I have ever said those words allowed." Dawn said with a hint of amazement in her voice. "I've said them in my head before, many times in fact. I know in my heart that they are true and I confirmed as much to Misty the other week but before now I never gave voice to them, at least not to how deep my feelings are. I am in love with Ash Ketchum and there is nothing I can do about it."

"I, I didn't know." May said after giving Dawn a moment. "That you liked him like that, let alone loved him."

"And I didn't know you did." Dawn said wiping her cheek to clear the tear from it. "You hide it well, I do not but I guess you have only met me a few times and there were others things going on each time so you didn't see it."

"No, I didn't." May admitted. "And while I do admit I have a crush on Ash, I am not in love with him … yet."

"Keep telling yourself that, it's not true and we both know it." Dawn said shaking her head and giving a light laugh. "I was there myself once. I thought that I only had a crush on Ash. I was wrong. I know Misty was there as well and she too realized the truth. You may not realize it yet May but it is there, that is just how Ash works despite not knowing the effect he has on us. It will hit you and soon. It often takes seeing another girl all over Ash for you to realize it so I think you already know but can't admit it yet. That is just how it is if you spend time with Ash. Only Iris seems to have been immune to his unique charm."

"Ok there is a lot we are going to have to address." May said trying to understand exactly what Dawn had said. "Explain everything. How did you meet Misty? How did you yourself know you loved Ash? Everything."

"I will but first you need to let it all out and we are going to talk about it." Dawn said finally looking at May with a serious look in her eyes. "That will be the hardest part but it is the most needed part as well. Then, when you are done I will explain that I know or suspect. Trust me, this will help, a lot."

"Very well, I can see your point." May said seeing Dawn's logic. "Where to begin though? Where do you want me to start?"

"How about at the beginning." Dawn suggested. "When you first realized you that you liked Ash and then everything important in the development of your feelings from then until now. It will help to give voice to it all, trust me."

"Well it began early in my journey with Ash." May said thinking back on it with a sad but fond smile on her face. "Pikachu fried my bike and I used that as an excuse to travel with him."

"You too, Pikachu really does like to mark a new region with a fried girl's bike." Dawn said with a laugh. "He did the same to me and Misty. I guess it's his way of marking his territory."

"Yeah I was at the wrong place at the wrong time." May said with a chuckle of her own. "Or the right place at the right time if you want to see it like that."

"There are no such things as coincidence." Dawn said. "Ash once said that back when we went our separate ways and after everything I have been through I know that it is the truth. Go on."

"Yes, well I quickly got a crush on Ash." May said. "You know how he is and how it happens. Ash was just himself and I felt myself falling for him. Back then I just thought it was some young crush, my first, so I brushed it off. It helped that Ash has no clue when a girl likes him."

"Very true." Dawn said with a nod. "His obliviousness is frustrating and yet endearing at the same time. It was the same for me. Let me guess, there was one significant incident, almost certainly involving legendary Pokémon, that made you go 'oh shit I really like this dumbass kid?'"

"That is pretty accurate actually." May said looking confused at how Dawn had gotten the moment that May had realized her crush on Ash was more than a passing fancy. "I had thought the crush was gone by this point and I had already developed some feelings for a guy who I knew liked me and who wasn't Ash so there was that as well. But you are right, the moment I realized that my crush was still there and in deep was when we were returning a Maniphy to the Sea Temple."

"That sounds amazing." Dawn said her eyes sparkling at the idea of a Sea Temple. "Right up my alley."

"It was, it was a water trainers dream." May said and Dawn groaned in annoyance that she had missed it. "Anyway, the Manaphy had hatched in my arms and seen me first so it thought that I was its mother and therefore I had to take it back."

"Let me guess, it wasn't that easy." Dawn said.

"Not in the slightest." May said with a sigh. "It never is. There was a pirate after Manaphy and the Sea Crown located in the Sea Temple."

"Sounds about right." Dawn said with a nod. "And let me guess, something bad happened when you got there."

"Oh yes and Ash was with me of course." May said with a nod. "We had gotten to the Temple to return Manaphy when the pirate found us and started trying to take the Crown. It caused the Temple to flood and needed to be fixed to prevent it from being destroyed."

"What did Ash do?" Dawn asked. "What stupid, heroic and suicidal shit did he pull?"

"We needed to replace just one more piece of the Crown that had been washed away from where it was." May said as she recalled the event. "We found it and an air tube that the pirate had used to reach the Temple. So Ash in his infinite wisdom locked me, Manaphy and Pikachu in it and to replace the last piece to save the Temple from sinking, which it was doing rapidly."

"Oh Ash, what will we do with you." Dawn said shaking her head. "One day his luck will run out and I don't want to see that day."

"It was almost his day that day." May admitted shuddering at how close Ash came to death. "He almost drowned in the process but succeeded but thanks to Manaphy transmitting my feelings to Ash he found the energy to recover, make one last attempt to fix the Crown and save the Temple. It was in that moment that I realized that Ash was truly special to me."

"That is such an Ash thing to do." Dawn said with a smile. "For me it was when we ended up dealing with the Legendary Birds and Lugia during our Orange Islands adventure and Ash was named the chosen one. Of course, some hussy island princess was hitting on Ash hard and that only helped to make it clear to me that I was fully head over heels in love with him. I almost jumped off a cliff for him then, that was my wakeup call."

"I heard of that adventure." May said remembering Ash and Brock telling her the story once shortly before she met Dawn for the first time. "Though Ash didn't seem to notice your feelings."

"This is Ash, of course he didn't." Dawn said with a hint of bitterness. "He was also getting really big headed after being called the Chosen One which would have been a turn off had it not been for the aforementioned hussy muscling on my turf."

"Sounds like Ash." May said with a sad sigh. "He can be so clueless."

"Anyways, I can see where you fell for him, I mean truly fell for him." Dawn said getting back to the topic on hand. "But as I recall you left for Johto on your own, without Ash, that must have done something for you."

"It did." May said with a nod. "It helped me grow and develop into a fuller person, something I needed to do on my own. I became a complete coordinator with my own style thanks to my time in Johto. Dealing with stuff on my own and not relying on Ash helped me finish my personal journey. I also was able to move on and I got a boyfriend while there."

"That is better than me." Dawn said. "I have tried over the years, been on a few dates since I last saw Ash before he left for Sinnoh, but I just can't stick with them. No one can measure up to Ash and no one ever will in my opinion."

"In hindsight I know that to be true." May said sadly. "It wasn't the best idea I ever had but it was an experience I needed to go through in order to realize it. I consider it the last thing I needed to finish my own journey and unlock my true self if that makes sense."

"If you want to talk about it I can listen." Dawn said noting the tone in May's voice. "But if not then it is ok. I understand at least part of what you went through and I totally understand finding one's true self. I never thought about becoming a gym leader until I had to become one and then I realized that it was my calling, that it was what I needed."

"No, I need to get it off my chest just as I needed to let out my sorrow earlier." May said looking out over the water. "I need to truly move on from it and not let it weigh me down anymore. It wasn't until I saw Ash and Misty did I realize that this is still part of who I am and I need to cut it free once and for all."

"The go on, I am all ears." Dawn said kindly. "Who was this guy?"

"He is a coordinator who has been a rival of mine for years." May began with a deep breath as she recalled her disastrous relationship. "His name is Drew. Every time we met in a Contest he beat me. He was my goal. He was the one who was always above me. He was the one I could never beat."

"I see, I know the type." Dawn said with a nod. "Back when I was traveling with Ash that was his rival Gary and I heard that he had a similar experience with a dude called Paul in Sinnoh."

"That is a pretty good comparison." May agreed. "He was my main rival in the same way that Ash has his. Thing is, Drew knew I was good and saw me as a threat. Somehow that also led to him also seeing me in a romantic way."

"Yeah that can happen." Dawn said. "Battle can forge us in ways we don't expect, especially skilled opponents."

"Yeah but I didn't realize at first." May said. "I was still focused on Ash back then and getting frustrated at his oblivion to my feelings. It wasn't until after I beat Drew in the quarters of the Kanto Grand Festival, a blow to his fragile ego as he was the runner-up in Hoenn, that I learned that he liked me as more than a friend."

"Learning someone likes you can do strange things." Dawn said remembering a few of her own suitors in the past. "It can cause at least curiosity in you, sometimes that is."

"Oh, it did just that." May admitted. "It was nice because he saw me the way I wanted to be seen and he would do these cute romantic gestures like giving me flowers that I can't deny got to me. It was also Drew who suggested Johto and in hindsight he was probably why I went there. We didn't really date at first but it was clear there was chemistry between us whenever we met. After I got back from the Wallace Cup in Sinnoh, Drew finally asked me out on a date and I said yes."

"The Wallace Cup." Dawn said. "That is the most prestigious Contest outside the Grand Festivals, right?"

"Yup and I have lost in the finals of the last 2, both times to Misty." May said with a grimace that wasn't to do with the Contest losses. "The next one is actually going to be in my hometown of Petalburg City and I will be in it for that reason."

"And so will Misty." Dawn pointed out. "I may enter as well, if I can get the time off that is."

"You? No offense Dawn but you aren't a coordinator." May said a little confused by Dawn's sudden desire to compete in a Contest. "You're a gym leader and while that is not exclusive, from what I know of you, you have never shown an interest in Contests."

"True I am not a Contest creature, they aren't really my style." Dawn agreed. "But Wallace is considered the greatest water-type master in the world and with you and Misty in it, how can I not enter. Of course all of this is only if I can get the time off from the gym. Anyway, I interrupted, please continue. I take it things with Drew didn't work out."

"Not at all." May said darkly. "At first it was great. He was kind, sweet and made me feel special. He was my first boyfriend and it was just what I had expected. We even agreed not to compete in the same Contests to avoid problems in our relationship and there were enough Contests left for us to do this."

"But that didn't last." Dawn said.

"Nope." May said shaking her head.

"Why?" Dawn asked genuinely curious.

"As I said that Drew has a fragile ego and I wasn't joking." May said and Dawn nodded in remembrance at the earlier statement. "Well that ego is made of fine glass and it can crack easily when it is challenged."

"That can happen when someone has an ego like that." Dawn agreed. "Do you know why he has such a fragile ego?"

"I have a theory but I am pretty sure that I am right." May said. "While I was with Drew I learned that he seems to have a very delicate sense of masculinity. I think that is what led to his fragile ego."

"How so?" Dawn asked confused.

"Well I think it comes down to the nature of the Contest scene." May said thinking back on it. "It isn't the most manly thing to do, be a coordinator that is. Of the guys involved, a higher than average number are either gay, bi, experimenting, or whatever Harley is though the cross dressing was purely to fuck with me. Drew is straight but as a coordinator he is often not seen as such and that doesn't go over well with him. It's not a bad thing, there are different ways to express masculinity and this was Drew's, but it didn't go over well with him."

"I can see that." Dawn said with a sigh. "Some men can be very insecure. I see it in the gym often, especially when I beat them. Carry on May."

"Yes, well, it was while we were an item that I saw that side of Drew." May said. "It was almost as if I was trophy at times, a way to show that he was a man cos he had a girl on his arm. I knew he cared but at times I felt like a prop and nothing more. Then I got my 5th ribbon before him and that didn't help the situation."

"Not at all." Dawn agreed. "Based on how you have described him, that wouldn't do his ego any good. Not your fault at all."

"I know but it led to our first fight and he made me feel like it was." May said sadly. "I knew Drew had a little darkness in him, I had seen him be a little harsh in his training but he was really upset when I got the ribbon before him. It was as if I had personally wounded him or something. He won his next Contest but it was more of a gym battle then a Contest battle and it scared me a bit how brutal he was, going for a Battle Off rather than a points victory. From then on he was a different person."

"Was, was he abusive?" Dawn asked hesitantly. "I'm sorry but I have to ask."

"Not physically, he never laid a hand on me, but maybe mentally." May admitted after a pause. "Looking back in it he probably was but I didn't think of it as such back then. He belittled me a bit despite the fact that I was as good a coordinator as he was. He couldn't handle it that his girl was doing better than him and had more support from the fans. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but it didn't work and he just got worse. Then I mentioned Ash."

"Yeah judging by the sounds of him he would not like the mention of a potential rival." Dawn said. "Especially not someone as close to you as Ash."

"Not at all." May said. "I was frustrated at how he was pushing his Pokémon so I said that Ash was a better trainer who knew Pokémon in ways Drew couldn't even fathom. I praised Ash to high heaven, as he deserves, and that did not go over well. From there it was only a matter of time before something ended it."

"What did it?" Dawn asked. "What was the final straw."

"The Johto Grand Festival." May said feeling tears return to her eyes at the mention of it. "We met in the semis. It was a big deal as we were two of the best coordinators in the Festival. Drew had beaten Solidad in the quarters which he had never done before and he was now the heavy favorite to win. In addition, our other rival, and my unfriendly, one Harley had just won his semifinal and made it to the finals."

"I can see that being a hard battle." Dawn said. "What happened in the semis?"

"It was a brutal, ugly, fight with Drew letting out all his anger at me." May said trying not to cry at the memory. "He said a lot of bad things during it, things he knew he couldn't take back and that I won't repeat. However, it was that anger that did it for him in the end and allowed me to win. It destroyed him and allowed me to exploit his short sightedness to win. It gave me 2 Grand Festival wins over him."

"That will do it." Dawn said. "I doubt he could handle that."

"Oh, that wasn't the end." May said as she swallowed and continued. "Drew had one more attack for me. He openly supported Harley in the finals and cheered for him over me during the entire match. I can't prove it but I am sure he told Harley how to beat me because Harley seemed to have a counter for everything I threw at him, something Harley seldom had. I lost, badly, and it was humiliating. Drew just smirked at my defeat as he cheered Harley raising the Ribbon Cup. That was the last straw."

"What did you do?" Dawn asked.

"I told him we were through and that I never wanted to see him again." May said simply, feeling the shadow of Drew lift from her heart as she got the story off her chest. "I told him that I was going to go straight to Sinnoh and compete in the next season there and that he had better not follow me or else I would make it clear what had happened in our relationship."

"Did he?" Dawn asked. "Did he follow you?"

"Fortunately, no." May said shaking her head. "I never saw him again and I am very happy for that. I heard he had taken a year off and traveled to a far-off region, Galar maybe, but that was the last I heard of him. Good riddance. He isn't worth my time and I am looking forward to never seeing him again."

"Agreed." Dawn said with a nod. "I am glad you kicked him to the curb, he didn't deserve you."

"He didn't." May agreed. "It took a while for me to come to terms with that and that his actions weren't my fault but now I know the truth. Drew did give me one good thing."

"What?" Dawn asked curiously.

"He gave me the fuel I needed to win." May said forcefully. "I used the anger I had against him to drive me while I was in Sinnoh. I took 4 ribbons there really quickly. I just needed one more and I was saving it for the Wallace Cup so I got some time off to enjoy Sinnoh before I went to Johto for the Wallace Cup and my last ribbon. I had no idea what was waiting for me there."

"Misty." Dawn said simply.

"Misty I could handle, at least back then." May said shaking her head. "I was actually looking forward to seeing her at it. It was known before the contest that Misty would be there and the defending champion she was the favorite to win it. I was happy that she was there. I wanted revenge for my loss to her the year before. I contacted her as soon as she landed in Johto and we agreed to share a room and catch up. it was great to see a friendly face again and we had a lot of fun…"

"But that wasn't all." Dawn said realizing where this was going. "Because of where Misty had just been and who she had seen."

"Yeah she had just been in Unova … with Ash." May confirmed. "I hadn't seen him for over a year and after what I had been through with Drew I thought all my feelings for him were gone."

"They never are." Dawn said her own tone sad but wistful at the same time. "When it comes to Ash Ketchum, he has a way of always sticking around no matter what you do to get over him."

"Yup I learned that one fast." May said. "And not how I was expecting."

"Let me guess, Misty wouldn't shut up about Ash because she had just seen him." Dawn said. "And it reminded you of old, better times back when you liked him and the floodgates around your heart burst open."

"That is true but it was more than even that." May said with a sad smile. "Misty absolutely fawned over Ash. I had never seen her like that, she was always girly but never like teenage girly obsessed with a boy. I knew at once that she had a huge crush on him that had been made worse by briefly seeing him again. It cause me to feel jealousy for the first time in a long time."

"And that is when you realized that you still liked Ash." Dawn said. "More than ever before."

"Yup and Misty had no clue I was feeling that way." May said. "She was too absorbed in her own feelings to notice. I tried to not let it get to me and I succeeded until I faced Misty in the final. Then it became about Ash, at least to me."

"Yeah that happens when you know the other person likes the same person as you." Dawn said knowingly. "It makes you a little irrational and more direct."

"That and it distracted me while Misty was so in her element in that battle that she beat me handily and defended her title." May said. "Then in her post final interview, with me by her side congratulating her, she praised Ash the way only people like us can praise him."

"We all traveled with and fell for Ash." Dawn said. "It is only natural that that will happen. What did she say?"

"She didn't mention his name but I knew who she was talking about." May said recalling the speech. "Misty gushed over him, spoke of how much he had helped her and made her the coordinator she was today and how she owed him everything. It was all the things that made Ash, well, Ash and that reminded me of how much I liked him."

"Ash can do that to you even if it is through a proxy." Dawn said. "Or the TV as is usually the case for me. So, you returned to Sinnoh. This isn't then end, I can tell."

"No, it's not." May confirmed. "I took what Misty had said about Ash and used it myself. I remembered all that Ash had taught me when we traveled together and what he meant to me. I remembered who he was and what he did for me and I used that to get me over the edge. I won my next Contest and then cruised through the Grand Festival. Only the finals were hard but I won them at the buzzer. At last I had my Ribbon Cup; I had my dream. I had it all, except Ash."

"But you had a plan." Dawn said. "I saw how broken you were when Misty kissed him. That only comes from all hopes being crushed before your very eyes. I was there myself though my solution was significantly more violent."

"You are very astute you know that." May said and Dawn just nodded. "I had a plan and it would have worked too. After I won in Sinnoh, I was approached by the Contest Committee with an offer I could reject. They wanted to send me to a far-off region, all expenses paid, to promote Contests and coordinators while we built the season there for the Committee's expansion. I got to choose which region I wanted to go to."

"Which one?" Dawn asked starting to see May's plan.

"Kalos." May said with a small smile at what could have been. "I am set to go there in a month. When I got the invite to this I thought that fate was smiling on me at last. I chose Kalos because I knew that Ash hadn't been there and that it had all that he looked for in a region. I was going to call and ask him to join me there but after the invite I could actually ask him in person. Then, while there, I could tell him how I felt. Of course, apparently fate decided it actually fucking with me."

"Fate can be like that." Dawn said with a sigh. "It works in ways we do not understand and many of us are not blessed the way Misty was blessed. That plan was good, probably would have worked too but there was one thing you didn't count on."

"What?" May asked.

"Misty running into Ash when she did." Dawn said. "That was what triggered his own realization that he liked her as much as she liked him. Well that and Iris somehow getting through his thick skull to realize the truth."

"How on earth did she manage that?" May said in amazement. "You mentioned before and I still can't believe it. I only met her briefly before Ash arrived and only because she was a former traveling companion as well. How did she accomplish what no one else has managed? How did she get through to Ash?"

"I think it has to do with who she is as a person and the fact that unlike the other 3 girls who have traveled with Ash, she never fell for him." Dawn said after a few seconds of thought. "I spoke with her yesterday about it after we both got her and introduced ourselves and how we knew Ash. I got a good impression as to who she is and why she was successful where all others failed."

"Why?" May asked curiously.

"She's immature and childish." Dawn said bluntly. "She hides it with a bravado and condescension that is pretty good but deep down she's hasn't. fully grown up. Maybe it comes from her lifestyle and lack of social interaction, maybe it is just who she is and who Ash is but she got through to him. Iris is painfully blunt and speaks her mind no matter the consequences."

"I can see how she would just call Ash out where we wouldn't." May said thinking on that. "It is something I certainly wouldn't do."

"Neither but there is more." Dawn said. "Iris, unlike us, doesn't have romantic feelings for Ash, that I am certain of. It was because of that lack of feeling that she was able to point out to Ash that he liked Misty. She said as much to his face. It must have worked because Ash is with Misty now."

"If only I had managed that." May said sadly. "All of this could have been avoided/"

"Same here." Dawn agreed. "But once Ash saw Misty in Unova everything was set in motion and I don't think we could have stopped it. After all, he did go straight to the Johto Grand Festival for her when he was done in Unova."

"He what?" May asked her eyes going wide.

"Yeah you should know how it happened." Dawn said, the sadness clear in her voice. "It will hurt but it is needed because Misty will tell you happily what Ash did for her and you are going to have to fake being happy for her. Best to know ahead of time."

"Yeah that sounds like it is for the best." May said as she steeled herself. "Lay it on me, how did it happen?"

"According to them, Ash learned of Misty's qualification after his own loss in Unova." Dawn began. "He stayed there until the end of the Conference and then went straight to Johto. He made it in time to attend the Grand Festival but deliberately didn't see Misty until after her loss. She lost to a hated rival by one point in the final and Ash went to comfort her. As soon as that occurred, we lost and Misty won."

May winced but nodded in agreement. That was a brutal loss for Misty and she felt for her friend but she also felt pain, resentment and jealousy towards the blue haired coordinator as well.

What Ash had done was exactly what she would have done for him if she had thought of it. It was also what she would have wanted him to do for her and what she knew he would have done had he felt the same about her as she did about him. It would have shown her that Ash liked her. No wonder Misty realized it. She would have cried then and there had she any tears left to shed after everything.

"Thanks for telling me." May said sadly before frowning, something wasn't adding up and she remembered a question from earlier after they had sat down here. "Wait, how did you know?"

"Because they told me." Dawn said her sadness still present in her voice. "After I calmed down of course and we came to a mutual understanding so to speak."

"You said you met Misty recently." May recalled. "What happened? How did you meet her?"

"Ash of course." Dawn said shaking her head slowly. "Lovable, cute, wonderful, oblivious Ash. He brought Misty back with him to Kanto have the Grand Festival and their route took them through Cerulean City."

"Oh." May said realizing what Dawn was saying. "And Ash being Ash wanted to say hi to his oldest and closest friend while he was in town and he brought Misty along with him without realizing anything."

"Spot on." Dawn said. "I ran into them, literally, outside the gym. At first I was ecstatic. I had run into and landed on top of Ash. I hadn't seen him in years and as soon I saw him again all the old feelings came back in a rush as if it was only yesterday when I realized I was in love with him. I just held him for what felt like an eternity, resting against his chest the way I always wanted to do, until Misty reminded me she was there. That was my first sight of her."

"I take it you didn't handle it well." May said and Dawn winced slightly.

"I tried; I really did." Dawn said in her own defense but even she didn't believe it. "It didn't help that she is a very attractive girl and I saw Misty's love for Ash in her eyes when he helped her up. That triggered my jealousy and anger, two things that should never mix with me especially when the catalyst is Ash. Her Piplup diffused it for a bit as he is adorable."

"He's one of a kind." May agreed. "I have met him a few times and he is both cute and powerful. I can see how you would love him."

"He's a water type and one I hadn't seen before." Dawn said with a smile. "How could I not. I fawned over him as I would any other water type. Course that didn't go over well, nor did my assumption that Piplup was Ash's. I tried to be civil, she was a friend of Ash's so she should be my friend as well but I had clearly pissed off Misty and she chose to strike then and there."

"What did she do?" May asked.

"She told me who she was." Dawn said remembering the moment her own heart had been shattered. "She told me she was Ash's girlfriend."

"Ah I see." May said with a wince. "And I take it you, er, weren't rational."

"A rampaging Gyarados with murder in its heart was rational compared to me at that moment." Dawn admitted. "I, er, flipped my shit so to speak."

"So, what happened?" May asked curious now. "Because you seem to at least able to handle everything at the moment."

"I am able to handle it because Misty and I were able to work it out." Dawn said causing May to quirk an eyebrow at here. "I won't go into details but let's just say we had a long, at times violent and property damaging, discussion with each other. In the end, I lost and I conceded my defeat to Misty."

"You lost?" May asked confused it sounded like Misty and Dawn had had some sort of battle. "To Misty?"

"I did." Dawn said with a nod. "I am sure that once Misty realizes you like Ash you will face a similar challenge. It is only natural. Misty saw me for what I was, a legitimate threat and rival to her, and she decided to show her dominance over me. I in turn tried to do the same. I lost. It destroyed my anger and I swallowed my pride and apologized to her for my actions. I accepted her as Ash's girlfriend and I saw that she does truly, deeply, love him and he loves her back. It was painful and I doubt I will move on but I accepted it. I know that I will always love Ash but he is, and will never be, mine."

"I see." May said understanding it at least in part. "I think."

"You will understand it when the time comes." Dawn said cryptically. "That time is not today though, today is for Ash. Of course, I lost but that doesn't mean I am not jealous."

"So, what are you doing about it?" May asked.

"Oh, I have my ways." Dawn said with a twisted smirk. "I am being petty, I am messing with Misty though it is at least in part real because if she agreed I wouldn't hesitate, but it is my way of keeping her on edge."

"How are you doing that?" May asked.

"That is for me to know alone." Dawn said shaking her head. "I have to have some secrets. I am sure that they will come out one day but not today."

"Fine." May grumbled. "So, what now?"

"Piplup!" A voice came from behind them startling the girls.

May turned to see of all the Pokémon present Misty's Piplup. He was looking at Dawn expectantly with a hard stare that Dawn laughed at.

"Pip, Piplup." He said again.

"Yes, we have been away from all the action haven't we." Dawn admitted. "Sorry, I needed to help out May but we are done and we can return now. Your timing has been impeccable my friend."

"Pip, pip, Piplup." Piplup said holding out his flippers to Dawn. Dawn smiled as she got up, went to the Pokémon and picked him up.

"Er Dawn, what is going on?" May asked as she returned Wartortle from where he was swimming and picked up Dawn's now sleeping Azurill.

"I owe Piplup a spoiling." Dawn admitted to which the Penguin Pokémon nodded as Dawn scratched under his chin. "He, er, got in the way of my rage when Misty and I had our deep discussion about Ash. I was a little harsh to him and he didn't deserve it. I promised him I would make it up to him at some point so for the rest of the night I have to spoil him. Then he can forgive us."

"Pip, Piplup." Piplup nodded.

"Do I even want to know what happened?" May asked.

"Not really, I am not proud of it at all." Dawn admitted remorsefully. "Piplup didn't deserve it. Come on, we should head back. No doubt we are going to have to rescue someone, be it from Misty's wrath, a guy who likes her trying to take on Ash, or most likely Brock hitting on that attractive Professor from Unova. Can you hold Azurill for me?""

"Yeah I can." May said with a nod. "And Dawn, thanks. I really needed that after the shock of earlier. I may not be ready fully but for tonight I can grin and bear it for Ash."

"That is all we can do." Dawn said as they began to head back. "I am sure he is looking forward to seeing you again, as is Misty, and we owe it to them not to let our feelings ruin tonight for Ash. Let's return to our friends."

May nodded as they headed back. She knew that she was not 100% but May could last the night. She had a lot of thinking to do and a lot of soul searching but her talk with Dawn had helped more than she had expected. It had been just what May needed to come to terms with everything, hopefully her trip to Kalos would give her that break away she now needed. May doubted it but she could hope.

As they began to return to the party May put on a brave face, thinking of Ash. This was his birthday, all his friends were here and she was one of them, she had to be there for him. She could do this for him even if he would never see her the way she saw him. For Ash May could do anything. After all, he was the boy that May knew in her heart that she was in love with.