I came back to myself with a rush, the pain of shrapnel still echoing in my nerves.

"It's here…" Chris said as we stood in front of a heavy wooden door, and I felt a flash of pure terror. Right on cue, Maxwell opened the door ahead of us.

Before he could say even a word, I'd grabbed the fuse loops and primed all four grenades on my bandolier before swinging it off my shoulder and straight into his arms. The door opened inwards so kicking it closed wasn't an option, but I wasted no time booking it up the stairs. They fuses had run just a bit long last time, maybe, hopefully, they would again.

Chris proved she was second to nobody in the Five Meter Stair Climb, even with my having about half a second's head start she was on my heels pretty much instantly as I launched myself up the stairwell. I got a glimpse of Maxwell examining my present curiously as I rounded the corner and put some good solid stone between my meat and danger. None too soon, because the rumble shook the walls and turned the manor into a kicked hornet's nest as servants and staff rolled out of their beds and boiled out into the halls. You'd think with Megumin in the area they'd be more used to random eruptions like that.

"Thieves!" one maid screamed on seeing Chris and I, and the chase was on. Chris tossed something that exploded into a tangled nest of wires blocking one end of the hall, then we booked it in the opposite direction while she clacked her signal three times. As much as I wanted the help Rin and Taylor could give, I didn't argue. There was no guarantee they could make a big enough mess to make a difference anyway.

We sensed a patrol up heard just before we heard the shouting, maybe one we missed on the way in, this time we went right through them. I did my best impression of a wire fu actor, skipping off the wall to come down behind the trio of footmen. Before one could turn to face me, I'd already driven a heel into his knee, the leather around the joint slightly muffling the crack of the cartilage right before I jabbed him at the point of his jaw, silencing the building scream. Chris had already dealt with the other two, one clutching his eyes and curled on the floor like he'd been Maced, the other lying still but probably not dead if she'd spared the other one.

More shouting came behind us, Chris released another wire trap and we took off down a residential corridor that had been mostly deserted, leaving behind us the guards who were mobilizing. Gradually the sounds of shouts, orders, counter-orders, and other general signs that the security team probably didn't practice as often as they should have been left behind as we turned another corner, and another, before making it to the room we'd entered from.

I thought we were going to make it. We should have made it. Then I yanked open a set of curtains covering the balcony door and waiting ahead of us was Maxwell.

"Hello!" he waved, suit singed and tattered by my grenades. "That was quite a surprise! I haven't seen anything like that before and let me tell you that's saying something when you're as old as me!"

"Begone!" Chris screamed, leaping at the demon with speed I could barely believe.

I'd say he faced her charge without blinking, but I'd be lying. He did, just tilted his head in puzzlement, as if she'd asked him a question he didn't understand. Her enchanted dagger buried itself in his neck and stuck fast, the flesh growing around it to lock it in place. Chris kicked off him and skidded to a halt several paces away, drawing a pair of spare stilettos from her boots.

"Interrupting someone is very rude. You're a grown woman, you should know better!" he chided with a wagging finger, as though he was disciplining an upset child and not fending off an attempt on his life.

Meanwhile, I'd tried to circle behind and shank him while he was distracted, but he bent out of the way of my spin kick like he was made of rubber, then grabbed my ankle with an arm I knew was bending the wrong way to sling me right into the balcony rail.

I felt a stabbing, crushing pain as I hit, somewhere in my lower back, and my legs went numb all at once. Chris saw it too, from the way I fell, and her eyes changed. Not just the way they tightened in rage, but the normal purple I loved seemed to glow from within. Her hair and costume swirled like she was standing in a storm, and as she spoke her tone shifted from the peppy tomboy I knew, to a gentle, steely strength.

"Enough of this. Know that your doom is nigh, denizen of the Pit. By the faith of my children and the grace of my divinity you shall plague this land no more!"

Replacing my favorite thief, was my favorite goddess.

Eris didn't say anything else, just leveled a hand that bloomed with holy might and let fly. This time, Maxwell took her seriously, charging in with a laugh like a demented grade schooler's, high pitched and keening, as he twisted around the blast like an acrobat. He followed up with a whip-like lash of his arm, the fingers merging into a wicked spike. My vision was fading in and out, but I still saw that half his head was missing, not from damage either of us inflicted, but like a giant spoon had scooped out the back smoothly as if it was a ripe fruit and the skin grew over it, leaving a concave surface behind.

Eris wasn't shy about returning the favor, charging up her fists with more of her holy mojo and dancing in to meet him, the balls of her feet leaving little puffs of smoke where they met the floor.

I was having trouble even keeping my head up through the waves of pain as I fought my crippled legs to roll over and at least throw my knife at the bastard or something. Maybe I should've taken Kazuma up on that offer of the big booms too, collapsing the upper floor on him should work, right?

Or might not. Eris and Maxwell skidded and wove around each other, demonic and divine energies crackling off each other. Eris tried to slide past an arm whip, showing her divine form still had her mortal one's moves, but it bent unnaturally and took her in the hip, knocking her through the posts of a dust covered canopy bed. She tried to roll with it and recover to her feet, but Maxwell was on her. Eris tried to charge her stilettos full of holiness and stab him as he came, but though the wounds in his thigh and calf hissed and smoked evilly he kept that same vacantly curious expression, like a kid poking an anthill to make them scurry, as he ripped her head right off.

Then, as if he'd remembered he'd left a faucet running, he quickly stood upright and turned to me.

"Oh! I quite forgot you were there! Here, my apologies!"

I had a flashing glimpse of one of Eris' stilettos zipping from his hand, then nothing.

Blackness.

"...It's…" I didn't even let 'Chris' finish, just pounced on her while priming my bandolier and tackle rushed both of us up the stairs as they cooked before the door had opened even a crack.

"What the HELL?!" she shrieked as we emerged at a run from the top of the stairwell, as Maxwell finished opening the door.

A guard's head popped out of his room just as the explosion shook the manor, we pounded past before he could even think of drawing steel, assuming he'd even thought to bring a blade to the door.

"Are you INSANE! Stop, we can't just…"

"Dammit Eris, no time! Two clicks!" I panted as we reached the main hallway and the shortest route to the outside. After a moment I heard the signal, but nothing else from her as Rin went to work outside, and the faint tug of a Decoy skill activating from Taylor. I hadn't thought of that, and I should've, dammit. Do demons respond to Decoy like other monsters? But there was no way to tell him, so we ran on.

It would probably never have worked if Alderp hadn't apparently been feeding his staff to the abomination in his basement for, well Eris clearly didn't know how long, but you get my point. Either way, picking the shortest route out and stealth be damned seemed to have kept us ahead of Maxwell, the guards didn't even get mobilized until we were halfway to the outer wall and the first arrows and magic began to come our way.

Needless to say neither of us had the slightest problem setting records going up and over the rope.

Once into the woods we slowed, they would've had some idea which direction we went, and even a place with this piddling guard could muster a few bloodhounds. So, since neither Sense Foe nor Warn were telling us anything had eyes on us, we slowed and focused on covering our tracks instead of covering ground.

"How long have you known?" Eris asked after maybe an hour.

"Known? Basically, just now," I whispered back. "Your disguise might need some work though, milady. I did start to wonder, seeing you after…well, after," I finished lamely.

"Most people who see the real me don't come back," she grumbled softly. "And I wasn't planning to be around for a while and let your memory fade, but Lalatina put paid to that." She dropped back from ahead of me to walk beside me, peering at my face. "What was down there? What did we find?"

I stared at her incredulously. "You don't know?! I thought goddesses were all 'no sparrow shall fall outside my ken' and all that."

She blushed cutely and looked away. "I'm tied to Fortune and Commerce, not Time," she muttered. "Now quit stalling, what is it, and why didn't we kill it on sight?"

"You tried," I whispered, choking a little. "We both tried, but mostly you. It…it didn't work…he…he called himself Maxwell. Maxwell the Adjuster."

Eris closed her eyes briefly, then nodded. "I can take anything from a Marquis of the Pit on down, junior goddess or not. There are less than a dozen creatures in this world that could possibly kill me. He would be one of them."

"And that's why you brought me along, isn't it? To be the canary in a coal mine, not because I'm close to your lady, or my skills."

My goddess nodded. "I know you don't care much for Lalatina one way or the other. And the rest was true as far as it goes. But yes, your blessing more than anything was why. For what it may be worth, if I was fully manifested here when Maxwell killed me then you may well have saved Belzerg by being here. I'm not entirely sure what would happen to my believers if I perished while in the mortal realm. If my mantle would simply pass on without Aqua to oversee the transfer."

That was something, I supposed. It beat dying repeatedly just to dig myself out of the hole I'd dug for myself and jumped into.


It was almost midnight when we reached the meeting point with Rin and Taylor. Thankfully neither of them was worse for wear. Afterwards, we filled them in on most of what happened, minus Chris' side job, as we hiked back to Axel before camping outside the walls until the gates opened at dawn.

"I'm going to see if I can get word out about what we're up against to the capital. My luck is supposed to be better than this, the one time I need to use Lalatina's connections to the crown she's right at the middle of the storm," Chris chuckled grimly. "In the meantime, hit the hay if you need to and meet back at the guild at lunch. Hopefully I can get a bigger hammer for the job here locally."

Heaven knew I could use a few more hours in a real bed rather than just the nap I'd gotten in my blanket roll before the gate opened. But I was too wound up for that yet. The adrenaline had long since worn off, leaving just the sour roiling of dread in the pit of my stomach.

Speaking of feelings of dread, I saw a familiar peaked hat in the crowd ahead of me. If Yunyun confided in anybody in Axel, it was probably her fellow clanswoman, and I couldn't face that right now. I almost turned and faded back into the crowd, then paused in thought.

"Hey! Megumin!" I called out, waving a hand to catch her attention. Her head whipped around, revealing her kitten familiar riding under her hat atop her head, and both hissed at me.

"For the last time! My name is…!" then her brain caught up with her reflexes and she continued perplexedly "is in fact Megumin. Though for you of all people to address me correctly is deeply unnerving." She regarded me from under the brim of her hat with deep suspicion.

"I need some information about the Crimson Demons. Basically, how high up is the chief, really? Like more than a regular chief of some village I guess, but I'm not sure how important leading a bunch of super wizards makes you."

She snorted and broke eye contact to look down her nose at me, impressive when I had a head of height on her.

"You are wise to question, for my rival is far too good for the likes of you. The Chiefs lead the clan in battle, and as such must command the respect of all Crimson Demons. Her mother and father have shown themselves worthy of that regard many times. Officially, they also hold some title from the Outsider kingdom, but that is hardly as important…"

"What title?" I interrupted hurriedly.

"Royal Governor," she replied testily. "But as I said…"

I could've kissed her, if I wasn't pretty sure that would get me a face full of angry familiar and probably an explosion for dessert.

"As you said, you were looking for breakfast and you'd love for me to treat you at the guild, as long as you carry a message back to your village for me!" I took her by the hand and led her in that direction. "And lucky for you, I'm happy to do it!"

She jerked her hand out of mine but followed beside me. "I shall take your offer of a meal, but beware. I shall not be party to, nor tolerate, any attempt to woo my rival for use of her position for your own gain," she growled, eyes rising to an all too familiar glow.

I returned the stare, managing to dodge passerby to maintain it. "Good, because I'm only using her to save all our asses. You heard what happened to Dark…Lady Lalatina?" I muttered into her ear, using the hat brim to block my mouth and hopefully anyone trying to lip read me.

The tiny wizard slowly nodded.

"There's way more to the story. We need to get word to the capital, and at this rate the damned king might be the only one who can stop this trai…shipwreck before it's too late."

She pulled away, the blood draining from her face only making the red in her eyes stand out more vividly. "You jest, and poorly."

"If only. This isn't what I would've wished for in an adventure, but nobody asked me and here we are. Are you in or out?"

She nodded firmly and stepped up her pace. Once we arrived, I made straight for the front desk, buying a few sheets of paper and making a withdrawal on my account.

That done, I headed to an empty table, and began frantically writing out what Chris and I had found out so far, along with our best guesses at Alderp's plan. When I finished, I found Megumin grimly working her way through a skillet of fried potatoes and onions across the table from me, though her heart didn't seem to be in it judging by the paleness still in her face.

"Here. This is everything we know so far. Guard it with your life, give it only to Yunyun or her dad, and tell them to get it to as high ranking a person who isn't part of House Dustiness as they possibly can." Then, I took the other sheet, and stared at it a moment before writing out a few more sentences and folding it up too. "This one…just give it to Yunyun. If you ask her, she'll tell you why. Now hurry. The day coach to Arcanretia leaves any minute, teleport fee is in the pouch."

With that, the now refueled wizard trotted out the door. Probably pleased as could be to be the bearer of mysterious and dire tidings, knowing her.

Still, with as roundabout as this method was, there was no guarantee any help would arrive before the deed was done.

I was pulling over Megumin's half-finished plate of hash, I wasn't too proud to eat food I'd paid for, when I heard a whistle from the other side of the dining hall and saw Taylor waving me over. Picking the plate up, I made my way to him.

Dust was waiting for me, sharing a table with the most adorable little girl I'd ever seen. White haired and paler than the cream-colored dress she wore, with yellow eyes and an absolutely massive pile of plates in front of her.

"I know she can't be yours, Dust." Rin snapped as I came up, standing beside his chair and leaning into his space. "No kid who was could be this adorable no matter who you knocked up." She ruffled the munchkin's hair beside her and had to jerk her hand back when she got snapped at, then continued glaring down at the blond man desperately trying not to cower. After a few moments of this, long enough for me to sit down well out of the line of fire, she relented and grunted "Welcome back, dumbass," giving him a quick hug before retaking a seat opposite him, Taylor following suit with a clap on his shoulder.

"So, what the hell happened to you?" I asked. "Besides instant fatherhood."

"That…is a story I don't want to tell sober," he began. The girl at his side paused in spooning up her porridge to tug on his sleeve, giving him a look full of disapproval. "But I will anyway," he continued hastily.

"So I was out in the market that evening, minding my own business, when these two guys in Dustiness colors came up to me. I figured they were coming to collect for someone I owe, so I took off and tried to lose them. That got the Watch involved, because anytime they see somebody chasing me those tightasses assume I did something…"

Can't imagine why, I thought to myself. Given Rin and Taylor's expressions I wasn't the only one.

"…and so, they start chasing me too and cut me off before I get into the back alleys. Now I'm a law-abiding citizen, so I told the watch lady that I'd stop but only if she took me out later, you know the one I mean. I wouldn't say that to just anybody ya know, so I dunno why she got all pissy and cuffed me. So, then the Watch and the Dustinesses start arguing over who actually gets me, and then when I try kind of sliding out of the way while they haggle it out one of the knights hits me with some kind of stun spell. I mean come on?! Who does that?!"

He threw his hands up in outrage. "Next thing I know I wake up in the jail and instead of Nibbets in the watchroom its those two knights again. They drag me out, hangover of the century and all, and start questioning me with the truth bell. Did I know Darkness? Did I know anything about her? Well, I certainly did now, let me tell you, after the last few nights! But they didn't think that was funny." He fingered his lip unconsciously but kept talking. "So, then I find out who she actually is, and how deep I'd gotten myself so to speak. After that, I didn't see the regular staff, it was always one of the Dustiness mooks. Besides you lot anyway. Thanks for that, it meant a lot. They didn't really ask me anything else besides that first time, but its not like they needed to know anything either. Then they finally turned me loose this morning, said the duke himself pardoned me." Dust shrugged. "And here I am. The jerks didn't give me any food before I left, though. Probably thought to pinch an eris for themselves if I got kicked out before they had to feed me."

"And the munchkin comes into all this how?" Rin asked, apparently enjoying Dust getting interrogated and locked up now that it was clear he wasn't in real danger.

"I told you, she just showed up today. I ran into Faitfore like five minutes after I left the Watch station, and we came straight here since she was hungry."

"That must have been very brave of you, to ride a wagon here by yourself," Taylor said to her, reaching out slowly like he would a strange dog. For her part, the girl I now knew was named Faitfore responded a lot better than with Rin, actually sniffing his fingers for a moment before graciously allowing him to pet her head a few times. "…yes…yes I rode a wagon here," she said softly after some hesitation and a look at Dust. "It was very scary," she said almost in a monotone, like she'd practiced the line.

"She's from the same town as me, I knew her parents before I became an adventurer." He replied with an irritated look for Rin's benefit. Turning to the girl, he said more softly "You shouldn't have come here, you know its dangerous for you to be out on your own."

"You needed me. So, I came," she answered stubbornly, glaring right back at him. It might've been a trick of the light, or maybe I'm oversensitive to glowing eyes lately. But I was almost sure hers turned just slightly reddish as she matched wills with her older if only slightly more mature companion.

Rin broke into the staring contest. "As much fun as watching you squirm is, we do have bigger toads to skin. We found out some things about your lady's situation that puts things in a way different light than both of you being idiots and she not caring what happened to you if you got caught."

Catching the significant look at the gremlin and tilt of the head Taylor gave me, I stood and crouched in front of Faitfore. "I'm Subaru, I adventure with Dust sometimes. Why don't we talk to that nice blonde lady over there? She runs things here, so I bet she'll let you have something from the kitchen if you ask nicely." From my dealings with the neighborhood kids, food was never a bad place to start with a bribe, and she was no exception. The little gremlin was out of her seat and bolted towards Luna's desk like the world's cutest dragster, only slowing to a power walk after Dust yelled at her not to run indoors.

I followed behind with a smirk. Dust acting like a dad, would wonders never cease. I got to the counter a few seconds behind Faitfore, who was staring up intently at the senior clerk.

"Hey, she's still got some empty corners still if you can believe it. Do you know if there's some more porridge or something in the back? I'll cover it."

The lady in question stared in shock at us both, and who could blame her after seeing what the girl already put away? Then, almost visibly, the wheels began to turn behind her eyes. Before then I'd thought she was an earnest, and smokin', guild employee who did her job wrangling adventurers a lot better than I probably would in her place. It was a little like what watching humanity discover fire must have been like, and I realized too late just how wrong I'd been and that we adventurers might be in trouble.

Before I could lead the little walking appetite elsewhere, Luna hurried around the counter and crouched in front of Faitfore, totally 'coincidentally' blocking the shortest route to the exit. "Well of course! But tell me one thing first. How do you like strong, reliable people who fight monsters? Who protect the people in town by completing their jobs every day? Don't you think people like that are so amazing?"

For a moment I hoped her point was going over the girl's head, but then her eyes lit up in understanding, again almost literally I wanted to say.

"I do! People like that are the best!" she said in a cute, carrying voice to the adventurers lounging around the edges of the dining hall getting an early start on their drinking. "Anyone who doesn't do that much for their town is the worst!"

As one they turned their baleful stares on me, and all I could do was clasp my hands and bow my head in apology, my old culture's habits coming back full force under the sheer weight of their glares.