"And so, Nari won't be attending classes anymore. At least, not for a while."
"Oh, no! Is Siren okay? Is she okay?" Apollon was the first to voice his concerns, though it was clear from the looks on everyone's faces that they felt the same. Dionysus in particular wore a deep frown, arms crossing over his chest as he leaned back in his chair. It was obvious he wanted to do more about the situation but figured he would get an earful were he to leave during the middle of class. Instead, he waved his hand to get Yui's attention, speaking when she looked his way.
"What exactly is going on with her? Is she hurt?"
Yui shook her head. She wasn't sure how to explain to the gods what was happening to her sister. Any question she answered would only open up a can of new ones, particularly in the pharmaceutical department. And she wasn't sure whether Nari would be happy about her discussing her business so openly with the others. To be on the safe side, she aimed for the vaguest response possible. "Nari… Nari is very, very sick."
"Does it have anything to do with what she's been taking lately?"
Yui blinked. Of course, he would hit the nail right on the head. She should have expected as much, for the god of a mind-altering substance to recognize someone under the influence of one. What she wasn't sure of was how far to go in her explanation. Lying wasn't an option, Dionysus would see right through her, not to mention Loki. And the latter would have no problem calling her out on it in front of everyone. Resigning herself, she sighed. Nari was going to kill her; she was sure of it. "Yes."
"Hmm? Taking? Siren's been taking something? What's she been taking?" Apollon questioned.
"Well, it's…" Yui fidgeted with her sleeve. "Iit's called Benzodiazepine."
"Bensodaspin? What's that?" His pronunciation was atrocious, but it didn't surprise her. There were plenty of humans that had difficulty pronouncing that word.
"Benzodiazepine," she corrected. "It's a drug that humans use to help with… disorders, like insomnia or anxiety. It has psychological effects."
"Huh?" Takeru looked even more confused than before.
"It means it affects the brain's function," Tsukito explained. "It can stimulate the release of chemicals such as dopamine and melatonin which —"
"Yes, Tsukito, that's correct." Yui stopped the moon god, interrupting his tangent.
"So, in laymen's terms… it makes you feel good," Loki said.
"Uh… sort of?"
"Like wine!" Dionysus offered.
"Yes, Dionysus, like wine. Only much, much stronger. But if you take too much of it or for too long, it can have dangerous side effects… like addiction."
Takeru frowned. "So, what, Human got addicted to this stuff?"
Yui nodded sadly. "Yes. But she's getting off of them now, which means she won't be taking them anymore. Unfortunately, cutting off a substance so suddenly…"
"I understand," Tsukito nodded, looking up from his notebook. "This was covered in anatomy."
"Was it?" Takeru asked.
"Yes. Near the end of the book."
"Heh… near the end…" Yui held in a sigh. Leave it to Tsukito to read through the entire text. They hadn't even finished the first four chapters, and the school year was already half over.
"Nari Kusanagi is suffering from withdrawal."
"What's withdrawal?" Dionysus asked. "Is it like a hangover?"
Yui nodded. "That's one way of looking at it. It's kind of like a hangover, only worse."
"How so?"
"Well, with a hangover, you typically get headaches, maybe a little bit of nausea… but with withdrawal, you can —"
"During the period of withdrawal, an individual can suffer nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, and fever," Tsukito explained.
"Damn, all that?" Takeru blinked.
"Yes…" Yui nodded. "And those are just the mild symptoms. The more severe ones can range anywhere from chills, to blackouts, bouts of delirium… in rare cases, it can even cause full-on hallucinations."
"Was this a cause of my misfortune…?"
"No, Hades, this has nothing to do with you. Nari has been struggling with this for a long time. Long before either of us met any of you."
"And what does a human do for this 'withdrawal?'" Loki asked.
"I… I don't understand what you mean."
"Well, you said it's a sickness, right? Humans get sick. How do you cure it?"
"Ah… well… you can't. It's just a natural process that has to take place while the body purges itself. The only thing that'll fix it is time."
"So, Kusanagi just has to… suffer? That's unimaginable." Balder's eyes fell to his desk, clearly distressed.
"Yes. But Nari is strong. I know she'll be okay."
"I feel like we should do something for Siren. We should do something!" Apollon offered, earning an affirmative nod from his brother.
"He's right. It feels kind of wrong, holding classes while Fotia's lying sick in her room…"
Yui shook her head, shutting down the conversation immediately. "No, none of that."
"But —"
"Listen, the only thing Nari hates more than what she's going through right now is the idea of being a burden. She wouldn't want us to let this interfere with everyone's graduation. Trust me. So, until she returns, everyone please continue to do your best. Okay?"
A wave of hushed murmurs was her only response as she quickly returned to her seat. She could feel Thoth's scrutinizing gaze at the back of her head the entire time. The moment she was seated, he launched into a lecture of their next topic: human literature. The students listened halfheartedly, with the exception of Tsukito who, as always, took endless pages of diligent notes. The gods were understandably distracted; they were worried for their classmate. And why wouldn't they be? Nari had always made a habit of convincing people she was fine, even when she clearly wasn't. If she had been dealing with so much stress before, they could only imagine what she was going through now.
Near the back of the classroom Loki stared forward at the board, but his mind wandered elsewhere. He had suspected that something serious was going on with her; it was why he had enlisted the help of her sister. After her hysterical outburst on the rooftop, he had no doubt that whatever problems she faced went far deeper than classwork or stage fright. What he hadn't suspected was for the situation to be as dire as it was.
Growing worried following their chat, Loki found himself unable to sleep and decided to take a walk around the school grounds. After narrowly avoiding running into Fuyu on her mad dash out of the building, he ended up chasing after her — there was no way Nari's familiar sprinting across the grounds could be a good sign. He soon doubled back, remaining out of sight as the animal returned with Eir in tow.
When they all arrived back at the dorm it was just in time for him to see a terrifying scene: Yui sobbing uncontrollably over her sister's unmoving form. The goddess of healing worked her magic to resuscitate her, and her pale skin turning nearly completely white. It had been many years since he had felt such fear. He truly believed over the course of that hour that Nari may actually perish. It was only by divine intervention — literally — that she was able to survive.
From there, the siblings had gotten into quite the argument, and through it, Loki had finally learned the truth of the matter; the source of the older Kusanagi's sister's constant pain. And doing so had threatened to split his rapidly beating heart into pieces. It wasn't a surprise to him to discover that Nari had serious issues. No one with an attitude like hers had led a reasonably normal life. But he didn't realize that her difficulties extended so far. He certainly didn't think they were bad enough to nearly kill her.
If he hadn't already hated humans before, hearing her story would have easily pushed him in that direction, and possibly over the edge. So much senseless suffering, all under the guise of trying to be someone she wasn't. Just to bring honor to a family that, he had now learned, was not even hers to begin with. And in doing so found herself in a situation from which the only escape was death.
He wasn't sure exactly who Yamagata was. Only that, should he ever find him, he would burn anything that remained of his body. Or his soul, rather. Nari had taken care of his physical form herself. It seemed that he was the poor sap that had bloodied her on the day they met… and he — Loki now determined — had very much deserved it. After all, the damage he had done had pursued her all the way to their heavenly school. He had caused her so much pain that she nearly followed him into the afterlife. Even now, he still couldn't get the idea of her lifeless body out of his mind.
Suddenly, the idea of leaving her alone in her room was terrifying to him. It was anyone's guess what she was doing in there.
"You're worried about her."
A quiet statement of fact from his classmate, sitting at his side. Loki didn't even need to look over at him; he could already imagine the expression on Thor's face, deadpan as always with a hint of knowing in his eyes. Loki didn't bother to argue with him this time, leaning his chin on his hand. "Yeah."
He already knew what Thor was going to say next, or at the very least, what he was thinking. He could almost hear his leveled voice in mind his right then. You should go to her. A suggestion that, months ago, he would have vehemently refused. But at this point even he knew that such resistance was futile. There was no way that Nari was leaving his mind, not until he could confirm she was safe. So, as Thoth droned on about some human named Shakespeare, Loki made his decision.
. . .
3:30 p.m.
It had been nearly two hours since Nari's narrow escape. After rousing from a terrible dream, the young woman was unfortunate enough to find herself in the center of a new one. A black beast stood at her bedside, leering at her with shimmering eyes. Large black horns and razor-sharp fangs loomed over her, reaching forward a giant clawed hand to bring her to her end. Alarmed, she had thrashed, swinging wildly at the dark figure, heaving a sigh of relief as it skittered away, back into the fog from whence it came. For the time being, she was safe…
But as with all things, that security didn't last forever. With a tired groan, Nari opened her eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness of the room. A quiet stirring from the other side of her door drew her attention, rousing her from her light slumber. At the sound of the muttering, she froze, body going rigid with tension. She recognized the voice of one of them, mature and female. The other was foreign to her. Could it perhaps belong to the black beast? Had it come once more? To haunt her yet again?
No. It was something far worse.
After about four minutes, the speaking ceased, leaving the room in total silence. Then, the quiet creak of a closing door, metal scraping upon metal with every turn of the hinge. What emerged from the darkness nearly tore a scream from her throat. Another beast, much larger than the one that accosted her before. This one walked upright on two legs, a strange purple stripe radiating from its center. Trailing from its head was a wave of flame, burning and swaying with each step of the creature's feet. It was approaching her, and fast.
Uncertain what else to do, Nari swung her fist in its direction, halting its movement, before scrambling backward across the bed. The creature opened its jaws, calling out to her in a rumbling voice. "Na-ri…"
Her back pressed against the wall bringing a stop to her flight, leaving her trembling, and glaring in a cold sweat. "N-No… get away from me!" she snarled, hoping that her voice sounded far more intimidating than it actually was. Perhaps, like the other one, she could ward him off. No such luck, as the monster approached again. Once more she attempted to defend herself, kicking her leg forward in its direction. "Leave me alone!"
. . .
Loki backed away, stepping aside from Nari's sudden movement. The look on her face was nothing short of horrified, staring at him as though he were some sort of grotesque beast. Shaking his head, he looked toward the familiar standing in the open door. "Has she been like this the whole time…?"
"All day." The god of fire gave a heavy sigh and turned his attention back to his trembling classmate, taking note of her eyes darting wildly in every direction. "She wanders in and out, hallucinations and paranoia followed by periods of delusion. All in between fits of nausea. Every so often, she becomes lucid, but —"
A pained groan interrupted her explanation, the woman wrapping her arms around her midsection. Loki only nodded, stepping toward her again. Her eyes snapped forward at his sudden movement, shaking her head in utter terror. More than prepared for her assault, the nimble god maneuvered around her swinging limbs, bringing himself onto the edge of the bed within a single stride. At his approach, Nari shrieked, covering her head with her hands, and shutting her eyes.
The moment his hands grabbed her wrists, he could feel the moisture from profuse and continuous sweat. Her skin, which typically ran oddly cool, was warm to the touch. Yet her body was trembling as though she were in the center of a snowstorm. Her breathing was rapid, and he could feel her speeding heartbeat thrumming beneath his fingertips. She was moments from a panic attack.
But Loki refused to give in. Holding her steady, he was determined to get through to her. He called out to her, over and over, trying desperately to bring her back to the land of the living from her nightmarish world of fantasy. It took nearly four attempts for the sound of his voice to finally reach her, her whimpering ceasing along with her movement. When she finally lifted her tired gaze, dark and puffy from lack of sleep, he knew she was coherent. Never had he felt such a wave of relief than in the moment she met his eyes.
"…L-Loki?"
"Hey, Puppy." With her flailing at end, he let go of her wrists.
"I-I… when did you — ugh…" She didn't have the energy to finish her sentence, instead grasping her head in pain. Loki reached over to turn on the light, jumping when the woman all but shouted at him. "Don't!" At the look of shock on his face, she quickly corrected. "S-Sorry, it's just… please. The light… it gives me a headache."
With a silent nod, he lowered himself onto the bed beside her. "How are you feeling?"
"Mentally…? Like I'm running in and out of Alice's Wonderland."
The god of fire didn't have a clue what a 'Wonderland' was, but if it was anything like the world she had been previously trapped in, he wanted no part of it. "And physically…?"
"Like I got hit by a fucking boulder…" He chuckled at that, shaking his head at her tone. That was the sound he wanted to hear, her unerring sarcasm. "My stomach feels like somebody's twisting a knife in it… and when it's not in excruciating pain, it's got me throwing up all over the place."
"That doesn't sound pleasant," Loki commented, taking note of her pained expression. So far, it seemed like Yui's explanation of possible symptoms was spot on. Unfortunately, she seemed to be experiencing every single one of them. Many of them all at once.
"It isn't — ugh…" Nari grumbled at the sound of her own voice, scratchy and dry from the last few hours. "I sound horrible, don't I? Heh… hard to believe I was ever a singer, let alone an idol."
"The tea you poured is still in the other room," Fuyu reminded, drawing Loki's attention and Nari's sigh. That's right. She had been in the middle of procuring a beverage before her most recent onset of nausea. There had been only moments for her to react before making a mess, leaving her bolting from the kitchen into the bathroom. She must have forgotten about it.
Before she could move to rise however, Loki halted her, hopping to his feet instead. "Stay there. You look like you could collapse at any moment." He didn't wait for her to answer, vanishing from the room in a matter of seconds. It didn't take long for him to find her mug, sitting carefully on the edge of the table right where she left it, still filled to the center with green tea. When he returned to the bedroom, he found her against the wall, legs pulled to her chest and enveloped in her arms. Crossing the room, he offered it to her, earning a half-hearted scowl in response.
"Loki —"
"Drink, Puppy." The god of fire wasn't in the mood to argue. And Nari didn't have the energy. Instead, she sighed and accepted the cup, looking away from him with a bashful expression.
"…Thanks." Lifting it to her lips, she took a gentle sip before letting out yet another exhale. Loki appeared at her side, lifting an eyebrow in response. "Guess I left it sitting too long… it's gone cold."
"That's an easy fix," Loki waved off her concern, plucking the cup from her hands.
"I think you're misunderstanding the definition of 'easy', Loki… I don't have a microwave, so I'll have to remake it. I'll need to reheat the kettle and add more tea leaves. Then, after it steeps, I h — holy shit." Nari's explanation fell on deaf ears, the god of fire focusing his attention on the cup in his hands. Her eyes grew wide as gentle wisps of white started rising from the cup. The god smirked at her, watching her mouth hang open as he handed her the now steaming hot drink. "I-I… wha —"
"The limiters dampen our powers. Not remove them."
"But how —"
"God of fire, Puppy." Loki reminded, fixing her with a triumphant wink. It was taking every ounce of his control not to burst out laughing at her dumbfounded expression. Perhaps at some point during all of their arguments and disagreements, she had somehow forgotten he was a deity. Or maybe it was just seeing such a display of divine power for the first time. Either way, Loki was exceedingly proud of himself.
His classmate could muster nothing further, slowly taking the cup with a widened stare. "Th-Thank you…"
"Anytime." Loki remained highly amused watching the sister sip her tea, feeling a small sense of joy as she sighed in relief. The others had insisted there was little they could do for her regarding her withdrawal, and that was quickly proving to be true. There was nothing he could do to halt or mitigate her discomfort. But that didn't mean he couldn't make it more bearable. When she finished her drink, she placed the empty cup on the bedside table and pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.
His triumphant grin slowly morphed into a perplexed frown as she trembled, body shuddering with every breath. As far as he could tell, the tea should have soothed her. Why she was shaking was a mystery. It was only when her teeth started chattering that he realized. The absolute worst — in Loki's opinion — of his classmate's listed symptoms: chills. "…Are you cold?"
Yet strangely, Nari shook her head… at first. Then, she nodded. Then, she shrugged. "I… I-I don't know. I feel chilled, but I also feel hot… but only on the inside? On the outside I feel —" The look of utter confusion on his face made her realize that she was talking in circles. It couldn't be helped; she was having an exceedingly difficult time trying to figure out how she felt, let alone explain it. In all honesty, her body couldn't seem to decide on a temperature, running intermittent fevers. She would shiver constantly, eventually relenting and burying herself beneath her blankets. But within hours, she would throw them off, feeling as though she were being roasted alive. It was indescribably frustrating.
Finally, she sighed and settled on expressing uncertainty. "I guess so. It's hard to say, I don't really get cold."
He wanted to nod in agreement, but he couldn't really relate. If anything, he was envious of her. Loki hated being cold. It was an awful feeling, even as a god. He couldn't imagine the discomfort she must feel as a human. "And the tea didn't help?"
"I mean… it kind of did. Until it didn't."
"Hmm…" The god of fire pondered his options, trying to think how best to help her. Were he not stuck wearing his limiter, he could try and utilize his power further. Although doing so could easily result in her combustion. Humans were flammable like that. Maybe his power wasn't the best option.
Nari noticed his thought process, shaking her head and placing a gentle hand on his sleeve. "Hey." When he looked at her, she smiled. "I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears, you're thinking so hard. Cool it… you've done plenty. More than enough if I'm being honest."
"You don't look much better, Puppy. If anything, you probably look worse."
His brutal honesty made her snort, wincing slightly as the laughter jolted her abdomen. "It is what it is, Loki… this is just something I have to live with for a while. It's a consequence of my own actions." Her words drove a knife through his chest. A consequence. That was something Loki knew all too well. Punishment of his own actions or lack thereof. A penance that he was still suffering to this day. Possibly for the rest of his existence… "Anyway, the point — what I'm trying to say is… thank you."
"Eh?" That brought him back to reality, blinking down at her in confusion.
"Jeez, don't look so surprised… I'm capable of gratitude, you know. When it's warranted." She ignored his quirked eyebrow and continued before he could make a smart remark. "You didn't have to do any of this… you didn't have to come see me at all. But you did. And… it means a lot."
"It's not a problem, Puppy. I told you… I like you."
Her eyes drifted to the side, the skin below them growing slightly colored. "Right well… um… look, don't worry about what more you can do. You've been a great help. Eventually, this'll pass. I'll be fine."
Loki frowned, narrowing his eyes at his classmate. "Funny. I think I heard you say that once before… right before you landed yourself on house arrest."
Her own smile fell, turning into an irritated scowl. The last time he had seen her, she insisted on her fine health. Then, she overdosed not even 12 hours later. He wasn't wrong, she knew. But that didn't mean she had to like it. Rolling her eyes, she grunted. "Whatever. I take back what I said. You're an ass."
Loki smirked, taking careful note of her tone. There was little bite to her bark; though her words were harsh, he could feel no ill intent behind them. Whether or not she was joking was up for debate, but it was an opportunity that he was happy to take. "Is that so? Well, fine then. If that's how you want to be, I'll just leave." His words had been spoken mostly in jest, the fire god making a show of scooting forward to hop off the bed. Which was why it genuinely surprised him when a clammy hand shot out, grasping gently around his sleeve. "…Puppy?"
"A-Actually, um…" Nari lost her nerve almost immediately, faltering under his curious gaze. This was a terrible idea. She had no idea why she had even let the thought cross her mind. What the hell was wrong with her? It was the withdrawal, without a doubt. It had to be.
"…Hey." Loki's voice grew a bit more earnest, a seriousness taking over his expression as he turned around. He could see the trembling in her limbs, and not from the chills. She was nervous about something. Which only served to raise alarm. "What's wrong?"
"Uh… Could you, um…" Once again, only an utterance escaped her; words were proving difficult for her as she tried to voice her request. She could hear the two sides of her shouting at one another, arguing over her next course of action. One side demanded that she push forward. The other that she let go. It was only another wave of fierce trembling that allowed the first to win out. With a heavy sigh, she soldiered forward, keeping her eyes to the floor, lest she risk seeing his look of rejection. "Could you… stay? I, um… it's just… You're warm…"
Adorable.
Loki couldn't hide his smile, his hardened expression softening at her request. He had spent many a century watching others flee from his flames; their fear was reasonable, lest they find themselves burned. Yet strangely, it was a human. This odd human woman that would do the opposite, leaning forward into his warmth rather than shy away from it. It was reminiscent of a better time… one he often tried to forget, yet always seemed to remember.
Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he slowly nodded his head and returned to her. "Sure, Puppy." He joined her on the bed, flopping himself onto the mattress with a quiet thump. She followed him, transferring her grip from his sleeve to his jacket as she silently curled up beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. The effect was almost immediate; Loki's presence was like having a living space heater. One that warmed her body yet wasn't too hot. It was just right, so comfortable that she found her eyelids growing heavy as the minutes went on. Loki said nothing; he just watched her eyes close, smiling as she drifted off into her first restful sleep in days.
When her breathing slowed, Loki looked toward her. With all the lights shut off, in the far back of the room, only small glimmers illuminated the area around him. Even in the dim light of the room, her light skin was nearly visible, like the moon itself had ventured in to join him. He could never understand how it was possible; even the snow-accustomed gods of Asgard weren't so pale. If not for her energetic behavior, he would genuinely believe she was actually sick. At the very least, something was wrong with her. But by now, he had grown used to it even if it did raise occasional concern.
He felt a yawn overtaking him, wondering if perhaps he should take a nap as well. It wasn't likely he would be moving for a while; he had a feeling the older sister was a light sleeper. Closing his eyes, Loki let the exhale escape him stretching out his free arm to his side. When he opened them, he felt his entire body tense, a horrifying image; a flicker of the past haunting him for the briefest moment. Startled, he blinked his eyes and looked back at her again. Sure enough, Nari was there, fast asleep, locks of navy not silver. His eyes were playing tricks on him. It seemed she wasn't the only one to suffer hallucinations.
Sleeping was no longer in the cards for him; he quickly put the idea out of his mind. Shaking his head, the god of fire let it fall back onto the pillow, eyes gazing up at the bed ceiling. The only sound he could hear was Nari's breathing and the tiny padding of paws moving around in the other room.
He didn't look down at her again.
